Work Text:
—
The second that Phil practically pushes Dan out of the room to get changed, the atmosphere instantly changes.
The air feels electric, lighting up every nerve in his body. He absentmindedly taps his fingers against the counter and smiles at the camera, and grits his teeth in anticipation - he knows Dan will edit this waiting period out anyway.
There’s a cacophony of sounds coming from the next room over - fabric rustling, mumbling, ornaments rolling over from the shelves onto the rug presumably where Dan has fallen into them trying to wiggle into his outfit.
“Am I going all the way in this?” Dan calls from the other room, and Phil smiles, but silently decides not to grab the low hanging fruit of the double entendre.
“You do whatever you want,” Phil calls back, and only grins when Dan calls him an indecisive fuck.
“Okay yeah, i’m still feeling myself in this,” Dan sings, and Phil hears the telltale sign of a snapshot being taken. He makes a mental note to most definitely get that picture sent to him.
As Dan’s footsteps get closer, Phil gives an apprehensive thumbs up to the camera and pretends to not know what is literally around the corner - he knows Dan will edit it out as soon as he does it.
Dan stands in the doorway, arm resting on the doorframe and the other hand on his hip, fingers slowly drumming. The action causes the thin fabric to rise just above where it is supposed to rest, and Phil knows he’s in for a long filming session as soon as, upon sight of Dan in the doorway, it is suddenly extremely hard to stand up straight.
When Dan eventually arrives back in the camera’s view, it’s hard for Phil to produce more than three words at a time - and even harder to find a way to style out the fact he can no longer stand up straight or stand behind the counter, at least not for the foreseeable.
He mainly sticks to smiling and occasionally joining in on Dan’s quips - this is Dan’s moment and he just feels overwhelmingly proud to be a part of it.
“Okay so now it’s the ingredients, right?” Dan asks, and by his tone of voice Phil knows this won’t be making the video.
“Hmm?”
“Ingredients,” Dan repeats with a teasing smile. “Kinda need them to, you know,” he gestures to the kitchen counter and stovetop in front of them. “Bake stuff.”
From his elegantly balanced position between the two counters, Phil shrugs. He’s just managed to get comfy enough that he can style it out by pretending to do some weird form of press-up and not draw attention to the real reason he’s there. “I’m fine to wait a few minutes.”
Dan raises an eyebrow. “Okay…” he turns to face one of the many cupboards around the kitchen. “But i’m just going to check I know where everything is before we start filming, they already think we don’t use the kitchen after all.”
As he reaches for a particularly high cupboard, the fabric rises, leaving extremely little to the imagination.
Phil can’t stop himself from audibly gulping, and immediately squeezes his eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable teasing.
When he, after a few seconds of silence, opens his eyes, he’s met with a smirking Dan, again with a hand on his hip.
“I can’t believe i’d forgot how bad this made you.”
“Shut up,” Phil replies without missing a beat. “Let’s just get this done.” He finds the confidence to somehow jump up to full height, despite his body instantly hating him
for it. He decides in that moment he will be by Dan’s side as he edits the video just to make sure that shot of the video is deleted.
Dan immediately looks down Phil’s body with a distinct sparkle in his eye. “Mhm, let’s indeed.”
Phil rolls his eyes. “No,” he says as he promptly flicks Dan in the forehead.
“Or,” Dan says and slowly licks his lips, “Very much yes.” He deliberately runs his fingers from his barely clothed thigh up past the dip above his hips.
Phil’s fingers twitch involuntarily at his sides, and he finds himself gripping the edge of the kitchen counter as if his life depends on it.
“Stop it,” he says, just managing to keep his voice somewhat steady. “We have a job to do.”
“My only job is to serve,” Dan spins on his tip toes and places a hand on his hip - it still has the same effect on Phil as the first time. Phil decides to ignore what he says and instead straightens out his outfit and does what he can to make everything appear normal.
With Phil not taking the bait, Dan sighs dramatically. “Fine, fucking spoilsport. Let’s do this shit.”
—
They quickly film their messy setup of discarded ingredients, which is then promptly cleaned up. An entertaining shot for the video nonetheless.
“What did we actually used to do in this boring waiting time?” Dan asks as he looks through the oven door at their most likely futile attempts at cinnamon rolls.
Phil just blinks at him.
“Oh yeah,” Dan smiles and places a finger in one of his dimples. “How could I ever forget?”
Dan hops up onto one of the counters and swings his legs, the thin fabric swishing from side to side as he does so. “So what now?” he asks sweetly.
Trying his best to ignore every green flag in the situation, Phil attempts to calmly walk past him and retrieve a glass from the cupboard, but he finds himself being quite literally pulled towards Dan.
Dan pulls him close enough so that Phil is forced to position himself between Dan’s legs, and place his hands on Dan’s chest to prevent a likely painful headbutt. But maybe he leaves his hands there an extra few seconds, just to be safe.
“Did you just fucking lasso me?” Phil asks, wanting desperately to not give away how happy he is with the current situation.
“And what if I did?” Dan teases, running the beads through his fingers before one final tug brings them ever closer.
Subconsciously, Phil licks his lips and Dan mirrors him.
“Ever kissed a nun?” Dan whispers and wiggles his eyebrows up and down.
“You’re so lucky you don’t need to be on the dating scene, your pick-up lines are awful.”
Dan tilts his head to the side. “And yet they’ve always worked on you.”
“Lucky for you, since nobody else would tolerate your bare ass cheeks on their kitchen counter.”
Dan smirks, and shuffles from side to side, proving Phil’s point. “I’m just,” he slowly grazes a finger along Phil’s neck and collarbone. “Marking my territory.”
The tension in the room is palpable. Phil is very aware of his own rapid heartbeat, and he’s close enough to Dan to feel his too, pulsing through Phil’s fingertips. The sweet smell from their baking swirls around the kitchen, mixing with whatever fragrance Dan is wearing to make the most enticing smell that Phil has ever experienced in his life.
Phil swears he sees Dan’s pupils double in size in the span of ten seconds. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Dan plays with the beads from the necklace and shrugs. “Just thinking it’s fitting that you’re dressed as a devil.” He then reaches to fiddle with the lopsided horns on Phil’s head.
Perhaps it’s the sweet aroma, perhaps it’s Dan saying all the weird yet right things, perhaps it’s the fact that this video is just the perfect concoction of chaotic and he’s having the best time, but Phil’s subconscious tells him to say fuck it and just kiss him (to begin with) - Dan’s already promised to edit this video himself so it’s not like it would be kept in.
Though they’re practically already touching, it feels like miles between them as Phil starts to lean in, and he won’t lie and say his heart doesn’t jump a little when he sees Dan’s lips curl up as he begins to also lean in.
Until the oven beeps incessantly and ruins any and all tension.
“Son of a cocksucking bitch motherfucker!” Dan exclaims, and Phil frees himself from the lasso-necklace and leans against the counter opposite Dan, laughing at his over the top reaction. “Seems we forgot to opt for the ‘not a cockblocker’ option for the stupid thing.” Dan mumbles as he hops down from the counter and shuffles to the oven.
—
“I am taking the entire box of these to bed, by the way,” Phil says as he slots the lid on top of the tupperware box containing their cinnamon rolls, and sets to make sure all of the camera equipment is safely packed away.
When he only hears a faint hum of response from behind him, he turns around to find Dan sat back on the counter, outfit pulled up to his waist, and focusing intently on drawing a delicate creation on the inside of his thigh with the remaining edible glitter.
“And what’s happening here?” Phil asks, moving to Dan’s side to study what he is working so hard on.
“Just going where the mood takes me,” Dan replies, before stopping the shape he was working on previously, and draws a tiny yet unmistakeable anatomical part next to it.
“Subtle,” Phil rolls his eyes, and Dan winks. “It‘ll probably take ages to wash off, you know?” Phil says, and Dan turns to face him.
“Oh no, guess i’ll have to find another way to… wash it off,” he says whilst pulling his outfit just a little higher. As if on their own free will, Phil’s fingers follow, softly grazing the bare flesh left in the fabric’s wake.
“You realise you’ll be the object of so many fantasies after this video right?” Phil asks, dipping his finger into the pot of edible glitter and running it across Dan’s collarbone.
“I look forward to it,” Dan replies and swings his legs a couple of times before wrapping one leg around Phil’s, pulling him closer. “Can I start with yours?” he takes Phil’s hand and pops the glitter-covered finger in his mouth.
“Amen.”
—
