Chapter Text
BY THE TIME Joohyun returns from a sanctioned raid on a nearby town captured by rebels, she’s exhausted.
They weren’t unsuccessful, no—just terribly ineffective. Chased the rebels away into the overgrown wilderness. Couldn’t capture the leader, despite a clear path to victory. Caught supply trucks only to realise supplies are scarce and already used up.
She’d slipped away from the group, unable to endure their petty squabbles. Crouched in the shadows, she crept and collected anything useful. Ration bars. Broken knives. Dirty bandages. Expired medicine packets. A tattered book lay on the armrest of a couch, open in wait for its reader. Joohyun packs all of them into her backpack.
Once she’s back at FEDRA headquarters, ready to slip into a fitful sleep—she finds her name plastered on the Interrogation Duty roster. Since no one’s around to say Joohyun saw the roster, she slinks out towards their living quarters and finally, to her designated room. They don’t have any prisoners to interrogate, she isn’t going to be missed.
But she doesn’t sleep.
Instead, she stashes the loot underneath the rickety bed and flips through the book, finds the name ‘Crime and Punishment’ at the top of a page. The cover torn out for supposed fuel. Although engrossed in the first chapter, she drops off to sleep from sheer exhaustion.
A knock wakes her up.
Groaning, she gets up on her elbows. One of their younger recruits stands at the open door—she doesn’t remember if she left it open or if the asshole opened it without being invited in.
“They need you down in the prisons.”
He’s rather forgettable, plain and oddly handsome. He introduced himself months ago, she thinks he’s from Jeju—doesn’t remember the name. Mark, maybe.
“I don’t think they do.” She pauses, and gets up to sit. “Besides, I’m busy. Learn to knock first.”
His shoulders hunch immediately and she’s sure his cheeks are flushed. “Your door was already open.”
“Sure, Mark. Now scram.”
“My name’s—”
Joohyun cuts him off, rubbing at her eyes. “I don’t really care.”
“Well. They asked me to come get you, I think they caught some Firefly.” She doesn’t respond. “Or I can go and tell them you’re not really interested in your job…”
She stands, book still in hand. She could read a couple of pages while she’s down there. “Hold onto your trousers, bud. I’ll go.”
Joohyun scowls all the way.
She rubs her neck, slept all crooked in the backseat of an abandoned car. Hadn't slept for more than 2 hours—instead she preferred to "keep watch". Most officers don’t bother to acknowledge her as she makes her way to the prisons. Those that do, don’t receive any response except for a vague nod. There’s already a guard stood outside the cell in full FEDRA regalia, she stops herself from rolling her eyes.
It’s not like she needs any protection from a captured Firefly.
She steps inside, nose scrunched. There’s an ever present stench in these holding cells, a mixture of blood and sweat and excrement. FEDRA hasn’t had a prisoner in months, but that smell lingers—no matter where you go.
The Firefly is slumped forward in the chair. Hasn’t fallen on his face due to the restraints that keep his hands tied behind it. His face is bruised, lip split open—nose crooked and bloody. He doesn’t take any notice when Joohyun sits on the chair in front of him.
She studies him for a moment and leans back after a while, opening the book. He isn’t going to talk. She’ll stay for a few minutes and go back to her room after jotting down in the logbook that he’s difficult. Someone else can do a proper interrogation.
A couple pages in, the man spits on the floor.
Some blood splatters over her shoelaces—she just washed these boots last week. “How about you introduce yourself?” He looks up at her, one of his eyes is bruised dark red and swollen. “C’mon, we’re practically besties by now.” He hacks another bloodstained spit at the floor. “Hey, that’s not fair. I’ve got your blood all over my shoes and you haven’t even told me your name.”
“You think it’s fair that your men collared me like some mongrel?”
Joohyun's lip quirks up at that. “Naw, you’re not collared. More like restrained. Why’d they catch you?”
“Go on, do whatever it is you FEDRA fucks got planned for me,” he says, and sits straighter—his Firefly dog tag dangling from his neck. “I don’t have to say anything to you.”
She sighs, and looks out at the guard. There isn’t any way for her to leave now, the man’s got great timing. She leans forward, book gripped in one hand. “Yeah, you’re not obligated to say anything but you can cooperate.” He stares down at the floor. “I mean, you’re a Firefly in the middle of FEDRA headquarters. They don’t need you, they need the information you’re holding.”
“I’m not a Firefly.”
“Oh, so you like to dress up as a terrorist for fun?”
He shakes his head and a hollow laugh reverberates throughout the holding cell. “My people are not terrorists—”
“Aw, ‘my people’. That’s real sweet, and yet you say you’re not one of them.”
“Fireflies are not terrorists. We—they exist ‘cause your men do shit to innocent people like me. They exist to revolt against your rule, to—”
Joohyun cuts him off mid tirade, eager to finish this. Belatedly, she wonders how many times she’d need to wash her clothes to get this stench out of them. “Look, your innocence doesn’t interest me at all.”
“Ask your men why I’m here.”
“Bud, buddy. Quit acting like they’re my personal army and I asked them to do this to you.”
He spits again on the floor. Some of the spit dribbles down his chin, clearer now. “FEDRA’s all the same.”
“Okay, I’ll just assume they caught you planting explosives around the QZ.” Sinking back into the chair, she observes the way his expression darkens, eyes dry and full of an unrestrained hatred.
“No, I’d never do that! We’re not the ones dropping firebombs across cities!”
Hiding a wince, she looks away. She knows what they’ve done, what they still do—she isn't delusional like some of the soldiers she’s met. Saw them mow through infected, and civilians alike. Heard their claims that they had to mitigate ‘necessary threats’. Their violence sat like rocks lodged in her oesophagus. Joohyun clears her throat to get rid of the feeling.
“They’ve gotta take those measures to stop the infection from spreading.”
“Is that what they tell you?” He says, voice sharp like a well concealed dagger suddenly at your throat.
Joohyun stares at the back of the book, unable to meet his eyes. “Yeah, but.” She pauses, and licks at her dry lips. There’s no way she could forget her father’s signature on the order to neutralise the infected in central Daegu. “That’s not why we’re here.”
“I only joined the Fireflies ‘cause you people are damn fascists and I had nowhere else to go,” he snarls, and that earns a smile out of Joohyun. “What’re you smiling about?”
“You finally admitted it.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not a Firefly anymore. I left”
Why’d they capture an ex-Firefly? He doesn’t look like the sort of person who’s ever held power in their hands. She’s sure he doesn’t have any important information. Hell, none of those scrawny terrorists do. Except for Queen Firefly —someone Joohyun would’ve loved to interrogate.
“How’d you land here, then?”
Finally, as though some invisible strings are cut, the man lets his head hang in defeat. He doesn’t answer, and the silence settles into a ringing pitch. Joohyun feels a burst of annoyance, she should’ve just left earlier when she had the chance. He is a difficult bastard. She’s about to get up when she hears him speak. “I couldn't stand the constant pressure just to prove someone else’s lopsided ideology.”
“That still doesn’t answer my question.”
“They caught me going through their ‘classified’ documents.” He grins, despite the obvious pain that shoots through his bruised face. Teeth marred red. Eyes hateful pinpricks. “I’m here ‘cause you FEDRA fucks have kept so much information from the general public. Information even someone like you doesn’t know.”
She stands, rolling her eyes in annoyance. “Okay, let me get this straight—your plan was to play hero and disperse them among the public like souvenirs?”
“No. I’d have gone to Hwacheon.”
Hwacheon. Hwacheon… Hwacheon. Joohyun raises the book to thwack him across the head. But doesn’t go through with the motion.
“Come on! That’s just a bedtime story parents made up to put their kids to sleep.”
“Oh, it’s real. Who are you to say otherwise? All holed up and sheltered inside your QZ.” He shifts restlessly, struggling against the restraints. “You’re blind to the world outside these walls! FEDRA’s got papers on Hwacheon. Reams upon reams of documents on towns and cities that exist—”
Joohyun drops the book on the chair and the sound stops his tirade. She shifts her attention to the guard stationed outside the cell. It doesn’t seem like he was eavesdropping but you can’t really stop yourself when the contents of the discussion involve schizophrenic drivel. But—
The drivel is interesting. Only slightly rooted in reality.
She’d heard in disjointed fragments about documents FEDRA compiles on different areas. Infected areas. Non-infected areas occupied by rebels, hunters. Or those areas too overgrown or destroyed for settlements and outposts.
“Hey, buddy.” Joohyun calls out to the guard. “Yeah, you. Come inside.” He wanders inside, eyes owlish and blinking in confusion. The Firefly zeros in on the assault rifle in the boy's hands, defiance lined in the tilt of his chin. He expects she’ll order the guard to shoot. “You’re dismissed.”
He blinks again at the order but puffs his scrawny chest out, eyes trained at the wall. “I can’t go. I’m stationed here.”
“Go take a break, get some food. You look like you were dragged in the mud for days.”
“I don’t have orders to go.”
“What, they don’t let you go piss unless you’ve got orders from your superiors?” He flushes at that. Joohyun reaches into her pocket and pulls out a recently sharpened pocket knife. “I gotta say, someone had a brilliant idea—giving a kid prison guard duty… Trust me when I say you should go, go. You’re better off not seeing any of it.”
He nods once and leaves, after stashing the assault rifle in its case. She approaches the Firefly—who’s lost all colour on his face—and squats down in front of him.
“Y’know, I’m starting to suspect you’ve gone mad but I’ll hear you out.” His breath is sour and comes out in quiet gasps. She angles the knife up, inches away from his kneecap. The pants are frayed and dirty, in need of a replacement. “Why d’you think FEDRA’s going to such lengths to hide those places?”
“I’d never stay in any QZ, or with any group once I’d find out there are other places out there. Places taken back by good people who create stable communities.”
Joohyun pauses, lingering on that thought. Of course, she’s only stayed so long out of necessity. But communities like Hwacheon aren’t real—communities reminiscent of the days before the outbreak. Humans comfortable and safe inside a suburbia. Those documents, though, are real. She says, “I don’t believe for a second that someone like you would risk their entire life just to journey across the whole country for a place that doesn’t even exist.”
He shifts his knee away slightly. “You don’t know what kind of a person I am. You don’t know what I’d do to get away from this life, what I’d do to finally…” He trails off. “To finally live and find some peace to live out the rest of my godforsaken life. I thought I’d find some meaning by joining the Fireflies but their cause is as good as dead. I’ve done so many things to further their goals.” He watches her for a moment, then says, “You do that, too—for FEDRA.”
“Okay.”
Joohyun pushes herself up and goes behind him to cut through the haphazardly tied restraints. Doesn’t care to salvage them for future use, the knot too tight to work through otherwise. He tilts forward out of surprise, but shoots up from the chair. Hands rotationally rubbing at the marks left by the rope. Hunched over, he’s rather short and emaciated under the ratty oversized tee. He’s limping. She clicks the knife closed.
His gaze keeps darting over to the open cell door. “Why’d you do that?”
She shrugs, stepping to the side. “I’ve got what I needed. Now get outta here. Don’t get caught, otherwise I’ll shoot you on sight.”
His conviction to find Hwacheon still lingers when Joohyun finds some civilians trying to sneak into the QZ. Their leader, or spokesperson who had the guts to speak up, claimed they were ‘refugees’ coming from the Pocheon QZ after it was lost to the rebels.
Once they’re scanned, and split into groups—half of them are carted off for sanitisation and inspection, while the others are taken to be neutralised—she wonders idly why they didn’t even think about going anywhere else.
They had the chance to find new, inhabited areas, away from military rule.
Yet they chose to journey all the way back to another QZ.
Uneasy, Joohyun walks away from her post. Holsters her pistol. Hopes that ex-Firefly meets other people and relays every piece of information he’d managed to find on other cities. Although she isn’t convinced that FEDRA’s got classified documents locked away in some dilapidated room, forgotten and unguarded. She doesn’t wish for more people to fall victim to this allure of safety. The cracks have already started to show.
Murmurs are carried in the air as she walks back to the living quarters. A few citizens gather in the square to see the commotion. She squints up at the building.
The makeshift offices are on the top floors. She groans, rubbing at her face. “I’m out of my goddamn mind to even consider...”
Joohyun looks up to see a group of soldiers huddled by the entrance giving her contemptuous stares, she flips them the bird and pushes past them. She goes through mental checklists but none of them make sense if she doesn’t even have access in the first place.
She hurries up the stairs. Of course, she should’ve gone straight to Seulgi. Her only tether to FEDRA—the only other person she knows connected to the hierarchy, who’d have access to unrestricted areas. Familiar faces pass by her on their way down, probably going for lunch. Surprisingly, their rooms are on the same floor. She’d joked when they were assigned their rooms, that Seulgi had requested her dad to make this happen. But received no indication if that was the case instead of an eye roll.
The shuffle of papers reaches Joohyun before she skids to a stop in front of the open door. Seulgi’s sat on the floor. Eyebrows pulled together in a semi-frown, focused—a habit Joohyun finds terribly endearing. She’s rather pretty in an unassuming way, lit by the sunlight streaming in through the window.
Joohyun leans against the doorframe, arms crossed. “Ddeulgi, let’s go get lunch.” Historically, Seulgi gave in whenever food was involved. When shortages are rampant and any sustenance outside FEDRA is scarce, you don’t question the stale crackers and dirty water. Back in military school, their first interaction was over a piece of white bread. Seulgi was prickly and monosyllabic until Joohyun shared half of it under their assigned desk. “I’ve heard they’re serving pasta.”
Seulgi isn’t surprised to see her. Her lips twinge at the nickname, mostly out of annoyance. “I had a ration bar earlier.”
Okay, she can try another approach.
“Me too! So, I had an idea…”
“No, I’ll pass—your ideas usually get us into trouble.” Seulgi looks up, startled by the uniform. “Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere else?”
“I’m on a break, geez,” she says, pulling off the helmet. “Besides, I was never the reason why you got into any trouble. That’s on you.”
“I can easily list all of the times you landed us into trouble off the top of my head. D’you want a notarised document? I can get that for you after I’m done with this.” Seulgi picks up the papers and waves them around to make a point.
Joohyun makes her way inside. Kicks at Seulgi’s shoe. She stays quiet, chewing at the end of the pen she’s holding. “What’s got you so busy?”
“Something they didn’t want you to work on. Obviously.”
“I can wait.” Joohyun sits on the floor and picks through Seulgi’s neatly stacked books that lie unread in a corner. None of them are any interesting, but she leafs through Dispatches in an effort to pass the time. Glances at Seulgi a few times, sees her ink the paper in quick, short bursts. Cap caught between teeth. Joohyun isn’t curious, no. She’d like to know—in passing, somehow—what Seulgi is really doing. Hoping that the information just leaps out from those confidential pages.
In another moment, Seulgi pushes herself up. “Y’know, I am kinda hungry. I'll drop these off at First Lt Kang’s office and meet you at the cafeteria.”
Joohyun tilts her head to the side, blinking up at Seulgi. “I didn’t realise we’re bypassing ‘dad ’ and going straight for official titles now.” Has to control her expression into one of sage composure. She’s almost giddy on the inside.
“He’s my senior and this is in a work capacity.”
“Okay, you’re officially a weirdo.” She scrambles up after Seulgi, dropping the book on the tidy bed. Joohyun never tidied her own bed. Found the whole ritual useless. Only did it up until the day she graduated, until the nightly inspections stopped.
Seulgi raises one brow. Then looks away. “All I’m gonna say is just drop whatever’s going on in your head.”
“What makes you think I’ve got anything going on in my head?”
“Like that’s ever the case.”
As they near the staircase, Joohyun doesn’t head down. Instead, she pauses—hand on the lopsided bannister. One half of the stairs rotted and slightly collapsed to the side. Theyr’e told to stay at the corners, skip steps. She runs through mental logistics in rapid succession. The only way to find out their secrets is to actually tell Seulgi, get her in on it. She can’t do it alone. Catches onto the sleeve of Seulgi’s shirt.
“I’ve got something I need to tell you.”
“Whatever it is, don’t. I’d rather not be complicit.” Seulgi pulls away, starts climbing up with Joohyun right behind.
“I’m sorry, not everything I do is illegal.”
Okay, what she’s got on her mind is technically illegal. Only if they get caught.
“Most of the time. I’m not helping you break into Sergeant Lee’s alcohol supply.”
Joohyun rolls her eyes. “That’s the last thing on my mind.”
“Really? Don’t you think that’s fun?”
“Of course, that old bitch shouldn’t hoard every damn bottle in the city.” Joohyun bumps her hip with Seulgi’s. “What would you do for fun if it weren’t for me?”
Seulgi snorts, rolling her eyes. “I don’t know, read? I don’t have the time for fun, anyway. Especially not for your brand of fun.”
“Ah, yes. Letting the leadership take advantage of you is much better than—”
“They ask for some extra help. I pitch in whenever I can.”
“You can literally say no. It’s not like they can throw you to the infected.”
A few more floors and they reach the offices. The floor is empty and strangely liminal. People are already gone for lunch. Joohyun doesn’t come up often now, except when she’s called by their Master Sergeant for a long winded lecture she half listens to.
“You don’t have to follow me,” Seulgi says, oddly childlike in the way she shifts on her feet.
“No? I thought that was the plan.”
“Joohyun. I can’t let you come with me to the office.”
Joohyun looks past her to the other rooms. Most of them will be locked, she knows that much. They can talk later. “No, yeah. I can wait.”
Seulgi climbs up to the next floor. She doesn’t miss the way Seulgi’s guarded expression bordered on suspicion. She doesn’t bother to wait—the lure of curiosity pulls her to check the rooms. She’d be wasting time if she stood around like a clicker.
The rooms are dilapidated, she finds—as she’s doing a general sweep—in the sunlight coming in from the crooked and broken blinds. Empty and hollow lamps off to preserve what little electricity they make. Some rooms are open, their owners didn’t bother to lock them. None of the documents she finds are inherently classified—normal bureaucratic bullshit. She knows what she’s looking for isn’t going to be out there in the open, in any random officer’s room.
Moving onto another room, she turns the knob and collides with the closed door. God fucking dammit. She clutches her nose in pain, expecting to find blood. She jiggles the knob a few times.
Joohyun runs a hand through her hair. Locked means good. Getting down on her knees, she tries to make it budge. Old doors usually give, but she can’t kick it open. Someone else might still be loitering somewhere.
They should’ve taught everyone how to pick locks instead of the drivel Joohyun learnt in military school. She’d found a safe once no one could open. She still thinks about it to this day.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Joohyun startles and spins, back pinned against the door. Heart climbing out of her throat. It’s just Seulgi.
“Quit sneaking up on me! I almost had a heart attack.” Her pulse slows after a couple deep breaths.
“I knew you were up to something. I shouldn’t have let you follow me.”
“I can come up here whenever I want.”
“Sure, I guess you break into storage rooms all the time. What d’you want?” Her voice is sharp and flinty. As if she’s Joohyun’s keeper. Answering for her misdeeds.
“Maybe I do. What’s it to you?”
“You can get suspended, for one,” Seulgi says, rather neutral. “It’s not like you have a great record in the first place.”
Joohyun’s never directed any sort of anger towards Seulgi. Even when she said or did something that would’ve earned a punch to the gut had it been anyone else. Seulgi is afraid of disrupting the order. Joohyun makes a split decision to keep her out of it. “I’m looking for information on Daegu, okay?”
“Oh.” That disarmed her in an instant. “Why… why don’t you go through your dad’s old office? He might’ve kept them there.”
She snorts. “I’ve already done that.” They gave her 15 minutes under supervision to gather whatever she could that held sentimental value. There wasn’t much. Except for a photograph she stashed in her backpack.
“In any case, I don’t think they have those files anymore. They burnt a lot of that stuff last winter.”
“Fuck, okay.” Joohyun holds her wrists out. “Handcuff me, officer. Yah caught me.”
The corner of Seulgi’s lip twitches. “I think… that’s some stuff in First Lt—I mean, dad’s office.”
Surprised, Joohyun forgets to reply until Seulgi raises her brow. “Oh, yeah. Yes!”
On their way up, Joohyun picks which stair is stable enough to handle their weight. She needs to skip at least five. It’d be safer to work in a building full of infected. Or somewhere out in the open—Joohyun wouldn’t be cursing FEDRA’s decisions. Seulgi gets out the keys.
She pushes the key into the doorknob, twisting it three or four times until the lock opens. She puts her hand out as soon as Joohyun takes a step. “Please keep your hands to yourself. The last thing I need is my dad to assume I’ve been nosing around.”
Joohyun rolls her eyes. “Of course not.”
“Joohyun.”
“Chill. This ain't my first rodeo.”
Joohyun shoves her way inside. She files through some of the documents on the desk, none of them are what she’s looking for.
“Hey,” Seulgi calls, “you might find this interesting.”
She skims the titles, subtitles, and some paragraphs. But they’re entirely useless. Lists of infections. Stages. Euthanisations. No mentions of the firebombing, not that that was what she wanted. She’d assumed—incorrectly, that Seulgi’s dad might have some of those files. He seemed like a rational man. Someone who’d hoard that information for the day their QZ inevitably collapses. She hands them back.
“I’m gonna check some of the other rooms…”
The more layers to their security, the more curious she gets. What’s so damn special about the other areas? Before she can leave, Seulgi grabs her forearm. “No, no—no . Everyone’s gonna come back soon.”
“So?”
“I’m not gonna be the one getting caught giving you access.”
Joohyun scowls, chewing at her cheek. She’s glad she didn’t tell Seulgi about the documents. “Okay, okay.” She puts her hands up in defeat. “Give me the damn keys, then—and stay out of this mess.” Seulgi hesitates. “I asked you instead of anyone else in this QZ. You also have the chance to walk away.”
She looks away and hands her the keys. “Fine. I’ll keep watch. Don’t take too long.”
Joohyun grins. Heads to a few of the locked rooms. Scours through them until she hears Seulgi saying, “C’mon. We need to leave.”
“Give me a minute.” In the last room, she finds open maps on the desk. Circles and dirty scrawls drawn in red. “Jackpot,” she says, pushing them inside her vest jacket.
Before she can turn to go, Seulgi’s already closed the door behind her. “Someone’s coming up,” she whispers, dragging Joohyun with her under the desk. Her skin prickles with discomfort. Light comes in like disjointed slants from the blinds and she can see the brown of Seulgi’s eyes. Seulgi always smells neutral, like generic soap.
Footsteps ring outside and a shadow passes underneath the door. After a moment, they emerge from the room.
“Hey! What’re you doing here?” A man calls. Seulgi stops, muscles freezing while Joohyun was about to make a run for it. He comes closer. “Seulgi? Shouldn’t you be at lunch?”
“Yeah, I was just dropping off some papers in First Lt Kang’s office.”
He raises his brow, arms crossed. Beer belly barely held back by the t-shirt. “And yet you’re coming out of Captain Jeon’s office.”
“Oh.” The tips of Seulgi’s ears are flushed. “We were sneaking around…”
He laughs, booming. “Okay, now run along before anyone else sees you.”
Joohyun wakes up to news that two soldiers from their city defence force were assassinated in the night.
The poor bastards never stood a chance. No armour and equipped with decommissioned pistols. The Fireflies’ symbol was still wet by the time they were found—etched into the wall like a dismembered trophy. She didn’t go see like some of the others had, couldn’t face the memories of their previous raid.
Called by Corporal Yoon for an emergency meeting, Joohyun remains in a corner. Crime and Punishment opened in her hand. She can’t bother to listen or participate in their bullshit. Same old ideas are thrown in the air. Unable to watch Seulgi nod her head in affirmation.
Her gaze halts on the page when she hears her name. “—of Joohyun this happened in the first place. She should’ve killed that Firefly, instead of letting him go. We could’ve stopped this!”
Joohyun looks at the girl. One of those new Privates they recruited. Less than three months in and she's already such an obedient little soldier. Probably didn’t even need to be brainwashed. “Wow, that thick skull of yours doesn’t absorb any new information. He was an ex-Firefly. He escaped. They would’ve done more if we’d shot an active member.”
“They could’ve assumed we’ve got him down in the prisons. Who's to say they know he left? Did he tell you about putting in a resignation notice?” She snaps, snarky.
Joohyun glances at Seulgi but she doesn’t meet her gaze. A couple others are snickering. Someone else gives her a sympathetic nod. She’s cornered. Like a fucking animal put up for slaughter. Of course, that little bitch never told her the specifics. “He left. Plain and simple. Some of their other attacks have been without reason.”
“We can’t let them get away with this!” Another Private chimes in, arms spread wide. “I say Joohyun should bring back some Fireflies on a solo mission.”
“What’s it gotta do with me?” Joohyun asks. She remembers this asshole losing the last of their ration bars after getting jumped by a rebel. He didn’t have the balls to shoot in retaliation.
He opens his mouth but closes it shut when Corporal Yoon holds up a hand. “Until we have other evidence, you are involved. Solos are no longer allowed, but you need to fix what you did.”
Joohyun scoffs. “Oh, cool. Blame the person who got injured trying to neutralise a threat. All of you were on duty. Any one of you could’ve seen him sneak out.” Sure, she did set him free, but she definitely doesn’t care for their suspicious glares. He was as innocent as any ex-Firefly could be, hoping to find a different sort of life. People like that don’t deserve to die. Sympathies aren’t given but forged out of the same ideas.
“You didn’t have to dismiss the guard.” Seulgi shrugs a shoulder.
“Great idea! Next time we’ll force the kid to watch us disembowel a prisoner. Why don’t we initiate all of our news recruiters that way and save everyone else the trouble?”
“What I’m saying is that kid could’ve corroborated your account of what happened.”
Joohyun shuts up at Seulgi’s words. Leans back against the wall. Tapping the book against her thigh. Out of every person's disappointment and disbelief—Seulgi’s stings the most.
“No one’s asking you to disembowel a goddamn Firefly.” Corporal Yoon’s voice booms in the tiny room, which makes Joohyun roll her eyes. “It’s our duty to serve everyone inside this QZ and your disobedience emboldened those motherfucking terrorists to sneak inside. That ex-Firefly story could’ve been a ruse—to see how soft we’ve become. You basically supplied them with the ammo they used to shoot.”
Joohyun chews on her cheek, unwilling to back down. But—she isn’t stupid enough to disagree when the point is somewhat logical. In another world, she might’ve thought it through and mitigated the threat. They can’t really do anything to her unless she defects, and even then, there’s no point in sending a search party. “Sure, make me the bad guy. But you better treat those guards that let them sneak in the same.”
Silence stuns those in the room and she receives a few stares and lips twisted in contempt. Conversation changes to their plan—which people to send and which limited resource is allocated to whom. She’s given the task to bring back three or more Fireflies, alive and unharmed.
By the time dawn rolls around, Joohyun’s annoyed herself senseless.
FEDRA—rather uselessly ruthless and self-serving—should’ve opted for a more public show of power. This mission is a miscalculated shot in the dark. A reckless ambush right into the lion’s crooked maw. No one else except for Specialist Kim is issued a pistol and Joohyun vaguely wishes she had a bow and arrow set to ward off the way she feels utterly defenceless.
They go through their practised routine and make their way through the endless darkness towards a rumoured hideout outside of the QZ boundary. Only a mile or so away from a heavily guarded checkpoint. Flashlight off, it takes Joohyun about 5 minutes to recognise the shadowy blobs as abandoned vehicles and dilapidated buildings. She slides beside Seulgi, who is also quite obviously missing a gun.
“Hey,” Joohyun whispers. “Back in the meeting, you’d think I’d sprouted a clicker head the moment I suggested those guards be held accountable. I mean, they couldn’t stop the Fireflies from slipping through.” She gripes, squeezing her fingers to expel nervous energy. “I didn’t do shit. Why aren’t they getting punished?”
In the moonlight, she sees Seulgi scowl. “No one else was on duty at that time. The shift had just changed, and the others weren’t around.”
“Oh.”
They manoeuvre around the potholes and cracked pavement. Grass and roots break through asphalt. Someone stumbles in front of them and curses, mumbling about flashlights and stingy commanders.
“I’m not surprised you didn’t know. I don’t think you’d find out if I died on the field until someone mentions it in passing.”
A weight settles on her chest at the thought of losing Seulgi. Her only friend in a world where every day is a game of chance. Death stood at every corner. At the hands of Fireflies, hunters or rebels. Other options were thankfully cut when they were forbidden from being stationed inside spore-contaminated zones.
“I’d go out there and kill that motherfucker with my own hands,” Joohyun says. “I’d destroy them and their entire family. You’re out of your damn mind for thinking otherwise.”
Seulgi shrugs. They enter into a new neighbourhood, staying cloaked in the shadows. Joohyun does a quick glance for the glint of a sniper rifle until Seulgi says, “Yeah, well…”
“What?”
“You’ve been distant lately. After you came back from that raid.”
“Me? How?”
Seulgi shifts uneasily—shoulders hunched. “I don’t know. It’s like you’re not interested in FEDRA anymore.”
“Well.”
She looks at Joohyun, expression hidden behind the helmet. “In any case, it doesn’t matter. All you need to do is follow orders and do your job. Interest doesn’t play a role.” Joohyun scoffs and moves ahead to follow the group into an alleyway. But Seulgi pulls her back by her forearm. “You set him free, didn’t you. The Firefly.”
She pulls her arm out of the hold. “No.”
Someone motions at them to follow. Joohyun goes first and ducks behind a rotted heap of Jersey barriers. Seulgi right behind her. A man is sat outside a door, sprawled in a garden chair unfit for use. The bottom giving away and slumping. They must’ve thought no one would find them if there’s only one guard.
One of their Privates breaks off and stalks behind the man to choke him out.
“Did the guy really escape?” Seulgi puts a hand on her shoulder. “Or did you let him go?”
Joohyun rolls her shoulder in annoyance. “He disarmed me and got me in the stomach. You think I lied about that?”
“No.” They split off to check the parameter for traps and when she can’t find anything, Joohyun idly wonders if someone led them into a trap. Seulgi catches up to her and continues, “You didn’t check into the infirmary.” Joohyun stays quiet. Another Private is huddled next to Specialist Kim, probably going over their game plan. “One of the guys from the medical squad broke his leg before putting him in the cell. Feels kinda unbelievable that he overpowered you in that state.”
“Whatever you say.” Joohyun’s tone is dismissive.
“It’s just that—you could’ve gotten their plans out of him. You had the power to stop those guards from dying. Our people didn’t have to lose their lives.”
Guilt hits from all sides, despite Joohyun knowing with certainty that the ex-Firefly had no idea what his former allies were going to do.
This narrative that FEDRA is pushing at her is bitter and underhanded. She didn’t expect Seulgi to fall for it. She pushes past her as soon as Specialist Kim gives them directions to enter from various points.
The Fireflies are apparently squatting inside an unfinished apartment complex. One of the many construction projects brought to a halt during the outbreak. Seems like an odd choice—to Joohyun, at least. But it’s also extremely clever. Enemies aren’t going to consider you to be hidden in plain sight. Hidden inside such an unprotected and open area. Queen Firefly won’t be found here. That, Joohyun is sure of. She enters through the rebar frame and hoists herself up collapsed concrete into a hallway. Moonlight filters in through the back after a cloud passes over it. Unpainted walls, cracked cement, harsh and patchy. Empty widows, frames left abandoned. Walls hollowed out for doors that don’t exist.
Joohyun moves to the next floor, sticking to the edge of the stairs. In a flash, she catches a figure dart into a room at the end of the hall. Hands reflexively going to the empty holster. Her pocket knife hidden under the floorboards of her room.
“Fuck me.”
She squints as a flashlight careens into her eyes and away—it’s Seulgi. Who gives her a nod and walks into a room. Uninhabited, then. Figures.
Shining her own flashlight in a room, she steps inside. A makeshift kitchen greets her, cooking pot recently used. Canned food, some empty, some unopened. An oil lamp, possibly pillaged from an antique store, lies in a corner. Looking behind her, she stuffs the canned goods and other miscellaneous items in her backpack.
She joins the others, who’ve already tied two Fireflies in the middle of a room. Heads lolling, unconscious.
Okay, some asshole completed her job for this fucking mission.
As she's about to leave, Specialist Kim throws a gym bag at her. “Don’t come back until you’ve found the others. Loot whatever you find. Break their shit. Paint out name on these fucking walls. They should know we were here.”
Joohyun drops the spray paint cans from the bag out in the hallway. Anyone else can do that. She’s not a bloody lackey.
She does a perfunctory scan of this dismal setup. Heaves a sigh and puts in the bag whatever she finds lying around. Anything of importance, she stashes in her own backpack when no one’s looking. Joohyun assumes they’re on the 2nd or 3rd floor. Most of the rooms on the other end of the complex are collapsed, the structure unable to support nonexistent weight.
“I got all I found.” Joohyun drops the bag on the floor. Items jostle inside from the impact, making a violent noise. Specialist Kim’s eyes bug out for a second, and she kicks it closer to him.
“What about the others? Did you check everywhere?”
Joohyun shrugs. “Either they were tipped off or those two were the only ones around.”
His posture straightens instantly at a noise, eyes sharp and alert cut to Joohyun. “Well? He hisses, pistol already locked in his hands. “What d’you make of that?”
“Must’ve been a rat.”
There’s another noise, like the clattering of a can tossed on the floor. The entire group is in this room. Categorising supplies and recording field notes. “Everyone, stay here. You,” Specialist Kim points the gun at Joohyun, accusatory, “come with me.”
Joohyun glances at Seulgi for a quick moment, only to find her already watching. Expression flat.
She trails behind Specialist Kim. He pivots into every room, gun brandished with a flair. A canister lies undetonated in one of the rooms where half of the floor has collapsed. It’s probably a makeshift stun grenade. He kicks it into the hole, assuming whoever threw it is below them, and leans in to see. Joohyun looks at the closet stacked in a corner and stays outside the room’s boundary. No weapon means she will not defend Specialist Kim’s ass in case of danger.
In another instant, a blur emerges from the closet and catches him off guard. She thinks she sees the glint of a knife, but before she can even blink—Specialist Kim has already disarmed the attacker.
Joohyun points her flashlight at them. The attacker is sprawled on the floor, one arm twisted behind by Specialist Kim. She notices that the attacker is small, probably no more than fifteen. He’s a goddamn kid. This must’ve been his first time ambushing a FEDRA officer. Specialist Kim’s knee digs into his back. Gun pointed at the kid's head.
Earlier—to pass the time, she’d read Crime and Punishment. Lying in bed, revolved at the beating of a mare. Now, she finds herself in the shoes of seven year old Raskolnikov, aware of what’s about to happen. Yet powerless to stop it.
“Hey, hey!” Joohyun interrupts the action. “You don’t have to shoot.”
He looks up at her, teeth barred behind the helmet. “Why? What d’you want me to do, Private Bae?”
Joohyun grits her teeth. He’s going to pull rank? “He’s a kid. We can take him back with the others.” She refrains from correcting Private to Private First Class. Was promoted ages ago. She could’ve been Specialist Bae had she cared enough.
“This little kid…” To emphasise, Specialist Kim twists the kid’s arm further back and it only elicits a garbled grunt. “He slashed me in the fucking arm.” His forearm is cut and blood drops ever so lightly into his gloved hand. “You’ve got no right telling me what to do. You bullshitted your way through this entire mission. You couldn’t even do your damn job!”
Before Joohyun can reply, Seulgi barges in. “What the hell’s going on?”
Specialist Kim pauses. Loosening his grip on the kid’s arm. Joohyun frowns, the bastard is afraid news of his behaviour will reach Seulgi’s dad and that might delay his promotion. Her hands itch to hit him. Preferably across the face. “I was attacked,” he says, trying to keep his voice even. “I’m merely defending myself.”
“He was about to shoot the kid.” Joohyun adds.
“Which neither of you can stop me from doing. We are authorised to shoot Fireflies on sight.”
“Not this time.” Seulgi steps closer. “If you’ve forgotten our orders, let me remind you. Bring them back alive.”
“What’s it to anyone if we get one in combat?”
Joohyun rolls her eyes, stepping in carefully to push his hand aside. Gun now pointed at the floor. His eyes are animalistic. She meets his gaze and raises a brow. Egging him to shoot. “Well? C’mon, do it.”
“Joohyun.” She hears Seulgi say her name like a warning.
“No, he’s a big boy. Or are you going back on your word?”
Let him shoot. She’ll make sure everyone finds out Specialist Kim didn’t follow simple orders.
He sneers, pushing himself away. Hauling the kid up, he grabs his other arm—twisting it hard enough that the kid’s knee gives in. “Why the fuck are you still assigned to missions, anyway?” He turns to Seulgi. “Everybody knows those Fireflies killed our people ‘cause of your friend.” He nods at Joohyun, holstering his gun. “I can’t believe you still feel sympathy for these terrorists for what they did to you. Did they convert you? Are you one of them now?”
“Oh, yeah. They recruited me like, years ago. Took you aeons to catch on. Does that brain of yours even clock in for duty?”
He looks like he’s about to lunge when Seulgi steps in between them. “This isn’t the time to hash out your petty shit.” She yanks the kid from him and places restraints on his wrists—hands gentle despite the anger in her posture. The kid doesn’t retaliate, or speak. He seems okay with the inevitable. “I was explicitly told by First Lt Kang to avoid any bloodshed. I’m not about to let that happen ‘cause you’re feeling a little emasculated.”
His breath comes out ragged. “I'm gonna put this in the report.”
Joohyun rolls her eyes. “You better.”
“Shut up, both of you. We should leave before they get reinforcements.”
As they’re carting the prisoners back to their headquarters, Joohyun is oddly conflicted. This doesn’t feel right. Nothing feels right anymore.
The sun is peeking out from behind patchy clouds. Sky bleeding a horrible pink. Seulgi slides in next to her. “Joohyun.” When she doesn’t respond, Seulgi continues, “Joohyun. I don’t want you doing these things anymore.”
“What things?” She snaps. “I shouldn’t stop assholes like him from taking an innocent person's life?”
“That isn’t any of our business.”
“No? Why’d you stop him from coming after me?”
Seulgi sighs, shaking her head. Rubs her forehead. “I don’t wanna talk about this right now.”
Joohyun puts out her hand to stop Seulgi. “I think we need to talk about these things. It’s important. What’s the point of whatever we do when we’re no different than the ones we’re fighting against?”
Seulgi pushes past her, not bothering to defend FEDRA’s decisions. Joining the others at the front, leaving Joohyun behind.