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At the corner of a bustling conference after party, Kim Dokja was standing idly, trying to avoid as many people as he could.
He recalled Jung Heewon’s words about how it was recommended that he and the other significant members of the nebula stayed behind for this after party, something about how it would greatly affect their reputation. And so he agreed to stay, but he quickly noticed that this was a horrible idea.
Come to think of it, when he agreed, Yoo Sangah seemed to have a look of uncertainty on her face. After that, she tried diligently to stay by his side, but it didn’t take long for that plan to crumble.
Sangah and Heewon were dragged away immediately by a few representatives from other authority groups, and Han Sooyoung was more than happy to oblige when a few excited reporters approached her for autographs. Somewhere down the line, Yoo Joonghyuk had been pulled away by another group of people, and so here Kim Dokja was, looking very much like an average party attendee, but feeling very much like a wreck.
He hadn’t eaten any of the foods provided, nor had he had any drinks. He simply knew that if he did, he would have thrown them up by now. Thank goodness the venue’s lighting was dim, so no one would notice how pale his face was, and how his fingers trembled around his wine glass that hadn’t changed its volume from half an hour ago.
Ever since the constellation banquet, he had figured that perhaps he was slowly starting to get used to being in party-like settings with people that he didn’t know. He however, did not take into account that during the constellation banquet, the constellations weren’t all that interested in him so long as he stayed out of sight, and at the very most, they would simply shout encouragement his way if they liked him, whilst in this situation…
“Demon King of Salvation! May we have a few words please?”
“Kim Dokja sir, we would like to interview you again…”
“Representative of Kim Dokja’s Company, please, just a few words…!”
[The exclusive skill “Fourth Wall” is shaking.]
Everywhere he went, there were people waiting for him around the corner. He tried his best to answer the most he could at first, thinking that maybe if he tried a little, he could overcome this sickly feeling in his stomach. But with every line he spoke, the truth had become more apparent.
Oh, it felt like high school all over again.
Those reporters clambering around him, shoving their notebooks, microphones and cameras in his face. He felt the memories of the emotions he had buried away bubbling up in his throat, and he pushed away from them.
“I’m sorry, please excuse me.”
That was all he could mumble. His heart rate wasn’t helping, his fingers felt cold and at some point he had to put the glass down somewhere so he wouldn’t drop it from the sweat of his palms. He was certain that he spilled a few drops here and there while moving.
He considered texting the company members, asking them to come back and be with him. But how pathetic would that be? He stared at his private Midday Tryst window to Yoo Joonghyuk, deliberating for a long time whether he should send something, anything.
In the end he shut his eyes and hid himself in a secluded corner of the floor, a few rooms away from the main area.
There was no Uriel here. There was no Mass Production Maker, and there was no Persephone or Hades. He couldn’t just ask his party members to brush their jobs aside to come babysit him. He…
The buzzing of the crowd in the distance worsened as they seemed to only grow more excited with every passing minute. To his horror, the noises emanating from the crowd behind him started to muffle, and he felt a familiar yet unwelcomed fog expand in his ears. A small, ringing sound permeated his head. He hated this. He hated this. Somehow the voices started sounding like the reporters back then that were around his house, hounding him every hour.
[The exclusive skill “Fourth Wall” is crumbling slightly.]
Oh god, was that thumping feeling his heartbeat? Dokja pressed the back of his head against the wall, folding his arms tight to give himself some semblance of warmth. Don’t think about the past, it’s okay, don’t think about the past.
“I am Yoo Joonghyuk,” Even his own voice was muffled. He began to use an old prayer like his life depended on it, the words flowing out of old habits. “I am Yoo Joonghyuk.”
He didn’t know how long he stayed there repeating those words, like a desperate blanket of safety.
“...ou’re who now?”
“...ja. Kim Dokja–”
“Kim Dokja.”
A dark shadow cast upon him when he opened his eyes. If he weren’t in this wreck of a situation he would probably feel mortified. But right now he was just relieved, just a little bit.
“Here you are.” Joonghyuk’s brows furrowed, in front of him was his opened Midday Tryst window, hovering under his fingertip. Dokja struggled to hear him amongst the fog in his ears. “You can’t just send this cryptic thing without telling me where you are.”
Did he send something…? Dokja opened Midday Tryst to be met with a barrage of messages.
[Kim Dokja: ,.]
[Yoo Joonghyuk: What?]
[Yoo Joonghyuk: Don’t send useless things.]
[Yoo Joonghyuk: Kim Dokja?]
Oh. Did he send that by accident when he had the window open? Dokja laughed, or attempted to laugh, at the messages, his face crinkling up into a weak grin.
“Are you sure you shouldn’t be with the interviewers right now?” Was he saying that loudly enough?
“It’s fine, I asked Han Sooyoung to create an avatar that resembled me.”
She could do that? It probably wasn’t easy…
“R-Right, I see, thanks for coming to find me, I’ll just get ready and go back–”
“Hold it,” Joonghyuk gripped onto Dokja’s shoulder with a force that would have probably broken Dokja’s bones if the former wasn’t holding back. And of course, Dokja was simply too weak to struggle, so he stayed there, held against the wall.
Joonghyuk held his gaze for a moment, scanning his companion intently, before letting out a sigh.
“You’re staying here until I say otherwise.”
“I’m fine. It’s okay.”
“You’re fine?” Joonghyuk’s lips twisted into a frown. “Maybe I should purchase a hand mirror from the Dokkaebi shop for you. You’re as pale as a ghost.”
Complexion aside, Dokja’s breathing wasn’t the most stable either, though both of them could hear it.
“No really, it’s just the lighting…” Dokja tried to grasp Joonghyuk’s wrist, but his fingers trembled as they wrapped around it. Don’t look at me when I’m in this state, don’t look at me. His mind was screaming. He could feel the sweat on his clammy palms rub a bit onto the sleeve and he let go. “I’m sorry, I–”
Oh his heart was racing so much now he felt nauseous. Joonghyuk’s expression was out of his sight as Dokja hunched over to look away, but the former regressor seemed to be quiet for a moment before holding out his hand.
Right, their secret way of asking each other if it was okay to come into contact. Even though it started off as a half-hearted request, Joonghyuk was surprisingly the type of person to take this rule seriously. Dokja shook his head. His palms were sweating and he didn’t want Joonghyuk to feel disgusted by him. Anyone but Yoo Joonghyuk.
“Please.” The deep grit in Joonghyuk’s voice was a little softer, and he squeezed his other hand that still gripped Dokja’s shoulder.
It was probably because Joonghyuk had never asked for permission so gently, but something in Dokja’s stubbornness crumbled a little, and he found himself reaching up to hold the outstretched hand. For a moment he was mortified, seeing his fingers jitter and feeling his sweaty palms against Joonghyuk’s warm skin, but Joonghyuk immediately closed his hand, clasping Dokja’s so tightly and firmly that all his paranoia washed away.
“... Yoo Joonghyuk,” He mumbled out with dry lips.
“Kim Dokja,” Joonghyuk started, in a tone laced with concern so subtle Dokja could just barely hear it. Now that his face was a little closer, his voice sounded a bit clearer amongst the fog. Then he went quiet. The stillness in his body was palpable, and Dokja felt the crackling of Omniscient Reader’s Second Viewpoint flow through his head.
[He looks like he could topple over at any moment.]
[This bastard…]
[His earlier expression…]
[Maybe an embrace would be pushing it too far this time.]
[What should I do…]
Joonghyuk’s thoughts were racing with a stern intensity like a churning thunderstorm. Questions about whether Dokja’s panic would further worsen if he got closer flooded his mind, and it was a little absurd to hear these thoughts while looking at the perpetually anger-filled face of Joonghyuk. Somewhere down the line, the thoughts started shifting into mathematical calculations. What on earth was this former regressor doing…?
Dokja stifled out a chuckle, the tears that he tried to keep in brimming over the corners of his eyes slightly.
“Kim Dokja, this isn’t a laughing matt…”
“Just,” Dokja blurted out, and wow, his voice really was shaking horribly. “Just hold me already.”
Without saying another word, Joonghyuk leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his companion tightly, one around the back of his waist, one clasped over the back of his shoulders. The strong motion nearly knocked the wind in his lungs out. It felt like he was being smothered by pillows, Dokja sputtered slightly before it dawned on him how perfectly snug the man’s body felt wrapped around him like this.
Joonghyuk could feel the pounding in Dokja’s chest, and the irregular breathing against his collar. Dokja’s hands shook as he reached around to rest them on Joonghyuk’s back. The latter was never good with knowing what to say in situations like these, and so he said nothing. Instead, he carefully combed his fingers through Dokja’s hair, slowly, just like how he would whenever Yoo Mia had a horrible nightmare.
Dokja’s breath hitched, and he gradually allowed himself to relax into the touch, closing his eyes and burying his face in Joonghyuk’s shoulder. The warmth and pressure of the embrace was more comforting than he’d like to admit. He felt the rising and falling of Joonghyuk’s chest, the man was taking deep breaths himself. And so, perhaps according to what Joonghyuk intended, he found himself trying to match those slow, drawn out breaths.
It worked, to some extent. It took a while, but the fog in his ears slowly faded away. The droning of the reporters’ voices in the distant room were audible once more, but Dokja didn’t feel so scared anymore, not when there was this large bear enveloping him.
Somehow, just by Joonghyuk’s warmth, he felt like there was a safe thick boundary between him and those voices. Several minutes later, he found his breath stabilizing. Joonghyuk’s hand on his head seemed to shift so he could thread through larger tufts of hair, and he muttered a quiet phrase.
“Good job.”
It was embarrassing how those words nearly made Dokja choke out a sob. When he opened his eyelids again, his vision swam, his eyes adjusting to the light after being closed against Joonghyuk’s coat for so long.
Seemingly worried if the noises would make his panic worsen once more, Joonghyuk released his hand on Dokja’s head, moving it down to cover his ear. Dokja momentarily stunned at the soft touch, before melting into a smile, his eyes tilting up at his companion. He lifted his own hand, gingerly wiping off the cold sweat on his coat, and placing it over Joonghyuk’s so he could guide it forward to his cheek instead.
His eyes fluttered shut once more as he leaned into the touch, sighing. Joonghyuk watched with an unreadable expression, and moved his thumb to gently brush over his skin.
“... Thanks.” Dokja finally spoke.
“We can leave first if you’d like.”
“But the after party…”
“If any of them objects,” Joonghyuk furrowed his brows. “Changing their minds by force wouldn’t be too difficult.”
“I’d rather you refrain from committing violence on the citizens…”
Dokja still felt like a mess. But he was better than before. He gazed at Joonghyuk for a while, and the latter returned the action. It was odd that they had reached a point where exchanging long glances wouldn’t make them feel awkward.
[... I love him.] Joonghyuk’s thoughts rang through Dokja’s mind and he froze. His cheeks warmed up as he looked away, crumpling back into Joonghyuk’s grasp pathetically.
“Kim Dokja?”
“Y-Yeah you’re right. We should get going… I’d rather be in the industrial building than here, haha…”
Joonghyuk stared at him, deep in thought for a moment, before his eyes widened. As if putting something to the test, new thoughts of his started forming in his head, and flowed over to Dokja’s easily.
[I love you.]
[I love you.]
“S-Stop. Stop. Hey.” Dokja reached up immediately to push him away, his face flushing. He didn’t know how Joonghyuk could think such things with that stoic look of his.
[It’s not my fault your skill is active.]
“It activated on its own–”
Squirming out of the hug, Dokja haphazardly straightened his coat with renewed vigor, his eyes looking everywhere but Joonghyuk. If only he’d see the faint smugness on that face.
“I’ll use Midday Tryst to let Han Sooyoung know.”
“... Okay. Thank you.”
“Are you okay with going back in there once more? The exit can only be accessed in that room.”
“I know. I’ll manage.”
The sickly feeling in his stomach wasn’t completely gone, but he’d rather leave than spend a minute longer in this place. Furthermore… I have you now, Dokja wanted to say. He wasn’t all that used to saying such things yet. Nevertheless, Joonghyuk probably knew, he always did.
[The exclusive skill “Fourth Wall” has recovered.]
Ah, he couldn’t wait to go home and see the kids. Distracting himself with his endless thoughts, he followed Joonghyuk back into the room, and soon after, back home.