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A knock on the door. Then, a voice, not too loud over the music.
—Tom? Can I come in?
Tom wasn’t sure about the answer to that question. Did he want Edd to go in the room and confront him, looking for an explanation? No. But truth be told, he also didn’t want to worry his best friend too much. With a sigh, he stood up from his bed and took his headphones off, putting a stop to the music. He walked up to the door and opened it, revealing his green hooded friend, then made way for him to go into the room. His room was dark, the lights were off, his curtains blocked whatever twilight light would project into the space, and sure, perhaps he should’ve turned the lights on as Edd walked in, but he would feel too exposed. It’s not like the other couldn’t see him, anyways (or hadn’t already).
—Hey.
—Hey.
Their voices were low. Tom had gone back to his bed, sitting on the mattress. Edd stood around for a bit, in a somewhat awkward stance, but eventually joined him and sat next to him.
—So… Do you want to talk about it?
They were avoiding eye-contact.
— … No?
—Hm. I figured.
He wasn’t forcing him to talk, but he obviously wanted him to. And it made sense, after having been quiet for an entire car ride at five in the morning. He had worried him and then been unresponsive for more than an hour, only giving him so much as a thank you. Of course he would have to address the elephant in the room soon, it was only fair. His face was hot, but he couldn’t make out whether it was from the embarrassment of having to open up, or from the burning wounds in his face.
—I’m sorry. For making you come get me at night. And worrying you.
Edd looked back at him, a little bit more confrontational, but still carrying an overall soft expression. He always did that. Tom had grown to be the tougher one, blunt and with a harsher way of saying things, but where others responded to that with aggressiveness, Edd and Matt always understood. The brunette always wanted him to be comfortable.
— … Well, I can’t say I’m not still worried, Tom. I mean, what happened? You got into a fight; I get that alright. But... —Tom lowered his head, feeling guilty.
He released a heavy breath. There were a lot of things Tom disliked. And a lot of others he actively hated. Feeling vulnerable though, should be in another category, in the “I don’t want to think about” category. He couldn’t stand the feeling.
—I don't know why you're surprised. I mean, you remember how many fights I used to get into.
—Yeah, used to. When we were like teenagers. Tom…
—Look, Edd I don’t know what to say —he cut him off—. Things were said, we were drunk, so we fought. I don’t know, things like these happen sometimes, you know that.
A beat.
— “Things were said”?
Tom couldn’t help but shut his eyes(?) for a split second, feeling as though Edd had been able to read him like a book. He hated this. Still, his best friend stopped pushing, falling quiet again. He was looking at him, Tom could feel his eyes scanning him even if he didn’t meet his gaze. Then, shortly after, Edd scooted closer and raised his hand a little. Right about when Tom turned his head to face him, the hand was gently placed on his cheek, almost caressing him, and then moved to his chin.
—We should probably get these cleaned —the wounds in his face itched more knowing they were being looked at. From cuts, to bruises, to some reddened areas and blood, though he had tried to clean some off with water. His eyes switched to Tom’s hands, as he brought his left hand to hold his, gently inspecting his bruised knuckles—. Anywhere else?
Tom’s heart felt trapped in his chest through the exchange.
—Yeah… Prolly’ got a couple more bruises all over.
Edd brought his right hand to where the left one was and started tracing Tom’s knuckles with his thumbs softly.
—Wait for me here? I’ll be right back.
Tom nodded, and with that, Edd stood back up and got out of the room, leaving the door slightly open and allowing for the corridor’s light to sweep in.
He looked back at his injured hands, still tingling from how Edd’s had held them. It’s curious how, despite both having grown up and changed through the years, their relationship had barely morphed. Tom remembers being a teenager, and being angry at the world because it hadn’t treated him fairly, because he had it hard. But he also remembers hanging out with Edd, back when his hair covered his eyes, reading comics together, playing videogames on the ps2 or just watching Edd draw and hyping him up even though he was still learning. He remembers the nervousness, the feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever the two of them were alone and Edd smiled at him.
Edd came back with a bottle of saline solution, wipes, and gauze pads, as well as some larger bandages. He set them on the bed and went back to close the door, but he stopped abruptly and looked back at him.
—Actually, is it okay if I leave the door a bit open? I’m gonna need some light…
He remembers the days where he first started questioning and trying to figure himself out.
—Yeah, ‘s alright.
Edd sat back down and began preparing the materials to clean his wounds, starting by his hands. He worked gently, trying not to hurt him too much. His hands were precise, just like the artist he was.
He remembers being eighteen and admitting to himself that he had a crush on his best friend.
—Edd, I could do this myself, you know. You didn’t have to…
—Well, maybe. But I’m not sure if you would’ve done it, really —he said, accusing—. Besides, I want to help you.
There was a period of time when Tom thought those feelings had dissipated. Now however, he wasn’t so sure anymore. He thinks he may have got too used to them to notice, but he’s hyper aware now, as Edd sits in his bed and takes care of him. He never told him what he felt. And perhaps he never will, because the thought terrifies him to death.
Edd had finished bandaging up his hands, so he let go of them. Tom was nervous, though he didn’t know whether his best friend could tell or not. Edd waited for him, because they both knew that his face was next. So Edd prepared more saline solution and waited for him, he was letting him get ready too. The air felt incredibly tense, but at this point Tom didn’t know if he was just imagining things.
—Okay. Stay still now, alright?
He started applying it and though it stung a little, Tom was far more affected by his current inner conflict. Edd was very close, he could see the tinge of sadness in his eyes while he tended to his wounds, and the silence was almost deafening. He couldn’t take it. He took a deep breath.
— They said some stuff. And then made it about me. And I… didn’t want it to end up like this, but it made me so mad. I’m sorry. I know you hate when I drink, and to do this…
Edd put a pause on what he was doing.
—Oh- well, I’m not mad at you. I mean, I knew you didn’t start that fight, but I just worry that you bottle up. I’m here for you, if you have problems, or anything going on I just want you to know that you can tell me. It’ll make you feel better than just locking yourself in, I hope. And it’ll also make me feel better.
Tom wasn’t too sure about that, because the second part of that sentence almost made his hands start shaking violently. So he focused on the other part.
—How were you so sure I hadn’t started the fight?
—Come on, Tom. I know you run your mouth a little when you’re drunk, but you’re not an asshole. Those guys though? Probably were.
The mentioned chuckled quietly. He was staring back at Edd now, feeling a tad braver.
—Yeah. You don’t even know half of it.
—Well, I’m not pressuring you, but you know. If you want to catch me up on that, I’m all ears —Edd went back to his task, holding Tom’s chin between his fingers again to keep him from moving. He was still tense from the overall situation, but he was starting to feel like a weight had been lifted out of his shoulders—. Oh and, Tom?
—Yeah?
—You did teach those guys a lesson though, right?
He smirked. They both did. Tom couldn’t believe how easily Edd had brought his mood up, it was comforting to know that hadn’t changed over the years.
—Hah. You best believe I fucked them up, they had to run away.
—Hm, that’s my guy.
Edd finished disinfecting putting bandages on Tom’s cuts after a while. Before he could sweep away though, Tom held his arm by the wrist, then as he got Edd’s attention, he slipped his hand into his friend’s and held it tenderly.
—Thank you, Edd. I don’t know where I’d be without you. I mean it.
Edd smiled with a fond expression, and still holding Tom’s hand, he flopped forward, resting his head on Tom’s shoulder, in a sort of embrace.
—I’m so glad you’re okay. You’re too important to me.
Tom’s heart rate accelerated as he let those words sink in. Still caressing the other’s hand, he let his own head touch Edd’s, and they remained like that in silence for a while. Though the silence wasn’t threatening like before, it sort of cradled them in the moment. Tom remembers a time just like this, back when they were 17 and they needed each other's comfort. They were different. The time was different. But the feeling was exactly the same. Edd let go of Tom’s hand and put his arms around him, hugging him lightly. He wondered if Edd also remembered, and if it would ever stop being an unspoken memory.
And he wondered if in the future, they’d remember this moment in the same way.