Chapter Text
The blinding lights of the lab shone painfully down on your red rimmed eyes. You gazed up at the doctor in front of you, having to blink away tears to bring his form into focus.
A gloved hand pushed a thermometer between your lips roughly. You sputtered and startled backwards, but the metal cuffs binding your hands and feet to the chair prevented you from getting away.
“Running a fever,” the doctor grunted after he removed the thermometer. His voice sounded like he was speaking underwater, and you struggled to keep your eyes on him. Was he talking to you?
No, there was another figure in the room. His face seemed familiar, haunting. Something in your gut screamed danger, and you whimpered.
When the doctor walked away, the other man strode over to you, lifting your chin with a cold hand. The second his figure snapped into focus, you whined high and distressed in the back of your throat and tried to squirm away. Of course he seemed familiar: the man who’d kept you locked in this fluorescent prison, the man who’d made it his mission in the week that you’d been there to alight every single one of your nerves with pain.
He tutted, patting your cheek as you cried. “I can make it stop. I just need you to tell me where he is.”
“I don’t know,” you slurred, low and defeated. You let your chin drop to your chest, eyes falling shut. “I told you, we haven’t spoken in years.”
A sharp crack rang out in the room as his hand whipped across your face. You gasped, neck screaming out in pain when your head snapped to the side.
The man chuckled at your pitiful reaction and shrugged. “I can’t help you if you refuse to tell me the truth.” His hand raised back to deliver another bruising hit, but paused when the radio on his hip crackled.
You couldn’t make out the words from the ringing in your ears, but it sounded urgent. Urgent enough to make the man stand straighter, eyes flicking over to you. He mumbled something back into the radio, then turned on his heel and left, the door slamming shut and locking behind him.
The solitude was bliss. In the silence, you could sift through your muddled thoughts, fantasize about your own bed like it was heaven on Earth. And when you’d spent the last month sleeping either on a metal chair or a cold floor, it might as well have been.
Your entire body sung out with pain. The bruises adorning your ribs and the lashes across your back stung the worst, flaring up with agony each time you took a breath. But it was at least bearable.
What you couldn’t seem to accept was that there was no way out. You were telling the truth; you really hadn’t seen Leon anytime recently. It’d been at least three years, maybe more. And there was zero chance in the world that whoever— whatever organization had you hostage would believe that. But even if they did, that just meant you were useless. Expendable. You’d die here regardless, and the thought of it shook you to your core.
They were correct in the fact that you and Leon had a detailed past. You’d been one of the sole survivors of the outbreak in Racoon City way back when. Holed up in the police station with a dying cop and no way out, you’d all but given up on surviving the night. But Leon had strolled through the front doors with wide eyed determination, and all but pulled you off of your ass.
You’d faced the horrors the city had to offer together, fought tooth and nail to make it out, together. He was your hero. And you were his light at the end of the tunnel.
At least, you used to think that.
For the next year after the event, you’d stayed in touch, even as he completed the brutal training for…the agency that recruited him. Truth be told, you didn’t know much about what he did. Even when your relationship evolved into intimacy, he kept you at arm’s length. Every question you asked about his job was met with “that’s classified,” or “I don’t want to talk about it.”
You knew that he was troubled, that he could barely get through the night without flashbacks to the horrors you’d both experienced. All you wanted to do was help him, even when the very same terrors danced behind your eyes every time you closed them.
——————————————
Leon startled awake with a gasp, chest heaving and brow soaked in sweat. You reached for him without hesitation while his hands grabbed for your arm, any part of you he could touch. “It’s okay,” you said softly as you tugged him closer to rest his head in the crook of your neck.
He choked back a sob. Your heart ached for him, and you held him tighter, whispering gentle reassurances into his hair. “You’re alright, you’re safe. It was just a dream, it’s over.”
It took a while for his breathing to slow, for his hands to loosen their desperate hold on you. When the trembling of his muscles eased, he sat up, gazing down at you with red rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “I thought I lost you.” Inhaling deeply, his brow furrowed as he noticed the dark shadows beneath your own eyes. “You haven’t been to sleep yet.”
You winced, but forced a tiny smile to your face. “It’s okay, don’t worry about me. Just had too much coffee today, that’s all.”
Clearly, he didn’t believe you. Leon sighed and reached out to brush your hair back. He leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead, then laid back down, pulling you flush to him. His fingers trailed up and down your back soothingly. “Try to get some rest, baby.”
——————————————
The memory brought a bittersweet smile to your lips. You sniffled, letting yourself pretend just for a moment that he was just outside the door, gearing up to save the day once again. But it was a fantasy, a pipe dream. No one was coming for you. Leon was all you had, and now you had nothing.
A wailing alarm blared through the room, starling you out of your fantasy. The only window in the room was a small one a little over halfway up the door. You shuddered in pain as you craned your neck in an attempt to see what was going on.
Nothing.
Until a red splatter of blood washed the pane red. There was a thud, then a singular gunshot. Your eyes stared wildly at the door as the handle slowly turned, and the hulking form of a man made his way through.
You sat up ramrod straight in terror when he spun, arms immediately flying up to aim a pistol directly at you. There was a tense moment where all you did was stare at each other. You jumped when the alarm suddenly ceased, the silence more jarring than the chaos at this point.
The man eyed you carefully, then lowered his weapon. He brought a hand up to his face and spoke gruffly into a small radio. “McKenzie here, looks like we got a hostage.”
A staticky voice replied. “Infected?”
“Mckenzie” looked you up and down, eyes narrowing. “Not sure yet, I need to check her over.”
“Copy that. Update me when you find out.”
Your dry throat burned when you spoke up. “‘m not infected, I don’t think. Just…a little banged up.”
The man approached you slowly, gaze softening when you instinctively flinched away. “Hey, okay.” He raised his hand to show you the gun, then slid it back into his holster. “I’m Jake. I’m just gonna take a second to look for any bites, then I’ll get you out of there.”
Heart pounding in your chest, you looked him over. He looked like some kind of officer, with a hefty bulletproof vest and an official looking logo you didn’t recognize adorning a patch on his shoulder. He had cropped black hair and soft brown eyes, a sharp contrast to how intimidating he looked. Despite your trepidation, he didn’t look like he wanted to hurt you. “Okay,” you finally whispered.
He looked you over thoroughly, grimacing apologetically when he had to lift your shirt to check the skin there. “Jeez, kid. They sure did a number on you, huh? Can you tell me your name?”
You mumbled it through split lips, looking anywhere but directly at him. “I didn’t think anyone was coming.”
With a pitying look, Jake leaned back and patted his thighs. “Well, the good news is you’re not infected.”
As he made quick work of dismantling the cuffs on your limbs, you gave him a suspicious look. “And the bad news…?”
The last clasp came loose with a snap, and he scrunched his nose up at you when he sat back up. “Truth be told, most of the people in this building are infected. And—now, don’t panic, because my partner’s here and he’s the best agent we have—we’re going to have to fight our way out.” He offered you an encouraging smile, but it didn’t do much to calm your spiking heart rate.
Your mind jumped back to Racoon City. The dark halls crawling with the undead, horrific monsters that lunged at you from around every corner, the bone chilling fear that stuck around even to this day.
Jake stuck a hand out to you, frowning at the growing panic in your expression. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. Can you stand?”
You couldn’t control the way your body began to shake, the frantic way you whipped your head back and forth. “No.”
“You can’t st-“
Your voice came out as a near animalistic growl, the fear reducing you to pure instinct. “No, I’m not going.” With a strangled gasp, you jumped from your seat the second he stepped closer to you. You darted to the back corner of the room, pressing yourself into it and sucking in panicked breaths.
Jake sighed and dragged a heavy hand through his hair. “You can’t stay here. Hate to say it, but you have two options here.” He held up two fingers, an eyebrow raising. “One, do nothing and die. Two, come with me, and most likely not die. Easy choice, yeah?”
He was right. You knew he was right. But the journey ahead was too daunting, and you were so tired. You’d been through so much pain, so much suffering in your lifetime, and the thought of having to essentially repeat the worst night of your life sent your rationality into a downward spiral. Instead of responding, you sank to the floor, burying your face in your knees and sobbing violently.
“Hey, I have a situation here.”
You faintly registered a tense conversation over Jake’s radio.
“What’s going on?”
The voice on the other end was clearly male. It was low, soothing even, and you found yourself listening in, desperate for something else to focus on.
“The hostage. She’s freaking out, man. I don’t think I can get her to come with me.”
“Fuck. Leave her if you have to, there’s not much I can do to help. I’m pinned down on the East side, the halls are crawling with infected.”
You looked up in time to catch Jake’s torn glance, then pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes. This was too much. Too much too much too much—
“I’m gonna try to change her mind. I can’t just leave her here.”
“Christ, okay. Hurry up, I need some fucking backup over here.”
Jake was by your side in an instant, tugging your hands away from your face. “I know you’re scared, I know. But I need you to get up.”
“I can’t,” you sobbed, cowering away from him. You couldn’t do it. You wanted the horrors to stop, you wanted to go home. You wanted Leon.
“Work with me, here. I-I really will have to leave you.” He looked frantic, pleading with you to listen to him. “I don’t want to, god knows I don’t, but we just… can’t stay here. It’s not a negotiation.”
Your head spun. As much as you wanted to be brave, all the fight had been beaten out of you. Your body wouldn’t allow you to move. Closing your eyes tight, your tears fell faster and faster as you thought of Leon’s warm hands in yours, his piercing blue eyes that always looked at you with such adoration. You were going to die without ever getting a chance to see him again, to tell him how much you loved him. That you missed him. “I want Leon,” you whimpered pathetically into the soaked material of your pants.
Jake sat back, giving you a strange stare. “What?”
Even through the panic, you had the sense to be embarrassed at your weak plea. “Nothing,” you muttered.
“No, wait a sec.’” Jake placed a hand on your knee and shook lightly, getting you to look miserably up at him. “Leon who? Kennedy?”
That made you pause. You stared at him, perplexed, confusion overriding the fear. “You—you know him?”
With an incredulous chuckle, he shook his head in disbelief. “Yeah, uh. Here.”
“Kennedy,” he said into the radio. “You there?”
The reply was instant.
“Where would I have gone, on a field trip?”
You nearly dissolved into a mess of tears again. It was him. No one else would make a stupid quip like that in this kind of situation. And now that you could hear him more clearly, you’d recognize that voice anywhere. Even after all those years, your senses were fine tuned to him. Heart pounding, all you could do was stare wide eyed at the radio.
“Very funny,” Jack deadpanned. “Is there a chance you could find a way to the basement? West hall, third door on the right.”
“Tough crowd. Why, need a babysitter?”
Jake snorted, the sound catching your attention. He seemed to be close with Leon, and your chest tightened. You missed him so much, missed his dry humor and the way he could make you laugh even when you were scared out of your mind.
“No, not me, the girl. Come play white knight and save your princess.”
“I’m not taking out an entire horde of infected single handedly just because you can’t talk to women. Figure it out.”
He sounded harsher, colder than the Leon you remembered. It didn’t surprise you, given how wrecked he looked on the last night you saw him. Dead, emotionless eyes framed with dark shadows, skin pale from exhaustion and shoulders slumped.
“Stop being a dick for three seconds. She knows you, was even asking for you.”
You cringed at the silence that followed. Once again, you were the damsel in distress, needing Leon to rescue you. Hell, you weren’t even sure that he’d give a damn after all that time apart. For all you knew, he’d be happy to leave you behind.
It wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before.
“What’s her name?”
You held your breath as Jake relayed your name to Leon, only to be met with another gut wrenching pause.
Your throat tightened when the radio crackled with his response.
“Give me five minutes.”
“Copy that.” Jake nodded to himself and moved until he was seated, leaned up against the wall next to you. “So, I gotta ask. How do you know Leon?”
You smoothed your sweaty palms over your pants, stomach turning with a whole new type of panic. You were going to see Leon again. In just a few minutes, he was going to walk through that door and drag with him a hornet’s nest of unresolved emotion. At least on your end.
It was a moment before you realized that Jake had asked you a question.
“Uh,” you began, searching for the words. “I was with him in Racoon City. We went through hell together.” Your teeth dug into your bottom lip, and you decided to make a long, convoluted story short. “We were close for a while, but I haven’t seen him in a long time.”
Jake puffed his cheeks as he blew out a long breath. “I knew it,” he mumbled, more to himself than to you.
Still, you were curious. “Knew what?”
He laughed a bit humorlessly. “The second you said you knew him, you’re the girl.”
That caught your attention. Mouth suddenly dry, you asked hesitantly, “The girl?”
“Yeah,” Jake said, shaking his head. “He only brings it up when he’s about a shot away from alcohol poisoning, but he gets all weepy about the ‘one that got away.’”
You couldn’t process the information. Leon considered you the one that got away? Missed you enough to cry about it? It didn’t feel real. “I—“
Jake cut you off. “Do not tell him I told you that. He’ll actually kill me.” He turned to look at you, face serious. “I’m not joking, take that shit to the grave.”
It was so ridiculous you would’ve laughed, if it weren’t for your bruised ribs. That, and the sudden cacophony of gunshots that sounded just outside the door.
You and Jake were on your feet in a heartbeat, just in time for the hall to ring silent, and the door to creak open.
Leon stepped in the room, and you were catapulted to the past.
——————————————
“I can’t do this,” Leon mumbled, eyes downcast at his lap. He was seated next to you on the couch, hands white knuckling his thighs.
You could barely look at him. Tears stung the corners of your eyes as you tried not to collapse into a million broken pieces. You’d known this was coming for weeks. He’d been caught up at work more frequently than usual. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, but it was telling when he didn’t bother to check in with a call or at least a text. He was withdrawing, and nothing you did seemed to make a difference.
“Okay,” you forced out. There wasn’t anything left for you to say. Part of you wanted to fall to his feet, cry and beg him to stay, but you knew how selfish it’d be.
“Are you…are you gonna be okay?” He asked, the breaking of his voice making your chest hurt. Always thinking of you, even when he was in the middle of breaking your heart.
“I’ll be fine.” You barely recognized the voice as yours, it sounded so void of life. The room felt far away, like your eyes were a camera stuck in wide focus. “Can you just tell me why?”
Leon swallowed thickly and looked off to the side. “This is just how it has to be.”
Of course he wouldn’t give you a straight answer. Not when you hadn’t had a real conversation in over a month. You shouldn't have even asked. “Just go, Leon.” You didn’t want him to see you cry. Even after everything, you didn’t want him to worry about you.
He sighed heavily before he stood. Just as he reached the door, he turned to look back at you, mouth opening as if he wanted to say something. But he decided against it, leaving you cold and empty on the couch as the door clicked shut.
——————————————
You were frozen, mind replaying the scene like a buffering video stuck on repeat.
Leon was panting like he’d just run a marathon, blood and bits of rot coating his vest. He barely spared a glance for Jake. No, his attention was solely on you, mouth pressed into a thin line as he took in your battered form.
Wanting to say something to break the unbearable tension, you opened your mouth. “We’ve gotta stop meeting like this.” Smooth.
With an incredulous look and a shake of his head, Leon crossed the room in two long strides, then pulled you in for a crushing hug.
The rest of the world faded out. You didn’t care that he was covered in gore, that Jake was standing awkwardly a few feet to the side, that there was a world of horrors waiting just beyond the room. For a moment, there was just Leon.
You clung to him, a few sobs tearing from your throat. His hand came up to cup the back of your head, stroking over your tangled hair. “I got you, I’m here. Shh , you’re okay. I’m here now.”
“Not to, uh, interrupt the moment, but…” Jake began, interrupting the moment. “We need to get moving before it gets any worse out there.”
Reality hit you like a punch to the gut as you pulled away from Leon. You took a step back and peered around him, towards the door. He recognized your hesitation instantly and touched your arm to get your attention. “Hey, look at me. Just like old times, right? I got you through it before, I’ll get you through it again.”
Taking a shaky breath, you nodded, bracing yourself for one last hurdle, one last mountain to climb until you were safe in your own bed again. “Okay,” you said simply.
Leon nodded, squeezing your arm once before letting go and gesturing for Jake to take the lead. Leon brought up the rear, sandwiching you between the two men.
You had to force your feet to move when Jake pulled open the door. One step, two, and then you were plunged back into your own personal hell.
——————————————
“Can you run?” Leon was standing over you as you knelt on the ground, hissing in pain and clutching your ankle. He fired a few shots at the approaching monsters. “I can’t hold them off, we gotta make a break for it.”
Your twisted ankle screamed in pain when you shakily rose to your feet, “I think s—“ you cut yourself off with a whimper as the first step nearly sent you tumbling to the ground again.
Leon snapped his head to you, and cursed. Without hesitation, he turned on his heel and holstered his gun, then wrapped two strong arms around your middle. You gasped as your world spun, grasping wildly at Leon’s shoulder’s for traction, thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
He took a few cautious steps, then stumbled into a near-sprint. He carried you like you were weightless, and your cheeks flushed red at the iron grip he kept on your legs.
——————————————
“Are you listening to me?”
“Huh?” You looked up at Leon, squinting to see his face in the dim hallway. You’d been winding through the maze of tunnels and rooms for what felt like hours. Infected lunged out at every corner, your ears were ringing from all the gunfire, and you were tired. You had been on your last leg after the weeks of torture, and you could feel your body giving up. The only thing keeping you going was Leon.
It was always him.
His eyes were wild with urgency, hair frazzled with sweat and exhaustion. “I asked if you could run. Something triggered the lockdown procedure, this place is about to turn into an underground coffin.”
Shaking off the momentary daze, you grit your teeth and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Jake was already taking off down the hallway when you took your first few steps. Every muscle in your body trembled, but you pushed on. After everything, the last thing you wanted was to be a liability. You wanted to prove to Leon that you were strong, and the insecure voice in your head whispered that he was tired of saving you.
“Faster,” Leon urged from behind you.
And you were trying , but as Jake’s figure moved further and further away, you realized that you just couldn’t. Your broken body had been pushed to its absolute limit. Once again, you were weak.
You shouldn’t have been surprised when you felt your feet leave the ground as an arm hooked behind your legs, but you still let out an undignified screech. Without missing a beat, Leon had scooped you up bridal style. While running at a full sprint. After spending hours fighting the undead.
If you weren’t so damn scared, the sheer show of strength would’ve turned you on.
Leon caught up to Jake in just a few short seconds. There wasn’t much for you to do besides cling to Leon’s chest and whip your head wildly around at the gore soaked walls. Around a short bend and up a flight of stairs—he barely sounded winded, what the fuck— then into a long corridor. Long windows stretched the length of the hall, opening up into what looked like exam rooms, similar to the one you’d been held in.
When you instinctively craned your neck to see, Leon’s grip on you tightened. “Don’t look, it’s—“
He barely got the words out before something slammed itself against the window. As Leon carried you past, you were able to catch a glimpse of it. The monster looked like it had once been human…at least, you thought so. Its face was mangled to a near pulp, and its convulsing body was littered with white horns. After a beat, you had to suppress a gag. They were bones, sticking out of ripped flesh at odd angles. And there was one in every cell. You couldn’t look away, each disfigured creature more horrific than the last.
When you whimpered in terror, Leon readjusted his hold on you and cradled your upper body against his chest. “Don’t look at them, look at me.” When your head obediently tilted up, he praised you. “That’s it, you’re doing good. We’re almost through, just keep your eyes up here.”
You were thankful that he had to focus on the way ahead so that he couldn’t see how your gaze traced over his sharp jawline, then down to his broad chest. For the first time that night, you let yourself really take in how much he’d changed. The most glaring detail was that he was so much bigger than you’d remembered him. His bicep was nearly the size of your head. His hair was longer, too. Though it was tangled and plastered to his skin, it suited him.
But the differences weren’t all positive.
The bags under his eyes had darkened significantly. And not just because of the current situation; he looked like he hadn’t slept in years. And his mouth, curved downwards in a perpetual frown. You hadn’t seen him smile once.
The features on his face started to blur in a dizzying rush. It seemed the second you stopped moving, everything caught up to you all at once in a suffocating swarm of pain.
You barely even noticed you were blacking out until you were limp in Leon’s arms.
——————————————
When your eyes fluttered open, the first thing you registered was a firm warmth against your cheek. You leaned into it, groaning at the throbbing pain creeping into your skull.
“Hey, you awake?”
The sound of Leon’s voice jolted you back into consciousness, and you sat up with a gasp as the last few hours rushed back. “What happened?“
You were in the backseat of a car, half slouched against Leon. In the driver’s seat was Jake, who met your eyes through the rear view mirror. “You took one look at Leon’s face and swooned.” He said teasingly, grinning at you.
“Shut up,” Leon barked at him, then turned back to you with a softened expression. “Honestly? I’m surprised you stayed on your feet as long as you did. You’re in bad shape, honey.”
The pet name made you flinch. It was too familiar, reminded you of a time you could never go back to.
“Am I gonna live?” You were only half joking. With a splitting headache and a radiating agony that lit your nerves in pain, you wouldn’t be surprised if you were on death’s door.
“Nope, I broke my nose trying to save your life just to let you fade out in the backseat.”
You looked at him, bewildered. “You broke your nose?” It was hard to see, the only light coming from the occasional flash of moonlight through the window and the glow of the radio in the front seat. But sure enough, you were able to spot a dried rivulet of blood tracing its way down Leon’s chin that hadn’t been there before.
Jake snickered from the front seat. “That’s not what happened. You broke your nose when you got beamed in the face with a metal door.”
Leon leaned his head back against the seat, scoffing. “One, how was I supposed to know that undead asshole was going to fling it open at mach ten? And two, if my arms hadn’t been full of this one—“ he reached over to pinch your arm affectionately. “I could’ve caught it before it hit me.”
You were happy to see Leon, you really were. He’d answered your prayers for him, appearing like a guardian angel from the heavens, and you’d been over the moon. This was everything you’d wanted for years, and yet…it felt wrong.
Leon was acting like there’d never been animosity between you two, was picking up right where he left off like your parting had been on good terms. You weren’t expecting an apology, but he could at least give you something. Some sort of acknowledgement of your mangled heart. Jake’s words from earlier rang in your head. “—he gets all weepy about ‘the one that got away.’”
Maybe if he’d just take a moment to be open with you, instead of this flippant nothing-happened-everything's-okay act he was pulling, you wouldn’t be prickling in irritation and clenching your jaw.
As Leon and Jake’s bickering continued, the conversation settled into a background hum of white noise. You sighed and scooted out of the middle, leaving a good foot a space between you and Leon. If he noticed, he didn’t comment, and you rested your head on the cool glass of the window.
——————————————
As soon as the doors of the cable car shut behind you, Leon slumped onto the bench and clutched his face. “He broke my fucking nose,” he grumbled. “He couldn’t have just, like, snapped my neck? That asshole got close enough to kill me, and all he does is clock me in the fucking face?”
Leon swore up a storm as thick blood poured from between his fingers. But you couldn’t help but giggle; partly from sheer relief that you’d escaped the Tyrant yet again, and partly because, well, it was a bit ridiculous. And now the calm and collected Leon was stomping his foot on the metal floor like a child throwing a tantrum.
“Come on. Let me see, you big baby,” you said, snickering as you sat next to him and tugged his wrist away from his face. Despite the bleeding, it didn’t look that bad. There’d be a hell of a lot of bruising, but it looked like it’d heal straight.
“I can’t believe you’re laughing about this.” He was incredulous, but allowed you to pinch the bridge of his nose and tilt his head forward, hissing in pain.
You wiped at the blood on his chin with your jacket sleeve, still giggling. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just, you’ve been Mr. Cool this entire night, but the second something happens to that pretty face, you’re all up in arms.”
His lips curled up in a crooked grin as he looked up at you through long lashes. “You think I’m pretty?” He asked, batting his eyes.
“Sure do. Wanna fool around in the cable car?”
Leon went bright red and tugged his face away from your hand. “God, you are so bad.” He was still smiling, though, snorting out a laugh.
The flirting had started somewhere in between the helicopter crash and the first appearance of the Tyrant. It wasn’t serious, more of a way to lighten the mood as you fought for your lives. But, you figured, if you made it out of here in one piece, it might be worth seeing if there was more than just teasing banter between the two of you.
Your stomach rolled, and you corrected yourself. When you made it out of here. When.
——————————————
You didn’t realize you’d fallen asleep until the car was rolling to a stop and morning light was shining on your face. Blinking, you frowned when you realized that you recognized your surroundings. “You remember where I live?”
Leon stretched in his seat, nodding. His eyes were hazy, like he’d been sleeping, too, and he yawned before he responded. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”
Your annoyance from before your nap returned with a vengeance. Why wouldn’t I? I don’t know, maybe because you walked out on me three years ago? Instead, you mumbled, “Figured you were gonna take me to a hospital.”
Jake piped up from the front seat, reminding you that he was there, and that he hadn’t slept yet, christ. “Nope.” He popped his lips on the ‘p,’ sounding not at all like he’d just driven through the night after running himself ragged from infected. “The, uh, people that took you are pretty far reaching. We don’t want your name on record like that.”
You shifted uncomfortably. Fuck, you hadn’t thought about the possibility that escape from that cell didn’t mean escape from whoever kidnapped you in the first place. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” In an attempt to hide the way you balked at the idea of going back to your empty apartment, you forced out a laugh and reached for the door handle. “Well, I really appreciate the help, boys. Special thanks to you, Leon, coming back for an encore to save my ass yet again.” You were just as bad as Leon, you realized with a heavy heart. Dismissing everything as a joke and acting nonchalant, even when you were terrified at the thought of getting abducted again. “I’ll see you around, thanks again.”
“Uh, what?” Leon stopped you before you could open the door, a hand on your arm. “I’m not letting you stay here alone, it’s not safe.”
You froze, both from the touch and the newfound information that Leon was going to be in your apartment again. And he didn’t make it sound like Jake would be sticking around as well, so you’d be alone with Leon. In the same place he’d held you, made love to you, broken you.
“Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” You wanted to say more, tending to ramble when you were nervous, but Leon was already getting out of the car.
Jake turned around in his seat to smirk and waggle his eyebrows at you. “You two have a lot of catching up to do, huh?”
You didn’t get a chance to reply. Your door was flung open and Leon’s hands were reaching out to you, ready to help you up. Your eyes fell onto his hand, then away. “Thanks again, Jake. I mean it.” The man in question offered you a wink and a good natured smile, and then you were hauling yourself out of the car, ignoring Leon’s outstretched fingers.
His lip twitched, but he said nothing, instead waving to his partner and leading the way down the sidewalk to your building. You were thankful that it was still so early; you didn’t need any of your neighbors to see the state of you, with your tattered clothes and Leon’s blood spattered ones.
Now that it was just the two of you, the tension in the air was palpable. He was silent on the way up, as were you. There was nothing to say, except a stuttered apology from you as you reached the door.
“It’s, uh, kind of a mess. Didn’t have time to clean up.” It was a lame joke, but Leon still chuckled.
In the end, he had to pick the lock. You had no clue where your keys were. Or your wallet, your phone, or anything else you had on you at the time. Hell, did you even still have your job?
Thankfully, your place wasn’t as cluttered as you’d remembered when you finally stepped through the door. Cursing loudly, you rushed down the hall into your kitchen, then whined as you came to a stop in front of the counter.
Leon was quick to follow. “Everything okay?”
Lip puffed out, cradling a wilted aloe plant, you turned to face him. “My plant died.”
And that did it. The first genuine smile from Leon. He laughed quietly and shook his head, crossing his arms across his chest. “You’re something else, you know that?”
Sighing, you set the poor dead thing to the side and leaned back heavily on the counter. Leon stood quietly in front of you, and it dawned at you that he was just as lost as you were. Neither of you had any idea what to say, how to communicate once the nonstop action had finally ceased.
“Um, do you want first shower?” You asked, suddenly timid. Unbelievable. Five minutes alone with the man and you were left feeling like the odd one out in your own home.
Leon grimaced, then rubbed the back of his neck. “Look,” he started, voice trailing off for a moment. “I gotta, uh, y’know.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “What, you have to leave?” Of course. Why had you expected anything less? He clearly wanted nothing to do with you, and the friendly act from before had just been appearances.
“What? No.” There was a split second where his shoulders sagged, and hurt flashed in his eyes. It was covered immediately by a nervous laugh. “I just, I’m gonna have to take a look at some of those injuries. Make sure they’re clean and that none of them need stitches.” After a beat, he added quietly, “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think it was necessary.”
If you’d been drinking something, you would’ve choked on it. Leon had to check you over, had to look at your bare skin and take care of you again. And, wait, hold on—what the hell did he mean by that last part? “Ouch, really know how to make a girl feel good about herself, Leon.” The sharp edge to your attempt at a teasing tone betrayed the real hurt behind the quip.
He cringed and moved to step towards you, then thought better of it. “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that, you’re—I just, I mean, I feel bad about doing it because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, okay?”
Oh. Although the idea still wasn’t very appealing, you supposed it was unavoidable. The last thing you needed to deal with was some infection from that disgusting lab. “Okay, yeah. Just give me a second.”
You walked past Leon to the opposite side of the kitchen where you kept your glasses. When you stood up on your toes to reach up onto the shelf, you swore you felt eyes on you. But when you turned around, Leon was looking off to the side, towards the living room.
Your first sip of water nearly made you moan, and you nearly drowned yourself gulping down the glass. It didn’t even matter that it was straight from the tap instead of your fancy fridge filter, or that the glass was surely caked in dust. When you noticed Leon raising an eyebrow at you, you set the glass down and scoffed. “What? You’re the one who said I was probably dehydrated.”
“I didn’t say anything.” He turned away and started off down the hall, past the living room and towards your bathroom. “Hey, you still have that first aid kit I got you?” He called to you.
“Yeah, it’s under the sink.” Taking in a deep breath, you followed after him.
Your bathroom wasn’t small, but it was still close quarters when you stepped into it. Leon had the kit opened up on the counter, and he patted the other side of it. “Come on, up here. It’ll be easier for me if I don’t have to bend down.”
“What, getting old?” You quipped, then groaned as you hoisted yourself onto the counter. It would’ve been easier to let Leon lift you up onto it, but you’d had enough of that for one day.
“Wow, I almost forgot how funny you are,” he deadpanned.
It made you feel sick, how easy it was to poke fun at him, how natural it felt. But that was all there was. Just a back and forth, a game.
Your breath caught when Leon stepped between your legs. He reached for the hem of your shirt, then paused. “I’m just gonna take a look, let me know if anything hurts.”
“Everything hurts,” you ground out as you leaned back on your arms. At least the pain distracted you from how blue his eyes were up close, and how you could feel his body heat from how close he was standing.
He was gentle when he lifted up your shirt, even more so when he helped you pull it over your head. You shrunk in on yourself, self conscious of the ratty old sports bra you’d had on for who knew how many days.
But that’s not what Leon was looking at.
His wide eyes were tracing every violet bruise in varying stages of healing, every angry cut dried with blood. And when he caught sight of the scabbed over lashes on your back in the mirror, his jaw tightened.
“You, uh—“ he swallowed hard before continuing, jerking his gaze away and towards the kit. “I’m gonna start by cleaning up those cuts.”
You hissed and straightened as he pressed a rag soaked in hydrogen peroxide to the gash on your stomach. It wasn’t the worst one, but it was the freshest, and it stung like hell.
Leon worked fast. He was gentle, yet efficient, and it wasn’t long before he was setting aside the bloodied rag and sighing. “Are there any more on your legs?”
Even if there were, you wouldn’t have told him. There was no way you were stripping down to your underwear, that would’ve been too much. “No, they’re just a little banged up. You got all of them.”
He nodded, then settled his hands just below your rib cage.
You flinched at the sudden touch, stuttering, “W-what are you doing?”
“Checking for breaks.”
His fingers moved slowly up your body, pushing into your skin. The pressure hurt, but that wasn’t what you were concerned about.
A red flush was creeping its way onto your cheeks, and you looked up and away from Leon. Not that it mattered, because a sneaky glance told you that he was staring at the drain in your sink like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.
“Okay, we’re good,” he said, taking a step back and drawing his hands away. They lingered on your skin briefly, like he was reluctant to let go.
Fighting back a disappointed hum at the loss, you nodded. “Thank you.”
Your body was betraying your head. It remembered his touch, and was starved for it. It was almost impressive how quickly Leon could flip you from ecstatic, to angry, to horny in seconds, and you hated it. You hated how much control he had over you, while you seemed to hold none over him. You’d spent years pining for someone that only cared when he was drunk, apparently. You were disgusted with yourself.
“I’ll bandage up the one on your stomach after you shower, but the rest are already scabbed over, so they’ll be fine.” Leon busied himself with tidying up the scattered supplies, then turned to leave. “Just yell if you need saving again,” he said as he shut the door.
It was clearly supposed to be a joke, but you bristled, staring daggers at the closed door. Maybe it was the exhaustion talking, but if he made one more ‘damsel in distress’ comment, you were going to kill him.
——————————————
Leon let out the breath he’d been holding in a long sigh as the door closed behind him. He couldn’t fucking believe it. He was back in your apartment, staring at the same paintings in the hall, passing by the same bedroom that he’d shared with you, cleaning you up in the same bathroom that he’d bent you over the counter and—
He had to stop himself right there. The second he found out it was you in the lab, he’d set a list of self imposed rules. You were strictly off limits: he couldn’t flirt with you, couldn’t fuck you, and he definitely couldn’t fall to your feet and beg you to take him back like he desperately wanted to.
He’d already broken the first rule, and he was coming dangerously close to at least attempting to break the second. From the glances you kept giving him when you thought he wasn’t looking—he was always looking—he was fairly convinced that you were still attracted to him physically. And he was weak, knew that all you’d have to do is ask, and he’d crumble in a heartbeat.
Tending to you had been a test of his self control. He’d barely been able to calm the shaking of his hands before they checked your ribs, and the quiet hitches in your breath whenever his fingers dug in nearly undid him.
Stretching and groaning at his aching muscles, Leon made his way to the living room and flopped down on the couch. Head tilted back, he closed his eyes and listened to the white noise of the shower running.
——————————————
“I can’t do this,” Leon mumbled, eyes downcast at his lap. He was seated next to you on the couch, hands white knuckling his thighs.
His throat was on fire, burning with unshed tears. He swallowed hard and braced himself for your fury. He expected anger, or tears. Probably both. Maybe you’d yell at him. God knew he deserved it.
“Okay.”
That was it, that was all he got. He chanced a look over at you, and his heart shattered. You looked so…empty, like you’d known this was coming. He supposed he hadn’t been around much lately, anyway. Hadn’t called enough. Hadn’t talked to you enough. Hadn’t been there enough.
He had to keep repeating to himself that it was for the best. All he ever wanted was for you to be safe, and that just wasn’t possible with him around. Not in his line of work. Not after his last disaster of a mission.
“Are you…are you gonna be okay?” He asked, voice cracking as his lungs seized.
“I’ll be fine.” You sounded resigned in a way he’d never heard from you before. His hands squeezed tighter on his legs as he fought the urge to reach for you. “Can you just tell me why?”
Leon swallowed again and cast a longing glance down the hall, towards the bedroom. The one that he’d never sleep in again. The reality hit him all at once; he was never going to see you again. He felt like he was going to throw up. “This is just how it has to be.”
As much as he wanted to, there was no use in explaining. You’d always been so stubborn, almost as bad as he was. If you knew the real reason, you’d talk him out of it. You’d look at him with those fiery eyes and declare that you could decide what was best for you, thank you very much, and he’d fold. Because he was weak. Because he was selfish.
“Just go, Leon.”
God, you sounded like you hated him already. Hopefully that would make it easier on you, if you were angry with him. But it turned his stomach, and he had to take a deep breath before standing so he didn’t actually puke.
Every reluctant step towards the door had him closer and closer to saying to hell with it and begging for your forgiveness. He’d grovel like a dog if it meant you’d look at him with love in your eyes again.
He turned back as his fingers closed around the handle. He had so much left to say to you, so much that he needed you to know.
‘I’m just trying to protect you.’
‘This isn’t what I want.’
‘I love you.’
‘Please don’t hate me.’
But with the suffocating absence of you already crushing his lungs, he couldn’t make a single sound.
He left before he could change his mind.