Chapter Text
".....mother?" I let out.
She took my hand in hers, and I felt a throbbing pain come from my elbow. "Please, I beg of you." She cried as she held my hand to her chest stretching my arm out, hurting me even more.
"Why?" I asked.
"Just die! Please!" She yelled, and I felt the pain leave my arm.
The reason the pain was gone was that my elbow had fully snapped off, and all of my muscles from that arm had got shredded off beforehand. But what I was focused on was my mother's face. She was grinning happily at me, at my pain and suffering. My own blood soon flowed into the vision of my only eye left which was the nearest to the ground.
Why? Why did I do wrong? I thought I was finally going to stop being alone all the time. I had my first hug it felt so warm but I just feel cold now.
Earlier this day, I was the happiest I have ever been. "Die! Die!" I yelled as I spammed the buttons on my console and I won the fight making me cheer. "I did it! I kicked you to..."
I went silent as I looked down at my bed, I poked my useless legs and sighed. My legs used to move when I was a baby, but now, I can't move them at all.
I never knew what it was like to walk. I have always been here at the hospital since my family can't support me at home, so I'm looked after here.
I'm the oldest child, and I have never met my younger siblings because I have always been stuck here. I have seen pictures of them, but I bet they haven't seen any of me.
I met my father once...never again. I see my mother quite often, but she seems indifferent to me, but that's better than hate.
Anyway, I have my games, so I'm fine, for now. I don't know anything else other than this.
My door opened, and I saw my mother standing there, I was shocked to see her. "Mother?"
"I'm here to visit." She informed me and I was a little nervous as she sat down next to my bed. "What is that?"
I looked down at my console. "Oh, it's a fighting game, the nurses said this was donated here and I have been playing it for ages! Fighting games are amazing! They go wham! Bam- sorry, that was a bit much." I apologised hoping she doesn't hate me.
She smiled a little making me grin brightly that I finally made her smile. "How old are you now?" She asked me.
"Oh, I'm 18." I answered.
"I see." She looked surprised. "You're very small."
Yeah, the nurses love to say how I have the height of a 12-year-old, that's because I haven't been able to even go out. I could use a wheelchair, but even my bones are too weak and can break easily from falls so they don't want to take the chance.
"Would you like to go outside?" She grinned.
"No way! Really?! Like France! That's where I shot someone's head off!" I exclaimed. "I mean in my game."
She slowly got up and picked me up shocking me. "Don't you want to put me in a wheelchair?" I asked her.
"You weigh nothing." She responded immediately with a sharp tone, but it didn't seem to be aimed at me.
I hugged her, and it felt so warm making me cry a little, I have never had any contact like this before, it's so nice.
I relaxed into her hold, and I kept silent to not irritate her since I didn't want this to end. I was in awe at all of the new sights even seeing the entrance of the hospital was new for me.
I did notice that some people were giving us dirty looks, but they were actually aimed at my mother.
We finally went outside and it was so. "Green!" I exclaimed surprising her.
"Just green?" She mumbled.
"There are other colours, but I have really never seen so many of them!" I grinned. "Since the last time I had gone out was when I broke my arm...I wanted to touch the ant and then probably murdered it with my body."
I felt her shake but that was it, I pointed out more new things as we went along so I was speaking non-stop until we stopped at a cross-section and I saw some school kids. I was jealous seeing them living a life I have seen in games I have played.
They looked at me, so I tried my best to wave rightly, I got weird looks so I know I did it brilliantly.
"I'm sorry for everything." Mother apologised to me.
"You're here for me now. I can't be happier." I reassured her and hugged her tightly.
"Really? Have you never been happy?" She mumbled and sounded upset, so I pulled back to reassure her, but then I felt us lose all contact.
It was cold and I was falling.
I looked to the side to see blurry lights then the next thing everything went black and I felt a pain that I had never felt before. I wanted to cry out or scream, to move, to get away from the pain but I couldn't, I was useless like I have always been.
My mother was on her knees begging me to die. I don't understand why but it seems all I have been was a burden, something to throw away. It felt so cold and my eyes slowly closed, but I couldn't accept any of this, the pain was too much. I was screaming in my mind since I couldn't even scream out loud anymore.
The pain cut out but then I felt like I couldn't breathe again even though that should have been the end of my pain. The pain was only getting worse and worse. The agony I felt from being thrown away and now this, I just want it to end already.
My vision was blurry, and I could hear everything around me, but it was getting quieter.
Everything I was feeling from a large pressure on my entire chest to my hearing completely disappearing made no sense to me.
It seems people were panicking around me and there was an even more powerful pressure on my chest until I was able to breathe again.
I was gasping for air, and I was finally able to cry, I couldn't hear myself but I knew I must be screaming.
Once I was able to see a little I calmed down to just sniffling. I saw I was surrounded by strangers who were smiling like my mother had making my fear grow.
I felt tired, and I still couldn't hear anything, the people around me were all moving their mouths but there was still nothing and I got even more scared. 'Mo-! Anyone! Please help!' I yelled in my mind.
I started to cry again making the smiles of the people drop. 'Huh? Who now?! My sister is loud enough, she's even louder than I have ever heard mum sound at night.' I heard a male voice in my mind confusing me.
I was snifflings as I looked for the voice, I saw in a mirror I'm a baby and there was a baby that seems to be a year older than me in the man's arms. 'Wait, why did she look at me? I'm not into sibling dating games.' He frowned and his lips didn't move, but I'm sure it's him the voice I'm hearing in my mind.
'Those actually exist? You actually tried one?' I asked in my mind feeling safer hearing of something familiar.
He paused then went back falling out of the man's arms and off the bed. I think the adults started to scream, but I still couldn't hear them making me cry again.
'I'm not dead!' He yelled in his mind.
'Not the problem.' I responded back.
'Oi!' He yelled in his mind and I laughed a little out loud I think.
That night he explained to me that these are our parents and they seemed relieved I was laughing now, but I was shivering whenever I was held and that was most of the time.
We both somehow talked to each other in our minds like we could hear each other's thoughts, but he said no one else can do this.
We were put in cribs in the same room as our parents and we talked to each other and found out how we were connected in our past life. We never talked to each other. I never saw him, but he told me he tried to save me when my mother threw me in front of a truck, and we both died.
Rudeus did his best to comfort me, and our parents were concerned that I only ever cried and didn't like them touching me.
A lot of time passed, and I was jealous of seeing Rudeus walking around, but I had one thing to grin about. I always laughed whenever I moved my own legs, it was a new and wonderful feeling.
I was stuck in my crib, I was crying to try and get mum to take me out since it only reminds me of my bed back at the hospital. I don't want to be alone again.
'CERES, ARE YOU OKAY?!' I heard Rudeus's voice in my mind.
We can somehow hear each other's thoughts, but we can't control it. 'I want to be in a tree!' I whined.
'Huh?' He let out.
'I'm dying.' I replied and soon after my door slammed open making me grin.
He saw me and then started to yell about hotdogs, I'm not good at reading lips.
Rudeus explained to me that I nearly died at birth. My breathing was cut off for quite a while, and the maid Lilia had to use CPR to bring me back. We guessed it must have been what made me deaf, but I don't think our parents have realised that yet.
They did call for the doctor of the village right after my birth, but he couldn't tell much if that will affect my development at all. For now, it seems I was lucky that it only affected my hearing, but he couldn't tell that I was deaf either since I was staring at him the entire time.
'Dying?' Rudeus asked me while frowning.
'Of boredom.' I laughed.
He grinned a little. 'Let me get you out.' He stared at my crib. 'How do I do that?'
'Just punch it.' I told him.
'I can't, I'm not a fighting character.' He sighed.
'Oh...that's disappointing.' I fell onto my back.
'What do you mean by that? Fighting characters are boring, dating sims are beautiful.' He informed me.
'No, they are amazing! They can kick and use their legs! They look so awesome moving around like dad!' I explained, and he was surprised by my excitement.
'Well fighting characters can also use magic and I found some magic books.' Rudeus started to explain.
I punched the crib scaring him, but it did nothing. I then looked up at the top of it and decided that I will try by myself for once.
'Hey, do-!' He went to yell in his mind.
I raised my voice I think, he did stop speaking in his mind. I pulled myself up so I was sitting now, but I know I won't be going any further at this age so I gave up and fell onto my back ready to go back to sleep.
I then felt the crib shake and looked to see Rudeus climbing up, so I sat up to watch him and he was sitting on the top bar and then grinned down at me.
'What are you doing? Do you like falling to?' I asked.
He gave a confused look. 'I'm your older brother, rely on me.' He held out his hand to me. 'Let's get out together.'
I felt warm from his words making me cry a little since being a baby I can't hold it in. 'Can I really? You won't...hurt me, right?' I trembled.
'What! Never! I'm nothing like your past mother!' He reassured me. 'I want to get you out but with no truck involved, I have had enough of those.'
I was able to sit up using the crib to help me, and he leaned more over then I was able to take his hand in mine that was tiny. 'Let's go then!' I grinned.
He smirked then tried to lift me out and failed badly, he fell in with me in the end and we both got stuck making me laugh.
Zenith discovered us and was confused, but found it cute while Lilia seemed to be praying to god for some reason seeing Rudeus near me.
She does that whenever he is near me and it looks like we are just staring at each other when we talk to each other in our minds so she's very concerned about us two.
'I'm not going to do anything to my sister. I'm not that sick of a man, she's just someone I want to protect.' Rudeus sighed.
The next day, Rudeus threw a bunch of toys and boxes into my crib, so I can climb out, he then had pillows all over the floor. 'Land on your feet, not your head.' He instructed me.
'But I don't want to lose my legs again, I will be useless again.' I complained.
He just pulled my foot, and I landed on my back. 'That wasn't an option.' He informed me.
'Well, I decided it is.' I retorted as he helped me roll onto my front, I was then off crawling making him run after me. 'I can finally move on my own! My legs work!'
He grinned at me when he caught up to me, he took me into a room with a chest. 'This is where I found the books.' Rudeus tried opening it but he was struggling. He then got inside through the little gap he can lift it up to and I was very concerned.
'Did he just die?' I panicked. 'IS IT A MIMIC CHEST?!'
'NO! I'M A GENIUS!!' Rudeus slammed the lid open from the inside and smirked as I clapped. He then got a book out, and it fell on top of him as he fell out. 'I'M DYING!'
I used my weight to push the book off him. 'Thanks.' He sighed in relief and then opened the book on the floor. 'I'm surprised there are only five books, I had thousands of them, what about you?'
'THOUSANDS?!' I freaked out making him laugh. I couldn't hear it, but his body shook repeatedly so he must be laughing or dying. 'I was given one every now and then, one was called fifty shades of red.'
'.....Weren't you like 12?' He asked me.
'No, 18, but I was five when I read it. I don't know exactly what it is, but I know what those sounds are that you talk about and that our parents are very horny.' I grinned proudly.
He patted my head, and I stared at the book. 'What- actually, is that even a language?' I asked.
'I can't read it either, they speak a different language in this world.' He informed me and I was surprised since I didn't know that.
We both took the next year to learn how to read. The doctor gave me another check-up, and we found out I can hear slightly, but it was awful. It's like some sounds are easier to hear for me and I just gave up when Rudeus informed me that the doctor said they didn't have anything to even help me with my hearing in this world.
Rudeus tried to teach me how to speak but I think that failed because he looked ready to die whenever I spoke. I was too loud and what came out of my mouth weren't even words in the end from either language I have learned.
I cried about being useless at it, but Rudeus always reassured me that since I can't hear myself there was nothing I can do, I was amazing enough already.
His encouragement helped me alot, and I started to smile more.
Our parents had caught on that I'm deaf before I got my checkup, and they were crying buckets about it when they found I actually am deaf.
Rudeus later explained to me that Zenith apologised to me for making me deaf, but it wasn't her fault. I have a new life that she has given me, that was a miracle and I HAVE LEGS THAT MOVE! AMAZING! So I'm not that useless this time.
'I can walk now, I would take that over hearing any day. I don't have to hear all those people pitying me anymore.' I was holding onto the door frame to get myself steady on my feet.
'You need to learn to walk first.' Rudeus informed me.
'I know!' I yelled in my mind and then tried speaking, but his face gave me confirmation that I failed like a boss.
I let go of the doorframe and started to take my first few steps.
Rudeus was nervous watching me just waiting for when he needed to run to me.
I took my first step making me squeal from excitement. I then took another step, and the next one was my final one since gravity wanted me back.
Rudeus caught me. 'Well done.' He praised me while I was crying and smiling.
'I always wanted to do that!' I exclaimed in my mind while shaking with joy.
'Fall?' He asked me.
'Walk then fall.' I laughed. 'I always used to just fall!'
He then poked my back, so I turned my head back to see Zenith and Paul in the doorway crying. They then hugged us tightly making me cry more and that made Paul cry more.
I finally have a caring family, being reincarnated is awesome.
Some time passed, and I was able to walk quite well, but I can't run yet. I have hit many walls trying to run, so Rudeus was making sure I was staying still by getting me to read the magic manual with him.
'I have seen some of this stuff in my old life, like-' Rudeus started to explain to me.
'THERE WAS MAGIC IN OUR LAST WORLD!!' I stared at him with my jaw wide open.
'...N- yes.' He answered making me roll around the floor excitedly. 'Now, listen, there are two ways to activate magic, incantations and magic circles, but incantations dominate the mainstream right now, there's a lot of background in this book.'
'But I'm more concerned that, according to this, your magic power is basically set in stone at birth, I doubt our genes aren't going to put in much work.' Rudeus pouted.
'Let's give it a go.' I suggested. 'I want to try a wind one.'
'Then I will try water...wait, don't you have to read it out loud?' He asked me.
'NOT FAIR!!' I yelled in my mind and whined.
He was panicking meaning I was being to loud. 'I'm doing cheat codes.' I decided.
I saw him laugh, and he started to say something as he held out his hand in front of his body. I then saw water start to appear in front of his hand making him freak out, it then drop onto the floor.
I went crawling over to a blanket and pulled on it. Rudeus put me on the blanket and pulled it over with me on it and we rubbed it onto the floor to get rid of the water.
'Shouldn't it go flying?' He asked me after we had finished cleaning up.
'Don't you need to mess up? You told me messing up is fine, you will get there eventually, like when I tried walking down the stairs yesterday?' I asked.
'...YOU FELL DOWN THE STAIRS!!' He shook me by my shoulders.
I just turned away and started to try out the wind spell called Wind Blast. I said the incantations out loud and Rudeus cringed making me glare at him, but I was just mad at myself.
This time I said the words in my mind, and it seemed like nothing was happened making me pout.
You're creating some wind, but it isn't really moving.' Rudeus put his hand near mine feeling the wind I'm making. 'Just take your own advice. You can mess up.'
I flinched because I felt piercing pain in my ears. "Ugh..." I let out and heard myself.
"She better not call herself useless again." I heard him speak but it wasn't inside my head, it was a distance away.
I looked at where it came from and saw my brother. "Tak?" I asked.
"Huh? Did you hear me?" He pointed at himself.
"Uh!" I exclaimed. "Hik! I da!"
"Amazing! You can learn to talk to!" He hugged me and I was shocked then hugged him back.
"You can let go." He informed me after a minute.
'I can decide how long the hugs go on for from what you said.' I said in my mind. "Sa no!" I laughed as tears came up from the relief of being able to hear again.
He sighed, but let me hug him for as long as I wanted to, he just read the book in the meantime. "How did the magic help you? You used wind magic."
'I know I'm special!' I informed him.
"Yeah." He responded, but his voice sounded more silent so I used more of the wind magic making his voice to loud and I could tell what my wind magic was doing.
'The wind takes the vibrations to my ears.' I explained to him as I whined from the volume of some of the noises. 'That cockroach there needs to be quiet.'
"WHERE?!" He squeaked and picked me up then ran.
As he ran, I couldn't hear anything anymore since my wind magic was back in the room making me pout, but I was relieved that there is some way for me to hear now.