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Soap wouldn't consider himself to be a heavy sleeper, can't really afford to be with the job, but when he's in a bed and he knows he's safe, he does tend to sleep a bit heavy.
But that's not what he's doing now. Something has woken him up and it only takes him a few seconds to realize the cause. His bed is shaking. Not a lot. Not enough to be coming from anywhere besides the other person in the bed.
He quickly rolls into his side so he can see Simon, and when he does his heart feels heavy in his chest. In the small amount of light coming in through the window he can see tear tracks down Simon's temple and the tense lines of his jaw. The muscles in his neck bulging. He's so tense in fact, he's trembling. Trembling enough to shake the bed. Enough to wake up Soap.
Soap shuffles closer with a whisper of Simon's name, but the man in question doesn't respond. The only way Soap knows that he's been heard is the slight hitch in Simon's heaving breaths. The breathing comes back heavier and faster and Soap swears he can see the rising panic in Simon's eyes even in the darkness of the room.
The thing is though, that despite Soap's overwhelming urge to help, he doesn't know what's wrong. Doesn't know what to do. He's never seen Simon in such a state before and he tries to keep his own fear under control as he props himself up on an elbow and looks down at the man next to him.
"Simon, can I touch you?" The question can only just be heard above Simon's ragged, quick breaths. He waits for a response, and after what feels like an eternity, but is probably closer to a minute, he gets one.
Simon's eyes close causing more tears to spill down his temples, but he opens them almost immediately and makes eye contact with Soap. Simon's eyes, slowly filling with more tears, are begging Soap for help. It's not verbal, but it spurs him into action anyway.
His hand immediately finds Simon's jaw and starts massaging, trying to help unclench the muscle there. When he feels the muscle give, even if it is the faintest amount, he expands his ministrations to the rest of Simon's head and neck.
Simon, when Soap's eyes wander from his task, once again has his eyes closed. His tears get trapped in his lashes before they find their way with the rest down the side of his face. Soap wants to move on, wants to help relieve the tension in other parts of the body below him, but the still falling tears and the tight clench of Simon's jaw worries him. Simon could damage his teeth if the tension isn't released.
Soap is more concerned for the other man as a whole, because he still doesn't know what is causing Simon such discomfort, but he knows that Simon, if he had a choice, would try to ensure the integrity of his teeth.
Simon always made sure that his teeth were clean. Soap knew the man carried a travel toothbrush in his kit and would use it twice a day if he could, or as soon as possible if things were too hectic or unsafe. Soap had just chalked it up as another quirk of his Lieutenant. He even made jokes about it every so often and never received any sort of comment or acknowledgment in return.
It wasn’t until after they started sleeping together that Soap found out the truth. Simon told Soap once, in an early morning where they were brushing their teeth side by side, about why he seemed almost compulsive in his care for his teeth. Memories of his father's gap toothed smile as he was taunted. Teeth carelessly tossed aside after falling out at the dinner table. Growing up with dreams of his teeth falling out, choking on a scream while waking up, the phantom sensation of his mouth filled with blood.
Soap was sure that the stories weren't the only reason for Simon's habits, if the far off look in his eyes as he finished talking was any sort of indicator, but he hadn’t pushed, and instead had made a comment about him having a nice smile. The remark had earned him an eye roll and a hand to the face. Things had devolved from there into flirting and wrestling, and Soap remembers the morning fondly despite the things that he had learned.
It's with all this in mind that Soap returns to working the muscle in Simon's jaw. After a minute of intense focus he feels the muscle give, and he watches as Simon's eyes snap open, tears falling faster now, as he lets out a gasp.
“Please.”
“Please, what, Simon? How can I help you,” Soap is almost over Simon at this point, gently holding his face as he rubs his thumbs under Simon’s eyes. “Tell me, love. I’ll do anything.”
Simon doesn’t respond beyond more whispered pleas and Soap feels his heart lurch. He feels his heart break for this man who has suffered so much and who continues to suffer. He leans over and brushes kisses to his love’s forehead and cheeks.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ll take care of you,” Soap doesn’t know what’s wrong exactly, but he does know that Simon needs him, and if that isn’t enough to spur Soap back into action then nothing is.
He needs better leverage for what he has in mind, and so he goes to stand, turning his back to Simon. He only makes it about a foot, before the man lets out a sob of, “Johnny, please.”
He turns his neck so rapidly he feels a twinge of pain, but nothing compares to the absolute torture it is to see Simon’s face turned towards him, eyes overflowing with tears, body tense, and still trembling .
Soap foregoes leaving the bed and instead crawls over, positioning himself on his knees above Ghost, careful not to touch or jostle him unnecessarily. With extreme care, and his heart in his throat, Soap begins to run his hands in sweeping motions across the torso beneath him.
He's never been more thankful that they both sleep shirtless, because if Soap had to remove a shirt or give a massage through a shirt, things would be a lot more difficult. Soap wishes a bit selfishly that he hadn't woken up to his partner in such a state. Wishes, not for the first time, there was some sort of instruction manual on how to take care of Simon Riley.
It's because loving him is so easy , he thinks. If taking care of the ones that you loved was easy, then no one would ever put in the effort .
Simon is worth all the effort, and more.
The pleas and gasps from the other man have quieted down, but haven't stopped completely. Each one is like a knife to the heart and Soap thinks that he might start crying himself if they don't stop soon. Seeing the one you love suffer is now number one for Worst Ways to Wake Up.
"Shhh," he attempts to sooth, "it's okay. Everything is going to be okay."
Soap repeats this a couple of times before moving on to other phrases. He doesn't even know what he's saving after a time, just continuous words of comfort breathed into the air between them.
If he's honest with himself, and why shouldn't he be in a situation like this, the words are just as much for himself as they are for Simon. He knows that tomorrow, or later today depending on the time, he's going to have a proper freak out, preferably with some sort of explanation, but for now he needs to do what he can to remain calm and present for Simon.
Soap keeps up with the task at hand, trying not to focus on any one part of the body. He massages everywhere he can get his hands on, even shuffling down so he can reach Simon's legs. Little by little the trembling abates and tension bleeds out, but Simon is still awake and crying.
Luckily, though, he also appears half asleep. The sight allows Soap to relax, deflating almost at the relief that he feels. The tears that he had been fighting finally break free when Simon manages a small smile. Then, like the bastard he is, Simon falls asleep, leaving Soap wound up and crying.
Soap, carefully as to not wake the now sleeping man next to him, flops over so he's laying on his side. He wants to cuddle, wants to reassure himself that Simon is alright, but more than anything he wants Simon to rest. Wants him to recover from whatever woke them both up. So he settles on shuffling as close to the other man as he can without touching and wills himself to fall back asleep.
His tears haven't stopped, and they're both probably going to wake up in the morning feeling the effects of dehydration, but for now Soap gets to do his number one favorite thing: fall asleep next to Simon Riley knowing the man is safe and free from pain.