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Zoro sits in the ship’s kitchen, gnawing on the same piece of bread he’s been eating for the last ten minutes. He’s not making much headway with it, lost in thought. Something that damn cook said has been rattling around in his brain since this morning. He bites into the bread and chews it angrily, mashing his teeth together. He’s sitting on top of the table with his legs crossed, staring out the kitchen window at the ocean.
“What’cha doing there, buddy?” Usopp asks, making Zoro turn to glare at him. “Whoa, you look pissed. Was it Sanji again?”
Zoro grunts and nods in answer to Usopp’s question.
Usopp laughs and shakes his head. “You’ve got to stop letting him get to you, man.” Usopp walks over to the counter and grabs an apple. He turns to lean against the counter and takes a bite. The crunch of the apple sounds loud in the silence of the kitchen. “So what did he say this time?”
Zoro clenches his jaw. “He said I follow after Luffy like a dog with his master and that we should just rename me Le Petit Chien.”
“Huh?” Usopp says, scratching his head. “What’s that?”
“I don’t know,” Zoro responds, furrowing his brow. “But I don’t like it.”
Usopp sighs and takes another bite of his apple. “That can’t be all that’s gotten you so worked up. You and Sanji are always bickering.”
Zoro rips a piece of the crust off his bread savagely and starts tearing it into pieces. “I’m supposed to stay close to Luffy. I’m his first mate. Plus he’s always getting into trouble. It’s not weird that I like to stay close by.”
“Of course it’s not,” Usopp says, giving Zoro a reassuring smile. “I know Luffy appreciates everything you do for him. Even if you are like his weird shadow.”
“What?” Zoro growls in response. Irritation crawls up his neck like a hand at his throat. His fingers twitch with the want to grab his sword and start swinging it.
“Uh, well, it was just a joke, man,” Usopp responds quickly, waving his arms around. “Don’t be so sensitive.”
Zoro shoves the last of the bread into his mouth and glares at Usopp. He climbs down off the table and leaves the kitchen without another word.
XXX
Luffy is up on the deck doing target practice, trying to see how far he can throw things with his stretch arms. Zoro is laying on the deck, attempting to take a nap, although all of Luffy’s shouting makes it a bit difficult. He does his best to drown it out, trying to zero in on the sound of the waves instead of his captain’s lunacy. He knows he could just go to his own cabin, where he has a nice comfortable hammock. He knows this.
Zoro stays put.
Luffy seems to grow tired of target practice and walks over, sitting himself on Zoro’s stomach. As a rubber man, he practically weighs nothing. Zoro peeks his eyes open to see Luffy’s straw hat blocking out the sun from the position he’s in. It’s almost fitting. Luffy’s smile is almost equally as blinding. “Zoro!” Luffy says, nearly coming out as a whine. “Are you all healed yet? I want to practice fighting but we can’t if you’re still injured.”
Luffy grabs Zoro’s shirt and tugs it up. Zoro’s hand reaches out to grab Luffy’s wrist, but the idiot just stretches it out and continues to pull up Zoro’s shirt. “Luffy!” Zoro says, his tone warning.
“Whoa, that’s such a cool scar!” Luffy says with a low whistle. “All the best pirates have scars. Shanks used to have a bunch over his eye and he was the best! Scars are like a pirate’s badge of honor. It shows how tough you are!”
Zoro turns his face away, soaking in Luffy’s praise more than he ever could the hot summer sun. As much as the fight with Mihawk hurts his pride, hearing Luffy speak like that dispels any negative thoughts. Luffy’s fingers trace the scars and Zoro tightens his grip on Luffy’s wrist.
“Does it hurt?” Luffy asks, the worry evident from his tone.
Zoro turns back to stare up at Luffy. Something funny happens in his chest as Luffy stares back at him with soft eyes and a concerned smile. His fingers twitch again, but this time it’s the urge to touch Luffy, to find out if his skin feels warm to the touch, if it’s soft or coarse, if there’s places Luffy wants to be touched. He shakes his head a little to clear it. “No,” Zoro responds. “It doesn’t hurt.”
XXX
The crew docks on an island to get supplies. Sanji is trying more horrible pickup lines on Nami, Luffy and Usopp are running around like idiots, and Zoro stands against a tree to rest. He’s got one eye closed and the other is tracking Luffy’s movements. This island is said to be uninhabited, but knowing their luck, they’ll wind up being someone there who wants to fight.
“Ah, ever the watchful guard dog,” Sanji teases, sliding up next to Zoro. “Le petit chien.”
“Struck out again already?” Zoro shoots back, noticing Nami is now picking fruit off a tree by herself. “You might as well give up. She won’t fall for your cheesy lines and fancy hair.”
Sanji grins and flips his hair. “You think it’s fancy?”
“Give it up,” Zoro responds, rolling his eyes. “She’s out of your league.”
Sanji chuckles and places a hand over his heart. “Ah, well, the course of true love never did run smooth. You should know that better than anyone.”
“Huh?” Zoro growls, hand grabbing the scabbard of his sword. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Sanji laughs harder. “Oh my, you really are oblivious, aren’t you?”
Zoro’s had about enough of Sanji’s antics. He squares up against him and gives him a hard shove. “What’s that supposed to mean, pretty boy?”
Sanji’s smirk is smug as he comes to stand in front of Zoro. “Have you ever been in love before, Zoro?”
Zoro stills, his eyes immediately seeking out Luffy, who is currently trying to chase a butterfly. Luffy trips over a tree root and tumbles to the ground. Zoro immediately moves to go help him, but Sanji stops him with a hand on his chest. Zoro stares down at it, contemplating breaking Sanji’s fingers, but if he does that then the stupid guy can’t cook, and Luffy would be upset. Plus, that’s all the guy is good for anyway. He could definitely break his jaw though, then maybe he wouldn’t talk so much.
“Ah, so maybe you’re not so oblivious after all,” Sanji says lowly, like the two of them are sharing a secret. “Why don’t you just tell the captain how you feel?”
Zoro grabs Sanji’s wrist and shoves it away. “Mind your own damn business.”
XXX
Zoro finds Nami in her room reading. Kaya had the ship stocked with a couple of books, but so far Nami is the only one to even touch them or so much as glance at them. When Zoro slips in, she places the book down and looks at him, waiting patiently, knowing that he wouldn’t come here unless he really needed something.
Zoro opens his mouth and closes it a few times, trying to think about how to start. “This is stupid,” he finally says out loud, turning around and wrenching the door open.
“Just spit it out already,” Nami says, sighing heavily. “I swear, getting men to talk about their feelings. It would be easier to sail the Grand Line by myself in a row boat.”
“What feelings?” Zoro asks, glaring at her over his shoulder. “I never said anything about feelings.”
“You didn’t have to,” Nami responds, gesturing him over. “Sit down, moron.”
Zoro stomps over and sits next to her on the window sill, a little bench under the window with a few cushions. He leans against one of the cushions, decides he hates it, and pushes it away, leaning against the side of the ship instead. Nami just snorts and shakes her head at him. Zoro crosses his arms and stares down at his boots.
“So?” Nami prompts him, poking him in the arm.
“So what?”
Nami groans and buries her face in her hands, dragging her fingers down her cheeks and then letting them drop heavily in frustration. “So you have feelings…”
Zoro blinks a few times. “I have feelings...”
“For Luffy.”
Zoro’s head snaps up. “No, I don’t.”
Nami rolls her eyes. “Men. I swear. If you’re going for subtlety, I’m pretty sure you missed it by a mile.”
“I like peace and quiet,” Zoro reasons, wiping his suddenly sweaty hands on his pants. He’s faced down some of the fiercest enemies imaginable. Why does he feel like such a coward? Why is Luffy ten times more frightening than the worst pirates on the seas?
"Then you picked the wrong ship," Nami laughs. “You like Luffy. You’re devoted to him, right?”
Zoro glances over at her. “As my captain.”
Nami scoots forward. “You pledged yourself to him,” she says, gently. “Don’t you think that means you also gave him your heart?”
Nami reaches out and places her hand over Zoro’s chest. Zoro swallows thickly and places his hand over hers, but unlike Sanji, he has no intention of pushing her away. With his complicated feelings over Luffy, Nami feels like his only true friend, the only person he can be honest with. “I have feelings for Luffy.”
Nami smiles kindly and wraps her arms around Zoro, giving him a hug. “I know.”
XXX
“Zoro!” Luffy shouts, waving his arms around like a lunatic. “Come here! Come on!”
Zoro walks down the stairs to the main deck, where Luffy is sitting on the railing of the ship. Sanji is in cooking dinner, and Luffy always gets antsy right before dinner, when the smells from the kitchen start to waft into the air. It’s a little surprising that he’s not in the kitchen, waiting for the moment the plate is ready so that he can snatch it up and stuff his face. Zoro hoists himself up onto the railing and sits beside Luffy, letting his legs dangle over the side of the ship.
“Look at those stars,” Luffy says, pointing up at a small cluster of stars. “Don’t they kind of look like a crab?”
Zoro’s eyes follow where Luffy is pointing, but he has no idea what Luffy is talking about. “No.”
“Aw, come on!” Luffy whines petulantly. “That’s his body and then those stars there are his little legs!”
“No, sorry,” Zoro tells him honestly.
Luffy grabs Zoro’s hand and helps him make a fist, keeping just his pointer finger up. Then Luffy lifts their hands and traces the outline of the crab. “There! Now do you see it?”
“Huh,” Zoro says, tilting his head. “I guess it does kind of look like a crab.”
“I told you!” Luffy says, laughing.
Zoro smiles softly, enjoying Luffy’s laughter. It feels like it’s warming him from the inside, like drinking warm sake. It even makes him feel a bit drunk, all fuzzy and bubbly from hearing how happy his captain is. Luffy is still holding Zoro’s hand, even though they’ve lowered them, and it makes Zoro feel a bit shy. He’s never done things like this before. His childhood and adolescence were all spent training in pursuit of his goal. He’s never had a crush on anyone before and all of this feels so foreign to him.
“Whoa, look at that fish!” Luffy says, leaning excitedly over the railing. He leans a little bit too far and loses his balance, arms flailing. Zoro grabs him to keep him from falling into the ocean but overcompensates, throwing them both backwards. They land onto the deck of the ship with a loud thud.
“Damn it, Luffy!” Zoro shouts, heart racing from the sudden spike of adrenaline, rolling over so that he can check that Luffy is all right. “When are you going to learn to be careful around the ocean, huh?”
“I don’t need to be careful!” Luffy yells back. “Because you’re with me.”
Zoro sinks his fingers into Luffy’s curls, telling himself he’s just doing it to check that there’s no bumps on the back of Luffy’s head where they landed. They’re soft and thick in his hand and Zoro doesn’t want to stop. He’s never wanted to kiss anyone before, found no reason for it, no point in it, but he wants to kiss Luffy now. He wants to lean down and taste the salt from his lips. Wants to know if he tastes like the tangerine he ate earlier. He wants, he wants -
“Zoro?” Luffy calls out softly.
Zoro takes his hand away as if he’s been burned. He can’t believe the thoughts that were just running through his head. He’s going to ruin everything. He is going to ruin the crew and get in the way of all their dreams. He has to find a way to stop these feelings once and for all.
Rolling away from Luffy, Zoro pushes himself up onto his feet and walks away, pretending he can’t hear Luffy calling out to him. Dinner is just about done and Zoro walks into the kitchen, sitting down angrily into one of the chairs. Sanji glances over at him and seems to take in Zoro’s sour mood. He pours him a glass of wine and slides it down the table, Zoro catching it easily.
“Do you know anything about cooking, Zoro?” Sanji asks conversationally, starting to plate up the food for five people.
“No,” Zoro responds shortly. He’s not in the mood for a riddle or whatever this is. He scowls at Sanji over the top of his wine glass.
Sanji sighs and wipes the edge of one of the plates where the sauce dripped. “Cooking is all about timing. You don’t let something cook for long enough, you get sick. You let it cook for too long and it gets burnt and ruined.”
“Get to the point, dumbass,” Zoro says through gritted teeth. He’s had about enough of people talking about this, especially when those people are morons.
“Maybe it’s time to take the dish off the stove?” Sanji suggests with a raised eyebrow.
Zoro opens his mouth to retort when Luffy, Usopp and Nami walk into the kitchen for dinner. Nami glances between Zoro and Sanji and then comes to sit beside Zoro. She places a hand on his knee and gives him a look, but Zoro just shakes his head in response. Luffy hesitates for a moment but is ultimately drawn by the smell of the food. Usopp and Luffy grab their plates and sit down at the table, both shoveling food into their faces. Sanji brings the other three plates over and serves them. He chucks Zoro’s plate onto the table and delicately places Nami’s in front of her.
“Luffy, when you become King of the Pirates, will there be a Queen of the pirates?” Sanji askes, grinning over at Zoro.
Zoro attempts to kick him under the table, but he can’t quite reach. He accidentally kicks the legs of the table and the whole thing shakes.
“Queen of the pirates?” Luffy asks, scratching his chin. “Why? Sounds dumb.”
Nami snorts into her water.
“If I become King of the Pirates then Kaya would be my queen,” Usopp chimes in dreamily. “She’d be a great queen.”
“What’s the point in that?” Luffy asks through a mouthful of food.
“Well, Luffy, isn’t there someone you love?” Sanji asks, glancing over at Nami. “Someone that makes your heart want to burst with joy at the mere sight of them?”
“Huh?” Luffy asks, tilting his head with confusion. “Why would I want my heart to burst? Doesn’t that hurt? What’s love, anyway?”
Zoro stiffens beside Nami, every muscle in his body tensing. Nami pats his consolingly on the knee. “Luffy, love is when you like someone a whole lot.”
“Hmm,” Luffy hums as he thinks it over. “I mean, I like all of you a whole lot. So I guess I could say I love my whole crew.”
Zoro’s fist slams into the table before he can think better of it, the cups and dishes rattling with the force of it. He’s lucky he didn’t break the whole thing in half. He grabs his wine glass and the rest of the wine off the counter. “I’ll have a liquid dinner tonight. Good night everyone.”
Zoro heads straight to his room, only thinking about finishing the bottle and then passing out in his hammock. He finishes the wine in the glass and chucks it over the side of the ship in agitation. He uncorks the wine and starts to chug it as he stumbles his way downstairs.
He’s about a third of the way through the bottle of wine when a knock comes at the door. “Go away!” Zoro grumbles, taking another swig from the bottle.
Luffy opens the door with a stupid, determined look on his face. He walks over to the hammock with his hands clenched. “Stop being mad at me!”
“Huh?” Zoro asks, his mouth falling open.
Luffy huffs and starts to get into the hammock with Zoro.
“Wait, Luffy, stop!” Zoro shouts, trying to shove Luffy out. “You’re going to break it, idiot!”
Luffy ignores his protests and continues to climb into the hammock, the thing swinging wildly. Zoro places his hand over the top of the wine bottle so that it doesn’t spill. Luffy flops down so he’s practically on top of Zoro, the hammock leaving them no option but to be pressed together. Any time Zoro attempts to make some space between them, the hammock just forces them to roll back to each other.
“What are you doing?” Zoro asks, turning his face away, because the other option is to be practically forehead to forehead with Luffy, and he’s not sure he can handle that right now.
“I know I can be irresponsible,” Luffy mumbles, face buried against Zoro’s chest, his fingers tightening around the fabric of Zoro’s shirt. “But I don’t have to worry because I know you’ve got my back. You’re my first mate. I rely on you. Is that so wrong?”
Zoro sighs and pats Luffy on the back. “No, it isn’t wrong. It’s what you’re supposed to do as captain.”
“Then why are you angry with me?” Luffy asks, sniffling a little bit.
“It’s stupid.”
Luffy lifts his head up. “Then stop being stupid,” he says, pouting slightly.
Zoro slides his arm around Luffy and holds his captain against him. His cheek is pressed against Luffy’s soft curls and he can feel the warmth of Luffy’s breath against his neck. It’s not so bad, being like this, with Luffy. If this is all it is.
“Yeah, I’ll stop being stupid.”
XXX
Nami is out sunbathing under her tangerine trees, spread out on a blanket with a large sunhat on her head. Zoro walks over and lays down beside her, figuring this is probably the safest place to be for him at the moment.
“You do know that avoiding him on a small ship is almost impossible, right?” she asks teasingly.
Zoro grunts and goes to sit up to leave, the last thing he wants to do is talk about this, but Nami reaches out and pulls him back down. They sit in silence for a moment, the only sound the waves crashing against the side of the boat and a few birds flying around in the distance.
“Is it that obvious?” Zoro finally asks, breaking the silence.
Nami giggles and turns towards him, propping herself up on her elbow. “Considering you’re usually glued to his side? Yeah, it’s pretty obvious.”
Zoro glances over at her and then quickly looks away. He doesn’t know why he’s so embarrassed about all of this. He’s not exactly used to rejection of the romantic sort. He’s used to the disappointment of being bested in combat. That he’s used to. But this isn’t like that at all, because he had to go and fall in love with an idiot who's never even heard of such a thing. So he’s not exactly sure how to deal with it, especially since the more distance he tries to put between himself and Luffy, the more Luffy seems to cling to him.
“What can I do?” Zoro says with a noncommittal shrug. “He’s not in love with me.”
“Who isn’t in love with you?”
Zoro and Nami both sit up quickly to find Luffy standing in front of them. Nami wasn’t joking when she said there was no way to avoid Luffy on this ship. Zoro groans internally and stands up. “It’s nothing, just forget about it.”
“I want a name!” Luffy shouts indignantly. “I’ll kick his ass!”
Looking back on it, Zoro would say this was definitely when his resolve and sanity snapped. “Well, have fun kicking your own ass then!” he shouts back, pushing his way past Luffy. He heads below deck to break into Sanji’s room and find all the fancy liquor he keeps hidden away. He grabs the first bottle he can find and heads down the hall to his own room.
“Way to go idiot,” Zoro berates himself, dropping heavily into his hammock. There’s no way for Luffy to misunderstand this time. The cat is most certainly out of the bag and Zoro can’t take it back. This means Luffy will either have to confront it or ignore it. Zoro isn’t sure which one he’s dreading more. Until Luffy makes up his mind, Zoro plans to drink away his sorrows.
It’s the best plan he’s got.
XXX
If Zoro had known the best way to avoid Luffy was to drink excessively in his room, he would have just done that from the start. It’s been three days and Luffy hasn’t come in once. Zoro would be offended if he had enough brain cells to knock together in his booze filled brain. Instead, he stays drunk and numb, not thinking about Luffy. Not thinking about much of anything except how good expensive alcohol is and trying not to trip and fall on his sword.
On the morning of the fourth day, Luffy finally barges in, catching Zoro off guard enough that he falls out of his hammock. Luffy comes to stand in front of Zoro, bending over so they’re face to face, except Luffy is upside down from Zoro’s perspective, so Zoro ends up looking more at Luffy’s chin than his eyes from this angle.
Something wet falls onto Zoro’s face and it takes him a moment to realize that Luffy is crying. Zoro quickly sits up, immediately regretting that decision, as it feels like all the alcohol swishes around in his brain, making him dizzy. This is going to be one hell of a hangover. He’d be better off just staying drunk to avoid it. He’s getting excellent at avoiding things. “Luffy?”
“I don’t understand,” Luffy says, wiping furiously at his cheeks. “I don’t understand the difference between liking someone a lot and loving them and no one can explain it to me. Not even Nami, and she’s really good at explaining things like that to me. I know you’re mad at me, but I can’t fix it, because I don’t understand. ”
Zoro stares up at his captain and feels this weight like a stone in his stomach. Sighing, Zoro gets to his feet and pulls Luffy into a hug. Luffy grips the back of Zoro’s shirt and proceeds to sob against Zoro’s chest. “It’s okay,” he says softly. “You don’t have to understand.”
“But you’ll keep being mad at me if I don’t, right?” Luffy asks miserably.
“No,” Zoro responds, patting Luffy on the head. “I’m not mad anymore. Don’t worry about it.”
And it’s the truth. Zoro knows now that it isn’t necessarily that Luffy isn’t in love with him, he just can’t tell the difference. Being loved as a first mate and crew member is fine, he’ll learn to live with that, because the alternative is not living with Luffy. That part is non-negotiable.
Zoro gives one last pat to Luffy’s head and pulls away. “I should get washed up. I stink of booze and I should probably get something to eat.”
Zoro turns to leave his room for the first time in over three days and Luffy stretches out his hand and grabs his wrist. “What would it mean?” Luffy asks quietly. “What would it mean to be in love with you?”
“I don’t know,” Zoro responds, glancing over his shoulder at Luffy. “I’ve never been in love before, well, you. That didn’t pan out so good for me.”
Luffy lifts his head, a determined look on his face. “Would it mean that you’re my favorite person?”
Zoro blinks a few times. “I suppose so.”
“And would there be more hugs involved?”
“Uh, sure?”
Luffy narrows his eyes and points his finger at Zoro. “Will being in love with you get in the way of me becoming the king of the pirates?”
The side of Zoro’s lip twitched with the threat of a smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
Luffy’s face breaks out into a huge grin. “Okay, then I’m in love with you!”
Zoro gawks at his captain, his mouth hanging open in surprise. “Dumbass, you can’t just decide that in a split second!”
Luffy’s smile drops. “Why not? How long did it take you to love me?”
Zoro groans, scrubbing his hand down his face. There’s a complicated question if Zoro ever heard one. “I don’t know. It just sort of happened.”
Luffy stomps over and stands in front of Zoro. “Well it just sort of happened for me too! We’re the same.”
“We’re not -” Zoro stares down at Luffy, who’s looking up at him with this big, hopeful smile. You’re a sucker, Roronoa Zoro, he thinks to himself, knowing that he’s going to give in to his captain. “So you’re in love with me, huh?”
“Yup!” Luffy says, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet. “Sure am!”
“Then kiss me,” Zoro challenges, raising an eyebrow at Luffy.
Luffy chews his bottom lip for a moment, a slight blush tinging the tops of his cheeks. He surges up onto his tiptoes and presses a kiss to Zoro’s cheek. “Like that?” Luffy asks, putting his hands on his hips in an effort to look confident.
Zoro chuckles. “No, dummy, like this.” Zoro gently cups Luffy’s face in his hands and pulls him forward, gently pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. When he pulls away, Luffy is staring at him all wide-eyed. Zoro wonders if maybe he just made a massive blunder when Luffy starts to laugh.
“Whoa!” Luffy says, grabbing Zoro by the biceps. “That was awesome! That’s what people in love do?”
Zoro shrugs. “As far as I know.”
Luffy shuffles closer to Zoro and smiles. “Do it again.”
Zoro smiles back and obeys his captain’s wishes.