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Dan Heng glanced up at Blade as he sipped his iced peach tea through the straw, and sure enough Blade was looking back at him, his burning gaze as unwavering as always. Dan Heng swallowed, quickly breaking eye contact as he felt heat rushing to his face. It felt almost wrong, simply sitting quietly at a table together without blades being crossed, without the rush of adrenaline that came from the fear of being killed that Dan Heng had grown frightfully accustomed to whenever he encountered Blade in the past.
He could feel the amused gazes of Kafka and March drilling into the back of his head from a few tables away, as he could faintly hear them giggling between themselves while Silver Wolf and Stelle played a mobile game together, both of them tapping way too vigorously at their phones. Sure, they had established an alliance of sorts with the Stellaron Hunters ever since the incident upon the Xianzhou Luofu, but this…? This was not what Dan Heng had expected would come of it.
Blade moved, making Dan Heng stiffen. Blade paused for a moment, obviously in response to Dan Heng getting startled, but made no comment. He only let out a small sigh, and reached for the pot of sugar on the side before he dumped out an unceremoniously obscene amount of it into his black coffee. Dan Heng almost choked on his tea.
“Isn’t that too much?” He exclaimed, staring incredulously as Blade continued as if he hadn’t said anything, stirring the sugar into the still-hot coffee to ensure it all dissolved.
“No.” Was all Blade said in response, with an expression of utter blankness, as he picked up his cup and took a small sip. He paused, glancing over at the sugar pot again, almost as if considering adding more. Dan Heng’s jaw dropped at the thought.
“...I didn’t know you liked your coffee so sweet.” He said, carelessly. Blade’s gaze turned back up at him.
“There’s a lot you don’t know.” He stated plainly as he took another sip, closing his eyes as he did. But though his words were blunt, Dan Heng was surprised to find no real hostility in his tone. Still…that same lack of hostility left a hollow feeling in his chest, and he couldn’t help but frown. He set down his own drink, wondering what to say.
Blade’s sigh cut through his thoughts, and Dan Heng tensed, waiting for Blade to say something. He couldn’t hear March or Kafka giggling anymore, and could only wonder what their audience was thinking watching them right then.
“You should calm down,” Blade said, “I already told you, things are different now. But you don’t have to force yourself just because Kafka and your friends thought it would be entertaining.”
“That’s not…” Dan Heng started, but Blade gave him a look, and his words trailed off.
“No?” Blade questioned, “Then what?”
He asked it so calmly, it made Dan Heng feel somewhat irritated.
“What do you think?” He said pointedly, folding his arms across his chest, “It just feels all too strange…we spent so many years trying to kill each other, but after one short truce and you ignoring me for so long after all that happened on the Xianzhou…we’re now just sitting together having tea in a public cafe on a new planet. Quite ridiculous, is it not?”
“I suppose it is,” Blade agreed nonchalantly, too much for Dan Heng’s liking. Blade didn’t say anything else, so Dan Heng just picked his drink back up and finished it. The cool drink was nice at least.
Dan Heng didn’t want to be difficult, especially given that the alliance they had with the Stellaron Hunters had proven to be a good decision for both parties, and Blade seemed to be fine so far. But it made Dan Heng feel like he was the only one still bothered by the whole thing. Even Welt and Himeko had warmed up to the idea recently, though they were still cautious. It made him feel almost stupid for it.
Blade suddenly set down his cup, his horrendously sugary coffee having been completely drained, much to Dan Heng’s dismay. Blade then stood from his seat, looking down imposingly at Dan Heng.
“You’re done? Come with me.” He said firmly, before he started to leave the cafe on his own. Dan Heng, taken aback, got up to go after him almost on instinct.
“Hey wait, we haven’t…!” He called, but Kafka suddenly yelled at them from behind.
“I’ll cover your tab~!” She called in a loud singsong voice laced with sickly sweetness as she waved cheerily at them, “Have fun on your date, Bladie! HengHeng!”
March let out a laugh at the nickname, seeming so carefree about it. Dan Heng couldn’t help feeling slightly betrayed, but somehow also comforted. March may be too trusting at times, but if she wasn’t even the slightest bit worried about him, despite their previous encounters, she must have truly felt like Dan Heng was in no danger.
With how surprisingly often Stelle and March ended up spending with Kafka since they made their alliance, Dan Heng wouldn’t be too surprised if they had all planned something from the start, especially given Blade’s earlier comment. Was he in on whatever plan they had then?
Silver Wolf let out a loud curse at Stelle as Stelle jumped out of her chair in cocky triumph, just as Dan Heng stepped through the doors of the cafe, and he decided it was probably better to just go along with Blade then deal with that inevitable chaos.
Blade was waiting for him, but started walking as soon as Dan Heng caught up to him. His expression remained blank for the most part as always, but he kept his pace even and his strides small so Dan Heng had no trouble staying beside him. It felt strange, but it certainly was better than fighting each other on sight at least. Dan Heng wouldn’t complain if he got used to this.
It was still quite…messy to think about what his relationship with Blade really was. After his memories as Dan Feng fully returned to him that day on the Luofu, it was difficult to reconcile the image of that gentle, short-lived man who Dan Feng loved with the current version of Blade Dan Heng knew. Knowing of Dan Feng’s sins was one thing, but knowing his reasons had been another, and it had been difficult for Dan Heng to process those reasons and feelings. He knew it had to be hard for Blade too, given how badly the man had broken down after finally being forced to accept that Dan Feng was no more.
Dan Heng didn’t know how they’d calmed him down after Kafka took him back to the Stellaron Hunters, but he’d been distant with Dan Heng ever since. Suddenly going from that to having a drink and then a walk together separate from the others was…something. But if anyone asked, Dan Heng wouldn’t be able to tell them what he was feeling. He still just wasn’t sure yet.
Blade took him to a library in the town they were in, much to his surprise. Dan Heng was amazed at the vast collection just from what he could see upon entering, with newer tech along the walls and desks for users to access. There were holograms of staff members helping people find their way, but also staff members hurrying about in-person with tidying up the physical books and materials all around. But Blade didn’t stop for any of those, and instead led Dan Heng to a section further into the building in the back of the upper floor, which made Dan Heng’s eyes widen in surprise.
The hall to the back section led to a massive, old-fashioned Xianzhou-styled room that smelled of polished wood, papers, and ink. A giant bay window with a comfortable looking rosewood bench with silken cushions was essentially the entire back wall, displaying the exquisite view of the back garden of the library and the parts of the town beyond. A study desk sat in the middle of the room with an unlit incense burner and lanterns. The rest of the room were built-in wooden shelves of old books and scrolls, and a standing shelf filled with empty notebooks, pots of traditional ink, and clean calligraphy brushes. A sign hanging on this shelf stated that the items were free to use and take home, as long as the guests registered the items used and taken before leaving the library.
“This…This is…” Dan Heng could not help but feel so utterly awed by the study room. Sure, it could not compete with the sheer majesty of actual Xianzhou libraries, especially those from the Realm-Keeping Commission, built from centuries and centuries of carefully organized records, but Dan Heng had never gotten to see any of those outside his memories of Dan Feng. The design of the room in front of him was extremely authentic and he could tell the room had had a lot of care put into maintaining the history and culture of the faraway planet.
“This library is very well-known on this world.” Blade told him, still sounding so nonchalant about everything as he turned to Dan Heng, still keeping his expression neutral as he watched him carefully, “They have many dedicated rooms to different other planets as part of the interplanetary peace act, and it has helped encourage many to explore those different worlds in much more traditional ways.”
“How did you find out about this?” Dan Heng asked, still in a state of awe and surprise, “And…why did you take me here?”
“Silver Wolf helped me find this place, and…” Blade looked away, seeming uncomfortable for the first time since they’d met up that day. Dan Heng frowned, confused. Was…Was Blade… nervous?
Blade let out a sigh, shaking his head as he addressed Dan Heng again. “Your friends…they tell me you like to read in your spare time, and record things in the Express Data Bank when you can. I…figured you might like to try doing so with harder to find digital materials.”
“So…you did plan for all this with the others.” Dan Heng said. It wasn’t a question, and Blade didn’t need to answer, but…
“Why…?”
Blade tensed slightly, not meeting Dan Heng’s eyes. He didn’t immediately reply, but he also didn’t turn away and try to escape. It was strange, seeing him in the more vulnerable position between the two of them. It almost seemed like Blade was scared, and Dan Heng…found that he didn’t like the thought of that.
He took a step closer to Blade, looking up at him silently and crossing his arms. “...Did Dan Feng like these kinds of things as well?”
Blade’s eyes widened, and he looked back at Dan Heng. The look in his eyes were complicated, like they were mixed with confusion and anger but also with sadness and fear. Dan Heng immediately felt bad about asking.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” he started, but trailed off. He wasn’t even quite sure what he meant to do. But Blade put a hand to his own face as he looked away again, letting out another deep sigh.
“He did.” Blade admitted, avoiding making eye contact as he dropped his hand, running his fingers along the edge of the study desk. “Dan Feng…used to say it was one of the only things that brought him comfort before…everything else. But…Dan Feng isn’t the reason why I brought you here.”
His hand was trembling. Dan Heng…didn’t like that he was trembling like that. But he waited. Waited for Blade to explain at his own pace. Dan Heng’s heart had begun to race, and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.
Blade finally looked back at him. There was a pain in his eyes, pain that Dan Heng remembered from that day…when he had no choice but to insist that Dan Feng was truly gone. Of course Blade missed Dan Feng, they had been so special to each other. But Blade said he didn’t bring Dan Heng here because of Dan Feng. So why…
“Dan Heng,” Blade spoke slowly. Dan Heng couldn’t help but tense with the way his name was spoken. It was not the first time Blade called him by his name, but it was certainly the first time it felt sincere . It was…strange.
Blade shook his head, as if to clear his mind before meeting Dan Heng’s gaze again.
“Dan Heng," he said again, slower but more purposefully, "you can…tell me to leave you alone if this makes you uncomfortable. But…I want…to learn more about you. I…want to know the person you are now, and leave everything else behind.”
Dan Heng felt his heart twist, not having expected that. Was…Was this really the Blade he knew? “You…what…?”
“I know this is…difficult to understand,” Blade said, his hand coming up as if he wanted to reach for Dan Heng, but stopped himself, clenched his fist and dropped his hand back to the side. But he didn’t look away. “Even I think…this is a very extreme change for me. Maybe it’s due to the Mara being quelled after so long, or…something else. None of us are really sure. I just…Maybe I just realized there wasn’t a point to it all anymore.”
“...Maybe not.” Dan Heng could only say that in reply. He looked back up, around the room, partly in an attempt to just end the awkward conversation. He wasn't sure what to say, or even what to think. It was a good thing, right? Blade wasn't hunting him anymore, and wasn't trying to force him to be Dan Feng. Dan Heng had hoped for this outcome for so long, and yet it felt…so strange.
"I can leave if you want," Blade said, clearly noticing Dan Heng’s unease, "I'll get your friends to pick you up later if…"
"N-No, it's alright," Dan Heng found himself saying. It was hard to read Blade’s reaction when he did, but he at least seemed surprised. Dan Heng briefly thought about how Blade tried to reach for him earlier, and thus glanced down at the other man's hand. He reached for it, experimentally poking at Blade’s bandages with a single finger as he looked back up. Blade didn't resist, but the surprise seemed to have become slightly more evident.
"You're the one who set this up, and…there's a lot of material to choose from. Why not…help me decide?"
Dan Heng couldn't help feeling awkwardly shy. He wasn't sure if Dan Feng’s lingering feelings were still in him, or if it was something else that still drew him to Blade even despite their bloody history. But either way, Dan Heng wanted things to be better between them, whatever it may mean, and he knew it had to have been hard for Blade to do all this. Dan Heng wanted to at least respect that.
Blade's hand moved, still slightly trembling, and Dan Heng let him take his own with a tenderness he never thought would associate with Blade. He looked up at the man, at his vermillion eyes, wondering if the past versions of them would do things like that, the blurriness of Dan Feng’s memories still dancing along the edges of his consciousness.
Almost comically, Dan Heng wondered if that ridiculous amount of sugar Blade had downed earlier was due to the man secretly being a lot sweeter than he let on. He couldn't stop the upwards tilt of his lips at the thought.
"Is something funny?" Blade asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Isn't this whole thing rather funny?" Dan Heng replied, shaking his head. "Kafka called it a date as a joke but…it really does almost feel like how I'd imagine two young people on a first date, even though things were…very different not too long ago."
Blade gave a nervous grimace, but his cheeks were dusted with pink. "Kafka’s too easily amused by the idea. You don't have to think of it that way."
"Okay," Dan Heng said, "Well, shall we look around?"
Blade sighed, but he nodded, the faintest ghost of a smile on his lips.
Hours and hours rolled by, and Dan Heng had found himself caught up in all the information he got to look through and record. Blade had picked out a few titles and authors for him after they'd decided to settle on the topic of old customs that Dan Heng knew from his past memories but didn't quite understand. One topic led to another as several stacks of books and papers began to form on the study desk.
At one point, Dan Heng decided to try one of the older styles of calligraphy, which Blade had pointed out to him in one of the books on the cultural arts. It turned out to be harder than expected, and Blade had been watching over Dan Heng’s shoulder. After a fifth failed attempt, Blade had reached over without thinking, intent on putting his hand on Dan Heng’s and guiding the brush with him. They'd both stopped, awkwardly staring at each other, and Blade pulled away muttering "sorry". They both silently agreed that it was still too soon for such casual intimacy, but aside from Blade’s word of apology, they exchanged no further words after that. Blade had picked up a random book from the shelf and retreated to the rosewood bench by the window, giving Dan Heng some space.
Dan Heng, however, found himself hiding his own face when Blade wasn't looking, not wanting to acknowledge the steady increased pace of his heartbeat.
He decided he was done with attempting to copy the highly intricate characters of old Xianzhou texts anyway.
Dan Heng looked through the shelves after cleaning up the calligraphy set, which he supposed would be properly cleaned by the staff later, avoiding glancing at Blade for the time being. After a minute of looking, he paused, noticing a book on Xianzhou fairy tales. He pulled it off the shelf, and sure enough, it was a copy of the same book he had once read when he was still a youth, given only a few materials to entertain himself with, back in the confines of the Shackling Prison. He frowned, but sat down with the book and flipped to the middle, where he vaguely remembered his favourite story was.
It was a silly, sad little tale, of a short-lived man who accidentally stole the pearl of a young dragon, which led the young dragon to stay with the man until he could retrieve his pearl, but ended up staying until the man’s death of old age even after he had retrieved his pearl due to having fallen in love.
Dan Heng wondered if he liked the tale because of Dan Feng.
How strange. It felt so easy now…to think about Dan Feng and how he was the person Dan Heng used to be.
Dan Heng glanced over to where Blade was again, and blinked. Blade was leaning against the window frame, propping his head up with his arm as the other arm lay on his stomach, still holding the book he had grabbed, but it was as clear as day that he was asleep.
That certainly was not a sight Dan Heng expected to see, it hadn’t even been that long since they stopped paying attention to each other. Had things gotten too boring for Blade, or had he secretly been tired the whole time? Dan Heng set the fairy tale book down, quietly standing and stepping over to Blade. The Stellaron Hunter’s sleeping face was a strange sight, his hair falling lightly in front of his eyes as he dozed.
It was the calmest Dan Heng had ever seen him. His heart skipped a beat as he stared for a moment longer.
The book was slipping from Blade’s hand, so Dan Heng reached over to take it, but as he did, Blade shifted, blinking as he seemed to start waking. He looked over at Dan Heng groggily, and before Dan Heng could even say a word, Blade let the book fall to the floor as he clumsily grabbed Dan Heng’s wrist, pulling him close and holding Dan Heng’s head to his chest close to his neck as he seemed to fall back asleep.
It took every last ounce of Dan Heng’s self control to keep himself from screaming and jumping away at the shock and embarrassment of the situation, for some reason not wanting to wake Blade up again.
“Hmm…Dan Heng, don’t move…” Blade’s words came out in a low hum, and Dan Heng felt the heat rush to his face upon feeling the reverb of Blade’s voice right by his ear. They were so close, albeit in a rather uncomfortable position for Dan Heng, but he could hear his own heart going crazy as he wondered how he got himself into such a position at all.
…Then, he realized he could also hear Blade’s heartbeat.
Dan Heng almost stopped breathing, wanting to hear more of it, almost instinctively. Blade’s chest rose and fell slowly but surely, his heart beat going only slightly faster. The rhythm of it was familiar and intimate, very much likely due to those lost memories, but it was also…very comforting.
Dan Heng couldn’t stop himself, he reached up with his free arm, returning the embrace awkwardly. As he did, Blade shifted again, pulling Dan Heng along and it ended up with Dan Heng’s back against the glass of the window. He felt more heat rush to his face as he looked up at Blade, the man still sleeping so peacefully. It seemed like they were both more comfortable now, being so close on the bench, even though they’d seemed to distance themselves just a little while ago over the calligraphy graph.
Nothing between them was ever going to be normal, was it? But Dan Heng…couldn’t say he disliked this. Maybe something was wrong with him, or maybe it was just Dan Feng lingering love for the man Blade used to be. Whatever it was though, Dan Heng found himself not wanting to reject it.
He sighed, leaning into Blade a little bit more of his own accord. He inhaled Blade’s scent, held him close, and listened to his heartbeat more. He still…wasn’t quite sure if what he felt for Blade was love, at least not in the way it once had been between their past selves. But now…he felt safe with Blade. How strange.
“Mmm…” Blade hummed again, leaning his head into Dan Heng’s as he pulled him even closer. Dan Heng felt warm. He felt comfortable. He felt safe.
Maybe whatever it was between him and Blade didn’t need to be named. He liked this. At least for now.
“...Rest well Blade.” Dan Heng whispered, as he let himself slowly drift off too.
“They’re three hours late. The library will be closing soon.” Stelle said blankly, Silver Wolf on her back as the youngest Stellaron Hunter had all but dozed after demanding rematch after rematch with Stelle earlier.
Kafka hummed as they slowly walked towards the library, flipping through her phone, looking forward to the sight Elio was describing to her in his texts. “It’s fine, I’m sure they’re having a nice little time together. Just make sure Silver Wolf doesn’t wake up until after we pick them up.”
“Hng…shut up Kafka…” Silver Wolf grumbled in her half-asleep state, arms tightening around Stelle’s shoulders, almost causing her to stumble.
“You know, you could’ve just let her win one round.” March pointed out. Kafka glanced back, amusement sparking when she saw the deadpan expression Stelle returned her fellow Astral Expresser.
“March,” Stelle said, firmly and with far too much seriousness, “You know not the true trials of war upon the digital battlefield.”
“...Did you eat something weird when I wasn’t looking?” March questioned, looking almost horrified. Kafka put a hand to her lips, chuckling to herself as they arrived at the library. She left her three companions outside while she went in to fetch those two soon-to-be lovebirds, humming as she made her way down the hall.
Kafka poked her head into the Xianzhou study room, giggling as the took in the sight before her. Under the light of the setting sun coming in through the windows, Blade held Dan Heng so gently and lovingly in his arms, his lips in his hair and Dan Heng’s face buried in his chest.
“Sorry for the blackmail material Bladie~!” Kafka whispered through her quiet giggles, snapping a few photos on her phone of the two cuties before she finally moved to wake them up.