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Kokichi was having a shit day.
He had woken up late due to his alarm clock very rudely breaking and not blaring it's stupid beeping earlier, and had to rush to get to class. He usually wouldn't particularly care about getting to class on time, but he's been making sure to keep his attendance in order so he could see his beloveds (see: crushes) more. In fact, he was especially excited to see them today because they always cheered him up so well!! Plus, it's his birthday, so it'll be extra special. Even if he may or may not have not told anyone about it…
But it's fine! He didn't like celebrating his birthday much anyways. The only people who could ever make his birthday feel special was DICE, and of course they're not here, so there's no point. Kokichi doesn't mind keeping that itty bitty detail from his classmates. He was perfectly content acting like it was the same as any other day! Yeah, a normal day where he was just feeling super duper affectionate.
Except, when Kokichi finally made it to the classroom, thankfully arriving before their homeroom teacher, Kokichi realized that it was not in fact a normal day. Because in the classroom full of his classmates that paid his late and quiet entrance no mind, three of the seats he was looking forward to seeing filled were completely empty, and a quick scan of the room showed no signs of Kaede, Kaito, or Ryoma. Two of the most punctual students, and someone who'd come to school even if he was running a 109 fever, only missing school if the world was ending.
He stalked over to where Shuichi and Maki were making small talk. Well, where Shuichi was making small talk while Maki listened and occasionally answered with a quick hum or nod. When he was finally spotted by the assassin, she glared at him, and Shuichi greeted him politely, just as they always did.
"Good morning Ouma-kun. How are you?" he asked, ever so politely. Really, he couldn't make it more clear that he wasn't welcome. Of course, Kokichi didn't really care, and he didn't want to be there either, so he got straight to the point.
"Do you know where Momo-chan is? Or Aka-chan or Hoshi-chan? I seem to have misplaced them, and as the Ultimate Detective and Momo-chan's bestest friend in the whole wide world, I am enlisting your help to find them!!" he exclaimed, even making himself extra approachable so Shuichi would help him!! He even refrained from insulting his twink ass! Shuichi only shook his head though, looking a little nervous, as usual when Kaito wasn't there to boost his miniscule ego.
"Ah, I haven't seen any of them since yesterday.. Sorry, but I can't be much help right now. They're probably just running a little late" Shuichi suggested, before turning back to Maki for backup, just as he always did, even when Kaito was already there to do so for him. It was almost as if he had a massive burning crush on her! Oh wait. He does. And he was so oblivious to it, it almost made Kokichi want to puke. He didn't of course, cause that's gross, but still. Shuichi is pathetic.
"Are you going to quit staring or do you wanna die?" Maki shot Kokichi another glare and he backed away with his arms innocently in the air. "Jeez sorry to bother, Harumaki-chan!! It was a pleasure chatting with you Saihara-chan!!!" He gave them a little wave before dramatically turning on his heel and skipping away to lean against his desk. It looks like he'll have to solve this mystery on his own. He checked his phone to see if he had received any texts, but came up with nothing. He quickly shot a couple texts their way, and shoved his phone in his pocket while he awaited responses.
Thankfully, Hinata seemed to be running very late, so Kokichi had plenty of time to go weed out some more info from his classmates. Hmm. Out of everyone present, who might have seen his three beloveds. He tapped his chin, squinting as he scanned the room, before his eyes landed on Kirumi. Of course!! She always came extra early to make sure whoever was on cleaning duty last had cleaned up properly, and she stayed up super late fixing up the dorms!! Of course their beloved class rep of all people would know where their missing classmates ran off to!
Kokichi quickly approached her, and when she caught eye of him, he received a weirdly calm smile..
"Goooood morning Mom-chan!! To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked with an award winning smile that could match even that of one of those white american actors with too-short hair and just enough stuble to look hot, but not messy. Truly, he should enter into a smiling competition. He could win some good money.
"Didn't you walk over here Ouma-kun? I was under the impression that you had something you wished to request from me," she said, an amused grin spread across her face. It was much different than the usual exasperated look she had on whenever she was talking with Kokichi. Weird. She's up to something..
"Well my dearest Mom-chan, I used my spider-senses to tell that you clearly were in desperate need of my company, and how could I ever ignore you like that!!" Kokichi explain dramatically, before wobbling his lip a little and pouting, "Do- do you not think I care about you Mom-chan?" he sniffled, and his eyes teared up, ready to spill the crocodile tears the moment Kirumi became agitated.
But that didn't happen. Instead she simply smiled at him and fished a small bag of candy out of her apron pocket, "There is something I wished to tell you actually. Happy birthday Ouma-kun" she said quietly, gently taking on of Kokichi's hands and placing the small bag into it, still giving him that dumb knowing smile. Kokichi stared at the bag for a moment, smiling a little to himself, before shaking his head and regaining composure.
"Wait a damn minute who told you? Was it Hinata-chan? That snitch- How many other people—" Kokichi was quickly cut off by Kirumi giggling a little. Giggling!! At his misery!!
"Apologies for laughing Ouma-kun, but you do not have to worry. Nobody else knows. I did some research on everyone to be sure that I would be able to serve you all to the best of my ability, and that research included finding out birthdays to celebrate. I figured that since you weren't making a big deal of it, you did not want others knowing, so I didn't tell anyone" she reassured. God Kokichi hated when she acted like a responsible class rep.
"Whatever. I have more important matters to attend to anyways- Oh yeah!! Have you by any chance seen where my beloveds have gone? I can't find them anywhere, and they aren't responding instantly to my texts like good little subordinates!!" Kokichi complained dramatically. Although, there was a bit of anxiety growing in his gut. The phone in his pocket weighed him down heavily, and he was all to aware of the lack of a buzz indicating he had gotten a text. He subconsciously began chewing on his nail, an old nervous habit he never seemed to be able to break. What if something had happened to them? What if they were kidnapped for ransom, or murdered while on their way home? What if they skipped town, leaving him behind and planning to never contact him ever again, or—
"..ma-kun? Ouma-kun? Can you hear me?"
Kokichi snapped out of his mini spiral at the sound of Kirumi calling his name. He quickly plastered on a wide grin, "All is well Mom-chan!! I was just planning my revenge on a rival gang that ruthlessly murder Sir Ducksworth, my beloved second in comand!!" he smiled a sinister smile, which only made Kirumi relax, as if he wasn't being fucking terrifying right now. Jeez, tough crowd.
"If you say so Ouma-kun. Before you spaced out, I was saying that I have in fact seen them. If by your beloveds you mean Akamatsu-san, Momota-kun, and Hoshi-kun" Kokichi instantly perked up at the news. They were okay!! Probably..
"Yes yes go on!! I haven't got all day!!" he said a little too excitedly. Kirumi didn't mention it though, and continued as prompted, "Last night I saw the three of them, and I was intending on informing them of the occasion today, when a group of 10 or so people all dressed oddly grabbed them and ran off. It was hard to see many of their features, and they had a very large variety of looks, but I do recall that they all wore different clown masks. It was very strange. One of them, this small girl with pigtails, came up to me and asked me to inform you of this, but I'm afraid it slipped my mind until you brought them up. My apologies."
Kokichi gaped at Kirumi. Surely she was joking. There's no way that they would kidnap his lovers.. right? Could it have been a different group of 10 or so people, all with a large variety of looks, but all wearing their own individual clown masks? And- Wait a damn minute, "Mom-chan how the fuck did a bunch of clowns kidnapping three of your classmates slip your mind?"
Kirumi only shrugged and gave a small knowing smile. Oh that bitch. She was totally in on whatever this was. Kokichi took a deep breath, before turning on his heel and stomping out of the classroom, "Tell Hinata that I died and won't be able to make it to class today" he hollered back to Kirumi, which received a small "Will do" in return.
Kokichi groaned as he sped walk through the school, out the gates, across the street, and into the large city nearby, paving the familiar pathway to the secret hideout of the organization that earned him his title. Because now that he thinks about it, of course they would pull a stunt like this on his birthday. They were an enthusiastic bunch, and wouldn't miss something like this even if he was halfway across the world.
Kokichi sighed as he finally finished his 20 minute walk, climbed up the steps of the abandoned apartment complex, and stood in front of the door with the word DICE scrawled on in purple paint marker with little yellow stars doodles around it. He knocked out their little secret tune (which was actually just the beat of the Hot Dog song from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse) and tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the door to open.
He heard some shuffling and whispering, as well as a bit of giggling from who he would guess was Megumi, before the door was cracked open, the the pigtailed girl in question stared at him through the crack, a giddy smile prevalent on her face.
"Well hello there b-boss! Whatever are you doing here? Don't you- have school right now?" she asked between giggles, clearly trying and failing at keeping a straight face. Kokichi raised an eyebrow, and she burst into laughter. Clowns. Of course, he couldn't stay mad at her for long, and cracked an itsy bitsy smile of his own. He continued to glare at her though. He couldn't be mad forever, but he sure as hell could be annoyed.
He opened the door further and walked into the pitch black room. The door slammed shut and locked behind him, and before he could react, he was being picked up by most likely Takumi and Ryuuji, the two biggest and strongest members of DICE. They held him up high, balancing him on a shoulder each, and he yelped as they suddenly dropped him onto a chair. "Guys what're you planning? What the hell's going on—" he tried to ask, but he was quickly cut off by a pie to the face. Wow. What a classic.
When he peeled the pie from his face though, the lights had been turned on, and after a quick wiping of whipped cream from his eyes, he got a facefull of smiles and an earful of "Happy Birthday Boss!!" from his 9 companions.
He had been sat at their large dining table, right in the middle, and all the members of DICE had gathered around him with confetti poppers in hand. Directly in front of him was a giant, clearly homemade, cake with the words "Haqqy B-day Bos!!" written in purple icing. The cake was 2 tiers, and while spelling could have used a bit of work, the decorations were perfect. Little black squares neatly placed to create a checkered pattern on the white frosting, bright red candles lining the top of the first layer, flickering little flames dancing on each one, and a little clown mask was carefully placed on top of the second. It looked like it was made for a baby.
"What's all this guys?" Kokichi giggled out. He couldn't help but feel a little giddy after all the work his family put into this. Yomiko came up from beside him and silently grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the chair, earning another little yelp from him, and dragged him over to another corner of the room where a giant white present box with a big red bow on top sat innocently. She pushed him forward a little and pointed at the box. "Open" she demanded. Kokichi warily glanced at the box, and his conversation with Kirumi came flooding back. He had a feeling he knew what, or who, was in there.
Before he could approach it though, something hit the wall facing him from inside, causing everyone to take a step back. It hit again, and Ryuuji bravely walked over beside it and raised the lid of the box, causing all the sides fall to the ground, and none other than the Luminary of the Stars himself fell out and toppled to the ground, yelping as he hit the floor. Kaede and Ryoma stood behind him in shock, before the two caught sight of Kokichi and smiled warmly.
"Happy birthday Ouma-kun!!" Kaede said as she stepped over Kaito's body and headed toward Kokichi, before giving him a big hug, "Why didn't you tell us today was your big day?!" she asked, a wide excited smile plastered onto her face. Ryoma stood behind her and gave him a little nod of the head, "Happy birthday Ouma. Sorry we didn't get you anything. We were kinda kidnapped" he said, calm as ever as he chewed on his little candy cigarette.
Kaito groaned as he got up, regaining his bearings and catching sight of Kokichi with a baffled look, "Hey!! How did you guys know it was his birthday if he didn't tell you?!" he exclaimed. Kaede giggled, not turning to face him, but still rolling her eyes and giving a fond smile, "You didn't hear his little friends saying happy birthday to him?" she asked teasingly.
"Well- I uh- I was busy trying to break us out!! No thanks to you.." Kaito huffed, but quickly dropped the frown and replaced it with a wide smile of his own, "If you had told us sooner I would've gotten you a gift Ouma, you little gremlin!!" he walked over to Kokichi's side and gave his hair a little ruffle, which Kokichi decided not to swat away because. Reasons. Yeah.
"Happy birthday boss!!" Kokichi heard Megumi come up behind him, "We got you those crushes of yours over here so you could finally tell them of your undying love for them!!" she exclaimed excitedly. Kokichi's face instantly heated up, and the rest of DICE looked at the four of them expectantly.
Kokichi blinked staring at DICE, then at his classmates, who stared right back, all equally as red. Well, Ryoma was only a little red. But Kaede and Kaito were burning up like a tomato. Kaede continued smiling, a little too wide for comfort, and Kaito looked between everyone, utterly confused, before shouting, "You like us?!"
"I uh—" Kokichi began sweating nervously, looking to DICE for help, but they all just nodded at him with wide smiles, urging him on. Assholes… In his greatest time of need they were all lounging about and leaving him hanging like a flopping fish on a ho—
"Why didn't you say so sooner?!" Kaede exclaimed, before pulling him into a big bear hug, "ACK—"
Kaito ruffled his hair again, smiling once more, "We were scared you wouldn't wanna be with us you little punk! With all how much you try and bother us, you would've thought you hated our guts!" he laughed.
"You- I- What??" Kokichi questioned while Kaede squeezed his lungs out. Ryoma walked over to his other side and poked his hip, "Momota told us he liked me and Akamatsu after class yesterday, and we all agreed that we wanted to ask you out later today. Would've done it this morning if we hadn't been kidnapped" he explained, and Kokichi just sputtered as Kaede gently set him down, grabbing his face and giving his cheek a big smooch.
"Yup!! Who could've known we'd all have a crush on the same people?" she giggled.
Kokichi just stared at all of them, red as a tomato, while Megumi whined behind him, "So all our efforts were for nothing?? They were gonna be all mushy without us?!!"
Kaede cooed at the little girl and rushed over, taking her mush smaller hands in her own, "Hey don't be upset!! This was a wonderful surprise for your leader, and this setting seems much more special than our classroom back at school!! You did a great job uhh.."
Megumi perked up and smiled, "Subordinate #4!! But you can call me Megumi!!" she exclaimed.
"Well you did you're boss proud Megumi-san! Right Ouma-kun?"
Kokichi broke out of his trance and turned around to his anxiously waiting gang. Kokichi paused for a moment. They kidnapped his classmates, and exposed his birthday to them, as well as got Kirumi in on it. They made him walk 20 minutes and miss class. They made him talk to Shuichi and Maki! Willingly!
.. But they also put a lot of work into throwing him an amazing birthday. Kokichi raised a hand to his cheek where Kaede pecked him, and smiled. He couldn't stay mad forever, and apparently he couldn't even stay mad at them for a full hour.
"You have all done your leader very proud!!" he exclaimed, and his gang— his family all smiled, and they gathered around, pulling him and his new partners into a big fat group hug. Kokichi giggled— which turned into outright laughter at Kaito's surprised yelp, and hugged his family right back.
Kokichi decided that he was not having a shit day, and he was in fact having a good one. A great one even! Because he was spending his birthday with the people he loved most.
He was gonna have to thank Kirumi for the candy later.
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