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Solas is like a fire. He's rash, wild, fucking uncontrollable at times. Most times, that description fits a person who would be someone you wouldn't want to hang out with, but like how a fire brings warmth, Solas comes with his sense of loyalty, resilience, his care for people close to them, defending them when needed and his ability to get back up after shit happens. This is a story of how these traits came to be.
As long as anyone could remember, Solas had a heart of pure gold, willing to stand up to people twice his size treating anyone unfairly, even if it meant they were the one that got targeted instead. Not helped by the fact that they spoke their mind most of the time, the bullying was also rampant due to his relatively small size compared to kids his age, leading to him either getting constantly teased, or, in worst case scenarios, getting beat with rubber wallet chains and thrown rocks. However, this didn't stop them from doing what he thought was right, and even though the bullying gradually lessened with age, it still existed within the hushed whispers and giggles anytime he entered a room. Combined with the want to fit in, he filed down his sharp edges to dull points, nowadays only speaking when spoken to, keeping to himself and only talking to one or two others.
His family was, not that great to say the least. Between his father's habit of going out to drink every week and his mother having to pick said drunk man up every time, it was no surprise that they argued every other day, sometimes to the point of loud cursing and slammed doors. This led to Solas considering his room the only safe place in the house, staying inside whenever he could. There was one time, when Solas was six, he walked in on his father in a drunken rage threatening to kill both him and his mother, right then and there. He tried to stop his dad with the phone in his hand dialled to the police, they really did, but in the end he got too scared to press 'Call'. His mom, with her kid being threatened, shouted at her husband, "If you want to hurt our child, you have to go through me!".
Thankfully, there was no bloodshed on that day, and Solas admired his mom even more than they already had, and was more scared of his dad than ever before, developing nightmares that involved their mom leaving in some form or another, some darker than others, leaving Solas with nothing but tears on his face and a racing heart when he woke up. This was sadly something they never really grew out of.
Then, everything changed when Lucine was born.
Suddenly, the drinking stopped, the arguments were one in a few, and they were a happy family as far as anyone could tell. As much as Solas loved his new sibling, a deep envy grew within them. ' Why did Lucine get the nice parents, the parents that didn't fight every day like it satiated them, the parents that they could be with without having to worry about them being at each other's throats in the next few seconds? Why did I have to grow up with those parents, the same people that now held both of Lucine's hands as they learned how to walk. They weren't this kind when it was just me, so it must have been my fault, right? It's the only thing that makes sense, if not why did they only fight when I was the only child? '
' Lucine must be a replacement of me, because I wasn't good enough, why else would they have another child and change their demeanour completely the moment they were born? ' These thoughts rooted themselves within Solas' mind, becoming more apparent as he got older, with Lucine receiving more praise and attention from their parents, both things Solas never really got much of before.
When his grades started to drop due to the increased difficulty in school, they got sent to tuition, spending more time outside the house, away from his family, feeling more and more detached from them everyday. This caused dinners at the table to feel more like watching a sitcom than an actual conversation between family members, with Solas most of the time being chastised for their dropping grades or for picking at his food, making him hate Lucine even more, even though it wasn't inherently the younger's fault, but he was just 10, so it's understandable he would think that way.
In Solas' eyes, Lucine was the prized child, the best of the two, the only one their parents truly loved. (He hasn't forgotten what his mom did for him, but their feelings were too big for them to rationalise that) He was the mistake, the outcast, the faulty prototype, just waiting to be replaced.
Without having learnt how to regulate his emotions, Solas started acting out, not doing homework, just not giving a shit in general, because what was the point in trying to be a good student if he wasn't recognised as one anyway? They got into trouble with a lot of adults, from his teacher to his after school activity head, all of them saying he had the chance to be great, but wasn't utilising it, which Solas found to be extremely annoying. They eventually got to their final year exams and did well enough to get into the secondary school of his choice, but as much as he tried to go back to the person he was, to turn over a new leaf before secondary school, some habits from that time would show once in a while.
In the heart of that 12 year old kid, they still felt as if they were nothing compared to the gem of his younger sibling, that in the eyes of all adults in his life, he would always be the 'kid with unfulfilled potential'.
On a day in November, Solas was awake late at night, gaming on his laptop he had received as a gift earlier that year (he needed it for school any way), while Lucine was sleeping in the same room, a few metres away from him. He dislikes the fact they had to share a room since it was his first, but their parents said that there were no extra rooms for Lucine and further more, it was a chance to get them to 'bond as family members', which Solas wasn't very excited about. As he was finishing up a quest, he heard loud shouting coming from outside the room. Since it had been a long time that amount of shouting happened, he was a bit curious, but because he was also used to this type of behaviour, they ignored it and continued playing his game.
After a while, he heard a loud shout and a 'THUNK' noise right after, before the entire house fell silent. Solas' breath hitched as he turned to look at his door for a brief second, turning off his game as they went to investigate. It wasn't the noise that scared them, it was the eerie silence afterwards. No door slam, no cursing, just silence, something Solas never experienced after his parents fought. When he got to the living room, he was presented with a shock and horror no child should ever have to experience.
His mother, on the floor, blood pooling around her head. His father, standing not very far away, staring at the body with widened eyes and slack jaw.
Solas looked up. His father looked up.
They made eye contact.
Solas ran.
His father followed.
In the nick of time, Solas slipped into his room and slammed the door shut, locking it, while his father banged on the door, screaming at Solas to not do what he knew he was going to do, along with some very..concerning threats towards both Solas and Lucine. Solas could care less about what his father (could he even call him that any more?) was saying, all he could think of was his mother's body on the floor, blood pooling around her head, her lifeless body, red getting everywhere, this is a nightmare this is a nightmare his mother wasn't dead his mother was-
"Solas? What's going on?"
Solas snapped out of his thoughts, turning his head towards his now awake sibling, who was squinting at him with bleary eyes, confused as to what was happening. Solas shakily got up from the floor (when did he even sit down?) and went over to the side of Lucine's bed. It had a cloud pattern covering the blanket, a gift their mother got for them has a birthday gift that year, their mother, who was now on the floor of their living room, unmoving, de-
"Solas? Are you okay? What are you staring at?", Lucine asked, expression becoming more confused than before. Solas was tugged back into reality (dammit he had to focus) and tried to formulate a somewhat decent answer. "Yea, nothing, I- uh," Solas stammered, "just go back to sleep, okay? I'll explain to you in the morning." "Why is it so loud outside? What's going on?" Lucine replied. "They're busy right now, I just need you to go back to sleep, ok? Ignore the sound, it's not anything important," Solas whispered, slightly more jittery then he was a few minutes ago. "Ok, good night, I guess..." Lucine whispered back, laying their head back on their pillow, seemingly falling back asleep.
After confirming the other was fully asleep, Solas went over to his desk and picked up his phone. By then, the sounds outside the door had stopped, causing Solas to cringe slightly, thinking about what his 'father' was doing outside. For the second time in his life, he dialled the number for the police, and for the first time, he pressed 'Call'.
A few minutes had passed when Solas heard the front door to his house open, his 'father' shouting at someone, desperate begging, and only after a few seconds, a knock on the room door. He tentatively opened it, and standing right in front of him was a police officer in full uniform, holding a small notebook. "Were you the kid that called?" the officer said, a hint of concern in their voice. "Shhh, my sibling's sleeping, can we talk somewhere else?" Solas exclaimed quietly, gesturing to the person in peaceful slumber behind him. The officer gave a quick nod and walked to the room opposite, sitting down on the empty queen size bed, with Solas doing the same, sitting at half an arm's length from the officer.
Solas was unable to process anything, his mind felt like it was stuffed with dense cotton, causing them to not hear the officer trying to get his attention-
"Hey kid, you good there?" "Huh?" Solas jolted, suddenly reminded of the person in blue talking to him. "Could you tell me what happened?" The officer asked. "Ok so....
After some time, the officer closed their notebook. Solas didn't hear what they said afterwards, watching the person stand up and make their way to the living room before realising something very important. Solas ran to the living room, sprinting towards the officer that just talked to him, not without catching two others carrying a stretcher covered with a white sheet walking out the front door in the corner of his eye. "What's going to happen now? Where will we go?" Solas asked the person, trying not to breakdown, finally realising his only alive parent was now as good as nothing to him, basically making both them and Lucine orphans. "Well, right now we're gonna take both of you to the station, and we'll see from there, okay?" the officer replied, their voice laced with pity.
"Ok," Solas replied, holding back the ache that started to build up in his torso, continuing to spread to his limbs as they walked back to his and Lucine's bedroom, already knowing damn well what was going to happen to both of them.
As he watched Lucine sleep soundly, they hoped that the police would have understood that telling his sibling the full truth was not an option. On that fateful day, Solas accepted one thing. He accepted that they now had a responsibility, one too big for a child his age, but had nonetheless.
He also swore to do three things. One, never trust adults ever again, because if your own 'father' could do this, who knows what others could do? Two, knowing how fucked up he felt, they would never tell Lucine what actually happened that day, sparing them the pain he felt right now. Three, previously hearing about the hurdles waiting for both of them from whispers and rumours about parent less kids, he will do everything in his power to protect Lucine from any harm, even if it meant they won't be able to help himself.