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He dragged the blade from left to right, a familiar motion to him. Pausing as he set it into his skin, then holding his breath as the jagged metal ripped his leg like it was nothing. White hot searing pain sent like shockwaves coursed his legs each time he cut. As the blood bubbles and slipped down his thigh, a sick smile crept its way across tweeks face.
He loved the hurt.
The feeling of control.
The release of emotions all in one swipe.
It brought him clairity and meaning to this fucked up life he was living. It gave him control of his own actions, which felt like the one thing he could manage.
His whole life was managed by everyone else. Especially his shithead parents, telling him what to do, when to do it, when he could go out and when he couldn’t, you name it, they were in charge.
They drugged him. They controlled him. He knew they put stuff in his coffee and his food, but he couldn’t go a day without it.
He was addicted.
But he didn’t care.
Just another thing to tune out the fucked up world he lived in.
His ‘friends’ hated him. The people he had been around his entire life would bully him senseless, calling him names every day, pushing him around, beating him up, and making him their personal guinea pig. He was always an embarrassment to anyone around him, freaking out over the smallest things and ticcing constantly. He knew by the dirty glares he got from his friends that they hated it.
He had no one else to run to. His friends hated him, his parents didn’t even think he existed sometimes, and his boyfriend was too good for him. He needed someone who wasn’t as fucked up as he was.
So tweek had himself, and that was all.
And he wanted to hurt .
He wanted an escape from all the pain and misery his life had caused.
And if the escape from this pain was a blade to the leg, he would do it.
Over,
And over,
And over again.
“Shut up tweek!”
“Leave us alone tweek.”
“You’re weird.”
“Why would we hangout with you?”
“Shut up tweek!”
“Calm down! You’re overreacting.”
“I can’t deal with you!”
“No one likes you tweek.”
“No one likes you.”
No one likes you.
No one likes me.
No one likes me.
Tweek repeated these words to himself as he sliced his thighs open with what was once a piece of the now broken pencil sharpener. With every word, he yanked the blade across his skin, letting the blade sink into his leg just as the words sank into his mind.
You’re stupid
You’re ugly
Your unlovable
No one likes you
You’re so annoying.
Why do you even try anymore?
Just fucking go away
just end it already.
End it.
Dig the blade as far as it can go.
Kill yoursel-
“Tweek?” A gentle voice cut its way through the shouting voices in his mind.
A soft knock echoed through the small bathroom. “Are you alright? You’ve been in there a while.”
Tweek stared at the door, frozen in fear.
He thought craig wouldn’t be home until later.
He’s early.
He was never early.
What would tweek say? “Oh I’m great! just slicing my leg open in here.”
He cleared his throat, eyes glued on the door. “Y-yeah im good! Ack!-“ His voice wavered.
“What’re you doing?”
“U-uh im-“ tweek panicked. “I’m-Hrg!!I’m, I’m cleaning!” He lied through his teeth.
There was a pause. He could hear craig stepping closer to the door.
“Tweek, I know youre lying.”
Tweeks heart stopped.
“What’s going on? Really?” The doorknob rattled. “Can I come in? I’m worried.”
Tweek looked around the room frantically, before his eyes landed on his leg.
His fucked up leg.
Blood was bubbling and leaking out of all of the cuts at an alarming rate, creating a small glistening puddle on the floor. His flesh was torn apart, jagged lines decorating his leg, some big, some small, some dangerously deep with little bits of muscle and fat showing.
Fuck.
“Tweek im coming in.” The door opened slowly. Craig stepped inside slowly, glancing around the room before his eyes landed on tweek, who was slumped against the wall.
I’m so pathetic. Tweek thought.
“Why are you on the-“ Craig questioned before stopping ubruptly in his sentence. He stared at tweek legs with fear laced all over his face. His complexion went pale and tears started pooling in his eyes.
His sweet brown eyes staring at tweeks mangled legs. Tears slipped down Craig’s face as he brought a hand slowly over his mouth.
What had tweek done?
“Tweek- tweek oh my god.” Craig dropped next to tweek, grabbing his face gently and scanning his complexion. “Can you hear me? Honey look at me
Tweek sat there, looking numbly at his fucked up leg. His breathing shook and tears slipped down his face.
You’re so stupid.
You’re so stupd
You’re so fucking stupid why would you do this to him?
You should have dug harder and faster before he knew.
“Tweek honey, look at me.” Craig held tweeks face softly, rubbing his thumb gently against his pale cheek.
Tweek whined and leaned into the touch, sobbing softly. “I’m sorry.” He cried.
“Oh honey it’s okay. It’s not your fault. I’m not mad. I’m here to help okay? I’m gonna get a towel to stop the bleeding.” Craig soothed. He moved slowly to grab a towel hanging beside the door. He folded it up carefully before dipping it under the sink water then pressing it softly on tweeks thigh.
Tweek winced, the stinging pain coursing his leg.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry love.” Craig soothed. He pressed firmly, and soon enough the blood trails stopped trickling out from his legs.
Tweek sat and watched, feeing as if this was all a dream. Like he was watching someone else’s life through a screen.
The silence in the room was defaning. Only being interrupted by tweeks small gasps and tics, and occasional sniffs coming from Craig.
Craig began bandaging tweeks legs, placing ointment and gauze around the cuts and wrapping his thighs firmly in ace bandages. He gently pulled the bunched up sweatpants tweek was wearing back into place over his legs, hoping for it to bring some relief to tweek.
“Baby, talk to me.” Craig asked quietly, holding tweeks face.
Tweek inhaled shakily, unable to clear the lump in his throat. He shook his head slowly, shutting his eyes as tears slipped down his face. “C-can’t.” He whimpered, bringing his hands to his head where he tugged at his hair.
“Okay. Okay. We don’t have to right now.” Craig comforted, gently guiding tweeks hands away and into Craig’s. “Do you wanna go downstairs? We can relax and watch a show. We don’t have to think about this right now.”
Tweek nodded.
“I’m gonna pick you up, okay?” Craig asked.
Tweek nodded again, leaning towards Craig.
Craig lifted tweek up bridal style, holding him close to his chest and making sure to steer clear of touching his thighs. He rubbed tweeks cheek with his thumb gently, reviving quiet hums back from the blonde.
Craig walked carefully to the living room where he layed his boyfriend down, draped a blanket over him, and sat next to his head.
“Is Red Racer okay?” Craig asked, combing tweeks hair.
Tweek nodded and shifted himself to be lying on Craig’s lap.
Craig chuckled quietly, clicking play on the tv and rubbing tweeks shoulders.
They managed to make it 15 minutes in before tweek was fast asleep, curled up against craig. He held Craig’s sweatshirt tight in his arms, burying his face into it. His legs were splayed out awkwardly, one hanging off the couch while the other tucked into his stomach.
Craig chuckled softly, and pressed a kiss to tweeks forehead.
“I will always be here for you, my love.”
It didn’t take long for Craig to fall asleep next.