Chapter Text
Each and every day – or whatever passed for days up in Heaven – only served to confirm that Crowley might have been in the right all along.
It had started with little things such as the other archangels being as confrontational as anything when it came to all that Aziraphale might have suggested. And the fact that getting to actually implement anything needed at least seven different departments and thirty or so signatures.
He was surrounded by piles upon piles of paperwork at all hours and that frankly was more than a bit suspicious because he could have sworn on what he held dearest that Gabriel would have never been bothered with the blight of any paperwork, let alone this insane amount of it.
And, of course, there wasn’t anyone to talk to about anything other than said paperwork.
No one to have a glass or twenty of Chateau Margaux with after a particularly bothersome day.
Or to share a seven-course dinner with.
There was no wine.
There was no dinner.
There was only mana and Aziraphale had sworn that off as soon as he had discovered the delight of human sustenance.
It wasn’t as if he actually had to eat. But eating had always been so nice. So… human. And he had to say he quite missed all of the little restaurants where they knew him by name.
He had tried applying for an Earthly Pass more than forty times now in the several long months he had spent Upstairs.
But what did it…. what utterly and completely did it, was neither of those things. No, it was something else entirely that had him inside the Metatron’s office submitting his proverbial two weeks’ notice.
And, of course, it was Michael-related because, Aziraphale had to give it to Crowley yet again, but Michael proved to indeed be a bit of a wanker, pardon his hard way learned French.
He had pondered over many a plan of how to actually convince Crowley of the soundness of his idea of returning him to his angelic status. He had filled a whole diary with them. Had lists upon lists even. Was completely and utterly certain that if only he found the right words – and was actually granted access to Earth – he might convince him of it and then everything would be alright in the Universe once more.
Which is why when he had been asked by Zadkiel in one of those daily never-ending meetings why was the second in command position still not filled yet he had told the lot of them exactly why.
‘And what, you just expect we’ll receive him back with open arms?’ Michael snorted in a very un-Michael-like fashion.
Michael who had opposed him ever since the Metatron had declared him to be the next commanding Archangel.
Michael who always questioned his decisions for all to hear.
Michael who had even point blank told him that she thought he was the most ill-fitted angel for the job.
But Aziraphale didn’t care about any of that all that much. He was well used to how the Archangels had treated him for millennia. And he supposed he got why someone who had coveted that position for all of those aforementioned millennia would have it in for him.
But badmouthing him was one thing. And badmouthing Crowley was a different thing altogether.
‘Now, listen here -’
‘No, you listen, Aziraphale, and you listen well. It doesn’t matter if even God Themself appeared as a burning bush or whatever takes Their fancy and tells us that by the grace of… well, everything holy, I suppose, he is to be granted full angelic status yet again, none of us will be treating him as an equal. Right?’
There were a couple of nods around the conference table.
‘He’s been a demon for thousands of years. How do you think having someone as tainted and as vile as him become second in command would fly with any of us?’
‘I think you’re quite out of order, Michael.’
‘And I think you’re delusional,’ Uriel stepped in.
‘Angels far and wide would avoid him like the plague. Shun him. And anyone who associated with him, at that. I don’t know what despicable temptations he performed on you while on Earth but those won’t work on us, Aziraphale. He is lesser than any angel and will always be.’
Aziraphale drew in a deep breath preparing himself for the beratement of a lifetime before quickly coming to the realisation that… that’s exactly what he had thrown Crowley’s way each and every time they had had a spat.
You are fallen.
And.
You’re a demon. It’s what you do.
And.
Well, obviously you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys.
‘Right,’ is what he said instead and got up from the table and proceeded to leave the room, ruckus that followed his quick departure completely ignored.
And that was why, here he was, a couple of minutes later in the Metatron’s office telling him just what’s what.
Politely, of course.
Aziraphale put a high price on his well-being and ability to keep his corporeal form because without those he had absolutely no way of getting back to Crowley.
Because he didn’t think that the Antichrist would be able to provide him with the latter a second time around.
There was much discussion about trial periods in human corporations and how Heaven should also implement those in order to see if the candidates picked for a certain role were actually the best fit.
There was always the Second Coming issue that Aziraphale had been more than wary about ever since being appointed this position.
But, after months of paper pushing and not much else, he finally realised that it would probably take them at least six thousand more years to plan it.
And even if he had just a thousand years by Crowley’s side than that would be enough.
Well, even a hundred.
Even ten.
He’d take any second he could get.
If Crowley ever took him back, of course.
But Crowley would. He was kind like that despite Aziraphale not deserving it and Crowley disliking being called that.
But he was.
The kindest supernatural entity he had ever had the pleasure of knowing.
And he finally could be honest with himself about that, couldn’t he?
‘Very well, then,’ the Metatron sighed. ‘You can be conscripted back to Earth. You do make a fair point about the benefits of actually knowing how humans work. Muriel has already managed to have us send a whole squadron down there.’
‘Oh?’
‘Well, yes. We had to do a memory wipe on a whole street. Thrice.’
‘Oh, dear.’
‘Indeed.’
‘I never caused a mass memory wipe.’
‘You have not. And there is better use of the Powers’ time than doing that so as soon as you have the proper paperwork on my desk you are free to go. It hasn’t worked to the best of my expectations with you in charge over here, has it?’
‘There seems to be a lot of opposition to everything I suggest, yes.’
‘Michael?’
‘Indeed.’
The Metatron sighed again.
‘What am I to do with her, Aziraphale?’
It was a rhetorical question, of course, but Aziraphale felt like replying anyway.
‘Well, nothing other than Angel in Command would seem good for her, no? For “she who is as God”?’
A stupid appellation, to be sure. But one that she truly took to heart.
There were a lot of things to be said about Michael and pride as one of the seven deadly ones. And about how she had still managed to keep being at the top all of those years despite all of her failings.
Once upon a time this would have spelled like heresy, but Aziraphale was starting to catch on. And all of his findings were not at all pleasant. Nor was he pleasant about it.
No one who insulted Crowley deserved any pleasantness on his part.
‘Yes, well, that certainly came back to bite us,’ the Metatron acquiesced in a very out of character manner.
‘Chamuel seems like the proper angel for the job, if you were actually asking for any of my input.’
‘Chamuel? Huh. Never would have pictured him as commanding material…’
‘Ah, but you see, the fact that he always tried to appease everyone might prove quite the advantage. Maybe then we wouldn’t have so many heated debates that lead nowhere.’
‘Mmmm…. You might have a point there, Aziraphale.’
Aziraphale bowed his head and never once mentioned that he had just suggested the Archangel of Peace as the one who should preside over what would essentially be the second and maybe this time successful End of Days.
‘I will take it into consideration.’
‘As well you should,’ Aziraphale tried to keep the enthusiasm out of his voice and the smile off his face.
***
The bookshop was… well, it was far starker than when he had left it.
Muriel had given him a bone-crushing hug because they had found out that that was what humans did and then Aziraphale had to sit them down and explain that while he had a Heavenly issued corporation most humans did not and such behaviour would end them in the A&E.
Then he had to explain what the A&E was.
He had tried his hardest not to fully manifest all of his sets of wings and thoroughly smite the poor thing where they stood with a wide smile on their face and an expression as pure as he had only seen on Crowley’s face back in the Before times.
They had apparently given away almost half his stock.
But.
They had written down all of the people’s full addresses and telephone numbers. Came with the job, after all. They were very obstinate about keeping records.
And Aziraphale planned on buying it all back and throwing quite inordinate amounts of money into it when the time came.
But that was for later.
For now –
‘Mister Fell!’ Maggie gathered him into another tight hug.
‘Yes, quite,’ he gently patted her on the back and hoped that all of the hugging would be done soon.
‘We missed you so much, Mr. Fell!’
‘You did?’
‘Of course we did! It just wasn’t the same without you around. Now, your niece is just a peach, but still, you always brought a certain something to the community.’
‘My niece?’
‘Muriel? Lovely gal. I actually started getting some money to pay you back – you know, on the rent. And I wanted to give it to her but then she asked me what rent was. Such a precious soul. I could give it to you now if you want -’
‘Oh, that’s not necessary. But… that means that you’ve actually started selling records. Oh, that’s wonderful!’
‘It is! You do have to thank your grumpy friend for me, Mr. Fell.’
‘My… grumpy friend?’
‘Oh yes. Mr. Crowley. I know he is entirely responsible for it.’
‘You do?’
‘Of course. I was complaining about it one day at Nina’s and he just waved his hands about and next thing you know people started buying records in spades. I’ve never had so many customers. I’m actually thinking of hiring an assistant.’
‘And how –‘
‘Oh, come off it, Mr. Fell. We both know that neither of you is entirely human. You don’t hide it very well.’
Why are you referring to Muriel as my niece, then?
But, then again, he had to admit that humans were very big at picking and choosing information that they had a hard time comprehending.
‘I suppose we don’t. So you and Nina then….’
‘Oh yeah, we’ve been dating for two months now. It’s wonderful! Mr. Crowley is a teensy bit responsible for that too, you see -’
‘He is?’
‘Well, he and Nina apparently had a rather long talk at some point. You know he goes to the coffee shop every day. Anyway, they had this long heart to heart and then she came over and she just kissed me. Can you believe that?’
‘I… well. I guess congratulations are in order.’
Maggie smiled at him and looked like she was on the verge of a second hug so Aziraphale stepped back a step or two.
‘Do you have any idea where Mr. Crowley is?’
‘Oh. I’m afraid not.’
Aziraphale’s face fell.
‘But Nina must. They are as tight as anything, those two.’
***
‘Nope, nahah, go away.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘You don’t get to come in here as smug as anything after what you did.’
‘I… what did I do?’
‘Make that poor sod drink himself to sleep or cry himself to sleep every night. Let me tell you that having to take him home almost every night is not that good for the love life.’
‘Take him home?’
‘Yeah, stupid bugger insists on driving even if he’s three sheets to the wind. So I have to babysit him. Thanks for that.’
‘Home, though?’
‘Some swanky flat in Mayfair.’
‘He got his flat back? Oh, he must be so happy!’
‘Ecstatic. Hence all the sobbing. And that is your cue to get out.’
‘Oh?’
‘I know all about toxic relationships and you, mister, are the cause of one of them, so,’ Nina waved a hand towards the door, ‘off you pop.’
‘I didn’t… I mean…. I am not… I mean… I love him. And am trying to find him to tell him as much.’
‘Oh, do you? Cause you’ve vanished for months, leaving that poor fucker on his own with me and Maggie taking care of him. She has your back, by the way. And that’s also a bit not good for the love life.’
‘I was wrong, yes. But now I am back and I will make it all right again. And it’s going to be rather wonderful.’
‘Right. Good luck with that.’
***
Aziraphale smiled beatifically at the doorman when he was let in and even extended a minor blessing his way.
There was almost a skip to his step as he forgoed the elevator in order to take the stairs only for fear that he would fidget right out of his corporation if he stayed put for even a second.
Crowley was only minutes away and they could finally be a them once and for all and Aziraphale thought that he might be shining brighter than the dawn of the first day because of all the excitement.
He would confess his undying love and everything would be okay.
And then they would be together finally.
He could maybe be allowed to kiss Crowley back. To hold him in his arms.
Not at all like he had several months previously when he had no idea how to go about it.
Not that he had gathered all of that information in the meantime.
Just the desperate urge to hold on to his demon and never let go.
If this would have been any other time he would have probably been out of breath by the time he reached the penthouse but seeing as it was not, Aziraphale had had a rather short talk with his corporation and they had mutually decided that out of breath was something that should be happening sometime later in the evening and definitely not now.
He was just in front of Crowley’s door and he could feel him on the other side – much like he had always felt him throughout history.
He was there and alive and breathing even if maybe not okay – judging by what Nina had told him. But that was to change any minute now.
He rang the doorbell.
And then waited.
And waited some more. He rang the doorbell again.
And what seemed like an eternity later he could hear movement in the flat before having the door spring open.
‘Crowley, I -’ he all but beamed at him, even stepping forward for one of those hugs that he completely despised if it were anyone else.
Crowley looked like he had been sleeping for a while, silk pyjamas all rumpled and his hair – his glorious now long hair that reached his shoulders – adorably mused.
Crowley did him a one over.
‘Nope,’ he grunted. And slammed the door in Aziraphale’s face.