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Jack is no stranger to wounds. It has been a long time since he bled true red blood, but he does get wounded even now. His blood is blue and as cold as his body, barefoot in the snow. It took him a long time until he understood, that being cold all the time was not normal and that it was dead people usually, corpses laid out still that were cold and life less. Lifeless.
It took a long time until he met other seasonal spirits. He did not really belong with them, but he fell within their realm. The other winter sprites did not really like him and after the first time he bled blue, back torn by fractured ice, he had never approached them again. He was no stranger to injury- blood blue- and he took care of himself. Wounds healed, blood dried, pale skin knitted itself together. He does not need anyone but himself.
The moon has made him. He knew it, he just did not know that he had plans for him. Always warped in silence, the man in the moon had never once talked to him. And then the Guardians had called him to tell him that he, he Jack Frost, was supposed to be one of them. He did not understand, not after the years and years they had called him annoying, stupid, a good-for-nothing. At least Bunny did not seem happy about it either.
He did not understand.
He just knew that he finally wanted to belong.
Pitch throw him down the crevasse, back splitting, blood blue. He held Baby Tooth to his chest, praying he could keep herself just long enough. He had destroyed enough. He wished that they had never come to him, never asked him to be a part of something that was so much greater than him. He had known that he was not worth it. He had always known and yet he had let himself be drawn in and now he knew what it felt like. To be close to people. It had not been long, not enough to get past the sarcastic shield he had built for himself, not enough to even know close to anything about these people, but they had been willing to try and that had been more than anyone had ever done for him.
His back stings, blood seeping through rough fabric. It does not really matter in the face of Pitch and the light of a first believer. It does not matter anyways. He can take care of himself. Jack does not tell the Guardians. He knows he has redeemed himself somewhat. He also knows he cannot appear weak.
Jake knows many things and nothing at all. He knows the voice of the winds and the crystalline structure of ice blooming. He knows the stars and their ways over the night sky and how to make children laugh like there is no tomorrow. He knows the first small flowers blooming when Spring comes around and the brittle dead leaves of Autumn gone. He knows dark pines and people screaming into the night. He knows how to sow wounds and keep still and never move on, frozen in place.
He does not know, how to live with others. So, he does not.
There is a place for all of them at North’s. It feels strange to walk these halls, to have an own room after centuries of being thrown out by disgruntled Yetis. The others do not use their beds, so Jack does not either. He tells them goodbye and runs with the wind. There are children who wait for snow, whom he can entertain with games he can now actually participate in. His shoulders ache, but he does not let that stop him. He had worse, he tells himself. He had not. It does not matter.
♢♢♢
He returns to the North Pole after a week. They want to talk about what happened, about the children and Pitch. They want to get to know him, the message said. This time they do not kidnap him, but give him the time to come to them on his own terms. He supposes he is grateful for that if for nothing else.
At the time the message reaches him, he lies curled up at frosted roots, ice blooming around him even though Spring has now long come. The arrival of the other season sprites has not helped, not when he cannot move and the world gets warmer. The wind is concerned for him, drifting around his prone form. He has not moved for a day or so, but who is counting. He feels sick, cold sweat and burning skin. He is not supposed to burn.
The wind brings him to the North Pole and he wants to enjoy the ride but he cannot, back screaming in pain. It is enough to drive tears into his eyes and he hates it, feeling helpless. He should know better by now.
By the time he has arrived the others are already there, the workshop decorated in blinding colors as always. The chit chat with each other. Not like friends, really, Jack observes. But like old coworkers reunited after long. He does not know why that is, he had assumed they would see each other more often. Still. There was a familiarity there for which Jack ached.
North spotted him first, perched in the rafter as he was. “Heyho Jack!” The boisterous voice alerted the others to his presence as well. There were black spots dancing at the outlines of his vision. “Hey Jack,” Toothiana was a storm of exited giggles and colorful feathers. “I have someone for you here,” Jack fought to keep his balance, fought to put that grin on his face, the others knew. “Really? For me? I am touched.” He could see Bunny narrowing his eyes across the room at him. The fairy stretched out her hand and revealed “Baby Tooth!” Even with his back all torn and his head spinning he scooped the chirping fairy up. “Oh, hi little buddy,” He glanced at Toothiana and she smiled.
“She missed you.” To be missed. What a strange concept. Jack did not think, he had ever been missed before. The room was spinning now, but Baby Tooth was in his hand, there were black spots dancing, his head pounding- Jack stumbled. “Jack?” Toothiana was up in his face immediately and he stumbled back further.
“I don’t feel so good, I think-” Whatever he wanted to say next was cut off, when the world faded around him. There was a loud shout and then hands wrapped around his shoulder, trying to keep him upright. “Jake?” Hands hitting his back, pain exploding. He gritted his teeth, kept the scream from being ripped from his throat. “Jake!”
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
“I just need,” He did not know what he needed, but for the pain to end would be a great start already. “I need to sit down, it’s gonna be fine in a sec.” He could not see their faces, but then North squeezed his shoulder in what must have been meant as a gesture of reassurance and Jake screamed, world falling away from him. There was so much heat and he did not know why. Jake was supposed to be cold and dead, was supposed to be like ice. He did not like the heat.
His body crumpled, stars fading. Someone screamed.
When he woke up, it was in a bed. It felt soft. He did not know why that did surprise him; he knew beds were soft. It just had been ages since he had slept in one and at the time, he had they had not been like this. Why was he in a bed? The answer came to him in flashes of pain and bright lights. He fainted. In front of the Guardians. Jake shot up.
“Shit!” The pain came back immediately, tiny wounds tearing again, blue blood seeping. “Hey!” Someone grabbed him, kept him from standing up. “Chill out Frostboy,” He blinked. Bunny sat next to the bed, legs splayed out in front of him, a lazy smile that did not quiet reach his lips. Jake stopped. “What happened?” His back was wrapped in soft fabrics, cold soft fabrics, and he wanted to sink back and relax. There was still heat pulsing beneath, but it was so much better.
Bunny raises an eyebrow at him in question. “Atcually, that is what I wanted to ask you Frostboy. Because I sure as hell did not faint in the middle of North’s workshop, so we could find their back was a torn up, infected mess.” His breath leaves Jack’s lungs, unable to say anything. “It’s you,” Bunny says, as if he needs any clarification. “What happened?”
He cannot look at him, cannot bare to see the disappointment there when he had fought that he might finally find something here. “I’m sorry.” Bunny scoffs. “Don’t see what you got to be sorry for when it’s your back being all split like someone took a cheese grater over you. Now I will ask again: What happened?”
Words seem to be impossible. “I made a mistake. I am sorry- I- I can still do this.” Whatever “this” was. He did not know himself, but in some ways, that made it even harder. He could not yet say, what it was he would lose, unable to put into words what it was that made his heart feel a little warmer.
“Jack- kid. I feel like we are talking about different stuff here. I, by what I mean we, just want to know why you did not come to us, when someone hurt you. We only want to know what happened.” Jack shakes his head. It cannot be that easy, can it? “Jack you are a Guardian. When you get hurt you come to us. You know that don’t you?” He crooks his head, heart leaping. “I am sorry?”
“You know, I start to really not like those words from your mouth kid. I like the mouthy you a lot better you know,” The words bring a weak smile to his lips besides himself. The wait in silence for a little longer, until he cannot bare it. “Pitch threw me down a crevasse.”
“Pitch?!” Bunny had jumped up and so did Jack. “Chill Bunny, yes!” He could not understand the sudden mood jump. “You did not tell us about,” He sighs. “Whatever. Jack listen: You can come to any of us. At any point. When you are hurt, we help you.” It is a strange feeling that blooms in his chest. “You mean like friends?” He does not think he ever had friends. Bunny sighs. “Kid, I think that is the saddest thing I have heard in a while.”
Jake is silent, because what does one say. “I-” he crooks his head and then there is a smile tugging at his lips, a lopsided smile. “Can you send in the others?” He knows now that feeling, remembers it from a time before cold moon light and icy cold. It took him a while to sort it out, the stranger and unfamiliar warmth. But he remembers, what families are supposed to feel like. Not by blood, but the promise of companion hood.