Chapter Text
When the world gets too heavy, put it on my back,
I will be your levy,
You are taking me apart, like bad glue,
On a get well card
Loki could barely stumble through the next Timedoor, holding a hand against his ribs, where he had been hit by the sharp end of a Time Stick.
At the very least, he had to be grateful to have been struck by the sharp end, and not the other. Still, it was uncomfortable, and combined with all the other various injuries he'd managed to sustain, it likely wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
He'd been through countless versions of this entrance. As he stepped through the door and it phased shut behind him, walking stiffly out into another perfect copy of the Time Variance Authority that he had hated so much, but yet was desperate to find again now.
He didn't think he could manage another fight. Physically, he could probably force himself to survive. The first TVA, the variant Mobius and B-15 had been friendly. They'd believed he was an analyst, like Mobius, and had never worried that he might be a variant himself. After some convincing, they'd handed him a TemPad, and before he had left, he'd grabbed a Time Stick of his own, so that he wouldn't be without a weapon. It had been too close a call during the audience with the Time Keepers, when he'd tried to fight off Minutemen with nothing but his bare hands.
B-15 couldn't bother to find the daggers she'd taken from him, but she'd brought Sylvie her -
Loki didn't want to think about Sylvie. She was beside the point. The point was that physically, he knew he could keep winning fights. He had never been the best fighter on Asgard, but he could hold his own against Minutemen.
The problem was, physical fighting wasn't what was putting a toll on him. He was exhausted. He was reeling from what had happened in the Citadel.
All he had learned, all he had seen, all that had happened.
He didn't know if he had it in him to face one more betrayal. It wasn't real, they didn't know him in those realities, but in the first few TVAs he had tried, he had run for Mobius as fast as he could.
It was lucky for Loki that the analyst was not a skilled combatant in any reality.
What wasn't lucky was that after the fight in the Citadel, Loki couldn't make himself raise a weapon against another person he considered a friend, much less actually injure any version of Mobius. Activating the Time Stick and pruning Mobius was utterly unthinkable.
And the whole while he faced TVA after TVA, the true threat had loomed over him. Sometimes in the statues and imagery, sometimes it was back to the stupid space lizards, but Loki always knew it was there.
The true threat was He Who Remains. Loki could have sworn he had seen that very man, or some version of him, a couple of times while he fought or ran to escape another wrong TVA.
He saw a flash of movement from the corner of his eye, and for about the millionth time that… day? Week? He didn't know how long he had been searching for the former Sacred Timeline's TVA, and it was impossible to gauge from a world that existed entirely outside of time, anyways, he cursed the fact that there was no magic in the TVA. He whirled around to face the unwelcome host, immediately recognising her to be Hunter B-15. He pointed the Time Stick at her, taking a defensive stance. His right knee threatened to buckle under him, and he cursed the Minuteman about six realities ago who had forgone honour and tried to sweep his leg. Loki had kept his feet, but now, aggravated and bruised, the joint was giving him trouble.
"Hey now, Loki, stay calm," B-15 said, reaching for something at her belt.
It should have been enough that she recognised him, but it wasn't. Loki had faced this same situation and come face to face in combat with this very hunter too many times for him to simply trust her.
"Keep your hands up!" He ordered. She gazed at him, clearly concerned.
"I'm just gonna call Mobius -"
"So you can get the jump on me? No. If you know where Mobius is, take me to him."
B-15 contemplated that. "Fine."
She moved to take the lead, and Loki took a step back at the same time. "Time Collar and Time Stick. Hand them over."
"Are you nuts?"
"Hand them over!"
"I'm not giving you my weapons. You drop yours, and I'll drop mine."
Loki didn't say anything. He kept the sharp edge of the stick level and pointed at B-15.
"What is going on here?"
He heard the voice behind him and immediately took a step back so he could get both the hunter and the newcomer in his peripheral vision. A hot lump formed in his throat, maybe fear, maybe hope, when he saw the second person approach him.
He didn't carry a Time Stick. In his hands were a TemPad and a collection of TVA files. His tan suit was creased and wrinkled, as though he had not changed it in several days, his silver-grey hair was similarly mussed. "Loki! Why are you threatening B-15?" Mobius demanded.
"He's acting real paranoid, Mobius, maybe you should stay away," B-15 warned. Mobius completely ignored her, taking a few more steps towards Loki, shortening the gap between them to an unbearable, unacceptable limit. Loki readjusted his stance, keeping the blade of the Time Stick between himself and Mobius, trying not to let his hands shake so badly that the agent would be able to tell he would never manage to use the weapon against him.
"What's going on, Loki, tell me what's wrong," Mobius said, keeping his voice calm and even, like he was speaking to a frightened animal. "We've been searching for you since I got back from the Void, where have you been?"
"Don't come any closer," Loki warned.
"Alright, I won't. Tell me what's going on, Loki."
"What Timeloop did you put me in, Mobius?" Loki demanded.
"I don't see how that's important now, Loki -"
"Tell me!"
Mobius sighed. "I stuck you in with Lady Sif, after you cut off her hair. She slapped you in the face, insulted you, kneed you in the groin and then punched you. Might have been a bit overkill on my part, probably could have found you a bad memory with less -"
"And what did you call me, before you threw me in there?" Loki asked, cutting him off. "What sort of a folksy, dopey insult did you come up with?"
Mobius frowned. "I didn't come up with anything, I just called you an asshole and a bad friend. Will you explain to me what is going on?"
"One last question," Loki forced himself to say, even though he wanted to accept Mobius as the real Mobius already, but he needed to make sure. "What are you going to do to the TVA?"
"Burn it to the ground," Mobius replied, "now please -"
Loki dropped the Time Stick, his fingers going numb with relief. "It's you," he managed to say, taking a few staggering steps back. "It's really you."
His back hit the stone wall and he let it take much of his weight, he took several gasping, deep breaths which stung the cut on his ribs. "I found you."
"You've been looking for us, like we've been looking for you," Mobius said, "can you tell us what happened? I know we said we would burn the place to the ground, but I wasn't expecting quite so many branches at once and once they were there I couldn't -"
"It was impossible to know where we were compared to the other timelines. I know," Loki managed to say.
"And what about Sylvie? Is she with you?"
"She -"
Loki's voice died in his throat.
"Loki, is she okay?"
"I - I don't know," he managed to say, "we met Him. The one behind all of this. The one in the Citadel at the End Of Time. He - he offered us control. He said -"
"Wait, he offered you control of the Timeline and you turned it down?"
"Yes - no - I - not really? I thought we should think about it because the alternative - the alternative was much, much worse. But Sylvie - she wouldn't even think about it, she said he was a liar and assumed I wanted the throne but I didn't, Mobius, I just wanted her - us all to be safe."
"Slow down, Loki," Mobius said patiently, "you can tell us all the details later, when you're a bit more calm, okay? Does someone need to go and look for Sylvie, or is she safe?"
"She betrayed me," Loki said slowly, "she threw me out of the Citadel and she killed the one man who could stop multiversal war. I don't care if she's safe."
He wanted to sound angry, but his own voice just seemed anguished to him.
"Okay. That's fine, you haven't got to care if she's safe right now, I'm just glad you are. Loki, can we get someone to take a look at you? Make sure you're not hurt too badly?" Mobius glanced over at B-15. "B, could you go and make sure there's an open bed in the Med Ward, if Loki wants it?"
Hunter B-15 eyed Loki once more. "You're feeling… less stabby?" She asked pointedly, cocking an eyebrow.
Loki only spared her the slightest of glances, before turning his focus back to Mobius, his ally and friend Mobius, the one he'd searched countless timelines for and finally found. The agent's clear blue eyes sparkled and his lips quirked into a smile. "Loki's not a threat to me," he said, with all the brazen confidence of a man who knew he was telling a bald-faced lie, which Loki supposed Mobius was doing. "He's just a little pussycat, not a dangerous variant. Besides, aren't we all technically dangerous variants?"
Mobius chuckled at his own joke, but B-15 didn't laugh. "I'll be back as soon as I've checked in with Med Ward," she said, "be careful, Mobius."
She walked away.
"I'm not going to hurt you," Loki said quietly, staring down at Mobius. "She doesn't need to worry."
"I know," Mobius agreed, "and deep down, she does too. She's just being cautious. You did swing a Time Stick at us both, are you ready to tell me what that's all about?"
Loki gave a humourless laugh. "Not all your variants are as friendly and trusting as you are. I - I don't even know how many timelines I searched, hoping I would find the right one -"
"You found variant timelines of the TVA? And variants of all of us agents?"
Loki nodded. "Dozens. Maybe hundreds. I - I lost track of how many, I lost track of how long I was looking, I just knew I had to find this one."
Mobius took a well-deserved moment to process what Loki had just told him. "We've been looking for you, too, Loki," he said, "B-15 and Casey and I. I realised after I came here that I had no way of getting back to you two, no way of checking to see how things went. But we've been trying to isolate where you were. If you were jumping around, that probably explains why we couldn't pin down which timeline you were in."
Loki didn't say anything. Without another word, Mobius held his arms out to him.
"What -"
"If anyone, including you, asks, I needed a hug," Mobius said, "it obviously wasn't you who needed it, you're a tough guy. Come here."
If he really wanted that to work, Loki should have put up more resistance instead of pushing his back off the wall and leaning into Mobius's offered embrace. He pulled his arms tight around the agent, mindful of the fact that if he wasn't careful, he could probably actually hurt Mobius, but desperate to hold onto him. He tucked his chin down and pressed his face into the crook of Mobius's neck, tears burning his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.
He felt Mobius let out a shaky, heavy breath, and his hand patted Loki's back.
It felt like a weight was slowly being lifted off his chest. Even with Mobius squeezing as tightly as he possibly could, which wasn't that tightly against an Asgardian ribcage, but Loki wasn't going to tell him that, it felt like for the first time since the Void, when he'd said goodbye to Mobius and embarked on Sylvie's crazy plan, that he could truly breathe.
If Mobius noticed Loki shudder, or felt the way he suddenly started to relax in the agent's embrace, he didn't say anything about it. "You're safe now, Loki," he said, "we're gonna get you looked after in the Med Ward, find you something to eat, and then hopefully, you can get some sleep. Sound okay?"
Until Mobius said it out loud, none of those things had even occurred to Loki. Now, he was stunned that he could have thought of anything but. He was starving, and exhausted. The only part of that which didn't sound like a good idea was letting a TVA doctor poke around at him. Loki didn't trust most of the variants in the TVA, and the medical staff were no exceptions.
"I don't suppose there's a way I get out of this without going to Med Ward," Loki said.
"Well," began Mobius, "technically, I can't force you to go. It's not like I could pick you up and carry you there, you've got that ridiculously high Asgardian density thing weighing you down, literally. I would appreciate it if you would let the doctors have a look at you, though. You're clearly injured, you just told me you're injured and - some of it is my fault."
"No," Loki said firmly, "that's ridiculous. You're not to blame if your variants attacked me."
"Loki, my variants shouldn't have been able to touch you. When I say you're not a threat to me it's not because I could overpower you in a fight," Mobius leaned back just a bit, Loki didn't slacken his grip and let him get far, but it was far enough for him to reach up and brush a thumb over a bruise that had formed, dark and vicious, on the point of Loki's cheek. The god flinched away. "What happened? Did you not fight back?"
Loki ducked his head down again so he didn't have to look Mobius in the eyes. "I could have pruned them," he admitted softly, "or incapacitated them but - I couldn't lose any more friends. Not even the ones who weren't really my friends to begin with."
"That is truly the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Mobius said fondly, "Loki, you sentimental idiot. You need to look out for yourself next time."
"Not intending on a next time," Loki grumbled, "didn't intend on the first time."
"There's a bed in the medical wing," B-15 declared, and Loki jumped back from Mobius, whirling to face the Hunter. "Spooked, are you?"
"You would be too," Loki said, "believe me."
"We'll have to, soon," Mobius said, cutting off their chat before B-15 could list what she would rather do than believe Loki.
"The reference we have for Asgardian biology is shaky at best," the doctor told Mobius. Loki didn't think that was a particularly good enough answer, considering he had allowed Mobius to convince him to come and get examined by a man who was now admitting he didn't know anything about what he was seeing, but Mobius nodded. "Throw in the fact that you picked yourself a shapeshifter who isn't even really Asgardian, and -"
"I'm right here," Loki hissed, glaring at the doctor.
He was an older man, with curled brown hair and wrinkles etched deep into his face. He looked down at Loki like he was a bit of muck on the bottom of his shoe, and then continued speaking to Mobius. "In all, I don't think he's severely injured. Ice for the bruises, I'll come back and sew that cut on his ribs shut."
"Don't bother," Loki seethed, "wouldn't want to confuse you with my alien biology. It'll heal just fine."
"Not sure why you want to work with this variant, Mobius."
"I like 'im just fine," Mobius said, "you don't have to. If Loki says he doesn't need stitches, I believe him. You can go now."
The doctor left.
"I thought you told me you were going to burn this place to the ground. Instead, I come back and I'm still getting pushed around by the same windbags as before," Loki said sullenly.
"Yeah, that's true. Look, I was gonna tear the place apart, but when the timeline started branching, things got chaotic. We had to deal with some variants who found the multiverse pretty quickly. Started wrecking havoc, colliding timelines into one another, completely destroying others…"
Loki's eyes widened. "Who was the culprit?"
"The one and only, Doctor Stephen Strange. He's a right menace anytime he turns up where he's not supposed to be. Who did you think it would be?"
"I don't know his real name," Loki said quietly, "and I don't want to discuss him. As long as it wasn't him…"
"Well, unless your guy is Doctor Strange, you're good," Mobius said, "I'm gonna go and find you some food, and then leave you to get some sleep, alright? I've got paperwork to get done and you could use some shut-eye."
Loki almost managed to let him leave, but he reached out and caught Mobius's wrist at the last second.
"What is it?"
"Don't go."
It sounded pathetic, weak and helpless, in his own ears, but Mobius gave him a crooked smile.
"Let me get us both some food, and I'll find something that can pass for a desk while I'm here. You want me to stay, I'll stay."
Loki slept in the strangest of positions.
Mobius had noticed before that the variant, whom he supposed he should stop thinking of as a variant like it somehow set him apart, everyone Mobius knew, including himself, was a variant, could sleep anywhere. Loki would doze off in the middle of a pile of paperwork, his head curled onto his crossed arms, or slumped back in Mobius's creaky office chair. The spare room that had been found for Loki, since no one was going to allow him to sleep in communal barracks, had actually once been Mobius's tiny closet, and he was quite certain it wasn't big enough for Loki to comfortably stand or lay down in, and yet Mobius would always have to wake him in the morning when he unlocked the door.
Ravonna and B-15 had insisted on installing a lock on the outside of the closet so Loki could be locked in. Mobius thought it was stupid, Loki could probably break the lock without even trying, but he never did try in the first place.
Now, Mobius understood why the uncomfortable positions hadn't seemed to bother the god. He looked vaguely like he was trying to twist himself into a pretzel as he slept. He didn't quite snore, but Mobius found his own breathing matching up comfortably to the audible, rhythmic inhale and exhale.
Under the thin med wing blanket, Mobius could only see his shoulders rise and fall amidst his lanky tangle of limbs, and the very top of his tangled mop of black hair, peeking out from under the blankets. Mobius made a mental note to find some hygiene supplies for Loki in the morning. Without magic to tidy up loose ends, Loki would probably appreciate a toothbrush, some mouthwash and deodorant, and a brush.
Maybe a leave-in conditioner if he could find one. Mobius didn't know much about hair care, but he did know the all-in-one shampoo, conditioner and body wash in the communal showers was not good for it.
Mobius usually didn't find Loki particularly distracting. Awake or asleep, when there was research or work to be done, he was usually unobtrusive, unless he found something important, or wanted to intentionally provoke Mobius to get his attention. Mobius found his previous analogy of a cat to be fairly accurate as the days had gone on, and Loki had immediately reminded him of a stray cat, begging silently for scraps but hissing if you got too close.
He'd worked with worse.
Only this time, Loki was distracting. He wasn't doing anything, just getting some well-deserved rest, but he felt his eyes continuously drawn back to the sleeping god. Checking in on him every couple of minutes, watching the easy rhythm of his breathing.
He hoped Loki was getting some easy rest.
"Brother, please, if you're out there, I need to speak with you," Thor whispered, and he almost hoped Loki wouldn't answer.
He had seen the fallen warriors of Valhalla in his dreams before. Odin did not even need him to sleep, he would suddenly find himself standing on the grassy shore in Norway, his father standing beside him.
Heimdall had come to him after Jane had died. He'd come to tell Thor that she was comfortable and celebrated in Valhalla, honoured among all the fallen warriors, and to thank him for saving Axl. That day, Thor hadn't been able to bring himself to ask after his brother.
If Loki never came to him in a dream, and Heimdall or Odin never told him of his brother's fate, it was possible Thanos was wrong, and Loki was out there somewhere, waiting to make sure the coast was clear before he dared show his face again.
But Thor was at his wits end. With Jane gone and all of his new responsibilities as Love's Uncle Thor, he was at a breaking point. And Axl had gone to Valkyrie and told her that he thought he saw trouble stirring in the fringes of the realms, and she had relayed the message to him.
And Thor needed advice. And though he could have asked his father, it was Loki who he had always believed would be his advisor when he took the throne. Both brothers had always assumed they would be the one chosen as Odin's successor, and some days, Thor still thought it should have been Loki. His brother had a much better head for politics and ruling. He wouldn't have wound up handing the kingdom over to Valkyrie.
But if they had both lived and things had continued as normal, Thor would have taken the throne, and Loki would have been his advisor.
And Thor needed to hear his brother's voice, even as he prayed he wouldn't.
A warm summer breeze blew over Thor, despite the fact that it was nearly winter in Norway, and a hand gently touched his shoulder. "Hello, brother," Loki said softly, "I've missed you."
Thor turned to see his brother, his long black hair in a loose plait, dressed in very uncharacteristically white clothing. His green eyes were sad as he gazed at his brother. "Life has been unkind to you," he said, "I'm sorry. It's not fair. I've spoken with our family, and with Jane Foster. They send you all their love."
"No, you can't have spoken to them," Thor said brokenly, "please, you can't have spoken to them because if you have - Loki, I need you to come back, please. You're here now because you've decided to come back and -"
His brother gave him a sad smile. "I answered your prayer, Thor, that's all, and you knew what that meant when you prayed," he said, "my time with you, in this world, is through. I wait for you with our mother and father now."
"But you've come back every other time!" Thor pleaded, tears filling his eyes. "You've always come back, Loki, you need to come back! Come home!"
Loki shook his head. "They weren't real, brother, you know that. I did not truly meet an end falling into Yggdrasil, nor on Svartalfheim. The same does not hold true this time. You can't possibly think that by coincidence I appeared exactly when you prayed for me and I didn't come from Valhalla."
"You can't stay gone," Thor said, "I still need you here. You're my little brother and I'm not ready for you to be gone."
"I'm sorry," Loki said, "I wish it didn't have to be like this. But the truth is that I have been as good as dead since I fell and the Black Order found me. I've been in Valhalla, catching up on my reading and dealing with our family drama. Our sister also died in battle, so you can chew on that and imagine how much fun I've been having. My point is, this is the best I can do in terms of coming back. However, that doesn't mean I can't send you some help."
"I don't just need help, I need you. I need my family, Loki."
The God of Mischief smiled. "Good, because that's what you're getting. You're realising, slowly, that your world is more complicated than it once appeared. And things are only going to get worse, Thor. Someone is coming for you, to destroy you and your entire timeline. But you're not alone."
"What does that mean, Loki?"
"When your friends were in the past, I was watching over you all, along with our father. I'm a little offended that you didn't stop to say hello, I was right there. Anyways, they made a mistake, Thor. A lot of bad things happened when Stark, Rogers and that strangely miniscule man went back to New York, but the most important is that they let me get away with the Tesseract. Well, not me, per say, I wasn’t there, but the version of me that was there.”
"I don't understand."
"Someone is coming to find you, Thor. Someone who can help you, but he needs just as much help from you. Please, treat him kindly, he's younger than you remember him, and hasn't lived the same things you remember."
"What are you saying?" Thor asked.
"I can't ever come back to the real life and world, Thor. The most I can do is walk through your dreams. I am here with our mother and father, in Valhalla, and we wait patiently until it is your day to join us. But there's a version of me out there, alone and afraid, barely out of New York and in over his head. Father sent me to his dreams last night, and he makes his way to you," Loki said, "he's not quite who you remember. He never returned to Asgard after New York, he knows what happened but he never lived it. And he was the first to meet the man who is coming for you and your entire reality."
"If you know all of this, why can't it be you?" Thor asked, reaching out to place his hands on his brother's arms. He felt smokey and vaguely insubstantial. Thor could hold him, but barely. "The Allfather is the king of Valhalla, he could send you back!"
Loki shook his head. "Thor, I know it's hard to accept, but I'm where I'm meant to be," he said, "I'm with our mother and father, I never thought I'd see them again. I didn't think I would ever be welcome in the halls of Valhalla, and I am content here, although I miss you dearly. I'm truly sorry, brother, you did not deserve to lose your entire family like this, but there was nothing we could do. We each had our own fates, fates we've known for a long time now. This won't be the last time we see each other, Thor. I promised you that the sun would shine on us again, and I didn't lie."
"How is that possibly true, if you're in Valhalla and I am here?" Thor asked.
"There is only fair weather in Valhalla, brother. The sun shines each morning. When you join us here, when it is your time, the sun will shine on us again. In the meantime, you have my adorable niece to look after, and you're about to have a slightly younger version of me on your doorstep. I think you have your hands sufficiently full."
"Do you have any advice for Love?" Thor asked suddenly, "and her magic?"
Loki smiled. "Finally, you ask for something I can offer. I'll see if I can't pay her a visit and offer some advice on controlling her powers. If I can't, our mother should be able to."
The air around them seemed to change. The warm summer breeze faded, returning to the chilly Norway wind. Loki sighed. "I have to go, brother. I cannot stay forever, and you must be ready when my counterpart arrives."
"It's not the same," Thor said, "it's not you. We fought side by side on Svartalfheim, and Sakaar, and during Ragnarok and against the Mad Titan. And he-"
"He didn't," Loki agreed, "he is different, yes. He was not tried by Odin after New York. He did not spend two years in the dungeon, and he did not lead the Dark Elves to our mother, as I have known I did for years now. I believed I sent them to you, but it was Frigga and Jane who awaited them. But he has just recently escaped the Black Order, and although he isn't ready to speak of it, that will change him, and not necessarily for the better. I know it's not the same, Thor, but just like you need your younger brother, he needs his older brother. His timeline was destroyed, and for you, I died five years ago. This is the only way you both get what you need."
"You really can't come back," Thor said, trying to convince himself he should accept that. "No matter what, you can't come back."
"I can't," Loki agreed, "this is where I am meant to be. But that doesn't mean I'm gone forever, brother. I will be waiting to greet you in Valhalla, Heimdall can take the day off that day, and I am always here if you need me. Our father isn't the only one who can walk into your dreams. If you really and truly need me, I'll be there."
"And what if I needed you all the time?" Thor asked.
"Well, that's what the other version of me is good for. Oh, by the way, he may be bringing friends. An older man with a mustache, he's almost certainly coming, possibly a blonde woman, a child and an alligator, all of whom are reportedly some version of me as well, besides the man with the mustache. You'll like them, especially the woman. She's very brash like you, I think you'll get along."
Thor let his hands drop from Loki's arms, and his brother took a few steps backwards, which was as far as he made it before Thor surged forward and pulled his arms around his brother, foggy and insubstantial or not. Loki let out an amused sigh, and patted Thor's shoulder. "I'm not much of a hugger most of the time-"
"Liar. You just pretend you don't like them," Thor interrupted.
"Fine, you've got me. And I suppose I do owe you this one, since I didn't let you hug me on the Statesman."
"Promise me I'll see you again before Valhalla," Thor said, "this version of you, he doesn't replace my brother. Promise me that you won't just leave."
"Thor," Loki said seriously, "I will never leave. I'll always be with you. But yes, I will come back again to see you. Now I really must go, and you need to get back to where I told him to go, which is your house. If Love finds him first, she might decide he's a demon and zap him, and I have no other variants of me to offer you."
Thor still didn't let go for another few seconds. Then he reluctantly let his arms drop. "One last thing, brother," he said.
"Make it quick, Thor. We're running out of time for this to all work out."
"I'm sorry for what I said. You were never the worst, you were the best little brother I ever could have asked for."
"Well, that's a stretch, I did send the Destroyer to Earth to kill you and stab you many, many times. But don't worry. I knew you never meant it," Loki said.
"I love you, brother," Thor said. Loki smiled.
"I know. I love you too."
And then the icy sea breeze blew him away, and Thor opened his eyes.
I'm a fly that is trapped in a web
But I'm thinking that my spider's dead
Lonely, lonely little life
I could kid myself in thinking that I'm fine
- Always, Panic! At The Disco, VICES AND VIRTUES (2011)