Chapter Text
You are the smartest man in the world. You don't have feelings.
You're too intelligent for that, aren't you? All you need is your cold, hard logic, right? Feelings are how regular people make their decisions, but your reasoning is so much more efficient at it. When you challenged your enemy, with his unexplainable, unnatural and oh-so-lethal powers, your insides twisted, your heart tried to escape from any possible orifice and your hands were shaking too much to hold a teacup. But you weren't scared. You boldly taunted him, confident that everything would be fine.
You are the smartest man in the world. You don't have feelings.
When you saw Ukita's dead body on the television screen, you could have shattered steel candy from how hard you clenched your teeth. Bright red marks were left on your calf from how hard you squeezed it. But you weren't angry. You stayed calm and collected, rationally analysing the situation.
You are the smartest man in the world. You don't have feelings.
When you gained two friends, a warmness appeared in your chest, a bounce in your steps that weren't there before. When your lips twist upwards, it looks like a smile, you know? But you weren't happy. You knew they were guilty and you kept examining their every action trying to prove it.
You are the smartest man in the world. You don't have feelings.
When the man who was almost your father (of course, you never called him that) died, you were cold and empty, water welling in your eyes. But you weren't sad. You stayed focused on the mystery, climbing on the piling lies to reach the truth. Even when everything was going wrong, the cogs in your brain never stopped, did they? When pain exploded in your chest, when your chair turned into cold hard ground, when you saw the vicious smile of your rival (written as friend, pronounced as enemy), tell me, did it occur to you?
Maybe you aren't the smartest man in the world. Maybe you do have feelings.
Maybe you felt scared and angry and happy and sad like everyone else. But it doesn't matter, does it?
You're dead.