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Aleix
Of course, Aleix was the first to notice something was wrong. When they landed in Sao Paulo, he asked George about his constant yawning during the flight. George dismissed that as a bit of jetlag, nothing more. Everything would be alright after a good night's sleep.
George knew it wouldn’t be. He wasn’t even sure he remembered what a good night's sleep was.
But he didn't want to talk about that with Aleix. He didn't want to tell him about the nightmares and the thoughts swirling in his mind and keeping him awake. He was going to find a way to make that stop. Things would be alright. He didn't need help.
***
Lewis
Wednesday. Another day full of PR engagements. Another day George had to pretend he was happy to be there. Another day he had to keep going when he wanted nothing more than to go back to his bed and sleep for days.
The night had been the worst. He had managed to fall asleep quite easily but barely an hour later, he has been awaken by another nightmare. It was always the same two scenarios… Either Toto fired him or he was involved in a nasty crash. This time had been an awful variation of the latter. A crash… many cars around him. Fire. Ambulances. Silence… Lando, Alex, Lewis…
"Are you okay, mate?" Lewis, a very alive Lewis, asked, putting his hand on George's shoulder.
"Oh yeah… Tripleheader, you know." George dismissed. He was getting good at that.
"Hydratation, mate! That's the key!"
George smiled. He was sure that water or non-alcoholic tequila wouldn't help him.
***
Alex
The next day, Alex sent him a picture from that PR thing. He looked terrible on it. A message followed: “If you need to talk, I'm here."
George hesitated. Alex could probably understand. The doubts, the fears. Alew had gone through that, too. But Alex hadn’t been unable to sleep because of it. In the end, it was George’s pride that prevented him from going to his friend.
***
Daniel
Daniel was making a joke about Max that George barely listened to. Daniel’s peculiar humour was often a welcome distraction, but as they walked towards the press zone, George was simply too tired to stay focused.
“You didn’t even listen, did you?” Dan asked when George had been meant to laugh.
“Sorry… Bit tired. Didn’t sleep well last night.”
George didn’t even have the energy left to make up an excuse.
“Get drunk or get laid, mate!!”
Of course, Daniel had to make a joke out of it. George tried to smile but he was afraid it ended looking more like a grimace.
“Could even help with one of those!” Daniel kept going on.
“No thanks!”
That wasn’t George's best comeback but Daniel still laughed probably thinking he was going low-key sarcastic.
***
Fernando
George realised how bad things were when Fernando of all people asked him if he was feeling alright.
They were discussing before the drivers' parade, waving to the cheering crowds and Fernando had looked at him with concern in his eyes.
“You’re not sick are you?”
“Uh? No…”
“You look tired.”
“I… I’m okay.”
“George… Don’t lie.”
Fernando was able to use a certain tone of voice that always reminded George of his father’s voice.
“I’m just a bit tired. Triple-header got me, I think.”
Fernando made a non-commital sound then and George felt a bit bad. Fernando was perhaps the right person to talk to… He had seen it all during his career. But the driver's parade was starting…
***
Oscar
“Not sure it’s a good idea.”
The voice came from behind him and George turned to face Oscar.
“You look tired and coffee will prevent you from sleeping.” The Australian added with a nod towards the coffee machine in front of George.
“As if I could sleep even without coffee…” George answered, coldly.
The race has sucked, he was even more tired and was now facing a long flight back to England, so he didn’t need advice from that rookie.
“So thanks for the unrequited advice but I’ll manage,” he added, a bit more aggressively than he wanted.
He saw the hurt in Oscar’s eyes and he suddenly remembered that the guy had had a shit race, too and it felt a bit like kicking a puppy or something.
“Sorry… I… I didn’t mean to… Blimey… I… I’m just tired.”
“Can see that. Come.”
Oscar grabbed his wrist and tugged. George followed, too exhausted to resist. Oscar led him to another vending machine and bought something from it then pushed the little packet into George’s hands.
“Almonds. They’re good to help you sleep.”
“Oh… Thanks.”
Before George could react, he was dragged again towards some comfy couch in the airport lounge.
They both sat but Oscar stayed silent. George had expected more advice or at least questions but the McLaren driver just sat there, close but not touching.
And it was what got George to talk finally.
“I haven’t slept properly since Austin… I… I just stay awake with all these thoughts and… I just can’t sleep.”
Oscar looked at him but didn’t push for more. He simply took back the almonds packet from George's hands, opened it up and gave it back. George took an almond and munched on it before continuing.
“And the nights when I finally manage to fall asleep… I get these nightmares…”
George took another almond, more to give himself a break than anything else. Oscar was still looking at him in silence.
“I’m crashing and it’s bad… It hurts… Sometimes, other drivers are involved, the cars are on fire and…”
George’s voice broke then and he had to gulp to prevent tears from coming out.
He felt a gentle hand on his back, stroking slowly.
“It’s okay. I think I understand… Don’t need all the details if it’s too hard.” Oscar said in a very low and comforting voice.
“Thanks,” George said, his breathing still not completely under control yet.
“But you really should sleep… You can’t keep going on like that.”
“I know…I’m just hoping it will get better once I’m at home, you know… But I need to stay in London for a few days… debriefing at the factory…”
“I meant in the plane, George. It’s an 11-hour flight…”
“I… I’m not good at sleeping in planes.” George confessed.
He realised then that Oscar was still stroking his back and that felt good. It was relaxing and grounding.
"Can you keep doing that?"
George was too exhausted to be awkward about asking a guy he had talked to less than 10 times to keep stroking his back.
"Of course."
George was grateful for Oscar's laid-back personality. No useless comments, no prying questions.
They stayed like that, George eating his almonds and Oscar’s hands going back and forth on his back until their flight was called for boarding.
As they went to the gate, George felt cold and a bit lost. He missed the physical contact that Oscar had provided.
“George?” Oscar called as George was lagging behind, his backpack suddenly too heavy.
Oscar must have noticed because he took the bag and then George’s wrist again. “Come on.”
George followed diligently. He could do that. Let someone else decide, let someone else guide him.
“Hey? Do you want me to ask Kim to switch places with you? So we can sit together?” Oscar asked as they joined their teams at the departure gate.
“Ok… Could you do the thing on my back again?”
“Of course.”
George noticed that Oscar had a cute smile. And he blushed a lot. Cuter.
Oscar kept a firm grip on George’s wrist as he talked with Kim and Aleix about the switch, grabbed George’s boarding pass and ID card in his bag and led them to their seats. He even put George’s seat belt on.
And when they were finally up in the sky, George leaned a bit to allow Oscar to stroke his back again. But it was way less comfortable than earlier.
“Wait… Just, lean back.” Oscar asked.
George did and he felt Oscar’s arm behind his neck. An arm that pulled him against Oscar’s shoulder.
“Better?” the Aussie asked as he let his fingers card through George’s hair.
“Yeah… Good… Like really good.”
“Cool.”
It was indeed really good. George felt his whole body relax like it hadn’t in weeks. Oscar’s shoulder was a bit bony but his hoodie was so soft. And he smelled good. Fresh and citrusy. And George truly enjoyed it when someone played with his hair…
…
“...”
“Geo…”
“...”
“George…”
“Uh?”
“George, we will land soon…”
“What?” George asked sleepily.
“We will land in less than an hour so… I thought you might want to wake up… And… Hum… I might need to go to the toilet.”
“Oh… I… I slept?”
“For nearly 10 hours, mate!”
“Oh…”
As the sleep mist was slowly leaving his brain, George realised he wasn’t leaning against Oscar’s shoulder anymore. He was fully lying with his head on the Aussie’s lap… very comfortable lap. When the realisation hit, George stood up immediately.
“Crikey! Sorry… I didn’t mean to…”
“Hey, it’s okay. I went to the toilet earlier and when I came back you were still asleep but you fell like that and… You looked comfortable so I let you lie there.”
“Oh… I… I was… Comfortable, I mean.”
“I guessed so. You slept like a baby.”
George smiled at that. He felt indeed refreshed.
It looked like the solution to his sleeping problems was, in fact, the gentle touch and physical proximity of an Australian rookie…
“Thanks.”
“I’m glad I could help,” Oscar said, smiling and blushing again.
A cute Australian rookie.