Chapter Text
Blood drains from my face as I rise into the arena on my platform. I can’t even make out what the arena is supposed to be as my mind and senses are too frayed and wired to concentrate.
My heart pounds in my little chest, and I’m sure that I’m going to vomit but I feel nothing claw its way up my throat even as I begin to dry heave.
I’m barely able to concentrate on the booming voice of Claudius Templesmith counting down the seconds until we can step off the platform.
My mind is in complete disarray.
I can’t focus my thoughts. I’m just too scared. Too weak. In a matter of minutes, maybe seconds even, I’m going to die.
I’ll never see my friends again. I’ll never see district 12 again. I’ll never see Lady or Buttercup again. I'll never see my mom or Katniss ever again.
That thought alone sends a jolt through my entire being.
Never see mom again? Never see Katniss again???
No!
No, no, no, no, no!
I had to see them again.
They were my whole life.
I was theirs.
I needed them and they needed me.
I needed to win this and go home.
I had to survive this.
Claudius Templesmith’s voice bores into my brain suddenly.
“Ten…”
Ten seconds left of the countdown.
I look around and see twenty-three other tributes getting ready to run.
“Nine…”
Some of them are excited.
“Eight…”
Some of them are determined.
“Seven…”
Most of them frightened.
“Six…”
I am too.
“Five…”
But I have to be brave. Brave like Katniss.
“Four…”
If I’m not, then I will die.
“Three…”
And I will never see Katniss or my mother again.
“Two…”
And that is not an option.
“One…”
I must survive!
The Gong rings and I feel myself leap into the air and off my platform. I still can’t even picture what my surroundings are except for the present Cornucopia that is littered with supplies and weapons.
I’m fast. I’ve always been fast. Faster than even Katniss who’s incredibly fast. Chasing after birds and Buttercup in the meadow has paid off because I’ve reached the cornucopia before anyone else has.
I grab two back packs but stumble for a second after seeing a large shiny blade.
I should pick it up. I should pick it up so I can use a weapon to defend myself, but I don’t want too.
If Katniss were here, she would pick it up, but I just can’t do it. I can’t pick up a weapon with the intent to kill even if it’s self-defence.
I’m a healer. I’m not a killer.
I hesitate too long, and I feel the presence of another tribute reach me.
I freeze.
This is it. I’m going to die.
The tribute is a male but his face is blurry with no distinguishable features, but he has a spear in his hand, ready to penetrate me.
I can’t move.
I can’t think.
I’m just stuck, waiting for the jab that will end my life.
The boy goes to strike me but is stopped by the sudden machete that protrudes from his chest as blood splatters my face and I fall backwards.
The boy who still seems blurry drops to his knees as blood pours from his mouth and chest and with one last look at me, he slumps to the ground dead.
Another blurry tribute, who is ginormous compared to myself, stands behind him, a manic smile on his blurred face as he towers over me already lifting the blood covered machete in the air.
Once again, I freeze unable to make myself think clearly and move.
‘I’m sorry mom. I’m sorry Katniss. I love you!’ I think to myself.
The ginormous tribute in front of me goes to thrust his blade at me but sudden movement comes from behind him and then an animalistic growl leaves his mouth.
Behind him is a female tribute who has stuck a small dagger into the ginormous boy's calf. His attention has turned to her, and I get a sudden spike of energy to pick up my two bags and run.
I can’t see where I’m running but I think it’s a forest or just woods that eerily remind me of the woods outside the fence of district 12.
I’ve been in there enough times, but each time was enough to never want to go back in there again.
The woods were Katniss’s world, not mine.
Still my feet take me deeper and deeper into the unfamiliar territory, adrenaline keeping me going until I’m far away from the bloodbath.
I go for what feels like hours until my feet ache and my sides pinch.
I have to rest.
I stop and look around me, nothing but trees and greenery. The place makes my skin crawl, but I need to rest.
I’m far away from the other tributes, I know I am. I can take some time to rest.
Rejuvenate and build up my strength.
It’s what Katniss would do.
I don’t even look in my backpacks. I simply slump against the bark of a large tree and put one behind my head. Whilst I grip the other one and hold it over my torso.
I’ll rest for five or ten minutes max and then I’ll get moving.
I let my eyes shut despite, the creepiness I feel in these woods, but it helps me feel calm.
I can feel my body ache from all the running and my heartbeat is still racing. I take a few breaths to calm myself more.
Before I even know what’s happening, I’ve drifted off to sleep but I wake with a sudden jolt.
There was a noise.
I take in my surroundings.
Hours have passed I can tell as when I wake, it’s dark.
My heart starts racing again.
The woods look much worse in the dark.
There’s a little light from the moon but that’s about it.
Still, I peer into the darkness willing my eyes to be alert.
Something or someone had woken me up but what?
I sit still for a few minutes and wait for something to happen, but nothing does.
I curse in my head.
Why did I have to wake up like this?
I can’t travel in the night, but I won’t be able to go back to sleep here.
Perhaps I can climb a tree? I’m great at climbing trees. My father and Katniss taught me.
I look around once more and then stand up. My limbs are sore but that’s nothing new for me.
I stretch them out carefully and shake some of my muscles. I pick up my two backpacks and strap them on my back and then begin to scale the tree.
I’m not even a quarter up before I feel a tug on the back of my braided hair.
I go flying off the tree and crash into the ground.
I’m winded.
I can’t breathe.
I’m seeing stars.
I can hear laughter and footsteps all around me.
Pain floods my body and tears stream from my eyes.
Once again, I’m at deaths door.
Katniss and mom as well as my entire district will watch me die.
The careers are talking but I can’t hear what they’re saying. All I know is that they have me surrounded.
The ginormous one from earlier is there and he has the machete again.
He lifts it in the air, and they all start laughing like cackling hyenas.
It becomes too much for me to handle and I scream.
The boy then swings the machete down on me.
I jolt awake!
I’m screaming and crying.
“Shhhhh, you’re ok. You’re ok little duck. It was just a dream. You’re safe. I’ve got you.” Says Katniss who has one arm wrapped around me tightly whilst the other one caresses my hair.
Her voice is soothing and she’s rocking me gently, but I still can’t let go of the vivid nightmare I just had.
I eventually stop screaming but my tears won’t cease.
It felt too real.
“It was me. I was picked for the….”
I start but Katniss interrupts me.
“Prim listens to me carefully. I know you’re scared; I am too but when the reaping starts, your name is only gonna be in the bowl once. One slip amongst thousands. You’re not gonna be picked little duck. So don’t worry about it, ok. It will be over soon, and you won’t have to worry for another year.” Says Katniss still stroking my hair.
I want to believe her but there’s a niggling feeling in my brain that she’s wrong. That my dream is a sign or a warning.
But I don’t tell Katniss this.
She has done far too much for me over the years to make her worry even more.
Katniss has always been my inspiration. She kept me alive when my mother couldn’t. Not that it was my mother’s fault.
Still Katniss kept food in our bellies. She risked her life to go into the woods and hunt like our father did and trade so we could live.
Katniss always does her best to put me first. She won’t even let me take out tesserae.
So, I’m not going to tell her that I believe this coming reaping day is going to be my first and last.
Besides Katniss was right my name hasn’t even gone into the bowl yet. I won’t even go in there until after signing in.
Maybe the odds are in my favour, and I’m just being dramatic. Katniss’s name is in there sixteen times, and she hasn’t been chosen so far. When Reaping day comes tomorrow, she will be in there twenty times.
Even though she hasn’t been reaped yet, it's still a scary thought.
Still, I haft to have hope.
Hope for myself and hope for her.
If I don’t have it, then what is left for us?
Misery! Despair! Nothing!
We already have all of that and then some.
There has to be a light somewhere.
A spark of hope waiting to light the world out of its darkness.
There just has to be.
I simply nod into Katniss’s chest as my words fail me in my current distress.
I want to be brave like her, but I can’t quite manage the task. Maybe someday but not right now so I continue to silently cry in her embrace.
Katniss begins to quietly sing to me.
It’s Deep in the Meadow. It’s the song she always sings to me when I'm ill or I’ve had a bad dream, just like our father did when he was alive.
The song always manages to make me feel calm and does so now.
My tears stop flowing after a few verses and I start singing with her.
My nerves are being soothed now and I start to feel the tiredness kick back in.
I’m so thankful to have Katniss in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without her.
I vow to myself that one day I’ll show her just how much she means to me.
But for now, I let her gentle voice sooth me back to sleep allowing the song to fill me with hope whilst trying to forget that the reaping is only hours away.