Work Text:
[...] “the enfolding limbs, go burdened to learn:
you must sing to be found; when found, you must sing.”
Li-Young Lee, You Must Sing
They had not seen each other in a while, not since Hongbin moved out and always had something else to do, among soda advertising and fifteen hours of streaming himself playing computer games.
Sanghyuk started watching the streams — at first, he watched it for Hongbin’s smile, something he missed dearly. When they would barely call each other, though, he felt attracted to the voice. He ended up listening to Hongbin’s banter just so he could perform everyday tasks. That was how the streams became part of Sanghyuk’s routine.
He tried not to question it too much. It made him feel at ease and helped him fall asleep. Hongbin was funny and nice to look at. How could he debate something that made him so productive?
That was until the day he barely noticed his internal fight against a very, very stupid urge to lazily touch himself.
Hongbin kept stroking his fringe, trying to take it out of his eyes. His hair was chaotically growing out, and he seemed annoyed, but Sanghyuk could not help thinking it was intentional, even if Hongbin complained and threatened to have a haircut.
Sanghyuk remembered being young, having the deepest crush on a messy-haired Hongbin, all curls and hair ties everywhere. When they first met, Hongbin’s smile had Sanghyuk’s head dizzy for days.
What changed with the years , he would ask himself, knowing exactly what went on.
Back then, Sanghyuk could perceive every time Hongbin felt unimportant, that feeling connected the two. Being seventeen and intimidated by everyone hardly helped him convey his feelings toward them. He even practiced telling Hongbin praises like “ you are not just a pretty face, though you are, like, very handsome” but every day something different made him retreat a little more to himself.
At that time, he could never imagine how close they would get. Certainly never thought that every time they would be left alone, he would go to Hongbin’s room and comfortably play video games for hours.
Even his hidden musings never anticipated the day they were just hanging out, making fun of their teammate’s supposed sexual tension, until they noticed what was being spoken, what possibilities they were seeing. And then, he would feel those lips on his, and fuck , Hongbin had the softest skin he had ever caressed.
Watching that stream easily made him remember a panting, sweaty Hongbin, doing the same with his then much shorter fringe. Out of the way. Hongbin above him, wickedly smiling and pinning him down because no, Sanghyuk, you stop with your games.
He did not touch himself for more than a few seconds, feeling guilty, too attached to nice memories. Instead, he would organize his room with the streams on, he would cook — or try —, text others, and eventually, look at Hongbin rambling, too much hair falling down his face — and let his fingertips trace paths around his own jaw like Hongbin would.
⧍
His loneliness got progressively worse after Jaehwan moved out.
He flourished among Wonshik’s mess, slept through Hakyeon’s loud laugh. He never felt the need for affection because Taekwoon would piss him off about it first. Bickering with Hongbin often was the best part of his day.
From the beginning, he knew that eventually, they would move out, even if he pictured fewer things getting in their way. The overall feeling was of not having any time to get over any of the events.
He felt whiny, knowing that trying to seem more mature or collected made no sense because no one was there to see it. While being sure that the well-being of his friends was above everything, he still considered that apartment too empty.
His pride got smaller as his pile of unwashed clothes multiplied. Sanghyuk decided he could try, had to.
“I have time this weekend”, Hongbin wrote back to him not much later. Sanghyuk could see himself saying please , but did not. Seconds after going mad at such a dry response, it hit him that Hongbin was live.
He then sent a better invitation, which felt wrong because only a few months before, that was Hongbin’s home too.
⧍
The couple knocks came early, but Sanghyuk’s perception of time could be skewed as he found himself cleaning even the tiles of the bathroom as he showered. He hurried to greet Hongbin, yet still wearing his pajamas, because he did not want the guest using his old key.
None of it mattered because Hongbin had his palms feeling Sanghyuk’s broad back from inside his sleeping shirt and smiled — fuck if Sanghyuk could deal with any of that, so they kissed. Pressed into each other, no need to look around to know how strange it was to do it there , out in the open, where so much had happened over the years.
Hongbin was daring. His hands applied pressure everywhere, even if being teased for how small and cute they were. His skin was as soft as always, Sanghyuk noted, a waist so thin for all of his palms — a comforting constant.
So naturally, when Sanghyuk tried to pull Hongbin’s hair, bare the thin skin of the neck, he heard the complaint.
“You’re annoying,” and a soft laugh. “Leave the hair.”
⧍
“It looks nice with the beds like this,” Hongbin said after having a look at the bedroom, now lacking a specific brand of mess, one different from Sanghyuk’s. “You put it here today, didn’t you?”
Knowing the answer could not stop him from wanting to see Sanghyuk’s reaction. They knew each other for too long, Sanghyuk mused. Because Hongbin was there, sitting on the bed, drinking in every single emotion he could see — all with fondness.
While his mind went through the possibility of sitting by Hongbin’s side, hands over the smaller ones — his body had already straddled Hongbin’s lap, hands firm on the nape full of messy hair.
Hongbin opened his mouth to talk, but Sanghyuk noticed, softened his touches, and started another kiss. Even doing his best to not be overwhelming, Hongbin’s hands on him showed another direction.
Hongbin grabbed. The scratches would hurt if he had longer nails. Sanghyuk felt like Hongbin wanted all of him at once — the fistfuls of hips, thighs, backside.
Sanghyuk kept his mouth occupied and tried to hide his excited breath. Useless, he would find out, as Hongbin would grope his chest to, more delicate than all else, rub his thumbs over the small nipples.
Hongbin caught the small moan with his mouth. He always was the louder between the two of them, so every Sanghyuk reaction seemed to mean a lot to him. Not wanting the self-consciousness to hit Sanghyuk that early, Hongbin encouraged him by filthily making the kisses wetter than they had been — and showing how his own lips would let out such sounds.
Stopping to stare at Sanghyuk’s lips, Hongbin figured his would be just as damp, and followed to where his hand was. He tested his tongue on the fabric once, twice. The third time, he closed his lips around it, and sucked.
Although all that he could easily do was grind his hip, Sanghyuk also had his fingertips sinking into Hongbin’s waist. His almost inaudible gasp overlapped with the enthusiastic and provoking moans against the wet fabric over his nipples.
When they first hooked up, Sanghyuk believed Hongbin’s loud sexual practices were just a specific behavior to turn him on — because it really, really did — but as it kept happening, he noticed Hongbin turned himself on doing it, and that , that only made it more attractive.
“You feel so heavy,” Hongbin mentioned when helping Sanghyuk get rid of his shirt, who then started getting up. “No,” he got Sanghyuk on his lap again. “It’s good, I missed it.”
The dimpled smile faded during a kiss, and Sanghyuk did not mind that happening over and over again. By the time he had his hands all over Hongbin’s torso, his pajama bottoms were already a little down just enough for him to have his crotch slowly stroked, and he thought about what to say.
“I bought condoms for you,” he revealed, slightly moving to open his bedside drawer. “If you, you know, want,” he finished with a smile, making Hongbin seemingly recalculate his actions.
“Get up, I’m going to suck you off,” Hongbin announced while patting his butt.
No resistance to that, although Sanghyuk thought it would be funny to refuse. It had happened a few times, and he usually regretted it.
Hongbin was enthusiastic when it came to teasing. He did not mind sucking on underwear, just as he did before with a shirt. He did not mind having his fingers barely applying pressure on Sanghyuk’s ass crack.
The first time they did the same thing, he was so rushed and nervous that he could barely recall it after. When he started taking his time, the almost inaudible sounds coming from Sanghyuk would become a vivid memory that came to him frequently as he touched himself in the shower.
So when there was no fabric, only his hot mouth and the very tip of Sanghyuk’s cock, he wanted to stretch the time to hear more of the deep, lovely moan he heard. He knew Sanghyuk liked to be overwhelmed; every lick matched the touches of his hands, and when he focused on sucking, his nails scraped the strong thighs.
He stopped a little when Sanghyuk’s hands moved from his cheeks to cautiously feel the brown locks, but there was no time to hear an apology, as he was just picking up a bottle of lubricant.
While the coated fingers moved in circles just to relax the contracting entrance, he looked up. Sanghyuk swallowed saliva, unable to look anywhere else — sure that if he opened his mouth, he would start a dirty sentence only for it to end up sappy.
Hongbin made noises around him so casually, Sanghyuk knew they were not even intended as praise. A particularly tight suck preceded a slow, teasing finger.
He felt shaky, not having imagined Hongbin getting to that stage so soon. He had in mind the dragging hours, the bickering — but would not change anything. Hongbin could do whatever he pleased. No one else knew him better.
Sanghyuk was particularly turned on by Hongbin’s recurrent carefulness with his sensitive ass. Being fingered while the other only nuzzled at his cock was beyond a pleasant sight; he could not even call it teasing, he would let it last forever. The position seemed limited, but he was glad to look down and catch Hongbin so focused.
Hongbin did not want to stop spreading Sanghyuk open, so he just resumed licking all the pre-come that leaked. When he got to the head again, after a couple of sloppy, hands-free attempts, he swallowed what he could.
From that, Sanghyuk only saw whatever colors his shut eyes seemed to project, overwhelmed to his core. That tongue seemed to only get hotter. The cold air reached the wetness immediately making it feel warmer.
He was barely thinking when he tightened his grip on Hongbin’s hair. Felt what could be a moan, along with a hard thrust of two of the chubby fingers he missed.
“Bin,” he mouthed, sure he could not have warned more than that try. He held him in place, not pushing any forward. Those grips helped him balance out all of his being, sighing softly as he came.
Hongbin did not give him much time to ease his breathing before getting up. With one hand on Sanghyuk’s neck, he watched the half-open mouth and the wet eyelashes.
As Hongbin got closer, Sanghyuk was sure he could do more kissing. Hongbin held his chin instead, and coached his mouth open with a thumb. Then, on the tip of his toes to make himself a little taller, Hongbin did a messy job of spitting back on Sanhyuk’s tongue his own release. It was quick, almost instinctual.
“I told you to fucking leave the hair,” he said, gritting his teeth, trying to hide a smirk. But he could not hide a large smile at the sight of a Sanghyuk with wide eyes, puffy bottom lip dripping, still panting after orgasm.
There was no immediate retaliation. Sanghyuk bit his lip and cleaned his face with the back of his hand, trying to process how much of his surprise was guilt or arousal. “I don’t think you helped your cause,” he confessed in a low voice, staring at Hongbin. “Now I undoubtedly want to do it—”
“Brat,” Hongbin mentioned, and he could only laugh, a laugh Sanghyuk himself had jokingly described as evil before.
Sanghyuk teased a kiss but landed on his neck, smiling lustfully because he got to see Hongbin close his eyes in anticipation. He could not see Hongbin’s face, only hear the frustrated sigh. Which was enough.
He knew Hongbin. Hongbin did not like getting purposefully marked, being told what to do, or feeling controlled.
Sanghyuk licked sweat, slowly tasting where he wanted to devour, wondering if Hongbin would allow a strong bite if he reached a place where a shirt could hide. The long fingers, rougher than he intended, kneaded skin. He felt his hair being pulled with an intensity that was unknown until then — no one to blame but himself.
He rested his head on Hongbin just to look down. After repeatedly grabbing and scraping Hongbin’s backside, almost hungry for the smoothness, he dared to play with the waistband of the underwear still there. All to watch such beautiful act that was Hongbin bucking his hips, cock twitching.
A short, confident laugh escaped his lips. He moved his head and looked up into Hongbin’s eyes, only to grind his knee on the clothed erection.
He knew Hongbin. Hongbin liked Sanghyuk’s games, getting teased, and being the last one to finish.
Sanghyuk was easily pushed back to sit on the bed, Hongbin’s knees on his sides. Their lips moved at once, more tongue than anything. He wouldn’t mind watching Hongbin fall apart like that, moving his hips so seductively, damp underwear. He thought about saying it, even swallowing saliva before speaking.
Hongbin had other plans. He toyed with Sanghyuk’s torso once again, scraping his teeth on the collarbones. When his fingertips caressed the recently spent cock, Sanghyuk grabbed a fistful of hair. Hongbin only stared.
Sanghyuk did not say all the flattering sensual images that had crossed his mind. They were not there anymore.
“If you fuck me from behind, I won’t be able to touch your hair,” was what he said instead.
Hongbin could feel his body pulsating, nervous and excited. “You would like that, wouldn’t you?”
Sanghyuk agreed silently.
“Too bad,” Hongbin frowned treacherously. “Because what I want right now is to watch you get hard again, and—”
Sanghyuk was stronger than him, had been for years. He surely did not make it any harder, finding himself easily lying down with the younger’s weight above him.
There were no games as Sanghyuk finally coaxed him into taking off that last piece of clothing, greedily smearing the collected wetness.
While licking his own fingers, he could see himself shoving them into that pretty mouth. It was late for that, though. Hongbin seemed to catch on to it.
“Do it,” he said, licking his lips. “Do it, Hyuk.”
Sanghyuk caressed his hair where he could reach and gazed at the indecent expression. The spit reached Hongbin’s shiny lips so slowly that he almost went weak. As soon as it ended, Hongbin pulled him into a long, wet kiss, only retreating after biting his bottom lip, his jaw, and his neck.
When Sanghyuk reached for the bottle they had recently used, Hongbin shivered. The anticipation was too much, it had been so long. He did not have a diverse collection of experiences, but big, broad Hyogi asking to be fucked was always his favorite.
“Can I stay like this?” Sanghyuk asked close to his face, lips scraping on his jaw. “Can your small hand reach me?” he smiled buried in Hongbin’s neck.
There was little time between a scoff and the first finger, aimed deep without hesitation. He let out a small moan. Trying to chase the sensation, the weight of his chest rested on Hongbin as he ground back into the finger.
The weight meant everything. Hongbin would gladly suffocate if it meant feeling Sanghyuk above him.
Sanghyuk knew, their most urgent nights were spent like that, frotting before sleeping. Holding his weight with one arm, he attempted to reach Hongbin’s crotch.
“Don’t,” Hongbin whined.
Sanghyuk exhaled with his dirtiest smile.
“I never know how you do it,” he confessed. “But today I won’t pull out until you finish. If you want—” three fingers. “If you want to keep a boner to sleep, I’ll—”
Nails sank on his muscular ass.
“I’ll fucking help you later,” he finished, holding his hips up.
Hongbin shamelessly moaned while entering him. Sanghyuk admired the sight of the man under him, unable to even open his eyes, the almost peaceful expression. The soft skin had the faintest pinks from his lip balm, and the waist with finger marks that he did not recall making but knew he always did. When he sprawled a hand over the pristine stomach for leverage, Hongbin opened his eyes again.
“You wanted to watch,” Sanghyuk pointed out.
He would not say he was good at riding a man, though he could certainly affirm he was good with Hongbin. Slow. His hard cock on display. The building pressure over that tummy. Biting his lips to watch the perfect smile, wide open for all sounds to escape.
“You know,” Hongbin started, still panting. “I sort of miss you all the time.”
Sanghyuk moved his head close. “I like you too,” he answered. “Sort of always have.”