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He said soon, so he must have meant it. But, how soon is soon? It’s already been months… I got it! I’ll wait until it rains. Rain never happens in the Slums. If it rains, that means it’s past “soon.”
Aerith had fallen hard for Zack. Her mother had noticed how much more time she spent outside of the cottage, and the new hair accessory she sported every day since she came home with it. And of course she noticed the heavily applied fragrance she started wearing as well. “Goodness, Aerith! What is that smell? You put on too much of that.” There were a lot of things about Aerith that were different from before. It reminded Elmyra of herself when she first met her husband. She knew immediately what it was, that Aerith had fallen in love.
Finding someone special enough like that was hard for a girl like Aerith. After suffering her entire childhood and being watched at all times, it was hard for anyone to get close enough to her in the first place. She always smiled and insisted she was alright, but Elmyra knew better. Aerith inside was a lonely girl, who longed to have friends more than anyone she knew.
Despite her loneliness and how she was excluded a bit from most of the others in Sector 5, Aerith always stayed friendly and polite. If you didn’t know her very well, you would think she was a more quiet, introverted girl. Elmyra practically was having her ear talked off every day. Even if Aerith didn’t leave the cottage that day, she never found herself short of conversation topics. There was always something that caught her eye, whether it was the new doctor, what game the kids seem to be playing, programs they watched on the small TV, or how Aerith miraculously was able to trim all the plants and tend to the gardens when Elmyra couldn’t keep a single bug from coming back into the house. Elmyra loved the company of her adopted daughter, but she still worried about her. It’s natural for everyone to want to build companionship. Aerith needed someone besides her mom to talk to. So, upon the tiny hints and small changes to Aerith’s habits and personality, Elmyra was happy to see her daughter find someone she could enjoy spending time with.
That’s why it broke her heart to see her spirits slowly dampen over time.
Aerith didn’t tell Elmyra too much about this mystery boy she was always seeing, but she knew he was in SOLDIER and that he was often busy with work. Her late husband was the same, especially after he got transferred to Wutai for a contracting project. She observed that Aerith wouldn’t have the same extra pep for a short while between the days she was gone until the evening, but she would always rebound back into her cheerful self after a few weeks at most. This time, the stares out of the cottage windows lingered longer and longer as the days passed. Aerith’s facade would almost crack for a few moments as she peered beyond Petal Lane, only for her to put a smile back on her face once she would speak to Elmyra again. Elmyra started to worry about Aerith as the calendar kept checking off days. Once it got to a month, Elmyra decided to poke at the hornet’s nest.
“Did he say how long he would be gone?” she asked her daughter.
Aerith shook her head. “He just said for ‘a while,’” she quoted. “But, he promised he would visit soon! It was hard to get a call through. I think he’s in some backwater town far away where service is really spotty. I’m sure I’ll hear back soon!”
Elmyra knew that Aerith wasn’t a naïve girl, but her optimism wasn’t foolproof. She wasn’t sure how to even start having a heart-to-heart with her about what she should prepare herself for. Nobody wants to think about the worst. It seemed like it wasn’t even that long ago that Elmyra dealt with the same thing herself. Aerith was already worried enough, no matter how much she tried to convince Elmyra she wasn’t. She decided to humor her a bit.
“Well, tell him I expect to finally meet him when you get a hold of him again. I think it’s about time I meet your SOLDIER boy. It’s already been several months since you’ve been staying out later than usual to spend more time with him.”
Aerith blushed, hiding her redness behind a giggle. “I will! I’ve been telling him about your cooking!”
Elmyra laughed at that. “Dinner it is, then.”
A month passed since that conversation, and Aerith still never gained back that same joy she obtained before. Her hair still adorned that pink ribbon, and she started wearing nearly exclusively pink not long after that last visit she had with that boy. None of this was lost on Elmyra, but she still didn’t feel well seeing Aerith keep hope up like this.
“Still nothing?” she asked one night as Aerith helped her prepare for dinner.
Aerith just shook her head, not saying a word.
Elmyra set her utensils down, turning her body towards Aerith’s. “Aerith, dear, I really don’t like how he hasn’t contacted you in so long. Maybe you should-“
“I’ve been writing to him,” she interrupted, her eyes still not meeting her mother’s. “I’m not sure where he got sent to work, so I just gave it to Tseng. He’ll know where they can go so he can get them.”
Elmyra sputtered, trying to find words on how to have this conversation with Aerith. “And how do you know he’ll write back? After all this time, and he can’t call or send an e-mail? Can you trust him?”
“Of course I can!” Aerith insisted. “He’s just busy, and far away…”
“Aerith, come on now. How do you even know he’s still out there?”
Hearing that, Aerith froze, her grip on the vegetables she was chopping tightening. Suddenly, she turned her head quickly to face Elmyra, looking her in the eye. At that moment, Elmyra fully realized how serious Aerith was. Her eyes were intense, but vulnerable. It was a look she never saw before, but she knew exactly what they were saying.
“Because … I can feel him.”
Few people would understand Aerith at this moment, but Elmyra knew exactly what she meant. She nodded, going back to preparing their meal for the evening. “All right, then,” she said. Their night was silent after that.
Since that night, Aerith spent more time in her room. Whenever she did leave, it was always with a letter and a basket in hand. It became more and more common for Aerith to not even face Elmyra while she shouted that she was leaving for the day. On those days, she would be gone until just before sundown, spending all of her time in the church. Lately, she hadn’t felt like it was worth it to go around the slums. The flower cart had a broken wheel, and Aerith felt like only Zack could fix it. He should’ve taken more care to make it better so it wouldn’t fall apart on me. I won’t use it until he fixes it! When he comes back, this is the first thing I’m having him do.
But when would he be back?
She managed to start selling a bit more flowers around Sector 5. Aerith did think of starting to expand her business to the other sectors, but she needed to invest in better footwear. Her sandals could only get her so far, and any shoes Elmyra would let her borrow were too big to wear. Traveling with bad footwear and low stock would waste too much energy. Maybe she could at least try and go a sector over for fresh customers and gather enough funds to snag herself a pair of boots. But then again, her wagon was broken …
Where are you, Zack?
Kneeling before the flowerbed in the church, Aerith started to talk to them. She needed to talk to somebody, but the only person she wanted to talk to was gone…
“Zack still hasn’t come back. No calls, either. I’m starting to get worried. But, he said he would visit soon. He promised me. Zack wouldn’t break our promise. I don’t know what he’s doing, though. I hope he’s doing okay …”
The flowers stayed still, not giving Aerith any comfort that she was desperate to find anywhere she could.
“My mom is worried about me,” Aerith continues, wrapping her arms around her knees. “She pretends she’s mad, but I know she just doesn’t want me to be sad. But she doesn’t need to be mad, he said soon, so he must have meant it.”
“But, how soon is soon?” Aerith asked the flowers, maybe even herself. “It’s already been months…” She shrunk down in her spot, feeling small and pathetic, as if the flowers were judging her for still thinking “soon” hasn’t come and gone by now. Her eyes avoided them, drifting up towards the hole where he fell through and into her life.
“I got it!” she exclaimed, her face brightening for the first time in weeks due to her newly returned smile. “I’ll wait until it rains. Rain never happens in the Slums,” she explained to the flowers at her feet, so they could follow her reasoning. “If it rains, that means it’s past ‘soon.’”
Finally getting some motivation, Aerith gathered some flowers and headed over to Main Street. She needed new boots, after all! No sense in waiting for rain now.
From that day, Aerith gained some temporary hope. Her relationship with Elmyra wasn’t as distant anymore, and she still fought back whenever Elmyra insisted that Zack wasn’t the one for her. The fights were never serious, of course, but Aerith had faith. Elmyra hadn’t met Zack yet, so she didn’t know how great he was, and how he always did his best to make time to hang out with Aerith in between shifts. Just this time his shift ended up being months long. But he would be back soon, it still hadn’t rained yet.
Even more months passed, and a new year had started. It was coming up on a year since Zack left for his job. Aerith didn’t falter yet. Sure, she was growing a bit more worried, but she kept writing her letters. Maybe his job was just having some hiccups. Stuff like this happens often. Shinra kept him busy while he was still in Midgar, it was probably similar stuff wherever he was right now. But even as the weather got more bitter and crisp, rain never fell.
Aerith got a bit too obsessed with checking the weather for a while. After her birthday passed and spring came around, her flowers blossomed a bit better than they had the season before. Still no rain. Still had hope. Zack surely would come visit. He promised her. She believed him.
After a while, Aerith’s hope faded and it became anxiety. She would check the weather by the television and also by poking her head out of her bedroom window every morning. Over time, the lack of rain became less and less of a relief, and more of a weight hanging on her shoulders. The news would make it seem like the SOLDIER employees all came back. It had already been well over two years since Sephiroth, the war hero, died in an accident. But there still was no sign of Zack. Surely if he died, too, Aerith would have been told about it by now. Yet, she didn’t get any kind of notice. Not knowing for sure either way, Aerith felt she was always just below water, close to the surface, but still not able to breathe fully. Where could he be? She missed him a lot, and she still wanted to see him again. But, could she even be certain he wanted to see her again? If he did, he would’ve come around by now, wouldn’t he?
Aerith decided not to think about it. Thinking about it would only make her upset. She had work to do. And rain still never came.
The months started to blur together. Every day Aerith still checked the weather, and each time there was no rain, she was left unsurprised. What was she expecting at this point? Rain never came to the slums, just like Zack wasn’t coming back at this point. She still wrote to him, hoping for some kind of response. As much as she tried to get over him, she still held on to the tiniest bit of hope. Maybe this hope was doing more harm than good to her, since she still wasn’t back to her old self. I’ll write five more letters, she told herself. If there’s still no response, I’ll stop.
Even with a promise like that, Aerith still couldn’t bring herself to write more letters. Wearing her ribbon, her pink dress, carrying around her flowers, and checking for weather reports every day had become her routine. This was her life. And she was afraid of what it would be if she let go of any part of it. So, she still checked for rain. At this point, she wasn’t sure if she wanted it to come or not. Rain coming meant he wasn’t coming back, but a small part of Aerith already believed that without the rain.
Another eight months passed, and Aerith was finished. Her final letter had been written. There was still no rain. Waiting around for something, or someone, that would never come around would only stunt her life. How was she supposed to grow if she only stayed still? So, after a long night of overthinking in her bed while staring at the moon, crying her eyes out for the entire night without a wink of sleep, Aerith sat at her desk as the sun rose to write her goodbye.
Frankly, Aerith didn’t think she could ever forget Zack even if she wanted to. The days they spent together, and the few dates they did go on meant so much to her. She truly felt understood and accepted by Zack. Despite this relationship not working out the way she hoped, she was thankful for the time she shared with him, and did not regret anything. Zack was her first love. Nobody forgets their first love. But, she had to step forward, with or without rain.
A year passed, and Aerith since added a choker to her accessory collection. She wore it daily to remind herself of how she couldn’t sit around and wait for life to happen, she needed to be proactive and make her life rich herself. So, in that year, Aerith started traveling to every slum she could get her two feet to take her to. Her flowers were spreading everywhere. The entire city was full of her plants! Never in a million years did she think flowers would be seen across Midgar the way they are now. Due to the increased demand, Aerith spent a larger amount of her time in the church raising the garden she cared for all these years. Her new daily routine has become so second nature, that she didn’t even have to think about it, everything she did came naturally. Which is why it came as a shock to her when she felt something wet drop on her head.
No..
There’s no way.
Aerith quickly got up, moving out of the flowerbed to look into the sky better from inside the church. There really was rain in Midgar.
Could it be?
Clasping her hands together, Aerith closed her eyes. She searched and searched, trying to find anything out there. The rain was falling for a reason, and she had to find that reason. Only, as soon as she found that presence, did it leave as quickly.
It was Zack. He was gone.
The rain continued to fall, and Aerith couldn’t stand to be in the church. Not here, not now. She needed to be anywhere but here, anywhere else than where she met him. Not knowing where else to go, she bolted straight home, her boots kicking up mud as she ran, the bottom few inches on her dress collecting more from the lack of grass or hard pavement the slums had. Everything was turning to mush, becoming ruined, exactly like her heart.
Aerith ran and ran and ran, not stopping even when she bumped into people, other residents who were also astounded by the rain. She kept going until she reached her street, running up the pathway and across the bridge until she finally slammed open the door. The sudden loud noise made Elmyra jump, having barely even noticed the rain herself since she was cleaning in the middle of the dining room. Upon seeing Aerith’s wet face, a mix of tears and raindrops, her instinct was to run over to her daughter and hold her tight. She might not understand what caused this, but she knows what she needed to do to fix it.
“Mom,” Aerith croaked out, her voice muffled by Elmyra’s blouse. “He really isn’t coming home for dinner.”