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The house was in chaos. The moment Primus entered through the doorway, he wanted to back away and never return. He was used to the constant arguing, screaming, and teasing. And although all of it frequently gave him a headache, he usually brushed it off. After all, one can forgive anything when it comes to family, right?
He grimaced, an unpleasant smell invading his nostrils. At first, he didn't recognize it, but soon, his eyes widened in fear.
»Please, for the love of god, tell me they didn't …« he muttered, quickly taking off his shoes. After a long day of work, the last thing he needed was a house fire.
As he stepped deeper into the house, the arguing got louder. He moved towards the noise, carefully like a cat, curious to know what happened and how it would play out but also ready to interfere at any moment. Primus was now close enough that he could make out the conversation.
»You halfwit,« was the first thing he heard. »I told you so many times, and you still don't listen. I really thought this was something even you could do, stupid as you are. But I guess you managed to surprise me yet again, Tertius.«
»Shut your trap Secundus, and help. I'll be damned if we order takeout tonight again,« said another voice, one belonging to Quartus.
»You'll be damned either way,« responded Secundus and laughed.
For a moment, everything went quiet, but then the room got with screams, insults, and the sound of glass breaking. Primus sighed, stood in front of the door, lost in his thought for a second, then squeezed tightly around his briefcase and carefully entered. The scene he witnessed in the kitchen was borderline funny but made him shiver slightly as well.
Secundus and Quartus were caught up in a fierce fight. The only thing separating them was the dining table. Tertius, Sextus, and Quintus were all cheering from the sidelines but not interfering. No one noticed his entrance, or they simply didn't care.
He dodged one of the flying glasses just in time. It shattered into pieces slightly above his head, some of the glass getting caught up in his hair. He cursed under his breath and pressed himself against the wall as tightly as he could, trying to avoid the fight. He knew he should break them up and lecture them. As the oldest brother, it was his responsibility to keep the peace in the house but at this point, he just didn't care. He was the only one in the family working since their father left – not that he ever took care of any of them, though – as all of his brothers were either too proud or too lazy to find a job. Sure, he was a senior vice president at a bank, and his pay was enough to keep them all afloat. Still, he was sick of providing for everyone else, especially when they were all old enough to take care of themselves.
He focused on the scene in front of him once again. Quartus was preparing to launch his biggest attack yet. In his hands, he was holding a tray full of burnt god knows what, the one that Primus assumed was the root of their disagreement. To be honest, though, he felt that the burned dinner was their own fault. Everyone knew that Tertius was an awful cook. The man once even managed to burn a soup, an achievement Primus just couldn't get his head around.
The audience cheered in unison as Quartus lifted the tray and tossed it toward his older brother. Secundus didn't quite grasp what was happening, so the food hit him right in the face, staining his clothing and hair. The room got filled with laughter. Even Primus couldn't help himself and cracked a smile. After his success, Quartus had to lean on the wall behind him, his body convulsing in laughter. Secundus took advantage of that, jumped on the table in a rage, and body-slammed himself against his younger brother, pulling at his hair and making Quartus scream in pain.
At this point, Primus had had enough of everything, so he stepped towards the fighting pair and roughly yanked Secundus away. The dark-haired man kept squirming and fighting, but with Quintus' help, they managed to calm him down.
»Enough. I said enough!« exclaimed Primus in a commanding voice. »You're even now, so let it go, both of you.«
Quartus was still whimpering in the corner, one of his hands covering his head. Only then did the oldest brother notice the blonde locks of hair that Secundus was victoriously gripping with his right hand. Before he could restrain himself, he snorted, staring at the bald spot that Quartus was trying so hard to cover. At that point, the others noticed it too.
»Aren't you a bit young for hair loss, eh?«
Sextus was the first to start with the insults, running his fingers through his lustrous hair to emphasize his point.
»His mother's side must have had some weak genes,« added Tertius, and they both giggled.
»What's going on?«
Everyone froze as Una strode in, unimpressed as always.
»I asked you to keep quiet because I have to study,« she said, making sure to give each individual present an annoyed look. »How do you expect me to pass medicine with the constant fighting going on around here?«
Every single brother stared at his feet in shame. If there was one person who could always keep the house in check, it was Una. She didn't need to scream and repeat herself as Primus did. Her calmness and sternness were enough to immediately shut up even Secundus.
Primus lifted his look and noticed a dark crow-like figure standing behind his sister. So the dark prince finally decided to leave his room, he thought to himself, looking not too kindly at his youngest brother. Septimus was, like Una, still in college. He was studying chemistry and passing it with flying marks. He could easily find himself a job and lift some of the burden from Primus' shoulder but refused to do so.
Una grimaced her face.
»Ew. What is this smell?«
»Uh … Dinner,« responded Sexus, a comment that would usually draw at least a chuckle from those gathered, but in front of their sister, they didn't dare.
»Tertius. I even gave you written instructions. All you had to do was cut the vegetables and meat and put them in the oven. What went wrong?« asked Una, half annoyed and half concerned.
Tertius didn't know how to respond and instead started nervously fidgeting.
»And you, Quartus? What's wrong with you? Who hurt you?«
With tears in his eyes, Quartus pointed at Secundus, the other hand still covering his bald spot.
»Well, at least it looks like you managed to pay him back,« sighed Una, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly after taking a look at Secundus.
»Alright,« she continued, »we still need dinner though. Quintus, cut up some vegetables. Sextus, you make the sauce. Septimus, you're in charge of the salad and the pasta. Don't overcook it,« she warned. Septimus nodded, a grim expression still on his face.
»Primus, you go change and refresh. Secundus, clean yourself up. Tertius, prepare the table, and for the love of god, do not touch the food. And you, Quartus, come with me. Let's take a look at your hair.«
Without a single objection, everyone immediately went to work. Tertius opened the windows to let the burnt stench out, and soon all they could smell was the delicious sauce cooking. It took the three brothers less than 20 minutes before the piping-hot food was ready. They were just in time as Primus and Secundus had just changed, while Una took care of Quartus, who strode in happily, without a single sign of the fight on him.
And so they sat down for dinner, one of the few moments they didn't spend fighting but rather simply talking, and even if they didn't enjoy each other's company, they at least tolerated it.
Maybe this isn't the worst family in the world, Primus thought to himself as he loaded his plate with more food.
leo (Guest) Mon 23 Dec 2024 01:33AM UTC
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