Work Text:
~PSon~*~0~*~PSon~
Dani had been surprised when Jessica had turned up on their doorstep in the late afternoon. Malcolm had stayed back at the precinct finishing up his report for Gil. No matter what any of them said he had refused to go home until it was done. Rather than start a useless fight, Dani had given in and told him she’d see him when he got home. His pensive nod and tense expression told her he was doing everything he could to hold it together and needed to get this done so he could let go and recover for a few days. She’d given him a quick kiss on the cheek and left him to it, determined to try and come up with something easy for him to eat when he got home. That plan was now slightly aborted as Jessica invited herself into the loft and settled at the kitchen island, her expression as pensive as Malcolm’s had been.
Dani sighed and quietly shut the door and went about making them tea as Jessica just watched her, asking inane questions about her and her family.
When she’d finally finished getting the tea ready, she handed Jessica hers and kept her place across from her, leaning on the bench as she gave Jessica a questioning look.
Jessica had the grace to blush slightly and cleared her throat before getting right to the point as she usually did.
“I’m worried about Malcolm, and I need to help,” Jessica blurted out, her hands clenching around her cup as her fearful eyes held Dani’s gaze.
Dani sighed heavily, dropping her gaze to the bench top before looking back up at her, her expression tightly controlled to not give too much away. Malcolm and Jessica’s relationship was much better than it had been when she had first met them, but it was far from perfect, and Malcolm still guarded his private life from his Mother’s prying where he could.
“I know he doesn’t want my help, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help you to help him,” Jessica pushed on.
“I just want to help. I…I can’t watch him crumble before my eyes and do nothing,” Jessica implored, her gaze tearing as she proudly held Dani’s as her emotion appeared to get the better of her.
Dani reached out to her and cupped her hand with hers in support. She knew exactly what Jessica was feeling and for as much as Jessica made mistakes in her relationship with her son, Dani could never deny that she loved him.
“I know. It’s…well, yeah…he’s struggling at the moment, but we have to be careful how we offer help,” Dani admitted, having to drop her gaze when her words caused Jessica to pull in a shaky breath at the possible implication of Malcolm struggling.
“I know and that’s why I’m here. He will take more from you. He trusts you to let you in and know what he needs. Now I’m here asking you how I can help you to give him what he desperately needs right now, because I fear if we don’t, we could lose him,” Jessica finished with a quiet sob, that could easily have been excused as a harsh inhale, but Dani had known her long enough now to know the difference.
Dani leaned forward, cupping both Jessica’s hands with hers around the cup of untouched tea.
“We won’t let it get to that, you know I would do what I had to before he got that far,” Dani reassured her, holding her gaze steady with her own, willing her own emotion down to try and comfort the mother terrified for her son in front of her.
Jessica dropped her gaze to the bench top, extracting a hand to quickly wipe at her cheek before looking back up with teary but determined eyes and nodding her acceptance of Dani’s reassurance.
“Thank you. It…it’s a help to know he has you,” Jessica replied her gratitude.
Dani smiled back softly, “I have needed him as much as he needed me.”
Dani saw Jessica was about to launch into her usual, ‘the accident wasn’t your fault, and you literally saved my son speech’ and jumped in before she could.
“So, I know you already have ideas on how to help, what are they?” Dani asked, raising her eyebrows at her, almost daring her to give her speech and ignore her question, but clearly Jessica’s need to meddle was greater and she started to list out all her ideas.
In the end after many mind bogglingly expensive ideas that included a month in Maldives, Jessica offered the Hampton mansion and Dani got her down to agree to a week of solitude. It was perfect. It was the off season being winter and it would just be them for a full week in front of the fireplace and resting in the lap of luxury with few people around to bother them. Jessica offered her full summer staff to support them, and Dani declined, knowing that Malcolm wouldn’t be able to truly relax if there were staff there too. No, they would manage looking after themselves for a week. Dani just needed to get the all clear from Gil and they’d be set. As soon as Jessica left with a grateful hug and subtle hint that she would love grandchildren one day, Dani called Gil.
“Hey boss,” Dani responded nervously to Gil’s answering of the phone. If he didn’t agree, it could all be for nought. She was pretty sure he would be onboard as he was just as worried about Malcolm as she was, but she didn’t know if they had any big cases on the horizon that she wasn’t aware of that would need Malcolm's unique perspective and talents as a profiler.
“What’s up?” Gil asked, obviously picking up on her nerves straight away.
She cleared her throat and dived in, “can Malcolm and I have a week off?”
Dani could almost see him blink on the other end of the line as the silence stretched for a couple extra seconds.
“Uh, yeah, I think that would be ok. Something I need to know?” Gil asked his Lieutenant voice firmly in place.
Dani let out a nervous laugh, “yeah, nothing serious boss, I promise…it’s just…Malcolm…he…”
Gil cut in before she could finish, “say no more. Your leave’s granted. Will a week be enough?”
Dani smiled fondly, Gil was one of the most caring men she knew, and he would do anything for his family, and family extended to his team.
“Yeah, thanks Gil, a week’ll be perfect. Just a break and recharge needed to get the jagged pieces smoothed back down,” Dani assured him with another fond smile.
Dani could hear his sad smile in his voice, “ok kid, take care of our boy and you. Don’t forget to let you recharge too. He needs you to be ok, for him to be ok,” Gil reminded her, showing that he truly was a dad to both of them.
“Promise, thanks boss,” Dani thanked him before signing off.
Now to convince Malcolm this was a good idea…
~*~0~*~
By the time he got home Malcolm was clearly almost at the end of his tolerance for the day. His pain lines were deep, his jaw clenched tight, and hand tucked protectively in the sling she had finally got him to agree to use when his pain was bad.
Rather than talk to him about any of her and Jessica’s ideas, she helped him out of his heavy outer coat and got him seated at the kitchen island in front of a bowl of broth and slice of Ciabatta. He opened his mouth to likely give a protest about not being hungry, but chuckled instead and picked up his spoon and took a taste. Dani smiled fondly at him as his shoulders relaxed and he gave a pleased hum. She had worked hard to find a receipt for a beef broth that was light enough not to upset his delicate digestion but also have enough taste and nutritional value to be a favourite of his now.
He smiled up at her before taking the next spoonful, “thank you.”
Dani smiled back at him before leaning over and giving him a quick kiss on his cheek, “you’re welcome. It’ll be your turn to cook next though. That took ages,” Dani teased lightly.
Malcolm laughed, clenching it off as the movement of his chest clearly disturbed his arm and caused him pain.
“Bad day?” Dani asked, unable to help her worry bleeding into her expression.
Malcolm’s bleak look back at her, added years to his features, his eyes haunted with pain and exhaustion.
“Yeah,” Malcolm replied in a sigh, putting down his spoon and leaning his head against his hand as it appeared like the weight of the world came to rest on his shoulders.
Dani moved in behind him and kneaded at the tight muscles across his shoulders and ran up into his neck. They were so tight she could hardly put any pressure into her massage without eliciting a grunt of pain from him, which completely defeated the purpose of the massage.
“Ok, get some more of that down and have a hot shower and then I’ll see if I can get some of that tension out of your shoulders, yeah?” Dani prompted as she shifted to scratching her fingers through the back of his hair instead.
Malcolm hummed an agreement at her and picked up his spoon again.
She left him to eat in peace and pottered around, tidying the loft, that really didn’t need tidying, but gave him some privacy to manage his meal without her watching him. It was something that he struggled with at times when he had to force himself to eat.
She ended up so absorbed in her task that she didn’t even notice that he had finished his meal and already taken his shower, before he came up beside her, wrapping his good arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss into her cheek.
“Thank you,” he whispered into her ear as he rested his head on her shoulder for a moment, before shifting away to finish getting dressed for bed.
She shamelessly admired his toned frame as he dropped his towel and worked his way into his sleep pants without disturbing his right arm, which was now free of his sling, but still in his pressure glove. It was going to be a bitch changing that out tonight for his dry one, but that could wait.
Malcolm turned back to her his sleep shirt in hand, his towelled dried hair messily flicked back as he stood upright.
“You don’t need to give me a massage, you’ve already done enough,” Malcolm told her, giving her an out, but his drawn and pained expression told her he really needed it and would appreciate it.
“I know I don’t need to, but I want to. Now go sit in your chair and I’ll get your oils while you get comfy,” Dani urged him as she moved over to his bedside drawer and pulled out the massage oil they had found that helped with his muscle tension, but also helped with his sleep sometimes. Anything was worth trying to help him get a decent sleep.
She moved in behind the custom massage chair his mother had insisted on getting for him. She quickly removed the panel that usually sat across his shoulders, she would be taking care of that tonight. Dani pulled in the backless stool and sat behind him oiling up her hands, while he set the vibrators in the very centre of the chair to their lowest setting.
She started off gently, just getting him to relax as much as he could and then started to work on the knots and snarls she could feel in his muscles. Eventually she was able to knead the muscles without causing him pain and she could see he was starting to drift off.
“Hey sleepy, no sleeping in the chair,” Dani chided him softly as she encouraged him to shift up out of the chair.
Before he could move off to the bed, she carefully wrapped him up in her arms hugging him close.
“I love you, baby,” Dani murmured into his ear as he melted into her arms, his head resting on her shoulder.
“Love you too,” he mumbled back, squeezing her back with his good arm and nuzzling his face into her neck to press kisses below her ear, sending shivers down her spine.
“Don’t get mad, but I got us a week off and your mum’s giving us her place in the Hamptons for a week,” Dani gushed out in a rush, renewing her hold on him in anticipation of resistance, but was pleasantly surprised when he just smiled into her neck.
“Sounds good, when do we go?” Malcolm husked into her throat, before pressing another kiss into her neck.
“What?” Dani asked in shock, breaking their embrace to pull back and look him in the eye.
Malcolm smiled lazily at her, “I said, sounds good, when do we go?”
Dani blinked at him for a few seconds before his response truly registered, “you want to go?” Dani checked.
Malcolm nodded, “yeah, I need a break and so do you. I think it’s a great idea.”
Dani shook her head and stared at him in amazement.
“Who are you, and what have you done with Malcolm?” she teased him with a gentle poke to the chest that had him chuckling lightly before leaning in and kissing her with a hunger that had her groaning as he broke it off to lean his forehead against hers.
“Don’t start something that neither of us are up to finishing,” she admonished him before stepping away to grab his sleep shirt and helped him into it.
“We can head off tomorrow if you want. Gil has already given the go ahead for our leave and your mother just needs to call to get her army of staff into action to have it ready for us in a couple hours,” Dani advised him, waiting for him to sit on his side of the bed before pulling out his clean pressure sleeve and supplies for changing it.
Malcolm nodded before replying, “yeah, I can do tomorrow. I finished the last report for Gil, so I’ve got nothing outstanding now. Let’s call my mother in the morning and make her day,” Malcolm replied with a chuckle as he eyed off the clean sleeve, applicator, skin wipes, towel and powder she set down beside him.
“Hey, she’s trying and I thought it was pretty sweet. She was offering a month in the Maldives to begin with,” Dani told him with a smirk.
“What, you gave up a month in Maldives for a week in the Hamptons? We really need to work on your negotiation skills, didn’t you do training for this?” Malcolm teased her with a returned smirk.
She rolled her eyes at him, before swatting him lightly on his good shoulder, his resulting laughter making her smile, until he hissed in pain as he shifted his arm too much.
“Fuck, do you think we can get away with not swapping it out tonight?” Malcolm swore as he cradled his damaged arm to his chest and pulled at his now mostly dry hair with his good hand.
Dani gave him a sympathetic head shake. He knew he couldn’t leave the wet sleeve on that long, his damaged skin would deteriorate and he’d end up not being able to wear his sleeve at all while his skin healed and would be even worse off. No, as much as it sucked, they needed to change it out. She hated hurting him, but knew it was for his benefit in the long run.
Dani’s heart broke a little as she watched Malcolm forced himself to face the pain ahead, his eyes shut tight, taking in deep and measured breaths until he was back to a mostly relaxed state. His small nod with his heavy sigh as he stretched out his sleeved limb to her, had her fighting to hold back her own emotions before moving into action.
“Ready?” she asked, giving him a final check in as she gently cradled his arm in her hands.
“No, but just do it,” Malcolm grit out, his arm trembling in her hands as she readied to pull off the sleeve.
“Ok, here we go,” Dani sighed as she gripped the edges of the pressure sleeve and as quickly as she could pulled it away from his skin and off his arm. The wet material clung to his skin so she almost had to wrestle with it to peel it off his scarred arm and hand.
“GAH, fuck,” Malcolm cried out as the sleeve finally slipped free into her hands. Dani knew not to touch him right now, even though every instinct she had was screaming at her to comfort him and hold him tight. He couldn’t handle any touch when it was this bad.
She watched in her own internal agony as he curled up over his arm, his hair hiding his face from her as he panted and bit off moans of pain as he tried to put it all back in its box before she had to put the new sleeve on.
Her resolve nearly broke when he looked back up at her through the fall of hair now framing his face after pulling at it as he tried to get himself back in control, his teary and pain filled gaze almost breaking her.
“Malcolm…” she whispered, wanting to comfort him, but having nothing tangible that would actually help right now.
He clenched his eyes shut, a tear slipping down his cheek as he bit at his lip and huffed out pained breaths.
“Just do it…it’ll hurt…no matter if we…do it or not…fuck,” Malcolm panted at her as he held out his arm again, just staring at the floor between his splayed knees.
“Ok,” Dani whispered as she picked up the wipes and as quickly as possible removed all the powder residue from the last application of his sleeve. Every hiss and moan he made as she cleaned and dried his arm and hand was like an arrow piercing her chest, leaving them both silently crying and shaking.
“I’m sorry,” Dani murmured as she pressed a kiss to the top of his bowed head as they both collected themselves.
“..’s ok…not your fault,” Malcolm panted back to her leaning in to rest his head on her belly.
“Nearly done,” Dani reassured him, as she threaded the sleeve on the applicator over his bowed head, letting him rest and gather himself. The worst was over now. Putting the new sleeve on was quick with the applicator.
She felt him take a deep breath and sit back up. His face was pale and drawn, his hair still messily framing his tear-stained face, but his eyes had their determined fire back in them and she knew he was ok. This break would do them both the world of good and hopefully he would be able to get his pain back under control and not spend every day fighting to not break under the strain of it all. He might be struggling, but he was still her Malcolm. Taking the world, a moment at a time and embracing the good with the bad.
They’d get through this, together.
~*~0~*~
The first couple of days at the Hamptons were lovely, just lazing about the mansion, taking short walks on the beach, watching the sea roil and foam from the stiff breezes that saw them rugged up like Michelin men in the frigid air. Warming up by the fireplace with earl grey tea and slow, languid love making on the bear skin rug before the fireplace. His pain fading back to background noise he could block out.
It was day four when things unravelled a little. Malcolm had knocked his arm against the shower wall when he had slipped a little in the unfamiliar stall and now his arm was swollen and the skin an angry red of inflamed nerves. He couldn’t tolerate the pressure sleeve which meant his other nerve pain was flaring up, leaving his arm a throbbing, fiery source of agony. He refused to go to the hospital to get it checked, insisting that there was nothing they could do, and he would just have to ride it out. Dani was scared he had managed to break something in the delicate web of plates, screws and bone fragments that was the makeup of his arm now. They had told him that there wasn’t enough bone left to fixate to if he broke anything else in there and he would either need to look at bone grafts, that were no guarantee of taking and risked infection or consider amputation. Dani knew that’s what was playing on his mind right now and was the reason for him avoiding finding out what was actually going on with his arm right now.
Dani woke to an empty bed on their fifth day, which wasn’t that unusual, but given how early it was and that his side of the bed didn’t even look slept in, there was a good chance he hadn’t even come to bed. Dani dressed quickly and made her way downstairs and found Malcolm sat on the floor in front of fire, staring into its depths as if it had the answers to the world. Answers that he didn’t want if his expression was anything to go by.
Dani shivered looking at him, sat in his tank top that she hadn’t even known he owned and Jeans. He had found them in a stash of clothes that he had left from summer's past. His arm wouldn’t tolerate any covering at the moment and the open sleeves had been easy for him to get into. He’s used a throw rug to stop hypothermia setting in when he wasn’t in front of the fire, but he hadn’t moved far from it since his incident in the shower. Most of the prior day he spent sat on the couch, hunched over his knees breathing through the flares of pain.
He must have gotten cold overnight to have moved to the floor in front of couch. She padded over to him and quietly sat to the left of him, not wanting to risk knocking his arm.
“Hey,” she greeted him with a very gentle press of her shoulder to his. Not enough to move him, but enough that he could feel the comfort being offered with her support.
He turned his head to look at her, his face drawn with exhaustion and pain again, his eyes haunted and scared.
“Hey,” he husked back, his voice rasping, sounding like he’d been gargling rocks all night. More likely rough from bouts of vomiting from the pain induced nausea that would plague him when it was really bad.
She sighed and dropped her head to his shoulder.
“You need to go in, you know that right?” Dani prompted him, not moving from her spot resting on his shoulder to give him space.
Dani felt him pull in a deep breath.
“Yeah, I know…just, not yet,” Malcolm admitted, before dropping his head to lean against hers.
She shifted her hand to lace her fingers with his as it rested on his bent knee. She circled her thumb over the back of his hand, offering him what little comfort she could.
“I love you and I’ll support you, no matter what. You know that right?” Dani asked him, squeezing his hand in hers.
She heard a small whimper leave him, as he squeezed her hand back.
“I know…it’s just…I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice breaking as she felt warm drops slip through her hair to her scalp.
Her breath hitched in her throat as her eyes burned with tears of her own, desperately wishing she could do something to take away all his pain and fear.
“I know…it’s gonna be ok. We’ll get through this…together,” Dani assured him, her voice breaking a little as her tears broke free of her hold and slipped down her cheeks onto his shoulder.
Malcolm shifted above her, and she felt him press a kiss to her hair, gripping her hand tight as he held the kiss as he cried into her hair.
“Together…thank you,” Malcolm rasped as he went back to resting his head on hers and they both stared into the flames.
She didn’t know what was ahead of them, but she knew she wouldn’t let him face this alone.
~PSon~*~0~*~PSon~