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Up And At ‘Em

Summary:

The morning of Max’s birthday, which he may or may not have forgotten about.

Notes:

DAY LATE BC OF THE DDOSING BUT YKNOW WHAT WE MOB

second sam & max fic and i’ve once again written them all eating breakfast together. uhm. it’s just a very domestic thing to do okay? okay

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The bothersome alarm clock that Sam insisted they get beeped on and on in the not-so-early hours of the morning. Max hoped Sam would wake up and turn it off, but after about three seconds of no movement from him, the lagomorph took matters into his own hands. He had half a mind to pull out his luger and shoot at the thing, but that would definitely earn them another noise complaint and that’s the last thing he wants to deal with. A small part of him knows that he’s just making up an excuse so he doesn’t sound sappy admitting that he just doesn’t want to wake the canine up with a gunshot three feet from his face. But that small part is very dumb and doesn’t know what it’s talking about, so it gets shoved down deep inside.

Instead, he pulls out a hammer from hell knows where. Unfortunately, the alarm clock is situated on a nightstand to the left of the bed, where Sam sleeps. Which means Max has to leave the comfort of the blankets and sit up to take aim. He tilted his head, closed one eye, and stuck his tongue out. And a one, and a two…

The hammer went sailing through the air, the top of it hitting the clock’s digital face and sending both of them toppling to the floor. The ensuing crash was loud, to say the least. But hey, it was better than a gun! Sam didn’t even jolt awake that much. As the dog’s eyes snapped open, Max flopped back into bed, now face-to-face with his partner.

“You sleep like a rock,” Max stated, a rare closed mouth smile on his face.

“Did you break our alarm clock again?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Other than the loud banging sounds that startled me awake, something’s telling me if I turn around I’m gonna see a busted clock on my nightstand.”

Well, technically, he wouldn’t, since the clock ended up somewhere behind the nightstand. He didn’t even think about hiding the evidence like that. His own mind astonished him sometimes.

“It was in the way.”

“In the way of what?”

“My hammer.”

Max finally grinned up at his tired partner, who simply patted his head and planted a kiss between his ears. “You’re lucky it’s your birthday.”

Max blinked. “It is?”

“…Yes? I reminded you yesterday, chowderhead.”

He thinks he recalls it now, vaguely. Something about a birthday that he wasn’t really paying attention to. Sometimes Sam will say something out loud to Max when they’re just kicking it in the office and it’s less that he wants Max to know and more that he wants to remind himself out loud. He just assumed it was one of those times.

“It’s so sweet that you remembered, Sammy. Makes me wanna hurl.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Do you wanna get a cake after work?”

“Is that even a question? Actually, I think I’m also owed a few corn dogs for such a special occasion.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Alright, but don’t let this go to your head. It’s only for your birthday.”

“That just means I’ve gotta milk it for all it’s worth! I only get two a year!”

Sam chuckled, pulling Max into his chest and wrapping his arms around him. Max happily soaked up the cuddles, allowing the tranquility of the morning suburbs to wash over the room. The only sounds in the room were their own breathing, but soon Max heard the steady thump of Sam’s tail against the mattress. Max wanted to make fun of it, but he’s sure Sam had his own slew of blackmail that he’d rather not be reminded of. Knowing someone your whole life was often a blessing and a curse, he supposed.

“Do you smell bacon?” Sam asked suddenly.

Max sniffs the air, and… yep, there it is. “Maybe there’s a crook breaking into people’s houses and cooking all their bacon.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Or maybe it’s just our daughter making some breakfast for herself?”

“Oh yeah. Maybe. But if it’s a bacon burglary I wanna take the first shot!” Max pushed himself away from Sam and hopped out of bed. He bounced on his heels as he waited for Sam to do the same. Then he just as quickly decided he couldn’t wait and moved towards the bedroom door himself.

The bedroom door was lightly pushed open, just enough for Max to poke his head out. It was only then that he caught the scent of not only bacon, but pancakes as well. Max turned to look at Sam, his usual shark-toothed grin plastered on his face. “We’ve got a breakfast bandit on the loose, Sam.”

“Don’t get too excited, pal,” was Sam’s reply. He pushed the door open further, and only managed to take one tiny step before Max was rushing past, running out of the bedroom just to say he was out first.

Sam, used to his partner’s antics, didn’t grace the display with a reply. Instead, he walked down the short hallway towards the kitchen. Max followed closely behind.

As Sam had guessed, it was not someone with a death wish that had broken into the kitchen of the freelance police. It was the Geek, who was indeed cooking bacon on the stove. On the counter beside her, a small tower of pancakes stood neatly on a plate. There was even a plate of scrambled eggs next to it. Huh, this was a lot of food, even for him. And especially for Geek. It was almost like–

“See Max, what’d I tell you?” Sam said, startling Geek slightly. She whipped her head around and saw Sam and Max standing in the doorway.

“I really thought you were gonna be a burglar,” Max admitted with poorly hidden disappointment.

“Good morning to you, too,” she replied dryly. “I was making you breakfast, but I guess if you don’t want it…”

Max’s ears shot straight up. “You wouldn’t.”

Geek swept up the plate of pancakes, holding them loftily. “Wouldn’t I?”

“Alright, alright!” He shouted, but quickly composed himself. “Thank you for breakfast. I didn’t actually want you to be a burglar.”

“That’s more like it.” Geek tried to hold a smug grin, but it soon broke and gave way to a much more sincere smile. “Happy birthday, Max.” She turned back to the food, returning the pancakes to their place and placing the bacon on yet another plate that Max hadn’t noticed originally.

“You need any help over there, Geek?” Sam asked.

“Nah, I’ve got it. You two just relax.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Max said, already pulling out his chair from the kitchen table and hopping up into it. Sam soon followed, striking up conversation in an attempt to fill the silence, which Max happily indulged.

It was after a few minutes of talk that Geek finally finished breakfast, carrying over the three plates of food as well as empty plates and utensils. Max didn’t even bother waiting at first, opting to grab the first pancake off the stack and dig into it with his hands, like Mother Nature intended.

 

“Thanks again Geek. Breakfast was great,” Sam said when he had his fill.

“Yeah! Best birthday breakfast ever!”

Geek flushed, clearly embarrassed by the praise. “It was nothing guys, really.”

Then there was a lull in conversation. Max wasn’t exactly known for dealing with the silence well, and he was already gearing up to break it when Sam beat him to the punch. “I should probably get ready. Whaddya say we leave in 30 minutes?”

“The clothes-wearer has to go change. Can you believe this guy?” Max jeered, pointing his thumb at Sam.

“Max, you’re the only one who doesn’t wear clothes in this family.”

The lagomorph crossed his arms. “My point still stands.”

Sam ruffled Max’s fur, with just a bit of force that silently told him to knock it off. “I’ll be quick.” Then, he looked over at Geek. “You coming with us to the office today?”

She shook her head. “I’ve got some stuff to finish up here.”

Sam shrugged. “Suit yourself.” And just like that, he walked off towards the bedroom.

Which left yet another lull. Max sat at the table, silently hoping Sam wasn’t actually going to take half an hour to get ready. He sat patiently and relatively still, basically twiddling his thumbs for a few moments before he decided he was sick of waiting around. But once again, he was beaten to the punch.

“Hey, Max?” Geek’s voice pulled his attention. In her hands was a small box, wrapped in bright orange wrapping paper and tied together with a white bow. She seemed much more interested in the floor, with the way she was looking down at it rather pointedly. Or maybe he was just horrifying to look at. He tended to have that effect on people.

“Is that for me?” He asked, pointing at the gift, because he didn’t really know what else to say. She nodded. He took that as an invitation to grab it, excitedly ripping into the paper and opening the box.

He pulled out a small, black dome, with tiny holes all over it. It reminded him of a pasta strainer. He stared at it in confusion. Surely this couldn’t be it, right? Unless Geek was just pulling his leg, but something told him that might not be the case.

“Hold on,” Geek finally said, grabbing it from his hands. She flipped the object around to its flat side. As she fiddled with something he couldn’t quite see, the room was suddenly aglow with multicolored lights that all seemed to be coming from the holes in the little dome. “It might be hard to see, since it’s morning and all, but it’s a light projector.”

A button pressed, and the rainbow light show switched. The room was now covered in stars.

“I didn’t really know what to get you. It took a lot of thinking, because I didn’t just want to go out and buy you something. I mean, I’ve built a giant robot that looks like you! I should be able to do, well, something.”

Max was nodding along as she continued to ramble. He was too mesmerized by the projector to say anything. He was also very much ignoring the fact that he may or may not be on the verge of tears. To better hide this fact, he quickly pulled Geek into a hug, also effectively cutting her off. When he pulled away, he shot her a large grin. “I love it, Geek, really.”

“Alright, I think I’m ready.” Sam finally and all-too-conveniently entered the room, straightening out his tie.

“Sam! Lookit what Geek built me!” He held up the projector excitedly for Sam to take a look at. “It’s a neat little light show that fits in the palm of my hand!” Technically the projector was a bit bigger than his palm, but eh. Who was he to argue semantics? Especially on his birthday?

“Hey, that’s cool,” Sam said with a smile.

The phone rang.

“I got it!” Max shouted, tossing the projecting onto the table and bolting out of his seat and off towards the living room. Sam caught up quickly, and before the lagomorph knew it he was being pinned to the floor by Sam’s foot. Not even on his birthday can he answer the phone, huh?

“Hello? Uh-huh. Yep. Really? No! Holy hotcakes trampled by horses, we’re on it!”

“Was that who I think it was?”

“It was the Commissioner, Max. He said he has a particularly hair-raising case for us up in the Bronx, which may or may not involve rats pulling off grand heists and selling what they get in shady back-alley deals. Oh, and he says happy birthday.”

“Aww, he remembered! He really does care.”

Sam took his foot off Max’s back, but before he could react he was being picked up and tossed on Sam’s shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

“Well, duty calls! We’ll be back before dinner.”

“I’ll be here if you need me,” Geek said, giving a quick wave to the pair. “Happy birthday again, Max.”

“Thanks Geek! You’re the best! Bye!” Max yelled, waving over Sam’s shoulder as he rushed out the door.

Notes:

thanks for reading!

it’s kinda funny i stayed up till like 4 am finishing this and then when i woke up 4 hours later i found out i did not need to do that bc the site was down the whole day. very funny. i’m choosing to believe max was behind the whole thing.

anyway follow me everywhere @ robeofstars i am rotating sam & max around in my brain at mach speed and i post fanart of them!! im kinda cool i think