Chapter Text
Reincarnation, Casval Char Rem Deikun thinks, does not operate on logic.
Realistically, he should not be here. If he learnt anything on the subject in school, it was that there was a form of karmic justice in reincarnation. I am well aware of my crimes, he thought when he was younger, shouldn't I be suffering? Shouldn't I be a bug or some long-suffering child?
(He could be, he supposes. Or could have been. His previous life seems to have happened in the far, far future--he vaguely remembers reading about this time in history books. Time does not seem to be an issue.)
(These thoughts lead to a surprisingly long phase in his early teens: looking wistfully at bugs, thinking, that could be me. Truly, would anyone love him if he was a worm?)
He learns this life is punishment enough the day Artesia begins to shy away from him, giving way to a new wary expression he's never seen her make before, when she begins to insist to be called by her middle name, Sayla, calling Artesia "dated". There is eventually some sort of resolution, after many nights of them arguing in hushed voices, tones well beyond their years.
Sayla does not forgive him.
Sayla does not forgive him, but they have a quiet understanding. Their previous sibling relationship was, and will always be, in shambles. They are well past the point of no return.
Sayla Mass does not forgive him. Artesia Sayla Som Deikun, at least, tries to have a normal sibling relationship with her brother.
With that in mind, when his (living, loving) parents ask him to please escort his beloved younger sister on a tour of a university near his in Montreal, who is he to say no?
("Keeping family close is important," his mother had remarked on that particular phone call.
Sayla, clearly audible in the background, echoed, "Yeah, Casval, keeping family close is important.")
Montreal is cold. Everyone in Toronto says that Montreal isn't any colder, despite this being able to be debunked by literally anyone who can use Google, and there always comes to a point in the winter where no amount of clothing will warm you. This is to say, Casval wants the person who decided to have an outdoor campus tour in January to be taken out back and shot.
The tour is over. Sayla collects every pamphlet and piece of paraphernalia the school has to offer, partially out of genuine interest and partially to appease their parents. The moment the two of them are free from the clutches of the overly-peppy campus tour guides, they make it a mission to find a coffee shop--Sayla because she's cold, and Casval because he needs caffeine to even think about going about the rest of his day. As they walk off campus, Sayla takes out her phone, about to search for a shop close by, but Casval stops her.
"Let's go there," he says, pointing to a shop across the street, "That one should work."
Reincarnation, Amuro Ray thinks, does not operate on logic.
What did he do to deserve going through this shit again ? Okay, so there's no war wiping out an obscenely large portion of the human race, his parents are normal divorced instead of still married but literally living on different planets divorced, and he has a normal school life, but still.
There's something about living a normal life while having memories not only of fighting in wars, but of languishing from the trauma from said wars. It's a never-ending cycle; it's not like he can talk to anyone about it. How would he even describe it to a therapist? Hey, I can't give you exact dates because I didn't finish high school on account of the whole "child soldier" thing and don't remember what year the Universal Century started on the old calendar, but in Universal Century '79, I was 15 years old and piloted the Gundam--you see, the Gundam is...
It is a blessing and a curse to find part-time work. A blessing because who else but Bright Noa is his manager, running Morning Owl exactly like White Base, and a curse because who else but Bright Noa is his manager, running Morning Owl exactly like White Base. First person he can talk to about his child soldier trauma without seeming like an insane person! Yay! Sucks that it's the one person who is somehow more emotionally repressed than he is!
Their relationship is one of quiet acknowledgement, one of hey, how are you, you were the witness on my last will and testament that I wrote before I died and here we are. Bright Noa, four years his senior, acting less like the 19 year-old he is and more like the middle-aged man who has witnessed the deaths of thousands--including his own goddamn son--that he also is.
(He mentioned Hathaway's death so off-handedly, it nearly gave Amuro whiplash. "Hathaway and Chiemin loved this song. It was still playing on the radio on Earth, even then." He was talking about a song he added to the shop's playlist. "You know, Hathaway was a Newtype. He wound up becoming a terrorist and died." Fucking what?)
The presence of Kamille Bidan in his life is also a somewhat-welcome surprise. For obvious reasons, he would rather Kamille not come to the shop by himself so often--what, everything that happened to him before wasn't enough? He needs to have shit parents this go round, too? He's happy to be there for him, though--he wishes he had someone who understood at that age.
("I think it's because we all killed people before. We don't deserve to be happy." Kamille said once, sitting at the counter, too short for his feet to touch the floor, sipping on a hot cocoa heated specifically to "child temperature". Sometimes, Amuro needs people to stop saying odd shit to him.)
Kamille should not be here. Kamille should be off gallivanting in a field somewh--no, it's January in Montreal. Nobody is gallivanting anywhere.
Kamille should not be here. Kamille should be like him when he was nine years old, sitting alone in his room and staring at the blank white wall and having vivid flashbacks of
Kamille should not be here. Kamille should be playing inside with Fa (currently unavailable due to figure skating practice) with parents who at least seem to give a modicum of a shit about him. But, if Kamille is going to be here, he can at least do the brotherly (?) (he's never been a brother before) thing and help with his homework. It's not like anyone is here, anyway.
Amuro leans over the counter, peeking at the-- that is not a textbook, where did this kid get fucking space shuttle blueprints and why is he asking what this word is in French.
Halfway through an impromptu translation of a near-illegible note on what he as learnt is the presumably-illegally-obtained blueprints not of a space shuttle, but of the recent unmanned craft launched to study Jupiter, Amuro feels an incredibly similar presence causing him to stop in the middle of his sentence. Kamille looks up at him, but rather than questioning why he stopped, he looks almost understanding, which is...never great, he thinks. The door to the cafe opens at that moment, and without thinking, he pipes up in his customer service voice, not looking away from Kamille just yet.
"Bonjour, hello, I'll be right wi--"
"Sorry," he's cut off by a frustratingly familiar blond man standing in the doorway, his younger sister (how did he know she's his sister?) trailing behind him, "Are we interrupting something?"