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1....2..."
And the knife slipped with a delicacy learned from much observation and even more trial and error.
You're havin' fun there, I'm sure you wish that was me, isn't it ?"-She says. Smiling again.
"She" is only in your head, she can't speak."-Sara repeated to herself over and over again as she slid the file once more.-"You'll be back home very soon"-She thought while ignoring with an admirable willpower the constant teasing and random phrases that Sirena usually throws when Sara is completely alone.
It's a little bit late, aren't you tired? I'm tired."-She says again. Always causing the same feeling to Sara.
Shudder.
Sara shudders without really knowing why.
She wants to believe that it is fear, that she is genuinely terrified because that creature is almost twice her size, she watches her all the time and although she seems more like a fish from the rest's perspective...
They don't hear her speak. No, they never listen to her.
Sirena never speaks to them, she just looks at them with a hate that makes them fear. (And justifiable it is.)
A hate that means strongly and clearly a:
"As soon as I get out of here, I will torture you, I will boil you alive, I will cut you and kill you only to finally devour you and enjoy your taste after your suffering."
And Sara doesn't really blame those for avoiding that creepy, but captivating, creature of myth.
And Sara wouldn't really blame herself for fearing that beautiful being just as much.
But she is not afraid of her.
And if she does, and if she really fears her, Sara knows very well that that feeling does not go beyond her admiration for that being.
She admires every detail when she believes that she is not being observed.
From the strands that are her hair, to her elongated and scaly tail.
Admire the way in which that being seems to repeat its actions, how its "hand" moves delicately and slowly to accommodate a strand of hair that is too present on its face, just in the same way that Sara does when she cleans the tables, admire the textures of its scales that she can observe under the lights and in front of the water, the size and how it is structured, similar to one of the fish with which she used to prepare herself when she was away from her "home".
She admires the way she tends to move her lips, as if she will really speak....but she doesn't, "she" never speaks when there is someone besides Sara herself.
Admire the mischief of each enveloping word that seems to come out of her lips, that invites her to get closer, to take a little closer look, a little look and nothing more, just to admire every simple piece of skin in sight, every strand that makes up her long and beautiful hair, Sara wants to admire every part of that being just to get rid of the uncomfortable sensation that floods her body.
Sara really hates her.
How can she want to admire with such fervor a creature of myth, that she will soon cook and see how they taste of her being?
She just doesn't make sense.
And that makes her hate her even more.
She feels as if she has fallen under a spell, a deep and overwhelming spell.
Every word she says, the way she says it, gravelly but enveloping, almost warm, as if her voice were a relief to the gloom in which she Sara is always.
She feels as if that mythical creature has taken notice of every human that has ever been there, as if she has carefully chosen who is the weakest, the most easily influenced, the easiest to get along with.
And she noticed Sara.
Only in your head... 1... 2.."-And she slid the knife once more, with the same finesse that shows dedication and that you might mistake for a true passion for what she does, even if it's just to relieve stress and insomnia.
Yeah, late..."-Sirena says, lower this time. She still watching Sara doing that....to the fish.-"How can you eat so much "fish" ?, that's exactly what I usually eat in seven days and nights."-
It's not for me"-Sara answers before that she notices that she actually answered to the mythical creature.
So why are you doing it?,it's not for you,and you don't seem to really enjoy it,even if you wish that was me"-Sirena says again,but with a little smile,not the usually dork (and kind of curious) and derision of always.
I'm sorry, I'm not actually listening to you, nameless creature."-Answer again, this time notice it, hopping that was the end of that weird conversation at 3am.
Sirena"-She says, lower, shudder Sara.
What...?"-
I have a name now, my name is Sirena, what's your name?"-
Okay, it's late, I get it, goodbye "-Said Sara, trying to calm down. That creature wasn't really talking to her and she herself was delirious because she needed to sleep for a couple of hours.
What's your name, nameless creature ?"-Sirena repeats, and that kind of smile reappears.
Only in your head,1...2.."-And Sara slipped the knife for the last time.
What's your name, nameless creature ?"-Sirena repeats again.
Sara starts to clean up the little 3 hour vent she had.
What's your name, nameless creature ?"-Sirena repeats again...and again...and again...
What's your name, nameless creature?"-And again.
What's your name, nameless creature? "-Sara finished cleaning when Sirena repeated her words for perhaps the tenth time in the last 5 minutes.
Shut up!"-Sara finally says.
What's your name, nameless creature?
Please...shut up..."-Sara says.-"I want to be here as much as you, please...shut up for once".
Sirena look at her.
I hate this place too"-That was what Sara interpreted in Sirena's look.
We hate this place..."-Sara says, lower, cleaning her hands before getting close to Sirena.
Why you don't want to be here?"- Sirena asked, with a much lower and calmer voice, without the mocking tone that usually makes Sara so desperate.
I was going to have a life outside of this ruined place...I was going to study abroad, I was going to be able to live far, far away from my family."-Sara admits in a low voice, as she closes the distance between her and Sirena even more, until she is right in front of her.-"I was going to get away from my father's reputation, I was finally going to be...free"-she added.-"He recently passed away...and I had to come back to keep this exhausted dream afloat."
Sirena looked at her, as if she understood every word, as if she truly understood her pain and longing.
Sara felt the tears closer than they usually are.
He's dead, he can't torment you anymore, so why you still here?"-She asks, again.
My mom....this...this isn't so easy,i...i can't disappoint her...no more..."-Sara replied, in the same low voice, but with a tremor in her own voice, the tears seem to come out and the mythical creature moves her hands and puts her in front of Sara, once again.
Sara puts her hand out slowly, looking up at her before wiping away one of her tears that she had already rolled down her cheek.
At least I know I won't die...., I'm so sorry, Sirena "-she confesses looking at her.-" I... I really don't want.... I don't want to do that to you... you're not... you're not-"
And if you didn't have to do it?"-Asks Sirena, observing the confusion on Sara's face.-"I can save us from this, I can make you as free as I was."-
Sara just observes her, observes how her attitude changes from her, how she allowed herself to be enveloped and how close she is to the mythical creature.
But the differences disappear, the similarities envelop her.
Does the creature of myth offer her a ....way out?
Sara knows that she shouldn't, that she can't, that it's wrong, that she should go, it's too late.
But she looks at Sirena.
And Sirena smiles.