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Henry never really shows Alex how he takes his tea. Alex simply watches him one morning, shortly after they move in together. He notes the way Henry steeps the tea for a specific amount of time. The way he stirs in the milk, then adds the sugar. Henry prepares his tea the same way he does everything else: with intention. Each movement is practiced, each step has a purpose. It’s fascinating, really. Henry puts so much love and care into everything he does, including making his morning cup of tea. It’s one of the best things about him, in Alex’s opinion. Alex isn’t like that. Or, he doesn’t show his love in quite the same way, but he feels it just as deeply.
Alex wakes Henry with a cup the next morning, and he never forgets the look on his boyfriend’s face when he takes that first sip. The way he pauses, and smiles, and presses his warm lips to Alex’s.
Thank you, he says. This is perfect.
Alex smiles and tries not to preen, but he can’t help it. Henry continues to sip his tea slowly, a far away look on his face.
Alex has always loved getting a reaction out of him. It’s one of the first things that drew him to Henry. He loved seeing the cracks in his perfect veneer. He loved seeing the truth that peeked through.
There hasn’t been any hint of that veneer in a long time. Henry simply didn’t need it around him. In all the time they’ve known each other, Alex has seen every dark and hidden part of Henry and loves all of them. He thought he knew everything about his boyfriend by now, but this? This is something else entirely. The expression on his face is something so much more than lust or love. As Henry sits up in their bed and sips his tea, he looks like he knows exactly how much he is loved. And that is truly a wonder to behold.
*
Life in the brownstone quickly falls into an easy rhythm. Henry takes the trash out at night because he knows Alex hates doing it. Alex keeps the fridge fully stocked and makes sure there’s always some kind of leftovers available.
There’s a learning curve, to be sure. Alex shows Henry how to load a dishwasher. How to do his laundry. And while there’s plenty of good-natured ribbing, and a great deal of teasing, it never stings. There’s no judgment behind Alex’s words. No shame for the lack of these crucial life skills. There’s an overwhelming understanding about the differences in their life experiences, and it gives both of them a sense of pride to take care of the home they’re making together.
Their days are often hectic, but their evenings are spent curled up on the couch, watching bake off, documentaries, old Bond movies and the rom-coms Alex used to claim he hated. Late nights are spent out dancing at queer clubs in Brooklyn, stumbling home drunk and handsy in the early hours of the morning, only to collapse onto the bed they share, fully satiated, not long after.
Sundays are for farmers markets and brunch and long walks with David. They sit outside cafes like they did in Paris all those years ago. Although now Henry reached his hand across the table as they eat, and Alex takes it.
Saturdays are for errands and cleaning and life in general. They learn how to budget together. How to run a household. They go grocery shopping and keep a family calendar. And through it all, there’s an unspoken push and pull in their relationship, a give and take, a balance that feels as natural to them as breathing.
*
Sometimes, their love shows up in ways neither of them expect. After Alex moves into the brownstone, Henry’s lows become even lower and last for much longer. He starts spending entire days in bed. He apologizes to Alex and promises to make it up to him, until Alex takes his face firmly in his hands and tells him it’s okay to fall. Alex will catch him on the way down.
Henry’s therapist says it’s because of Alex that he’s able to get these lows. Because of Alex, Henry finally feels safe enough to let in the rest of the hurt he never could before. Everything he locked away behind closed doors is now brought into the light where it can finally be dealt with. The emotional weight of it all takes a toll on Henry. It takes days and weeks and months and Alex is there for all of it. Holding him tight and loving him through it.
And when the storm does pass, what exists in the space between them has solidified into something unmovable. Unbreakable.
Something indomitable.
*
When Alex runs himself ragged in his last year in law school, Henry quickly learns when to let him spiral, and when it’s time to intervene. He trusts Alex to take care of himself, but he also steps in when he can see Alex needs it.
In those moments, he doesn’t listen as Alex insists, again, that he’s fine, even though his dark circles have circles and his hands are shaking from too much caffeine and stress. Henry closes Alex’s laptop. Turns off the desk lamp. Draws him a hot bath. Massages his own expensive conditioner into Alex’s curls. He lays Alex down in their bed and covers him as only he can. Shoulder over shoulder. Arm over arm. A leg slung across him. Henry shields him from the world in every way he can and continues to keep watch long after Alex falls asleep. David the beagle curled up by their feet.
*
Whenever they fight (because of course they fight) Alex still makes Henry’s lunch in the mornings. Henry still folds Alex’s clothes the way he likes. And with every fight they come out the other side better than they were before.
Alex particularly hates fighting with Henry. It’s too reminiscent of his own life. During their first big blow-up, Alex feels the slight edge of panic that maybe this is it. Maybe everything is going to start crumbling. Maybe he will end up following in his parents’ footsteps in more ways than one.
But Henry is there, fighting off his own demons, fighting his desire to run and hide and instead standing beside Alex and proving, again, that they are worth fighting for. They are both undoing their own family histories and creating something new. Something that is theirs.
It isn’t perfect. Nothing ever is. Henry still withdraws sometimes when things get tough. Alex still puts his big fucking foot in his big fucking mouth more times than he cares to admit. But they love each other through it all. Despite of it. Because of it. They are a team. They are always a team.
*
After their daughter is born, they take care of each other, as well as her. Henry takes the baby and insists his husband get some sleep. Alex takes the baby and hands Henry a sandwich or a gyro from that place he likes nearby.
Henry falls in love with Alex when, two months into their joint parental leave, he tells Henry he wants to go back to work. Henry holds him and assures him that he isn’t a terrible father. He isn’t abandoning his child. Henry tells Alex that he is fighting to make the world better for their daughter and he believes that, with everything he is.
Henry is again proven right years later when his husband, the human rights lawyer and former PTA president, is elected chair of the School Board.
Alex falls in love with the father Henry becomes. He can see echoes of Arthur Fox in the way Henry plays pirates and Star Wars and dress-up with his kids, adopting voices and contorting his body like the great Shakespearean actors.
He falls in love with his husband who soothes every skinned knee and softens every heartbreak. There are so many moments when Alex has to stop and take stock of his life and be grateful, again, for the boy in the garden who got tired of waiting.
*
They change as they get older, but their love never does. When Henry starts getting soft around the middle and when Alex’s beautiful curls become thinner and greyer, nothing between them changes. They still take advantage of every stolen kiss, every little moment they can. The decades pass but their desire for each other never fades.
After their kids are grown and leave the house, Henry and Alex get to fall in love with each other all over again. And this time it’s different. And it’s exactly the same. Their faces are more lined, and there’s more shared history between them now, but they are the same. Their bodies changed, their world changed, but their love never does.
*
Alex uses a cane now, but he still brings Henry his tea, with the day’s medications on the tray next to it. Henry still listens patiently to all of his husband’s diatribes, with the same rapt attention as he did when they were younger.
They joke and laugh and kiss and it’s so good. It’s always so good. When a year together becomes five, becomes ten, becomes forty and fifty, their love remains. A constant in their lives. Steady as the the constellations in the sky.