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- Motion
He runs and runs and runs through the Ishimura's endless winding corridors, mad Minotaur in a labyrinth, intrusive thought in a sick brain howling with shambling fantasies that wear human faces; he burns himself out on caffeine shots and endless grinding adrenaline, he runs and fights and kills and leaps from shitfire to shitfire because she's there, waiting for him, and when he finds her the relief is so great he almost doesn't notice that part of him looks at her face and wants to keep running.
- Cool
He wonders if the needle was cold against her skin, bitter shard of ice, frigid key to a dark realm--he wonders if her skin is that cold now (he knows he would kiss her anyway).
- Young
After she blows his tuition Mom says he'll understand the divine someday and he screams at her, says she doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about, but she just smiles like she knows and maybe she was wrong about the Unitology part, but he'll learn the nature of worship, of belief in someone else like a cancer and a cure, all too well.
- Last
To be the last survivor of anything, especially something as vast and bloody as the Ishimura, is brutal enough without having to do it alone--Isaac's glad he's got Nicole with him.
- Wrong
"This is so fucking unprofessional," she whispers against his mouth, and she's right, she's his mom's doctor for shit's sake, but she's looking at Isaac with more tenderness and clarity than anyone has in a long, long time and try as he might he can't bring himself to look away.
- Gentle
At first he struggle when the tentacles pin him down, but she's in his ear whispering shhh, it's okay, they won't hurt you, just relax , and when he does he realizes she's right as always, the Hive Mind handles him carefully, lovingly--afterwards, he boards the shuttle on shaky, fluid-stained legs and she rests her hand on his aching belly, whispering about how beautiful their baby girl will be.
- One
He's never been anything close to whole, not in Unitology's suffocating embrace or with the marines, but Nicole teaches him what it could be like to be part of something greater than himself, to lock in with his missing piece and never let go.
- Thousand
The number of times he almost steps out of an airlock, leaves it all behind, before he remembers that she's waiting for him, and he doesn't deserve peace if he leaves her in this place alone.
- King
The Ishimura is their dark, bloody kingdom, and she stands at his side wearing a crown of purest light, twin to the heat pulsing at Isaac's own temples as the Marker calls them home.
- Learn
If Kenda hadn't murdered Elizabeth Cross Isaac might have compared notes, might have asked did you want to die every time he disappeared, did, you feel like you were being reborn every time he came back, did something about his eyes make you even feel more alive than you did when he was real, did you ever feel wings on your back and his holy writ bleeding through your veins?
- Blur
Her face shivers like a bad holo connection, like a smeared painting, like a world undone by weeping, and then he blinks and she's so sharp and clear her smile cuts his heart open.
- Wait
Coordinating calls was a bitch (left him too much time to worry about turning out as desperate as his mother, as cruel as his father) and Isaac's grateful he can see Nicole whenever he wants to, now.
- Change
Trauma fucks up everyone, doesn't it, so if her face is a little flat and her movements strangely stuff and there's something so wrong about the way she talks, well, it's not Isaac's a picture of mental health, is he?
- Command
She's his prophet and his god all at once, and he follows her orders like a true believer.
- Hold
They dance in their shuttle, beautiful writing sprouting all around them like flowers, and with her in his arms he feels saner then he ever has.
- Need
He swore to himself that he would never let love control him, destroy him like it did Mom, and now he wants to laugh at himself for thinking that he ever had a choice.
- Vision
Meaning, the ability to see no matter how terrible the sight; meaning, a screen buzzing with ugly truths; meaning, planning for the future even when the past dragged him back down; meaning, a trance or a spell or a holy sight; meaning, something so beautiful it made it hard to breathe.
- Attention
Kendra yells in his ear, his comm link hisses and spits, the ship crumbles with the weight of screaming clawing monsters as fire licks at his ankles, but Nicole will always be at the center of his mind.
- Soul
She's woven herself into his very being, so close he can feel her fingers brushing against his heart, tapping in time with the beats.
- Picture
In his favorite one, she's standing in a park with her arms spread wide and a smile on her lips, hair lit brighter than a halo, a living star come to join him in the dirt.
- Fool
He thinks that Orpheus was a dumbass--you're so worried about looking back, why not just gouge out your own eyes?
- Mad
Kendra spits and snarls, calls him a crazy fucking psycho, says EarthGov will drug him until he's a drooling wreck and lock him in a padded cell, but Nicole's voice is louder than hers, and she smiles approvingly when Isaac takes Kendra's neck and snaps it between his palms.
- Child
Nikki wraps chubby fingers and tiny tentacles around his wrists as he carries her out of the smoldering, bloody EarthGove base, listening with wide eyes while Isaac tells stories about her mama and promises they'll all be together soon.
- Now
The past is a nightmare and the future is worse, but in this moment, he can stand with the woman he loves and pretend that it all means nothing to them.
- Shadow
She catches him looking at the place where hers should be and laughs at him, saying those things aren't as important as people say, you know.
- Goodbye
He scrapes the word out of his vocabulary with a sharp knife so she can flow into the gaps, molten sunlight filling his bones and scaring the dark away for good.
- Hide
Nicole says hide and seek was one of her favorite games as a kid and as she vanishes again and again into the ship's festering bowels, Isaac believes it.
- Fortune
They've had a run of bad luck to make Romeo and Juliet proud, but every time he hears her voice he can convince himself that one day, fate will be kind to them again.
- Safe
He's tempted to play savior, knight on horseback riding to the rescue, but in truth she's always been his savior, and her promise is the only thing that keeps him from shattering completely.
- Ghost
He's a weak, bloodied wraith compared to her, and he wonders if that's why she seems to flee from him, if she wishes the dead would leave her in peace.
- Book
Her words and her bones are the only holy text he'll ever believe in.
- Eye
She blinks and the pupil flares white-hot; he kisses her lids anyway.
- Never
"Not ever, Nicole--I'll look for you 'til the bitter end, I swear."
- Sing
He used to sing for Mom, pop songs and lullabies and even a few Unitology hymns if he was that starved for her attention--he doesn't often have the guts to do it now, but when he does, every note is for Nicole, a gift laid carefully at her feet.
- Sudden
The needle's outline registers like a punch to the brain, fist sinking into the spongy, stretch-thin matter, and he's gasping for air, breathless as she renders herself into nothing.
- Stop
If he can keep the screen frozen, still on her face, he doesn't have to watch, he doesn't have to know.
- Time
There was never going to be enough of it, but damn if they didn't try to convince themselves otherwise.
- Wash
She keeps watch while he talks himself into taking off the armor for the first time in so long and scrubbing himself clean in the shuttle's dinky little shower, blood and gunk running down his limbs and tracing familiar patterns around the drain.
- Torn
There's a loose flap of skin hanging in his chest, a hollow cavity pulsing inside, and he wishes one of the bastards on this ship could crawl back to reality long enough to tell him where he can find his heart.
- History
Nicole says that all the little details of the past don't matter all that much, and Isaac's inclined to agree.
- Power
She kisses him and he feels the electric love song of a god humming against his lips, the strength of a sun trapped in her hands, and he feels the kind of awe Unitology could only dream of as she tells him how they're going to remake the universe together.
- Bother
He asks her jokingly (more or less) why she wastes her time with a sad sack like him, and she just laughs and says that when she thinks she's wasting her time she'll be damn sure to let him know.
- God
She was his deity long before the Ishimura, and the wonder he's building will make the rest of the universe feel the same.
- Wall
There are no barriers behind them; it's like she knows his very thoughts now, like she can reach behind his skull and trace her fingers through his neurons, teaching him the way home.
- Naked
He doesn't entirely remember seeing her undress, can't really tell what happens after, but it feels as bright and holy as the first time and all the times after, so maybe nothing really changed.
- Drive
He dreams of hitting the road with her, taking some time to explore Earth after all their wanders through the depths of space, the car buzzing them as they belt shitty song lyrics at the top of their lungs and laugh hard enough to scare all the monsters away.
- Harm
Asking too many questions isn't good for him, for either of them, and after all they've been through he wants to make the healing journey as easy as he can, so he buries the nasty little doubts deep.
- Precious
He offers Nikki up like the gift she is and watches happily as mother and daughter exchange a little smile, glowing ears peering into glowing eyes as the world around them crackles like a storm.
- Hunger
The Ishimura are ravenous for his flesh, he's ravenous for her love, and compared to those kinds of hunger little things like death don't really matter anymore.
- Believe
Creation stretches out before them, unfurling towards infinity, and Isaac trusts that whatever path she needs them to take has been the right one; this love of theirs has carried them both through hell and he knows like he's never known anything that together, they have become unstoppable.