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English
Series:
Part 1 of The Serious Group Chat™️
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Published:
2023-06-20
Updated:
2026-02-13
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21,877
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25/?
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The Serious Group Chat™️

Summary:

Miguel: this is strictly for Spider Society work

Miguel: I don’t want any of you using it for anything else

 

Hobie Brown has renamed the chat The Serious Group Chat™️

Notes:

As always pop on over to tumblr @flaccid-rats and say hi!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Miguel O’Hara had added Peter B. Parker, Miles Morales , and 4 others to a chat 

Miguel O’Hara has named the chat Work Related Things

Miguel: this is strictly for Spider Society work

Miguel: I don’t want any of you using it for anything else 

Hobie Brown has renamed the chat The Serious Group Chat™️

Miguel: Hobert I swear to god

Peter B: idk what else you were expecting Mig

 

 

The Serious Group Chat™️

Gwen: why isn’t Jess in this chat?

Miguel: because she’s on maternity leave and I’m not going to make her deal with your crap on top of a baby 

Pavitr: understandable 

 

 

The Serious Group Chat™️

Margo : why am I here? I don’t go on active missions with you guys and I don’t really want to. I’ve seen the reports

Margo : no offense

Miles: none taken

Miguel: you’re here to keep me sane

Miguel: and to help coordinate missions because god only knows why these four don’t listen to me half the time 

Hobie: truly one of life’s great mysteries

Peter B: Miguel do I mean nothing to you 

Miguel: you mean a lot of things to me

Gwen: I can’t tell if that was a threat or not

 

 

The Serious Group Chat™️

Miles : why did you even make this group chat?

Miles: I’m still a little lost on that

Miguel: because for some reason unknown to me it’s easier to get a hold of you four through your phone than it is with the actual literal communication device that’s in your watch

Gwen: yeah okay let me just pull up a hologram of Mr. Big Tall and Scary in the middle of class. That won't freak anyone out 

Miles: are you nuts? Do you know the school I go to? My classmates would tear that thing apart if they saw it

Pavitr : have YOU ever tried to discreetly answer a hologram call? Do you know how hard that is?? 

Hobie: yeah I’ve just been straight up ignoring you mate

Peter B : I can hear you sighing Mig 

Peter B: do you want to hold Mayday

Miguel: please

 

 

Message from Miles Morales to Gwen Stacy

Miles: am I going crazy?

Miles: tell me I’m not going crazy

Gwen : you’re not going crazy

Gwen: why do you think you’re going crazy?

Miles: I swear that there’s something going on between Peter and Miguel

Miles: like a feelings sort of something 

Gwen:

Gwen: I take it back

Gwen: you are going crazy

 

 

The Serious Group Chat™️

Miles: before anyone says anything

Miles: it wasn’t my fault

Miguel: Miles. 

Miles: it wasn’t!

Miles: I don’t control what comes out of those weird holes Spot left behind

Miles: and you can’t even be mad because everything all worked out with minimal property damage 

Miles : which is really impressive with a Rhino variant, actually 

Miguel : Miles, you cracked your ribs. You need to come back to headquarters and have someone look you over

Miles: oh

Pavitr: I’ll go get him :) 

 

 

Message from Miles Morales to Pavitr Prabhakar

Miles: Gwen thinks I’m going crazy but I swear I’m not

Pavitr : why does Gwen think you’re going crazy?

Pavitr: and why are you texting me? We’re literally sitting right next to each other

Miles: look at Peter and Miguel

Pavitr: okay? 

Pavitr: what am I supposed to be looking for? 

Miles: Miguel’s got his hand on Peter’s back

Miles: like. Really low on his back

Miles: not at all platonic levels of low

Miles: why are you laughing

Miles: Pav stop laughing before Miguel comes over here

Pavitr: are you sure you didn’t get a concussion too? 

Miles: I hate you

Pavitr: Peter is married, last I checked

Miles: That doesn’t hold as much weight as you think it does

Pavitr: do you think Peter is cheating on Mary Jane? Is that what you’re trying to get at?

Miles: no I’m pretty sure MJ knows

Pavitr: … I’m calling Miguel over there’s no way you don’t have a concussion

Miles: DON’T YOU DARE

 

 

The Serious Group Chat™️

Miguel: All five of you are going home for the weekend. I’m not giving you any missions so don’t even ask.

Margo: five???

Hobie: ouch

Margo: why????

Miguel: because I need a break from teenagers

Miguel: and Miles’ ribs are still healing

Pavitr: so you ground all of us because Miles was being stupid?

Miles: hey

Miguel: yes

Miguel: because if I send one of you on a mission then all of you try to go and I am not going to explain to Miles’ mother that her son cracked a rib again because you all have separation anxiety 

Gwen: you’re the one that decided to make yourself our team supervisor 

Miguel: and I’ve regretted every second of it

Peter B: no you don’t

Peter B: oh before I forget 

Peter B: what do you want for dinner 

Miguel: get what you two want. I’m not hungry 

Peter B: not hungry as in “spider brain isn’t hungry” 

Peter B : or not hungry as in “I feel sick and don’t want to eat” 

Miguel: first one

Peter B : are you lying to me

Miguel: no 

Peter B.: because if you’re lying to me

Miguel: I promise I’m not lying to you 

Miles: what





Miles Morales has added Hobie Brown, Gwen Stacy, Margo Kess and Pavitr Prabhakar to a chat 

Miles Morales has named the chat ??????

Miles: if I’m not crazy

Miles : then what the FUCK was that