Chapter Text
Aretuza’s halls were quiet at this time, everyone was surely in bed, but you needed to practice. You had arrived here a little over a year ago, and to this day, Tissaia had been obnoxiously scolding you; these past weeks had been brutal, and she was even more intense with every little thing you did. Nitpicking on the stupidest of mistakes you made.
Since your arrival, you have learned Telepathy and Telekinesis, whereas most of the other students have already learned double that!
You didn't understand why you were so behind from the rest; the last thing you remember truthfully was waking up in a warm bed with Tissaia looking over you. The woman was intimidating and resilient, she was demanding and commanding. You were a troublemaker in her eyes. Whereas the other girls would simply take her cruel words without question, you fought back!
"She still on your case?"
"When isn't she? I have this huge target on my back, Triss." You say. You both had thought utilizing the Greenhouse when no one was around a better idea, besides not having Tissaia near to judge you was a plus.
“I just don’t understand what I did to her?” you began once more. “Lily’s far worse, and she doesn’t even bat an eye when she can’t conjure a portal. But I can’t brew a potion in botany, and she goes apeshit?” you sigh. The frustration was getting to you.
“Maybe she’s just like that with you because she cares?” Rolling your eyes, you grab the first flask and open the book needed for the spell.
You scoff. “Yeah, sure, Tissaia cares so much; she’s doing this to help me!” It was one thing to be hated by the woman who brought you here, but having Triss say she cares was insulting in the least. “I just hate always having to walk on eggshells for the woman.”
“Maybe if you took another approach?” Triss commented as she opened her book and turned to page 213. “Instead of always butting heads with her, why don’t you try―”
“Seriously?” You say, cutting Triss off.
“What? It’s true. You always tell her off or have an annoying comeback when she tried to teach you something―”
“I tell her off because of her tone and attitude towards me. She hates me! She never once raised her voice or talked down to you or the other girls!”
“All I’m saying is that this frustration and acting out isn’t going to make her like you like you so desperately want.” You freeze, turning around slowly. Eyes as wide as saucers.
“Excuse me?” Triss is taken aback. Never had she seen you this angry.
“I don’t have to be a telepath to know you clearly like the rectoress. I mean, everyone can―”
“What the fuck are you saying?” Your brows furrowed questionably, tilting your head to the side annoyingly, “You think I like Tissaia?”
“I guess that’s what I’m saying, yes.” Triss starts, “You won’t shut up about the woman; it’s Tissaia this, Tissaia that. ‘Oh, Tissaia said this to me today,’ ‘Do you know what Tissaia did to me again?’” Triss says, chuckling, “Felicia and I have a bet that you’ll finally come to your senses and jump the woman.” Your mouth remained agape, and you could feel your whole body flushing with embarrassment. The rectoress was an annoying woman, cold as ice, and exceptionally strict, but that did something to you. You had never realized your feelings until this very moment. Triss had to draw you a picture. You were so oblivious.
“Tissaia’s always on your case. The woman never starts a lecture before getting a rattle out of you. She either hates you or likes you. But, for your information, you don’t tease someone you hate.”
“She doesn’t tease me!” You say immediately, almost taken aback by your quick answer.
“Of course not. That’s all in our heads.” It was Triss’s turn to roll her eyes. “You honestly believe she hates you, don’t you?” Taking a moment to think about Triss’s question, did you honestly believe that?
“I don’t know, but the next time I see her, I’ll ask―”
“Ask me what?”
You both freeze as you hear the rectoress's voice. The woman approaches the both of you, picking up your book and looking at the page’s content.
“Triss, leave us.” you still, locking eyes with her shaking my head ‘no’ as Triss simply gives you an apologetic look and walks out of the Greenhouse.
“Hydromancy,” Tissaia says stoically, dropping your book back on the table as her head turns towards you.
“Go get a large bowl.” I frown. “Today!” Lifting her left eyebrow in a challenging manner, the woman signals me with her head to move faster.
Pursing your lips, you move to the back of the room; opening a cupboard, you retrieve a sizeable wooden bowl and return to Tissaia.
“Now, you wish to learn hydromancy?” ‘This would have been the perfect opportunity for you to tell her ‘duh.’ Your annoying comeback would have rattled her, so why not try what Triss said? To just be nice!’
“Yes,” 'Maybe if you chose a different approach?' “I can see the images, but they don’t make sense.” You say truthfully, and Tissaia gives you the softest smile.
"Finally, a little opening up," Pursing her lips in a smirk, she continues. "You're overthinking; if you can see the images but cannot understand them, it’s only because of your constant need to control things. You need to let go."
"How can I do that when I don't even know I'm doing it?" I begin. "It's not like I can just turn off a switch and not overthink―"
"Well, isn't that why you're here?” She says, cutting you off, “To learn how to control your thoughts and emotions so you don't become them?"
"I'm here because of you―" You stop. If you were ever to have a normal relationship with this woman, you also needed to work on yourself. "Fine, teach me to control my thoughts and emotions, rectoress! I'm sorry―"
“Don’t be sorry. Do better for next time,” Tissaia counters back, darting her gaze toward your lips and then back to your eyes.
You find yourself stilling. It really should upset you; the woman was acting like a child and should infuriate you– however, she had once again offered to help even though you had been rude to her.
“Now, will you behave for once in your life and listen to me?” You nod repeatedly. “Good. Now come here and read my thoughts in the water bowl.”
“You want me to ‘read your thoughts?” You tilt your head questionably, frowning again. You swear this woman would give you premature wrinkles and white hair.
Smirking, “Well…” Tissaia continues, “You’ll try.” Pursing your lips and responding carelessly.
“‘You’ll try’ “Pfff.” You echo Tissaia teasingly.
Tissaia chuckles and stands at the ready. “Let’s see how good you really are.”
You exhale from your nose and narrow your eyes at the water-filled bowl. You were trying to prove a point, that you could do this, that you deserved to be here. Biting the inside of your bottom lip, you lean forward, hoping this might help. What were you even looking for―?
“Are you even trying?” Tissaia says annoyingly, and your head turns towards the woman. “I told you I need help with this―”
“Move closer to it,” The older woman says as she slowly strides behind you. “Look into the water; what do you see? What is the first thing that you feel?” Tissaia’s hands gently rest on your shoulders, and you still, the woman had never touched you before, sure there was the usual slapping of your hand when you didn’t do a spell correctly, but this was gentle, caring even. “Tell me what you see.” She whispers, moving her hands from your shoulders, sliding them the length of your arm, then back up again. You can feel Tissaia’s breath on the back of your neck.
You shudder. It almost felt like Tissaia was casting a sleeping spell on you. “I see you smoking your pipe, and you’re in your office....” Breathing was becoming more demanding.
“What else?” Tissaia murmurs as she moves your hair, exposing your neck, “Tell me…” Tissaia whimpers, leaning in to kiss your neck. The sensation was exhilarating; moaning in approval, you leaned your head back, allowing Tissaia more room. The fire you felt burning in your veins was nothing compared to the fire you felt in your core.
“You’re talking with someone… me, it’s me in your office with you… you’re giving me something….”
“I’d give you whatever you’d want,” Tissaia says, her voice huskier and more captivating than you’d ever heard, and this was doing a lot of things to you. Instantly, that burning desire you felt in your core gave you courage, and you arched your back into Tissaia’s front, eliciting a loud moan from the older woman as she turned your head and captured your lips―
“Are you even trying?” You blink several times as you back away from the water-filled bowl. Your cheeks and neck were flushed, and your pupils dilated.
What the fuck had just happened?
“Did you see something?” Tissaia asks, raising an eyebrow. You had succeeded; you had seen something you could only dream possible.
“I saw you and I talking… talking about― the upcoming ascension ball...” Tissaia narrows her eyes,
“Is that why you’re sweating and all flushed?”
“I―I, a boy then came and kissed me….”
A boy? Really?
Tissaia raises an eyebrow and purses her lips in a smirk. “Really? Well, aren’t you lucky?” With the swift movement of her hand, Tissaia has the water-filled bowl disappear. “That’s enough lesson for today. At least now the images were clear!” you nod, refusing to look at her,
“Thank you― eh, for the lesson.” You gently respond, your skin slightly blushing as you dare to look up at her. She had kept her smirk, probably knowing what you had seen was a complete and utter lie.
“I’ll see you during class tomorrow, yes?” Tissaia replies. You nod and signal with your thumb over your shoulder, “I should get going!”
As you reach the door, you look back at the older woman, “Thanks again, Tissaia!”
The walk back to your room was quick. As you closed the door, you leaned back onto it, sighing. You needed to take a moment and breathe. What the fuck had you just seen?
' Triss, I need to talk. Can we go to the market?' You telepathically ask her,
' Of course, let's meet at the entrance!'
***
The market was reasonably close, consisting of several shops with a tavern. They sold everything. As apprentices, we would make money inside Aretuza. We would work different stations, sometimes the kitchen and stables, but most of the time, we would clean.
It didn't pay well, but the little money we did receive went to purchasing new dresses and sometimes makeup.
"Would you like to have an ale at the tavern later?" Triss asked as we looked through a dress rack.
"Sure…" You answered nervously.
"What's wrong? You seem distracted,” Triss says, turning to face you, “Did something happen with Tissaia?”
You sigh without looking up at her, “Can I be honest with you?”
“Always,” Triss answers, gently placing a hand on your shoulder, reassuringly inviting you to look up at her.
“Promise you won’t tell a soul?”
“I promise.” The redhead says confidently. You take several seconds before answering, almost as if you were waiting for her to, you didn’t know, slip up and tell you she actually would tell the world.
“I like Tissaia,”
Nothing,
“Did you hear me?” A questioning expression consumes your entire face.
“Yes, I heard you, but it isn’t something I didn’t know already. I told you this exact thing a few hours ago. I’m really surprised you didn’t realize it sooner.” You look down, embarrassed. How had you not seen this? Were you so blind toward your feelings for the older woman? “It’s alright to have a crush on her. Most of the girls here do,” Triss continues giving you a soft smile. “Did she tell you something when I left?” Shaking your head, ‘no,’ you purse your lips.
“No, she was accommodating, and I did follow your advice. I ‘shut up’ and accepted her help. I finally got to see a vision in the water. Remember how I’d always see images, but they never meant anything?” Triss nods, “Well, now I saw the whole thing,” You sigh, “As if I was living it.”
“What did you see?” You stiffen. You knew Triss would inevitably ask what you say. You needed to think fast. Would you risk telling her the truth or lying as you had with Tissaia?
“I saw her walking behind me, rubbing my arms, then moving my hair to kiss my neck, and then she kissed me.” You blabber out quickly.
Triss’s eyes widen. “Okay, well, that’s pretty specific. Usually, with Hydromancy, you see images of places, as in a room, the people involved, not an actual played-out scene―”
“It felt like it was really happening to me, I can’t explain it, but it felt so real. I was pretty surprised when it hadn’t.” You move closer to Triss, gulping while looking around for prying eyes or ears. “What does it mean? How could I have seen ‘that’ on my first successful attempt at Hydromacy?”
“I don’t know, and the only person you can ask will need to see your memory―”
“I’m not doing that!” You say sternly, “I already lied to her, saying something else happened. She can’t know Triss.”
“Hey, don’t worry, I’m taking this to the grave!” The redhead says, grabbing your shoulder and pulling you close to her in a tight side hug,
“Come on, we need a drink!”
****
“You really think she finds me cute?” You’re conscious that, even with all the food you both had gotten, the ale you’d been drinking still affected you immensely. To some degree, each word that left your mouth had a slur.
Triss laughs, a genuine beautiful laugh, “She finds you more than cute, trust me!”
You smile widely and raise your drink, “To crushing on teachers!”
“Merigold, Y/L/N,”
The sound of your last names being snapped resounds throughout the whole tavern. Everyone looks in your direction, and both your heads snap at the sound of Tissaia’s voice. Instantly sobering up, you both jump out of your chairs and face the rectoress.
“With me. Now! ” Tissaia barks as she turns around and is already halfway across the tavern heading towards the exit before either of you even thinks of following her.
“Crap, we’re dead,” Triss says as you fumble in your pocket, trying to grab coins to pay for your drinks and food. As you place them on the table, you look back at the older woman waiting for you both at the door. “We better get moving,”
We quietly follow Tissaia back toward Aretuza. You felt the cold night air throughout your whole body, or was this Tissaia’s doing? She had never looked so angry, and once again, you were involved. You walked like scolded puppies, terrified of what your master would do when you got home.
Tissaia doesn’t utter a word or even give us the courtesy of turning around. She simply walks, head held high. Entering the walls of Aretuza, the woman finally acknowledges us. Turning around sternly, you both take a step backward, stunned. “Would you mind telling me why you thought getting drunk in a tavern at this hour was a good idea?”
“We didn’t mean to rectoress. We simply wanted―”
“You may leave us, Triss,” Tissaia interrupts her with a sharp look. When Triss doesn’t move, Tissaia raises an eyebrow in challenge. “You are dismissed .”
Triss once again offers you a sympathetic look before moving down the hallway back to her room.
“I’m sorry.”
Tissaia blinks, looking at you surprised for several seconds before her face turns cold again. “You know how mages are seen throughout the continent? We are not welcome everywhere, and tonight you both were reckless and―”
“You never told us not to go!” Your stupid drunken brain blurts out. Why did you think it was now required to point out that the older woman had never specifically told you not to go outside the school?
“Excuse me?”
“You never ordered us not to go. You only said it wasn’t safe; clearly, we didn’t die. Nothing happened!” Naturally, digging your own grave with this woman was something you immensely enjoyed doing, it seemed. Tissaia’s eyes widen at your words in bewilderment for a moment. “Well, trust me when I tell you now, since you seem to believe it’s perfectly normal to ignore my demands that I will order you to stay in Aretuze next time. Your little days off will be spent studying instead of drinking, my dear.”
“You can’t do that! You can’t force me to stay inside!” You cry back annoyingly. Anger was rising in your voice as you listened to Tissaia’s words. Who did she think she was?
“I am the rectoress of this school. If I wanted to, I could order you to face a wall for days.” Tissaia hissed. The echoes of our voices bounced throughout the halls. “You will no longer go to the market unsupervised.”
“I’m not a fucking child, Tissaia,”
“Then stop acting like one!”
Defeated, you look away, forcing your eyes not to cry. You could never win with this woman. “I know I’m not as capable or as good as the other girls here, and I still have so much to learn. I just never thought you’d see me as less of a person, incapable of doing anything right,” Your jaw clenched; you had this on your chest for a while now. You just wanted to disappear.
“Y/N,” Tissaia forces herself to say, “I didn’t mean… I…That’s not what I…”
“Don’t worry, rectoress, I won’t leave these precious walls of yours anymore,” You say coldly, your voice void of any emotions, “I’ll stay inside and be the perfect little bitch you want me to be.” I push past Tissaia angrily, opening a portal to my room. I couldn’t get away from this woman fast enough.
“Goddamnit!” Tissaia barks as she feels the rage of having fought with you again rise. You both had made such progress this morning and to have it all fail miserably was getting to the older woman.
“Trouble in paradise?”
Tissaia spins around at the voice of Stregobor, seeing the man standing at an archway to another hall. He looked sinister as ever, with his hands clamped behind his back.
“What?”
Stregobor snarls, stepping closer to Tissaia, “Your little protogé will undoubtedly get what’s coming to her―”
The man’s instantly pushed to the wall, held in place by Tissaia’s magic, “ You will cease with your idiotic words! ” She screams as Stregobor struggles to break free. Tissaia’s rage overshadows her good sense as she almost crushes his windpipe.
“Tissaia! Stop!” Vilgefortz exclaimed as he grabbed her arm in a way for her to release Stregobor. Tissaia relents after several seconds and releases the man.
“You crazy bitch!” Stregobor wheezed, rubbing his throat. “You won’t be able to protect your pet forever,” He said, rubbing his throat as he got up and walked away.
“Stregobor won’t forget this anytime soon. You need to be careful with him, not only for you but for―.”
“Do not lecture me!” Tissaia snaps, cutting Vilgefotz off and moving away from his touch. “He knows perfectly well I care for all my girls―”
“One more than the others,” Vilgefotz cuts in, walking to Tissaia’s side, and placing a soft, gentle hand on her shoulder. “Learn to control your anger. He will always push your buttons when it comes to her―”
“You know why she needs protecting,” Tissaia retorts.
“I do, but from someone else’s perspective, it might seem more than favoritism. The girl worships you and talks about you constantly. Even though it’s not always in the kindest of ways, she still does. The other students have started noticing. Gossip travels fast here, Tissaia. You’d be wise to tell her sooner rather than later.”
“She will know after her enchantment.”
“She needs to know before. You know she won’t take this news lightly.”
Tissaia sighs, pursing her lips before speaking again. “I will tell her after her enchantment and not a second before. Is that understood?”
“Understood.”