THIS IS STUPID

by orphan_account

Summary:

Your name is MITUNA CAPTOR, and after drawing your best friend LATULA PYROPE for the billionth time, you have to COME TO THE UNFORTUNATE REALIZATION THAT YOU'RE CRUSHING. HARD.

Notes:

okay so like here's a few things before we begin

1. bcuz i wrote this i realized i had to make chumhandles for the dancestors so i thought what would be cool is to swap their handles with the same characters they swapped classes with, so like mituna's is CT because his class is borrowed from equius and CT is equius's chumhandle, ect

2. further explanation on the handles;
catastrophicTricks

catastrophic as in like, a reference to his aspect, doom--and then tricks as in like, skateboard tricks? also just because it sounded cool

coulroAcid

coulro comes from coulrophobia, an irrational fear of clowns--basically it's a reference to clowns, since all the purplebloods are clown bitches who probably all go down to clown church. and then acid comes from acid like the drug bcuz he's a druggie lmao

coordinatedGrinds

idk i think i chose coordinated because coordinating is kinda simuliar to calibrating (not really) and i wanted to reference terezi's chumhandle :sob:

and then grinds obvs as in skateboard grinds. cool epic grinds

3. okay and lastly idk i have a silly funny hc that bcuz gamzee switches between lowercase and uppercase letters, kurloz uses all uppercase and tgh uses all lowercase. making gamzee's quirk a combination of both of theirs cuz idk i thought it was silly and funny idk

Your name is MITUNA CAPTOR, and after drawing your best friend LATULA PYROPE for the billionth time, you have to COME TO THE UNFORTUNATE REALIZATION THAT YOU'RE CRUSHING. HARD. You've been trying to convince yourself that YOU'RE NOT CRUSHING, but YOU ARE. You know you are. And you kinda hate it.

It's not like you hate LATULA. You don't. Obviously you don't. You just hate the feeling of being in love. You can't think straight. And that's why you hate it, you hate it because even when you're just trying to play videogames or code or do rad tricks on your skateboard, you're still thinking of her, even when you don't want to, and you're tired of it.

catastrophicTricks [CT] began trolling coulroAcid [CA] at 11:11am.

CT: THR42HTHRU27 W3 H4V3 4 PR0BL3M
CA: OH NO
CA: WHAT'S THE MOTHERFUCKING SITUATION MY MOST WICKED OF BROTHERS
CT: 1'M TH3 M0TH3RFUCK1NG M4N4G3R
CA: AT THE MOTHERFUCKING BREAD STORE?
CT: BR34D
CT: 3H3H3H3H OK4Y BUT S3RI0USLY 1 D0 4CTU4LLY H4V3 4 PR0BL3M.
CA: OH NO
CA: THEN I ASK AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER
CA: WHAT'S
CA: THE MOTHERFUCKING SITUATION?
CT: 0K4Y 20
CT: Y0U H4V3 4 M4T3SP1RT R1GH7?
CA: YEAH
CA: DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE EVEN ASKING BROTHER YOU KNOW I NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT HER
CA: BY THE WAY DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE OTHER DAY
CT: 4H3M.
CA: RIGHT SORRY MOTHERFUCKER ALRIGHT
CA: CONTINUE TALKING
CT: 4LR1GH7. C00L.
CT: 20 4NYW4Y 42 I W42 TRY1NG TW0 S4Y B3F0R3 Y0U 20 RUDE7Y INT3RUPT3D M3
CT: >:(
CT: 1
CT: H4V3 4 CRU2H.
CA: OH SHIT
CA: WHO'S THE LUCKY LADY
CA: OR LAD OR
CA: WHATEVER KINDA BITCHES YOUR INTO
CT:
CT: 74TU74.
CA: OH SHIT
CA: YOU KNOW ME AND MEULIN WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU TWO RECENTLY AND LISTEN MOTHERFUCKER
CA: WE THINK YOU'D MAKE A GREAT PAIR
CT:
CT: R4377Y?
CA: FOR REALS YO
CA: YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT
CT: 0H 2H1T Y0U R4377Y TH1NK 20???
CA: YEAH I DO MOTHERFUCKER
CA: DO IT DO IT DO IT
CT: 0K4Y BUT THAT
CT: 734D2 M3 TW0 MY N3XT QUE2T10N 0F
CT: H0W TH3 FUCK D0 1 T377 H3R
CA: YOU JUST DO MOTHERFUCKER
CA: YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP AND MOTHERFUCKING SLIDE INTO HER DMS
CA: AND TELL HER
CA: "HEY I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU"
CA: AND THEN SHE'LL LOOK YOU DEAD IN THE EYES
CA: METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING SINCE OBVIOUSLY YOUR IN HER DMS AND ALL
CA: AND SHE'S GONNA TELL YOU "OMG ME TOO LET'S KISS"
CA: AND THEN THE TWO OF YOU WILL MAKE OUT. ONCE AGAIN METAPHORICALLY DUE TO THE AFOREMENTIONED DM SITUATION.
CA: YOU MAY HOWEVER TRY TO EMULATE THE ACT THROUGH ROLEPLAYING WITH ASTERISKS OR BY SENDING GIFS OR FUCK MOTHERFUCKER MAYBE EVEN BOTH AND THEN
CT: KUR70Z Y0U 4R3 G3TT1NG 1NTW0 W4Y TW0 MUCH D3T4I7 TH3R3.
CT: N3XT Y0UR G0NNA T3LL M3 TW0 IDK H4V3 CYB3R 23X 0R 20M3TH1NG.
CA:
CT: 3H3H3H3H W0W 0K4Y W3 4R3 3ND1NG TH12 C0NV3R24T10N R1GHT N0W 0K4Y
CA: LOVE YOU TOO MOTHERFUCKER

catastrophicTricks [CT] ceased trolling coulroAcid [CA] at 12:12pm.

You slide your chair away from your desk and stare up at the ceiling in contemplation. You could do that, you think to yourself. You really could just quote and quote, "Slide into her dms" and do that shit. Just straight up and tell her how you feel.

But is that really what you wanna do?

You're not sure. I mean, wouldn't it be better to tell her something like this in person? But then again, sliding her dms means at the very least there's no possibility of you tripping over your words and making a complete and utter fool of yourself. But then again

You kinda wanna see the look on her face when you tell her. Presuming she feels the same way-

Aw, fuck, wait, what if she doesn't though?

What if you tell her and she's all like "Nah fuck that shit, fuck you." then what? Then what happens? Fuck man why does so much go into this

coulroAcid [CA] began trolling catastrophicTricks [CT] at 12:30pm.

CA: HEY I GET THAT MOTHERFUCKING MOIRAIL FEEL THAT YOU'RE ALL UP AND OVERTHINKING SHIT
CT: WH4
CT: H0W TH3 FUCK
CA: NEVERMIND THAT MOTHERFUCKER
CA: ALRIGHT NOW LISTEN HERE
CA: IT'S OKAY
CA: JUST DO WHATEVER FEELS RIGHT ALL UP AND WHERE YOUR HEART'S IN AND AT
CA: AND IF THAT MEANS COMPLETELY DISREGARDING MY PREVIOUS ADVICE
CA: THAT'S OKAY :o)
CA: JUST DO WHATEVER FEELS RIGHT MY MOST WICKED OF BROTHERS
CT:
CT: FUCK M4N
CT: 1 L0V3 Y0U 4ND Y0UR STUP1D CL0WN BULL2H1T
CT: 20 MUCH
CA: :o)
CA: SEE MOTHERFUCKER? THIS IS WHY SHE'LL LOVE YOU
CA: YOU'RE REAL
CT: N0 1'M 4 F1GM3NT 0F Y0UR 1MAG1N4T1ON 3H3H3H3H
CA: NAH MOTHERFUCKER COME ON
CA: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
CA: WHEN YOU NEED TO BE YOU'RE REALLY GENUINE AND YOU KNOW THE LADY FOLK ALL UP AND DIG THAT
CA: ACTUALLY LET ME REPHRASE THAT
CA: I THINK EVERYONE ALL UP AND DIGS PEOPLE BEING GENUINE
CA: SO I THINK
CA: EVEN IF YOU WERE CONFESSING TO SOMEONE ELSE THAT WASN'T LATULA
CA: HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING
CA: THEY'D DIG YOU :o)
CA: I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS I THINK IF YOU REALLY ALL UP AND WANTED TO YOU COULD GET ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING BITCHES
CA: BUT OBVIOUSLY THERE'S ONLY ONE BITCH YOU ALL UP AND WANT AND THAT'S OKAY :o)
CA: BUT DON'T WORRY IS WHAT I'M SAYING MY MOST WICKED OF BROTHERS
CA: NOW YOU GO AND GET THAT BITCH
CT:
CT: TH4T
CT: W42 20M3 0F TH3 M02T 1NC0H3R3NT N0N23N23 Y0U'V3 3V3R 23NT MY W4Y
CT: BUT 1 TH1NK 1 G3T 1T
CT: TH4NK2 KURL0Z
CA: HEY ANYTIME BROTHER :o)
CA: NOW GO GET YOUR BITCHES

coulroAcid [CA] ceased trolling catastrophicTricks [CT] at 12:45pm.

You smiled to yourself thinking about your stupid clown moirail. That was basically a bunch of nonsense but also kinda not? You're not sure, but you think you know now what you've gotta do.

You gotta get the bitch.

> Get the Bitch.

catastrophicTricks [CT] began trolling coordinatedGrinds [CG] at 12:47pm.

CT: H3Y
CT: 4R3 Y0U D01NG 4NYTH1NG L4T3R?
CG: oh sh1t
CG: 1 don't th1nk so
CG: why wh4t's up?
CT: D0 Y0U UH
CT: W4NN4
CT: 1DK G0 TW0 TH3 SK4T3P4RK TW0N1GHT
CT: 4ND TH3N 4FT3RW4RD2 W3 C4N G0 TW0 TH4T 1C3 CR34M PL4C3 Y0U L1K3
CG: oh sh1t m4n!!!!
CG: h3ll y3s!!!!
CG: so wh4t m4n s33 you 4t l1k3 four or someth1ng????
CT: F0UR 12 G00D Y34H
CT: WH4T3V3R W0RK2 F0R Y0U TW0 B3 HON32T 1'M C00L W1TH 4NYTH1NG
CG: cool 8]
CG: w3ll th3n
CG: 1 gu3ss 1'll s33 you
CG: TWOn1ght????
CG: 8;]
CT: 3H3H3H3H Y34H
CT: 1 GU322
CT: TH3 TW0 0F U2…
CT: W1LL B3 S331NG 34CH 0TH3R…
CT: TW0N1GHT
CT: L0L
CG: y2s!!!! th3 TWO of us will prob4bly h4v3 lots of fun 4t th3 TWO pl4c3s you'v3 p1ck3d for us TWO go TWO >8]
CT: FUCK 1 D1DN'T 3V3N
CT: 1 D1DN'T 3V3N R34L1Z3 1 P1CK3D TW0 PL4C32 HO7Y SH1T
CT: TH4T 12
CT: 4CTU477Y PR3TTY H1L4R1OU2
CT: …
CT: … TW0 B3 H0N32T
CT: 3H3H3H3H
CG: lol omg
CG: m1tun4 you 4r3 4 r1ot!!!!
CG: but 1 h4v3 som3 sh1t to do
CG: or should 1 s4y
CG: TWO do? 8;]
CG: so 1'll s33 you l8r!!!!
CT: 3H3H3H3H 4LR1GHT
CT: 233 Y0U L4T3R 74TU74
CT: 0R SH0U7D 1 24Y…
CT: S33 Y0U L8R?
CT: ;)

catastrophicTricks [CT] ceased trolling coordinatedGrinds [CG] at 1:14pm.

> Overthink.

Maybe you're just overthinking, which you probably are since KURLOZ has made you come to the UNFORTUNATE REALIZATION that you have a HABIT OF OVERTHINKING. But you think that, maybe, just maybe, you might actually have a chance with her. I mean, she was using winking emotes and doing your two thing that you do, so surely she must be into you, right? No, no, that's just being presumptuous. KANKRI would be ashamed.

But then again, fuck what KANKRI thinks.

Okay, not actually. He's alright. Just, uh, a little much sometimes.

But whatever, you've got some time to kill. So why not go back to what you were doing before?

> Draw Latula.

You fill up another page of your sketchbook with some sketches of LATULA. You draw her doing some rad skateboard tricks, since you imagine that's what she'll be doing at the skatepark tonight. Gog you're excited. Well, excited and kinda nervous. But it's cool. You're cool. Everything's cool. Yeah.

Everything is just fine.

> Realize What Time It Is.

You suddenly realize that it's almost time to go, so you grab your skateboard and fly out the window because fuck doors, doors are for losers and you are not a loser. Okay, actually, you kinda might be, but that's okay. You can be kinda a loser. Just so long as you're not a full on dweeb. You don't think you could handle being a dweeb. That's just too much.

So, you fly out the window and head down to the skatepark and you meet up with LATULA. You try and impress her with some of your rad tricks but fuck man, she ends up being the one impressing you since she's just so fucking cool and cute and fuck man

Gogdammit why is shit

Why are things the way they are?

You don't know, but it's fine. Later you go to the ice cream shop she likes and the two of you get ice cream. Now's the time, you think to yourself but gog, gogdammit, gog fucking dammit your blood pusher is pounding and you can't think straight and fuck maybe you should've just slid into her dms and

LATULA: h3y, uh????
LATULA: 4r3 you ok4y????
MITUNA: 0H
MITUNA: 0H Y34H S0RRY
MITUNA: 1 W42 JU2T
MITUNA: TH1NK1NG
LATULA: oh sh1t
LATULA: w3ll…
LATULA: wh4t w3r3 you th1nk1ng 4bout?
MITUNA: 0H
MITUNA: W377
MITUNA: 1T'2 JU2T
MITUNA: UH
MITUNA: TH3R3 W42 UH
MITUNA: 4 R342ON
MITUNA: TH4T 1 W4NT3D TW0 UH
MITUNA: S33 Y0U.
MITUNA: TW0D4Y 1 M34N.
LATULA: oh?
MITUNA: Y0U S33 TH3R3 W42 UH
MITUNA: 2OM3TH1NG 1'V3
MITUNA: UH
MITUNA: B33N
MITUNA: M34N1NG
MITUNA: TW0 UH
MITUNA: T4LK
MITUNA: TW0 Y0U 4B0UT.
LATULA: oh
LATULA: oh sh1t d1d 1
LATULA: d1d 1 do som3th1ng wrong????
MITUNA: N0! N0 1T'2 N0TH1NG L1K3 TH4T 1T'2 JU2T

You think back to what KURLOZ had told you.

MITUNA: UM.
MITUNA: H3Y.
MITUNA: 1'M 1N L0V3 W1TH Y0U.

The look on her face is priceless, it's even better than you could have ever imagined it. Suddenly you're very happy that you told her in person, because had you not you wouldn't be able to see the way she sits there, blushing, mouth agape and breath caught in her throat. You love it and you love her and it's so cute and she's so cute and

LATULA: o-oh my
LATULA: gog 1
LATULA: fuck….
LATULA: m1tun4 1….
LATULA: fuck, 1….
LATULA: 1 lov3 you too.
LATULA: or, h3h,
LATULA: should 1 s4y,
LATULA: 1 lov3 you… two?

You laugh, and she laughs and you both laugh and then you look into each other's eyes before leaning over the table and-

Kissing.

The two of you kiss, your forked tongue asking for permission to enter her mouth. Permission is soon granted and you begin to make out, and you taste rainbow sherbet and it's sweet just like she is and it's so fitting and it feels magical.

When you finally pull away, she stares at you and then the two of you just start laughing all over again. You can't help it. You love her, she loves you, you love each other-

And that's really all there is to say on the matter.