Chapter Text
As if she wasn’t struggling trying to memorize and, most importantly, understand all the medical information that Yaga basically dumped on her. As if she wasn’t struggling trying to categorize massive amounts of jujutsu medical books because, apparently, not a single sorcerer felt the need to do it previously. As if she wasn’t struggling just from being underage and having to make up more and more creative ways to buy cigarettes (luckily, Mei Mei was greedy and not particularly giving a fuck about law restrictions).
Apparently, whatever god responsible for this fucked up world was very confident that Shoko was their strongest soldier and, therefore, was able to withstand all the difficulties put in front of her. And don’t be wronged - Shoko is strong. She can survive solely on a combination of nicotine, energizers and cheap noodles from convenience stores. Shoko even heard that third-years call her a “perfect jujutsu sorcerer” because she was only sixteen and already looked like she wanted to die.
But the thing is, when the god in question designed their trials, they forgot about one minor inconvenience. To be more precise - there are two of them, but it’s an arguable statement because Shoko is not exactly sure if she’s ever seen the inconveniences apart from each other.
Shoko Ieiri is not proud, and it’s not her pleasure, but, nevertheless, she presents the source of most of her struggles - the Gojo Satoru and the Getou Suguru.
“Why do you think so poorly of your fellow classmates?” the ones outside their strange group of friends may ask.
Firstly, if you don’t want to kill your friends once in a while, you are not friends at all.
Secondly, if you’ve never seen the Gojo-Getou ensemble outside of when they are in the middle of a mission, then you know nothing and your opinion isn’t valid.
Thirdly, if Gojo bribed you with money to come and ask this question, so Shoko will feel guilty - go fuck yourself.
She is in the middle of her efforts to study now, sitting on the floor and surrounded by textbooks and old jujutsu manuscripts. On the left side of her are books, and on the right side there are also books. And in front of her - no, you’ve guessed it wrong - there is Gojo Satoru. In some way, he is also a book. But if we are considering humans as books (in this case we need to recognize Satoru as a human and Shoko is also not very sure about it, but for the sake of the statement she will think of him as one); then Gojo is definitely a psychotherapy manual on how to raise a child and fill him with a ton of unresolved childhood traumas. And if Shoko wanted to become a psychotherapist, then Gojo would have been a perfect lab rat for her to study.
But Shoko is a jujutsu sorcerer, and they don’t require therapy, so she is not interested in dealing with Satoru. Unfortunately, Gojo doesn’t think the same.
“Can you stop looking at me?” Shoko finally snaps, unable to further ignore Gojo’s stare. He’s even taken his glasses off as if he knew how uncomfortable it is to be under the gaze of his eyes (of course, he knew).
“No.”
“Why?”
“Maybe I like you and I’m trying to gain your attention,” he is smiling, but it feels a bit unnatural, which is not your typical conversation with Gojo that is usually filled with silliness and a sprinkle of a good-old cringe.
“Really?” she closes her book and sets it aside. It’s impossible to study when he is like that, so Shoko decides to listen to him instead. “You have five minutes and they start now. Talk.”
Gojo literally lits and starts the monologue, like he was waiting for the command (he probably was). He actively uses his hands to visualize the story - and it’s completely unnecessary because the boy includes so many adjectives that if his cursed technique was to bring to life his words, he would have been the strongest sorcerer alive. Oh, wait, he already is. What a shame.
“And then he looked at me and said that I’m the reason the mission almost failed!” he whined and flopped on the floor, spreading his hands and legs to form an incredibly long and a bit deformed star. “All I wanted to do is to help him!”
Shoko signs. It will take more than five minutes.
“Do you understand that not letting Getou fight the curse and do all the work alone is not a good practice?”
She’s already heard the story: the boys encountered a second-grade curse, tried to exorcise it and almost killed each other in the process because they started to fight each other instead. Why did she know what happened before Satoru even came to her? Because Getou has already told her all about it just an hour ago, sitting in the exact same stop that Gojo is now. Fortunately for her, Suguru had things to do and left Shoko before her patience wore off. That’s why she can listen to Satoru right now.
So, the reasons for their fight were yet to be discovered, though now she has an actual chance to hear them from the culprit himself.
“Why have you even done it?”
“Because the curse was strong, and I didn’t want Suguru to get hurt!”
“You do remember that he is just a little bit less strong than you, right? It’s very important for me that you understand it.”
Gojo lifts from the floor and nods; strands of white hair fall on blue eyes and he shakes his head to clear the view. He probably does it out of pure habit, because both of them are perfectly aware of the quality of his eyesight. Satoru finally looks at Shoko again, and she notices that now he has the appearance of the young boy he actually is, with a shy look in his eyes and a bit of redness on the cheeks and ears.
“Good. I’ll ask again,” Shoko refactors her voice for it to sound softer; she talks to a child, after all. “Why have you shoved Getou aside and haven’t let him learn from the fight and become stronger after obtaining the curse?” she restructured the question, so he would be able to see the whole picture.
A couple of minutes pass before Gojo finally starts talking again, obviously trying to collect his thoughts. Shoko assumes that there is still a chance that he acted solely on instincts, and has never actually realized the intentions behind all of it. Again, despite being sixteen, Gojo is a child who left his clan’s golden cage no more than a year ago. He is still in the process of learning his own emotions.
So she allows him to figure it out on his own.
“You know that Suguru isn’t particularly a fan of his cursed technique? The part with swallowing,” Shoko nods in agreement. “So when we meet something really disgusting, I—” Gojo suddenly averts his gaze - lowers his head and even turns his upper body, so now his torso isn’t facing Shoko at all.
Oh, so he doesn’t want to acknowledge his own actions as if he is ashamed of them.
Interesting.
“You what?” Shoko asks again with poorly hidden persistence in her voice.
“I—” he presses his lips together and then opens them again with a loud pop sound. “I try to keep Suguru away, so he won’t notice a curse and therefore won’t be pressed to swallow it.”
Gojo isn’t looking at her at all, keeping his gaze on the books instead. There are many of them, and he seems to not be able to land his sight on one particular item. His whole stature somehow becomes smaller, and Shoko wonders if it was his subconscious reaction to being this open about his emotions. Or even being able to talk freely about what he truly wanted.
He is Gojo Satoru - a golden child (he looks more like a silver one, but that’s not important). He is the strongest from the moment of his birth. And such power comes with a set of restrictions because your life is not about you, but about everybody, about protecting and saving their lives. Is there a possibility that until last year, when all of them enrolled in jujutsu high, Gojo hadn't been listened to?
First-year Gojo was a completely different person. He wasn’t shy, no. But he was unsure about this school thing and didn’t even try to hide his boredom. That was until Getou pressed Gojo’s chest into the soft material of the gym mat after two minutes of their first-ever sparring match. And until Shoko healed his wounds - effortlessly and without using any medicine. That sparked interest in him, maybe for the first time in many years.
A-year-ago Gojo Satoru thought he was the strongest and, therefore, didn’t need anything and anyone. The present-day Gojo Satoru thinks that Shoko is the only person in the whole world who can help him resolve the tension between him and Getou. And he trusts her enough to be open about his emotions, even if he is still unclear about the proper way to communicate them.
How the world changes.
“Okay, I’ll start from the beginning,” Shoko changes her place and sits next to Gojo, so he would feel more comfortable. It works - the boy was always about being physically close to other people; probably the side effects of the Limitless. “First of all, that’s a positive intention and I totally understand why you want to act like this.”
Gojo smiles and for some reason, Shoko’s heart starts aching.
“If I understand it right, you do this for quite a time?” he nods. “Then here’s my next question: is Getou stupid?”
The question confuses Gojo - his eyes become large and completely round.
“Of course, he is not!” he shouts.
“Then he probably has already noticed that you started to act weird.”
“I don’t act weird,” Satoru says in a very resentful voice, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his head the other way from Shoko.
Yeah, now it finally looks like your typical conversation with Gojo.
“Yes, you do,” Shoko signs and continues her highly educational speech. “Imagine that out of nowhere and without any explanation Getou would have started not to let you fully participate in fights. What will be your reaction to such a situation?”
“There won’t be a situation, he will simply not do it at all,” he sounds way too sure in his words.
“And why do you think so?”
“Because he knows that I’m not a weakling. Why would he keep me aside?”
Maybe because you’re stupid and don’t understand the basics of human communication.
“Yeah, why? Maybe,” Shoko makes a little dramatic pause. It’s also a pause for Gojo to settle down and focus his attention completely on her. “Maybe, he just wants to protect you and make you feel better?”
She lets this thought take over Gojo’s mind. It will, eventually. As childish and immature Satoru may act, he’s still the strongest sorcerer alive and possesses quite a fast-thinking mind. The boy is quick to get into action if he has a certain goal to achieve.
And because the goal is none other than Getou Suguru itself, it takes approximately half a minute for Gojo to finally - finally - understand.
He bursts with a whole lot of emotions that appear and go off his pretty face. They completely take over him and Gojo hasn’t mastered the art of disguising himself yet, so it’s all self-evident. This skill is very important for a sorcerer and Shoko is sure that Gojo will learn how to hide his emotions by the end of the year, but for now - she enjoys the show.
At the start, his face gains a couple of different shades of red. The one around his eyes and near the ears is bright and reminds Shoko of the ripe middle of a watermelon. The next color covers his cheeks, and it has pink undertones that look beautifully on the white skin of Gojo’s slim face. And the color that takes the other parts of his naked skin (even his hands) is shaded with red that is almost pink.
Beautiful, beautiful boy. It’s almost unfair that he is so perfect.
Then he tries to cover his face with his hands and almost falls back on the floor, but Shoko doesn’t let him hide. Maybe it’s her selfishness and cruelness, but she’s absolutely positive that Gojo must live through these emotions. He will die out of pure shame and embarrassment, but then he will be reborn as an entirely new person who is free from at least one of his childhood traumas.
And it’s all thanks to Shoko’s enormous patience and love for Gojo Satoru. Although, she will show her devotion to their friendship a bit later.
As for this moment…
“Tell me, Gojo, what are your thoughts now?” she sounds like a seductress, but the only thing Shoko wants is for Satoru to learn his lesson, and then she will be able to return to her studies.
“Do I need to?” Gojo asks, shy and nervous as if he is answering one of his strict childhood teachers.
Shoko simply nods and tugs his right shoulder reassuringly. At least she hopes it feels like that.
“You think that Suguru thinks that I think that he is weak and that’s why I don’t let him near curses.”
Shoko is incredibly satisfied with herself because the sentence was formed as a statement and said with some kind of sad acceptance in Gojo’s voice. This means that Satoru got the point she was trying to make for the last half an hour. This also means that Shoko is one step closer to passing tomorrow’s test.
“You see,” ironic that it’s actually the best thing he is able to do, “I get that your intentions are good. Moreover, Getou,” at the sound of his friend’s name Gojo’s eyes lit a little bit more brightly and Shoko holds herself from rolling her eyes; he is so obvious, “will understand it as well. But the thing is - he doesn’t know about it.”
She feels how the question is formed on Satoru’s lips, but doesn’t let him ask it.
“He doesn’t read minds, that’s a fact. So all he can do is to lose himself in guesses. And these things usually don’t end positively,” Shoko raises her hand to hold Gojo’s own. He looks at least confused and at most shamed, and neither is a good sign. “Listen and, please, remember what I’m about to say.”
He listens; at least he looks like it.
“When you have concerns - speak about them. No matter if you are totally and completely sure that the other person is fine and understands your every intention. There is always a chance that you’re wrong, and believe me - you don’t want to miss the moment where miscommunication started because probably you won’t be able to end it as it would already be way too late.”
“Satoru,” she uses his given name, and it feels almost illegal to do, but Shoko doesn’t correct herself, “those pretty lips of yours aren't made only for kissing other pretty boys; they are also meant to be used as a tool of communication. Please, never forget about it.”
After this speech and one more reassuring shoulder tug, Shoko is back to her studies. She picks up the book she was reading previously and continues to note everything worth learning more deeply about. When she lifts her head five minutes later, Gojo is already gone. It seems like he actually thanked her, but Shoko is not sure because she wasn’t listening anymore.
She’s done everything in her capabilities to teach Gojo how to deal with these kinds of situations.
And it’s only for Gojo to decide how to use his newly obtained knowledge.
A couple of days later, Gojo and Getou already bother her together. They tell her about the shop they visited yesterday and how Gojo liked their desserts. They intended to bring her some sweets as well, but Satoru ate them all. Getou even apologized that he wasn’t able to keep Gojo in check.
Shoko curses and tries to hit Gojo, but he dodges the punch and laughs as if it was the funniest moment of his life. She hates them (mostly Gojo), but this feeling is a bit sweetened by the taste of the cherry cigarette between her lips. Shoko found the pack yesterday in front of her dorm room with a small note attached to it.
“Thanks” was written on it in a calligraphic beautifulness that only Getou was able to write in.
Shoko thinks that maybe she should study psychology as well. Of course, the jujutsu high learning plan doesn’t require her to have knowledge in this field; the plan actually consists of only one sentence: “Don’t let a sorcerer die”. But if she will be able to keep both Gojo and Getou stable enough not to bother her with their problems - it is worth the shot.
Yeah, it is a great idea. Perhaps one day it will even save someone.