Chapter Text
Taeyong pops his pills into his mouth, tilting his head back and downing a huge gulp of water. He swallows the pills, grimacing at the bitter aftertaste left behind by the bulky medication. He places his water bottle back onto the bench top, glaring down at the opened packets and bottles of pills laid before him.
Bottles and pills of medication made specifically for alphas. Which, Taeyong was not. But, he looked like one, talked like one—hell, he even acted like one. All this faking and pretending so he doesn't have to face the fact that he's actually an omega. A male omega at that; a useless cog in the wheel of society. Omegas are at the very bottom of the ladder, male omegas sitting a little below female omegas on that ladder.
So, when Taeyong presented as an omega at the unripened age of ten, his father, an alpha, absolutely blew a fuse. For one, Taeyong was an early bloomer; someone who presents far earlier than the normal thirteen to seventeen age bracket. Secondly, he was an omega. His father detested omegas. His wife, Taeyong's mother, is a beta. Taeyong's older sister is a beta. His two older half-brothers are alphas. Why did Taeyong have to be the odd one out?
Taeyong doesn't know to this day what kind of strings his father pulled to get his ten year old omega son on the strongest alpha medication there was, but that's exactly what he did. He refused to accept having an omega for a son. Taeyong still takes all those medications: alpha supplements, alpha stimulants, varying kinds of scent blockers, omega heat suppressants—the whole schtick.
Taeyong has only had two proper heat cycles as an omega, the rest have been under heavy control with the immense medication he was on. He's glad he doesn't have to face a monthly heat cycle, he's read that they're absolutely horrendous to go through (he feels especially bad for female omegas, they have to deal with a monthly heat cycle and their period), especially alone without an alpha.
Throughout his life, Taeyong has had omegas throw themselves at him, wanting him to be their mate. Taeyong has no interest in them, of course. He has no attraction to omegas. Nor does he have any kind of attraction for alphas.
Pretending to be an alpha for the last seventeen years means that he's come across and "befriended" some of the worst alphas—the kind who believe they're top shit because they're alphas, and make it their entire personality. Taeyong generally tries to avoid people like this (or alphas in general), but at times, it is inevitable especially when Taeyong's father primarily surrounds his family with alphas.
Why he couldn't have been born into a beta body, he would never know, but he hates fate for making him a pitiful, useless male omega. And it's that hatred that makes him continue to down these insufferable pills every day, even long after he had moved out. Taeyong often thinks about how his father would react if he ever came off his pills. It makes him shudder thinking about it. His own siblings don't even know he's an omega—his parents opted not to tell them, and keep Taeyong apart from them while his medications kicked in.
Now at twenty-seven, Taeyong knows the strong meds have certainly caused irreparable damage to his body, and that even if he did come off the medication, he would never look like an omega. He doesn't even completely look like an alpha either—yeah he's got broad shoulders and a deep voice, but that was about it.
Over the years, Taeyong has gotten a lot better when dealing with douche alphas and is no longer afraid to tell them to back off from harassing omegas. He likes to think that's good character development. He does work with a good mix of dynamics; a couple of nice betas, one omega, and a few alphas. The few alphas are mostly nice, except for one.
Heaving a heavy sigh, running a hand through his long wavy blonde locks, Taeyong looks over at the time. He has to go to work soon, but if he's honest, he doesn't really want to. He had told off that dick alpha, Seongjin, yet again, for harassing the new hire, Kangmin, who is an omega. Taeyong can see why Seongjin has an interest in Kangmin, he's an extremely pretty young man with big eyes and charming smile.
Seongjin didn't take too well to being told off by Taeyong, and threatened to sucker punch him when his back is turned. Taeyong had simply responded by saying he'd call the cops then, which sent Seongjin into a babbling spiral of "you're not abiding by the alpha-code" and "I saw him first" kind of shit. Taeyong doesn't understand why Seongjin thinks Taeyong only told him to back off because he's interested in Kangmin; the thought makes Taeyong shudder.
Taeyong stands straight, cracking his shoulders. "Let's get this over with." He mutters to himself, swiping his keys off the bench and grabbing his coat. He thought taking a job at a library would mean less stress and drama, but nothing in his life is stress or drama-free.
"You know, you broke the alpha-code."
Taeyong heaves a sigh of aggravation, eyebrows pinched. He ignores Seongjin's whining, shoving a book back on the shelf from the stack in his arms.
"You're not listening to me." Seongjin snaps, grabbing Taeyong's wrist and forcing the smaller male to look at him. Taeyong groans, turning to face the taller, younger alpha.
"What, Seongjin? You've been reiterating the same points for the last half an hour." He grumbles.
"Reiter—what?" Seongjin scowls. "Look, I saw the omega first. So that means, I get to mark him first."
Taeyong grits his teeth, using every fibre of his being to prevent himself from punching the moron in the jaw. "Seongjin. For the millionth time. I am not interested in Kangmin." He grits out. "And neither should you. He's not even twenty yet."
Seongjin crosses his arms, leaning against the bookshelf. The bludger hasn't even put a single book away. Taeyong will definitely be dobbing him into their boss later. "Yeah, well, the age of consent in Japan is thirteen."
"Okay, three things," Taeyong holds up one finger, "one, how and why do you know that? Two," he holds up a second finger, "it isn't actually thirteen, it's sixteen. Which is still gross to think about. And three,” he holds up three fingers, “we’re not in Japan, so your point is null.” He turns back to the shelf, shoving another book away. "Now, are you actually going to do any work? Or are you going to keep harassing me about wanting to mark a minor?"
Seongjin splutters, Taeyong ignoring his protests and walking to the next aisle. "You don't have to say it that loud!"
Taeyong shrugs, holding a book in front of him as he scans the shelf for its place. "I didn't, really. And it's the truth." Seongjin grabs Taeyong's shoulder, roughly twisting him around to face him once again.
"Come on, buddy! What's the big deal? You're getting your panties in a twist. What are you, an omega about to start their cycle? You're so moody." Seongjin grumbles, grip tightening on Taeyong's shoulder.
Taeyong hides his grimace, masking it with indifference. He places the book back on the stack in his arm before grabbing Seongjin's wrist and wrenching it from his shoulder. His burst of strength clearly surprises Seongjin, a look of shock strewn across the moron's ugly face.
"Again, two things." Taeyong says lowly, a dangerous glint in his voice. “One, I am not your 'buddy', nor am I a friend. I am simply a coworker who has to deal with your bullshit. Two, what you're talking about doing is literally illegal and I will not hesitate to report you if you do not shut up and pull your head in." Taeyong takes pleasure in the aghast look that crosses Seongjin's face at Taeyong's words. "Just because you're an alpha does not mean you have to think with your dick." Taeyong places the book on top of his stack onto the shelf, before turning and wordlessly taking his leave.
Seongjin doesn't follow Taeyong, and for that, Taeyong is eternally grateful. Hopefully, he got through to the moron.
The problem with alphas in today's society is that they're brought up to believe everyone should worship the ground they walk on and bend to their every whim and demand, solely for the fact that they're alphas and are on a higher stand socially. This makes alphas, like Seongjin, entitled and expecting the world to cater to them. Especially omegas. Taeyong never participated in any omega only classes or groups during school, so he cannot say what they were taught, but he can definitely say with confidence what alphas were brought up being taught. That alphas should be respected above the other dynamics. This in turn means they can treat those below them however they wish with no repercussions. Most specifically omegas. Omegas belong to alphas. Omegas only exist to carry alpha offspring, to carry on their genes. They're there for alphas to fuck and use as they wish, and omegas shouldn't protest.
Male omegas cannot breed so their existence is solely there for alphas' sexual satisfaction. That's what many alphas think, anyway. Seongjin reminds Taeyong a lot of an alpha he knew in high school. Shin Donggeun. He'd never forget him.
Taeyong was forced to befriend the alpha due to him being the son of one of his father’s work colleagues, and to be frank, Taeyong hated Donggeun. He was the type of alpha Taeyong hates most—but he sucked it up and bit his tongue. Taeyong would watch how Donggeun would talk down to betas, and absolutely harass the shit out of omegas, male and female. It made Taeyong sick. One time at school, he walked in on Donggeun taking advantage of an omega boy from the year below them in one of the bathrooms. Taeyong didn't know how to react, opting to just stand there in shock while Donggeun hurt the poor boy, all the while a couple of his buddies stood around laughing and egging him on.
The boy had looked at Taeyong with this broken look in his eyes, silently begging for help. One of Donggeun's friends grabbed Taeyong's wrist, dragging him over and trying to pressure him into doing god knows what to the omega. Instead of standing up for the boy like he wanted to, Taeyong tore his wrist from the alpha's grip and high-tailed it out of there. He proceeded to throw up in a nearby bathroom, coming to the dreadful realisation that the only reason Donggeun hadn't done that to Taeyong was because he thought Taeyong was an alpha.
From that day onward that he decided he loathed alphas, and pitied omegas. And that he didn't want to be either of those dynamics.
Taeyong bites his lip at the painful memory washing through his mind like a tidal wave, shoving the book away in its spot on the shelf. He has indeed met some nice alphas, like the other two he works with. Mingyu, a handsome alpha the same age as Seongjin who is honestly very goofy. His personality doesn't match that of an alpha in the slightest, but his looks certainly do. The other alpha is Juho, an alpha only a year younger than Taeyong. He's extremely nice; the first time Taeyong met him during his first shift, he offered Taeyong some lollies and cake. Ever since, he always brings delicious snacks for the library staff (mostly for Taeyong, though), to snack on while they work.
Those two alphas are nothing like the douchebag alphas he's met in the past. They both have also had a go at Seongjin—Seongjin just didn't threaten to sucker punch them because they're both much taller than he is. Taeyong wishes more alphas were like Mingyu and Juho.
Taeyong finally finishes putting his stack of returned books away, slowly making his way back to the front desk where Kangmin sits checking out some books for some high school students. Taeyong joins the younger omega behind the desk, watching him work. Kangmin sweetly tells the two girls to have a lovely day, handing them back their books.
Taeyong watches the girls walk away, but not without hearing them whispering to each other.
"He's so cute!"
"I know...shame he's an omega."
Taeyong bites the inside of his cheek, turning to Kangmin and wondering whether or not he heard the two girls. If he did, he's good at pretending he didn't. "Hey Kangminnie, how are things here?"
Kangmin turns to Taeyong with a bright smile. "Hey, hyung! Everything is pretty good. I haven't had any issues with any returns or check outs today, which is good."
Taeyong nods, sitting on the cushioned desk chair beside Kangmin. He crosses one long leg delicately over the other, folding his arms across his chest and swivelling the chair so he faces the younger. "That's good." He pauses. "Has Seongjin given you any problems today?"
Kangmin's smile turns sour, and he turns away. "Ah, at the start of my shift he did, but he's since left me alone so that's good."
Taeyong wheels the chair closer, uncrossing his arms and leg, leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees. "Kangmin, what did he say to you?"
The younger's smile is completely vanished now, shaking his head in response. "It's fine, hyung."
Taeyong chews the inside of his cheek, tasting blood. "Kangmin."
Kangmin gives in. "He told me my lips would look good wrapped around his...you know." Kangmin says quietly, cheeks flaring. "I just ignored him as usual, then he said he couldn't wait to be my first."
Taeyong sighs angrily, once again crossing his arms. "That fucking alpha..."
"It's okay, though." Kangmin says quickly.
Taeyong is floored. "It's really not. Kangmin, he's sexually harassing you."
Kangmin takes his lower lip into his teeth, turning away. "Hyung, I appreciate your concern, but it's okay. Really. I'm used to it." He turns back to face Taeyong, smiling slightly. "So don't worry, okay?"
Taeyong's autumn eyes blow wide, his jaw clenched. How could Kangmin say that with such a content face? That he's used to disgusting things being said to him by alphas? It makes Taeyong's stomach twist unpleasantly.
"How...how can I not worry?" Taeyong asks quietly, wheeling his chair closer to Kangmin, the spokes of the chair bumping with Kangmin's chair. "Nothing about this is okay."
Kangmin just sighs, standing to his feet. "Hyung, seriously, I'm fine." He forces a smile. "I'm going to see if there are any new books to put away." He turns away from the stunned faux-alpha, quickly heading to the front of the library where returned books are dropped off.
Taeyong just sits there, eyes wide as he watches the young omega walk away. How Kangmin can stay so calm and say everything is okay is sickening. Is this what omegas are taught to do? To allow sexual harassment as long as it's an alpha doing it? To accept it as if it's their fate?
Perhaps Kangmin was getting annoyed with Taeyong; how could "alpha" Taeyong understand what it's like to be an omega? Taeyong doesn't truly understand anyway, he's been lying to everyone and himself for his whole life anyway.
"Taeyong!"
Taeyong snaps from his reverie, blinking back to reality. He looks up to see Juho gazing down at him worriedly. Taeyong offers a sheepish smile, standing to greet the alpha.
"Hey, Juho. Sorry, I was off with the fairies." Taeyong says, grinning and rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
Juho chuckles, the sound deep like the ocean. He reaches out and ruffles Taeyong's fluffy blonde hair reassuringly, the action making Taeyong flush momentarily. He quickly collects himself, playfully swatting the taller's hand away, automatically fixing his now-mussed hair.
"Oi! Do you know how long it took me to style my hair this morning?" Taeyong jokes, moving his fingertips so his fringe falls in place across his forehead.
Juho laughs again. "Well, do you know how long I've been wanting to do that?" Juho retorts, casually walking around the front desk to stand beside Taeyong. "Honestly, with how many times you've dyed it, I figured it would feel like straw."
Taeyong feigns offence. "Ouch, you think I don't take care of my hair?"
Juho chuckles in response, plopping himself on the desk chair Kangmin was seated on before. He places a container on the desk in front of Taeyong. "Here, my partner made strawberry shortcake. He told me to bring you some since you always like his baking."
Taeyong's boba eyes light up. "Jaeyoon! Bless his heart." Taeyong says with delight, sitting back on his chair and grabbing the container. "It looks so good." Taeyong picks up a piece and shovels it into his mouth with little grace.
Juho just sits there laughing. "You and your cake." He says, before he sniffs the air and his smile disappears. "Is Kangmin here today?"
Taeyong wonders momentarily how Juho knows Kangmin is here (while also completely forgetting that rosters exist), then remembers that Juho can smell Kangmin, even after he's left. Taeyong takes heavy scent blockers, so he can't smell anyone and nobody can smell him. He often gets people asking why he doesn't have a scent, and he just tells them he's simply on scent blockers for health reasons. They don't question it, and still think he's an alpha.
Taeyong swallows his mouthful of cake. "Yeah, he is."
"And Seongjin?"
"He is, he’s down at the computers cleaning them now.” Taeyong answers. "He said some gross shit to Kangmin again. And he was annoying me as well, so I had a go at him."
Juho nods slowly. "Do you think we should tell Myungil?"
Taeyong sighs. "I don't know. Kangmin got annoyed when I brought it up. I think he's worried he'll be the one to get in trouble instead, after all, Seongjin is Myungil's nephew." Taeyong wanted to add 'and because he's an omega', as well, but he refrained from doing so.
"That's not right," Juho says quietly. "Kangmin should be able to be report him without worrying about repercussions."
"In a perfect world, maybe." Taeyong responds softly, taking another bite of his cake. "This is delicious, by the way. You should definitely tell Jaeyoon thanks, from me."
Juho doesn't respond, just looking at Taeyong and nodding.
Taeyong stares at the ceiling, glancing momentarily over at his bunny digital clock perched on his bedside table. His alarm should be going off in about four hours, yet here he is, lying awake and thinking. He had a doctors appointment at nine in the morning, and his alarm set for eight.
Maybe he's nervous about his appointment? Last time he saw the doctor was only a few weeks ago, and his doctor seemed to be a little worried about Taeyong. He wanted to see Taeyong again as soon as possible, but of course all his earliest appointments were booked out. His doctor, Dr. Lee Minwoo, is a beta and has been treating Taeyong since he presented at ten. He knows all of Taeyong's health problems and obviously about his dynamics problem.
He hopes the appointment tomorrow doesn't deliver any bad news. Taeyong scrubs his hands down his face, groaning loudly. He decides to get on his phone to pass time, rather than try to get back to sleep.
Taeyong reaches over to his bedside table, unplugging his phone and picking it up. He lies back down on his back, holding his phone above his face. He unlocks it, the white screen bright in the dark room. His eyes quickly adjust, opening the TikTok app and mindlessly scrolling through videos. He swipes through videos for a few minutes, sometimes stopping and liking a video or two. However, Taeyong completely halts on one video—a video of a model doing some poses up a catwalk before it cuts to him unbuttoning his shirt and staring devilishly into the camera.
Usually Taeyong couldn't give two shits about these kinds of videos, especially when the person in it is clearly an alpha—but this time, Taeyong is intrigued. He looks at the account that posted the video, and it was the official Prada account. Taeyong raises his eyebrows.
"Huh, maybe they finally decided to get a good-looking model this time." He muses, watching the video again. The man in the short TikTok video is indeed extremely attractive; with soft blonde hair swept off his forehead with gel and styled back to look windswept, large dark chocolate eyes framed in thick black eyelashes, high cheekbones, a chiseled jawline and plump pinked lips. He looks tall, with long legs and broad shoulders. He walks in a suit in the first part of the video, but then it cuts to him unbuttoning his shirt while gazing into the camera with hooded eyes. Taeyong taps the screen, pausing the video. He stares at the man's exposed chest, his pecs large and smooth—and are those abs Taeyong can see peeking out under his shirt?
Maybe it's just Taeyong being tired as fuck, but the thought of being with an alpha, as long as it was this man, momentarily passes in his mind. He also wonders what his scent must be like…would he smell sweet? Or would he smell something like freshly brewed coffee—wait!
Taeyong snaps out of whatever thought process he was having, eyes blowing wide open and bolting upright. He unlikes the video, clearing the TikTok app and tossing his phone onto the floor.
What the fuck was that?
Taeyong has never felt any kind of sexual attraction to anyone before, especially not an alpha of all people. So why the hell did he feel so hot and bothered by a simple video of a model?
"Well, do you want the good news or bad news?" Dr. Lee asks, swivelling his desk chair to turn and face Taeyong, who sits on a chair next to the desk with wide eyes.
"Wait—what?" Taeyong says.
Dr. Lee looks back at his desktop momentarily, before returning his gaze back to Taeyong. "Good news or bad news?"
"Uh..." Taeyong scrubs a hand through his knotted blonde hair. He didn't end up going back to sleep, that stupidly handsome model on his mind the whole time. "Good news?"
"Good news is that you're coming off your alpha meds." Dr. Lee says, clasping his hands together over his stomach and leaning back in his chair.
Taeyong feels like a bucket of ice had just been dumped over him. "...what...?" He croaks out shakily, voice brittle. "...wh-what do you mean...?"
Dr. Lee sighs softly. "After your examination last time, and checking on your hormones today, I've decided it's in your best interest to come off them."
Taeyong opens and closes his mouth a few times, no sounds coming from his lips. "You—you can't make that decision."
Dr. Lee looks at him with a pitied look. "Look, Taeyong, I have been treating you since you were ten. I did what your father wanted by forcing you on these extremely body-altering medications, and even now, seventeen years later, you're still taking them even though you no longer have to."
"But I want to." Taeyong bites out. "I can't...I don't want to be an omega." He nearly sobs.
"I know, Taeyong," Dr. Lee says quietly. "But, this medication you've been on for seventeen years has caused irreparable damage to your body. And if you continue to stay on them, it will only get worse." He adjusts his glasses. "Your natural omega hormones are fighting the alpha supplements and trying to overpower them, and it's causing you damage that in the short term could lead to severe health issues."
Taeyong bites his lip hard. "I know that. I knew the risks when I decided to continue the meds even after I moved out.” He casts his gaze away. “What kind of…other health problems will happen if I continue to take these meds?”
“It’s hard to say, as I have never seen or heard of another case like yours,” the doctor says softly.
Taeyong raises his eyebrows. “‘Case like mine’?” He repeats cautiously.
“As in, someone taking extremely strong body-altering medications to prevent their body from naturally developing into the correct dynamic.” Dr. Lee explains. “I do believe it could potentially lead to osteoporosis, varying erectile dysfunctions, or even cancerous-type illnesses.” He rubs his nose. “Since your medication affected your growth, your sex drive, your vocal chords; it can eventually lead to these parts of your body deteriorating.”
Taeyong drinks in this information, chewing the inside of his cheek. Hearing about all these intense health risks makes his heart thump painfully in his chest. He did indeed know of the potential risks when he decided to continue taking the meds once he moved out at nineteen, however, he did not realise the true extent of how severe these problems really are.
Dr. Lee sighs yet again, then continues. "Taeyong. Please. If you were to come off your medication now, and be placed on proper omega ones, your health, as well as your hormones and dynamic health will improve exponentially."
"I'm already fucked up as it is, why can't I stay that way?" Taeyong argues, his eyes stinging with tears.
"Taeyong, I'm sorry. As your doctor, and a friend—please hear me out." Dr. Lee pleads.
Taeyong sits there, thinking. What would everyone think when he rocks back up to work and he's emitting an omega stench? How would Mingyu and Juho react? What about Kangmin? Seongjin? The image of that omega boy being raped in the bathroom in high school flashes in his mind—he doesn't want that to happen to him. If he becomes a proper omega, will he have to sit back and accept harassment from alphas?
A tear slips from his burning eyes, and he hastily wipes it away before it could run down his cheek. "If...if that was the good news, what was the bad news?" Taeyong chokes out, voice brittle.
"The bad news is that because your omega has been essentially locked away for so long, certain...things could happen out of the blue." Dr. Lee answers. "Like your heat cycle. It probably will not happen monthly, rather it could occur at any time. I am not one-hundred percent. Same with your pheromones. Your pheromones could be, for example, smelling like you're an omega in heat, when your body is not ready for heat."
Taeyong stares at the ground, unmoving. "So you're saying my heat can just come at any given moment, and my smell will be telling everyone the opposite of what my body is actually feeling?” His voice sounds miles away.
Dr. Lee hesitates. "In short, yes."
Taeyong exhales slowly. "I don't really have a choice, do I?"
"Well, you do. I cannot force you. But, as a friend, and not your doctor, I want you to choose what's best for you and your health." He answers earnestly. Taeyong looks at him, the older man staring at him with a concerned gaze.
On one hand, this will be a big middle finger to his father. But on the other hand, how will his family react? He chews the sore spot inside his cheek. He'll cross that bridge when he gets to it.
"...okay. I'll come off the alpha meds." Taeyong says after an eternity of thinking. He sees Dr. Lee's shoulders sag with relief. Only because you told me to…not because I want to.
"Oh, thank god." Dr. Lee exclaims. "I'm so glad, Taeyong." He smiles genuinely, reaching out and grabbing both of Taeyong's bony hands in his warm hands. "I have been waiting for this day. When you can finally stop harming your body because of your moronic father."
Taeyong forces a smile. "Thanks, Dr. I really appreciate your help.”
"Of course! Any time." He says, letting go of Taeyong's hands and spinning on his chair to face his desktop. "Now, to get you scripts for your new medication." He begins typing. "I'm going to replace your alpha supplements with omega ones, and your omega heat suppressants with weaker ones. As for your scent blockers, I want you to come off those completely." He explains while he types. Taeyong watches his nimble fingers skit across the keyboard, before his eyes move up to the screen to the script his doctor was filling out. "Now, you cannot just stop your current meds straight away. You have to ease yourself off them." He stops typing, the printer next to him whirring to life as it prints off two new scripts.
"Okay, how?" Taeyong questions.
"Take them every second day for one week, and in the days in between, take your new meds." He grabs the sheets and folds them both, handing them to Taeyong. "Then the following week, every two days and your new meds in between. Every week space the days further apart until you have no more days left."
"Okay, sure thing." Taeyong says, throat tight. He's nervous. "What would happen if I came off them all at once?'
Dr. Lee gives him a pointed look. "I don't know. So don't try that, okay?"
Taeyong breathes slowly. “Okay." He twiddles his thumbs. “Do you…know any male omegas? I kinda…wanna get advice on how to…you know, handle things?”
“Actually, I do,” Dr. Lee answers after a moment of thought, reaching over to his drawers on top of the desk and sliding one open. He picks out a small card and hands it to Taeyong. It’s a business card with an address and time inscribed on it. “My wife’s nephew is an omega and he runs a support group for male omegas. I think it would be good for you to attend.” Taeyong looks over the card, taking his lower lip in his teeth.
“Thanks, hyung.” Taeyong answers earnestly.
Taeyong inhales deeply, attempting feebly to calm his jittery nerves. He clutches his paper scripts tightly in his hand, clenching his jaw. He was anxious—he’s picking up his new meds from his usual pharmacy, but as an omega, not a fake alpha.
Taeyong bites his tongue, exhaling slowly, before walking up to the automatic sliding doors. The doors slide open, and he walks in, trying to pretend that he wasn’t nervous out of his god damn mind. He walks up to the scripts counter at the back of the pharmacy, the pharmacist behind the counter greeting Taeyong cheerfully.
“Hello, glad to see you’re back.” The pharmacist says, holding his hand out for the scripts Taeyong is holding. The pharmacist is an alpha, and has generally been extremely nice to Taeyong in the past. Taeyong hopes that doesn’t change when he discovers the truth.
“Uh—hey, here, can I pick these up? They’re new meds.” Taeyong says in a timid voice.
“Sure thing!”
Taeyong swallows thickly, handing the scripts to the pharmacist. He takes them from Taeyong, looking down at the papers. Taeyong watches as his eyebrows furrow in confusion as he reads over the scripts.
“These medications are for omegas, are you aware of that?” He asks, carefully looking up at Taeyong.
“Uh…yeah. I—I’m aware.” Taeyong stutters out.
“Why are you suddenly switching from alpha meds to omega meds?”
Taeyong wants to snap at him ‘I’ve been on omega heat suppressants for years, and you never questioned that!’, but he doesn’t. Rather, he snaps, “It’s none of your business. Please just give me my meds.” Taeyong didn’t want to be rude, but the judging look in the alpha pharmacist’s eyes tells Taeyong all he needs to know.
Taeyong paces back and forth, chewing on his fingernail nervously. As per his doctor’s instructions, he has started taking his new meds. It’s only been two days, so he’s only taken the new ones once. So far, he doesn’t feel any different. He keeps reminding himself these things take time, and to not be so impatient.
So, in the meantime, he’s decided to give that male omega therapy group his doctor mentioned a crack. How bad could it be? It’ll just be him and a bunch of other male omegas with problems talking about said problems.
Would that mean he’d have to open up about his past? About the alpha meds and pretending to be something he’s not for his entire life? He’s never told a soul—only his parents and his doctor know about him being an omega. Just the thought of having to come to terms with everything and talk to complete strangers about his fucked up life scares him.
Taeyong tastes blood, and he removes his finger from his lips to see a dribble of blood oozing from his split fingertip. He chewed his nails too far down again. He shakes his hand before shoving it into the pocket of his oversized hoodie, taking in a deep breath to calm his raging anxiety.
“Let’s get this over with.” Taeyong mutters to himself, pushing open the door to the gym. The business card he has with all the information about the support group says that the sessions take place in one of the back rooms of his local gym, which he did not know about despite frequenting this gym. He walks down the empty hall right down to the back of the building, passing the main gym room and other smaller rooms on his way. He stops at the last door, a sign stuck to the front with sticky-tape simply reading “male omega support group”.
He inhales and exhales deeply, hand on the handle of the door. He pulls it open, stepping inside. There is a circle of chairs set up in the middle; about ten or so chairs. Only four of them are filled. Taeyong’s boba eyes widen when recognises one of the figures occupying one of the chairs. The omega turns to look at the entrance, his own eyes widening upon seeing Taeyong standing awkwardly in the doorway.
“Taeyong-hyung? What are you doing here?” Kangmin exclaims shakily, shooting to his feet.
Fuck, Taeyong thinks to himself.
“Kangmin, do you know him?” The omega beside Kangmin asks. He’s extremely pretty, with shoulder-length pink hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and a good few centimetres taller than Taeyong. Suddenly, all eyes in the room are on Taeyong.
“Yeah, I work with him,” Kangmin says quietly, glaring at Taeyong. Taeyong swallows nervously; he’s never seen Kangmin glare like that, even at Seongjin.
A different omega walks up to Taeyong, he’s shorter than Taeyong with ebony black hair and pretty eyes that reminded Taeyong of a cat. He sniffs the air, scowling at Taeyong. “I can’t smell a scent on you. Are you an omega?”
Taeyong opens his mouth to answer, but Kangmin cuts him off. “No! He’s an alpha.” Taeyong’s heart stops dead in his chest.
“N-no, you’ve got it wrong,” Taeyong stutters out, all four omegas pinning dark glares on him.
“Do I? I’ve worked with you for a year now—you’re an alpha.” Kangmin says, voice wobbling. He looks like he’s going to cry.
“What? Did you stalk him here?” The third omega snaps at Taeyong. He has a very cute face with chubby cheeks and wavy blue hair.
“Invading his—our safe space, why can’t you alphas just leave us alone?” The one with the cat eyes snaps, getting right up into Taeyong’s face.
“N-no! I wouldn’t do that to Kangmin,” Taeyong gasps out, his heart thundering so hard he feels like it will burst out of his chest. “I didn’t even know he would be here. I—I’m not an alpha.”
The omega’s cat eyes narrow, his scowl deepening. “Oh, be fucking for real. Kangmin knows you’re an alpha. Leave now, or we’ll get management down here to escort you out.” He snarls.
Taeyong steps back, his eyes wide and burning with tears. He looks around at the three omegas glaring at him. Kangmin just looks at him with a hurt gaze. Without saying another word, Taeyong turns and high-tails it out of there.
He understands why they were upset, why they were accusing him of stalking Kangmin. After all, Kangmin only knows him as an alpha. Now he can’t go there at all, and how is he meant to face Kangmin at work? The look of horror on Kangmin’s face when he recognised it was Taeyong walking through the door—it’s a look Taeyong never thought he’d see on the boy’s face. Especially when he was the cause of it.
Taeyong practically sprints home, his nerves and adrenaline pumping in his veins keeping him going the whole way back. When he reaches his apartment after what felt like an eternity of running; he basically throws his door open, slamming it shut behind him once he was safely inside. He immediately presses his back to the wood, sliding down it until his ass hits the cold floor.
He curls into a ball and sobs his heart out into his knees.
Taeyong’s hands hurt from gripping his knees so hard, his chest tight and constricting his already limited breath, but he did not move. He sits in the same position, crying, for hours. Sunlight has long since vanished, replaced with the looming darkness of the approaching evening.
He sits back, finally uncurling from his ball. His cheeks are sticky with tears, his lips wet and his back sore. His heart is still racing. Taeyong pushes himself to his feet shakily, wincing at his bones cracking in response. He flicks on one of the lights, his apartment illuminating in white. He stumbles over to the bench, where all his medications sat on the edge.
The alpha meds sit there, taunting him. It’s all because of them that he’s fucked. It’s all because of his father that he cannot fit in with alphas or omegas.
“Why the fuck are you a disgusting omega? I will not have one of my children—my son!—be an omega!” His father's voice screams and echos in his head like a broken record.
“Omegas are only good for one thing—breeding. Male omegas? Just for fucking and giving blowjobs!” He remembers Donggeun exclaiming, while laughing with his buddies.
Taeyong snarls. Fuck continuing to take this shit.
Taeyong grabs all the bottles and packets of the alpha medicines, pulling open his drawer where his rubbish bin was. He pegs the medication into the bin, slamming the drawer shut. He pants heavily, leaning against the bench on his elbows. He scrubs a hand through his tangled blonde hair, exhaling shakily.
His next shift at work is not going to be fun.
It was lucky Taeyong had a couple of days off work scheduled, so he wouldn’t have to face Kangmin so soon after the whole fiasco at the support group. It’s also lucky that this morning, Seongjin called in sick so it’s just Taeyong opening the library by himself at nine until Mingyu and Juho come in at ten.
Which means it gives Taeyong a bit more time to prepare himself for their reactions upon finding out he’s an omega. Now that Taeyong’s been off all his alpha meds for two days, he’s already seeing a difference. He can kind of smell people now, which in turn means that people can smell him. He wonders what his scent smells like? Or what Juho and Mingyu smell like? It’ll be interesting.
Taeyong unlocks the library doors at nine on the dot after setting everything up for the last half an hour. Luckily, working at a library means there usually isn’t a line of people trying to get in on open; which for that, he is relieved.
He is a bit worried about regulars finding out that he’s actually an omega—how will those people take it? Not that he knows any of them personally, but still, the thought scares him. And Kangmin… Kangmin will be coming in at twelve. Will Kangmin feel guilty for realising Taeyong wasn’t lying about being an omega the other day? He doesn’t want to make his dongsaeng feel guilty.
Taeyong rubs his temple, feeling a headache forming. He sits on one of the cushioned desk chairs behind the library desk, waiting for any customers. He plays on his phone while he waits, every now and then greeting people as they walk in.
Ten o’clock rolls around quicker than Taeyong had wanted, and he immediately bolts for the aisles to hide from Juho and Mingyu. He’ll just keep away from them and put returned books away. One of them (or preferably both), can man the desk. He whips out his phone, opening the group chat he has with only Juho and Mingyu.
ty:
Hey guys, I think I’m sick with a viral infection of some kind so don’t come near me. I’m just gonna put books away.
juhoe:
Are you sure hyung? Do you need to go home?
ty:
No no I’m fine
minigyu:
Are you sure you don’t want help?
ty:
Yeah I’m sure
Luckily they both drop it, and for that Taeyong exhales a sigh of relief. He picks a small stack of books from the returns bin, turning and disappearing into the shelves.
He loses track of time as he’s putting books away, and quickly he’s down to the last book to put away from the returns bin. He frowns, this means he’ll have to go back to the desk, since he has no more books to put away. He groans, walking over to the manga section to put the last book away.
As Taeyong enters the manga section, a dizzying scent of cinnamon mixed with peaches smacks him in the nose. He stumbles, dropping the book and grabbing onto the bookshelf beside him with one hand to stabilise himself. His other hand immediately goes for his head, a pounding pain throbbing behind his skull.
What the fuck? Taeyong thinks to himself as his breathing quickly becomes uneven and heavy, his body growing hot like a furnace. His vision swims, and his legs give out from under him.
Two strong arms grab him at his waist, attempting to stop him from hitting the ground. Taeyong’s body, feeling like lead, drags the person down with him, a yelp of surprise coming from the pretty alpha with blonde hair trying to help Taeyong. He ends up underneath the alpha, the young man gazing down at Taeyong with worried eyes.
That scent…the peachy cinnamon one…it’s so insanely strong it’s driving Taeyong mental. He stares up at the handsome stranger above him, his body temperature rising again. He feels so hot, so sweaty, he just wants to take his clothes off. The alpha gently places a soft hand onto Taeyong’s burning forehead, his cold fingers feeling so refreshing against Taeyong’s fiery skin.
“A…alpha…” Taeyong moans out, his voice working against him.
The man freezes completely, chocolate eyes blowing wide. “Oh…fuck…” he hisses, quickly pushing himself up on his haunches, so he was no longer hovering over Taeyong. Taeyong whines, reaching up to grab the man’s shirt, trying to tug him back down. Why? Taeyong wouldn’t have a clue.
He goes to stand, and Taeyong panics. He sits up, lunging for the alpha. The other male lets out a shout of shock as Taeyong wraps his arms around the alpha’s neck, humming happily. His scent is even stronger now, his pretty neck right in front of Taeyong’s face. He buries his face into the man’s neck, trying to push himself closer.
Taeyong feels something dampening the back of his jeans, and internally, he’s panicking. His body, however, was far too preoccupied with trying to rub himself against the alpha holding him up. The alpha manages to stand up whilst holding Taeyong, groaning as he does so. Taeyong can hear him talking to someone, but it’s all muffled. All he can hear is the handsome blonde alpha’s deep, mesmerising voice.
“…Hey…I think…in heat…” Taeyong hears bits and pieces of what he’s saying as he snuggles closer to the alpha, trying to lick and nip at his neck. “…okay…”
Taeyong panics as he feels two unfamiliar arms wrap around him, trying to take him from the blonde alpha that’s holding him. He cries, immediately wrapping his arms tighter around the alpha’s neck, refusing to let go.
“No!” Taeyong cries into the man’s delicious-smelling neck. “Alpha!” What Taeyong is crying and carrying on about he doesn’t know. It’s as if his body has a completely different mind of its own, and he doesn’t know exactly why.
“…take him…be okay…” Again, Taeyong only can pick up bits and pieces of what the alpha is saying. As long as he can stay in close proximity to this alpha, he doesn’t care.
What the fuck is wrong with me? What am I doing? Who is this guy? Taeyong thinks to himself, his body still clinging desperately to the alpha as he carries him.
Taeyong is vaguely aware of the alpha trying to sit him down in what he assumes is a car seat, judging by how much his body is struggling to fight off the seatbelt. He just wants to sink his teeth into that pretty, delicious-smelling neck in front of him. He hears the alpha trying to soothe him, but he cannot grasp at any specific words. Was he even speaking Korean?
The next thing Taeyong knows, is that he’s lying in a bed. And the bed smells like him. Smells like cinnamon and peaches. An odd combination of scents, yet they somehow fit perfectly together. Taeyong immediately curls into the bed, his body feeling like it’s alit with flames. He moans into the sheets, reaching out for the alpha once again.
Instead of a hand, Taeyong grabs the sleeve of what he assumes is the alpha’s hoodie. The alpha hands it to Taeyong, who happily buries himself into the soft fabric.
Everything after that blurs, and eventually, Taeyong’s consciousness fades away into black.
Taeyong groans, burying his face further into his pillow. Why is it so bright in his room this morning? Surely he didn’t forget to close his blinds again. He rolls onto his back, scrubbing his hands down his face.
Why do I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus? Taeyong thinks to himself, rolling on his side again. Something soft brushes against his nose, and the overwhelming sweet scent of cinnamon and peaches makes him snap his eyes open.
“This isn’t my bed.” He says aloud, bolting upright. He looks around the room—it’s fairly tidy, a few vinyls mounted on the walls, a vinyl player set on top of a set of white drawers, a white desk with plants and a computer tucked away into the corner, the room’s colour palette very black and white. This most certainly is not his room.
He panics, small fragments of yesterdays events piecing together in his mind. “Oh my fucking god.” He vaguely remembers putting books away, then latching onto someone, and being put into a car then a bed. He looks down at himself, noticing he was in different clothes. His blood runs cold as ice.
Taeyong wasn’t…taken advantage of…was he?
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” The deep, mesmerising voice from his memories comes from the doorway, and Taeyong’s eyes immediately shoot over to where a blonde man is standing with a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. He leans against the doorframe, empty hand tucked into the pocket of his black sweatpants.
Taeyong’s autumn eyes widen as he takes his first proper look at the alpha he latched onto yesterday. He’s tall (not too much taller than Taeyong, by the looks of it), with broad shoulders and narrow waist. He seems to have some muscle clinging to those toned arms of his, white shirt clinging to his frame nice and snug. He has light blonde hair that looks so soft to touch, with large chocolate brown eyes and red lips. The alpha offers a small smile, causing a dimple in each cheek to pop—as if this guy couldn’t get more beautiful.
“Who—who are you? Where am I? Where are my clothes?” Taeyong asks all at once, voice shaky. “I swear, if you did anything to me—”
“Woah, calm down,” the man says, placing his mug on top of his dressing table, crossing his arms across his chest. The simple movement makes the muscles in his arms and chest bulge, and it took all of Taeyong’s willpower to not stare with his mouth agape.
Since when do I find alphas attractive? Taeyong thinks bitterly to himself.
“You’re in different clothes because your other clothes are in the wash,” the man says. “You kinda got slick and sweat all over yourself and your clothes, so once you passed out, I removed your clothes, wiped you down, and put your clothes in to wash.”
Taeyong swallows thickly. “Oh.”
“You have a strong grip,” the man chuckles. “I had to really use a lot of force to get you to let go of me.”
“…I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.” Taeyong says earnestly. “I’m sorry for the trouble I caused—er…I didn’t catch your name.”
The man smiles again. “Jaehyun.”
“…right. Jaehyun. Thanks.” Taeyong says bashfully. “That was…embarrassing.”
Jaehyun shrugs, walking over to the bed. He sits on the edge, but far enough away to give Taeyong some space. “It’s fine. Heats are normal, so don’t feel ashamed or anything.”
Taeyong’s cheeks enflame. A heat cycle? Already? And it lasted one afternoon? And it was triggered by…well, Taeyong thinks it was him coming off his meds so quickly.
“Still, I’m sorry.”
Jaehyun waves his hand. “It’s okay. I didn’t catch your name, by the way.”
Taeyong’s cheeks burn hotter. “Oh, sorry. It’s Taeyong.”
“Taeyong…nice to meet you, officially.” Jaehyun says, smiling again. He stands up, stretching his arms above his head. His shirt rises a little, and Taeyong cannot help himself, but his eyes quickly dart down to barely catch the sliver of skin that was revealed. “Would you like some breakfast? I’m sure you’re hungry. You’ve been out since basically lunchtime yesterday.”
As if on cue, Taeyong’s stomach rumbles. He blushes darker, and Jaehyun laughs this deep, melodic laugh. The sound makes Taeyong’s heart skip a beat.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He says, gesturing for Taeyong to follow him out to the kitchen. Taeyong does so, his legs wobbling once he stands. He stumbles a bit, gasping. Jaehyun’s hands are quickly on Taeyong’s waist, steadying him. “Take it easy, yeah?” Jaehyun says, a worried tone lacing his deep voice. Taeyong nods dumbly, the alpha’s touch leaving pleasant burns on his skin. Jaehyun smiles yet again, removing his hands and walking out of the bedroom.
Taeyong follows, his legs quickly waking up. He looks down at himself as he does so, noting how much the other male’s clothes engulf his frame. He didn’t seem that much smaller than Jaehyun, so why does his hoodie hang off him so loosely, and his pants sit low on his waist? He subconsciously buries his face into the soft fabric of the pink hoodie, smelling fabric softener and Jaehyun.
He shakes his head, quickly walking out of the bedroom. “What do you plan on having?” Taeyong asks, voice hoarse.
“Pancakes. I cooked them yesterday morning, so they’ll be reheated. Is that okay?” Jaehyun answers from in the kitchen. Taeyong walks over, seating himself at the bench. It annoyed Taeyong with how casual and calm Jaehyun was being about this whole situation. Has he done this before?
Well, of course. An alpha as beautiful and charming as him (with an addicting, sweet scent, might Taeyong add), would have omegas lining up for miles for a chance to mate with him.
“Yeah, that’s more than okay,” Taeyong answers, biting his lip, trying to ignore the sweet scent of cinnamon and peaches infiltrating his lungs. “Thank you. Really.”
Jaehyun brushes him off again, grabbing a container of pancakes out of his fridge. “It’s okay.” He places the container on the bench, opening the lid. Taeyong watches him with wide eyes as he assembles plates, cutlery and toppings for them to eat.
“Oh…uh, question,” Taeyong stutters out. Jaehyun looks at him as he’s putting a plate of pancakes in the microwave.
“Hm?”
“What…what happened? I don’t remember anything,” Taeyong says quietly. “Well, bits and pieces.”
Jaehyun hums in thought, pressing a few buttons on the microwave. “Well, firstly, you collapsed, and I tried to catch you but you were like literally dead weight and you dragged me down with you.”
“Oh…sorry.”
“Don’t be, I was worried you’d hit your head or something after fainting.” Jaehyun says. “Then you…uh…started moaning and calling me ‘alpha’, so of course then I knew you were going through a heat cycle.” Taeyong buries his face in his hands, his cheeks enflamed. That is absolutely embarrassing. “One of your coworkers came up to us, Juho, I think, to check on you. And when I tried to stand up you latched onto me and wouldn’t let go.” Jaehyun scratches the back of his neck. Taeyong watches the slight movement.
Speaking of his neck, it’s only now that Taeyong is noticing a dark purple blotch on Jaehyun’s skin situated on the junction between his shoulder and neck. He blinks—was that always there?
“He then tried to take you off me, and you freaked out.” Jaehyun continues, snapping Taeyong from his daze. “So I decided the best thing would be to take you home. Only problem was that I couldn’t get a coherent sentence out of you.” Jaehyun laughs nervously. “So I brought you back to mine. I put you on my bed, and gave you my hoodie, and you seemed fine with that, so…I left you until you passed out.”
This must be the hoodie he gave me… Taeyong thinks to himself, glancing down at the oversized hoodie engulfing his frame, cheeks burning. It was incredibly soft, and smells of cinnamon and peaches.
“Oh, right. Thanks for all that.” He stares at the bruise on Jaehyun’s neck again, licking his lips. “Um…another question.”
The microwave beeps, and Jaehyun opens it, grabbing the plate of pancakes out. “Yeah?”
“Did…did I make that mark on your neck?”
Jaehyun stops, hand instantly flying to his neck. His cheeks redden, and so do the tips of his ears.
Oh…cute, his ears blush too.
“Uh…yeah,” Jaehyun clears his throat. “Yeah you did. When we got to the car, and I tried to put you in the passenger side, you uh…bit me.” He laughs nervously. “I mean, I should have expected it. You were in heat. That’s what people do when they’re in heat.”
Taeyong bites his lip, scratching the back of his head. Do they…?
“Now, here, have some pancakes.” Jaehyun says, changing the subject. He slides the plate over to Taeyong, who stares at them. He looks back up at Jaehyun, who has turned to the side to grab some honey, using his other hand to run his fingers through his hair. His hand pushes his hair back off his forehead, and as he does so, Taeyong has a revelation.
“Oh my fucking god,” Taeyong gasps out loud.
“Hm? What?”
“…are you a model?” Taeyong asks.
“…yeah, why?”
It’s him. He’s the model in that Prada TikTok that made him feel all weird to start with. What the fuck.
Taeyong nervously laughs, quickly hopping down from the seat at the bench, spotting his belongings sitting at the end of the bench. “Uh—I gotta go. Thanks for everything.” Taeyong squeaks, dashing for his keys and phone on the bench, before making a run for it to the door.
Jaehyun just watches with wide chocolate eyes, gaze following the omega as he trips over himself putting his shoes on, before stumbling out the front door. He leans against the bench, crossing his arms across his chest.
“What a weirdo.”