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*
Mei could still remember it. Last year and two years prior, he's always so excited to be here, always with a chin up and puffed out chest, looking down on people obviously looking at him with eyes that are either shining with respect or glinting with envy.
Right now, though, Mei could feel his feet sweating even though they feel cold. His eyes shift everywhere, scanning through the many high schoolers talking amongst themselves and the cracks between them. His shoulders are almost hunched and his head is tilted down. His hands keep worrying with the lint in his pockets.
One could say, Narumiya Mei is weary.
His friends and teammates around him are another story. They're nothing but the definition of relaxed. Hands inside their pockets, chin up and excitedly talking about the lineups and some trivial matters Mei didn't have the current mental capacity to dwell on.
He's busy.
"–Eijun-kun."
Mei whipped his head toward Carlos, eyes widening even more than they already are, before looking around for assurance that he's not around and because, as the saying goes, once you spoke of the devil, it comes.
"Oh yeah, it is the first time others will know he's the Ace," Fukui says, nodding as he flip through the program brochure. "I wonder how it is for them…"
"Well it's definitely something to look forward to," Itsuki says from somewhere beside Mei. "I'm sure everyone will be surprised, after what Furuya-kun showed last Senbatsu, everyone expects him to take the Ace number this summer…"
"To tell you the truth, though, I think it's the right choice," Carlos adds, head craning over the heads of the people around them as if he's trying to find someone in the crowd. "Where are they anyway? I thought they're here?"
Mei narrowed his eyes, mouth falling open in disbelief as he frowned at what Carlos said.
"Did you get in contact with them?" Mei disbelievingly asks, but no one paid him any mind as they started craning their heads. "Hey?"
"Hm…" Katsuyuki mutters, fingers busy typing something on his phone he's frowning down upon. "They just arrived. Kominato-kun just replied."
"What…?" Mei whines, wild eyes looking around as he shrink to himself further.
It's been days since he last saw his crush.
That one from Seido, their new Ace. The irritating one. Like, the undeniably most attractive one. The loud and boisterous one. The one looking like a lion. Yeah, that's the one.
The one who told Mei he like him. Mhm. Unbelievably so, despite his better logic for why he couldn't be liked.
It's just ironic.
Mei thinks he couldn't be liked, yet Sawamura Eijun, the one exception, said in his cool and collected tone 'I like you' and that's all – Mei would like to ignore the curse he said after that.
Well he should be happy. His first crush and it's actually reciprocated. It should be happy-happy and rainbows and butterflies, the easiest thing in the world, but Mei couldn't believe that is all there is to it.
Nothing in life is easy and a relationship is definitely never easy. Especially if it's Mei, the most difficult person in the world. And Mei knows he wouldn't be easily changed– or he wouldn't change just because of the fact that his crush liked him back.
And Sawamura Eijun didn't know Mei.
That night Eijun said he liked Mei, well, for the first time in his life, he ran away.
Not that he ran away literally as in bolted out of the room– trust Mei, he wanted to do that because it's the most desirable thing to do– but ran away as in act as if he just didn't know what to do about anything that was said and he just up and left his responsibilities.
He just cleared his throat, blinked where he sat and looked everywhere else except Eijun as he let the fact that yeah, Eijun likes him sink in his brain.
Mei didn't know what Eijun looked like when he did that. He's scared to look at him because what if he saw something akin to disappointment? Mei doesn't think he could handle knowing his first crush is disappointed at him.
Needless to say, Mei didn't say he has a crush on Eijun. After all, it's just a crush. Not like. It's not sure. And crushing and liking is different, right?
After all, could he really indulge in selfish desire of romantic happiness when they're this close to the tournament? Could he really let go of all the dreams and hopes entrusted to him, the Ace, in order to pursue happiness only he could feel?
As a true Ace, Mei knows he couldn't. He wouldn't.
So ache as he might for the thought of letting go of his dream crush, he chose to prioritize the one hundred plus people counting on him to win this tournament before putting his love interest first. And it's not like wining the Koushien isn't on top of his priority list way before Eijun arrived.
Mei took in a steadying breath, rolled his shoulders back and straightened his spine. There's no use to feeling really scared. After all, Eijun wouldn't really hurt Mei. He's not someone to harass a person. He's too straight-laced to hurt someone physically intentionally. He's probably the kindest and most impressionable person Mei met his whole life. No, Carlos takes that spot, but Eijun isn't that far off.
So why does Mei still feel scared? Or worried?
"Oh?"
Mei's eyes widened even more, turning to almost manic and wild, as he whipped his head side to side as he tried looking at the reason for Carlos' remark among the crowd.
"Amahisa-san?"
Mei's eyes zeroed in on Amahisa Kousei who was passing by, trailing behind his own team. At Carlos' hailing remark, he looked at Inashiro curiously before lighting up, obviously bouncing with electric excitement. His catcher beside him took one look at Inashiro before rolling his eyes and putting a hand on Amahisa's shoulder.
"Hoo! Inashiro Jitsugyo!" Amahisa shouts almost on top of his voice. He bounded near Carlos and his catcher followed suit. The whole Ichidai lineup stopped and looked over to where their Ace is going. "Hello! How was the game with Seido? I was supposed to watch, but Toshi-chan didn't want us going. Man, I was jealous when Eijun-kun told us about it! And," he leaned closer to Carlos, voice dropping to a whisper as his eyes roam around Inashiro, "did you know Seido's new Ace? It's Sawamura Eijun."
Silence.
No one spoke. Every Inashiro kids just looked at Amahisa like he's a joke. Or like he's someone who just said some lame joke that he thought would make everyone laugh, but it's the opposite.
Mei only leaned away and pursed his lips in disappointment. He actually wanted new news about Seido. Knowing Eijun is the new Ace is old news for Mei.
Carlos waved a hand as he shake his head.
"Uhm, we know that already," he trails off quietly as if he's scared to offend. "We were informed before the boot camp…"
Amahisa's eyes widened and his mouth fell to the ground as he gasped rather dramatically. He looked back from the direction they just walked from.
"That cheat," Amahisa loudly says to himself, sounding angry. "He said I was the only one who knew." He whipped his head to Carlos, frowning. "Bye for now, I'm gonna whoop Eijun's ass–"
"Kousei, no," says his catcher, who already grasped Amahisa's collar. "You've caused enough inconvenience for Miyuki-san–"
Mei's eyes narrowed, arms crossing in his chest. His chin tilts up as he pursed his lips.
"–it would be better not to go back there."
"What does Miyuki got to do with Eijun?" Amahisa asks, rounding at his catcher as he frowned.
"Yeah, what does Kazuya got to do with Eijun?" Mei quietly says, glaring at the catcher.
They turned to Mei, their wild faces relaxing to one that is curious and surprised.
"You can go inconvenience Eijun without Kazuya minding it," Mei continues, voice soft but sharp, brows pulled low and nose flared. "I'm sure Eijun himself doesn't care what Kazuya thinks so just go on, try riling him up, he wouldn't even bat an eyelash at Kazuya's direction. Why would you think Eijun will mind Kazuya's reaction? Why would you always associate Eijun with Kazuya, huh? Why–"
"Whoa, Mei, calm down," Carlos says, chuckling. He waved his hands in front of Mei as if to appease him while sending a pained smile to Amahisa's catcher. "There's no need to be harsh…"
Amahisa only looked Mei up and down curiously as his former dismay eveporated to the air. He leaned once again but this time to Mei.
"Are you and Eijun friends?" He asks, brown eyes narrowed at Mei's.
Mei felt like a bucket of water with ice cubes was splashed to his head, his entire body freezing and his blood running cold to his veins as his bone snapped to the ground. His actions– and words– just dawned on him. His hot face getting hotter as the uncharacteristic embarrassment sink in even more.
Amahisa just started at Mei, his brows furrowing as his mouth downturn questioningly.
Mei shook his head.
"N-no, I… I don't think we are…"
"Hoo, that's a waste…" Amahisa says. He shrugged noncommittally and leaned away, pouting at the ground. "That cheat," he says almost to himself as he started stomping away, "I'll show him, truly, he said I was the only one who knows…" then, as fast as a lightning, he turned back to Mei, his frown is gone, replaced by excitement. "Hey, Narumiya, want to exchange LINE?"
Mei could only mutter a small 'huh?' that went unheard because Amahisa dove in a very fast tirade about how he's formed this group chat with all his favourites–
"–not that you're my favourite, but you see, Eijun and the rest are actually going at it debating who's better pitcher and he said you're the best, but if it's you against him, you're just the second best–"
Mei's mouth fell and he let out an indignant huff as he glared at an unsuspecting and most probably innocent Amahisa.
"–but you see, Soucchi said that you are one of the best, but he also said that Hongo's still better than you–"
Mei gasped, frowning deeper as the thought that he's being talked about without his knowledge sunk in. Maybe he's being trash talked brutally and without defense–
"–but Eijun did say you're better than Hongo and the only way you're losing soon is because you're playing him, so I was thinking," Amahisa says, pushing his phone right into Mei's hands, "give me your email and we'll debate on it at our group chat!"
While the idea of proving everyone in that damned group chat wrong by saying he's the best of the best and no one will beat him is like a sweet watermelon cooled in a cool lake, the idea of having Eijun in the same chat room is sending him chills that he isn't sure is unpleasant or not.
What would Eijun think of him then? If he saw Mei's email in the same group he's in, what would he do? What does he think of Mei now? It's nerve-wracking, not knowing what he thinks. It's scary to know what Eijun think of Mei now. Does he take Mei as a coward? Moreover, is 'liking' someone removable? What if he didn't like Mei anymore after that ghosting he did? Can Mei live with the constant reminder that he's a has-been in Eijun's head and that he's no longer living there, rent free?
And the question that's really bothering Mei for the past days: what made Eijun 'like' Mei?
Should Mei embody what Eijun liked or will Mei only has to completely erase contact to prevent further damage?
Mei did know he felt somewhat warm knowing that Eijun thinks he's better than Hongo, and to be honest, he doesn't care being compared to Hongo like that, but knowing that Eijun said he's just second to him is sending him the same kind of irritation and mild annoyance that he felt during their stay at Seido.
That, but with this certain warmth reminiscent of cold room and scary stories and the comfort of uncharacteristic silence.
"Hurry up," Amahisa says, calling Mei from the depths of his thoughts. Mei blinks and saw Amahisa bouncing at the balls of his feet, head craned to his right. "I think I saw Eijun over there…"
"What?!"
Mei immediately tipped up, hard eyed and frown on his forehead, craning his head to where Amahisa's looking and to his dismay, he could see the distinctive dark blue colours of Seido and the particular way the other teams almost walk out of their way to let them pass in their midst.
"Oh, shit," Mei harshly whispers.
He shrunk to himself, folding in even more than he already did the entire time this morning as if he's a deer trying to hide from a mountain lion.
He could hear a distinctive derisive chuckle that could only be from Katsuyuki and some 'eyy~' that's obviously jeering and sneering because they know what the hell has been going on lately. Maybe they know more than Mei knows as he's certain they kept in touch with their friends there.
"Oh, right," Amahisa, wide-eyed and smiling, turned to Mei, "they'll come this way, too! We're from the West Block!"
Mei stared open-mouthed at Amahisa, before turning to Carlos, who just uselessly shrugged, to ask for a rescue, before once again turning to the incoming onslaught that is the Seido Blues' Ace.
With an inelegant squawk, Mei belatedly realised that he's still clutching Amahisa's phone and he almost threw the phone at Amahisa's chest, before bounding behind Yamaoka.
"Aw! Oh? Narumiya, where are you going?" Amahisa asks, voice as loud as if he's speaking through a speaker.
Mei repeatedly cursed Amahisa in his head as he clutched tightly at Yamaoka's jersey, while making sure that he's covered from view.
"Why are you hiding?" Amahisa continues, as obnoxiously loud as before, or even louder. "Oi, Narumiya?"
Mei, nose flared and totally glaring, peeked around Yamaoka and pointed a harsh finger at Amahisa.
"Psst! You! I'm not here, you understand?" Mei says, whisper shouting the words that come out even harsher than what he intended, which in turn made him start to feel bad. "Narumiya Mei is not here. You did not meet him–"
"What do you mean?" Amahisa asks, eyes wide but this time it's because of innocent curiousity. Mei would have actually forgiven him for something, but then he saw his pout and Mei decided to forget his forgiving nature. Amahisa pointed at Mei. "You're here…"
Mei clicked his tongue and frantically took a look at the ever nearing Seido, which is just a few feet away. He turned back to Amahisa and with a strong glare, he muttered,
"You idiot…"
Before ducking behind Yamaoka, clutching on his jersey tighter as he just decided to let Seido pass. After all, they'll only pass, right? Passing by will only be like a few seconds. He's certain they wouldn't even notice Mei, no, they really doesn't care about Mei because he's their target to beat. Yes. He'll just have to wait it out and they're none the wiser. Everything will be fine–
"Yo! You guys are late! That's unprofessional!"
Mei could only wince.
"Yooo! Bro! You're just early!"
"You guys are close!?"
Mei held on tighter at Yamaoka's jersey while his heart beat faster than a horse would if it ran twenty miles. He could actually see every shoes stopping as their owner talk rather amiably and closely to every Inashiro players they could see. The sound of every hi-five and hellos seal Mei's coffin and only emphasised his doom.
"Ooh, Yama-chan, are you hiding something?" Asks a voice Mei recognized as Kuramochi's.
"Say no," Mei hurriedly whispers, head bowed low as he slightly adjust his position.
"Uhm, no," Yamaoka says.
"Oh? Hahaha! By the way, where's Mei?" Came the sneering voice of none other than Mei's rival, Miyuki Kazuya.
"Say, I'm nowhere," Mei whispers at Yamaoka, frowning despite himself and glaring at Fukui who just happened to stare at him.
"Uhm, Mei says he's nowhere," Yamaoka robotically says, almost lifeless that even Mei winced by how fake it sounded.
"Oh, I see, I see," Zono pipes in, almost as if he's talking to a kid. "But Yama-chan, did you grow another pair of legs?"
"Say yes–"
"No, they're not mine," Yamaoka says, his voice now alive and full of reason. "They're Mei's. He's hiding behind me."
Mei sighed, eyes closed as he clenched his jaw shut, the vein in his forehead ticking as his teammates around him snigger and laugh.
"Hyahaha! Why are you even hiding? Sawamura isn't here!"
"Eh?" Mei stood up straighter and peeked around Yamaoka, mouth fallen and he feels so dumb. He looked around and sure enough, there's no Eijun. Come to think of it, Mei is certain he'll hear Eijun first before he could see him. "Eijun's not here?"
"So you're really hiding from Sawamura!"
Mei pursed his lips, forcing himself to smile.
"Well, Eijun got ambushed by Yakushi," Kazuya says, patronising and mocking.
Mei directed his unimpressed glower at him.
"Didn't I tell you, you can't call him that?" He asks, voice low and serious. He stepped fully into view, hands resting on his hips.
Kazuya, ever the antagonistic one, only shrugged and smirked. He crossed his arms on his chest.
"Eijun did seem happy when I called him by his name, though," he gloats as if he's a kid. "Oh, and did you know he calls me Kazuya now?"
Mei blinked at him rapidly, a mortified smile splitting his face. He couldn't believe Eijun would call him Kazuya when he couldn't even utter Mei's given name. He shook his head to dispell some of the ache begining to form in his head.
"I don't care! Stop calling him Eijun, you don't have the right!" Mei says as he step forward.
Kazuya looked up at him through his lashes and blinked slowly.
"Oh, and you do?" He asks in this deliberate low voice, as if proving a point.
Mei stepped back, mouth opening and closing as he looked around as if to find the right answer to that.
Did he? For all he know, Eijun doesn't like him now. He couldn't even find it in him to call Mei by his name when Mei just as good as told him to call his name casually.
Oh, right, maybe he didn't have the right. For Eijun is a free person with a strong heart and can do whatever he pleased to do even if laying part of his truth out in the open and be humiliated by not getting any answer back.
Maybe Eijun even hates Mei now. Because he couldn't even respect him enough to form a coherent enough answer to Eijun's confession.
Wait, wait. Is that even a confession, though?
'I like you' could mean a lot of things. I like you as a friend, as rival, as someone to annoy, as someone to hate…
What does it mean? When he told Mei he liked him, what does he mean by it?
"… Oi, Mei?"
Mei jumped, wits coming back to proper alignment, as a hand shook him very hard on the shoulder. Fukui is leaning closer to him, with furrowed brows and curious eyes.
"Huh?"
"Are you all right?" He asks.
Mei cleared his throat and tried standing up properly. He nodded at his Captain and looked around. To his irritation, Miyuki is still sneering at him as if he knew exactly what's going on in his mind. And much to Mei's dismay, it's not only him looking smug, but almost everyone in the Seido lineup looks like they're boasting they knew a secret they will keep but will definitely brag about knowing.
"Yup," he says, nose stuck up high in the air. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Fukui only smiled at him painfully.
"I call Eijun Eijun," Amahisa pipes up, pouting and curious. Then as if he's not disturbed, he turned to Miyuki and ultimately glowed like he's got a bright idea. "What–"
At that, though, Miyuki tiredly sighed, frowning with his eyes tightly closed as if he's trying to reign in his temper. His hand was raised to stop Amahisa from further speaking.
"For the last time, Amahisa-san, no."
"But–"
"Look, one more word about having a mid-tournament boot camp wouldn't do you good, Amahisa, it's a no. That's final."
"But–"
"No buts–"
"But Eijun will definitely like extra practice!" Amahisa loudly says, cutting off Kuramochi's admonition, much to Kuramochi's furious annoyance. Amahisa only pointed to their left. "Look, he's here! Just ask him!"
It seems to Mei like this morning is full of surprises. He said nothing but exclamations of either surprise or confusion. And he didn't like one bit of it.
Eijun, Mei didn't know how, already wedged himself in his life without him knowing where the seams of their fate started weaving together.
Like, why in the world would Mei let himself be affected by anyone, and not anything (like baseball), especially by someone as irritating and as annoyingly volatile a person like, well, like Eijun?
There is no instance to remember when Mei felt this way, except if Eijun is involved. He was one to be sure of his emotions– because usually it's just calmness, regality, pride and confidence– before knowing Eijun. Now, though, Mei is certain he's excited and happy but then he's scared and nervous. He wanted to see Eijun, but he also wanted to hide. But he wanted to show off to Eijun, but then he's not sure if he still looked fine or if his worrying is showing that he's haggard and unpresentable that Eijun didn't want to see him anymore.
And Mei couldn't do anything else.
Mei could only let himself breathe heavily, squirming in his shoes as he stood rooted on the ground as he spot Eijun walking toward them, Kominato and Furuya in tow. Correct that, Kominato, Furuya and the rest of Yakushi in tow.
Although Mei is certain Eijun hasn't seen him yet, the chuckles beside him as well as the teasing glances thrown his way, clearly made him decide to just stick through it and that running away is quite unsightly and unkingly.
With a heavy breath and solemn face, he only tilted down his chin and waited for the rather rowdy third party coming toward them.
"– I'm telling you!" Mei could hear Eijun say, his brows clearly furrowed.
"Kahaha! I thought it's cause Furuya is injured!" Mishima says loudly, causing Furuya to lean away from Mishima with a frown and Haruichi to just smile steely like his patience is being tested.
"Sawamura has become more awesome!" Todoroki says behind Eijun, his manic eyes never straying from his jersey number.
Eijun didn't answer. He just shrugged and puffed out his chest, clearly boasting and feeling himself. Despite his own logic, Mei chuckled and rolled his eyes.
He's still the same. Mei feels absurd now. He's fussing over nothing. Eijun liking him doesn't really change anything.
"Oh? Narumiya!" Mishima pointed at him.
Except, it does.
One look before, Mei wanted to melt. One look now, Mei melts, his remains seeping through the asphalt. One look now and he's a red mess, hot from his fingertips to the tip of his hairline. He's tugging on the loose skin on his elbow, looking at Eijun first and then, as he confirmed his eyes are on Mei, looking away, his hand turning to fist as hard as a rock.
Separation. Yes. Separation makes everything exaggerated.
He never did dwell on it before, but he missed the times they share the same room, when they finished their baths too early and it's just the two of them while Okumura and Asada were still finishing up their meals in the cafeteria. The silence and peace it brings, his heart beating fast, fingers worrying the hem of his shirt, while smeaking glances at Eijun at the far end corner of the room. It made Mei's room back in Inashiro look bleak and sad that first night he came back after the camp.
He pursed his lips, clamping down on the longing of the times passed.
"Kahaha! The one to beat!"
Mei subconsciously cleared his throat as he tugged on his collar and straighten the front of his jersey. He looked one more time to the boring gray walls of the stadium before sneaking a look at Eijun. Only to find him already looking back (or, Mei's brain whispers treacherous delusions, Eijun never looked away).
He quietly rejoined the Seido ranks, almost blending in at the back line with Kominato and Furuya, letting his Yakushi peers continue the talking.
"Yes, we'll see him in the finals, HAHAHA! And it will be I, Mishima, who will get the winning shot!"
"Kahaha-hahaha! I'll blast you away!" Todoroki just continued.
"You guys realize we're on the same block, right?" Amahisa asks.
"And so–"
"And so it will be Ichidai playing against Inashiro!"
Mei looked away from Eijun, frown beginning to form as he pouted to himself. He looked down to his feet, feeling his ears burn bright red.
He's so cool.
And he's only standing there. Eyes reminiscent of how condescending Mei's own eyes could be, hand in his pocket, brow raising in challenge.
Mei almost stomped his feet in frustration. Mei knows Eijun is attractive, all right. Just that, after acknowledging the fact that he does have a crush on Eijun, there's this strange and curious revelation that whatever Eijun will do, even if he always pose with a silly face that could make him ugly, and however ugly he could get, Mei will always– and that is always– find him attractive.
And this is just the first, in over a few days' time that he sees Eijun. What more if they'll have a game where Mei could watch him. What more? How much more would Mei feel this way?
He wanted to cry.
No, no, if he did, he'll be busted. After all, Mei is assuming he's alone in this ship right now. Eijun must hate him now. Or repulsed.
Determinedly, as if they're in a game of life and death, he nodded to himself, eyes finally raising from the ground, fist pumping in his side.
"– Narumiya!"
With a start, Mei looked at Amahisa, who's pointing at him rather indignantly, as if he's proving a point. Mei, brows raised, tilted his chin up and narrowed his eyes.
"What?" Mei asks, as curt and cutting as he could.
"Which team do you want to play against in the finals?!" Amahisa continued asking, red-eared and nostrils flared.
"It doesn't matter–" Mei begins.
"That's what I said," Eijun matter-of-factly says, two fingers rubbing on his temple. Mei noticed he's once again in the middle of it all, always surrounded, as he stepped forward for whatever Amahisa's stewing up. "It'll probably be like: it doesn't matter, I'll just beat everyone that come my way," he looks at Mei, chin tilting down, "right?"
Mei blinks at him, brows raised questioningly, but Eijun just shrugged at him, unimpressed eyes returning to Amahisa.
Amahisa pointed a finger at Eijun.
"That's cheating!" Amahisa says, actually stomping a foot on the ground. "You just cut off his words!"
"Well it doesn't change the fact that the gist was there," Eijun reasons.
"But–"
"If you don't believe me, why don't you try that other one? Try it, go on."
Amahisa turned to Mei, who belatedly realised he has his mouth opened so he hurriedly closed it.
"Will you give me your number?" He asks, brown eyes dead serious and all indignation or laugh lines in his face smoothened.
"He wouldn't give it to you," Eijun monotonously says. Everyone sniggered, openly or under a hand, making Mei feel this aggravation that's become a familiar feature when it comes to Eijun. "Trust me."
Mei's eyes hooded even more, nose still stuck in the air.
"Who said I wouldn't give out my number?" Mei asks, voice cutting. He extended his hand palm up. "Give it here."
Amahisa's mouth fell and Mei felt a sense of comfort as well as happiness that he has proven Eijun wrong as he input his number in the phone that was passed to him. As he returned the phone, he took one look at Eijun. And then he's plunged to a sense of sinking feeling reminiscent of losing. Seeing him smiling smugly as Amahisa turned to look at him with mouth still open, phone in his hand clutched to his chest and as Eijun shrugged before looking back at Mei, he realised he's been cheated on. And in plain sight.
"So you gave it," Eijun says. He smiled at Mei.
Mei frowns, grimacing at such impertinence.
"You… you played me?" Mei asks, muttering through his teeth.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Eijun says, and even the days they've spent together and the fact that he's attracted to Eijun, Mei really hates this side of him. This impertinence and innocence blending together into this perfect manipulator. "I didn't mean to play you."
Mei pushed around Amahisa to try and face off with Eijun.
"What do you mean you didn't mean to? That's rubbish! I know you meant to make me give my number away!"
"Well, I didn't know you'd be provoked," Eijun says, smiling amusedly. "After all that talk right in front of you, who would have fallen for such a trap?"
Mei points at Eijun, stepping forward even more until they could hear each other even when whispering.
"Right, right, so from the bat, you're admitting that you actually played me, no no, you manipulated me to giving out my number! You… you…"
Eijun, having stepped forward to meet Mei halfway, has his hands to his hips, eyes narrowed to meet Mei's challenge. He chuckled, eyes roving on Mei's face so openly, Mei's lost in the orbit.
"What?" he asks when Mei couldn't continue. "What are you trying to say, hm?" Eijun says, eyes glinting of wicked amusement.
Mei scoffed and crossed his arms, even though the silent mirth from his reammates is unbearable. He opened his mouth to answer but in the end, just rolled his eyes and clamped his mouth shut.
"For the record, no one forced you to give it away but if you're that angry," Eijun stoops lower to Mei, his hot breath smelling of cinnamon and some type of yummy bread fanning on his face, his eyes obviously mocking, "you can just call me and the two of us will talk about it, hm," he says, before taking the phone from Amahisa.
*
Following his addition to the group, the first chat is a chaotic
Acejun: Here. Narumiya Mei.
KouSaid: hooo~ welcome welcome!
Soucchi: so you did get Narumiya's number. Good job.
Soucchi: I've been looking forward talking with you, Narumiya.
KouSaid: we've been excited~
Acejun: That sounds ominous, Soucchi…
Mei: smh didn't want to be here
Acejun: you have no choice
Acejun: Kousei's been pressuring me
Mei: so I'm your accessory
Mei: it's your fault for getting my number
Acejun: you GAVE your number, though
Acejun: that's different
KouSaid: CHANGE HIS NICKNAME!!
Mei: I was forced! There's nothing I could do!
[KouSaid changed Mei's nickname to Mei-kun]
Acejun: literally no one forced you. You gave it yourself. Everyone's watching you do so.
Mei-kun: you provoked me to giving it!
Acejun: it's not my fault you're easily provoked
[Soucchi changed Mei-kun's nickname to NaruMEIya]
NaruMEIya: you know full well I'll be provoked so you did it!
Acejun: I DIDN'T! I did no such thing. Who would've thought you'd still give your number even after watching Kousei make a bet right in front of you?
Acejun: were you even listening?
Acejun: who could miss something like that?
Acejun: you're even looking at me like you're someone crazy.
NaruMEIya: I'm not looking at you! Goodness me, you're assuming
KouSaid: I think that nickname is fine
Soucchi: right? I'm good
NaruMEIya: and I'm not crazy. You're crazy!
Acejun: you must have left something here when you left
Acejun: your sanity
Acejun: I'll wrap it up and give it back to you when we meet next time.
NaruMEIya: I'm lots sane. Crazy boy.
[Acejun changed NaruMEIya's nickname to NaruMEIzy]
NaruMEIzy: you brat
[NaruMEIzy changed his nickname to NaruMEIya]
[NaruMEIya changed Acejun's nickname to Uglyjun]
NaruMEIya: good night, you ordinary beings
[Uglyjun changed his nickname to Acejun]
Acejun: good night, crazy
KouSaid: so
Soucchi: mmh.
KouSaid: should we make a group chat just the two of us, Soucchi?
Soucchi: might be a good idea.
KouSaid: okay.
*
"You're looking stressed," Carlos says, tapping Mei on the shoulder.
Mei looks up at him from having his head under his arms.
"Is it obvious?" He asks, rolling his eyes.
Carlos sit beside him, putting papers on top of his lap.
"Is it that group chat again? I told you not to chat if it makes you uncomfortable," Carlos says.
Actually, it is the chat.
"Yeah…" Mei sighs, staring at the blackboard.
But he's not uncomfortable. That is a fact. The group chat is making him… making him feel everything all at once. Like the emotions are in a whirlpool and he's at the center of it all. But it's not really uncomfortable.
Sure, it's making him dread to go in but he could justify that as, well, as Eijun is in there as well. It's all Eijun.
Mei is feeling annoyed because the chat is a reminder of Eijun's trickery. He's scared because of the thought that Eijun is in there, but that very thought makes him very excited that he look forward to reading and seeing his chats. He's happy (although he wouldn't admit that fact) that he's actually in a group chat and he appreciates this acceptance and sort of like belongingness of being in a group. And although most chats were about baseball, there are times that they're so silly it actually started dawning on him that… they're actually fun.
And the fact that he's got Eijun's LINE… like a literal line to connect them if Mei ever had the courage. It makes him giddy silly. Like the feeling of no gravity every time the swing goes to and fro. It feels free and reassuring, for no reason.
Which actually makes Mei so stressed.
Everything's conflicting and confusing. Mei actually is happy, but he knows he shouldn't. Not right before, not to mention during, a tournament where he'll surely face Seido which has Eijun, his potential love interest, as the center.
Because what if he couldn't face Eijun right? Correctly? What if he stumbled and make the same mistake he did during his first year? He couldn't bear to let his team down. Never again.
As much as he liked Eijun, he wanted to make his team proud and put him, and by extension the team, up there to be the best.
Mei isn't sure–which makes him so stressed– if he has the strength to look at Eijun like an enemy that should be put down.
"Mei? Can you hear me?"
Mei blinked at the hand that was waving in front of him. Then he looked to the side at Carlos, who has furrowed brows.
"What?" Mei dumbly asks, trying to wipe off the saliva he felt on the corner of his lips.
Carlos sighed, looking Mei up and down with eyes pinched as if he's pitying Mei or judging him brutally in his mind.
"I think you need to stop lying to yourself," Carlos says, straightening out the papers on his lap. "Probably you'll even be happier if you did."
Mei stuttered, the corner of his mouth pulling up in disbelief.
"What?" Mei gasps, brows raising. "We're literally talking about… what, the group chat?"
Carlos' eyes narrowed tiredly, sighing so long Mei is scared he's really trying to lose all his breath to die.
"We are talking about the group chat," he monotonously says. "Which has Eijun-kun in it."
Mei violently coughed, raising a finger when Carlos opened his mouth to speak. Carlos only raised a brow as he waited for Mei.
"Wh-what has Eijun got to do with it?" Mei asks, brows raised challengingly.
Carlos stared at Mei, eyes narrowing even more and his lips pressed more in a tight grimace.
"You're not an idiot…" Carlos only says, much to Mei's demise.
Mei could feel his brows clashing as his face break.
"I am not," he says, nodding and keeping the charades. "But I still do not know what you're talking about."
Carlos just continued looking at him unimpressed, brow raised and eyes hooded. Mei just shook his head and blinked back at him.
They continued on like this for a minute, no one backing down.
Until finally, Carlos sighed.
"Okay, whatever," Carlos shakes his head left and right, eyes wide. "It's not like I could have a say about your life."
Mei watched him stand up and fix himself, unbuttoning three buttons on his polo.
"One thing, though," Carlos says, one eye squinted. "You may want to be honest with yourself, to make your life easier."
Mei's muscles slackened even more as his thoughts threw him back weeks ago during the night Eijun and him first have a talk and how he said something truly genuine.
"I won't pry, but try to keep your head to the games, yeah?" Carlos says as he started walking away. "Seido has won their second round game…"
Mei sighed to himself, already sagging on the table.
He is honest to himself.
He did acknowledge he likes Eijun. That is a fact now. But everything in the universe feels like its telling Mei they couldn't be.
Because for one, he isn't sure if Eijun likes him back the way he likes him.
---
(And wait. When did Mei even think he 'likes' Eijun? He's pretty sure it's just a crush. A silly, little crush. Liking and crushing on someone is different, right?)
*
KouSaid: we're playing Yakushi tomorrow.
Soucchi: so I heard. Good luck.
Acejun: I'll watch you.
KouSaid: you will?
Acejun: yep. Boss's orders.
KouSaid: let's meet!
KouSaid: then watch Mei's game together!
Soucchi: I'd like to come if I'm in Tokyo.
Acejun: yeah, we'll watch Inashiro's game, too
KouSaid: take a day off, Soucchi!
Mei scrolls on the chats, eyes wide and brows pinched as he read in horror the plans the trio make.
It'll be his game. Usually it's fine, same old same old. He'll deliver his best. But this is Eijun he's talking about, his supposed crush, who will watch his game.
That's a big deal, right?
Like, Mei knows he's perfect and all, the best pitcher over all, the only one the heavens and the earth bow down to, but this is Eijun.
He's different.
He looks up, brows setting on a determined furrow. He nodded to himself before sitting up straight.
It's time to practice.
It'll be very unsightly if Eijun saw him behaving less of a king that he is.
---
"You know, I thought you'd only sink lower in yourself when…" Carlos catches himself and shakes his head.
Mei looks up from his phone that he's used to looking at now for when there'll be chats to pop in.
"Hm?"
"Ah, no, no," Carlos shakes his head more vehemently. "I was just thinking how worried I got when it seemed like you're turning, you know, introverted–"
"What?" Mei gasps, mouth twitching.
"–you know, more… should I say thoughtful? And not out there? D'you get what I mean?"
Mei shakes his head, brows furrowed even as he smiles in disbelief.
"No."
Carlos narrowed his eyes at him, before sighing heavily.
"You know you don't really like out-of-pitching training, right? But, the other day, you woke us up at, what, five in the morning to train with you? What happened?"
Mei blinked at Carlos, who just stared back at him neutrally.
"Also, yeah, you have friends, but you don't, say, commit to them but when you're in that group chat, suddenly you're always in it, you know? Like you're involved."
"Where are you getting on?" Mei asks, smiling full on at the absurdity of it all.
"You've changed, somehow," Carlos finishes, using his hands for big gestures.
Mei just continued staring at Carlos, mouth hanging open as his brows raise slowly. He looked around, trying to think.
"Well…" he starts, eyes darting back and forth to Carlos. "Well, it's not like I hated training before…"
"Do hated it, though…"
"… And it's not like I hated everyone before…"
"You hate everyone, though…"
"… True, I can barely tolerate others, but it's not like I'm hostile…"
"You are a bit hostile…"
"… To the point that I'm being unreasonable…"
"Oh, please," Carlos rolls his eyes.
"… And you should know how I'm always surrounded by everyone, and they love me…"
Carlos shakes his head.
"No. Nah-nah. Just no."
"But I know nothing happened that could possibly cause this, this change you're saying," Mei shrugs, shaking his head as he stare at Carlos impassively, "it's just plain illogical."
Carlos stared at him, mouth hanging open. He raised his brows at Mei and then smiled almost patronisingly to the point where Mei feels like a child listening to an adult straighten them out of bad behaviour.
"Nothing happened?" Carlos asks, still donning that smile.
Mei shrugged impassively. Carlos only pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. Then he turned to somewhere behind Mei and pointed.
"Oh, Nabe-san!" Carlos says, sending a gleeful, derisive smirk at Mei. He waved happily at who he's talking to.
Mei only rolled his eyes and clicked his phone open to see what the idiots are talking about now at the group chat and was about to open the messaging app.
"Carlos, you're early," Mei heard the man say.
Mei could hear enthusiastic hi-fives above his head and he sighed heavily as he could feel them standing very close behind him.
Carlos laughs right at Mei's ear, which caused him to click his tongue as he just started reading the most recent chat which is from Eijun. Mei rubbed his right arm, feeling a slight chill run through his bones.
"Oh no! No, we have no business being here early," he sarcastically says, chuckling. "It's not like we have a game later," he says, laughing together with the man. He nudged Mei in the arm, which Mei brushed off in exchange for reading Eijun's chat.
It says,
[Acejun: We're sitting at the east wing. Nabe-san had the tickets.]
East wing is where Inashiro is, though…
"Mei, look, your former roommates are here."
Mei's eyes widened at the realisation that Eijun's Nabe and Carlos' Nabe might be the same person because Eijun did say they're at the east wing and there is a Nabe talking to Carlos right beside him, not to mention the other Inashiro kids turning their way and waving at the people behind with this sickeningly wide smiles on their faces.
His mind went overdrive thinking that Eijun could possibly be right behind him at this very moment and that he could possibly be looking at Mei right now. Mei thinks about the thoughts that might be running in Eijun's brain as he look at Mei and it just plunges him to this mutated brain freeze that run to so high heat it's not supposed to be called a 'freeze' anymore because he's so hot in the face he thinks he could fry an egg on his forehead.
And his heart beat fast, faster than how he could ever throw his fastball, as he began turning around to look properly at the newcomers.
You know, Mei sometimes think that there's a certain psychological effect cocktailed with a lot of chemical reactions behind liking someone.
(He isn't sure. He could barely remember his chemistry. But he is certain that it's taking its effect on Mei.)
It produces this sense of floating but he's completely grounded. See, his heart is beating fast and that should be scary, but it just comforts Mei in a way that it fascinates him to think that a person like him could actually feel this way toward another (and not baseball). And it is grounding in a sense that… it's all Eijun.
He is human, after all.
It annoys him, really. Having someone like Eijun to like. Even if the sun's out and it's hot as hell, once he met eyes with Eijun, there's like an extra ray of sunshine shining just from Eijun. He couldn't help but squint and grimace. But even then.
He's giddy Eijun's here.
Like floating on cloud nine giddy. Makes him want to smile openly and honestly.
Mei scrunched his nose when he saw Eijun looking down on him. See, that sounds really great, having your crush look at you and his heart actually fluttered harder, if possible. But Eijun looks at Mei like he's disgusted, and then suddenly he's thrown back to the time when Mei thought Eijun doesn't like him as a friend during their boot camp days and then realised… there's nothing much that changed.
After all, Mei did think Eijun liked Miyuki at the time when he's acting all catty toward Mei, only to be confessed to…
Mei turned his back to Eijun when he was suddenly reminded of that fact, ignoring Carlos' quiet chuckle when he saw Mei's unconsciously bouncing feet and red ears and this pursed mouth where he suspects was Mei attempting to hide a smile.
"Eeyyy, what's that reaction?" Carlos asks, mouth spread to a sly smile. "You should at least be friendly! They're even your teammates!"
Mei shrugged, looked over his shoulder and, with the most sass and pride he could put on, smiled.
"Long time," he says, nodding at both Eijun and Okumura. Then, as if he's not actually happy on the inside that he wanted to jump and scream, he calmly pointed to the seats right across the aisle where they're seated. "You may sit there," he smiled scornfully, raising a brow at Eijun and he pointed to himself, "and watch carefully how a true king pitch–OW!"
He glared at Carlos, then massaged the sore spot in his head. Carlos only clicked his tongue at him and glared back.
"Be nice," Carlos says through his gritted teeth.
"I am nice!" Mei whisper-shouted, frowning deeper.
"Don't hit him," Eijun says. Almost like a plea, but also like an order. It's so out of nowhere Mei and Carlos turned as one to him. He rolled his wide eyes at Mei. "Good luck out there."
Then he leaves to where Mei pointed, red-eared and back hunched. Nabe only followed suit, his smile enigmatic as he waved them good luck. Okumura only glared down at Mei before silently bowing and following his seniors.
Mei huffs with indignation at the impertinence but his mouth twitched to a smile as he could remember his own self at Okumura.
He stared at Carlos and Carlos only nodded.
"That's you," he says, pertaining to Okumura. "Annoying, right?"
Mei only gave Carlos an indifferent huff before discreetly looking to the side where the Seido kids are, noticing for the first time how tightly he's holding his phone and how clammy his hands had become.
He could see Eijun poring over the material on Nabe's hands, listening intently to what the senior is saying.
Mei smiled to himself before clicking his phone open to back read the messages he likely missed.
Soucchi: good luck with your games, Mei, Kousei.
Soucchi: I wouldn't come today, but we'll watch the stream later on TV.
KouSaid: be sure to watch closely!
KouSaid: especially you, Eijun and Mei!
KouSaid: we'll fight it out!
Acejun: yeah. We'll fight you next.
KouSaid: you haven't even won your game this week??
Acejun: not yet, anyway
Acejun: it'll come down to you fighting me and me fighting Mei
Mei's eyes widened, putting a hand over his mouth to stifle a gasp.
KouSaid: stop it. You're making me fired up.
KouSaid: when you're not even my opponent today
Acejun: sorry O.O V
KouSaid: nooooo I really want to beat you now!
Acejun: I don't want to talk big, but I'll do anything to go to Koushien this year.
Acejun: it means, I'll beat you and Mei.
Mei blinks again, mouth widening to a smile as his brows rose.
KouSaid: I'll be the one to go!
Soucchi: I'll meet you there.
KouSaid: Soucchi! ㅠㅠ
Acejun: I'll meet you there, Souichiro-san :)
KouSaid: you're really annoying me, Eijun.
KouSaid: where's the reserved junior messaging me before? Is this Eijun? I thought you're nice??
KouSaid: which seats are you on?? I'll meet you later.
Acejun: We're sitting at the east wing. Nabe-san had the tickets.
KouSaid: kay, I'll beat you up after I'm done winning
Mei pinched his nose and chuckled quietly.
He couldn't believe Eijun would address Mei by his given name now that they're not really meeting each other. It's annoying.
Mei glanced Eijun's way and sighed to himself as he saw him looking hawk-eyed at the field where Ichidai and Yakushi are preparing to fight it out.
They're this close, but they still couldn't talk with each other properly. It's annoying. Mei wishes he should've just let them sit right beside him, like right here, but he knows he'll be distracted forever if he did…
Mei lightly scrunched his nose, pursing his lips to prevent a smile and looked at the field.
Carlos cleared his throat, so Mei glanced at him and saw him smiling smugly like he just had a secret he's bragging about knowing.
"What?" Mei asks, brows furrowing. Cutting and curt.
"What?" Carlos asks back condescendingly. It's not even a question. It's pure bragging. Like the annoying ones where the vowels are dragged. Mei wanted to smack him in the head so bad.
Mei clicked his tongue and jerked his head once, to assert dominance.
"What?" He asks again.
Carlos sniggered and then shrugged.
"Nothing," he says with the air of an entertainer. "I was just wondering why your cheeks are red or why your ears are red–"
"It's hot," Mei monotonously says, fanning himself, but Carlos heed him no mind as he thundered on.
"–or why you're smiling while looking at your phone or why you're looking over there across the aisle three times just in a minute, when in fact everyone knows you wouldn't give a shit about anything and anyone else beside yourself before. I was just wondering, you know," Carlos then turned scarily serious, black eyes boring holes on Mei's eyes, "what could have happened you became like that when you said nothing clearly happened to change you."
Mei's lips tightened to a white slash, nose flared, his eyes narrowed and his brows furrowed as he stared at Carlos.
Carlos shrugged.
"Don't mind me," he says, finally looking at the field. "I was just wondering if you knew your life would be easier if you're honest with yourself."
This again. Mei sighed, his angry face relaxing to one that's helpless.
As he looked at the field where the teams were bowing to each other, Mei knew he lost anyway. All his plans ever since the start of the boot camp were trashed and rendered useless.
So probably ignoring his psychological and chemical reactions wouldn't go as planned, too.
He sighed, ignoring this painful jolt in his chest, and opened the messaging app. He clicked on Eijun's profile and sent him a private message before putting his phone back in his bag.
It wouldn't do him good if his head wasn't in the game when Eijun will watch him play.
[Mei: oh, so you're calling me by my given name now? What changed?]
And so Mei quietly watched Kousei's breakout game, hoping he won't be easily distracted by the sunshine just a couple of feet away from him.
---
Eijun: :)
Eijun: sorry, I didn't even notice
Eijun: I must be calling you that a lot in my head these days
Eijun: that came out wrong
Eijun: I meant when you're chatting and Kousei-san and Souichiro-san are calling you Mei that's why
Eijun: It's not like I think about you all the time
Eijun: who are we kidding
Eijun: I confessed, so
Eijun: I'll just call you Narumiya-san again if you're bothered
Eijun: anyway. Good luck against Seiko later
Eijun: don't lose.
Eijun: lose only to me.
---
The game was brutal.
Which is to be expected when the opponent is Seiko. But it is nothing Mei couldn't handle. It's not easy, but it's manageable and within his normal limits. They even got the game called without ceding any runs.
Overall, the game is fine. Just that, he's knackered after giving seventy-five percent since the beginning until the game was called. He has to, if he doesn't want to give any runs. He is, after all, an intuitive and an intelligent person when it comes to baseball, contrary to what the others claim, and he knows for a fact that Seiko batters aren't an easy out.
Also, he has to be extra careful. Every energy he has, he gave to the thought of never embarrassing himself in front of his crush.
It's annoying to the point of it being embarrassingly tiring.
There are sides of it, see. One side is for his selfish desires to win and be seen as the best, one is to honour for the team and the seniors before him and the other one is for the teams he defeated before. Then there is a recent addition to that: the one for Eijun.
There's just this small desire– he says small because it is small and tolerable, but it is not inconspicuous; it glares at him like the reflection of the sun on glass and its ray is hitting him in the eyes– to show off more than he is currently showing off to make Eijun look at him and him only.
He has to consciously balance the showing off part to the reasonable part when playing, which is a very thin line he has to tread.
Not to mention, he has to avoid looking every now and then to where he knew was Eijun's seat or else every one including the audience's grandmothers will know…
He couldn't even imagine being so distracted.
It'll be a shame.
He couldn't help but sigh, look at the clear blue sky and ask: why did he has to have a crush at such a crucial time in his life? Why did it have to be Sawamura Eijun, his school's rival's Ace?
After the game, their coach's summary about the game and all the cool down and clothes changing, Mei finally has the time to take his phone out to find Eijun's reply to his message.
Delighted by the surprise of having his crush message him back, he hurriedly clicked on what Eijun has sent, only to regret it after going through some fast, roller coaster ride as he read through it.
Though he feels happy and actually flattered his crush thinks about him, he's not impressed Eijun even tried covering it up with some lame excuse that he even dragged Kousei and Souichiro on it. But when Eijun as good as admitted to having thought a lot about Mei, Mei just wanted him to take back his admittance because he just can't.
Eijun's just too honest it makes Mei feel so ashamed for running away that night. Now he doesn't even know the right timing to admit that he likes Eijun back.
(He was glad he didn't check his phone before the game. If he did and he read that, he wasn't sure what to do with himself. He'll probably embarrass himself in front of Eijun trying to impress him more.)
And he knows he likes Eijun.
But it feels unnatural because it's like they're going way ahead of themselves. Like moving forward at a fast pace.
Back to the group chat with Kousei and Souichiro, though, they're talking about Kousei's and Mei's game and if they want to meet up.
Kousei and Eijun were already together, Kousei having dragged the information out from Eijun and Eijun having to comply rather impassively.
Mei wanted to meet them as well but– and he wouldn't admit this out loud– he feels shy.
His stomach curdles just thinking about what he would reply to Eijun's chats. What, should he ignore Eijun's second confession again? Should he acknowledge it? How? How would he acknowledge it? Say thank you? HOW?
Mei is in this dilemma when Itsuki just as good as shook him.
"Mei-san!" He says, wide-eyed and sweaty. "Wake up! You're looking uglier than usual!"
Mei shook his head, blinking his eyes before frowning at Itsuki.
"What do you mean 'than usual'?" Mei asks, narrowing his eyes at Itsuki.
Itsuki immediately dropped his hands off Mei's shoulders and flinched back. He looked away before clearing his throat.
"Oh that's nothing," he says, more formally than what Mei is used to hearing from him. "Forget it, Mei-san. Will you meet Eijun-kun today?"
"No," Mei immediately says. He said it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, rolling his eyes to prove a point. But Mei did want to meet Eijun. He pouted to the side and almost tiredly picked up his sling bag on the bench.
Itsuki raised his brows at him as they get out of the locker room.
"Are you sure? We still have time, though…"
Mei whines, shoulders slouching.
"I do want to meet Eijun but…"
"But?"
Mei feels shy. He overthinks things these days; especially if it could possibly involve Eijun. He already had some pre-planned actions on different situations that could happen when he meets with Eijun. He thinks he's prepared for everything Eijun may throw his way– and he is, possibly, since as of yesterday, he's got 400 scenarios daydreamt where he's the one who won every time– and he's confident he could execute each and every one of those plans– but when it comes to finally making action, he chickens out.
He wanted to just run away.
Howeve, he does want to be with Eijun and be like how they did back at Seido. Even if they're unusually silent at times, Mei believes something happens between them when it's just the two of them, the aircon blowing hard and cold, Eijun reading his manga and Mei doing his meditation… (or inadmissible daydreams)
"I do want to hangout…"
"Then hangout," Itsuki says, shrugging. "It'll just be us in the bus for now, anyway. I'll text you when the coach arrive."
Mei opened the group chat to see if there were clues left, only to read Kousei's remark about leaving already after the game because their coach wants to review their game, which left Eijun to say they're heading back as well.
Mei didn't know the reason, but a sudden sense of relief washed through him. It has been easy, as if the entire universe know that Mei couldn't make a proper decision right now so they took it upon themselves to make the decision for Mei.
He blew a sigh, his entire muscles relaxing. He smirked, albeit tiredly, at Itsuki.
"Nah, they're gone," he says, ignoring Itsuki's narrowed eyes. He points to the direction of the washrooms. "I'll just wash my face…"
"Do you want me to wait?" Itsuki asks as he stopped at the bottom of the staircase.
Mei shakes his head.
"Nah, I'll just catch you later."
They nodded to one another and went their separate ways. Mei to the restroom and Itsuki to their bus. On the way, Mei bumped to some people but no one struck him as important. So he walked, back straight and chin up, a languid smile on his lips as he savor the win just moments ago.
Of course fate isn't on his side as, just as he turned around the corner, he bumped to none other than Sawamura Eijun.
Imagine the immediate change in his entire system. From relaxed to very alert. His heart beat so fast in his surprise, eyes blown wide just as his mouth dropped literally on the floor. He's not a shy or insecure person, but as his involvement with Eijun deepened, he finds himself shrinking within himself, stomach tightening.
It is very contradictory. Because it feels like he's excited, despite shying away from Eijun. The corner of his mouth twitched up in disbelief, eyes blinking fast. He put his hand on top of his heart and tried to breathe evenly, the other clutching tightly on the strap of his bag.
Similarly, Eijun looked at him with wider-than-usual eyes and raised brows.
"I-I didn't know you're still here…" Mei mutters, chuckling nervously as he stepped even forward so that Eijun has to swivel around to still look at Mei. Mei copied the motion, stepping backwards now to… maintain distance.
Eijun only narrowed his eyes and nodded slowly.
Mei opened his mouth but then, as he realized he doesn't really have the capacity to start a conversation, closed it. He wonders why he's so awkward now when he wasn't usually. He inwardly pouted because he doesn't want to be awkward.
"I just went to the loo," Eijun says, wincing belatedly when Mei chuckled once again.
Then another awkward silence descended like snow. Cold and dreary. It's so silent there is ringing in his ears. Mei looks away, his shoulders going up. He could feel the tips of his ears going red for being flustered this much.
Eijun cleared his throat and Mei looked back at him.
"Nice game earlier," he says.
"I know," Mei says, chest puffing out proudly despite being flustered. He chose not to fault Eijun for rolling his eyes. "I'm the king after all."
Eijun softly chuckled as he looked on the floor, shaking his head. Mei quietly smiled to himself, biting the inside of his lip.
There is a place right between order and chaos. It's this serenity. Content in this space of silence and companionship. Where one is able to rest in peace while feeling his blood rush through his veins in excitement. And he feels good.
Good enough that when Eijun looked at him, head tilted down so that he's looking at Mei through his lashes, it's all right.
"Did you get my text?" Eijun asks, forehead creasing.
And good enough for Mei not to run away physically, emotionally and mentally.
He nodded, corners of his mouth twitching up.
Eijun only watched him then, as if he's waiting for Mei to say something else. When he didn't, Eijun stood straighter and put his hand on his pocket.
Mei didn't acknowledge it before since they're almost always together but, as they've been separated for a few days now, Eijun looked really cool in his school uniforms. It's like living in his own anime. It makes him happy.
"What should we do about it, then?" Eijun asks, brows raised. "Should we run away again?"
Mei opened his mouth, looked away and then closed it again. Eijun cleared his throat again.
"What do you mean?" Mei pathetically asks, beating himself inwardly for running away again. At the last second, though, he backtracks. "Your confession?"
Eijun nodded.
"You understand, right?" Eijun asks, taking a step to Mei, who subconsciously took a step back. Eijun's mouth slants up as his eyes narrowed. "I like you–" he scrunched his nose "–even though you're like a spider–"
"Oi!"
"–terrorising everyone even though you're so small and then running away at the sign of aggression, and I'm not even aggressive to you! I just confessed and you–you didn't even say anything–"
"How can I say anything when you just blurted it out like that?" Mei retaliates, chin up and flushed cheeks heating up even more. "How do you suppose I act? Should I say yes, I like you too, right away? Do I run to you immediately? It's not like…"
(It's not like he's got an experience when his crush is reciprocated.)
Mei glared up and down at Eijun, taking a step back again.
"Like what?" Eijun asks, stepping forward. He jerks his head up, as if challenging Mei to continue. "Hm?"
Mei chuckled shakily, looking at everything but Eijun.
"Not like…" then he looked back at Eijun. "I've had someone confess to me."
Eijun frowned at him.
"No one has confessed to you?" He asks, incredulous. "Why…?"
"B-because I'm a jerk," Mei forces out, gritting his teeth.
Eijun only narrowed his eyes at him before looking at the ground. He put a hand on his chin, and frowned.
"Hmm, I see," he finally says as he looked back at Mei.
Mei opened his mouth, as if asking a silent question. Eijun only cleared his throat and shrugged, scratching the back of his neck.
"What?" Mei asks, turning defensive.
"Nothing," he says, the tips of his ears turning red. "Just that I know that's a lie."
Mei's brows rose, eyes blinking fast, sputtering.
"How…?"
Eijun smiles small, shaking his head a bit.
"There's no way no one likes you," he says. "I know you're someone to look up to, so I know there are people who must have confessed to you."
Mei forced a snort out, looking away as he back off.
"You probably just pushed them away like you did to me, hm?"
Mei mutters intelligibly, some words even he doesn't understand.
"So? What do we do now?" Eijun strongly continues, so strong that when he took another step, Mei doesn't even have the energy to maintain distance. "Should I apologize and get on with my life? I have nothing to do with you and you have nothing to do with me, should we do that? Should we forget it?"
Mei looks up at him, heart pounding, painfully aware that he couldn't forget anything of Eijun even if he wanted to. He kept mum, though, lips shut like a zipper.
Mei could feel his brows clash as he continued looking at Eijun. Eijun passively looked back, seemingly all traces of emotion gone from his face.
"You should know, I'm not like those you pushed away before." Eijun says, taking a small step toward Mei, closer but curiously unthreatening. "Even if you don't want to acknowledge me, I'll go after you. After all, who am I fooling? I've already confessed I like you."
At the onslaught of words of confession, breathed and formed right in front of Mei with complete abandon, honest eyes never once leaving his and quiet voice yet clear and full of conviction. Mei could only gasp quietly, his hands trembling in his side as he tried to escape the gravity of his brown eyes, unable to form coherent sentence in his suddenly rose-tinted brain.
"Go on a date with me," Eijun says in the silence.
"No," Mei immediately says even if it's without thought.
"Ouch," Eijun says, actually putting a hand to his chest, blinking fast at Mei like he kicked him on the foot. "You didn't even think about it. Think about it first!"
Mei's mouth twitched, eyes closing just for a moment as he shook his head.
"How about movie this weekend?" Eijun asks, relaxing once more.
"No," Mei says again. He frowned, narrowing his eyes. "Don't you have a game?"
"Will you watch?" Eijun asks in a beat.
"No," Mei says. It's not like coach will allow them to take an excursion in the middle of the tourney even if it's to watch a game. "We have practice."
Eijun sighs heavily.
"Practice hard, then," he says, letters dragging long like a threat. "You'll need it."
Mei only raised a brow, corner of his mouth twisting to a smirk.
"But you're gonna lose, anyway," Eijun continues, taking another half step at Mei.
Mei's chin tilted up as the usual condescension glint in his blue eyes.
"Not on my watch," he says. He smirked, cold eyes narrowing at Eijun's widening smirk. "Sawamura."
Eijun only sighed a chuckle, eyes closing momentarily and he bites his lip, head tilting back.
"Damn, this is making me greedy."
"Hm?"
"Nothing," Eijun says, slowly shaking his head. "You're annoying."
---
Mei blows out a sigh, forcing himself to calm down. He ignored Carlos' questioning eyes and just sat down, making himself more comfortable because what the hell.
Who does Eijun think he is, storming Mei's entirety just like that?
It annoying how, in just a single week– no less than three days– Eijun has managed to make Mei like him. It's annoying, it's infuriating.
They weren't even friends!
Mei is pretty sure Eijun knew nothing about him so why? Why does he sound so confident saying he like Mei?
And why the hell did Mei develop a crush when it's the summer tournament of his third year, the year it mattered the most? Why the hell did he develop a crush on Eijun, their rival's Ace? Why the hell did Mei develop feelings for Eijun when he barely knew him?
What's more annoying is that although Mei knew he likes Eijun, he could barely talk to him.
The most annoying is that Mei barely knew Eijun but he got Mei so weak in the knees he could barely stand.
Why does he like Eijun so bad?
Mei kicked the seat in front of him, clicking his tongue.
(Which is a mistake because one second there's Katsuyuki glaring at him through the gap between the seats and another second, a chip came flying to his cheek as a derisive chuckle resounded even as Mei growled.)
*
Game Day.
The day he's facing with Seido. After watching Seido blast away Kousei's ever growing strength, there's something that seemed to awaken in Mei's mind. Especially after watching Eijun pitch like he's just breaking free from whatever is restraining him.
It's like a mixture of excitement and awe. Knowing that he's facing Eijun, who's becoming even stronger as he play, brings him heat that makes him giddy and somewhat satisfied because Eijun should be growing ever stronger and strong fights the strong.
Like a test to see who's stronger and who has more growing up to do.
Eijun makes Mei smile, and not just because he's pleasant to look at, it's because Mei just liked looking at a strong Sawamura Eijun. It's this sense of pride like right now, he's getting to where Mei's standards are.
One of the anomaly.
See, Mei knew he's an anomaly, himself. Like the one standing out among a crowd without doing anything at all. He knows he has talent and it's up to him to hone it for his skills but he also knows he has more maturity to go through and there's definitely room for improvement.
Especially emotional maturity. And he's working on it now.
He's not an idiot. He's just…
Someone who, every time he sees Eijun as they pass by each other during their jog around the diamond, couldn't help but berate himself inwardly, to the point where he noticed Itsuki looking at him with a deeper than usual frown in his forehead.
Someone who feels guilty feeling butterflies in his stomach every time Eijun smiled at him and he wanted to run.
"Hi, Mei!" Eijun shouted the third time they did meet, smack dab in the middle of the field, triple rays of sunshine working hard to make him even brighter that it hurt Mei's eyes.
"Just run, you annoying lizard," Mei quietly says as they passed each other, eyes squinted on the ground as he continued running. He pursed his lips, hoping he's not too red in the face.
"What?"
Mei looked over his shoulder and saw Eijun with big smile running to his direction. Behind him, he saw Kuramochi and Haruichi looking at Eijun like he's a lunatic running amok. They did nothing but shake their heads before reluctantly following their Ace, though. Now Mei and Itsuki were joined by Eijun, Haruichi and Kuramochi with their jog.
"Why are you running here?!" Mei asks on top of his voice, muscles tightening as he tried running faster in hopes of outrunning Eijun.
"Kyahaha! No escape, Narumiya!"
"Damned Kuramochi couldn't even keep an eye on his juniors…"
"Let's jog together, Mei!" Eijun says right next to Mei's ear.
"You're too noisy," Mei says, voice cold.
Mei somewhat wished Eijun will be deterred so he won't follow anymore, but Eijun just chuckled and easily fell into a rhythm with Mei. Itsuki somewhat slowed down and melted into the background, leaving them alone, much to Mei's helplessness.
"I'm excited," Eijun suddenly says.
"Good for you," Mei says, left side of his body melting.
"Yes," Eijun dreamily says. "We'll be crowned kings of the West."
Mei's mouth twitched.
"Mhm."
"Are you resigned to your fate?"
"You mean my fate of being the best? Sure."
"You are already the best, Mei," Eijun says.
Mei narrowed his eyes at Eijun, brows slightly creasing. He wasn't sure if it was patronizing, but Eijun's soft smile reminded him that this boy actually likes him.
Mei isn't so sure about his preferences, but Mei thinks Eijun couldn't possibly be malicious toward the person he liked. Although he's being nasty toward Mei despite claiming he likes him.
"Just that my team is stronger than your team this year," Eijun adds in a softer voice. "And you'll be, you know, crushed."
Mei's mouth stretched to this almost malicious and mean-spirited smirk.
"I know I wouldn't be crushed, Sawamura," he says, blue eyes turning paler and narrower. "Even if we lose. And even if you win, doesn't mean you're better than me."
Mei glanced to his left. Eijun's face scarily resembles Mei's. Mean and cold. With eyes that could swallow Mei whole and smile that could cut through the universe.
"That just means there'll be room for more improvement to be stronger. Even stronger than what I am, what we are, now."
Eijun's smile fell as his eyes widened slightly. He stopped running altogether and Mei ran ahead, not even sparing him a glance.
Some seconds later, there's a laugh and heavy footfalls thundering behind him says Eijun's catching up.
"What's that I'm hearing? Is that some advice coming from senior Narumiya Mei?"
"Shut up," Mei huffs, rolling his eyes.
Eijun laughs.
"Also, it feels like you're resigned to losing? What with your words and all…?"
Mei chuckled drily.
"I'm merely mirroring your demise later, loser," Mei says, chest twinging a bit in fear of being too much to Eijun, who only laughed, dispelling Mei's small guilt. "Some consolation for your hurt feelings…"
Eijun smiled at him, making Mei's ears even hotter. Mei jogged faster, which Eijun has no difficulty matching.
"I'm glad we didn't forget…"
Mei's smile froze and his neck almost hardened to the point where he couldn't breathe. Beside him, Eijun is looking only at him.
"I'm glad you acknowledged my feelings–"
"We're not talking about that right now."
Eijun shuts up. They jogged in silence. Suffocating but not so much, almost like the quiet times they had in Eijun's cold room when Mei already knew he's got a crush on Eijun and he's trying to ignore it, but still so comforting because Eijun's with him.
"If I lose I wouldn't hate you," Eijun declares, breathless and shaky.
"If I lose I'd hate you," Mei counters, brows up.
"You wouldn't," Eijun says.
Mei glanced at him through the corners of his eyes.
"Oh?"
"You're not the one to hold it against your teammates or your opponents," Eijun says, shrugging. "You're someone who'll beat himself up and probably blame himself for everything… or maybe blame himself for not being enough…"
Mei snorted.
"It appears to me you're assuming you knew me…"
"I don't," Eijun bluntly says. Mei bites his lip, frowning at the ground. "And I really want to know you."
Mei stared at him in dismay, mouth almost hanging open.
"I want to be your friend, too–"
Mei sharply shook his head.
"Eijun, we're right in the middle of a tournament," Mei spits out through his gritted teeth. He's breathing heavily, but the cause is not because of physical exertion. "You can't tell me something like that now!"
"I know! I know…" Eijun shakily says, huffing. He violently scratched his head. "That's why I'm so guilty coming here…"
Mei frowned at Eijun, sensing doom coming.
"… It's like I'm forgetting myself." Even Eijun's voice sounds like he's sulking. "It's cringy thinking about you all the time–"
"It's cringy thinking about you as well," Mei grumbles to himself.
"– but what can I do, hm?"
"You're becoming shameless…" Mei says. He couldn't possibly deal with another confession right before their game. Can he stay sane?
"Should I stay reserved, then?" Eijun asks blatantly, stopping in his tracks. "Do you prefer me timid? Because we've been through this discourse for a couple of times and again, for what? I've already confessed."
Mei closed his eyes tightly, blowing a dejected sigh as he stopped as well, turning back a little.
Eijun grumbles to himself. His heavy sigh pressed on Mei's shoulders and weighed him down. "But, I apologize if you feel burdened."
"I'm not burdened…" Mei thoughtlessly says, looking away as the band of Itsuki, Haruichi and Youichi ran past them, eyeing them up with wide eyes and furrowed brows.
"Yes, yes," Eijun says. "Of course you're not."
Mei crumples his face, looking around them.
"You wouldn't be bothered by something that's not beneficial to you."
Mei, eyes stinging hot, blinked furiously as he looked back from Eijun's suddenly cold brown eyes.
"You wouldn't care," Eijun mutters, laughing.
Mei took deep breaths, feeling his neck twanging at every inhale.
"Eijun," he says, pathetically shaky and weak. He cleared his throat. "Eijun, if this is your ploy to mess me up…"
"That is not my intention," Eijun says. His voice is strong even if it's quiet. "I just–" he sighs "–I guess I wanted to tell you if I lose to you, I wouldn't hate you. I'd probably just hate myself–"
"No, no, don't hate yourself."
Eijun laughs, derisive and not suitable for the image Mei conjured of Eijun.
"I'd beat myself up, but that's it." Taking a step closer at Mei in that unthreatening manner, eyes clear and bright. "I'd still like you. Just..." a sigh, unbelievably quiet yet resonant, "... more insecure–"
"Don't sell yourself short–" Mei began, already rolling his eyes.
"Urgh! I just want you to see the best of me!" Eijun kicked the dirt, hand swiping on his face. "This is our last game... and you're someone who's strong and would probably be going away from me again!"
Mei doesn't know what to say to that, didn't know what to say to someone confessing to him right in the middle of the hot field, their teammates looking at them as they pass. He doesn't even want to begin thinking about how the people around them think what they're doing.
"I have to beat you now when I have the chance," Eijun declares, pathetic but unwavering, gold eyes looking straight at Mei's blue ones, "so please don't... run away from me."
---
At the end of this fateful day, Mei determined he should be the one to tell Eijun not to run away from him. Tired as he was to the point of being held up by Carlos, Eijun wouldn't even look at him.
Mei could only shake the Seido kids' hands, the friends they made for a week, all sweaty and hot as the heavy responsibilities of winning the national stage were laid upon their already heavy shoulders.
When it was Miyuki's turn to shake his hand, Mei nodded and stood in his full height.
"I told you I'll be the one to take this win," he says, gripping Miyuki's hand firmly, smiling a bit.
Miyuki rolled his eyes, but nodded.
"Well you better win it all or else, we would've lost for nothing." And ever the person with a poker face, Miyuki never appeared to have any tear track on his face, just the never ending crease at the corner of his lips and he's gone, Kuramochi replacing him on the line.
"Just so you know, we'll be watching you make a fool for yourself at Koushien," he says, grimacing and harsh, but the grip of his hand was gentle and kind.
"Just watch us win and you'll be proud you lost to us," Mei mouths off, returning his grimace.
Kuramochi sighed, eyes closing momentarily. Mei watched him, toes in his cleats curling.
"Seriously, though, you're..." Kuramochi starts, frowning at the ground as if searching for words. "You're really good and I hope you win. The week we had, I learned more about you and although I want to win, I know no other team more deserving than Inashiro... "
Mei stood there like a fish gulping for air, eyes wide at the unexpected words coming from one of the most insensitive person from Seido.
"... I mean, Seido deserves to win, but Inashiro isn't so far off..."
"Y-yeah, thank you...?"
Then they stood there, looking bewildered, eyes never staying at each other's more than a second.
"A-and, uhm," Kuramochi cleared his throat, head jerking back to where Eijun is, "Don't worry about him, he's stronger than you think he is and-and he's got Haruichi and Furuya... and Kane and Tojou and even the wolf-boy. He's got support, so..."
"Uh-huh," Mei breathes out while nodding, shoulders rising up and eyes wide.
Kuramochi scratched his head, frowning at the ground, "uhm, I know you like Sawamura more than you let on, but don't worry about him too much—"
Mei gasps, the dragging one that is exaggerated and unrealistic, leaning away from Kuramochi while both of his hands wave in front of his face.
"No, no, we're not– I don't..."
Kuramochi rolled his eyes at him, one corner of his mouth tugging upward.
"Carlos-kun is right, you know," he says. "It'll be easier if you're honest with yourself–"
"How did you even know that?" Mei asks, his jaw slacked.
Kuramochi thumped him on the shoulder, already moving away.
"We've been talking about you in our GC–"
"What?!"
"–good luck on Koushien!" He says, waving at him rather smugly.
"Ugh!" Mei kicked the ground, grabbing Kanemaru's offered hand rather roughly.
"Hm, good luck Narumiya-san," he quietly says, bowing.
At the meek reception, Mei couldn't help but bow back, his brows slanting up in the middle.
"T-thanks..."
Kanemaru moves on, but at the last moment, he stopped and turned back at Mei, a small smile in his tear-streaked face.
"Sawamura will be okay, he's strong," he shrugged. "Just give him, I dunno, three days, he'll move on–"
"Urgh!" Mei stomped his foot, earning a flinch from Kanemaru. "I don't care!"
Kanemaru, though, only let himself smile at Mei, looking more and more like Kuramochi and Miyuki.
"I'm not so sure about that..."
Mei opened his mouth to retort whatever comes at the top of his head but he could only roll his eyes as Katsuyuki cleared his throat and looked at him, his forehead crumpled and his mouth slashed thin and Mei is certain he's playing some violent thoughts he wanted to do to Mei in his head with how hateful he looks at Mei.
"Mei-san!" Haruichi surprisingly somberly greeted, grasping Mei's hand firmly. "I'll be glad if you win Koushien this year."
"Ah, just wait," he says, shrugging at the sight of Haruichi's teasing glare, giving Haruichi his own version of playful glare. "We'll take what could've been yours."
"If I've got time, we'll watch," Haruichi says, bowing to him slightly as he moved on. "I hope you'll last..."
"Ew, that's not how to wish a senior well, you know?"
"Ah, haha, I don't know what you mean in the slightest~" he slyly said as he moved on and Furuya stood in front of Mei.
Beside Mei, he could already hear Carlos talking to Eijun. In Mei's periphery, Mei could already see Eijun in his entirety. In his skin, he could already feel Eijun's presence, even in this proximity and how it creates this mysterious force that pulls Mei in.
In front of him, Furuya says something. He's watching his lips move and form words stringing to sentences. Watching his face contort as he form expressions, but Mei doesn't understand anything. His attention is solely on Eijun even if his eyes aren't on him.
And when Furuya bowed, a flattering bow if he's being honest, all he could note is Eijun waiting, looking at Furuya and maybe at Mei as he stood there. Mei felt a tap on his shoulder as Carlos passed behind him.
Finally when Furuya stepped back, Mei none the wiser to whatever he said, and Eijun is stepping in front if Mei, all he could feel is how his toes are curled and how tight his throat have become and how, in his weariness, his knees are shaking and he hopes, desperately hopes, that Eijun doesn't notice too much, so much that he string the beads and tie the ends that yes, Mei likes him, but no, not right now because this is Mei's turning point in life.
"Nice game," Eijun says in this voice that is ary and light, a smile on a corner of his lips, and a slight nod of his head.
Eijun must think Mei is a joke. Even if, say, Mei is a person who doesn't feel for Eijun, who didn't watch Eijun for hours, or someone who doesn't care about Eijun, Mei'll still notice how forced it is. How fake his smile is and how red his eyes are and how, just like Mei's, his neck seemed tense even in this distance.
"That's right, you play really good," Mei says, nodding, a true smile on his mouth, truer than the words he said.
"Thanks," Eijun says, breathy, airy and so so low Mei leans in to hear it. "You're still better though..."
Mei nodded, looked down and frowned, shook his head and looked back. Looked back to that red-rimmed, brown eyes, wet and glazed with unshed tears.
He should stop feeling guilty, but all he wished for Eijun is to see him succeed and being the one to crush part of his dream like this openly is too discordant, too polarizing to what he knows he should and shouldn't feel.
"Yes, my team is still..." Mei begins, but he couldn't find it in himself to mock like he did to Eijun's teammates. How could he, when Eijun looks so, so close to crying and Mei would most probably hate himself if he is the last straw to bring this mighty person to cry. "Still, it was a challenging game. You played really well."
Eijun chuckles, briefly frowning at his hands.
"Are you—" clears throat, "—are you going pro or college or...?"
Mei blinks at him, his words before the game resurfacing.
"As long as we have baseball, we can still play, so it's not like I can hide from you or-or run away—"
"Ugh, I can't listen to this."
When Mei said he jumped a foot off the ground, he probably didn't but it felt like it. He forgot he's still around people beside Eijun. Looking at Katsuyuki, he's got this scornful sneer that it almost hurt his feelings; beside him is Haruichi, that only has reddish ears and a grimace.
Mei rolled his eyes and grimaced back.
"I'd just go–"
"No way, we'll go," Katsuyuki says before grabbing Haruichi by the sleeve, sending Mei another glare over his shoulder as they moved along.
Mei sighs, shaking his head. The situation is already awkward enough inside his head, he doesn't need the people around them making it awkward physically, too.
Looking back at Eijun, though, it seemed like some tiredness or sadness is siphoned off him by Katsuyuki and Haruichi's departure, joining the rest of their teammates by the distance. He has this smirk and his eyes crinkle, and his shoulders don't hang.
Mei breathed out.
"As I was telling you, we'd still meet during games; we still have baseball–"
"I don't want just baseball, though," he says, having the audacity to roll his eyes despite it all. "I told you I want to be your friend."