Work Text:
Wei Wuxian has recently realized he wants to fuck his best friend, Lan Zhan.
Well, not just fuck. Date and be in love and all that shit, but first, he has to get Lan Zhan to want to fuck him or at least kiss him. So, Wei Wuxian decided to come up with the most erotic situation he could think of.
And so, here we are.
“No,”
“Lan Zhannn!”
“No. Wei Ying…” pleads Lan Zhan.
“C’mon, I want to know what it feels like, and you’re the most careful, wonderful person I know! So, I’m asking you!” He wasn’t fully lying.
“Wei Ying. I cannot choke you,”
“Why not?”
Lan Zhan is just looking at him. He’s doing something complicated with his face that Wei Wuxian hasn’t seen before… and he wants to push it.
“Aw Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says as he sways his way towards the other man. “I only trust you,” he says as he looks up through his eyelashes. Wei Wuxian knows this will work. It will work because it’s true.
Lan Zhan seems to be studying his face. He takes a breath in and quietly says,
“Ok,”
“Yeah?” Wei Wuxian says in a more serious tone. He needs to make sure Lan Zhan actually wants this.
“Wei Ying will be in safe hands,”
“Oh, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying wants to melt. Oh right… seducing.
“Well, where do you want me?” He croons as he stretches his neck out a bit. He wants to spread himself out before Lan Zhan like a whole meal.
“Wei Ying, we can’t do that tonight,”
“Huh?” Well, that snapped him right out of the mood. “Why not?” He whines.
“I need to research the best way to do this. I will not compromise your safety in any way,”
Wei Wuxian wants to whine and throw a fit, but he is just a bit too much in love. So instead, he throws himself against Lan Zhan’s chest.
“You fuddy-duddy, what am I going to do with you?”
Lan Zhan’s arms tighten around his waist.
“Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan says into Wei Wuxian’s hair.
“Hm?”
“I need to tell you something… before we do that,”
Wei Wuxian looks up from Lan Zhan’s chest.
“Yeah?” he says, his big gray eyes meeting Lan Zhan’s.
Lan Zhan brushes some hair from Wei Wuxian’s face.
Please. He thinks. Please, please say you love me, Lan Zhan. Please.
Lan Wangji slowly moves his hand is Wei Wuxian’s face. He lightly touches his cheek and brushes a piece of hair out of Wei Wuxian’s eyes. He takes a breath.
“I love you, Wei Ying,”
He said it. Lan Zhan quietly said the most earth-shattering and glorious words that Wei Wuxian longed to hear.
“I love you too. My Lan Zhan,” he says with a grin.
Lan Zhan’s shoulders relax as his grip tightens on Wei Wuxian’s waist. They both lean in and share a simple but perfect kiss. They hug for a while until Wei Wuxian sighs.
“Wow, I can’t believe it worked,”
“Mm?” Lan Zhan asks as he sneakily tries to smell Wei Wuxian’s hair.
Wei Wuxian tells him of his seduction plan. When he finishes, Lan Zhan is looking at him like he has two heads.
“What?! It worked, didn’t it? Well, I thought we were going to have to fuck before you realized you’re in love with–Mph!” Lan Zhan interrupts him with a kiss. Wei Wuxian throws his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck.
“You are the most ridiculous person I know,” says Lan Zhan.
“But you still love me, right?”
“Always, forever,” Lan Zhan says as he kisses Wei Wuxian’s forehead.
Wei Wuxian makes a strange whining screech, “Lan Zhan! You can’t say things like that without warning me! My heart can’t take it!”
Lan Zhan leans in and brushes his lips against Wei Wuxian’s ear.
“But your heart could take getting choked by me?” gently teases Lan Wangji.
Then Lan Zhan nips his ear lobe, and Wei Wuxian’s brain blissfully short circuits.