Chapter Text
A soulmate could be anyone: a lover, a friend, a parent, a guardian, sometimes even an enemy. A red string wraps around your finger when you turn eighteen and is only visible to you and your soulmate, making it a mark to find each other.
Sometimes soulmates are someone close, someone you have already formed a bond with. They are called magnet soulmates; the kind that are attracted to one another even before fate could play its part.
Like Joshua and Seokmin; two of Mingyu's childhood friends. They were already dating for three years and just found out they were soulmates two months ago on Seokmin's eighteenth birthday. They took it as a sign of fate and the bond solidified their relationship further.
Sometimes soulmates are strangers, like in the case of his brother Seungcheol and his soulmate Jeonghan. They met at age twenty when they sat next to each other in a class. They have been best friends ever since. Technically, they are very different people. Seungcheol is reserved, hot-tempered and inexpressive while Jeonghan is literal ball of sunshine. Somehow, they complement each other perfectly. Seungcheol once said that Jeonghan is the moon controlling the raging waves to his sea. Mingyu had never heard a better description of their relationship.
Once the bond is made, you share every emotion with your soulmate, never having to feel lonely.
Mingyu had heard several stories of how soulbonds are supposed to be special. His parents hated each other at their workplace until they found out they were soulmates. They said that the bond made them understand each other like no one else could. It is like two people becoming one in the soul.
Another friend of his, Kwon Soonyoung, found his soulmate in a 35-year-old actor from his agency, Lee Soo-hyuk. He had seen them go above and beyond for one another. They are each other's solace and have the purest form of a soulbond Mingyu had ever witnessed.
Whoever his soulmate was; however they were, he was ready to embrace them with a warm and welcoming heart.
He had heard that you feel electricity surging from your pinky finger to the rest of your body when you get your string. He had heard people say that they feel a pull on their finger when they meet their soulmates. He couldn't wait to experience that.
His living room was decorated prettily; everyone wore party hats, and a large-sized cardboard of Mingyu wrapped in red string stood by the door. He guessed that it was Seokmin's idea. They had a similar sense of humour.
“Let's begin the countdown," Jeonghan lit a candle on the cake. Mingyu's friends surrounded him, eyes stuck on their watches. Seungcheol was in front of the table, video-calling their parents to witness the moment.
This was it; his special day. It was his eighteenth birthday and the day he would get to start seeking his soulmate.
He was afraid he would pass out before the countdown ended. His eyes were affixed on his pinky finger. He was sure he wasn't even blinking; his heart was beating like a drum.
10
Thump
9
Thump
8
Thump
7
Thump
6
He kept one hand on his chest, afraid of his rapid heartbeat.
5
Thump, thump
4
A static silence filled their room. No one dared to breathe. Only Jenghan's voice echoed, counting the numbers.
3
Mingyu feared they would bore a hole in his finger from their intense stares.
2
1
And nothing.
There was no red string, no feeling of electricity, no pull. His head was spinning in confusion. He blinked rapidly, filtering out the chatter around him. His friends were already celebrating, loud and spirited.
He first wondered why they weren’t in shock like him. Then he remembered that they couldn't see his thread.
He tried to speak, to tell them but his voice came out broken and weak.
Jeonghan was singing a birthday song next to him. Before he could grab his attention, he had already pushed a piece of cake into his mouth.
“Mingyu? What is it?” His ever-observant brother, Seungcheol, noticed his struggle and the party paused.
“It's not there." He must have sounded like a small child.
“What is not there?" Seokmin asked, almost gasping, coming to a realisation all by himself.
“How is that possible?" Soonyoung expressed but Mingyu had shut off by then. He rubbed the pinky finger on his right hand again and again until it itched and became raw; until it was deep red, just like the thread that was supposed to be around it.
Someone tried to shake him out of that state. It worked and he met with his brother's worried eyes, trying to hug him.
He couldn't bear standing in the living room around all the birthday decorations and the red velvet cake with its red string decorations along with his concerned friends, so he ran out.
He sat on the staircase outside of his apartment, trying his best to block the idea of what it meant. He knew it. He had heard of it. He just couldn't accept it happening to himself.
“Mingyu." It was Joshua that followed him.
“Nothing you say is going to help me right now. Please just leave me alone."
“Let's not jump to conclusions." Joshua sat beside him, keeping enough space between them so that Mingyu wouldn't feel trapped; so that he could decide to reach for him or to walk out.
“There is no other explanation. Either I never had a soulmate…or….my soulmate is…" he swallowed mid-sentence, unable to say the word. Because saying it would mean accepting and accepting would mean pain.
At the bottom of the stairs, he noticed a boy standing awkwardly. He was wearing a navy blue coat, it looked like Mingyu’s school uniform. He had jet-black hair that matched the black frame of his big spectacle. He thought that maybe he had to use the stairs but was polite enough to wait and not interrupt the conversation. Then he felt awkward because what the hell was he doing having a mental breakdown on his building's staircase?
“You know Soo-hyuk hyung had to wait nine years until Soonyoung turned 18. What if your soulmate is younger than you?" Joshua pulled his attention, adamant about cheering him.
As much as Mingyu appreciated the effort, he didn't want false hope. “That does not explain the absence of the string, Shua. I know you are trying to help but the faster I accept it, the less painful it would be."
“That's not necessarily true, Mingyu, I know this is not something you need to hear right now but not having a soulmate isn't the end of the world and you still have some amazing people in your life that would do anything for your happiness. Just know that you will never be lonely. We won't let that happen."
Something about that broke Mingyu. What was supposed to be his happiest day had become a nightmare within mere 10 seconds.
“Why did it have to happen to me?" He cried in Joshua's arms and cried some more and cried some more until Seongcheol came to take them inside. He was limp between them, too tired to carry his own weight.
In the corner of his eyes, he still saw that boy staring at them from his spot. It almost looked like he was eavesdropping. But he wasn't even hiding. He hates people who find entertainment in drama. He could have reprimanded him in normal circumstances but he didn’t care much about it.
The next morning he woke up startled. It was presumably a nightmare that he couldn't remember. His phone was buzzing with notifications. They must be birthday wishes from his peers, curious about the status of his soul thread.
He hurriedly rechecked his finger, hoping that the previous night was just a glitch in the system and that it was somehow magically fixed. But his finger was just as barren as it had been for the last eighteen years.
On his way to the shower, he caught a shadow outside his door. It was probably Seoungcheol checking on him secretly, he thought.
Seungcheol had cleaned the house before Mingyu woke up. He had cleared every single trace of the party and the remembrance of the red string. He also prepared eggs for breakfast, unseasoned and half cooked. Cooking was not exactly his forté, it was always Mingyu's department so he appreciated his brother's efforts.
Technically, it was still his birthday but he wanted to do nothing about it.
“I will talk to my professors today. Let's not just give up without answers." Seungcheol told him while eating.
He studied soulmate history in college. It's the archaeological branch of soul study to find its origins. There wasn't much that humans knew about the phenomenon and the oldest documents dated from just three hundred years ago.
He didn't say anything. He did not want to think about it. Seungcheol probably sensed it and didn't carry the conversation ahead. They ate the rest of the breakfast in peaceful silence and for a milli-second Mingyu saw a flash of a shadow in their kitchen. Maybe whatever nightmare he had was making him paranoid or maybe the shock of the previous night was finally catching up with him.
All through the day he was lost. He attended lectures absentmindedly. Thankfully, his classmates and teachers left him alone. They must have been informed of his situation by his friends.
His friends were concerned, he knew. They tried their best to take his mind off it but every time he saw Joshua and Seokmin hold hands, every time Soonyoung smiled to himself for no reason whatsoever, probably from a shot of serotonin he received from his soulmate, he felt the ache in his chest. There was a hollowness in it. A deep pit of consuming darkness that he just knew was not his.
Mingyu had never felt that way before.
If you could feel your soulmate's emotions and if his soulmate…was…dead, is this how death feels like, he wondered.
Skipping the lunch break to avoid people, he sat in the library alone, avoiding the rest of the world with his earphones plugged in, reading through a book titled, 'Dead Soulmates.' It was a collection of stories of people that experienced the same thing he had.
There were some entries about when people's soul strings never appeared and how they had to grieve a person they never met. Or when their soulmates passed away before them and the unexplainable emptiness they left behind. In both cases, they described it as losing half of yourself, quite literally. Like they could never experience their own emotions to its full extent. Some cases showed signs of actual physical pain. Mingyu found it fascinating how the soul and body are so connected and dependent on each other.
Mingyu wondered about his soul’s other half. He tried to imagine his soulmate. What kind of person would they have been? What kind of life did they live? What would have happened to them? Was their life lonely without a soulmate? Were they disappointed that their soulmate did not find them until their very last breath?
He felt like he had failed them.
Many students were whispering about him in the library. Frustrated, he spread his eyes through the room warningly and saw the same boy he saw on his stairs the previous night. He was leaning against an aisle, shamelessly staring straight at Mingyu. His eyes were dark and an unreadable expression sat on his face.
He was just one of the many eyes that followed Mingyu around from the morning he stepped into the school. Usually, he would confront them but he was too exhausted. All he wanted was to go home and sleep.
The third time he saw that boy was in the elevator on his way home. But he did not think much about it. He already assumed they lived in the same building. They were standing next to each other and the boy was once again staring at Mingyu. But he looked like he was studying him, observing every single move Mingyu made. Mingyu felt a shiver run down his spine.
Also showing patience for the third time, he decided to just stay silent and get off the elevator. Usually, he isn't so hostile. He is quite friendly and he loves talking to people. But this boy had watched him sob like a baby just a night before. He knew about the absence of his soul thread. He had too much information on Mingyu. He felt a little embarrassed.
He wondered if the boy had found his soulmate. He seemed about Mingyu's age. So he must be past eighteen. Every time he saw someone older than him, he loved playing the game of guessing their soulmates.
Maybe that's why fate decided to leave him guessing forever.
It was indeed a weird feeling, grieving the loss of someone you have never seen, never met, never touched. Someone whose death shouldn't affect you so much if you didn't know them at all and yet left a gaping hole in your heart. Didn't he at least deserve to know who he had lost? Didn't he at least deserve their name?
That boy got off the same floor. Maybe he had rented that spare apartment in the farthest corner of the corridor, he thought.
They walked almost shoulder to shoulder until the boy's steps paused. Mingyu took the opportunity to walk past him.
That's when he felt eyes over his shoulders.
He slowly turned his head and almost screamed. “What the hell! You scared me."
He tried to play it cool, secretly preparing to run in and lock the door in his face.
The boy looked behind as if he thought Mingyu wasn't talking to him. Then he looked back at him in confusion and hesitantly pointed at himself, “Are you talking to me?"
“Who else would I talk to? You and I are the only people here. What the hell are you doing following me to my house anyway. I have been watching you stalk me for two days now. Go before I call the police." Okay, maybe it wasn't the best idea to stand up to him in the empty hallway.
But that boy seemed freaked out more than him. Did he succeed in scaring him?
“YOU CAN SEE ME? REALLY? CAN YOU HEAR ME?" He suddenly shouted.
"You are insane! Stop shouting and leave me alone." Mingyu quickly opened the door, entered his house and slammed it shut. He locked all the latches and then leaned against it, shutting his eyes for a minute. He opened them after remembering Seungcheol and decided to call him to warn about the creepy boy on their floor but the sight in front caused him to shout and fall to the ground.
That boy was standing in his house.
“How did you get in?” He didn’t wait for an answer once he managed to pick himself up. All his instincts told him to run, so he ran until he was safely locked in the bedroom. Somehow, his stupid mind thought that hiding under the blanket would magically solve all problems.
But it was dark under the covers and he couldn’t hear any sound from outside. He slowly peeked out and witnessed the boy walk through his closed door as if it was some kind of portal.
He screamed. Again. This time he took himself in the bathroom and held the knob tight, “L..look…Do…do not cc..come in. P..lease.” His voice was shaking just like the rest of his body. His legs were numb and he was covered in sweat, about to pass out but too afraid to do so.
With one shaky hand, he pulled his phone out and called his brother. Thankfully he picked it up in one ring.
“Hello?”
“Hyung! HELP ME! Come home, now!”
While he was screaming for help, the boy, no, the ghost boy was speaking calmly from the other side, “Okay, I won’t come in. Will you at least listen to me from there? Look, I could come in if I wanted to but I have not. I would if you left me no option.”
Seungcheol was still on the call, worried sick from the lack of response. “Mingyu? Mingyu, Listen, I’m on my way, just stay safe until then, okay?”
Mingyu wanted to reply but he was busy shitting his pants. He held onto the doorknob with all his strength. He had never thought that he would encounter an actual ghost. He didn’t even believe in them. “Okay.” He finally said and cut the call without giving Seungcheol any further explanation.
He still held onto the doorknob, just in case and gathered some courage to speak, “Fine. Just don’t come in.”
“Look, it took me an entire day to figure out I was dead after I realised I was walking through walls all this time. What I am trying to say is that I am just as confused as you."
"But what does it have to do with me? Why are you following me?" Mingyu asked from the other side of the door.
"The first memory I have as a ghost is your birthday party. I just thought I was drunk and walked out but I couldn't remember anything about me and had nowhere to go. So after realising my situation, I returned to find out more about myself and heard your conversation at the staircase. It didn’t take me much time to put two and two together. I didn’t know you could see me all this time otherwise I would have approached you sooner.”
After hearing that, Mingyu walked out of the bathroom with hunched shoulders and defensive arms, still on guard. “Are you saying…a ghost…you are my soulmate?”
“It appears so,” the ghost boy shrugged and watched Mingyu lose it in the form of hysterical laughter.