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Loki's life on Midgard was good, and as time passed, he only grew to like it more.
He continued spending time with his shield-siblings, sparring and doing battle at each other's side; talking and laughing together.
As they shared accommodations - in the broadest sense, of course; they naturally had their own quarters - so did they share meals, jokes, and the thoughts weighing on their minds.
Loki's fondness for them only grew, and he really enjoyed their company. Even that of his oaf of a brother, though he would naturally never admit that to Thor himself. Even just the thought made his lip curl a little in mild disgust.
Loki liked the way things were. He could read and practice his seidr whenever he wished, could spend time with his shield-siblings - his friends - and fight to protect.
Here, Loki could do good. And he could do what he wanted.
Though he wasn't sure which of those was more satisfying, he relished both.
Loki would prank his shield-siblings, and delight in their laughter, grudging respect and answering tricks.
He would work with Anthony to improve their armor, combining their technological and magical skill to ensure their shield-siblings were best protected; and he prided himself on the brilliant results.
Loki loved the feeling of his body, free of pain, and a joy to use, whether that be for battle or simple small tasks. And though he still wasn't used to his appearance, and his blue skin and red eyes continued looking somewhat foreign to him ... he knew that one day, they wouldn't.
Loki wasn't sure when it had started - maybe it had been happening all along, and he simply hadn't noticed - but people looked at him.
Not in curiosity or simple fascination with his (for Midgard) rather unusual appearance. No, they were looks of attraction, desire, sometimes even lust.
It was particularly noticeable when they were on outings that required formal clothing. Even standing amongst his shield-siblings, Loki received his fair share of admiring glances, sometimes even propositions, which he naturally declined.
But Loki didn't only receive that kind of attention from strangers. Whenever they were dressed up for that sort of occasion, Anthony would look at him, and it would heat the very blood in Loki's veins; sending his heart racing. He figured that was only natural - Anthony was very attractive, after all.
Their admiration made him look at himself a little differently; consider his appearance from another perspective.
He had always known that he was handsome, of course. Though it had been easy to completely forget about that when all he could focus on upon looking in the mirror was the strangeness, the unfamiliarity of the image reflected.
But Loki started reconsidering ... and found that indeed: he was attractive. He could see the appeal of his vibrant red eyes, and vivid blue skin over his ever handsome features. Though his reflection still felt like a stranger to him, it was a very good-looking stranger.
It made him preen a little. It didn't exactly feel like himself, not yet, but he liked it.
Loki's skin was beautiful, it was his, and he began to wear it with pride.
It seemed as if each day, he became a little more used to his appearance. Each time he saw his reflection, it looked a little less foreign, a little more like him.
Loki had come a long way in his acceptance of it during his stay on Midgard - from tensing in alarm when he saw himself, to tolerance, and finally, ever increasing familiarity.
With every glimpse of himself, his mind grew more used to it. To linking his appearance with himself, and accepting it.
Time passed, and one day ... Loki looked in the mirror and it was him.
He froze, staring at himself in breathless awe. And his reflection stared back: not a monster, not a stranger. Only Loki.
His heart squeezed, relief and happiness buzzing in his chest, and making his eyes sting. Loki let out a wet laugh, a little disbelieving, and just looked at himself.
It was ... it was him.
He slowly raised a hand and reached out, fingertips touching those of his reflection. His other hand came up to lightly rest over his cheek, and as he felt it, so did he feel that his mind had accepted it; had accepted him.
Vision blurring slightly, he grinned at the mirror as his chest swelled with pure relief and joy.
And his reflection grinned back; blue, and happy, and nothing but Loki.
It was as if the last of the bonds constricting him had fallen away; as if his body could finally relax.
He felt like something inside him had uncurled, enabling him to stretch himself fully, and take up all the space he was meant to. He stood a little taller, held himself with more ease and confidence.
Now, seeing his reflection was, more than anything, likely to make him smile. Because it didn't seem foreign at all anymore, and all he could see was himself.
He liked it. So much.
It seemed to Loki as if somehow, his presence inside his body had grown, and finally reached his skin. And he felt it.
He felt every inch of it like it was his; a magnificent bridge to the outside world and protective mantle surrounding his insides. Sometimes he wondered how it could contain - just. All of it.
He felt present, powerful, alive. His every muscle and joint was his to move, his to control, and his body seemed to thrum with barely contained strength. It was so good. His seidr coursed through him, singing, exulting, as if exclaiming, 'yes!'
And every part of Loki's body that it flowed through responded, calling back in joy and pure elation. 'Yes!'
He had never felt anything like it before. It was exciting, exhilarating, overwhelming. It was so much, and so incredibly good, and Loki had never been this happy.
The appreciative looks he received only increased, and they even extended to the occasions where he wore an illusion to avoid attracting attention.
It was a little amusing, and quite flattering indeed.
Loki got more offers and attention to the point where he suspected it might become a little annoying sooner rather than later. Though he appreciated it, he much preferred to stay unbothered.
However, the increase in attention was helpful in one aspect, and it was almost ridiculous that Loki hadn't seen it before.
Anthony didn't look at him with only admiration, or simple lust. His gazes were different from all the others Loki received and he was a fool for not having realized it sooner.
Anthony ... Anthony looked at him with desire, yes. But also fondness. Something soft, that eased the heat and made it into pure warmth. His eyes gazed at Loki like he wanted him, not just his body, and the realization elevated his heartbeat and temperature to almost unsettling heights.
Anthony wanted him.
His friend - his brilliant, and kind, and funny, and simply incredibly attractive and all around wonderful friend wanted him.
Loki spent the next few days in somewhat of a daze; body overheating and mind shut down.
He tried studying Anthony discreetly, and found it to be rather obvious, now that he knew.
Though his friend tried to hide it where Loki could see - and was really quite good at it - his fondness bled through whenever he thought Loki unaware.
Soon, observing the man out of the corner of his eye seemed insufficient, and Loki started watching him with a spell.
And Norns, did he see.
Sometimes, Anthony would look at him with such yearning that it would curl Loki's insides; like the heat had burned them to a crisp. Anthony would smile, fondness tinged with sad longing, as if he thought Loki would never want him back. And Loki's heart hurt with it, at seeing his friend in pain.
It raised the question: did he want him back?
And something in him answered with such an enthusiastic, confident, 'Yes!' that he almost jumped at the force of it.
... well, that was ... a little bit of a surprise.
...
... though maybe, it shouldn't have been. It wasn't like he reacted to anyone else's gaze the way he did to Anthony's.
... alright, Loki was a fool.
Norns. It was downright embarrassing.
But now that he thought about it ... he would quite like to explore the possibilities of his and Anthony's relationship. Loki liked him, liked his mind and his manner, his touch.
He shuddered a little. Anthony's touch.
Just the thought of Anthony kissing him, of Anthony's hands on Loki, caressing places they never had before, made him feel close to burning.
Yes, he would ... he would very much like that. Very much.
...
Now how to go about it?
...
Anthony didn't seem like he would close their distance. In the last few days as Loki had observed him, he had been affectionate as usual, friendly pats and embraces given without showing even a hint of anything more. And when Loki 'wasn't looking', he would send him longing glances, a hopeless yet fond smile on his lips, as if he had long resigned himself to his affections being unrequited.
It made Loki wonder how long Anthony had felt this way. It made him want to press Anthony against a wall and kiss him breathless, until the last shred of doubt in his mind had been suffocated and erased.
... however ... if Anthony wouldn't close their distance, Loki would have to.
Norns be damned.
It made Loki regret his lack of romantic experience. Of course, he could seduce Anthony, but he didn't want him to think that he only wanted his body.
Loki would have to express himself.
... oh Norns. He didn't feel equipped for this at all. Maybe he should just ... give Anthony signs. Show him that the want was mutual, and make him come to Loki.
Loki tried. He really tried.
He stood closer, let his touches linger, made his affection for Anthony shine out of his smiles.
The effect it had on his friend was obvious - he very much noticed it. But he wouldn't do anything.
Though his secret glances started becoming confused, and at times hopeful, so there was progress.
But it was much too slow.
Now that Loki knew, now that Loki wanted ... he didn't want to wait.
It was almost excruciating.
They had been at another event this evening, where they had been formally dressed, and Anthony had looked at him again. And all of a sudden, Loki's patience had simply and completely evaporated.
The entire time, Loki had found his control hanging by a thread, only just managing to keep from walking up to Anthony and kissing him senseless in front of all the attendees.
But no. This was better done in private. Public displays could come later, once they had started courting and settled into their relationship.
And so Loki persevered, held himself back, until finally, they left. They returned to the tower, and Loki stayed on the elevator to accompany Anthony to his rooms.
His friend looked at him, smiling, "Up for another drink?"
Loki simply smiled back, and refrained from answering, as he didn't exactly want to accompany him for a drink.
The doors opened to his friend's rooms, and Anthony walked out, Loki taking a breath to bolster himself before following after him.
"Anthony", he called out, and something must have been in his voice, as the other man stopped in place on his way to the bar, and turned around. Anthony let out a questioning sound, looking at him with slightly lifted brows.
Loki arrived in front of him, and stood just a little too close for it to be a casual, friendly distance.
For an instant, doubt flashed in his mind, alongside worry about what would happen if he had been wrong, if Anthony didn't want him.
But no, Loki had seen it, clear as day and obvious as anything.
He wasn't blind.
… not anymore, at least.
After another moment to collect himself, he looked Anthony in the eyes and said, "I would like to kiss you."
And he saw them widen, hope and desire springing to life inside them. Anthony swallowed. "You would?", he asked hoarsely, voice slightly uneven.
It gave Loki the courage to raise his arm, wanting to cup the other's cheek, but found himself hesitating just before he made contact. Anthony grasped his hand, pressing it to his face and tilting his head into it slightly. Loki's heart melted at the fondness of the gesture, at the affection clear in Anthony's expression.
"Yes", he said, and caressed Anthony's cheek with his thumb. He was so warm, so - good. "Among other things."
A smile spread on Anthony's lips. "Like what?"
Loki released a trembling breath, and answered, "I would like to call you mine." His heart beat faster when Anthony's eyes darkened, and his hand tightened over his own. "I want to court you, Anthony." Loki wanted; was hot, almost breathless with it.
Anthony forced out a breath, and his other hand found Loki's side. "I'd love that", he quietly confessed, and as his lips said 'yes', his eyes urged, 'kiss me.'
And Loki followed their call, leaning downwards as Anthony rose up; letting their lips meet in the middle. He barely suppressed a moan. Though their kiss was gentle, and more of a greeting than an exchange, like they were getting used to their new distance of exactly nil, it was so much. Anthony's lips were soft on his, moving just a little in a way Loki could only describe as tender, and Loki hadn't known it could be like this.
Soon, they gently broke apart again, and Loki dazedly opened his eyes to look down at Anthony. His courted.
Anthony was gazing back, his smile one of pure affection, and Loki had never seen a sight so beautiful. It almost made him whine with need; want bursting and flooding his whole body, and he simply had to kiss him again.
Loki captured Anthony's lips anew, and his hand grasped the back of his head, holding him close, wanting him closer. Anthony pressed up, responding passionately, and the pure heat of him bled through into Loki. Their kiss deepened, tongues exploring and caressing each other, lips locked and keeping their light gasps and sounds of pleasure from escaping.
Anthony pulled him closer, both hands on his sides now, and Loki could only think 'yes'.
And 'not enough'.
There was too much fabric between Anthony's hands and him, and he stripped his jacket with his seidr. He felt the warmth of Anthony's hands, now that only his shirt separated them, but he still wanted more.
Loki let go of Anthony's head for a moment to grasp his hand and pull it around himself, telling him, 'Hold me tighter'.
And Anthony blissfully, perfectly, did.
He embraced Loki, arms tight and strong around him. His hands were splayed over Loki's back, pressing into it and holding him close, and Loki felt their heat like a brand. He shuddered, and moaned into the kiss, receiving an answering groan that made pleasure curl low in his body. He felt Anthony, and it was magnificent.
Hand back in Anthony's hair, he cradled his head as he kissed him, and kissed him, and continued kissing him. Until he couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't feel anything but Anthony.
Anthony was so hot. The inside of his mouth, his hands on Loki's back, the way he leaned into Loki and moved with him like he was mindless with want. And Loki could only return it, his mind long gone, burned to cinders by the heat blazing through his body. His heart was racing, pounding in his chest and his temples.
He was kissing Anthony.
Norns, this was - it was incredible. It was pure heat, passion heightened with affection. It was exhilarating, overwhelming; it was - too much.
Loki broke away with a gasp and let his forehead fall on Anthony's shoulder, his hands on him slightly unsteady. He continued holding him, one hand in his hair and the other on his back as he simply breathed, and let his pulse and body temperature slowly return to less alarming levels.
Anthony kept embracing him, and moved his hands soothingly on Loki's back. It helped in calming him, and Loki turned his head a little to press it against Anthony's neck.
He didn't know for how long they stayed like that. Loki's mind returned rather slowly, as he breathed deeply and basked in the warmth of Anthony's embrace.
"So I wasn't imagining it, huh", Anthony said softly, a note of wonder hiding in his obvious joy. Loki huffed, and held him a little tighter. "No", he answered.
Anthony hummed in return, and the sound was so happy, so quietly content, that it made Loki's eyes sting. He blinked, and forced out a breath, suddenly a little overwhelmed with relief that he had at last seen Anthony's feelings for him.
He didn't want to imagine how long it would've taken them to find each other if he hadn't.
...
But no matter. Loki had seen it, and they were finally together now. He smiled, chest warm with affection and joy, mirroring the warmth of Anthony's hands on him. Of Anthony's body against his, Anthony's arms holding him.
Loki let out a contented sigh. This felt so good.
Although it would likely take him a little while to get used to the sensations of Anthony touching him like that, he found he didn't much mind it. Most everything about his true form had taken a while to get accustomed to, and if it felt this good to simply hug Anthony close; it if felt this pleasurable to kiss him … Loki wasn't sure if he could even imagine how it would feel to be closer, to explore each other, to lay with him. He shivered a little.
Norns, he was looking forward to it.
Loki would gladly put his body in Anthony's hands. He had never felt like this when kissing or laying with anyone before; and he was certain that both his true skin and his affection for Anthony would make it a wonderful, incredible experience.
Loki would love it, just as he loved his body, just as he loved A- …
...
Well. Loki was a fool.
He smiled.
Just as he loved Anthony.