Chapter Text
She was surrounded by darkness.
She was pretty sure she had her eyes open. Or did she?
Was she dead?
She vaguely remembers Beatrice telling her to be free.
She could not be dead. Last time she died, she could not think, she could not remember. Last time she died, she did not exist anymore.
She tried to sit up. She didn’t know if she was resting on the floor or someplace else. Would she fall if she moved?
She pushed her hands behind her to sit herself up. She groaned. The divinium shards in her abdomen reacted to her movement, casting a soft glow in the otherwise dark space.
She squinted her eyes, desperate to make out her surroundings.
Nothing. As far as she could see, she was met with emptiness.
She shivered. Was she cold?
She rubbed her hands together. She did not feel cold.
She had half a mind to call for Beatrice, she needed to speak her name, maybe to signal a promise of her return to her.
She kept quiet. She did not know if she was alone.
She probably was.
Right?
She took a deep breath.
Beatrice had taken her to the portal so she could be healed, she would be extremely mad if no one showed up to help her.
Should she shout for Reya?
Reya! I’m here!
She felt stupid. Of course, Reya would know that she had infiltrated her realm. Was she staying away on purpose? Would she even agree to help her?
She coughed, her body contorting with each exhale.
Fuck. Fuck you and your semantics!
She was angry.
She had detonated a divinium bomb and hurt herself in the process for nothing. If she knew Reya would show up with her Tarasks, she wouldn’t have done it. Damn you Reya. She would give her a piece of her mind when she decided to show up.
She had left the woman she loved behind; she had left before she could tell her she loved her too. But she had to. Right? Beatrice was definitely in love with her.
Right?
She thought back to the collection of memories they had created together. The care and affection with which Beatrice handled her could only be testimonies of her love.
Right?
She winced. Her wounds were lighting up.
She winced. She remembered their conversation on the balcony. If I left, would you come with me? She had been expectant, foolish, but hopeful. No, I can’t. That was all it took for her to know she had to right her wrongs.
Since receiving the Halo, she had felt guilt for so many things. She had felt guilt for having received it right after their friend had died, for causing Lilith’s trip to hell, for releasing Adriel, for failing to protect Mary, hell even for fighting with the Samaritans. But the things she felt the most guilt for was having derailed Beatrice’s focus from her mission. For whatever reason, Beatrice had allowed her in and she was greedy. She wanted more of Beatrice, she thought Beatrice would want more of her. And maybe she did. But Beatrice was also devoted to the Order, she was a nun that had been training for a better part of the decade to protect the halo and stop evil from overtaking the earth. She had put a dent in Beatrice’s work. She had stopped her from completing what she had set to do and this was a fact she could not live with. So she agreed to Miguel’s plan (or should she call him Michael? It still felt weird). She thought if she sacrificed herself, Beatrice would forgive her for loving her, she would forgive her the domesticity and familiarity they had built together.
But her sacrifice was worthless. Adriel had not died with her, instead being annihilated by Reya’s army of Tarasks, leaving her withering on the floor, Beatrice’s tears the only taste in her mouth.
She slapped her palm to the surface beneath her.
Fuck you universe. Or whoever was behind it all.
She struggles to take a breath, her injuries flaring up.
Now would be a good time to show up Reya. Really.
She felt a soft breeze caressing her cheeks. Her chest was warm. Was this how death felt in this realm? She shivered again.
A burst of light exploded from her back. She was not trying to activate the Halo, she was not sure she even had enough energy to do so.
I know you can’t heal divinium pal. I think I made my peace with it.
Bullshit. She had not. She had not found the enlightenment of death or whatever crap Miguel had told her. In death, she found insurmountable sorrow. The life she had desperately wanted to live had been taken away from her yet again. She felt her tears on her cheeks. She wished she could at least have Beatrice here, holding her in her arms, easing her into death from the warmth of her embrace.
She could make peace with death if she could die in Beatrice’s arm.
Or maybe not.
But she would rather have that than be here all alone, wilting away with no one to kiss her goodbye.
She felt the breeze again. This was it. This was the moment she would finally exude her final breath and lay to rest. She had deserved the rest. She had earned it.
She squeezed her eyes. Is this death going to be painful?
The warmth in her chest amplified. Pain in her abdomen reminded her of her mortality.
Suddenly, she felt a shadow settle over her abdomen. The shadow prodded and pinched. She started screaming. Her throat hurt. She could feel something trickle down her legs under her armor. Was she bleeding? The pain intensified. She wished she had a hand to hold through this. Beatrice’s soft face flashed before her eyes. She latched unto the image, willing it to materialize before her.
The shadow was back. This time, it held her injured flesh together, inching what felt like a needle in. She screamed. How long was this going to last? Hadn’t she suffered enough? Didn’t she deserve to die and be free?
I love you.
The breeze seemed to have become a sound. A sound so similar to Beatrice’s voice, a sound carrying her accent and her emotions. Was she so far gone that she could hallucinate a confession? Was this Reya’s answer to her plea of not wanting to be alone?
The shadow laid a gentle touch to her abdomen, it almost felt like a kiss.
The pain had subsided. She took an easy breath.
She sat up.
She was not dead.
Not yet at least.
She wanted to tear her hair out in frustration. How did Miguel survive this place? Did he go mad?
The Halo whirred in her back. It surprised her. It was as if she was not the one controlling it.
I’m glad to see I still have an effect on it.
She looked up, although she did not exactly know where to. The voice seemed to be coming from everywhere.
Reya? Is that you? I’m all for a game of hide and seek but give a girl a break.
The Halo whirred again, this time, light shone from her back in a steady hue.
I see you have recovered. It was a good decision for you to join me here, your lover did right by you.
She blushed. She wanted to correct her, but it felt pointless.
Thank you for your help.
The voice did not answer immediately. She thought she was back to being alone.
It was not a selfless act. There is a price you must pay.
A price?
Prove yourself to me so I can show you the truth.
She heard a sword clang next to her legs. It lit up. She hesitated to grab it, if only for a second. She reached out to it and clasped the hilt. As soon as she did, a Tarask appeared before her.
She immediately stood up. Fight she reminded herself. She touched her forehead to the sword as if to connect with it, to channel its powers. She lunged at the beast. It roared.
She reminded herself of the previous few times when she had fought a Tarask. She had always been surrounded by her team; she was not left to fight alone. She could count on any of them to aid her so she could properly attack the Tarask. This time however, she was by herself. She did not have Beatrice’s soothing voice in her ear guiding her through her panic, or Camila’s soft chuckle to bring her back from the edge, or the sound of Mother’s cane, a constant reminder that she had a family to come home to. No. She was alone.
She did not let that fact deter her from her goal. Reya wanted her to beat the Tarask and she would do her absolute best to achieve that goal. She knew that if she had any chance at leaving this place, it would be on Reya’s terms, and she would do anything to reach that opportunity.
She moved, diligently avoiding the tarask’s claws. It was a bit difficult to reach a place where she could drive the sword in. Could it be due to her being in the tarasks’ realm? Did that make them more powerful?
Beatrice would be proud of her inquisitions, but she would also scold her for losing her focus.
The Halo pulsed as she thought of Beatrice, helping propel her forward against the demon. It did not seem to be fighting hard against her. Maybe she was simply supposed to prove she was the Halo Bearer rather than a warrior. So, she did. She plunged her sword into the tarask’s chest and watched it disintegrate, simply vanishing.
You truly are the Halo Bearer. Come with me. You are worthy of the truth.
She felt the shadow again, this time, on her shoulder.
Where are you taking me?
She felt her body dissolve, moving through time, following the shadow.
Aioniotita.