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When I think of Erza...
...I think about the sea breeze and scarlet sunsets.
When Mirajane and Elfman came home from a mission one day, they brought with them Lisanna in a body bag.
Erza had stared in horror as Elfman hurriedly explained through the sobs that wracked his body that he’d killed his sister with his own hands as his Take Over lost control. Mirajane stood standing beside her brother’s slumped form, dark tear tracks lining her cheeks. Her hand absently rubbed comfortingly against Elfman’s shoulders, but she said nothing to correct the preposterous thing Elfman said, so perhaps it was safe to assume that it was true.
Makarov shooed everyone away and had some of the older guild members tend to Lisanna’s body. The remaining Strausses were shuffled into Master’s office, not to be seen for a couple of hours.
“I can’t believe it,” Cana said as she sat at Erza’s table, clearly hovering to hear more news.
Erza only nodded. She took a healthy swig of her drink instead of answering. Her throat felt small as a pinprick.
“Kinda fucked up, if you realize how many people in their family Mira and Elfman have buried, huh?” When Erza cut a look at Cana, the brunette flinched. “Sorry. I’m kinda crass when someone dies. I want to shut the fuck up, but I can’t. This is just crazy sad.”
“I agree. We just have to be there for whatever they need now.” Erza stood, dusting crumbs off her skirt. “I’ll see what I can do to help with the funeral arrangements if Mirajane lets me help.”
It turns out, none of that was Mirajane needed.
In the middle of the night came quiet knocking on Erza’s room, revealed to be none other than Mirajane. She wore the same bloodied clothes from earlier, and a despondent look in her eyes that made Erza’s heart clench.
Wordlessly, Erza let Mirajane inside, slinging an arm around her shoulders and leading her to the en suite.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?”
Erza drew a warm bath for Mirajane, who stripped and came into the bath without any protest. Erza watched Mirajane sit in the tub, hunched over on her knees. Erza took a coarse towel and began to scrub the dirt off Mirajane’s skin, the blood. The water was murky in no time.
“Where’s Elfman tonight?” Erza asked because the silence was suffocating.
“Dunno. I don’t--” Mirajane paused, craning her head a little away as if to avoid Erza’s gaze. “I don’t want to think about him right now.”
Erza nodded. She ran the cloth over Mirajane’s back, careful of the shallow cuts. “Have you eaten? I’ll get you some food--”
“No, I’ll just throw up.” Mirajane pulled her wet hair over her shoulder and began to lather some suds into it. “Everyone keeps bothering me tonight. I just want to not exist in the real world for a while.”
“Okay. You can sleep here if you like. I’ll make sure you’re undisturbed.”
“Thank you, Erza.”
When Erza was satisfied with the bath, she got Mirajane into the shower to wash off while she prepared bedclothes and a spare toothbrush.
Once Mirajane was clothed and fresh, she joined Erza back inside the bedroom. She sat on the bed beside Erza.
“Thanks, Erza. I really just can’t deal right now.”
“Don’t even think about it. Just rest up, and let me know what I can do to help out.” Erza smiled.
There were very often kind, tender moments between the two of them, despite the outward appearance of them being rivals. They were just kids who were trying to give each other the innocence that had been stolen from their youth, and wasn’t it apt that they found it in each other’s arms?
No one understood the other’s pain quite as they did. Here, in the dark, it was just the two of them trying to heal, trying to find normalcy in a world that forced them to grow up too fast.
Now, nothing would be the same. Things would be just a little bit more screwed up than they already were and damn it, Erza couldn’t find the words to say to make things better. She was usually better than this. She wanted to tell Mirajane that everything would be okay, maybe in time, maybe when she healed from this fucking nightmare, but Erza couldn’t lie to Mirajane like that. Bile and misery rushed to her throat at the thought of a guild member dead, so she couldn’t even imagine how it must feel for a sibling to be so brutally killed like that. Erza wanted to cry for Mirajane, Elfman, and Lisanna, but she didn’t think it was her place to mourn for anyone but herself.
Envisioning the world moving forward, it was bound to be bleak. But maybe right now, as the moon shone and the stars twinkled, it could be fine. Maybe she could give Mirajane some semblance of comfort like they always did.
It was Mirajane who moved first, her mind on the same wavelength as Erza’s. Her kiss was soft like she was asking for permission, but Erza thought that after everything, after all the storms they’ve weathered together, they were past that. She returned the kiss with fervor, her hand coming up to grab Mirajane by her borrowed shirt so they could be closer. When her hands sought her, she was ready. Her lips were giving and relenting to her bruising ones.
Erza could feel how Mirajane trembled, sobbing into her mouth. She pulled away, pressing her lips to the sharp point of Mirajane’s cheek. There was one time coming back from the S-Class trials when they passed a village and a local recognized Mirajane and cried, “ Demon! ” Erza thought that the girl whimpering into the space between her collar and her jaw right now couldn’t be farther from such.
There was really nothing to say. Erza only smoothed her hand up and down Mirajane’s back as she broke.
As soon as the hints of dawn peeked through Erza’s windows, Mirajane rolled out of the bed, untangling herself from Erza’s gangly limbs. As she found last night’s filthy clothes, she heard Erza shuffle on the sheets, the strains of morning light casting a glow on her naked skin.
“Go back to sleep, Erza,” Mirajane said as she zipped up her boots.
“You should–”
“I shouldn’t.” Mirajane’s face was steely. “I have a funeral to plan.”
Erza was quiet for a beat. And then, “Well, when you give yourself a break, you know where to find me.”
Erza rolled over until her back was to the door so she couldn’t see Mirajane leave.