Work Text:
The Engineer had always been a hard worker. He worked hard on his inventions, his friendships, and (currently, most importantly) planning things. He was standing outside, under the trees, in the spot he thought the Soldier would like the best. He sits on a tree stump happily, holding a basket of lunch he made. The two have been dating for four months now. They were happy but rarely got any time alone together. Luckily, the teams had two weeks off due to difficulties with respawn. During this time, Engineer had snuck off and planned a date with Soldier. The two planned what they wanted for lunch, but the Engineer kept the spot a surprise. He only gave Soldier directions, which the two went over many times to ensure Soldier wouldn’t get lost. The place wasn’t too far from the base, about a five-minute walk away. Sitting on the tree stump, Engineer kicked his legs giddily, knowing Soldier would meet him here any second now.
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The minutes pass by, and Engineer slowly gets worried. What if something happened to him? What if he got lost? What if he forgot about their date? As time passes, Engineer gets up and walks around, making sure he isn’t lost somewhere near where they were meant to meet up. He looks everywhere near the site, and eventually walks back to his tree stump, sitting on it sadly. Soldier would show up soon, right? That’s what always happens.
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After more time passes and the sun begins to go down, the Engineer begins to get upset. He had worked so hard to plan this and make this happen, and Soldier wasn’t going to show up? He quickly stopped thinking like this once he thought of everything bad that could have happened to Soldier. His mind begins to race, and his breathing quickens. He begins to panic. Soldier is never late to things like this unless something has happened to him.
"Monsieur l’ingénieur." The French voice coming from behind the engineer scares him, and he jumps up, nearly falling but knowing how to catch himself from years of being crept up on by the enemy team. When Engineer doesn’t say anything in response, Spy sighs and begins to talk. "I have some bad news for you. You do know that respawn is down, yes?" Engineer nods and looks Spy in the eye. "Soldier was, ah, rocket jumping, I’m sure you’re familiar. I believe Medic said he was trying out a new trick of sorts. Well, he landed it wrong and is in very critical care with Medic. Last I saw them, I was told Soldier was not going to make it." Suddenly, Spy’s phone rings, and he excuses himself to answer. Engineer only stands there, taking in the information. His Soldier was dead? The Engineer's head is racing with what could be taking the Spy so long. Once the Spy comes back, he looks different in a way the Engineer can't explain. "I’m sorry, Engineer. Soldier is gone. I will leave you to your thoughts."
And with that, Spy walks away, leaving Engineer alone with his thoughts. He has no idea what to do, so he just cries. He stands there and cries, his goggles lifted and placed on his head. He sits back on his stump, moving his thighs up to his chest and crying into them. The rain patters down, bouncing off the Engineer's helmet. He takes his helmet off and throws it at a tree. Hating the fact that he remembers laughing with Soldier when their helmets hit before their first kiss. He sobs into his knees as the rain soaks into his clothes, pattering off of the lunchbox next to him. Two hours later, he decides to go back to the base, still crying and soaking wet. He leaves the lunchbox.
Once he gets back, Medic avoids his gaze; he doesn’t want Engineer to blame him for his lover's death. Of course he doesn’t. He’s more mature than that, and he knows, deep down, that it’s Soldier's fault for rocker jumping while respawn was down. Engineer doesn’t bother to look at anyone, simply walking back to his room and lying on his hard bed. The bed he started to use more after he and Soldier got together. He hugs his pillow and cries. He doesn’t bother with going to sleep, only thinking about what is gone now.
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Two weeks later, respawn was officially fixed. It took longer with Engineer not helping as much as he could have. But who could blame him? Usually, they would send Soldier in to lift his spirits, but they couldn’t do that now. They couldn’t even send in Spy in a disguise because Engineer would just ignore him. Medic would send in food every now and then to make sure that he was properly fed. No one was allowed in his room. He would only come out for battles, and even then, he made sure to stay in the back and avoid being seen by anyone. He especially didn’t want to see the other team's Soldier.
No matter what he tries to do, he can’t let go of Soldier. He tries everything, even going to Medic in private and asking if the man can help him. Of course, there is no quick fix for bereavement. He tries to do what he can: fix his sleeping, distract himself, anything. But everything reminds him of the man. He’s tried to kill himself multiple times just to reset himself. Nothing works.
The Engineer had always been a hard worker when it came to forgetting about Soldier. This time, it seems, hard work won't pay off.