Chapter Text
Summer After 5th Grade
Obi-Wan couldn’t stop smiling.
The sun reflected off the lake’s rippling surface in a sparkling display of everything summer had in store. Bird song rang in his ears and the air smelled vaguely of pine and soil and gentle morning breeze.
And Obi-Wan could not stop smiling.
He’d been looking forward to this for so long he could hardly believe he was actually here.
Camp Kalevala.
A summer in the woods.
A summer with new people and new experiences and Obi-Wan couldn’t wait to try everything.
Standing on the front porch of the small wooden cabin, Obi-Wan waited for his councilor and the two or three other cabin mates who had decided to take part in the daily polar plunge. It was their first real day of camp and though he’d never jumped into a freezing cold lake first thing in the morning, when the counselors had told them there was a certificate at the end of camp for anyone who went every single day, he knew he wouldn’t be sleeping in.
The walk to the waterfront was short but it was more than long enough for Obi-Wan’s mind to go fuzzy with all the promise of the coming weeks, a stupid smile on his face even as he shivered in the morning fog. This was going to be a summer he would never forget.
“Hey!” A high voice called out just as Obi-Wan collided with the line of people he hadn’t realized had stopped walking, “Watch where you’re going!”
Shaking his head, it took a moment for his eyes to focus on the girl in front of him, golden hair and icy blue eyes. Her voice was sharp and startling in the quiet morning, and Obi-Wan’s heart gave a few insistent thuds in his chest.
“Terribly sorry,” he replied with an apologetic smile, taking a small step back when he realized they were standing quite close, “I suppose I’m not quite awake yet.”
Her pink lips drew into an unimpressed frown and Obi-Wan couldn’t help but notice she was quite pretty.
“Yes, that is the whole point of this exercise,” she spat back, adding, “it’s hardly an excuse for walking into someone,” before rolling her eyes dramatically and turning her back to him.
Pretty and rude.
*
“Mine is clearly closer to the center than his is,” Satine argued, gesturing at her target as the councilors tallied up everyone’s achievements for the day.
“That doesn’t change the fact that they’re both bullseyes.”
Satine groaned at the sound of his voice.
It was so annoying.
He was so annoying.
The thorn in her side. The cloud in her sky. The bane of her entire existence.
Obi-Wan Kenobi was the absolute worst.
Ever since that first morning when he’d walked directly into her, he’d been a constant nuisance. Their cabins seemed to be scheduled together for everything and wherever Obi-Wan went, a headache was sure to follow.
He was brash, arrogant, and aggressively competitive, somehow made worse by the fact that he was smart and interesting and everyone genuinely seemed to like him despite the fact that he was unquestionably, unambiguously, unequivocally the worst.
Especially the little spot on his cheek and the way he always reminded everyone to reapply their sunscreen.
Satine hated him so much.
Summer After 6th Grade
“You’re out!”
“Oh, I most certainly am not,” Satine objected, standing up and brushing at the grass that now stained her clothes, “I hit the base before the ball hit me!”
It would be a game-winning run and she was certain she’d beat the big red ball to home plate.
“Actually—”
Satine immediately felt her blood begin to boil. The number of times she had heard that word ‘actually’ in that horrible voice of his in the short weeks they’d been here was enough to drive her mad.
“Actually, that sound is a red-tailed hawk, not a bald eagle.”
“Actually, those aren’t the words to the song.”
“Actually, I just think I’m better than everyone else.”
He hadn’t really said that last one, but he may as well have.
Satine was not in the mood to hear what followed that horrible word.
“— Satine is right.”
Except if it was that.
*
Obi-Wan sat by himself in the corner of the old art and crafts barn. It wasn’t exactly his favorite activity, he wasn’t particularly good at it but at least it was quiet and he found some of the projects to be almost meditative.
He folded and looped plastic strands together again and again, his eyes going crossed a few times in that space between concentrating and zoning out. He hadn’t even noticed when someone sat down next to him but the moment he smelled the flowers in her shampoo he knew who it was.
Obi-Wan kept his head down, trying not to even acknowledge her. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to her — Satine was smart and funny and unique in a way he thought would make them friends but every time he opened his stupid mouth he seemed to say exactly the wrong thing.
So maybe he’d just stop talking altogether. Maybe that would keep him from putting his foot in his mouth. It seemed to be working right now as the minutes passed and she remained there, seated next to him.
When their time in the barn was winding to an end, Obi-Wan found himself feeling a bit bold. Not bold enough to say anything, but enough to look up, smiling when their eyes met.
To his relief, she returned his warm expression, holding his gaze for a few moments before shifting her focus to the boondoggle in his hands.
“You missed a stitch.”
Summer After 7th Grade
Unfortunately, not every day at camp was a perfect day.
In fact, some days, Obi-Wan just wanted to go home.
Cabin inspections had been that morning and Obi-Wan had been the only one actually doing anything to make sure they passed. Kit had rubbed every window with a dry paper towel and called them all ’clean’. Mace had walked around with a broom in his hand all morning, though Obi-Wan had never once seen the bristles so much as skim across the floor. Pre hadn’t even pretended to help.
Obi-Wan had wound up doing everything, just like last year, and the year before that.
They’d passed. Barely. Obi-Wan had drawn the line at making anyone else’s bed but his own and thankfully his cabin mates' slovenly bunks hadn’t been enough to fail them.
The afternoon’s activity was the climbing wall and Obi-Wan was looking forward to having something simple to focus on. Which grip to grab next, the fastest path to the top, climbing higher and higher until no one could talk to him, the spectacular view of Camp Kalevala laid out before him.
“Obi-Wan?”
The sound of her voice sent a chill down his spine.
He didn’t want to compete today, he didn’t want to argue, he didn’t want to prove anything to anyone, and if there was one person who was going to pick at his last nerve, it was absolutely going to be Satine Kryze.
“What is it?” Obi-Wan snapped, spinning around to take in the look of surprise on her face, “Have I done my harness wrong? Would you like to critique my knots? Or am I simply somehow in your way?”
Satine’s pink lips fell open in a gasp that was barely more than a breath, her brow pinched in confusion, her sparkling blue eyes raking over his face like she was trying to analyze his innermost thoughts. Her hair seemed to glow golden in the bright afternoon sun and Obi-Wan found himself trying to name the color tinting her cheeks when he noticed she was holding two helmets, one in each hand, a bright red dome of plastic still stretched out in offering to him.
“Oh,” he breathed when the reality of the situation settled in his mind, “That was— I didn’t mean—”
“You’re the only one who cleans right?”
Obi-Wan felt his cheeks flush.
He wondered if the shade of pink matched hers.
“Is it that obvious?”
The chuckle in his tone was bright and genuine as a wide smile spread across his face like the sun peeking through thick clouds.
“Boys are gross,” Satine laughed, her easy smile helping his shoulders to relax while making his brain feel both full and blank at the same time, “but you seem—”
“Hygienic?” Obi-Wan suggested, finally reaching out to accept the helmet she had offered.
For a long moment, they were both holding onto bright red plastic, neither of them looking down at their hands, eyes locked like magnets, every bone in his body begging him to pull her closer.
“Different.”
*
“Satine and Obi-Wan sittin’ in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”
They were far too old for that schoolyard chant but telling them so wouldn’t make the chanting stop and they both knew it.
They’d denied it enough times over the summer — only a few days left before they all went home — and yelling rebuttals from canoe to canoe across the lake seemed less than pointless.
“I wish they would just shut up,” Satine muttered from the back of the boat, taking another annoyed stroke, letting the paddle trail behind just enough to correct their direction.
“Maybe we just have to make them shut up,” Obi-Wan offered, tossing a look over his shoulder that made her heart flutter.
“Don’t be stupid,” she said with a nervous laugh that simply would not stay inside.
Then he was turning around to face her, that horrible cocky grin splitting his lips, graceful enough not to rock the boat. His eyes were bright and intense, the way they got when he was staring down the length of an arrow or readying his Sunfish for a sail and Satine tried to ignore the way butterflies seemed to take flight in her chest.
“I think you want to though,” Obi-Wan practically purred from the bow of the little red canoe, leaning forward with his hands on the gunnels, “You have been awfully nice to me this year.”
He wasn’t wrong, but Satine wasn’t about to admit that.
Something had changed between them over the past few summers and it was becoming difficult to deny. Things she’d once found grating were now details she knew she’d miss when they went home, quirks and moments she was certain would find their way into math class daydreams and scribbled journal entries.
He wasn’t wrong, but there was no way she was going to admit it.
“You’re delusional,” she scoffed, her skin heating when his smile only grew wider.
She hated him.
He was the worst.
“Am I?” Obi-Wan asked, moving to stand, making Satine brace herself for a moment before grabbing her paddle with both hands, her knuckles beginning to pale as her grip tightened, “Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.”
Satine didn’t even register what she was doing before her paddle connected with his stupid face, his shocked recoil enough to toss him from the boat, landing in the lake with a garbled curse and a big splash.
There were a few distant ‘Oooo’s from boats across the lake, and for a moment Satine found herself feeling embarrassed for her outburst, but before she was able to truly feel bad for the boy she’d dumped in the lake, Satine found herself equally as submerged, the canoe completely overturned.
“Oh you little—” she growled as she swallowed a breath of air, the sound of distant laughter echoing across the water, then suddenly she felt herself pulled under again, the bright sky disappearing as she resurfaced in darkness, shielded in the cave of an overturned canoe, a pocket of air shared by only two people.
“I’m so sorry,” Obi-Wan said immediately, his words breathless and rushed, “I don’t know why I said that it was insensitive and disrespectful and—”
His words seemed to trail off as she found herself staring at his mouth, droplets of glistening lake water clinging to his plush lips as he continued to apologize for his brazenness, his actions, their current soaking predicament but the words seemed to get lost somewhere between his mouth and her ears, his voice muffled and melodic in her mind. He was rambling, which, to her surprise, Satine found quite endearing as opposed to the annoyance she so often felt when his words seemed to pile up like this, spilling from him like he couldn’t stop if he wanted to.
Satine wanted him to stop talking.
Not like she usually did. Not because he was explaining something she already understood or babbling about something she was certain he found interesting but she couldn’t care less about.
No, she wanted his mouth to stop moving so she could kiss the lips he kept chewing on and once the thought had entered her mind she realized she could simply shut him up herself.
“— but I really respect you and I understand if you don’t want to be friends with me any—”
The talking stopped the moment her lips brushed his, a small gasp escaping him before the canoe-created cave around them fell silent and Satine wondered how long they could stay there like this because now that she knew how soft his mouth was, she thought she might like to float here with him a bit longer.
Satine had never kissed anyone before and judging by the look of pure shock on his face when she pulled back to look at him — eyes wide, cheeks a bright and adorable shade of red, lips pink and parted — neither had he.
“You—,” he stammered, his gaze focused on her mouth instead of her eyes, “I—“
“Come on, help me flip this thing back over.”
Summer After 8th Grade
Summer was finally here.
Long days, warm nights, roasted marshmallows, and Camp Kalevala was all Satine needed to put a wide smile on her face.
Oh, and Obi-Wan.
He made her smile too.
She’d tried not to think too much about him and the kiss she’d stolen from his lips in the months since they’d last seen each other but the moment those bright blue eyes caught hers at morning flagpole as one of the younger cabins sang a song about bubblegum, Satine felt her mouth go dry.
The smile on his lips was charming and shy as he blushed a sweet shade of pink, his gaze dropping to his feet for a few bashful moments before their eyes locked again, his bottom lip pressed between his teeth. His hair was a bit longer than it had been last year and she found herself excited to see what he would look like at the end of the summer when those dark auburn strands lightened in the summer sun to a sweet strawberry blonde and the freckles on his nose filled in.
Satine was so happy summer was finally here.
*
“I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Obi-Wan replied quickly as Satine began to help him pick up cones and balls from their makeshift obstacle course. He’d gotten in a bit of a disagreement with the athletics director over how to properly and safely execute a standing backflip which had earned him the glorious task of cleaning everything up, hanging behind as the rest of their cabin mates moved onto their next activity.
“It’s fine,” Satine smiled, tossing him a soccer ball and a baseball before setting about stacking cones, “I’m not in a particular rush to get to arts and crafts.”
“Too many friendship bracelets already?” Obi-Wan asked with a raised eyebrow, collecting the rest of the equipment in a large netted bag before heading for the athletics shed, Satine falling into easy step beside him, his heart fluttering when she let out a quiet laugh.
“Something like that.”
They’d hardly interacted since they got here, one of them always finding an excuse to run away and now in the middle of a wide-open field, it felt like there was nowhere to go. Not that he wanted to run away from her, quite the opposite in fact but the way her simple presence made his blood heat— every nerve in his body was on high alert.
He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her and the kiss she’d placed on his lips last summer.
She was even more beautiful than he’d remembered.
It made his head fuzzy.
It wasn’t until they were both standing there in that tiny shed full of equipment, the weight of the heavy door closing behind him that he realized they were alone for the first time since she’d stolen his breath directly from his lungs under an overturned canoe and suddenly all he wanted was to try that again.
Satine’s weren’t the only lips he’d kissed, not anymore, though he certainly wouldn’t call himself experienced. It was one frantic and fumbling make-out session with a girl in his English class, and while it had certainly been fun, he’d found himself feeling a bit guilty in the aftermath, knowing that there was a pair of lips he would have much rather been kissing — soft and pink and parted ever so slightly when Satine turned to face him, the two of them standing so close in the tiny space he wondered if she could hear his heartbeat.
“Hi,” Obi-Wan said dumbly, his voice barely a whisper, frantically searching for his courage through the haze of excitement.
“Hi,” Satine echoed with a sideways smile, looking at him with something like hope and anticipation.
“I, um—,” he stammered, letting out a nervous laugh, swaying closer to her without a thought, “I know last summer was— well, a whole year ago and I realize you might not still—,” this is going horribly, “what I mean to say is—” What? What do you mean to say?? “Can I— would you—”
Obi-Wan plaused, letting his eyes fall closed for the briefest of moments, taking a deep breath as he tried to collect the words.
“I would very much like to kiss you, Satine, if that would be alright with you.”
The corner of Satine’s mouth ticked up in a smile as she nodded.
“I think I’d like that.”
Holy shit.
This is happening.
This is actually happening.
Don’t fuck this up.
A smile spread across Obi-Wan’s face, desperate to ignore the way his whole body seemed to vibrate with excitement and promise as he stepped closer until he was only inches away, one hand resting gently on her hip, the silky texture of her gym shorts cool beneath his blazing touch.
Obi-Wan wasn’t certain he was breathing — he wasn’t certain she was breathing either as he lifted his hand to cup her jaw, his fingers tickling the short hairs on the back of her neck that always fell out of her ponytail, his thumb skimming the soft flushed skin on her cheek. For a long moment, he just looked at her. He knew without a doubt that he would remember this for the rest of his life, he wanted every detail to stick — the way the soft light from the overcast day leaked in through the small dirty window to illuminate the pout of her lips. The way her breath seemed to stutter when their noses touched. The way she smelled of fresh-cut grass, clean sweat, and flowers he was determined to know the name of.
It was impossible to know who closed the final distance between them, pulled together like the tides to the moon and Obi-Wan was sure the air had vanished from the small shed but he could live on only her exhales for the rest of his life. Her hands were twisted in his shirt and he felt her body melt against his, pressed together chest to chest as he parted his lips and deepened the kiss, sucking on her lower lip, his knees feeling weak beneath him when she let out a soft moan.
Everything felt fuzzy and slow, the air around them thick and syrupy as he pulled back to look at her, his heart so loud in his ears he almost missed the way she whimpered at the loss of his lips on hers.
Satine looked dazed, her eyes glossy just like her lips.
“Are you alright?” Obi-Wan asked, trying not to sound too cocky, but feeling quite proud of the look he’d left on her face.
“Shut up,” Satine replied, “and do that again.”
Summer After 9th Grade
The cabinet she sat on was less than sturdy and a baseball bat was digging into her back where it hung on the wall behind her but Satine did not care. Not when Obi-Wan was standing between her legs, licking into her mouth, nipping at her lips, holding her close like his life depended on it.
He’d gotten very good at this in the year since they’d seen each other and she hadn’t stopped teasing him after he’d accidentally admitted he’d been ‘practicing for her’ — she reasoned the light-hearted ridicule was prudent revenge since he refused to tell her how many girls he’d been practicing with.
Satine didn’t care.
Not when he was humming into her mouth and pressing his fingertips into her skin.
Being a CIT definitely had its advantages, a bit more freedom, a bit easier to slip away, and though they’d only been back for a little over a week, they’d found themselves in this shed almost every day. They could hardly keep their hands off each other, and those hands were beginning to wander.
“Can I—” Obi-Wan breathed against her lips, his thumb stroking the bare skin on her midriff, gently sneaking beneath the hem of her shirt.
“You don’t have to ask to touch my boobs every time, Obi,” Satine grinned as she felt his touch venture further up her shirt.
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he said quickly, pulling back to look into her eyes, “I don’t want you to ever think any of this is expected of you.”
She knew why he was being so cautious, and she couldn’t exactly blame him. Obi-Wan’s dad — well, his foster dad but they didn’t talk about that much — was a sex-ed teacher and had been subjecting his ward to The Talk every year since he was ten years old. It certainly made him more courteous and more attentive than anyone else she’d ever fooled around with, and she really liked how well he listened when she said something did or did not feel good, but sometimes the questions — Can I put my hand on your breast? Can I feel under your bikini top? Can I see them? Can I use my mouth? — got to be a little too much.
“You’ve never made me feel uncomfortable,” Satine laughed, leaning back to pull her own shirt over her head before untying her bathing suit top and dropping it to the floor, “I’m doing this because I want to.” She loved the goofy look he got on his face whenever he got to see her like this — eyes wide, chewing on his lip, scared and excited at the same time.
“And what do you want right now?” Obi-Wan asked, stepping back between her legs and pressing a kiss to her lips, his hands resting on her parted thighs, “how do I make you feel good?”
“Right now I want you to touch me.”
*
“Don’t fucking touch me!” Satine screeched, giggling as she ran away from a very muddy Obi-Wan.
It had been raining for days and eventually, summer camp kids became impossible to contain. The athletic field was a giant mud pit but that didn’t stop them from setting up games like kickball and dodgeball, getting out all their pent-up energy.
When the rain had stopped that afternoon, more campers came out of their cabins, some just watching the raucous impromptu mud Olympics while others joined in the messy fun.
Halfway through a particularly contentious game of mud volleyball, Obi-Wan noticed Satine’s face among the spectators, suddenly feeling a bit nervous, watching her bite her lip in a way that drove him nuts any time their eyes connected.
As the game went on, the score a tight back and forth, the crowd became more animated and he felt his heart begin to pound when he noticed her cheering.
No.
Not just cheering.
Cheering for him.
He felt like his skin was on fire beneath the cold mud and there was not a force in the galaxy that could have stopped him from winning that game.
“Come on!” he called after a shrieking Satine when the game ended, his arms spread wide in invitation, “I just want a victory hug!”
“Stay back Kenobi! I will kill you!”
She wouldn’t.
In fact, if there was no one else around she would be kissing him.
He wished she was kissing him anyway.
He wished he could kiss her anytime he wanted to.
He wished she went to his school.
He wished she lived in the same state.
He wished they hadn’t agreed to keep this a secret.
He wished a lot of things.
But he would settle for a victory hug.
Because any time he got with her was worth it.
“I hope you can run in those flip-flops Kryze, because I am getting my hug!”
Summer After 10th Grade
Obi-Wan was practically vibrating with excitement, not only was he heading back to camp, he was driving there by himself, a week earlier than every other year, because he was no longer just a camper, he was a counselor — well, he was a junior counselor but Obi-Wan was still excited for the extra responsibility.
He was also excited to see his friends.
One friend in particular.
It didn’t take them long to find each other, Satine running into his arms with a loud squeal.
“I’ve missed you,” he admitted with a long sigh, Squeezing her a little tighter before pulling back to look at her, grinning at the blush on her cheeks.
“I missed you, too,” she agreed with a nervous laugh, taking another step back and glancing around awkwardly.
He’d sort of thought they were past this part, but he supposed it might always be strange seeing a friend after so long away. So much changed in a year, they would have so many stories to tell, so many jokes to learn, so much to make up for.
“Let’s catch up,” Obi-Wan said excitedly, before sheepishly adding, “we could— uh— sneak away for a bit?”
Suddenly, Satine’s expression changed, her bright smile extinguished as her lips pulled in a straight line, her brow nervous and her eyes almost sad.
“I can’t,” she whispered, shaking her head and looking away, unable to hold his eye.
“What do you mean?” Obi-Wan asked, suddenly feeling extremely underprepared, “Orientation isn’t for a few hours.”
“It’s not that,” Satine said quickly, her eyes glancing to his and away several fleeting times, “I’m— I’ve met someone.” Obi-Wan felt his head tilt to one side as he played the words over in his head, but Satine apparently didn’t feel like waiting for him to come to the conclusion on his own, instead adding, in a tone that may have been a little too blunt, “I have a boyfriend, Obi-Wan.”
“Oh.”
It came out more as a punched-out sound than a real word.
She has a boyfriend.
Of course, she does.
How had that possibility never even occurred to him?
“Yeah,” she said after a few moments, her voice sounding a bit like regret — though Obi-Wan knew that was likely just his hopeful heart hearing things that weren’t there.
Satine had a boyfriend.
But that was okay.
“Well, then perhaps we go somewhere other than the A-shed if we’re not going to make out, but I’d still like to catch up.”
That was a stupid thing to say but Obi-Wan had no idea what a not stupid thing would be right now.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Do what? Be your friend?”
Satine winced.
Obi-Wan found it hard to feel bad about that.
“Satine, most of our time here has been spent as friends,” he said softly, tucking his finger under her chin to encourage her eyes back to his, watching as she let out a small gasp, trying not to think about how badly he wanted to kiss her despite her stupid boyfriend, but that would have really undermined his point, “I don’t have to have my tongue in your mouth to be your friend. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoyed that part of— whatever this is but, I missed you Satine, not the things we got up to in that shed.”
He meant it, every word of it even as his heart was breaking a bit. Not because that part of their friendship was over but because there was someone else out there walking around with her kiss on his lips and her heart in his pocket.
Obi-Wan wanted that.
But he couldn’t say that part out loud.
“Okay,” Satine said after a few quiet beats, nodding and reaching out to grab his hand, “let's catch up.”
*
Being a counselor — junior counselor — in between sessions was way different than it had been as a camper. Most kids only stayed for a single session, waving goodbye after just two weeks, but Satine and Obi-Wan had always been among the handful of kids who stayed all summer long. It was in the in-between days — when the session two friends had left but the session three friends had yet to arrive — that they had really become friends, taking comfort in the familiar, reliable company of one another.
With only a few campers holding over from session to session, most counselors — and junior counselors — weren’t needed, giving them a bit of time to unwind.
On this particular evening, apparently, that meant playing a rousing game of spin-the-bottle.
Rather for Satine, it meant watching a rousing game of spin-the-bottle.
She wasn’t the only one sitting out, of course, a few others in the group had someone special back home but sitting out wasn’t really the part that was bothering Satine. It was that this evening seemed to be morphing from a game of spin-the-bottle, to a game that looked a lot more like everyone-gets-to-make-out-with-Obi-Wan. It felt like every other spin was landing on him and she found herself wondering how someone might rig this game with magnets or fishing line.
First was Breha, relatively chaste all things considered but the way her cheeks pinked when he pulled her in for another quick kiss, a crooked knuckle under her chin, made Satine want to scream.
Depa had looked so nervous, melting against him when he ran his fingers through her hair, parting her lips and allowing his tongue to dip into her mouth, humming to herself when he pulled away, licking her lips like she needed to taste him again.
It wasn’t just the girls either, Cody had flushed bright red at the smallest press of his lips, where Pre needed to be held down for a peck on the cheek. Bail, however, seemed very confident, telling Obi-Wan to ‘do your worst,’ only to have that ginger menace call his bluff, pulling Bail into a kiss far more passionate than he’d been anticipating, leaving the usually composed teen looking dazed and bleary-eyed.
Nothing was worse than Mon. She’d had a crush on Obi-Wan for years and Satine had always felt terrible anytime she pretended like her friend had a chance with him, but now — watching her practically crawl into his lap in front of all their friends, burying her fingers in his silky red hair, nipping at his lips — Satine realized she probably did. Then he was kissing her back, deep and dominating, his hands on her waist, his soft delicious tongue in her mouth and Satine thought she might be sick.
When later that night she’d lost her mind entirely and pulled him into a supply closet, she’d expected him to push her away, to tell her ‘no,’ to do the hard thing for her. Instead, he’d slammed her back against the closed door and took what he’d clearly been wanting since camp started over a month ago.
“I could see you trying not to watch,” he murmured against her lips, one hand in her hair, the other on her ass, “you looked furious with me.”
She had been.
She still was.
“You’re so fucking hot when you’re angry.”
Summer After 11th Grade
“The summer is almost over and you still haven’t made me a friendship bracelet!” Obi-Wan exclaimed, throwing his decidedly unadorned wrists in the air, “How am I supposed to know we’re friends, if you don’t make me my annual friendship br—”
“Okay! I get it! I’ll make you your stupid bracelet!”
Satine was smiling and Obi-Wan’s heart did a little backflip.
“Thank you!” He laughed, “Now was that so hard?”
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
With an eye roll and a silly wink, Satine turned on her heels to catch up with the rest of her cabin headed for the arts and crafts barn.
She was the fastest walker he’d ever met.
She was a lot of things.
A heavy hand on his shoulder startled Obi-Wan from his gentle musings.
“So, what’s she like?”
“Pardon?” Obi-Wan asked, turning to find Pre standing by his side, noticing a few other counselors — Rex and Bail — walking over to join them, looking back and forth between them warily like they knew something Obi-Wan didn’t.
“The perfect princess of Camp Kalevala,” Pre grinned, repeating, “what’s she like?”
“You’ve known Satine for years, Pre, I don’t know what you mean.”
Obi-Wan knew exactly what he meant, this wouldn’t be the first time someone confronted him about his friendship with Satine. It wasn’t exactly a secret, though it was easier to deny it than explain — especially when even he wasn’t really sure what their relationship was.
“Rex here thinks she’s a screamer,” Pre said with a wicked smile, Rex’s face flushing with embarrassment, regret, and something like horror, “for my money, I’d guess she just lies there like a dead fish.”
“Stop talking,” Obi-Wan said quietly, trying to swallow the wild fury filling his mouth, his teeth bared and hands tightened in fists.
“Come on, Kenobi,” Pre pushed, stepping into Obi-Wan’s space, shrugging off Bail’s staying hand when he tried to reach out, “we all know you’re fucking her.”
He wasn’t, technically, but that was beside the point.
“Stop talking,” Obi-Wan repeated, “I won’t say it again.”
“Or what? You’ll go crying to your little slut?”
Pre was a big guy. Much bigger than Obi-Wan. Taller, broader, probably had at least 20 pounds on him.
But Obi-Wan could throw a punch.
There was a chorus of ‘Ooooo’s from all around them when Obi-Wan’s fist connected with Pre’s stupid fucking face but all he could hear was the pounding of his heart as Pre stumbled backward, holding his nose, blood pouring out from between his fingers.
“Oh, you’re dead.”
Luckily, Obi-Wan could also take a punch.
Pre tackled him to the ground, managing to get in a few decent swings — though Obi-Wan was reasonably certain he’d never been in a real fight before and was probably hurting his own hand more than he was Obi-Wan’s face — before Bail and Rex managed to pull him off.
“Don’t ever let me hear you talking like that again,” Obi-Wan practically growled, getting quickly to his feet and taking a few rage-fueled steps forward, “noses break even easier the second time.”
“What the fuck, Kenobi?” Bail asked when he’d managed to pull Obi-Wan into the empty dining hall, “I know he was being a dick but—“
“He called her a slut, Bail,” Obi-Wan hissed, “he deserved worse than he got.”
“Oh, shit,” Bail breathed in realization, his scrutinizing expression going soft, “you really like her don’t you?”
Obi-Wan felt the wild anger slip from his body, his face heating for an entirely different reason.
“What?” He scoffed, taking a step back and shaking his head, “I don’t—“
“Yeah. You do.”
*
“You’re telling me you punched Pre in the face because he called me a slut?”
“Essentially, yes.”
“Obi, do you have any idea how many times I’ve been called that? And worse.”
“That’s not the point.”
“I know it’s not.”
Satine lifted a hand to inspect the bruise on his cheek in the low light of the shed, frowning when he winced.
A few summers back they’d gotten into a huge argument about the deplorable idea that violence could ever be the correct way to solve a problem when he’d admitted to getting suspended from school for fighting. A classmate had hidden a camera in the girl's locker room and was showing the images around the school. When he’d offered to show Obi-Wan, he’d wound up with a shattered camera and a broken arm.
“I know you don’t need me to fight for you,” Obi-Wan sighed, shaking his head, “I know I didn’t need to hit him, I just— I would do it again.” He shrugged his shoulders as if in apology though it was clear that not a single part of him felt sorry for what he’d done. “I know it’s not right, but if he ever disrespects you like that again I will break more than his nose.”
It was savage and brutish and uncivilized and passionate and the intense look in his eye made her cheeks flush and she found herself staring at his mouth and before she realized what she was doing Satine was tasting the split in his lip and his fingers were in her hair and her hands were unbuttoning his jeans, desperate to make him moan and before long she had him falling apart in her hand and they were both panting, breathing the same sticky air, flushed and frantic.
“I don’t like it when you fight.”
“Clearly.”
Summer After 12th Grade
“I brought condoms.”
She hadn’t meant to just blurt it out — though, admittedly, she hadn’t really had a plan for how to bring it up, and now that she had him laid out beneath her, both of them down to their underwear, she couldn’t think about anything else.
They’d managed to get the same night off and weave a believable enough story for where they’d each be going to cover for their actual plan: meeting up at the same campsite where Obi-Wan had started a fire and set out a picnic.
This would be the first night they’d ever spend together.
She’d been thinking about it for years.
“Satine,” he whispered, his hand on her jaw pulling her back far enough for him to look into her eyes, “we don’t have to—”
“I want to.”
“I’ve never—”
“Neither have I.”
“Are you sure?”
It was only ever going to be him.
She’d known that for a long time.
It wasn’t about love — though there were times it was difficult to deny the way he made her heart flutter — this was about trust.
There was no one she trusted more than Obi-Wan.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Okay. Yes.”
The next moments were exciting and awkward and Satine realized they’d never actually seen each other completely naked and he was gorgeous in the moonlight and she found herself clambering back up his body, straddling his hips.
“There’s no rush,” Obi-Wan whispered against her lips when she reached behind to wrap her hand around his protected length, smiling when he let out a shaking breath, “Satine, slow down.”
She didn’t want to slow down, she’d been thinking about this for so long, and she knew if she could just get past this first part—
A strangled painful noise fell from her lips when she felt the tip of his desire press eagerly inside, stretching her open, her muscles tensing, brow wrinkling, eyes fluttering closed.
“You’re going to hurt yourself,” Obi-Wan whispered, his fingers digging into her hips as she tried to rock back farther, her grip on his shoulders tightening as she tried to remember how to breathe.
“I can handle it.”
“You’re shaking.”
“I’m fine.”
“Satine, stop.”
Suddenly tears were pouring down her face, the excitement, the pain, the embarrassment all completely overwhelming.
“It’s okay,” Obi-Wan whispered, gently pulling her forward and rolling her onto her back, combing his fingers through her hair. For a while he just let her cry, kissing the salty tears from her cheeks as he assured her again and again that she’d done nothing wrong.
“I knew it was supposed to hurt but—”
“Satine,” Obi-Wan said lightly, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips, “This is never supposed to hurt.”
“But everyone says—”
“Everyone is wrong,” he insisted, dragging his lips down her neck, nuzzling into her shoulder, nipping gently at her collarbone, “it just takes a little patience. Really, I should have known better than to let you control the pace.”
“Hey!” Satine protested, the single word turning to a moan when she felt his fingers trail between her legs.
“Do you want to stop?” Obi-Wan asked seriously, pulling back to look at her.
He looked so beautiful, his eyes sparkling with honesty and something Satine thought looked a bit like love, his touch gentle and kiss sweet.
“No.”
“Will you let me be patient for you?”
“I trust you,” she whispered, nodding into the kiss he placed on her lips, “I really want to try again.”
Humming against her lips, he kissed her deeply, his fingers teasing between her legs, nipping her lip as he dipped a single finger just barely inside. He dragged his tongue along her lip, scraped his teeth up her jaw, licking that sensitive spot behind her ear as he whispered, “good,” pressing his finger back in, a little further this time, just enough to make her whimper, “because I need to know what you feel like, Satine. I’ve been dreaming about this for years, I just know you’ll feel perfect.” Obi-Wan pressed the hard evidence of his desire against her thigh, a reminder of how badly he wanted this too, “so warm and soft, nothing could possibly feel better than you. All you have to do is relax and enjoy yourself, I’ll take care of you, would you like that?”
“Yes.”
It was barely a word but she felt herself begin to melt as he slowly slid his finger in and out, showering her with soft kisses and words that were making her head spin. Time moved like honey and before long Obi-Wan had Satine feeling more relaxed than she thought she ever had and by the time he was crooking two fingers against something inside her that made her moan like she was in some terrible late-night premium cable porno, she found herself begging for more.
“How do you feel?” Obi-Wan mumbled into her neck, his thumb brushing over that perfect bundle of nerves right in the center of her, making her shiver in anticipation.
“Impatient,” Satine whimpered, smiling when he let out a little laugh against her skin.
“Alright,” he chuckled, swallowing the whine that fell from her lips when his fingers pulled away, shifting back and rummaging through her bag to replace the condom she hadn’t realized he’d taken off.
Sitting back on his heels, Satine felt her mouth go dry, watching him stroke himself a few times, looking at her like he wanted to etch the moment into his memory. Then he was smiling and crawling up her body and kissing her so hard she couldn’t breathe.
“We’re going to take this slow, okay?” Obi-Wan whispered against her lips, his thumb skimming over her cheek, “I won’t hurt you.”
“I know,” she breathed, kissing him softly, wrapping her legs around his waist, and pulling him closer, “but can you hurry a little bit?”
Obi-Wan smiled and for a moment Satine was willing to admit that maybe this was love.
Then she felt something much bigger than his fingers trail through the wetness between her legs, dragging through her folds several teasing times, purring, “you’re so wet, you already feel so good, I’m not even inside you yet.” Satine’s entire body tingled, suddenly needing that more than she had ever needed anything, gasping in flushed excitement when he pressed the tip of his hard length insistently to her entrance, “Are you ready?”
“Please!”
Then he was sinking inside, slow and controlled, his lips parted against hers, breathing the same air, both of them moaning as her body stretched to fit him inside. It wasn’t exactly comfortable at first, but the pain she’d felt before was replaced with a wild pressure and delicious pleasure as he rolled his hips, working himself deeper inside, stopping to check in more than he really needed to until his hips were flush with hers and she was begging him to move.
It took a moment to find a rhythm, starting slow and cautious before building to a delicious steady pace, and soon they were rocking together and Satine couldn’t stop the moans that spilled out of her mouth as he filled her with heat and pleasure again and again.
“You feel so good,” Satine managed, her fingers tightening in his hair as the hand on his hip encouraged him a little faster, a little harder, “Obi— Obi-Wan, you feel so—”
“So do you,” he breathed, his voice gone wild and rough, “I always knew you would.” He snapped his hips a bit harder and Satine was suddenly worried her moans might travel down the hill, up the river, and across the lake to camp if they got any louder but with another hard thrust her mind went blissfully blank, her head rolling back as she listened to him mutter delirious words against her skin, “I always wanted it to be you, Satine, I’m so happy I’m here with you.”
There were a million things she would remember about that night.
The way he’d looked, hair a mess, lips swollen, so much older than the boy she’d kissed under a canoe all those years ago.
The way he’d been so gentle and patient until they were tearing at each other and he was rocking so impossibly deep inside her, his name thick and sweet on her lips.
The way he’d made certain she felt just as good as he did when he’d finished before her.
But the words he’d mumbled into the crook of her neck would be the thing that took root in her heart. The simple confession she’d carry with her forever.
“I’m so happy I’m here with you.”
*
The sun had just barely risen above the horizon line when the gentle song of birds stirred Obi-Wan from sleep.
They’d been up most of the night, working their way through half the box of condoms Satine had brought — when she’d joked they might run out he admitted that he’d brought some too. Just in case.
It had been perfect, despite the rocky start, and while he’d drifted off to sleep trying to decide which part was his favorite the answer was almost painfully obvious in the golden glow of the morning.
This was his favorite part.
Waking up with Satine in his arms, warm and soft and still completely naked inside the sleeping bags they'd managed to zip together, her back to his chest, his nose in her hair, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo.
He wanted time to stop so they could just stay like this as long as the universe would allow. He’d wanted this for so long it almost didn’t seem real, but here they were, tangled together like lovers and he felt himself pulling her impossibly closer.
Satine stirred as his arms tightened around her, making a sweet sleepy humming sound, wiggling a bit in his hold before she rolled her hips back against his very obvious case of morning wood and they both went still.
“Good morning,” Obi-Wan chuckled, pressing his hips forward when he felt her rock back again.
“It’s about to be.”
Summer After Freshman Year
“Is it true you can pop your cherry riding a horse?”
“What’s your favorite position?”
“How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm?”
In hindsight, Satine probably should have realized the floodgates of awkward teenage horror that would open if she agreed to talk to a bunch of 16-year-old girls about sex.
In her mind, telling the group of young CITs that they could come to her with questions meant, like, later.
Individually.
If there was a problem.
She hadn’t meant an all-out interrogation in the middle of the woods on an overnight at the hands of horrible horny teenagers.
She really should have known better.
“Is length or girth more important?”
“How do you know you’re doing it right?”
“What does it actually feel like?”
“Well, that depends—”
“She means some guys are better in bed than others.”
“I didn’t say—”
“Oh! How many people have you slept with?”
“Is it messy?
“How do you know when you’re ready?”
“That— that one’s hard.”
Satine rolled her eyes when the girls began to giggle, “difficult,” she corrected, shifting around a bit to get comfortable, glad the barrage of questions seemed to have stopped for the moment.
“I believe ‘ready’ means different things for everyone, but I do think there’s one thing that might help answer your question,” she started in a soft voice, thinking back to just the summer before when everything had finally aligned. She was certain that if they’d been able to sneak away for a night at sixteen she probably would have slept with him then too, but she wasn’t about to tell them that. “I think it’s important to understand why you want to have sex. Is it because one of your friends did? Is it because some idiot said you can’t go to college a virgin? Is it—”
“Because you’re in love and you’ve been together three years?”
Satine hummed thoughtfully, nodding her head.
“Do you trust him?”
“Wha— Of course, I— What do you mean?”
“I mean, do you trust him to slow down if it hurts?” Satine asked, quickly adding, “which it shouldn’t, by the way.” A few of the girls looked around at each other like she’d just said something crazy and Satine could feel the frown on her lips. “Do you trust him not to tell his friends, unless you say it’s okay? Do you trust him not to argue about wearing a condom?”
The girl who had asked the question seemed to sway a little nervously at that.
“That’s non-negotiable,” Satine said firmly, “You need to have that conversation ahead of time, and I do not care if you are on birth control, you are sixteen, you are using a condom. If you need one, just ask, I will give it to you.”
“Wait, you brought condoms to camp!?”
“Who are you sleeping with?”
“I bet I know who it is!”
Apparently, it’s true what they say.
No good deed.
*
“What did I do to— to deser— ah— to deserve this?”
He’d pissed her off is what he’d done.
And in just the right way, apparently.
Satine pulled back with a dangerous look in her eye, snarling through swollen lips, “You drive me crazy,” her voice thick and rough, her gaze still holding his as she swallowed him back down.
They’d gotten into a shoot-out at the archery range in front of their cabins, the ordeal going round after round after round. It took her longer than he’d expected to realize what he was doing, following her arrow every time — blue for blue, red for red, yellow for yellow — keeping the score tied until Satine caught on and insisted he go first.
After that, he’d only aimed for the bullseye.
It was over in two rounds.
When she’d insisted they stay behind to ’clean up’ he hadn’t been sure what to expect — a lecture, a disappointed glare, an extremely non-violent punch to the chest — It certainly hadn’t been Satine’s perfect pink lips humming around his cock while he struggled to keep himself upright.
“Fuck, you’ve gotten good at this,” he groaned, his eyes falling closed for a moment, his brain far away and fuzzy but his mouth was more than willing to do all the thinking for him, “I mean, you’ve al—always been— dear god that feels so— so so good.”
It felt like she was on a mission, sliding her lips as far down as she could go, hollowing her cheeks, swallowing around him.
“You’re so pretty like this,” Obi-Wan babbled, no blood left in his head to make the good decisions, “I wish you could— oh fuck— I wish you could see how incredible you look.” Satine moaned around him and Obi-Wan realized this wasn’t going to last much longer, “so beautiful.”
A few more moments and a hurried warning later, Obi-Wan was spilling hot and needy down her throat, his whole body tingling, looking for anything to steady himself, trying not to grip too hard in her hair.
It took a minute to come down from what had to be the best blowjob of his life, his vision blurry and mind far far away.
“Hm, would you look at that?” Satine purred as she got to her feet, flashing him a wicked smile.
As she wiped her chin with the back of her hand he suddenly became extremely aware that she was holding something.
A stopwatch.
“Four minutes and forty-eight seconds.”
She looked so fucking proud of herself.
“Think you can beat that?”
“Oh, you’re on.”
Summer After Sophomore Year
“I’ve missed you,” Obi-Wan mumbled into her hair, squeezing her a little tighter.
“I missed you, too,” Satine echoed, pulling back to look at him.
His hair was longer than she’d ever seen it and a short neat ginger beard covered his jaw, he looked so much older than she remembered.
“I’m not sure how I feel about this,” she said, with a soft smile, scratching the hair on his cheek, her heart fluttering a bit when he blushed.
“I don’t think that's the only thing you’re not going to like.”
He sounded nervous all of a sudden and Satine felt herself take a step back, studying his face.
“Now I understand why you were so anxious,” he continued with an uneasy laugh, “I’m just going to say it,” in the single breath he took the tension between them grew so thick, Satine thought perhaps she could touch it with her bare hands, “I’m seeing someone.”
For a few seconds, Satine forgot to breathe.
“When did this happen?” It wasn’t the right response, but she couldn’t very well just stand there speechless and the words just fell out of her mouth.
“Not long,” he admitted, a guilty expression on his face, “three weeks?”
“Three weeks?” The reaction was almost automatic.
Three weeks!?
Like he didn’t know he’d be seeing her.
Like he’d completely forgotten the girl who was waiting for him just on the other side of summer break.
Like he didn’t care at all.
“Does she have bigger tits or something?”
“What? Satine, that’s not—”
“Does she let you put it in her ass? Is that it?”
Obi-Wan let out an incredulous laugh at that and Satine felt nothing but cold wounded rage. Bitter jealousy on her tongue.
“What is it, then? Clearly, you looked at her and looked at me and made a choice so what does she have that I don't?”
“Well, for starters, he has a cock, so—”
Suddenly, Satine felt like she'd been turned to stone.
Wait.
“Are you saying your—”
“I didn’t suddenly turn gay, Satine,” he spat, looking like he was getting more and more frustrated by the second, “no need to worry how this reflects on you.”
“You—,” she tried, struggling to understand what he’d just said, his scrutinizing disappointed stare making it harder to find the words, “you never told me—”
“No, no I didn’t tell you, but I’d never told anyone until a few months ago, so perhaps you’d be willing to cut me a bit of slack.”
She felt like she was freezing even in the blazing sunshine and her mind was flying a million miles per minute.
“Look, I get it, it’s a lot to take in, but you’re the only one here who knows and—,” Obi-Wan paused for a moment, clearing his throat, unable to meet her eye, “and I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone else until I figure out how I want to do this.” He said it quickly, his voice beginning to crack, his avoidant eyes glistening and Satine swallowed the boulder in her throat as she realized how badly she’d just fucked up, “now if you’ll excuse me.”
And then he was gone, and Satine thought she might be sick.
*
“Obi-Wan!” A familiar voice called from behind him, “Wait up!”
His feet came to a halt and he turned to find Satine walking quickly up the hill behind him.
She was the fastest walker he’d ever met.
She was a lot of things.
“I am so sorry for how I reacted yesterday,” she blurted out before she’d even come to a stop in front of him, “it wasn’t kind and it wasn’t fair and it’s not the way a friend should have responded to such wonderful news.”
She meant every word, he knew she did and he’d forgiven her before she’d even started to speak but it did feel nice to hear her say it out loud.
“I’m really happy for you, Obi,” Satine added with a sideways smile that made his heart flutter, “I’m sorry I let my jealousy get in the way like that.
“I forgive you,” he replied with a soft smile, reaching out to take her hand, “and if it makes you feel any better, he’s jealous of you, too.”
“Actually, yes, that does make me feel a bit better.”
They stood there for a few quiet moments, only the sound of the wind and their laughter in his ears, a familiar tingle in his fingertips, and for a moment he thought perhaps he should have ended things before coming back here.
“Oh! I have something for you!”
“Oh?” he asked with a smile, watching with amusement as she dug through her pockets.
“I wanted to give it to you early this year so you can wear it all summer,” Satine said softly as she pulled a familiar-looking object out of her pocket, “So you never forget that we’re friends.”
A friendship bracelet, like the ones she made him every year.
It was mostly blue, as they often were, several alternating shades in a braided v-pattern, but at the very end, right before the knot were a few rows of purple string followed by a few rows of pink.
It was subtle, something most people would never notice, but this wasn’t about everyone else, this was about Satine — his first kiss, his first time, his first love — looking at him with an open heart and telling him, I see you.
I see you and I am so proud of you.
“Do you like it?”
He couldn’t answer, his throat sore and eyes beginning to go a bit blurry, pulling her into a hug and burying his nose into her hair, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo.
It was impossible to explain her to anyone else — sometimes he wondered if denying the sex of it all only made things worse — most people didn’t even think she was real. How does a person even begin to describe something like what they had? He saw her less than three months a year. He’d never met any of her friends outside of camp. They’d sent the occasional ‘camp style’ letter during the year, but it was rare.
They existed in a space most people couldn’t see.
Couldn’t know.
Couldn’t feel.
The thing that existed between them — tangled and twisted and tarnished by every season that wasn’t summer — braided and bonded in the undefinable days that were.
There was only one word, really.
Only one word that could describe what he was feeling right now.
“I love you, Satine,” Obi-Wan breathed, holding her tighter, his throat sore and voice broken as tears began to stream down his face.
They’d never said it out loud before and maybe this was a strange time to tell her, but judging by the way her body relaxed in his arms, it just felt right.
“I love you too, Obi-Wan.”
Summer After Junior Year
The light in the old athletic shed was dim and dusty and Obi-Wan’s tongue was soft in her mouth, his fingers tangled in her hair, his teeth scraping her lip. She’d pulled him in here, desperate to steal every kiss she could before—
“Satine,” he breathed against her lips, quiet and just as hesitant as she felt.
“I know.”
“I don’t want to either.”
It was the last day of camp.
But this last day wasn’t like the others.
This last day didn’t come with an ‘until summer,’ or a ‘see you next year.’
Because there wouldn’t be a next year.
Not for them, at least.
Next summer Satine would be prepping for law school instead of teaching campers how to rock climb.
Next summer Obi-Wan would be working some fancy post-business school job instead of directing the camp musical.
Next summer…
Satine was trying really hard not to think about next summer.
“You’ll meet me on the hill? After everyone’s gone?”
Obi-Wan’s voice was hushed, his lips still showering hers with sweet kisses even as he was telling her they had to go.
“As long as you keep your promise.”
“No talking about tomorrow until tomorrow.”
It was a promise he would keep.
He always kept his promises.
When she’d entered the clearing where he’d set up camp — the same campsite they’d first spent the night together — he’d greeted her with a bright laugh and a bottle of wine he certainly knew nothing about, only smiles and stories and sweet kisses.
And sex.
There was a lot of sex.
“I hated you so much,” Satine moaned, rolling her hips where she straddled his, pulling a rough breath from his lips, trying to memorize the feeling of him deep inside her.
“You still hate me,” he growled, pressing his fingers into her ass and pulling her forward, snapping his hips up a few hard times as if to prove his own point, smiling wickedly when she couldn’t swallow her needy groan, “just a little bit.”
She did and she didn’t.
She always would and she never had.
She hated him.
Just a little bit.
She loved him more.
“I do hate the beard,” she quipped, running her fingers through the coarse hair, grinding her hips down until his eyes fluttered closed. He’d shown up to camp clean-shaven, the dimples in his cheeks and chin on full display, but as the summer days grew long, so did the stubble on his jaw, and her mounting vendetta against it. If she were being honest, the beard had grown on her over the weeks — she couldn’t deny how handsome he looked and she found she quite enjoyed the way the rough texture felt on her fingertips and between her legs — admitting to that fact, however, was not in Satine’s proudly impressive vocabulary.
“Oh, I know,” he grinned, his body rolling with the needy sway of her hips, his eyes wild and cheeks flushed, mouth open obscenely wide as he panted beneath her, “why do you think I let it grow out?”
Time moved faster than it ever had as they tried to hold on to the darkest hours of the night, talking and touching and laughing and fucking and doing their best to ignore the way the stars began to disappear as the sun made its way closer and closer to stealing away the only thing in her life that had ever felt truly right.
Satine was the one to break their promise.
“We’ll keep in touch, won’t we?” She asked in the thin hours of the morning, lying in Obi-Wan’s arms, dreading the moment the eastern horizon began to glow with the day he would leave her, without any promise of next summer.
“Of course, we will,” Obi-Wan assured her, the rough pad of his thumb brushing the soft flushed skin on her cheek, his eyes so sincere it hurt, “I’m sure it will take a bit of getting used to—” sometimes he was so practical it made her want to scream, “—but I can’t imagine—“
There was no way she was going to let him finish that sentence, kissing him hot and hard until he was making sweet strangled sounds and fumbling for another condom.
It was easier to do this than it was to actually say what they were feeling.
It was easier to reduce this thing between them to their undeniable physical chemistry than admit they had something special.
It was easier to blame the pain in her chest on the pleasure she knew she would be losing than to think about the conversations they would never have.
It was easier to think about him as only his fingers and his mouth and his cock than it was to see him for his curious mind and caring heart.
It was so much easier to fuck than it was to feel, because if she’d let herself actually see him for everything he was, she would have to admit that her heart was breaking. That her entire world was being torn apart because there was a very real chance she’d never see those shining blue eyes ever again and if she thought about that for even one single moment she knew she would come apart at the seams, open and raw for the world to see — as strong as she was, Satine was certain she would not survive the loss of the boy she’d kissed under that canoe all those years ago.
She loved him.
Sometimes she was certain it would kill her.
“Just promise you wont forget me.”
The words escaped her lips without permission as he filled her in a way she was certain she’d never feel with anyone else.
“I could never forget you, Satine,” Obi-Wan promised, rolling his hips and whispering against her mouth, “even if I wanted to.”
*
This was his favorite part.
Waking up with her warm body pressed so close to his chest it felt like they were trying to touch every inch of naked skin together, his nose buried in golden waves, the simple presence of Satine soft and sweet all around him.
For several long minutes, Obi-Wan simply luxuriated in the lingering morning as wakefulness slowly crept through his body. His limbs felt heavy and satisfied, his mind fogged with happiness and pleasure, his arms wrapped around a woman he would lose in a matter of hours.
His eyes squeezed shut harder, determined to block out the faint rays of morning that illuminated the inside of his eyelids.
All Obi-Wan wanted in this vast galaxy was to stay right here, asleep on the hard ground with the woman he’d loved since before he could put a word to the feeling, pressed so close to his body he wondered if they might fuse together, never to be broken apart.
But of course, his will alone — no matter how hard he fought, no matter how much he hoped — wouldn’t be enough to stop the sun from rising higher in the sky. It wouldn’t be enough to keep Satine from stirring in his hold, sweet sleepy sounds passing her kiss-bitten lips. It wouldn’t stop the dawn and his heart from breaking.
Summer was over.
Camp was over.
And Obi-Wan had lied.
There was no job lined up after school, there was no grand plan. He could easily come back here next year, maybe apply for a director position, he’d always loved working here and it’s not like he didn’t have other friends…
But Satine wouldn’t be there.
And as far as Obi-Wan was concerned, Satine Kryze was Camp Kalevala.
There would be nothing for him to come back to.
Summer was over.
Camp was over.
Satine was gone, his broken heart packed in her trunk alongside all their memories.
When he watched her drive away, the friendship bracelet around his wrist began to itch like poison ivy, and he knew he’d never be the same.
A shell of the person he’d been in the reflection of that glistening lake.
Summer was over.
And Obi-Wan didn’t know if it would ever return.