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Friday Night
'Anyway…' Penelope continued, taking yet another sip of her wine, she frowned at the way her glass was almost empty already. 'I'm just saying, what's so good about cats?'
Drew, her date, shrugged. 'Some people like cats.'
She scowled and emptied her wine, reaching quickly for the bottle to top herself up again. Drew had barely touched his so she didn't bother with his glass.
'Colin is not a cat guy.' She said firmly, as though it were decided. 'He's not even really a pet guy. He's away too often . The cat would end up with me and Eloise permanently anyway.'
'Right. And Colin is…?' her date trailed off, waiting for her to fill in the gaps.
'Eloise's brother.' She reminded him. She had gone over all of this at the beginning.
'Is that all?'
'Well, he's now also the guy getting a cat with his girlfriend of two days.'
That was an exaggeration. Colin and Marina had, unfortunately, been together for longer than two days. They met on Colin's recent trip to Prague. Apparently they took the same walking tour of the city and had 'bonded' over how terrible their guide was. How utterly charming.
'Are you sure it's not just the girlfriend getting the cat, and he's just there for support.'
'No! No. He very much said that they were getting a cat, and they were going to the shelter to pick one and they couldn't decide on a name.' She took another big sip of wine. It was already going to her head where the hell was the bread they'd ordered?
'So, how long have you liked Colin for?' Drew asked.
Penelope's eyebrows shot up high. 'Excuse me?'
'Colin, how long have you liked him for?'
'I don't like him.' She responded quickly.
'Penelope, you have a, if I do say so myself, hot date at a nice restaurant tonight and all you have talked about is how much you hate that this guy is getting a cat with his girlfriend.'
'That's not true.' She started to argue. 'I have also talked about… the superiority of garlic bread over any other kind of bread.'
'You're not making the point you think you are, babe.' he said, though she did detect a trace of a smirk on his face. At least he was amused by the situation, rather than walking out on her.
'I'm sorry.' She sighed. 'I've been a shit date.'
'It's not so bad. I've always wanted to try this place out, and now I can say I have. It's also mildly entertaining, which cannot be said for all shit dates.'
'Right.' She took another drink and frowned, how was she almost done with this glass too?
'Anyway, if you want my advice.' he paused, letting her respond first, before he offered unsolicited advice to her. She could appreciate that.
'Please, go right ahead.' She said dryly.
'You need to get some closure on this guy.'
'Closure?' She asked.
'Yes, closure.'
'How do I do that?' she found herself reaching for the wine bottle again and topping herself up. Briefly, the thought that she would regret it the following morning crossed her mind, but she ignored that pesky thought and carried on.
'Have you ever spoken to him about it?' he asked. 'That helps with closure sometimes.'
'Drew Debling, you are a genius.' She said. 'That's exactly what I need to do.' She reached for her and started fishing around for her phone.
'I didn't mean-' he started, but was cut off with her aha! As she found her phone.
'Closure city, here we come.' She took another large sip of her wine, before finding Colin in her contacts and dialling. 'Voicemail.' She said to Drew as she waited for Colin's voicemail message to finished.
'Colin, hi, it's me, Penelope. I just wanted to call you, to tell you that I'm so happy for you and Marina and you cat, whatever you decide to call it. I hope you are both very happy with your choice of feline. I'm also on a date, and who knows, maybe we will get our own cat some day soon.' She winked over at Drew, proud of her genius on that comment. 'Which means, that I am officially over you. Yes, you heard that right, I am over you. So you can live your happily ever after and I will get mine. Who knows, maybe it's even Drew. So yeah… I just wanted you to know. Have a good day!'
She hung up.
She smiled at Drew. Pleased with herself. 'How was that?'
He shrugged. 'As long as you're happy.'
'I am.'
'Then great.'
Their food arrived at that moment, and Penelope had never been more grateful for a bowl of pasta to placed in front of her. 'Fucking finally.' She muttered.
She let Drew talk, while she ate. She didn't really pay much attention to what he was saying. The vodka pasta she'd ordered was hitting the spot in ways she hadn't anticipated.
Eventually their food was finished, and so was the wine.
'So,' Drew said. 'I'll be honest, I don't really think this is going to go anywhere.'
'I suppose not.' She had to admit.
'But, I still think you are insanely hot, and if you are up for some super casual sex we could?'
Penelope let her eyes study his face. He was attractive with his blonde, tidy hair, stubble around his face and mischievous blue eyes. It wouldn't be too bad, would it? She found herself shrugging.
'It's been a while for me, so, yeah, why not?'
It was with those romantic words that she found herself splitting the bill with him, and taking an uber to his Notting Hill flat.
The sex was fine. Nothing mind-blowing, but she enjoyed it all the same.
Saturday Morning
What Penelope did not enjoy was the following morning. First it was the pounding headache, like the little drummer boy had taken up residence in her brain, and the sunlight streaming into her eyes did nothing to help the situation. Then it was the way her mouth felt as dry as the Sahara desert. Finally, as she opened her eyes it was the fact that she did not recognise where she was at all.
It took finally noticing the blonde hair peeking out from under the covers beside her that she realised she was at Drew Debling’s apartment, and that she'd been on the date the night before, and that she'd slept with him.
She groaned and forced herself out of bed. She managed to find her underwear (strewn oh so sexily across the floor), then her dress. She hoped he lived alone as she crept out of the bedroom trying to find the bathroom.
If he did have roommates (she couldn't remember, had they talked about that?), she didn't encounter them and was safely in the bathroom where she could sort herself out.
One look in the mirror and she groaned, again. She looked a mess. Her hair was wild and all over the place. Mascara and eyeline smeared down her face, and lipstick stains smudged around her lips. Wonderful.
She couldn’t' find a washcloth, so used toilet paper and water to try and sort out her face. There was no hairbrush in sight, but luckily she permanently had a hair tie on her wrist so she pulled it up into a bun and hoped the knots she would have to deal with later didn't get too out of control.
She roamed the living room and kitchen, but couldn't see any sign of her bag, so it must still be in his room. She tiptoed back in, hoping he was still asleep and she could just sneak out.
He wasn't.
'Morning.' He said softly. She wondered for a moment how he looked so good, but then remembered that she was the one who drank all the wine. He'd barely had the opportunity to touch it.
'Morning. I um, I'm just grabbing my things and I'll be out the door.'
'You can stay for breakfast if you want.'
'That's ok. I really think it's for the best that I go.'
'Ok.'
'Thanks for the um, date? I suppose. I'll see you around.' She said.
'Yeah, see you around.'
She got an uber back to her apartment. It was technically walkable, but not with the way she was currently feeling.
As she opened the door to the apartment she shared with Eloise, all Penelope could think about was a hot shower, changing into pyjama's and crawling straight back into bed. So deep in her mission she was, that as she filled up a glass of water in the kitchen she didn't hear keys in the door. Nor she did hear the door open until a familiar voice floated over to her.
'Oh, hey Pen.'
Startled she turned and looked towards the door, where Colin stood, taking in her appearance.
Oh how she wanted to die.
'Hi Colin.' She didn't know what else to say.
'You uh…' she felt his eyes roam over her and she prayed to every god she'd ever heard of to allow the floor to swallow her up. She definitely looked like she'd just come home on a walk of shame after a one night stand. 'Did you just get in?' he settled on finally.
'Yep.'
'Oh. Right. I didn't know you were dating anyone.' He said.
She met his eyes, and he was looking at her with a puzzled expression.
'I'm not.'
'Oh.'
She watched him take a deep breath, before he finally looked away from her.
'Well, I just came by to get my phone, I accidentally left it here yesterday.' He said. He started looking around the room for it, before he found it sitting on the coffee table. 'Here it is.'
Penelope just watched, unable to think of a single thing she could say in the moment. She still wanted to die at the thought of Colin seeing her looking such a mess. Her hair was practically a birds nest on her head, her dress was definitely in crooked and there was only so much help toilet paper and water had been with the panda eye situation she was rocking.
'Hey, you tried to call me?' he said.
'I tried to…' she trailed off.
Oh fuck.
In a sudden flash what she'd done came back to her. She had completely forgotten, most of the night was a drunken haze. The voicemail she'd left. The things she'd said.
'You left me a voicemail.' Colin was looking at her, his eyes running over her body once more, this time filled with concern, searching for any sign of distress. 'Was everything ok? Are you ok?'
'I'm fine.' She said. 'I had a bit to drink. It's probably for the best that you just delete that.' She said.
'Delete it?'
'It was probably just a butt-dial. Nothing important.'
'Well hey, if drunk Penelope was leaving me a voicemail, now I have to hear it.' He laughed. 'I feel like drunk Penelope is this mysterious enigma I never get to see.'
That was very intentional on her part. She didn't trust herself to be drunk around him. Who knows what she might do? Case and point in the form of a voicemail, still on his phone.
'Please, don't.' She pleaded.
'Nope, too late!' Colin grinned as he unlocked his phone and brought the voicemail up.
She was so fortunate that he even put it on speaker. She wanted to die.
'Colin…' She warned.
'Colin, hi, it's me, Penelope,' The tinny version of herself through his phone speaker started.
Penelope didn't think, she just lunged. She reached for the phone and tried to grab it out of Colin's hands. He was too quick and held the phone up, using his height to his advantage in the situation and held it way out of reach.
'I'm so happy for you and Marina and you cat, whatever you decide to call it' past her continued.
Colin's smile dropped slightly at the mention of the cat.
'Colin, please.'
'I hope you are both very happy with your choice of feline. I'm also on a date,'
She lunged at him again, the only thought in her mind was get the phone and so, not thinking it through, she jumped up onto his back in a desperate attempt to gain some height and get closer to the phone so she could end her suffering before it was too late.
'Give me the phone!' she was desperate at this point.
'Nope.' Colin popped the 'p' loudly, and swung around to try and get her off him.
'Colin!'
'Which means, that I am officially over you. Yes, you heard that right, I am over you.'
She could feel the way Colin's entire body changed as her voice continued to come through the phone's speaker. He slackened. The hand with the phone dropping to be closer to him. It was within her reach now, but there was no point. The damage was done.
'So you can live your happily ever after and I will get mine. Who knows, maybe it's even Drew. So yeah… I just wanted you to know. Have a good day!'
Penelope slowly let herself drop down from his back. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the way Colin remained staring at his phone in shock.
'Colin, I-'
He held a hand up to her to stop her.
'No, I… I need to…' He was pressing play and the voicemail started over again. 'Colin, hi, it's me, Penelope,'
She groaned and moved herself to the couch where she sank down and buried her face in her hands, trying desperately to ignore what was coming through the phone, for the second time.
'Have a good day!'
'Pen?'
She looked up at him. His face was red, and he looked confused.
'You said that you were… over me?' he asked.
She didn't say anything. She couldn't.
'When, um, when were you under me?'
She buried her face in her hands again.
'Pen?'
She shook her head. 'I'm too hungover to have this conversation with you Colin.' She knew he voice was probably muffled from her hands, but she didn't care. 'Can't you just delete it and we pretend nothing ever happened?'
'I can't pretend this never happened.'
Why was he being so stubborn about it? Why was it that Colin Bridgerton seemed intent on torturing her every second of her existence?
'Yes, this time you can. Ok. Please. Just… delete the message, take your phone and leave. Don't you have a new kitten to be bonding with anyway?'
'We didn't get the cat.'
'You didn't?'
Colin shook his head. 'It didn't feel right.'
'Oh.' This time she raised her head to look at him.
He looked tense, his whole body was rigid and he had a white knuckle grip on his phone as though it were some lifeline he was holding on to.
'What do you mean you're over me?' He pleaded.
'Colin, I really don't-'
'Pen, please.'
She sighed. The damage was already done, so what was properly revealing the truth at this point? She might as well. It wasn't like there was any more to lose.
'I like you. Ok? Is that what you wanted to hear? I have for a long time, in fact. I'd just plucked up the courage to finally talk to you about it when you got back from Prague, but you came back with Marina and, I’d clearly left it too late.'
She stood up from the couch.
'I don't need to hear your rejection. The sympathetic 'I don't want to ruin our friendship'. I'm well aware you are happy and that I didn't stand a chance anyway. Please, just leave and we'll pretend this never happened.'
She didn't allow him to respond. There was no way to retreat to her room without brushing past him, so she did and stalked off to her bedroom. She closed the door firmly behind her, and hoped he wouldn't be stupid enough to try and follow her.
He didn't.
She collapsed onto her bed and cried.
Saturday Night
Colin paced his apartment for the hundredth time and pressed play on the voicemail she'd left him once more.
He'd lost count of how many times he'd played it.
Penelope was over him.
Over him
He didn't know she liked him in the first place.
She had liked him for a long time. Those were her words. He wasn't going to forget for a long time.
Penelope liked him.
What?
Colin was having trouble processing the information. How could this be possible? How could he have missed this? How could he have wasted so much time trying to find someone that compared to her when she was right there all along?
He thought back to the first time he truly noticed Penelope.
It was her nineteenth birthday and they were at a club. She wore the tightest little black dress he'd ever seen and they danced together. He'd held her close to him, enjoying the way her curves moulded to his body. How soft she felt. He had eventually had to excuse himself, because any moment she was going to noticed how hard he was and be absolutely horrified.
She didn't need her best friends older brother creeping on her like that.
But after that night, a friendship had emerged and he wormed his way into her life in a way he was very pleased with. As he got to know her better, he only grew more and more attracted to her. He realised that once you broke past the shy insecurity, Penelope was loyal to a fault, kind, wildly intelligent and so funny. No one made him laugh the way she did with her keen observations on the world around her.
When he was in London they did everything together.
For a while he had thought… maybe…
But then he'd come home from a trip to Thailand and there was this guy.
She had a boyfriend. His name was Harry and he was an idiot.
Colin had been baffled as to how she couldn't see it. They guy was honest to god stupid and Pen was smart, the smartest person Colin knew. He couldn’t understand how she put up with him. Unfortunately, one night that question was answered for him when he had to suffer through a conversation with her and Eloise about how great he was in bed.
He'd thought he was going to throw up all over the table of the café they were at.
By the time he got back from Japan they’d broken up. But it didn’t matter by that point. He’d started dating a girl Sarah. She was tall, skinny and blonde, he had never really been sure if he chose her polar opposite on purpose or not. Colin didn’t end up liking her much, but he needed something to help him move on since Penelope didn’t seem to be interested in him.
After Sarah there was Rachel and then Marina.
He sighed at the thought.
Marina…
He’d frozen at the animal shelter. Marina had stood there with a fluffy grey kitten, cooing over how cute it was and asking Colin what he thought and all he had been able to think was what am I doing buying a cat? I’m never home. He couldn’t remember what he’d said about his changed mind, but they left the shelter with no cat and Marina didn’t say a word to him on the way back.
In fact, she still hadn’t said a word to him.
Pen had liked him for a long time. She had been about to tell him. He had been so close to having what he wanted and he didn’t even know it.
He’d be damned if he missed out for a second time.
Sunday afternoon
Penelope felt on the verge of feeling human again.
Her body no longer ached and the headache had finally disappeared. The only thing that remained was the crushing humiliation of the results of her drinking. Somehow, she had a feeling it would take a long time for that to ease. If it ever did.
She was trying really hard not to think about it. It didn’t get any better, there was no positive spin that she could try to find to make herself feel better about it. She was mortified and would continue to be for a long time.
The friendship she’d had with Colin would be gone now. There would be no way he would want to have anything to do with her now.
Instead of dwelling on it, she tried to salvage what she could of her Sunday afternoon. She instead found a pair of leggings, and a plain tshirt, and her headphones. Surely there was nothing a hot girl walk couldn’t fix?
Just as she was tying her laces in preparation for leaving there was an urgent knock at the door. Whoever was there was pounding on their front door like their life depended on it and Penelope frowned.
Against her better judgement she opened the door and Colin barged his way in. He looked frantic, and wild eyed before his gaze fell on her and he softened. His body seemed to relax a little and his eyes gentled.
‘Colin?’ She squeaked out.
‘Pen.’ He was breathing heavily.
‘Did you run here?’
‘Yeah, yeah I ran.’ He said.
‘Why?’
‘I needed to see you.’ His breathing was starting to steady out.
‘What for?’ She braced herself, but surely, surely not even Colin Bridgerton would sprint just to make sure she got a proper face to face rejection. That would be too absurd, right?
‘I needed to,’ he stopped himself for a moment.
‘To what?’ She promoted.
‘Marina and I broke up.’ He said.
‘Ok.’ She frowned at him, confused. They were just about to get a cat. Why would they have broken up?
‘I broke up with her.’ He said, providing Penelope with information she hadn’t realised she’d been waiting for.
‘Why?’ The question slipped out before she could stop it.
Colin straightened himself and stared directly into her eyes. ‘I don’t want you to be over me. I don’t want… I don’t want you to be over me.’ He repeated frantically. ‘Please, Pen I-‘ he stopped himself.
‘What do you mean?’ She asked.
He shook his head. He took a step forward and was in her space, they were almost touching. He brought a hand up to her cheek and caressed it with care she’d never experienced before. Like she was something precious.
‘You are so beautiful. You know that right?’
She shook her head.
He brought his head down to hers, his forehead against hers, nose to nose, his breath ghosted over her lips.
‘I can’t live without you.’ He whispered.
‘You don’t have to.’ She said.
She felt, rather than saw, a small smile on his lips, before he finally closed the gap and brought his lips to her in a soft kiss. It was cautious and full of question, but as soon as she responded those questions were answered and the caution disappeared.
His lips parted against hers, his tongue flicked against her lower lip and she sighed into the feeling. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in closer to her. He cradled her head in his hands as he continued to move his lips against hers. He nipped gentle at her lower lip with his teeth and she let out a moan at the sensation.
She had dreamt many times about what it would be like to kiss Colin Bridgerton and this far surpassed anything she’d been able to conjure with her imagination. His hard body pressed up against hers. The way his hands roamed over her body as though he were trying to memorise every dip and curve. She took the same liberties and let her hands explore the hard contours of his body. He felt incredible under her and she couldn't believe this was happening.
Eventually they had to part, but Colin kept his forehead against hers, as though he was truly unable to go too far from her, lest she disappear.
'Would you go on a proper date with me?' he asked. 'If we're going to do this I want to do it properly.'
She nodded against him. 'I would love to go on a date with you.' She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face.
'Tonight then? I'll come by at seven.'
'I already can't wait.' She said, then smirked at him. 'And who knows, maybe if you play your cards right, tonight I actually will be under you.'