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Raph was sitting in the lair watching TV with his brothers when he got the call.
He saw the little dorky picture of Casey appear on his screen, and he smiled when he saw it. He swiped the button to answer it, and put his phone to his ear. “What’s up, loser?” He said grinning. His brothers all looked at him and consequently made faces at him, knowing he was head over heels for the guy.
Raph heard a sniffle over the line. “Can I stay with you for a few days?” Casey whined, and Raph heard him whisper to someone nearby.
The others must have heard because all of their faces dropped. Raph stood up and walked out of the room, closer to his bedroom so they couldn’t hear. “Case, what’s wrong?” Raph said, voice low.
“I, uh, can’t talk about it right now.”
Raph’s panic was starting to build. “Casey, if this is a joke, stop it. Where are you, I’ll come get you.” He said, hoping Casey was nearby.
Casey whispered something unintelligible off to the side. “I’m in a cab. I’m almost at my aunt’s place in Plainfield.”
Raph started pacing the floor. This couldn’t be good. “Why the hell are you going to Jersey?” He whispered.
“My, um, my sister. She needs a place to go. And she can’t come to the lair.” He sniffled, and sounded choked up. Raph pursed his lips, still having no idea what was going on.
Raph ducked into his room, not wanting his brothers to see how obviously worked up he was. This wasn’t good, he knew it wasn’t, but he needed some answers. “Casey, please, just tell me what’s going on. Please.” He said, begging him.
Raph didn’t beg. Not unless it came to Casey.
“I can’t. Not right now.” He paused. “I’m at my aunt’s. I’ll call you back.”
Click.
Raph dropped down onto his bed, confused and concerned for his best friend and his little sister. This was bad, he knew this was bad. He had no idea what was going on, and Casey wouldn’t tell him, and there was nothing he could do but wait.
He sat and stared at his phone in his hands, waiting for it to light back up with Casey’s name and that stupid picture. Casey meant everything to him, and he wouldn’t be able to cope if he was hurt.
Suddenly, the phone started to ring, and Raph answered the call as fast as he could. “Casey?” He asked hurriedly.
“Hey, Raph,” Casey said, and then broke down into tears.
Casey, like Raph, never cried. Never. To hear him so emotional broke his heart.
“Casey, what happened. Please just tell me.” Raph asked, getting teary just listening to him.
“I’ll tell you when I get there. I don’t want to explain it twice.” Casey sniffled, trying to stifle his cries.
Raph let out a breath and began pacing his bedroom. “Are you hurt?”
Casey didn’t answer for a while. So long that Raph thought the line had disconnected. “Pretty bad.” He whispered, hoping Raph wouldn’t go looking for a fight when there wasn’t one to be had.
“Who do I need to kill?” Raph growled, protective of his friend.
Despite everything, Casey chuckled. “It’s okay. It’s taken care of.”
Raph didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t know if he wanted to know. “Do you need anything? Like… clothes or something? I can raid your apartment.” Raph offered.
“It’s okay. I got a bag. I just need a– I need a place to sleep.” Casey cleared his throat, obviously embarrassed. “It’s still okay for me to come over, right? If not, I can figure something else out–”
“Shut up.” Raph said sternly. “Of course you can stay here. Of course you can. You don’t gotta ask.”
Casey was quiet. “Thanks.”
Raph thought for a moment, chewing his lip trying to gain courage. “Y’know what? I think we have an air mattress around here, and I’ll set it up in my room so you don’t have to be alone. I got blankets, and games, and snacks, and whatever else you want. Say the word, and I’ll get it for you.”
Casey grinned from the other side of the line. His body hurt, but not his heart. “You do too much for me. You’re gonna get sick of having me around all the time.”
“I love having you around– We. We love having you around. You’re always welcome here.” Raph corrected, thankful Casey couldn’t see the blush on his face.
“I love being around you too. All of you.” Casey said, meaning every word. “I’ll be back in the city in an hour. I can call you when I’m close, if that works.”
Raph stood up, anxious to see him. He needed to see him, to make sure he was alright. Casey was his whole world, and he hated to hear him so hurt. “Yeah, call me. I’ll see you soon.” He ended.
Casey sighed from the other end of the line. “See you soon.” He said, and the line went dead.
—
Raph exited the room like a man on a mission, because that’s exactly what he was on. A mission.
He stood at the edge of the pit, his brothers looking up at him, wondering what the hell that was all about. He crossed his arms and looked to the side, not wanting to tell them what he learned but knew he had to. “Casey’s hurt.” He grumbled, and tried not to tear up.
“What happened?” Leo asked, immediately worried.
“I don’t know, but he just dropped his sister off at his aunt’s.” Raph said, quickly wiping a tear off his face. “I don’t know what to– I don’t know what to do.” He said, and startled when Mikey shot up and wrapped his arms around him.
“Don’t worry bro, he can stay with us. Right, Leo?” Mikey asked, swiveling his head to look at his oldest brother.
“Of course he can. After all, he’s been with us since… a long time. He’s family.” Leo said.
Mikey grinned. “Raph has a big fat crush on him. I wonder how this is going to play out.”
“Would you stop it?!” Raph said, stepping out of the hug, but not that upset, because it was true. “Casey went through I don’t know what, and you’re playing matchmaker?”
“The heart wants what it wants, brah.” Mikey said with a shrug.
Raph rolled his eyes at him. Mikey was exhausting. “Casey’s gonna be here in an hour. We gotta get the lair ready by then. Leo, do you know where the air mattress is?” He asked his immediate older brother.
“Storage, probably.” Leo said with a wince.
Storage, also known as the place they put all their extra stuff, also known as Splinter’s room. Their deceased father’s room. They kept all of their extra stuff in their dead father’s room because sometimes there’s just not enough space and to hell with respect and dignity.
Raph made his way to the storage room, and tried to ignore how cluttered the space was. Would his dad be proud of him? Would Splinter have thought it was okay to like a boy? He hoped so. He was fine when Karai had come out as a lesbian a year ago, so it would’ve probably been okay.
He just wished he’d gotten the chance to tell his dad he liked boys too.
Raph sighed. What was done was done, and right now he just had to find that stupid air mattress for the equally stupid boy he liked. Why was his life so complicated?
After digging around for a while, he found it, and the pump, thank god. He was surprised the two were in the same place. He left the room in a hurry, he probably had about forty-five minutes left.
He pulled the door open to his room and threw the pump on his bed, knowing he wouldn’t need it right away. He cleared a few sweatshirts off the floor, along with a few comics, and laid the soon-to-be-inflated air mattress on the ground.
He grabbed the pump and put the chord in the hole, stiflingly a laugh. sometimes the twelve-year-old-boy humor got to him, okay? He started pumping it, and soon saw results. it slowly but surely filled, and he put the plug in with a chuckle. He knew that the bed didn’t have any sheets, so he grabbed every blanket he had from his bed and put them on the air mattress, just so Casey wouldn’t get cold. it was only three, and it was a full sized bed, so he needed more.
Raph went to the shelf and pulled a few more off. There were five now, that was enough, right? He left the room, and found his brothers preparing for his arrival as well.
Leo was straightening out the pit, making the pillows look all nice. “Mikey’s in the kitchen. He’s making food for Casey, just sandwiches I think.” He said, fluffing up a beanbag chair.
“You guys are the best.” Raph said, eternally grateful for his family. “Where’s Dee?” He asked.
Leo nodded his head to the side. “In his lab. You said he was hurt, so Donnie’s setting up the med kit.”
“Ah.” He said, a little awkward.
Leo straightened out another pillow. “So, do you think you’re gonna get together?” Leo asked, and Raph was this close to throwing a shuriken at him.
“Leo, I swear to god.” He groaned.
Leo shrugged, but Raph could tell he was trying not to grin. “I’m just saying, if he’s gonna be staying in your room, and that air mattress could fit the both of you–”
“Please stop.”
“Something could happen. Try and keep it PG, okay? We don’t need to be hearing various noises–”
“LEO!” Raph yelled.
Leo sighed. “Fine, fine. I’ll stop. But seriously, my gaydar goes off every time he steps in the room.”
“Can we not speculate about my best friend’s sexuality?” Raph said, leveling his gaze with Leo’s.
Leo rolled his eyes, the jerk. “You’re no fun. He’s gonna be here soon, so go and get ready. Mikey must be done with snacks and stuff by now.”
Raph glared at him. “Fine. But you’re on my list.” He said, walking off toward the kitchen.
Leo grinned. This was gonna be fun.
—
Mikey was indeed in the kitchen, finishing up the sandwiches. There were family-sized bags of chips all around, some open, some not.
Mikey was putting the two pieces of bread together when Raph walked in, pushing the curtain aside. “Whazzup, bro?”
Raph sighed and slid into his spot at the counter. “Nothing. Just waiting for the call.” He tapped his fingers on the counter in anxiety, trying not to have a full-blown panic attack. “What kind of sandwiches did you make?”
Mikey pushed the two paper plates toward him. “Good ol’ peanut butter and jelly. Can’t go wrong with that.” He said, passing a few bags of chips toward him. “These are for you guys.”
Raph pulled the food toward him, but kept it on the counter. “Thanks, little brother.”
Mikey set his chin in his hands and his elbows on the counter. “So do you think you’re gonna get together?”
Raph slammed his hands down. “What is with this family and the obsession with my love life?”
“Dude, it’s the juiciest gossip we got right now besides Donnie and April.”
“And April’s not gonna go for it—“
“Which is exactly why we’re focused on you. C’mon, bro, keep up.”
Raph sighed. “I take it back, you guys suck.”
Mikey giggled, and Raph’s phone started to ring. It was that picture of Casey again, and he swiped to answer.
“Casey?” Raph asked.
“It’s me,” Casey said, “I’m almost to the lair. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Raph let out a breath of relief. Thank god. “Okay. I’m in the kitchen with Mikey, meet us in here.”
“Okay.” Casey said softly. “I’ll be there soon.”
“You better.” Raph said, just as soft. He hung up the phone, and put it face down on the counter, not unlike what he did with his face.
“You got it bad, Raph.” Mikey said, and Raph could hear the shit-eating grin on his face.
“I know.” He groaned, face pressed down.
Mikey patted him on the shoulder. “There there, brother. I’m pretty sure he’s got the hots for you too.”
“Please don’t call it that.”
Mikey flicked him on the back of the head. “Get up! Your boy toy is gonna be here soon, and you gotta play bachelor.” Mikey said.
“You watch too much TV.” Raph said to him, head still down.
He heard a throat clear. “Hey guys.” Casey said, leaning on the doorframe of the kitchen.
Raph’s head whipped up, taking in his appearance. He didn’t even look like him.
Casey had two black eyes, and another tooth missing. He had a cut on his eyebrow, a bag slung over one shoulder, and a hand on the other. His knuckles were bloody, so he obviously put up a fight to whoever his attacker was. He had bruises everywhere, and Raph didn’t know what to say or what to do.
“Dude…” Mikey trailed off, taking in his appearance.
“Is it that bad?” Casey asked with a wince, coming to sit at the counter next to Raph. He scooted his chair closer to him, and laid his head on Raph’s shoulder. Raph cautiously wrapped a hand around Casey’s waist, hoping he wasn’t crossing a boundary.
Mikey observed both of them, and they clearly had a bond, if it was romantic or not. It was romantic though, he could tell. He could also tell they haven’t gotten together yet, if Raph’s face was anything to go by.
“My head hurts.” Casey said with a groan.
“We gotta get you taken care of, Case. Gotta have Donnie check you out.” Raph said softly to him, and mouthed to Mikey, Get Donnie.
Mikey nodded, and ran off to get him. Raph turned back to Casey, giving him a side hug. “You’re gonna be okay.” He whispered to him.
Casey’s eyes were half-lidded, and on their way to close. “Stay with me.”
Raph smiled, however faintly. “You know I will.” He said, and hesitated. “You’re my best friend.”
Casey could barely keep his eyes open. “You’re my best friend too.” He whispered.
Donnie and Mikey rushed back into the room, Leo not far behind. “Oh god.” Donnie said, seeing Casey. “We have to get him to my lab. I can help him better there.” He said, motioning for him to come.
Raph nudged Casey, trying to keep him awake. “Case, can you stand?” He asked.
“Mhm,” Casey murmured, making the move to stand. Raph cautiously stood up, ready to catch him if he fell.
Raph wrapped an arm around Casey’s waist, and Casey put an arm around Raph’s shoulders. “C’mon, you big baby, let’s go.” He said, and walked them both across the lair to Donnie’s lab.
Once they arrived, he sat Casey down on a cot Donnie had pulled out. Donnie instructed Casey to take off his sweatshirt, which he did, and they immediately all saw the bruises that littered his body.
“Oh man.” Mikey said. Leo just sucked in a breath, and Donnie grimaced.
And Raph? He wasn’t angry. He was beyond angry. He was pissed.
Raph marched up to Casey and leveled his gaze. “Casey Jones, what the hell happened to you?” He growled, not angry at him, but at whoever did this to his best friend.
Casey dropped his eyes to the floor, not saying a word. He just let Donnie poke and prod at him, checking for various injuries, and shined a light in his eye.
Donnie sighed and addressed the group. “Casey has a mild concussion. He can sleep, just not for very long. Maybe a few hours at a time at most. He needs a few bandaids here and there, and he has a lot of bruises, but other than that, there’s not a lot of damage.” He said, turning back to Casey. “Did you understand any of that?” He asked him.
Casey yawned. “Sure.” He said, opening his eyes, “Can I get a coffee if I have to stay awake?”
Donnie hummed, not thrilled to be sharing his coffee, but willing to do it anyway. He walked over to the coffee machine he kept in his lab, and poured him a cup of the steaming brew.
“Here. Drink up, I’m sure Raph has something planned.” He said, passing the cup to Casey and smirking at Raph.
Raph blushed, and internally cussed his brother out. “You’re the worst.” He grumbled at him, and Donnie laughed at him. How rude.
Donnie passed him a package of band aids, a tube of neosporin, and a small bottle of tylenol. “Put the band aids on Casey.” He whispered, so the subject couldn’t hear, “A little goes a long way. Make sure you get ‘em all, we don’t want an infection. Give him some tylenol, two every six hours or so.” He said, backing away. Raph ignored him, and grabbed Casey by the forearm, causing the coffee to splash around in the cup.
“C’mon, Casey, we’re getting out of here.” He said, dragging him out the door. “Mikes, can you get the food?” He called back, not wanting to make trips with Casey.
Mikey exited the lab with a look of dismay on his face. “Only for you, Raph. And just this once!” He yelled, making his way to the kitchen to get the food he’d prepared.
Raph opened the door to his room and carefully placed Casey on the mattress, not wanting to move his head too much. Casey scooted a little farther so Raph had room to sit, which he did. They sat a few feet from each other, a mountain of blankets separating them.
That wouldn’t do. Casey might get cold, and he couldn’t have that. Raph grabbed one of the blankets and crawled closer to Casey, so they were only a few inches apart. He wrapped the blanket around his shoulders, and Casey stared up at his face the whole time.
Raph gulped, but stayed close, pushing the blankets aside. “How you feeling?”
“I’ll be better by tomorrow.” Casey said.
There was a knock on the door, and then it swung open. Mikey balanced the plates on his arms, drinks in one hand and bags of chips in the other. “Hey gang, Mikey’s here to save the day.” He said with a grin, and set the food on the floor next to the bed. “I’ll leave you to it.” Mikey walked out the door, but not before sending a wink to Raph, who tried to ignore it. The door clicked shut, and Raph turned to Casey.
Casey sat with his legs crossed and a blanket around his shoulders. Raph sat the same next to his knee, and pulled out the package of neosporin and band aids. “We gotta get you cleaned up.” He said, pulling open the pack of bandages.
“Can’t I just sleep for a while?” Casey said, leaning forward and putting his head against Raph’s shoulder. Raph grabbed his shoulder and pushed him up.
“Not yet, I gotta patch you up. You’ll be good as new in no time.” He said, grabbing Casey’s hand. He had cuts and scratches, so he’d have to wipe the blood off. He grabbed a box of kleenex from his nightstand and tried to rub some of the blood off, to moderate success.
He brought Casey’s knuckles closer to him, and put some neosporin on the cuts. He peeled the paper off of the bandage and stuck it on, making sure it wouldn’t peel up. He put a few more on before grabbing Casey’s other hand, starting to bandage it as well.
“Hey Raph?” Casey asked, kinda out of it. “You look so cute when you’re focused like this.” He said, smiling gently at him.
Raph’s eyes flickered up to him, a light blush spreading across his cheeks. He couldn’t mean that. He had a concussion, and he wasn’t thinking clearly. He didn’t mean it, ‘cause why would he? What did Raph have to offer him besides an air mattress and some snacks?
Raph chuckled lightly, trying to cover up his heartbreak. “Thanks, Jones. You’re not too bad looking yourself.” He complimented, because he couldn’t just leave it out. He finished bandaging his hand, and pulled Casey closer, because the cut on his brow didn’t look too good.
Raph realized how close they were the second he pulled him in. Their faces couldn’t have been more than a few inches apart, but he had to keep in mind Casey wasn’t himself right now. He pulled away, and tried to not notice the look on Casey’s face as he did so.
“I gotta get your eyebrow, dude. You’re gonna have a nasty scar either way, but it needs to get cleaned.” He said, looking down and focusing on the bandaid. He couldn’t look up because if he did he might do something they’d both regret. Besides, as far as he knew Casey was straight. He might just be pining for something that would never happen.
“Okay.” Casey said softly, masking his hurt feelings. He wasn’t as out of it as Raph seemed to think he was. He could still feel and think like normal, he just had a headache. He was faking his state so that he could be more affectionate than usual, but now he was regretting it. He really wanted Raph to kiss him. He wanted him to so badly he could hardly take it, but he knew Raph wouldn’t.
Raph was too much of a gentleman, and Casey… he didn’t have much. Just an abusive father and a shit ton of secrets.
Why wouldn’t Raph look at him? Was his face really that bad? Did he not like him like that? What did he do wrong?
Raph took a deep breath, holding the bandaid. He quickly lifted his head, and glued his eyes to the cut on Casey’s brow. He couldn’t look at him or he’d do something crazy, and reckless, and stupid.
He was head-over-heels in love with Casey, and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep it in. That stupid hockey boy had stolen his heart, and he hated that he did. He didn’t really, but that’s what he told himself to stay sane.
Raph aligned the bandage to the cut on his brow, pressing it down, and tried to not notice how Casey was trying to make eye contact out of his peripherals. He couldn’t look. He couldn’t. Not now, please not now–
Raph’s eyes flickered down to Casey’s, and for a moment that felt like forever they stared, gazing at the stars in each other’s eyes. Raph had to remind himself that Casey was straight, he didn’t like him, it wasn’t possible for Casey to even think about it. Casey didn’t like him, and he had to accept it.
Raph missed how Casey leaned in the second he pulled away. He was too lost in his head. He reached for the food, carefully scooting farther away from Casey.
And Casey? It was a pain unlike anything he’d ever experienced. He’d take a hit from his dad any day over what had just happened. It was coming so close to everything he’d ever wanted, only for the rug to be ripped from under him at the last second. It was like his heart was smashed to pieces, because this is the first big move he’d ever made with Raph, and Raph pulled away.
It was a rejection if he’d ever seen one. It hurt.
Raph grabbed the sandwiches and bags of chips, and passed a plate to Casey. It was quiet, but not an awkward silence. They both had a million things on their minds, they were both distracted by the thought of each other.
Raph pulled his favorite blanket into his lap knowing it would comfort his aching heart. He balanced his plate on top of it, and watched Casey do the same. “You gonna tell me what happened?” Raph asked softly.
Casey took a bit out of his sandwich and swallowed. “Can we just… be okay for now? Deal with it tomorrow?” He asked, not wanting to relive the experience so soon. He just wanted to feel okay. He wanted to be with Raph, he wanted to hold him and be held.
Casey ruminated with his feelings, eating his sandwich and gathering his courage. He could do it. Raph hadn’t said no, he hadn’t pushed him away. He still had a chance.
He finished his sandwich and put the plate on the floor. Raph nodded and finished his, observing him carefully without making eye contact. He put his plate off to the side, seemingly waiting for Casey to do something.
“Do you wanna go to sleep?” Casey asked, hands shaking and heart thumping.
Raph’s breath hitched. “Do you want me to— to stay down here, or do you want the bed to yourself?” He asked, feeling the fabric of his blanket on his fingers, trying to stay grounded.
“Stay?” Casey asked, and looked up to find Raph wearing a subtle smile. Raph reached up and over into his bed, grabbing the pillows he had. He handed Casey one and kept the other to himself, and laid it on the head of the blow-up mattress. Raph spread out his blanket so it would cover himself, and Casey did the same. They still had a few blankets, and spread them out as well.
Casey and Raph both laid their heads down on their respective pillows, and it felt like they were a million miles apart. Casey turned on his side to face Raph, who did the same. Casey pulled the blanket up to his chin, and was suddenly overcome with the scent of it.
“This blanket smells like you.” He said, looking into Raph’s eyes softly.
Raph’s eyes bulged. “Sorry. I can wash them if you want–” He said, sitting up and reaching for the blanket. Casey grabbed Raph by the arm, and pulled him back down and closer to him. Raph’s eyes were blown wide, and a rosy blush covered his face.
“You don’t have to. It’s… nice.” He said, hiding his face in the blankets, embarrassed at how vulnerable he was being. This was awful. Why was he still closeted again? He knew Raph was okay with it, Leo, Mikey, and Donnie were out already. He didn’t know about Raph, but he could guess.
“Oh. Okay.” Raph commented, relaxing. Casey realized he was still holding on to his forearm, and without a single thought in his head he moved to take Raph’s hand into his own.
“This okay?” Casey asked, arm tense as he realized what he just did.
“Yeah.” Raph breathed, heart pounding.
Neither of them moved a muscle, both too afraid of scaring the other away. They were both terrified to make a move, knowing it could make or break their relationship. Casey knew that to make anything happen, he had to spill the beans about what happened that night. It wasn’t a nice story, and he hoped Raph wouldn’t judge him. He knew he wouldn’t.
“It was my dad.” Casey said, closing his eyes to avoid seeing Raph’s reaction.
Raph froze. “He did this?” He asked, voice soft.
Casey nodded, still keeping his eyes closed. “I told him something. He didn’t like it. He… he hit me, and I just took it. I thought I deserved it.”
Raph’s breath hitched and he gripped his hand slightly. “There’s no way you deserved it. If he hits you ever again, I swear to god–”
“It’s not a problem. He got taken care of.” He took a deep breath, “He started drinking. He hit me again, and I put up a fight, ‘cause I knew he wouldn’t stop. Angel called the cops, he got arrested, and I got a cab to Jersey so she could stay safe and not get pulled into CPS.”
Raph was quiet as he took in the information. It was a lot, to say the least.
“So that’s why you said not to worry about it.”
“Yeah.” Casey said, staring at their connected hands. This was hard.
“What’d you tell him?” Raph blurted, not able to hold it in anymore. He had to know. He had to.
Casey chewed his lip and turned over to his other side, dropping Raph’s hand. His back was to him because he knew he couldn’t do it facing him. “You can’t tell anyone.”
And he wouldn’t. He was a vault for secrets, and he knew that Casey really didn’t want this getting out. “I swear I won’t.”
He was shaking. His hands, his arms, his heart, all because he wanted to share the deepest part of himself with his best friend. He thought he was gonna take this secret with him when he inevitably went to hell, but he already told his dad. Casey knew Raph wouldn’t do what he did, but it didn’t stop the fear spreading through his body.
“Casey?” Raph asked, pouring every ounce of gentleness he had into his voice.
“I’m bi.” He blurted, and oh my god he did it. But he couldn’t stop shaking, and he was crying, and he just needed some love and affection right now or he was literally going to die—
“C’mere, Case.” Raph said, and Casey did because he needed it. He scooted his back into Raph’s plastron, still unable to face him. Raph wrapped a careful arm around him, and Casey put his hand on the back of Raph’s and pulled it toward his chest. He knew Raph could feel his heart pounding, but he didn’t care. Not now.
Raph had his chin buried in Casey’s messy hair, and he pulled him closer, bending his legs so they were pressed against the back of Casey’s. “‘M proud of you.” He murmured into the back of Casey’s head.
“I was so scared to tell you.” Casey said, tears still slipping from his face.
Raph nuzzled into Casey’s hair, and both of them loved the feeling. “You can tell me anything. You don’t have to be scared.” Raph said, trying to comfort him. After a moment of hesitation, he pressed a kiss on the back of Casey’s head, then buried his face in his hair, embarrassed.
A shiver went down his spine. That was proof, wasn’t it? Raph liked him back. He did. He knew it. Somehow, deep down, he’d always known. This just sealed the deal.
But… what if he was wrong? What if it was just wishful thinking? What if he got it wrong and wrecked everything?
Casey flipped over and faced Raph. Their faces were only inches apart, both of their faces flushed red. Raph reached and brushed the tears from his eyes, and he had to restrain himself from leaning into the touch.
Casey stared at Raph’s lips, then into his eyes. He didn’t know if Raph caught the flicker of movement, but he hoped he did. He hoped he got the message across. He placed a gentle hand on Raph’s side, and said, “Raph, I–”
“You should get some sleep.” Raph interrupted, squeezing his eyes shut, not wanting to see Casey’s reaction. He didn’t think he could bear it.
See, Raph wanted to kiss him. So badly. So much it hurt. But he couldn’t. Casey wasn’t in his right mind, he had a freaking brain injury. He couldn’t take advantage when he was this vulnerable, this wacked out.
Besides, even if Casey had the capacity to like boys, why on earth would he like him? He was a mutant, a freak. He told Donnie it would never happen with him and April, and the same applied to Raph and Casey. He knew there was no possible way a human could like him.
He really was just pining for something that could never, and would never, happen. Not to him. He’d be naïve to think so. The only reason Casey was acting like he liked him was because he was hurt. There was no other explanation. He got his heart broken, and this time, he didn’t think he’d be okay.
“Right.” Casey said, and flipped onto his back. “Sorry. I thought–”
“It’s okay.” Raph said, interrupting him for the second time. He turned his back to Casey, because if he saw him he’d break. His heart was in pieces, and there was no way he could make it whole again. He just– it hurt so bad. He wasn’t gonna be okay. There was no way he could be. Coming so close, only to break apart at the finish line. This was the worst day of his life.
Raph kept his eyes squeezed shut and tried to stabilize his voice. “I’ll wake you up in a few hours. Donnie said you can’t sleep for too long.”
Casey didn’t respond for a while. “Okay.” He said, voice wobbling.
Y’know what? He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t. He needed to get out of there, because if he stayed a second longer he’d say something, and Casey would do something he’d regret, and it would all fall apart more than it already had. He needed to talk to someone, he needed a hug, and he couldn’t get one from Casey ‘cause he’d kiss him and he didn’t wanna do that to him. Casey’d panic, he’d push him away, call him a freak, ‘cause that’s what he was, that’s what he deserved. He couldn’t do this, and he needed to get out.
Raph sat up and pulled the blankets off him. “I’ll be right back.” He lied, and slipped out of the room before Casey could respond.
—
Raph knocked on Leo’s door, and stepped in even though Leo hadn’t said he could. Raph closed the door behind him, and took a few steps forward.
Leo was sitting in his bed, laptop open, watching some show. There were blue mood lights on the line where the walls met the ceiling, giving the room a dark blue hue. He looked up and saw the state of his younger brother, and immediately closed the screen. Raph needed him, and he was gonna be there for him.
“What’s wrong?” Leo asked, and set his laptop on the bedside table.
Raph had his fists clenched at his side, and tried to control his breathing. He tried to hold back the tears that were quickly forming in his eyes, and he knew he was gonna lose control any second. “Can I– I n-need a hug.” Raph said, voice hitching and shaking like a leaf. Leo shot out of bed, wrapping his arms around Raph’s shoulders.
Raph couldn’t help it, the tears started pouring down his face, and he couldn’t stand. He dropped to the floor, Leo coming with him. Raph threw his arms around his older brother, and sobbed into his shoulder. He felt so bad, the worst he’d ever felt. He was so embarrassed to be crying in front of someone, and Leo knew he never did. But just this once, this one, isolated incident, he did. Leo knew that whatever happened couldn’t have been good, and he could only guess what happened.
Leo rubbed the back of Raph’s shell, trying to soothe him. Raph cried, hiccuping and trying to stifle his sobs. Leo could tell by the sound of him breathing through his teeth, and hugged him tighter.
“You can cry. It’s okay. I got you.” He said, tearing up himself. He hated the fact that his little brother was crying, and that he was trying to stop. Raph needed to get this out, he needed to let out everything that had happened or he’d never be okay.
Raph sobbed, loudly and painfully. He couldn’t help it, and Leo’s words made him feel better. He made it okay. His brother was here for him, he’d help him, he was here and that was all he needed right now. He grabbed him as tight as he could, falling into his embrace. He cried until he had nothing left, until he was empty and broken. His grip onto Leo lessened, and he reluctantly pulled away, leaning his shell on the side of Leo’s bed. Leo sat next to him, and passed him the water bottle he kept on his bedside table. Raph gratefully gulped it down, dehydrated from all the crying.
Raph passed the bottle back to Leo, who took it and put it off to the side. “Sorry.” Raph said, voice thick and filled with emotion. Maybe he did have more tears to cry.
Leo grabbed his hand, and turned to face him. “Don’t you dare apologize. You don’t have to do that, not to me, not ever.” He said, needing Raph to understand that it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel. He didn’t have to feel bad.
Raph leaned his head on Leo’s shoulder, seconds from crying again. “Okay.”
Leo sat with him, feeling tears drip from Raph’s eyes onto his shoulder as he quietly cried. He gently squeezed his hand, letting him know he was there, and that he always would be. He leaned his head against Raph’s, knowing he needed all the comfort he could get.
“You can tell me what happened, if you want. I’m here for you.” He said, letting Raph cry.
Raph nodded, and took a deep breath, trying not to cry out. “I think he– he wanted to– kiss me. But I didn’t– He couldn’t–” He said, starting to hyperventilate. Leo squeezed his hand again, trying to ground him.
“It’s okay. Take your time.” Leo said, patient as ever.
Raph cried a few more tears, taking deep breaths, calming himself. He needed to talk this out, even though it was hard and it hurt and he didn’t know if he could do it. “I didn’t want him to kiss me ‘cause– ‘cause why would he? He can’t even think straight, he’s hurt, and he wouldn’t mean it. We’re– we’re m-mutants. Who’d like– me? I– I–” He said, sobbing all over again.
He hated crying, he hated that he needed Leo. He should be able to deal with it on his own, but it felt so damn good to have a family who was here to support him through anything. Leo was always gonna be there for him, he knew it for a fact.
Leo let him cry, knowing he needed this. He grabbed his hand tighter, and Raph squeezed back just as hard.
“Do you want me to get Donnie and Mikey in here? We can all sit with you, it might make you feel better.” Leo offered quietly.
Raph sniffled, but nodded.
“Okay.” Leo said, and pulled out his phone. He texted their group chat, and before he knew it, Mikey and Donnie were knocking at his door. Leo cautiously stood up, leaving Raph to rest his forehead on his knees, still crying.
Leo walked over to his other brothers, and tried to fill them in on what happened as quickly as he could.
“Raph thinks Casey doesn’t like him, and that he only made a move because he’s got brain damage.” He said in a low voice, so Raph couldn’t hear. “Go easy on him. He’s really upset.” He said, glaring at them to make sure they got the message. They nodded, so Leo let them pass, and closed the door, locking it.
Leo went back to his spot on the left of Raph, while Mikey sat on his right. Donnie sat in front of Raph, taking in his curled-up position.
Leo sat next to Raph, who immediately leaned against him. Mikey put a hand on Raph’s shoulder, and tried his best to be aware of the situation. “You okay, bro?” He asked gently.
Raph kept his forehead on his knees, and shook his head. No, he wasn’t okay. How could he be? He didn’t even trust himself to speak, he didn’t want to have another breakdown.
Mikey bit his lip, and looked to Leo for guidance. Leo nodded, which encouraged Mikey to do his thing. “Wanna hear a funny joke?” He asked. Raph shook his head, obviously not in the mood. Leo rolled his eyes, and Donnie facepalmed. This didn’t stop him.
“Okay, okay, here it is. How does a duck fart?” Mikey asked.
Raph kept his head down and shrugged. He’d stopped crying, which was good.
“With its ass-quacked.” Mikey said, smiling.
Donnie groaned, and Leo shook his head. Raph huffed out a laugh, which only made Mikey more hopeful. “Here’s another. What did Fifty-Cent do when he got hungry?”
Raph let out a curious humm, and Leo and Donnie smiled, because it was working. “Fifty eight.”
Raph laughed again, Leo and Donnie chuckling that time as well. Mikey was on a roll. “What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?” He asked, and watched Raph cautiously lift his head.
“I dunno.” Raph said quietly, voice cracking. He wiped a tear with the palm of his hand, sitting up straight.
Mikey smiled at him. “Ham-boogers.” He said, and Raph shook his head. “Y’know, that joke’s kinda lame. It’s snot that funny.” He said, shit-eating grin on his face.
Raph let a shaky smile appear on his face. “Those were terrible.” He said, knowing why Mikey was telling jokes in the first place. It was to make him feel better, which it did, if only a little bit. “Thanks.”
Mikey knocked his shoulder into Raph’s. “Anytime, bro. We’re here for you.” He said, and the mood sobered.
Raph sat quietly with his eyes closed, trying to organize his thoughts. He needed them to understand where he was coming from, why he’d done what he did. He was still so upset that Casey didn’t like him the way he did, but maybe with his brother’s help he could move on.
Raph pursed his lips, opening his eyes to stare at the floor in front of him. “I dunno how to get over him.” He said, pulling his knees up and setting his chin on them. He had to talk about this, no matter how much he didn’t want to.
“I don’t think you have to.” Donnie said, and Raph’s eyes flickered up to his. “I don’t know about you, but we’ve all seen how he looks at you. There’s no way he doesn’t like you back.” He said, trying his best to comfort him.
“There’s no way. Why would he like me?” Raph asked, looking back to the ground.
“‘Cause you’re a kickass ninja, that’s why.” Mikey said.
Leo nodded, and had a comment of his own. “You’re caring. You care so much about him, you didn’t hesitate to help him when he needed you. You’re always there for him, and for all of us.” He said, and Raph tried not to break at their praise.
“You’re a good friend. You’re a great fighter, you’re talented at pretty much everything you set your mind to, and at the end of the day, you’re a good person. What’s not to like about you?” Donnie said, supporting his older brother.
Raph hid his face, but didn’t cry. “You guys suck.” He said, just loud enough so they could hear.
“We’re here for you, Raph. We care, and we all think you’re pretty great, no matter what you think about yourself.” Leo said, rubbing his shoulder.
Raph lifted his head onto his knees again. “I don’t deserve you guys. You’re too nice to me.”
Mikey shrugged. “If you want us to tease you more, all you gotta do is ask.”
Raph rolled his eyes at him, and Mikey knew to leave him alone. After all, this was a delicate situation.
Raph suddenly hung his head. “Crap,” he groaned.
“What?” Donnie asked.
“I have to wake Casey up. He can’t sleep for a long time.” He said, grimacing. “I don’t wanna see him right now. I can’t.” He whispered, knowing he’d have to go anyway.
Leo squeezed his shoulder. “I can do it. You focus on you, I’ll try and get some answers.” He said, and stood up. Raph wanted him to stay, but he knew he’d come back.
Leo looked down at him, waiting for confirmation. Raph looked back up at him, and hesitantly nodded. Leo nodded back, and walked out of the room, being who his brother needed him to be.
—
Leo opened the door, and stepped into the quiet room. Casey laid on the air mattress, perfectly still with Raph’s favorite blanket wrapped around him. Leo stepped over the bags of chips, completely silent even though he didn’t need to be.
He kneeled on the floor next to the bed, and reached out to grab Casey’s shoulder. Just before he did, Casey spoke.
“I’m awake.” He mumbled, cracking open his eyes, and glaring at him. Leo sighed and sat down, facing the door away from Casey, forearms on his knees.
Leo nodded, knowing Casey was looking at him. “That’s good. We can’t have you sleeping for long. You got pretty hurt.”
Casey stared for a moment, and Leo let him. “You’re not just here to check on me, are you?” Casey asked, and watched Leo let out a breath.
“No.” Leo said, gathering his thoughts. “Raph’s pretty upset. He came to me, and told me what happened. I want you to tell me what happened.”
Casey had a million and one thoughts going through his head at breakneck speed. “Is he okay?”
Leo spared a glance at him before returning his gaze to somewhere across the room. “No. You messed him up pretty good.” He chuckled, nothing about this funny.
“I didn’t mean to.” Casey pleaded, bringing Raph’s favorite blanket up to his nose. It still smelled like him, and if he pretended hard enough, he could imagine Raph right by his side, where he belonged.
“I know.” Leo said, turning to him. “Believe it or not, I’m rooting for you. I want to see the both of you happy. Just tell me what happened, and we’ll figure out the rest.”
Casey thought about it. At this point, he probably wrecked things between Raph and him forever. Raph probably wouldn’t even want to speak to him, let alone date him. He just… he didn’t know what he did wrong. He was gonna tell Raph he felt the same, that he loved him too. But Raph pushed him away. He rejected him. It was over.
But if Leo thought there was hope…
“I was gonna… kiss him.” Casey said, realizing he was coming out to Leo. This was horrible, but it was a small price to pay if he got to have Raph. “I was gonna tell him I– I love him. But he told me to go to sleep, he didn’t even let me finish. I didn’t get to tell him.” Casey said, breathing in the scent of the blanket to calm himself.
Leo thought over his words, and sent a silent apology to Raph, because he was about to tell Casey what he told him. “Raph’s insecure, which I’m sure you know.”
Casey nodded. Of course he knew. Raph was as insecure as he was angry, and he was angry a lot.
Leo continued. “Raph convinced himself that there’s no way you could like him. Mostly because you’re a human, and he’s a mutant.” Leo said, and closely watched Casey for his reaction.
Casey’s eyes opened wide. “Of course I like him! I don’t care that he’s a mutant, he’s my best friend. I want to be more, but he… he might not.” Casey said, suddenly hit with the realization that there might not be a way out of this. They might never be together. They might never be friends again. “And that’s okay.”
Casey steeled himself. He looked into Leo’s eyes, and hoped to anyone up there that they might have a happy ending.
Leo searched his eyes, and found what he was looking for. “Raph really likes you. He wants to be with you more than anything.”
Casey let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He buried his face in the blanket, overcome by joy. They could be together. They could hug, they could kiss, they could–
“But Raph… he didn’t make a move for another reason. There’s a reason he didn’t let it happen.”
Casey looked up. “What?”
Leo pursed his lips. “He said he didn’t want to kiss you because you got brain damage. He thought you weren’t thinking clearly, and that you only acted that way because you got a concussion.” Leo said, taking a breath. “I have to know if he was right or not.”
Casey rolled onto his back and threw an arm on his forehead. “This is so messed up.” He said, closing his eyes. “I’ve loved him since space. I’ve liked him since… since we met, actually. Raph’s wrong.”
Leo let a small smile spread across his face. Casey loved Raph, and Raph loved Casey. All they needed to do was get them together, and this teenage angst shit-show would come to an end.
But right now, the thing both of them needed was time. They needed to get through the night separately, they both needed to think about what they were going to do. Raph would stay with him and the others, and Casey’d be by himself. He felt kinda bad that he wouldn’t have a buddy, but right now Raph needed all of his brothers.
“Thanks, Casey. Get some sleep, you’re gonna need the rest. You can talk to Raph in the morning.” He said, patting him on the shoulder and stood up. “I have to go sit with him. Are you gonna be okay on your own?” Leo asked, looking down at him.
“Yeah.” Casey said, snuggling into the blankets. “I got all these, so it’s like he’s here.” Casey said with a grin. He and Raph might have a chance after all.
Leo was halfway out the door before he turned around. “For real, sleep. You need to.”
Casey nodded, and Leo slipped out the door, making his way back to his room where the others were sure to be.
—
Leo turned the doorknob as quietly as he could, Raph could be sleeping. He opened the door, the blue mood lights still on. Mikey and Raph were sitting on Leo’s bed, leaning against the wall. Raph had his head on Mikey’s shoulder, and Mikey leaned into the touch. They were watching something on Mikey’s phone, and were laughing along, so it was probably a compilation of funny videos, or a funny movie. Donnie was laying on the floor, a pillow under his head and scrolling on his phone.
Leo closed the door behind him, locking it for good measure. It caught the attention of his brothers, so Leo put his hands on his hips.
“Raph needs to sleep. We all do.” Leo said, trying to sound serious but putting in zero effort. After tonight, the last thing any of them needed was for him to start scolding them.
“Do we have to?” Mikey complained. Leo shot him a half-hearted look. “Can we at least finish our video? We only have like seven minutes left!” Mikey said.
Leo sighed. “Fine. As long as I can watch too.”
Mikey and Raph smiled, and Leo crawled onto the bed on the other side of Raph, and scooted close so he could see.
Once the video was over, Mikey turned off his phone. Leo got off the bed, and pulled Mikey with him. “Raph, get under the covers. You’re sleeping here tonight.”
Raph tried and failed to suppress a yawn, covering his mouth so they couldn’t see. “I’m not tired.” He said, wrapping his arms around his legs.
Leo gave him a look. “Just go under the covers. You have a big day tomorrow.”
Raph crawled under the covers, head resting on Leo’s pillow. “What’s tomorrow?” He asked, eyes slipping closed.
Leo grabbed the extra blanket he had from his bed and balled it up, and laid on the floor next to Donnie. Mikey soon followed with a pillow of his own. “You’re making up with Casey.”
Raph’s eyes opened in shock. “Oh. Yeah.” He said quietly, not sure if Leo heard him. “Did he say anything when you went to check on him?”
Mikey and Donnie both rolled over to look at him, wanting all the juicy details. Leo grinned, and Mikey and Donnie followed. “I think you have a real chance with him. A really good one. I say go for it.” Leo said, hoping Raph would.
“And you’re sure?” Raph asked hesitantly.
“I’m sure. You have nothing to worry about.” Leo said, knowing he was pushing him in the right direction.
Up in Leo’s bed, Raph chewed his lip in uncertainty. Leo thought he had a chance, that he didn’t screw it up. That he didn’t screw everything up. He couldn’t help but think of every possibility of it going wrong, of him destroying what they had. He’d almost kissed Casey tonight, and he’d wanted to so badly his heart hurt.
Casey meant everything to him. He wanted to be with him, he wanted to kiss him, he wanted to hold him and never let go. He wanted to hold his hand in front of his brothers, and have them tease him for it. He wanted to go on dates, even if it was just rooftop dates in the middle of Manhattan and not give a damn if anyone saw them. He wanted to kiss him, to run his fingers through his jet black hair, to touch him in places he’d only ever dreamt of.
He had imagined every instance in which way this whole thing could go wrong. But what if everything went right? What if he got everything he wanted? What if Casey wanted him in the same way Raph did, loved each other the way only people in movies were able to? What if Casey didn’t care what he looked like and wanted to touch him like he did, to hold him and feel good in every possible way?
He wanted Casey. He wanted him, and didn’t care if he lost it all because he had to give it a shot. He had to give them a shot. He wanted to be with Casey, and he’d try his damndest to make it work out. He had to, or he’d lose everything anyway, all for nothing.
Raph rolled on his side, facing his brothers. They had his back. They’d be there for him, if it went up in flames or it all worked out. He had his family. He could only hope he’d get more.
He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, dreaming only of Casey Jones.
—
It was seven in the morning. Casey’s alarm had gone off three times already, but he still kept his eyes closed, he still kept thinking about him.
He couldn’t stop thinking about him. He imagined kissing him, holding him, touching him, and everything else. He wanted to be with Raph, and he thought that Raph might too.
There was a knock at the door. Mikey peeked his head in, and scanned the room for Casey. He wasn’t on the air mattress, he’d moved to Raph’s bed shortly after Leo left. He brought all of the blankets with him, drowning him in the scent of him. He didn’t want to get up, he didn’t want to leave Raph’s bed.
“Breakfast’s ready.” Mikey said with a smirk. “Raph’s waiting for you.” He said, winking at Casey.
Casey let out a breath. He’d do anything for Raph. He slowly pulled the covers off him, but took one of the blankets and wrapped it around his shoulders, not wanting to go out with only his t-shirt and pajama pants on.
Mikey watched every movement, giddy with excitement. He was so invested in this, and Casey was just making this more entertaining because he could only imagine the look on Raph’s face when he saw the blanket Casey had around his shoulders.
Mikey pushed open the door for Casey, who swiftly exited, the blanket almost brushing the ground. They walked for a few steps in silence, taking in the morning air. “You nervous?” Mikey asked, glancing over at the other teen.
“Yeah.” Casey said, and didn’t say more. He could barely stand the anxiety that was boiling in his gut. It might’ve been excitement, but he couldn’t tell the difference.
“Don’t worry. You got this.” Mikey said, and pulled back the curtain to the kitchen. Casey slipped inside, followed by Mikey.
Mikey went to the counter, and placed pancakes on everyone’s plates. He quickly sat in his spot, leaving the only available seat next to Raph. His friends sucked.
Casey slid into the chair at the end of the counter, Raph on his right. He was quiet, cutting his pancakes into squares and stabbing them with his fork. The others did the same, except for Mikey, who rolled his up and shoved it in his mouth. Sometimes it was really obvious that they were part animal.
Mikey, Donnie, and Leo were having a conversation. Well, more like Leo and Donnie were critisizing Mikey’s method of eating pancakes.
“Michel. That is obscene.” Donnie said, staring down his immediate younger brother.
“Relax! I’m just practicing for the future when I’m grown enough to suck–”
“Mikey, please. Please don’t finish that sentence. We’re eating.” Leo said, setting down his silverware and putting his head in his hands, because he did not want to think of his little brother doing that. He’d lost his appetite, but persevered because these were actually pretty good pancakes.
Raph let out a chuckle, and glanced at Casey. He immediately did a double take, realizing that Casey had his favorite blanket wrapped around his shoulders. It probably smelled like Casey now.
Raph swallowed his pancakes, and looked away from him. Casey watched him do it out of the corner of his eye, and ate his own. “You look good.” Raph said to him, because he was wearing his blanket and how could he not say something?
Casey’s face had a rosy hue to it. He tried not to spill his guts out and tell him how he felt in front of the others. He wanted to say everything in private, because he wasn’t a fan of confessing his undying love with an audience. “Thanks.” He ended up saying.
Raph nodded, and shoved another forkful into his mouth. His brothers were paying attention to every word they said, watching them like hawks. He didn’t feel great about it, but he admired their dedication.
“Anyway,” Leo said, bringing the attention back to him, “Casey, you never told us what happened, why you’re here. If you’re not comfortable, we can talk about it another time.” He said, trying to be as respectful as he could.
Casey took a sip from the cup of juice that had been placed in front of him, buying him a little time to come up with an answer. He set it back down, knowing all eyes were on him. Raph’s weren’t, he was still staring down at his plate. He already knew after all.
“I– I don’t really want to say.” He said, spinning his fork in his hand. “Raph knows though. He can tell you.”
Raph’s eyes flickered to him, checking to see if he meant it. They stared into each other’s eyes for a little longer than socially appropriate, but neither of them minded. Raph pulled his eyes away before saying anything. “Want me to tell them everything?” He asked, pushing his pancake around.
Casey thought about it. He knew what Raph was talking about, he knew Raph was asking if he could tell them the main reason behind everything. Raph was asking if he could tell his brother’s his sexuality, something he was extremely insecure about. But if all of them knew how he felt already, he didn’t think it would matter. It still made him nervous, but less so than if he would’ve the night before.
“Yeah. I just don’t wanna be here when you do.” He said, stabbing a square of his pancakes.
Raph nodded, because he’d do anything to make Casey comfortable. He didn’t want to make Casey do anything he didn’t want to, because at the end of the day he respected him and his choices. Casey was an adult, they all were. They all deserved respect.
Leo cleared his throat, because this was getting awkward and he didn’t want to be part of that. “Casey, why don’t you go get ready for training? We can talk, and meet in the dojo in a half hour once we’re done.”
Casey nodded, and swallowed the last bite of his pancake. “Sounds good.” He said, and stood up to take care of his dish, because this wasn’t his house and he had to be responsible here. He rinsed off his plate and put it in the dingy old dishwasher, along with his cup. He stepped out of the room, but not without a glance at Raph, who smiled softly at him. He smiled back, and walked to Raph’s room, where he’d get ready for the day.
—
Casey pushed open the door to Raph’s room, and sighed. That was a lot. Raph would be nice about the whole thing, not put it too harshly, but he wouldn’t sugar coat it either. That was one of the many things he liked about him.
In reality, it took Casey about ten minutes to get ready. There was no point to get all his gear on now and just sit there, so he climbed back into Raph’s bed, throwing the covers back down around him. He sat there for a moment, just breathing in the scent of him and relaxing.
Time must’ve gone by faster than he thought, because suddenly Raph was knocking and pushing open the door. “Oh.” Raph said, seeing Casey snuggled up in his bed. He would never admit it in a hundred years, but Casey in his bed did things to him.
Raph walked over to the bed and stood next to it, walking his fingers along the blankets. “I told the others what happened.” He said after a moment.
Casey pulled a blanket closer to his chest. “How’d it go?”
Raph sighed. “It was okay. They want to kill your father, but other than that, they’re okay with everything.” He said, referencing his sexuality.
Raph didn’t want to get ready for training. It wouldn’t take long to do so, and he wanted to be next to Casey. He looked adorable all cuddled up in his bed, and he wanted nothing more than to–
Casey lifted up the covers and scooted closer to the wall. He didn’t say anything, but he stared into Raph’s eyes, silently asking him to. Raph’s heart beat faster, and he slipped into bed, pulling the covers up to his shoulder.
They weren’t touching. They weren't that far apart, but it was enough that they both felt the distance. Raph carefully moved his hand to Casey’s waist, and he looked into his half-lidded eyes and then to his lips, trying to tell him what he wanted without saying anything.
Casey licked his lips, and hated the words he was going to say. “We don’t have enough time.” He said, because they only had maybe ten minutes before they had to get out of bed and get ready for training.
Raph looked away, anywhere but his eyes. He knew now that Casey liked him back, but he hated that he had to wait. He was right though, they didn’t have enough time. He pulled his hand back, not wanting to cross a boundary he shouldn’t.
Casey reached out and grabbed his hand, putting it back where it was on his waist. Casey caught his gaze, and scooted a little closer. “Just… hold me for a while?” He asked, face red. It was embarrassing being this open, but they had to take small steps if this was going to go anywhere. He put his hand on Raph’s shoulder, and tried to pull him closer.
And Raph wanted to. He tightened his grip on Casey’s waist, and pulled him closer so Casey’s head was buried in his chest, and Raph’s chin on the top of his head. Casey wrapped his arm around him, pulling himself as close as he could to him. “This okay?” Raph asked, running a hand up and down his side.
“Yeah.” Casey mumbled, strangely comfortable against the hardness of Raph’s plastron. He could hear Raph’s heart beating in his chest, going a million miles an hour, not unlike his own. They stayed like that for as long as either one of them dared, before Raph pulled away and Casey followed his lead.
“We gotta go.” Raph said, hating his older brother for making them train today. He slipped his hand from Casey’s side and into his hand, crawling out of bed until they were both standing face to face.
Casey gazed down at him, wanting nothing more than to bend down and kiss him. Raph put his hands on Casey’s waist and rested his forehead on his chest. “I don’t wanna go.” Raph said, leaning into him.
Casey looped his arms over his shoulders. “I don’t wanna either.” He said, pulling Raph close. “But maybe after, we can come back here?” He asked, hoping Raph would say yes. Maybe they could kiss, and after that, who knows what.
Raph sucked in a breath. After training, they’d kiss. After training, they’d get together, and it would all end well. “Yeah.” He said, and heard Casey’s heart beat faster at his response.
Casey hugged Raph tighter. “We gotta get dressed.” He said, not wanting to let go.
Raph wrapped his arms around him. “I know.” He said, and after a moment, let go. He stepped back, and Casey did the same. Raph walked to his desk where his belt and wraps were, and grabbed his belt to slide it on.
Casey, across the room, dug around in his duffle looking for his jeans and a normal-people shirt to wear. He pulled them out of his bag and stood up, and because he was an asshole and knew Raph was watching, stripped out of his pajama pants and shirt, leaving him in just his boxers. He heard Raph still behind him, and Casey bit his lip trying not to laugh.
Raph on the other hand was a mess. He had his belt halfway on when Casey started stripping, and almost dropped it at the sight. He stood completely still watching his muscles move around under his skin, his toned arms and legs obvious even in the low light. He reluctantly pulled his eyes away and slid up his belt, followed by his knee and elbow pads.
Casey was in his day clothes by the time Raph was starting on his hand, wrist, and leg wraps. As much as he thought it would be romantic if Casey did his wraps for him, the guy didn’t have a clue as to how it was done. So he was alone in this, but he didn’t mind. He liked it a certain way anyway.
Casey watched him work, the intricate movements precise. When Raph finished, he stood up and made his way to the door. Casey was close behind him, and with a final look at him, they exited and made their way to the dojo.
—
They were the last to enter, but neither of them minded. Donnie and Mikey were kneeling, and Leo was standing, because when Splinter died, he’d been promoted to sensei.
Not long after Leo killed the Shredder, the four brothers had sat down and had a long conversation about what had happened. It was Leo’s idea, but everyone participated because they all needed to get their feelings out. Leo had told them how Splinter had expected him to be like a father to his brothers, and they’d all agreed that Leo was their brother, first and foremost. He could and would never replace Splinter, but they did need Leo to be sensei so he could better lead the team.
Raph, Mikey, and Donnie had all said their piece about it. They’d all said how they were doing with the death of Splinter and the Shredder, and Leo had said how awful it was to take a life. He didn’t regret it, it needed to happen so they could be free and avenge their father, but he never wanted to be put in that position ever again. They all agreed that they’d never make Leo do it, and he was forever grateful.
Raph kneeled next to Donnie, Casey on his left. He looked up at Leo, who gave him a pointed look. Leo looked from Raph to Casey, and back to Raph, communicating a simple did you work things out?
Raph rolled his eyes and shook his head, meaning, no, and would you move on already?
Leo sighed, but addressed the group. “Since I’m sensei and I don’t want to make things too difficult today, we’re just going to be sparring. We don’t have any enemies to fight anyway.” He said, and Mikey cheered. Mikey never had enough focus to last through training anyway, so he took every chance he could to get out of it.
Leo gave Mikey a look, and he quieted. “We’ll be doing a tournament. Donnie and Mikey, you’re up first.” Leo said, and stood to the side. The pair stood up and took defensive stances toward each other, weapons at the ready, waiting for Leo to start them, which he did. “Begin!”
At first, Donnie and Mikey seemed to be evenly matched. But Mikey’d been practicing lately, and he’d learned a few moves. Before any of them knew it, Donnie was down, and holding onto his now-bruised arm.
“Ow.” Donnie said, glaring at his younger brother who was doing a victory dance.
“You just can’t take all my awesomeness. I got the moves!” He yelled, happy that he won. He didn’t always give it his all during training, but he thought he’d crank it up to ninety percent today.
They both kneeled again, and Mikey blew a raspberry at Donnie. Donnie flicked him on the forehead, and turned back to Leo.
Leo suppressed a smile, because no one can be serious all the time. “Next, Raph and Casey.” He said, and now had to work extra hard not to smile. Donnie and Mikey were trying not to laugh as well, because this was going to go one of two ways:
One, they’d treat it like a real fight and actually try to take each other down, or two, make them all uncomfortable with their lovey-dovey-ness. The three of them were hoping for the former, but would likely get the latter.
Raph and Casey stood, standing opposite of each other. Leo took a step back to give them room, more than they probably needed, but he wanted to get out of their way for his own sake. The tension in the room was through the roof.
Casey and Raph eyed each other, prepared to fight but not prepared to fight each other. Neither had any idea how this would go, but that they needed to do it so they could go and do other things.
“Begin!” Leo said, and the fight began.
Raph spun his sai and stabbed forward, which Casey dodged. He grabbed his hockey stick and tried to hit it on Raph’s side, but Raph ducked and swung his leg, knocking Casey off his feet. He quickly approached and pointed his sai down at his throat, gazing into his eyes.
Raph stood for a moment, taking in Casey’s expression. He didn’t look scared at all, more impressed and… in love. That’s what the look Casey gave him was. He was in love with him, just like Raph was, and he could barely stand the waiting.
Leo put a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of the trance he was in. “That’s enough, you two.” Leo said, sick of their love games. They needed to get together now, or his patience was going to crumble more than it already had. “Raph, Casey, why don’t you guys take a walk. Training’s over for you guys.” He said, helping Casey up, because it was clear Raph wasn’t going to in the state he was in.
Raph cleared his throat and sheathed his sai. “Right.” He glanced at Casey. “C’mon, we have things to do.” He said, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the dojo.
Once they had stepped out, Raph released his grip on Casey’s arm and grabbed his hand. He pulled him across the lair and into his room, closing the door behind them, sliding the lock shut.
“I’m gonna put my pajamas back on. More comfortable, y’know?” Casey said, walking over to his bag. Raph nodded and sat down at his desk, peeling the wraps he’d carefully applied off. He heard Casey strip down once again, but couldn’t even look in favor of getting his belt and pads off. He’d just slipped out of his belt when he saw Casey slide into Raph’s bed, scooting as far back as he could.
Raph made his way over to the bed and crawled in, just as he had before. He pulled the covers back over the both of them, and grabbed Casey’s hand under the covers. He pressed his shin against Casey’s, and he did the same.
Raph squeezed his hand. “Casey, I–”
“Please let me go first.” Casey interrupted, heart beating faster than he ever thought it would. Raph met his eyes, and his chin trembled, feeling in his soul that his entire life had led up to this point. “How long have we known each other, like, three, four years?” Casey asked him.
“Three and a half.” Raph whispered.
“Well, you see, that’s– that’s three and a half years that I’ve had feelings for you.” Casey said, and that was it. They’d finally begun to talk about their feelings for each other, and get everything out in the open. It was terrifying.
Raph’s breath hitched, unable to cope with the fact of his statement. It couldn’t be true, could it? There was no way this had gone on for three and a half years and he’d had no clue.
“And– and it’s been hard, ‘cause you had that whole thing with Mona, and you’re over her, but I hated that time ‘cause I thought, “Wow, he’s got the girl of his dreams, and I’m never gonna get that.” I was pretty broken up about it for a long time.”
“Casey.” Raph said, crushed that Casey’d felt that way. He didn’t have feelings for Mona anymore, he barely ever thought about her. Casey’d been on his mind since the start. He’d only dated Mona because he never thought it’d work between him and Casey.
“But then you broke up with her, and I hated that I felt like I had a chance again. ‘Cause you were upset, and I had to be there for you, but I was selfish ‘cause I wanted you for myself.” He said, looking away and at their connected hands. Casey was shaking, and he was scared even though he knew Raph felt the same. It was just hard because this had been a long time coming.
Casey continued. “And then life happened. Dregg, Splinter, Shredder, that stupid charade with Tiger Claw and all your misadventures. I thought we’d never get a chance, but I was wrong. We do have a chance, and a really good one.” He said, pulling their hands toward his chest, needing to feel more than he had. “And I just– I love you so much and I don’t ever wanna stop.” He said, and brought his gaze back up to Raph’s.
And Raph? He was floored. He had to tell him he loved him. He had to tell him before he couldn’t–
Raph drew in a shaky breath. “All my life I wondered– I wondered if anyone would ever love me as much as I love them. But now?” He took a breath, trying not to tear up, “Never in a million years did I think I’d be lucky enough to fall in love with you. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.” He said, and brought his hand up to run it through Casey’s silky hair.
Casey draped his arm across Raph’s waist, gazing into his eyes. He pulled himself a little closer, and Raph did the same until they were only inches apart, bodies flush with each other. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a really long time.” Casey whispered, and Raph felt his breath on his lips, and dragged his eyes away from them.
“Then kiss me.” Raph said, and Casey didn’t hesitate to lean in and press their lips together.
It was perfect. It was like sitting on rooftops watching fourth of July fireworks, like hot coffee on cold winter nights. It was like playing video games together, like pranking Mikey back when he got a little too brave. It was the fluttering heartbeats of the last day they’d spent together, the feeling of calmness and peace. It was like coming home, and neither of them wanted it to end.
Raph pulled away and rested his forehead against Casey’s. “I love you. I love you so much.” He breathed, because he’d finally gotten everything he’d ever wanted.
Casey laughed, a breathless, happy chuckle that Raph couldn’t help but replicate. “I love you too.” He smiled, looking into Raph’s eyes. They stared for a moment, taking in each other’s expression because neither of them wanted to forget this moment.
Before Raph could even think to hesitate, he dove back in and pressed his lips against Casey’s, taking his lower lip and biting softly onto it. Casey moaned and wrapped a hand around Raph’s side, pulling his waist closer to his.
Raph moved his hand from Casey’s hair and trailed it down his body, running a thumb just under the waistline of his pajama pants. He grabbed it and pulled down the smallest bit, and pulled out of the kiss.
“Do you— do you want me?” Raph asked, breath quick and heart pounding.
Casey pressed the bulge in his pants into Raph’s plastron and tried not to moan. His breaths were just as fast, and he quickly nodded before leaning back in to kiss him, slowly rubbing himself against Raph.
Raph slowly pulled down his pants, inch by inch. He couldn’t help but press his hips into Casey’s, he wanted him to feel good, needed him to feel good. Casey let out a moan, and he swallowed it up with a kiss.
When Raph couldn’t pull his pants down any further, he grabbed Casey’s waist and flipped him onto his back, and straddled his hips, feeling his cloaca pulse with his heartbeat, feeling like he was about to drop. He pulled his hips up, saying, “Lift.” softly but sternly.
Casey did what he was told, and lifted his hips, unable to believe they were actually doing this. He’d wanted him like this for so long, he’d wanted to hold him, touch him, kiss him– and now it was happening. His face was flushed, and he bit his lip in anticipation.
Raph pulled his pants down, along with his boxers. Casey kicked them off, pushing them farther underneath the covers. He sat up and pulled his shirt off, then laid back down onto the bed, his body on display for him.
Raph gazed down at him, taking in his appearance. Casey squirmed, wanting Raph to just touch him already and kiss him and fuck him and–
“You’re beautiful.” Raph whispered to him, and Casey’s dick leaked precum at his words.
Casey couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed Raph’s hand and wrapped it around his dick, and squeezed. He let out a moan, and Raph’s mouth watered.
Raph was seconds from dropping. He could feel his dick twitch in his shell, and he could feel his cloaca start to part. Raph leaned over Casey, putting his left forearm next to Casey’s head, and slowly pumped Casey’s dick. He connected their lips, biting hard on Casey’s lip.
Despite holding back, Raph’s dick slipped out of him, and he let out a breathy moan. He let go of Casey’s dick and wrapped his hand around both of them, gripping their dicks tightly. A wave of pleasure shot through his body, and he sped up his movements.
Casey wrapped his hand around the back of Raph’s, and squeezed harder, the friction making him pull his lips from Raph’s and throwing his head back with a quiet moan, trying to be as quiet as he could.
Raph leaned down to his ear, pressing his hips down further, sending another shock of pleasure through his body. “You can be loud.” He whispered, and Casey bit his lip, pressing his hips up to meet Raph’s. Casey moaned loudly, not caring if anyone else heard.
“I want you inside me.” Casey said, pulling Raph’s face to meet his, and captured his mouth in a kiss. Raph’s dick leaked precum, huge globs covering his hand and their dicks.
Raph let go of their dicks and brought his hand down to Casey’s asshole, circling the rim of it. He pressed the tip of his finger inside, and leaned his forehead against Casey’s. “This okay?” He asked, a bead of sweat dripping down his face.
Casey brought a hand up and caressed the side of Raph’s face, keeping his eyes closed. “Just keep going.” He said, taking his dick in his hand and pumping it. Raph nodded, and pressed his finger in until the knuckle. Casey panted, and threw his head back again, whining through his swollen lips.
Raph moved his finger inside him, brushing up against Casey’s prostate. Casey writhed under his touch, moving his hand faster on his dick.
Raph slowly pulled his finger out and pressed the tip of his dick against Casey’s tight hole. He slowly pushed in, moving past the ring of muscle angonizingly slow, making Casey’s heart thump with desperation. Raph bottomed out, going against every instinct in his body that told him to move. He sensed Casey was ready, so he pulled back, far enough so it was just the tip of his dick left inside him and slammed his hips against Casey’s, making him moan louder than he thought he could.
Raph started slowly, pumping in and out at a slow, even pace until Casey’s thighs started to quake. Raph fucked him faster, until his hips were stuttering and Casey’s thighs were trembling and glistening with sweat, the feeling of Raph inside him so good and right and Raph was hitting his prostate at just the right angle and he knew he was seconds from an orgasm.
Raph was just about to fall over the edge. “Casey, I’m– I’m gonna–” He said, and then orgasmed inside him, slowing his movements and riding out his orgasm. He moaned loudly, and at the sound, Casey came, thick white ropes spilling on his chest.
Raph fell onto the bed, half on top of Casey. They both heaved breaths, unable to grasp what had just happened. They’d gotten together and subsequently fucked, and neither could believe that it happened.
“That was…” Casey breathed. “Holy fuck.”
Raph laughed, head resting on Casey’s chest. “I know.” He said, and they plunged into silence.
Casey took a breath, his heart rate stablizing. “Do you think the others heard?”
“Oh, they definitely did.”
The pair was quiet once more, taking in each others presence. This had been one hell of a twenty-four hour period, Casey going through shit and Raph trying to cope with the whole thing.
But none of that mattered, because they had each other. Everything would be just fine.