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Seokjin would never go so far as to say that his current occupation is his dream job, but all things considered, he definitely could have done worse as far as employment goes. Once upon a time he had high aspirations, planning on going to medical school after he completed his undergrad. After that it would be nothing but job offers, the promise of a high paying career where he could crush his loans quickly and buy a nice car and big apartment in the center of Gangnam. He thought maybe he’d focus on something badass and edgy, become a neuro or cardiothoracic surgeon. Once he started the basic medical science portion of his degree, he quickly discovered the pressure was astronomical and when it came down to it, studying nonstop for over half a decade wasn’t really something he still wanted to commit to. It was a shame because his theoretical trajectory had looked so sexy on paper but in reality he felt buried alive under it.
Before all of this came to light for him, he managed to get himself a part time gig in the medical field, something he thought would be a great way to gain experience and network, and look good on a resumé. The clinic where he worked the reception desk was close to one of his favorite BBQ places, which is how he had stumbled on the opportunity when having dinner with some classmates one evening.
“Hey, this place is hiring,” Seokjin’s upperclassmen, Bogum, had mentioned with a tipsy snort, thumb angled toward the help wanted sign in the window. Seokjin, who had also had a few glasses of wine, had to take a moment to focus his eyes on the sign above the door.
“Wonder if the pay is any good,” he had muttered, cupping his hands to the window and pressing his nose to the glass to try to see inside the now-closed lobby, squinting against the darkness.
“You can’t be serious,” Seungho quipped, jostling Seokjin and he mirrored his stance to look inside for himself.
“Why not? Could be nice enough,” Seokjin offered with a sniff.
Bogum’s laughter was raucous this time and he doubled over for show, clutching his knee for support. “Seokjin-ah, it’s a sperm bank.”
“I know that,” Seokjin scoffed. “It’s in the field.”
“It’s like… field adjacent, at best,” Bogum corrected. “Come on, we’re gonna miss the train.”
Seokjin had gone back the next day to drop off his resumé and apply for the position, something he chose to keep from his cohorts. He needed the money and the place seemed fine to him; they were looking for part time help and willing to work around his class schedule. After a few interviews he was officially hired on and issued a few sets of scrubs, a fancy lab coat and an official name badge. That was three years ago, and two of those years have been since he dropped out of school and became a full time employee at the clinic.
As he never completed any major milestones in his program he doesn’t have qualifications to do much outside of what he was hired on to do in the first place, which is work the front desk. It’s a lot of filing and charting and labeling, but he likes it more than he thought he would. Though it’s no doctor’s salary he does well enough to get by comfortably, which he finds is all he really needs anyway.
Seokjin’s days aren’t normally overly mentally stimulating but he doesn’t really mind that either, as he’s given autonomy to go about his tasks as he likes as long as they’re completed, and he has no supervisor hovering over him. This also means he has free time throughout his day to read a bit or play mobile games, or scroll endlessly through social media if he feels like it. His supervisor gives him a long leash, partially because she insists there’s something about him that puts people at ease, which makes everyone’s job far easier.
Seokjin can’t blame their clientele for being anxious about the clinic, sometimes they’re even a little shy. If someone knew for a fact he was jerking off 10 meters from where they sat he’d feel the same way surely, so he does his best to remain professional but warm, friendly but knowledgeable. It’s a tough balance to strike sometimes but after this many years, he’s got it nailed down.
There are certainly regular donors he sees at least every few months, looking to get a little extra cash. They’re different from the patients who are referred for medical reasons, as most of the time the donors are perfectly nonchalant about the whole thing. He can hand them their form and a cup and cut them a check in under 10 minutes.
It’s been a relatively quiet day which isn’t unusual for a Friday - a lot of people get paid on Fridays so the need for extra funds to go out on the weekend isn’t as dire and he’s seen very few regular donors today. Currently the only patients in the building are one man in Suite 3 and his wife in the waiting room, her arms crossed over her chest, one leg over the other knee and bouncing in agitation. Seokjin had pretended not to hear when she had offered to go in the room with her husband to help and he had flat out refused. Seokjin had pointedly looked the other way to avoid the pained expression on her face when the man walked away from her.
Seokjin spins in his rolling chair and grabs a bottle of water from the mini fridge behind him, rounding his desk and crossing to the woman’s chair tucked away in the corner of the space. She startles at his sudden appearance, her smile a forced, thin line but she accepts the water bottle when he holds it out to her.
“Don’t take it personally,” he says after a second and her eyes dart up to look at him in surprise.
“How can I not?” she asks through gritted teeth after a second, that same smile pasted on.
“It’s pretty common, there’s a sense of… embarrassment. Sometimes failure,” Seokjin tries to explain and her expression gets moderately less icy.
“It’s common?” she repeats and Seokjin nods in affirmation. “Thank you. We’ve just been… stressed.”
“Understandably,” Seokjin empathizes. He read the intake form, he knows they’re trying for a baby and it’s far from the first time he’s seen a couple in this situation. “Can I get you anything else?”
“No, I- thank you,” she says again, glancing down the hall toward the door her husband disappeared through before uncapping her water.
“Sorry it’s not something a little stronger,” Seokjin jokes and she laughs, a flood of relief and her expression has thawed from agitated to anticipatory. Seokjin smiles in return, retreating to his seat behind the desk, feeling that little glimmer of happiness he always does when he’s able to help.
There are no other scheduled appointments on the books for the rest of the day and not long until closing time, so he starts some of his end of day tasks, fairly certain the couple in the clinic now will be his last patients of the day. Not long after the husband finally emerges, bashfully setting the opaque specimen cup on Seokjin’s desk as if he doesn’t spend the majority of his day handling samples of jizz. Seokjin prints a label to identify who the contents came from and affixes it to the cup, ready to store until it’s time for analysis.
“We’ll call you once we have the results,” Seokjin assures them both and the wife links her arm through her husbands as they disappear though the door.
It’s 15 minutes until the clinic closes for the evening when the door opens again, the bell mounted to the ceiling in its path jingling to get his attention. Seokjin stands from where he’d been stooping and filing records, stretching his back before glancing over to see a wide-eyed young man hesitating at the threshold before finally stepping inside. The young man cautiously takes in the waiting room, scanning as if he were trying to detect enemy assassins or something, and when his eyes finally fall on Seokjin and he startles like he didn’t expect to see someone working there.
“Can I help you?” Seokjin asks, friendly and professional as always regardless of his mild irritation at having someone show up this close to the end of his day. Especially someone he doesn’t recognize because that means paperwork, the full first visit, new patient form plus scanning documents and verifying medical history. He’s gotten really good at masking his displeasure at late arrivals, sure he’ll have time to work on his nightly checklist while this guy rubs one out down the hall.
“I-” the man starts, voice breaking slightly as he shuffles approximately 1 meter closer to the desk. It’s kind of endearing really; Seokjin deals with the first-time jitters often enough so he’s fully prepared to work his magic and try to put this new patient at ease. “Is this…”
When the guy trails off and shows no sign that he’s going to finish his sentence, Seokjin swoops in to rescue him. “Do you have an appointment?” he asks even though he knows full well there aren’t any others scheduled for the day, even going so far as to glance at the appointment calendar to make it extra believable. The man shakes his head but offers no further information so Seokjin lobs another slow pitch right over the plate for him. “Here to donate?”
“Um, yeah,” the man confirms uneasily, glancing around again. Seokjin does the guy the favor of pretending not to notice how spooked he looks, gathering up the new patient and intake paperwork and snapping it to a clipboard, a pen dangling from a string looped through the binding. Considering they pay people money just to aim when they masturbate, they have a definite ballpoint theft problem.
“If you could fill these out to the best of your ability,” Seokjin requests, holding the forms toward the man who only gets as close as is necessary to stretch out and take the clipboard. He hurries to a chair in the farthest corner of the room, even farther away than the wife had been previously, a seat that’s partially obscured by the large leaves of a potted plant. As long as he completes the paperwork in a timely fashion Seokjin doesn’t care where he sits so he resumes his filing.
The clipboard clacking against the Formica of the tall desk alerts Seokjin to the man’s return and he stands, noticing the clipboard is flipped upside down as if Seokjin’s not going to see what’s written on the forms when he reviews them for completeness anyway. When he turns it over the man winces.
“If I could see your ID please,” Seokjin asks, a protocol which seems to have the guy - Jeon Jungkook, according to his messy scrawl across the top of the first page - nearly fleeing for the door. After a moment he plucks up enough courage to fish the card from his wallet, gingerly handing it over so Seokjin can scan it into the system while he reviews the necessary portions of the forms.
“No known medical issues?”
“No.”
“Family history looks good, do you have the results from your recent screening?”
“Screening?”
Seokjin looks up from the paperwork and meets Jungkook’s overwhelmed stare. “For sexually transmitted diseases. We’ll test the specimen of course before it can be chosen for insemination, but if you have results-”
“I don’t,” Jungkook cuts in.
Seokjin watches Jungkook tongue nervously at the two silver hoops piercing his lower lip. “Your doctor’s office can provide a copy if you consent to releasing them-”
“I’ve never been screened,” Jungkook interjects quietly.
This isn’t unusual either, though Seokjin thinks for someone Jungkook’s age it is a bit odd. A few years ago, some of the donors at the top of the accepted age range hadn’t been tested, not something as common for their generation. But younger people typically get screened at least once a year.
“That’s not a problem, it’s not required in advance. As I said, we’ll test the specimen before use to ensure everything is clear. I would strongly encourage you to get a screening at your next health check-up though, for your own-”
Jungkook interrupts again. “I’m not with anyone.”
“I see here that you marked that you’re not currently sexually active, however routine screenings are advised even if you’re not regularly or currently-” Seokjin begins to explain, just to be cut off for the fourth time.
“I never have been,” Jungkook blurts. “With anyone,” he adds, as if it wasn’t clear, as if the radiant pink of his cheeks wasn’t enough to make his implication obvious.
This isn’t groundbreaking either, Seokjin’s worked with several patients who weren’t yet sexually active with a partner, and considering the nature of the clinic it’s far from a requirement. “Ah, my apologies for misunderstanding,” Seokjin offers, intentionally taking the blame on himself to lessen Jungkook’s clear embarrassment. “Well, everything here seems to be in order and you qualify as a candidate for our program so if you’ll follow me I’ll show you to the suite.”
Jungkook nods in silence, eyes dinner-plate wide as he watches Seokjin emerge from behind his desk, trudging along after him to the only room that hasn’t been closed for the night, which happens to be the one closest to his desk. It’s the coziest room anyway in his opinion, lacking some of the sterility of the other suites with its deep chocolate furnishings and rich paint, a relaxing chair behind the desk, and a couch that’s as comfortable as one can be that’s made out of stain resistant vinyl.
Seokjin holds the door open so Jungkook can pass through, lingering in the doorway while his newest patient scans his surroundings, waiting for him to turn back around. They always do, first timers, desperate for instruction on something they’ve probably been doing on their own for several years without needing any guidance. The number of donors who fear they’ll “do something wrong” is staggering so Seokjin’s happy to provide support in reminding them how to jerk off.
“There’s lubricant on the desk, along with several options of visual stimulation on the shelves,” he starts, gesturing much like a flight attendant to familiarize Jungkook with the space. “You’re of course welcome to use your phone, the wifi network is listed here,” Seokjin instructs, tapping a laminated sign on the wall next to the doorway. “Please use this cup for collection, you can bring it to me at the front desk when you’re done.”
Jungkook looks terrified, eyes unfocused as he looks from the shelf stocked with a vast array of erotica to the cup still in its sanitary plastic wrapper in Seokjin’s hand. When he makes no move to take the cup Seokjin clears his throat and sets it gently on the desk.
“If you need anything else-”
“No I’m-” Jungkook starts, words rushed, and he takes a steadying breath. “I’m set.”
“You know where to find me,” Seokjin reminds him as he turns away but he pivots quickly before he leaves. “Oh, if you need tissues, they’re next to the lubricant.”
Jungkook’s face is tomato red by the time Seokjin closes him into the room, heading back to his desk. He hums along to the lyric-less elevator-style music that pipes through the speakers in the waiting room and restarts his closing duties. It takes him about 20 minutes to finish up and all he has left to do is clean the suite Jungkook is in, so he settles back in his chair and opens Instagram. When 6:30 rolls around and Jungkook still hasn’t emerged it’s impossible for him not to get a little huffy at being made to wait well-past closing time. He doesn’t want to rush the guy but he’s going to miss his usual train at this rate, which will delay how soon he can get home, change into his pajamas, order take-away and get back to the PC game he’s been obsessively playing.
His work ethic and impatience battle within him and he waits 10 more minutes before he scrambles out of his chair in agitation, marching down the hall and standing outside the suite door while debating what to do. Seokjin takes a calming breath, adjusts his expression and knocks gently on the door.
“Don’t come in!” Jungkook exclaims, vague sounds of commotion accompanying the panicked request.
“Jungkook-ssi,” Seokjin begins, using his most professional tone, “I just want to check and make sure everything’s okay.”
“Um, yes?” Jungkook replies though he doesn’t sound entirely convinced of that.
Seokjin grits his teeth and sighs heavily through his nose, knowing Jungkook won’t be able to hear his aggravation. “That’s wonderful to hear. It’s been over 30 minutes so I just wanted to check in.”
“Sorry,” Jungkook mumbles, shame evident in his words and Seokjin resets, knowing his pajamas will still be there and that the fried chicken place is open late.
“Not a problem, take your time,” he assures Jungkook, slowly backing down the hall toward his desk again to wait.
Seokjin’s already missed his train when the door opens 15 minutes later and Jungkook appears looking flushed and sweaty. However when he places the cup on the desk it’s completely empty. “Sorry, I-”
Seokjin holds up a hand to stop him. “No need, it happens more often than you might think,” he assures him, continuing when Jungkook looks skeptical. “It’s something we do all the time but the circumstances here are anything but familiar, though we do try to make them comfortable. Unfortunately I can’t pay you-”
“Of course,” Jungkook acknowledges, looking anywhere but the empty vessel as if it were a manifestation of his shortcomings and shame.
“We do appreciate you wanting to make a donation. I have your information on file, so if you’d like to come back the process should be less tedious unless your medical details change,” Seokjin explains.
Jungkook looks utterly surprised, muttering, “I can come back?”
Seokjin can’t stop an amused chuckle. “Did you think we were going to blacklist you?” he jokes and Jungkook shrugs. “Someone with your clean medical history, body type, looks… I don’t think we’d pass up on that.”
“What do you mean?” Jungkook asks softly, peering at Seokjin through long lashes.
He needs reassurance, Seokjin knows this, he’s done this dance so many times it’s muscle memory now but he’s completely honest when he elaborates. “You have a lot of qualities people look for when making a selection.”
“Oh,” Jungkook murmurs, almost like he forgot that’s what his charitable donation was for.
“Sorry, I know some people aren’t interested in that piece of it, the extra cash is a great incentive too,” Seokjin amends, fully aware a few of the regular donors don’t like to be reminded that they are essentially signing up to help someone conceive.
“Right,” Jungkook agrees but it’s far off, distracted. Seokjin has to shake him from his thoughts and get him out the door or he’s going to miss the late train, too.
“Have a good night, Jungkook-ssi. As I said, you can return any time,” he says which seems to be enough. Jungkook offers a small smile and polite bow before shuffling out the front door and Seokjin waits a few seconds before he locks up, not wanting to seem unwelcoming.
At least since Jungkook didn’t successfully finish, clean up of the suite should be minimal. In fact things look fairly pristine when Seokjin enters the room and starts to tidy up. He wipes down furniture that probably wasn’t touched, ensuring the tissues are stocked and the lube is swapped out for a fresh packet for tomorrow. On the desk there’s one magazine, something Jungkook must have selected when making his attempt, and Seokjin grabs it to put it back on the shelf but does a double take when he sees the cover.
Two men, one tucked behind the other, hands possessively on his waist and lips poised on his neck. It’s tame compared to some of the fetish material they have, the men are shirtless but for porn it’s pretty tasteful. So Jungkook is into soft-core, gay porn, which is totally fine. Seokjin finds himself perching on the desk, flipping through the pages, wondering which one of the spreads might have caught Jungkook’s eye. Not that it matters, because Jungkook is a client and it’s none of Seokjin’s business. He shouldn’t be contemplating a donor’s proclivities.
Except he keeps thinking about it the entire time he’s closing the clinic, and during the train ride home, and in the shower. He puts on his pajamas and eats his take-away, he plays his game but can’t seem to focus well on any of it, his avatar continuously perishing when his thoughts drift back to Jungkook and the magazine he chose.
~
Enough time passes that Seokjin’s thoroughly convinced he won’t see Jungkook again, which is kind of a shame - for his patients, obviously, who’ll be missing out on the genetic lottery when they pick a donor and Jungkook’s not an option for them. Not that it matters to Seokjin; losing a good candidate for donation is always a bit disappointing, though he does have to admit usually he doesn’t think about it this much. Considering it’s been three weeks, it’s a little odd that Jungkook’s still taking up space in his head at all, and he should probably nip that in the bud.
Almost as if he could sense Seokjin was planning on forgetting about him, Jungkook appears like he’s been summoned outside the tinted door of the clinic as Seokjin’s mopping the waiting room. Most of the chairs have been flipped upside down and he’s nearly done with the floors with only a half an hour until closing time. Considering Seokjin typically gets annoyed when people drop in this late, it’s weird that the irritation is suspiciously absent as he watches Jungkook take a few steps toward the door then nervously retreat before finally shuffling closer, only to back away again.
Seokjin makes the decision for him and pulls the door open, startling Jungkook so much that he staggers back a few paces, eyes wide as he glances from Seokjin’s face to the mop in his hand. “Are you- if you’re closed that’s fine. I can come back later. Or not at all, if that’s-”
“We’re open,” Seokjin corrects eagerly, holding the glass door open fully as if to make sure the invitation is clear. Jungkook seems to gather all of his courage before crossing the threshold, wincing when his boots squeak on the wet linoleum.
“Sorry, I-”
“How can I help you today?” Seokjin asks, halting the unnecessary apology. He wants to be welcoming, polite and professional as always, waiting for Jungkook’s answer as he rolls the mop and bucket back to the supply closet before settling behind his desk.
“Are you sure, because it looks like you’re about to close,” Jungkook points out and Seokjin’s not sure if Jungkook’s just being really considerate or if he’s looking for an excuse to bolt.
“I’m pretty sure, I’ve worked here for years and the hours have never changed,” Seokjin explains, trying to inject a little levity into the situation because Jungkook looks awfully sweaty and anxious.
“I’d like to try again,” Jungkook manages tentatively like he’s still worried he’ll be turned away due to the failure to launch last time.
Seokjin was really hoping Jungkook would be back, not just because he’s perfect as far as donors go, but having a Win, even if it’s this, can be detrimental to someone’s confidence. Especially someone like Jungkook who hasn’t been with anyone yet, if that’s something he might pursue down the road.
“Of course!” Seokjin says, getting the intake form on a clipboard and passing it across the desk. “This is just our standard paperwork for the visit, nowhere near as intense as the initial forms. If you could fill it out, I’ll make sure the room is ready.”
Jungkook nods, obediently taking the clipboard to one of the chairs that’s still upright in the waiting room while Seokjin ducks into the first suite to ensure everything is in order. Lube, check. Tissues, check. Porn, check. He does go over to the shelf of materials to make sure there’s at least a few things that Jungkook might like. Not that he knows of course, but considering what he selected last time, Seokjin’s made an assumption or two.
Jungkook’s at the desk when Seokjin emerges, handing over the form that Seokjin quickly scans and then sets aside, grabbing a sterile specimen cup and smiling when he looks up. “Same room as last time, do you want me to walk you back?”
“Ah, that’s not- you don’t have to,” Jungkook stammers.
“I’ll be here when you’re done,” Seokjin assures him, handing him the plastic-wrapped cup. Jungkook turns to go to the suite but stops, pivoting back to Seokjin. He opens his mouth like he’s going to say something so Seokjin waits but then Jungkook gives a little shake of his head and hurries out of sight.
Once again, Jungkook’s in the room for quite a while which is a bit disappointing but fine - it’s not past closing time yet so that’s not a problem. The problem is the way Seokjin’s thoughts seem to circle around to it, to the fact that there’s a donor not far away… doing what donors do. He usually doesn’t spare a second thought for what the reality of his job is; an accomplice to jerking off, a masturbation support specialist. When it’s medically ordered, he’s able to categorize the act as a procedure, a test, something clinical. But when it’s donors, that definition loses relevance quickly. Not that they’re doing anything wrong, he certainly doesn’t think that - being able to help start or grow a family is a generous gift, and even if the motivation is supplemental income Seokjin doesn’t have an issue. If he didn’t work here, it’s very possible he’d be doing the same. All that considered, he’s not sure why his thoughts keep drifting down the hall to Suite 1.
He doesn’t really need to sanitize Suite 3 right this second but something is tugging him that direction, luring him closer to where Jungkook is. The door that separates them is still securely shut when he passes, and he’s nearly to Suite 3 - admittedly dragging his feet but resigned to get back to work - when a loud sigh has him stopping in his tracks.
Usually the soundproofing prevents him from hearing anything at all, but this definitely doesn’t sound like a sigh of satisfaction, more like frustration. Part of him feels compelled to intervene, offer some kind of comfort or encouragement and his fist is poised to knock just like he did last time. He wonders though if his hovering (even if not actually detected) is putting pressure on Jungkook so instead he continues on his way to Suite 3.
When he comes back from cleaning up the door to Suite 1 is open and the room is empty, and he finds Jungkook leaning against his desk looking perturbed. Seokjin tries to surreptitiously glance at the specimen cup on the counter that’s been removed from the plastic but still looks empty.
“Anything I can do to help?” Seokjin asks, not sure what else to say but his choice of words makes Jungkook’s eyes go wide. “I mean get you anything, like some water or a different variety of visual aids?” Seokjin clarifies.
“Ah, no. I think I’m just… giving up,” Jungkook says with a weak laugh, prodding the cup to move it farther away as if it’s personally responsible and maybe in a way, it is. Seokjin has no idea if Jungkook’s experiencing any issues regularly in that department, he didn’t indicate anything on the forms, so perhaps it’s just performance anxiety. Not that he’s really performing for anyone, but as he’s told several patients, this is a common malady of a first timer.
“Putting pressure on yourself could, ah, be contributing to…” Seokjin trails off, instead nodding at the plastic cup on the desk, a gesture that still turns Jungkook’s cheeks crimson. “Anyway, if you decide you want to try again, you most certainly can. And if you don’t, that’s also okay.”
“Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me to end my genetic lineage,” Jungkook says with a forced chuckle.
Seokjin smiles kindly, giving a small shake of his head. “I highly doubt it, and like I said before, you have many sought after qualities.” Jungkook makes a disgruntled face like he doesn’t understand or agree so Seokjin continues, “Athletic build, decent academic scores, diverse interests and skills, good looks…”
“Good looks?” Jungkook repeats, bashfully chewing his bottom lip. Of all the attributes Seokjin just listed it’s interesting that compliments to his physical appearance are the ones he needs to hear the most. Seokjin knows attraction is subjective but, in his opinion, this guy is very handsome. After reviewing the intake forms and getting a vague sense of the kind of person Jungkook is, then combining them with what he looks like - broad chest, slender waist, thick thighs, sharp jaw, adorable nose… it’s unreasonable for him not to think that.
“If you decide to come back, and I hope you do, just remember next time to try to relax,” Seokjin advises, lowering his voice even though they’re alone. “I mean, it’s jerking off, and usually that’s pretty fun.”
Jungkook’s startled giggle is just one more thing Seokjin catalogs about him that’s desirable - to the clientele, of course. “Thank you for being patient,” he says.
Seokjin shrugs easily. “It’s what I’m here for.”
Jungkook gives an awkward wave and walks backwards toward the door, pushing it open with a bump of his hips before slipping outside and Seokjin smiles to himself, enjoying the pleasantly warm feeling he gets when he’s able to dispel tension and put someone at ease. After a few moments he gets up from his desk to sanitize the suite Jungkook had been in, though again it seems a bit unnecessary.
It’s impossible for him not to take stock of what’s changed in the room since he was last inside; the lubricant has been moved from the desk to the small table in the seating area but is still sealed and there’s a magazine next to it, but otherwise the room looks undisturbed. Seokjin notes that the magazine definitely has men on the cover, just like the last one. He shouldn’t jump to conclusions about what that might mean about Jungkook’s orientation and it doesn’t matter in the slightest because it’s not like just because Jungkook might be interested in men, it means he’d be interested in Seokjin. It’s unimportant because he has no reason to want Jungkook to be interested and even if he were, it would probably be some kind of code of conduct violation for Seokjin to date a patient from the clinic, though he’s not exactly sure because he’s never really had to look into it before as he’s never been overly attracted to anyone who he’s met through work before.
It’s not like he’s not going to pursue Jungkook so it’s truly a moot point. After two failed attempts, the return rate of a new donor drops to nearly zero anyway, so he probably won’t see Jungkook ever again. Though if he did happen to bump into him on the street or something, and he was no longer a patient, Seokjin could in theory ask him out, but the odds of that happening are even slimmer than Jungkook walking through the clinic doors again.
~
When Jungkook walks through the doors of the clinic midday on a Monday, Seokjin’s stomach attains terminal velocity, overly buoyant upon seeing him again and then plummeting at the reality of their continued professional relationship. Not that he thought the odds of actually spontaneously running into Jungkook in the wild were in his favor, but his desire to remain gainfully employed fully prevents him from entertaining the notion of them going out for dinner and drinks or whatever.
There’s a lot more activity in the clinic at the beginning of the week and the waiting room is even more populated than usual, all but one of the suites full or in need of cleaning before Seokjin can usher more patients back. He’s in the process of checking in an appointment when he spots Jungkook lingering near the doorway and it takes a great amount of effort for him to stay focused on the man at his desk and not the cute one pretending to casually investigate the potted ficus by the water cooler. Seokjin leads the man at the desk down the hall to the last available suite, going through his usual spiel of where things are and what to do once he’s done collecting his sample, though maybe more rushed than usual as he’s asked to repeat some of the instructions. Once the guy is secured behind the door Seokjin hustles back toward the waiting room and finds Jungkook leaning on his desk, watching the bloated office gold fish swim lopsided laps in its hexagonal aquarium.
“Busy today,” Jungkook comments as Seokjin resumes his post behind the desk. There’s something different about him, he seems way more at ease than his prior visits, so much so that Seokjin wonders if he got laid since then or something. He dismisses the ephemeral jealousy that bubbles up, not only because he has no reason to think that but it’s not like he can ask. The intake form only asks, How long since your last ejaculation? and not How long since your last ejaculation and were you alone or were you with someone else which is totally cool if you were I just need to know for medical reasons probably
“Yeah, Mondays tend to be the most chaotic,” Seokjin confirms with a laugh which isn’t completely genuine but he hopes it reads as him being busy and not him letting a baseless assumption snowball. He grabs one of the specimen cups, the plastic of its sterile wrapper crinkling, holding it up. “Did you want to…?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook confirms almost eagerly and Seokjin’s theoretical jealousy compounds with a zing of arousal at the notion that Jungkook is excited to get off. It’s a ridiculous thing to be excited about because it has absolutely nothing to do with him and probably isn’t even the case. Jungkook’s eyes catch his when Seokjin hands him the cup and clipboard, tattooed fingers of his right hand dragging lightly over Seokjin’s knuckles. It’s not a noteworthy touch by a long shot but it still makes Seokjin’s skin tingle.
“Let me just get a room ready, I’ll be right back,” Seokjin excuses himself, disappearing down the hall to try to get a grip. There are patients and donors who have been waiting longer but he feels it would be detrimental to Jungkook’s confidence to make him wait so he makes the executive decision to bump him ahead in line. It’s not favoritism, he tells himself, he’s just making the best clinical choice for the situation, he’s not in some weird hurry to facilitate Jungkook rubbing one out.
The suite at the end of the hall is the only one open and Seokjin finds the routine sanitation grounding, finds setting the room up like he would for any patient helps him steady himself. It reminds him he has a job to do, that this is work and not any kind of pleasure, helps him draw that line which he clearly so desperately needs right now. He finishes up and takes a few steps back toward the waiting room before pivoting back into the suite. While he knows there’s usually a diverse selection of material in every room he’d hate to lock Jungkook in here with nothing but heterosexual pornography if he’s not attracted to women, that’s not going to do him any favors in completing the task at hand. Once Seokjin’s ensured there’s at least a few things he thinks will be to Jungkook’s liking he takes a deep breath and heads back to the waiting room.
“Okay, right this way Jungkook-ssi,” Seokjin says, getting his attention from where he’s nose to nose with the goldfish. Jungkook quickly catches up as Seokjin leads him down the hall to his suite. “Do you need me to go over anything?” Seokjin asks and Jungkook shakes his head, glancing around to get his bearings. “You know where I’ll be if you need anything.”
Seokjin slumps in his chair once he’s back behind his desk, unauthorized thoughts wandering back down the hall even amidst the chaos of the waiting room. He’s on auto-pilot as he takes a cup from another donor and cuts the check, hoping he can shake himself from this dazed, horny state by cleaning the vacated suite but before he can get there, Jungkook appears at his desk again.
It’s only been minutes, not that Seokjin was counting them but he happened to glance at the clock earlier and only a few have elapsed. Maybe instead of staying in the suite and tormenting himself Jungkook recognized it was a lost cause right away this time and decided to show himself some mercy. He doesn’t look distraught like he had the last few times which is better, accepting that it’s just not in the cards for him to-
Seokjin is startled from his internal narrative when Jungkook sets the specimen cup down in front of him and it’s definitely not empty. In fact it’s oddly full, and upon examination of the man standing across from him he notes that Jungkook is flushed, hair damp at his temples like he just completed a very vigorous activity.
“Ah, congratulations,” Seokjin stumbles out, looking back down at the clear plastic that conceals nothing. It’s a blatant confirmation that just moments ago, Jungkook was touching himself, was getting off just down the hall. It’s utterly ridiculous how overheated Seokjin feels as he lets that reality sink in and he hopes he’s not as flushed as he feels.
Jungkook’s blush deepens and he ducks his head to conceal a shy smile. “Yeah I took your advice, I just tried to relax.”
“That’s great!” Seokjin responds genuinely, pleased that his suggestion was helpful. “Deep breathing and grounding can do wonders-”
“I took the edge off before I came over,” Jungkook explains, mercifully cutting through Seokjin’s babbling.
“Took the edge off?” Seokjin repeats, not entirely sure what he means but before he can get details another patient queues up behind Jungkook. “Let me just label this and get it in storage, and I’ll print your check.”
Seokjin discreetly takes the clipboard with the intake form clamped to it along with him as he slips into the back office to properly store the specimen, ramming his leg into a filing cabinet when he sees: How long since your last ejaculation? 25 minutes
He swallows down a myriad of expletives, bending to rub his throbbing shin while peeling the label from the printer and adhering it to the rather full cup. 25 minutes, just the amount of time it must have taken for Jungkook to get here from wherever he’d been, his house or someone else’s house. A half an hour after taking the edge off he was able to…
Seokjin takes advantage of the fact that he’s behind closed doors to try to get his shit together, doing his own deep breathing and grounding while the check prints. He needs to avoid letting his imagination run wild so he can exude an air of professionalism when he reemerges. Once he’s sure he can behave like a normal person he steps through the door with a pleasant smile in place and slides the check across the counter to Jungkook who still seems uncharacteristically at ease, though nutting twice in an hour would probably make anyone extremely docile.
“Thank you for the donation. Once the specimen has been cleared, we’ll add you to our donor database,” Seokjin explains, hoping his smile doesn’t look completely delirious at this point.
“When can I come back?” Jungkook asks, seemingly uninterested in that portion of the process. He skims the check before folding it and sliding it into his pocket.
“The limit is twice a week,” Seokjin tells him.
“Oh, that’s all?” Jungkook confirms, pouting slightly. Maybe he needs the money more than he lets on.
“There are regulations unfortunately, but that doesn’t stop you from, ah, taking care of anything at home,” Seokjin reminds him, clearing his throat before adding, “Or if you’re seeing someone-”
“I’m not, I mentioned that the first time I came in,” Jungkook interjects and Seokjin bites the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from cheering with relief.
It was a cheap ploy, fishing for information that isn’t necessary for his job and isn’t any of his business, but he’s happy to hear Jungkook is still single. “That’s right,” Seokjin replies as if he’d forgotten. “I’m often asked if it’s bad to ejaculate between donations, there’s a concern that it might lower sperm count or impact virility but it’s actually good to do so routinely.”
“Routinely?” Jungkook parrots curiously, definitely not making eye contact anymore as he scoots a paperclip across the desktop with his index finger.
“Whatever is normal for you,” Seokjin explains and Jungkook’s tongue pokes at his lip rings.
“Could someone do it… too much?” he asks in a whisper, staring into the space between them and Seokjin’s grip on the edge of his desk tightens, pulse picking up.
“It’s different for everyone, so just do what feels right,” Seokjin advises but when it doesn’t seem to provide the reassurance Jungkook needs, he adds, “There’s no such thing as too much.”
Jungkook nods, glancing up briefly but it’s long enough for Seokjin to notice the look of relief and his small smile. “Got it, thank you,” Jungkook says with a small bow, hesitating for a second before turning to leave the clinic.
Seokjin does his best to help the other patient at the desk before being able to retreat down the hall, glad he has rooms that need to be sanitized because he’s off kilter in a way he’s not accustomed to over something that isn’t out of the ordinary or even remotely significant in his line of work. He’s probably had this exact conversation before on more than one occasion; granted, he has been painfully single and begrudgingly celibate for an unfortunately long stretch of time, which he’s fully ready to attribute his vaguely feral inclinations toward Jungkook to.
Not that Jungkook isn’t unreasonably attractive and simultaneously very cute, but Seokjin’s never caught himself slipping like this on the job.
He avoids Jungkook’s suite at first, not quite ready for what he might find there (most likely nothing unusual) and how it might impact him (way more than he thinks is reasonable). Seokjin even goes so far as to do a sweep of the waiting room and some non-urgent record keeping before finally tackling Jungkook’s suite.
When he can’t put it off any longer he drags his feet the entire length of the hall, nudging the door of Jungkook’s suite open with his foot before sliding inside as if it’s a crime scene he’s trying not to contaminate. As he expected, the mundanity of what he finds could be evidence of any patient, nothing eye catching or noteworthy really. The tissue box is on the couch and the lube packet is open and on the short table in front of it next to a magazine. When Seokjin realizes the magazine is open his heartbeat kicks up a notch and he rolls his eyes at himself, even though he still sneaks up on it like it’s about to detonate.
Maybe he shouldn’t look, he’ll just flip it closed it and whatever it was that had Jungkook out of the room in under five minutes with an impressively filled cup will remain a secret and won’t be able to inflict any more damage to Seokjin’s fragile, lust-addled brain.
But he doesn’t do that.
Seokjin very stupidly takes a seat on the couch, potentially in the exact spot Jungkook sat when he was here an hour ago, and picks the magazine up to get a better look. It’s flipped to a page that only has one person featured, a man who isn’t even naked but dressed in a soft pink camisole, the matching panties with bows at the hips struggling to mask his arousal.
Seokjin might question how someone could get off under these (albeit well-masked) clinical conditions from something so tame, but he knows all too well that this could be enough if it piques the interest, if it activates that part of the brain where so-called deviant desires hide. He’s fully aware of his browser history and how many of the sites trace back to something similar, how the juxtaposition of delicate lace and ribbons against strong thighs kindle something inside him. He’s never told a single soul - not his best friend, not a past lover, not even the vast anonymity of the internet about this particular guilty pleasure.
It’s too easy for him to picture how Jungkook might look in something like this, where the material might cling to his skin, how he’d be hidden but not enough, hints laid out just for him, something waiting to be discovered.
He quickly shuts the magazine, hurrying to put it back on the shelf because it’s incriminating for too many reasons, and he goes about his cleaning as if he’s not experiencing a horrendously horny crisis. By the time he’s done in Jungkook’s suite it’s nearly closing time and he flips off the lights, forcing himself out the door but he instantly doubles back and pulls the magazine from the others so easily it’s like he has a treasure map right to it, x marks the spot. He rolls it up and shoves it into his back pocket even though there’s no one here to witness what he’s doing, then later slips it into his backpack where it rests behind his desk so he can smuggle it into his apartment later.
Most people steal pens or a stapler from their place of employment; apparently, Seokjin isn’t most people.
~
Right when Seokjin starts to regain some level of equilibrium, Jungkook waltzes through the clinic doors again and he’s instantly thrown out of orbit. It’s a Thursday evening this time with about half an hour until closing, almost as if Jungkook was waiting for things to be a bit calmer and quieter before he came in. It can’t get any more so than it is right now as no one else is in the clinic, just Jungkook and Seokjin blinking at each other across the waiting room. Seokjin is well aware why he’s behaving awkwardly; he’s inescapably familiar with the three straight days his thoughts have endlessly circled back to Jungkook and the magazine. It’s embarrassing how many times he’s flipped through it since he took it from the clinic, going to the exact page Jungkook had left it open to in the suite. The imagery has been hazily but unmistakably present in the slew of erotic dreams he’s groggily woken from, dick painfully hard.
On a rather pitiful level, he’s also been incredibly disappointed to wake up alone, not just because he’d like someone to help with his morning wood. He’s unsure when the last time was that someone stayed the night and he woke up with someone in his arms, ages since he was able to indulge in some lazy cuddles that might turn into half-awake, slow and easy sex. Not that he wants those things from Jungkook, someone he hardly knows, but the whole situation is reminding him how depressingly lonely he’s been, something he’s very keen to ignore but the reality of it has been difficult to avoid lately for some reason.
So while Seokjin clearly has a long list of reasons for acting weird right now, he’s not sure what’s going on with Jungkook. He thinks back to their last interaction and can’t pinpoint anything that might be contributing to the tension - after all, Jungkook’s here, he came back of his own volition. Unless he’s somehow psychically aware of the filthy thoughts and near-wet dreams that have plagued Seokjin since the last time they saw each other, it remains a mystery.
Seokjin manages to find his voice, remembering that he is in fact at work and that does imply he has a job to do. “Here to donate?”
This seems to be enough to shake Jungkook from his paralysis and he tucks his hands into his back pockets, making his way over to the desk in a manner that Seokjin can only describe as Forced Nonchalance. “You said twice a week, right?”
Seokjin deploys his warmest, most professional smile and digs his fingernails into his palm to keep from screaming because the closer Jungkook gets, the more unhinged he feels. “That’s correct, you’re welcome to make one more donation this week.”
“Yes please,” Jungkook rushes out in a relieved exhale as if he thought Seokjin was going to tell him no. Seokjin keeps his smile in place as he affixes the intake form to the clipboard then retrieves a sample cup from the supply bin while Jungkook starts filling out the form. Seokjin hovers, not sure what to do with himself while he waits, the silence making him stir crazy.
“If you’d like, you can always complete the intake form in the suite,” Seokjin offers and Jungkook glances up at him, something unreadable behind his eyes but Seokjin gets the distinct impression he’s hinting at something.
“I’m almost done,” Jungkook explains, turning his attention back to the sheet of paper and quickly filling in the last required boxes. “All set,” he announces, pushing the clipboard back toward Seokjin, face up this time. The confidence he must have garnered from a successful collection appears to have him soaring, considering the contrast in behavior from his initial visit to his swaggering bravado tonight. Jungkook watches Seokjin almost expectantly, brow furrowing when he’s handed the cup without Seokjin reviewing his paperwork. His eyes dart down to the form and quickly back up to Seokjin’s face but he doesn’t say anything.
“If you’ll follow me,” Seokjin instructs, rounding his desk and passing Jungkook to lead him down the hall. Every room is empty, he could take Jungkook to the last suite, the one farthest away from his desk as if proximity were the only issue. Any measures he could take could be helpful and yet he finds himself stopping at the door that’s closest to where he’ll be sitting and waiting for Jungkook to do the deed. “The first suite is open,” he says, gesturing to the room in front of them.
“Can I have that same room as last time?” Jungkook asks after a moment’s hesitation, quickly adding, “It’s just… the magazines in that one-”
Seokjin could accommodate his request and take him to his previous suite, but then Jungkook might discover that the magazine he’s expecting to find is no longer on the shelf, or in the room, or on the premises at all.
“Ah, there’s a wide variety of materials stocked in all the rooms,” Seokjin tells him, not making a move to take Jungkook anywhere else.
Jungkook opens his mouth like he’s going to argue his case but inevitably settles on, “This is okay, thank you.” He keeps his wide and oddly expectant eyes on Seokjin as he closes the door and once again Seokjin wonders if Jungkook wanted to say something but couldn’t get the words out. For one irrational second he considers knocking and going back in, asking what he’s missing, but he dismisses that notion nearly as fast as it arises.
He should go back to work anyway, he has charts to finish and file and there’s a (very slim) chance someone else will walk in. Being caught loitering outside of a patient’s room is unprofessional not to mention creepy and he’s not sure how he would explain why he’s doing it, partially because he doesn’t understand it himself. He’s going to get back to work, any second now that’s what he should do, he needs to be on his way; yet he stays right where he is on the other side of the door, eyes boring into the wood grain as if he were willing x-ray vision into existence.
This is ridiculous, he needs to get out of the hallway and attempt to regain his grip on reality and not act like such a pervert but right as he takes a step back he hears something that has him instantly huddling closer to the door, actually turning his head so he can practically press his ear to it. He’s not even sure what it was he heard, it could have been something completely boring like Jungkook clearing his throat or coughing or-
It’s unmistakable this time, despite him having to strain to hear it; a low, breathless whine, so quiet yet Seokjin’s skin prickles with heat. The little hums that come after get steadily louder only to be interrupted by a gasp which Seokjin worries for a split second might have come from him. He’s never heard a patient make noise before, not like this; it’s not a scenario where people get actually turned on despite what they’re doing. He’d categorize what happens in this clinic as more perfunctory than enjoyable, but what he can hear through the door is unequivocally the sounds of pleasure and it leaves his mouth dry and makes his pulse race. It’s as surprising as it is arousing and heat pools in Seokjin’s belly, his body very much interested in what’s going on in the first suite.
“Oh- oh fuck,” Jungkook moans and Seokjin shoves against the door so hard his ear hurts, detecting what he thinks is the squelch of lube. Maybe he’s just imagining it but it doesn’t matter because the mere possibility that’s what it is goes right to his dick. He’s overheated and his temperature climbs to incendiary with each whimper. It’s ridiculous that he’s so affected by what Jungkook’s doing because it’s exactly what he’s supposed to be doing, what Seokjin knew he would be doing, what everyone who walks through the doors inevitably does but he can’t move now. He’s enraptured by the pornographic symphony spilling out on the other side of the door and greedy to catch every last note he can. Suddenly everything’s too clear and loud, the unmistakable sound of release, shaky and desperate, Jungkook’s hitching moans slowly tapering to silence.
Seokjin’s body finally takes action, apparently the fear of Jungkook emerging and finding the guy who works the desk at the spank bank in the hall with a hard-on is humiliating enough to motivate him. He shuffles to the front of the clinic, grateful that no one else has come in, and tucks his chair in as close as he can to the desk to try to hide the straining seam of his slacks. Internally berating himself for what he just indulged in he sighs and crosses his arms on the desk, shoving the keyboard back so he can rest his head there and contemplate how many conduct rules he’s just violated and potential laws he’s broken.
Seokjin jumps when Jungkook sets the cup down on the desk and he sits up, quickly shuffling the papers in front of him in an attempt to look like he was doing anything other than having a meltdown while wielding a completely inappropriate boner.
“Everything okay?” Jungkook asks and Seokjin tries not to focus on Jungkook’s flushed cheeks and blown pupils, or the slightly elevated rise and fall of his chest because he just came moments ago 10 meters from where Seokjin is currently fighting for his life.
“Uh, yeah, just… filing,” Seokjin tries, opening the cabinet at his knee and cramming a handful of pages into it that he’s going to have to remember to sort later. Jungkook nudges the cup closer with his finger and Seokjin finally looks at it, and for the first time in his career his brain unhelpfully supplies a visual for how the contents got there. His cock jerks at the thought so he wheels forward in his chair and smashes himself against the desk to remind it who’s boss.
“Um… can I get my check?” Jungkook asks after a few seconds and Seokjin realizes he’s been staring at the specimen so he shakes his head to clear it, tearing his eyes away and forcing himself to make eye contact.
“Yes, of course,” Seokjin manages, trying to regain any semblance of composure while having to wheel to the back room in his rolling chair because he’s still hard and can’t risk standing up. Hopefully he’ll be able to pull himself together while the check prints.
Maybe he needs to get back on the hookup apps, get laid and get whatever this is out of his system so he can be normal and doesn’t lose his job. Spending the night with a random guy isn’t really his thing, hence why he deleted the apps in the first place, but for the sake of his employment he has to do something.
Thankfully his body calms down enough that he can leave his chair in the back, stepping through the door to the front desk. He’s confident that he’s now presentable, channeling his normally impeccable professionalism. “Here you are, Jungkook-ssi,” he says, passing over the check. “Thank you for your continued generosity.”
“Um, okay,” Jungkook says with a chuckle, smiling almost bashfully. “See you next week.”
Once Jungkook leaves Seokjin lets out a long breath. He’s smugly proud of himself for getting it together, whistling while he puts Jungkook’s donation in the overnight freeze before getting back to actually filing with a clear head and mostly clear conscience. He’s still got it, he can keep it together and he’s on a roll of positive affirmations until he finally goes to file Jungkook’s intake form.
How long since your last ejaculation? today 6:40am, 9:20am, 1:13pm, 5:10pm
When Seokjin gets home he doesn’t re-download the apps, he doesn’t look for a quick hookup, and isn’t proud of the fact that he jerks off in the shower and comes in record time thinking about a busy intake form and the way Jungkook sounded through the door.
~
It’s every Tuesday and Thursday now, a regular schedule, a predictable biweekly horny panic penciled into Seokjin’s routine. For the last month Seokjin has had to endure the casual way Jungkook strolls in, always toward the end of the day when there’s likely to be less people or seemingly his preference of it being just the two of them. He makes small talk and fills out his intake form at the desk, no longer shy about any of his answers which are consistently Any new sexual partners? no and How long since your last ejaculation? 30 minutes (give or take). If Seokjin was a smart person who was thinking with his brain, he’d put Jungkook in the last suite on the opposite end of the hall and crank up the music in the waiting room just to be safe, but he’s apparently an idiot who’s only thinking with his dick and doesn’t care about self-preservation or keeping his job because without fail, when he steps around the desk to lead Jungkook to one of the rooms it’s always the one closest to his desk. In fact he’s started to ensure even if there are other patients, on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons the first suite stays open and well-stocked with a variety of gay porn. He’s compelled to keep the material new as if Jungkook might get bored and move on to a new clinic, going so far as to bring in some of the more pristine issues from his own collection. Not that he’s rolling around in physical pornography, he knows how the internet works, but he does have a few things.
Jungkook always leaves whatever visual aid he perused while donating out for Seokjin to find, maybe not intentionally but it’s difficult for Seokjin to keep his twitterpated brain from connecting the dots. He takes note of whatever page the magazine is open to, what image likely tipped Jungkook over the edge. It’s not easy to find an exact pattern of what he might be into apart from the fact that it’s always on the softer side, more insinuated than deliberate, and Seokjin does his best to provide similar options on Jungkook’s next visit. It’s the oddest mating ritual any creature has ever indulged in, passive to such an extreme Jungkook probably doesn’t even know it’s happening but Seokjin has become dependent on anything he’s lucky enough to observe or overhear each time.
On this particular Thursday when Jungkook enters the clinic there are no other patients, just the two of them. Once Jungkook’s finished the intake form he asks, “The usual room?”
“Oh! Ah…” Seokjin starts, foolishly surprised that Jungkook had noticed. “If that’s okay? Of course if you want a change of scenery-”
“No no, that one’s… it’s good, it always has, um… the right visual aids,” Jungkook cuts in, and for the first time in weeks his cheeks tint a pretty pink.
“We try to ensure we have the preferred materials for our donors,” Seokjin replies, wanting to cruise past the topic of conversation as he rounds his desk to lead Jungkook to the suite as if he doesn’t know exactly where he’s going by now.
“And you know what those are? For the different donors?” Jungkook asks and Seokjin swallows a panicked scream.
“Sometimes,” he answers vaguely, standing in the doorway for the first suite and gesturing for Jungkook to enter.
“I must be really lucky then because there always seem to be preferred materials for me,” Jungkook says and it could be passed off as a joke but he’s not laughing, his wide eyes fixed on Seokjin as he nervously tongues his lip rings.
“We don’t have a lot of what you seem to respond well to, I try to keep it all in one place,” Seokjin admits, instantly regretting it but Jungkook relaxes a little.
“You noticed?” he asks shyly, gaze flickering up to catch Seokjin’s before he looks away again, misplaced innocence in the question as if he hasn’t been leaving Seokjin a trail of breadcrumbs twice a week. Seokjin can’t seem to find the words to answer so he nods, recognizing just how thin the ice he’s skating on is. “Well, thank you for not… judging me, or whatever.”
The comment twists Seokjin’s stomach a little, the anxiety that he’s given off any sort of vibe that would lead Jungkook to think he would. “I get it,” he manages, trying desperately to simultaneously ease Jungkook’s mind while existing in the gray space of the patient/provider relationship. His words seem to have the opposite effect though, Jungkook’s lips a tight line as he pulls his long sleeves over his hands, balling the fabric in his fists. Seokjin should leave, not try to make anything better for fear of making it worse, but instead he says, “There’s one in the room today, that’s ah, pretty good.”
Jungkook pauses for a second like a startled animal, eyes still locked on the linoleum in front of him. “Oh, like… like-”
Seokjin clears his throat and shoots his career in the foot. “It’s actually one of mine.”
Jungkook’s head whips up so quickly Seokjin’s worried he might have hurt himself but his expression is anything but pained. “I didn’t think you’d be into-”
“What, guys?” Seokjin supplies, trying to sound glib like it’s not a big deal because it’s not, especially not if it makes Jungkook feel more comfortable.
“No um,” Jungkook starts, looking away again, “pretty guys. That-that wear lingerie and stuff.”
Seokjin’s not entirely sure what falls under the umbrella of and stuff but shrugs anyway, playing it cool even though the tips of his ears are prickling with heat. “I mean, why not?”
“I’ve just never met a guy who is. Not that I have a lot of experience to draw from. Or, you know, any,” Jungkook says, huffing out a nervous laugh.
“It’s not the only thing I like but…” Seokjin stops himself before he slides any farther down the slippery slope. “Anyway, ah, I’ll leave you to it.”
“Oh, um… yeah. I’ll see you out there,” Jungkook mumbles and Seokjin smiles politely as he closes the door, waiting a few seconds before sprinting as quietly as he can past his desk, right through the door to the back office where he opens the lid on the overnight freezer and sticks his head inside. Unfortunately it does very little to cool him down.
He’s not thinking clearly, he never can when Jungkook is in the clinic, or the hours leading up to his imminent arrival, or the night before one of his regular days, or the rest of the evening after. Now Seokjin’s severe lack of brain activity has lead to him revealing too many secrets and he wouldn’t blame Jungkook if he never came back to the clinic, or if he complained to Seokjin’s supervisor-
“Seokjin-ssi?”
How long has he had his head stuffed in the cooler, that Jungkook’s back at his desk already, just on the other side of the office door? Seokjin probably made everything too awkward for him to actually do anything, it’s surely only been a minute or two since he shut Jungkook into the suite.
He straightens up, running a hand through his hair and adjusting his badge where it’s clipped to his lab coat, trying to disguise his rising humiliation before pushing through the door and finding Jungkook looking as anxious as he feels.
“Um,” Jungkook says, setting the specimen cup down and Seokjin’s apology is on the tip of his tongue because not only did he make it awkward but Jungkook wasn’t able to collect and- “See you next week,” Jungkook rushes out, heading quickly for the door before Seokjin can speak.
Seokjin stares after him even once he’s been out of view for half a minute before he finally looks at the cup and registers the fact that it’s definitely not empty. The realization crashes into him like a bus because it only could have been two minutes tops that Jungkook was in the room, there’s no way he would be able to actually start let alone finish but the evidence is right there in front of him. He’s dazed as he goes through the motions of labeling and storing the donation, only realizing when he goes to print the check that Jungkook left without it.
~
It’s becoming a recurring fear of Seokjin’s that whatever awkward thing that’s happened between them (which seem to be a regular occurrence) recently will be the last straw. He’s at Jungkook’s whim as far as whether they see each other or not and he’s beginning to think he must be a glutton for punishment since he keeps coming back for more. The money’s good but it’s not that good.
Seokjin really shouldn’t be surprised at this point but when Jungkook enters the clinic on his usual day, at his typical right-before-closing time, he can’t repress the bafflement he experiences. Despite his lack of confidence that Jungkook would return, he’d preemptively gotten the first suite ready for him just in case.
“Hey,” Jungkook offers, and it’s meant to be casual but there’s obviously a nervousness lurking behind it that puts Seokjin even more on edge.
“Hey,” he repeats, gathering the form and the cup without asking if Jungkook’s here to donate because why else would he be here? Jungkook fills out the necessary spots and takes the cup, waiting for Seokjin to round the desk and take him to the room even though he actually ends up leading the way, stopping at the first suite. He lingers in the doorway for a few seconds before stepping inside, suddenly stopping in his tracks.
“There’s a magazine on the table,” Jungkook says and Seokjin winces, trying to school his expression before Jungkook turns back around to face him. He’d hoped he’d be able to get out of the room before Jungkook noticed and continue this bizarre back and forth, an epic game of chicken or something, but he’s been caught red handed. Jungkook’s too observant, it’s a miracle he hasn’t noticed what a number he’s doing on Seokjin.
“Yeah I ah… thought you might like that one,” Seokjin answers, exuding a level of confidence he certainly doesn’t feel, terrified the admission will totally freak Jungkook out.
“You’ve… thought about what I like?” Jungkook asks, eyes flicking up to meet Seokjin’s before skittering their way across the room to the magazine again. It’s not overly revealing with its cover shut but Seokjin’s ears scald with embarrassment just the same.
“I mean we talked about it before, making sure you have the preferred visual aids-”
“But you said I might like it,” Jungkook interrupts.
“Um, I noticed a pattern I guess, with what you’ve selected when you’ve been in before,” Seokjin tries to explain, making it sound as professionally necessary as possible even though it’s not, even though he’s never gone to lengths like this for any other patient in all the years he’s worked here.
“So you did notice,” Jungkook murmurs, continuing when Seokjin’s eyes widen. “I mean, I guess I wasn’t being that subtle. I wasn’t trying to be, anyway.”
The confession takes a few moments to sink into Seokjin’s brain, Jungkook’s shy smile is at odds with what he’s just revealed but it’s a combination of sexy sweetness that makes Seokjin’s heart race like it’s been doing for months now. He assumed what he needed was confirmation this was all in his head so he could put himself in check and stop entertaining any fantasies that involved him and Jungkook in any capacity beyond what’s existed so far. This is a shove in the other direction and despite the fact that it might not be a good idea he intends to embrace that inertia. Seokjin takes a steadying breath, swallows down his nerves, and steps farther into the room, closing the door behind him.
Jungkook’s eyes dart to the door then to Seokjin and for a split second he wonders if he misunderstood, if the bold move has made Jungkook uncomfortable. They both seem to be locked in place and the anticipation is stifling. It’s like they’re daring the other to actually make a move.
Seokjin takes the two shaky steps needed to close the space between them, ducking in to press a chaste yet firm kiss to Jungkook’s lips, wanting to make his intentions crystal clear. He’d always heard people say time stood still or the seconds stretched out in moments like these but in a flash Jungkook’s reaching out, one hand tangling in the hair at Seokjin’s nape and the other fisted in his lab coat to pull him closer, crashing them together with such force they stagger back and Jungkook’s ass hits the desk.
Jungkook kisses like a man starved, a hunger which Seokjin can appreciate and he lets himself be devoured. He runs his hands down Jungkook’s back and over the swell of his ass, lifting him enough to get him seated on the desk. It’s no easy feat, Jungkook is solid muscle, but it’s worth it for the way Jungkook moans into Seokjin’s mouth. In this position they can be chest to chest and Jungkook reels him in, encouraging him to crowd into the open vee of his thighs.
Jungkook mirrors Seokjin’s grip, fingers digging in through the thin material of Seokjin’s slacks as he tries to get him even closer, rocking his hips into the friction where they meet. He whines against Seokjin’s lips, nipping at the soft, swollen skin and sending a cascade of sparks over the network of Seokjin’s nerves. He backs up just enough to tug Jungkook’s sweatpants and underwear down under his balls, his hard cock slapping up against his t-shirt.
“Oh god,” Jungkook moans, gasping when Seokjin’s fingers wrap around him, flexing to push himself further into his grip.
“The lube,” Seokjin says, suppressing a fond giggle at the speed in which Jungkook leans over to grab the sample sized packet at the edge of the desk, nearly dropping it as he tries to pass it. “Hey, I’ve got you,” Seokjin promises, cupping Jungkook’s cheek in an effort to steady him, trailing soft kisses over Jungkook’s lips and down his throat as he twists the top off the packet and wets his palm.
“I- I haven’t-” Jungkook tries, his words still rushed even as they’re halted so Seokjin hums to quiet him.
“I know,” he tells him, one hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as the other circles his dick again and Jungkook hisses at the ease of the slide.
Jungkook’s not any quieter now than he was when he was alone, when Seokjin listened to him through the door. He’s bombarded by broken whimpers and soft cries and Jungkook tips his forehead against Seokjin’s as he touches him. Seokjin keeps his pace even and slow but Jungkook’s thighs still quake like he’s already on the brink of it. Any anxiousness Seokjin was carrying has burned off completely, replaced by a different heat simmering low in his belly, stoked by taking control and being the one to touch Jungkook this way.
“Look at you,” Seokjin murmurs and Jungkook’s eyes flash open, meeting his, unmistakably dark with arousal. “Getting worked up already, it really is your first time huh?” Seokjin continues and Jungkook’s nod is shaky. “Does it feel good, having someone else touch you?” Seokjin presses, curious but calculated, and Jungkook moans again, fingers curling against the desk like he’s trying to hold on. “Pretty boy like you deserves to be touched.”
“F-fuck, the cup, the cup, get the- I’m gonna-” Jungkook manages, words tripping on their way out as he reaches blindly for the specimen cup, struggling with the crinkly plastic wrapper only to drop it on the floor as he starts to come over Seokjin’s fist. Seokjin quickly reaches with his other hand to catch what he can, trying to be mindful of Jungkook’s clothes but admittedly only half paying attention to them, too fixated on Jungkook’s face, the sheen of sweat across his flushed cheeks and the clench of his jaw as he trembles through his orgasm.
If he sounded good through the door, and he most certainly did, hearing him without the barrier is next level, every broken inhale and soft gasp in surround sound pouring molten arousal right into Seokjin’s gut. He connects their lips again as he works Jungkook through it, swallowing down every whimper and whine greedily. He slows his movements even more when Jungkook’s wracked with aftershocks, finally stopping but keeping a hand on him to ground them both.
When Seokjin turns his head to suck in a breath he glances down at the cup on the floor, the mess in his palm and over his fingers, and what still managed to get on Jungkook’s pants and shirt despite his efforts. “You missed.”
Jungkook makes a quiet, breathless noise of dissent. “You were aiming.”
Seokjin’s chuckle sounds winded too and he can’t resist tracing his nose over Jungkook’s jawline before stepping back and looking for the tissues. He hands some to Jungkook and grabs the cup off the floor, tearing the plastic with his teeth and tucking it under his arm to loosen the lid. He gets what he can from his palm into the container then holds it up to inspect it.
“Not sure this is enough for a donation,” he jokes.
“Oh,” Jungkook responds and he sounds legitimately worried like he actually did something wrong so Seokjin quickly turns his attention back to him.
“That just means you can come back again this week, if you want,” Seokjin offers, doing his damnedest to seem casual but it’s a struggle. He can’t tell from Jungkook’s expression if he does want to, and Seokjin wonders if this will happen again or if he got what he wanted out of it.
Jungkook tries to use the wad of tissues to wipe at his messy waistband but it’s futile and he eventually just tugs his clothes back into place and pulls his shirt low to cover the wetness there. “Um… thanks for the help,” he mumbles, and it feels weird now like whatever lusty spell Jungkook was under before has dissipated.
Seokjin swallows around the lump in his throat, fighting to regain a level of demeanor. He’s impervious, he’s not worried that it was a bad first experience and he doesn’t care if Jungkook doesn’t like him anymore or never did or that he might not come back. “Sure, I’ll walk you out.”
~
Seokjin isn’t usually one to agonize over things, especially ones out of his control and generally not when they involve practical strangers. The uncomfortable feeling hovers though through the last hour of his shift after Jungkook leaves, and it lingers on the subway ride back home. It sticks around like an uninvited guest through dinner and while he’s trying to watch TV, completely overstaying its welcome as he washes up and gets ready for bed.
There’s an uncertainty to how things ended tonight and eats at him, not just that he might have blown it with a guy he’s crushing pretty hard on but also the blatant disregard he’s demonstrated for his work ethic. It makes it impossible to get a good night’s sleep and by the time he drags himself out of bed to prepare for his next shift, he’s concluded there’s about a 20% chance that Jungkook will ever come back to the clinic. It’s ridiculous where his priorities lie right now, not with his gainful employment but with a guy he wants to see again, but he can’t even manage to trick himself into believing he cares more about work than seeing Jungkook.
Seokjin slogs through his workday, trying not to mope especially when patients and donors are present. In an effort to distract himself he starts on a record clean-up project he’s been putting off for months, hoping the sheer boredom of it will be enough to numb his brain so he doesn’t think about how pathetically miserable he feels.
The door opens 5 minutes before closing time and Seokjin’s buried under a stack of manila envelopes, struggling to get off the floor behind his desk where he’d been sorting through old client records. “We’re just about to close so-”
The rest of the sentence disappears entirely when he sees Jungkook leaning over the desk and peering down at him, his cheeks burning red and his smile shy. He hovers in silence like he’s unsure if he should be there, but finally says, “You said I could come back this week.”
“I did,” Seokjin confirms, scrambling up off the floor and sending a stack of records toppling over, a problem for future Seokjin. He wobbles on unsteady knees as he stands, gathering the cup and the intake form and Jungkook tries not to smile wider, filling out the form quickly and taking the cup. He glances between the clipboard and Seokjin, tilting his head down ever so slightly when Seokjin doesn’t take the hint. Once he finally picks up on the fact Jungkook wants him to look at the intake form he picks up the clipboard to review Jungkook’s information, scanning over the details until his eyes lock onto one particular section:
How long since your last ejaculation? yesterday, 5:43pm
That was when he was at the clinic, that was when Seokjin had his hands on him, and he hasn’t gotten off since. It’s not that Seokjin necessarily assumed Jungkook would have, honestly he’d been so weighed down with anxiety he hadn’t thought about it, but knowing that he typically does so at least once a day, usually before coming in to donate, definitely seems significant.
When Seokjin doesn’t speak or move for a few seconds Jungkook shifts his weight, murmuring, “Should I go to the regular room or…”
It’s enough to snap Seokjin from his dizzying reverie, quickly stepping out from behind the desk and barely stumbling over the administrative destruction scattered everywhere. Neither of them speak as they approach Suite 1 and they stand side by side in the doorway once they’re there, Jungkook hesitant to go inside and Seokjin hesitant to leave.
“Did you need… assistance?” Seokjin asks, holding his breath as he waits for Jungkook’s answer and only slightly terrified he’ll say no, though it’s obvious instantly when his face melts into a warm grin that Seokjin had nothing to worry about.
“I mean… if it’s not too much trouble.”
It’s definitely not and Seokjin nods eagerly, closing the door to the room even though they’re alone only to have his back pressed firmly against it, his arms full of a very warm and enthusiastic Jungkook. It seems that it wasn’t a bad first time or too awkward and Seokjin buzzes with relief. He doesn’t have much of a chance to settle into it though as Jungkook rocks against him and moans.
“Let’s get to the couch,” Seokjin manages, his voice low and gruff, doing nothing to disguise how affected he is. Jungkook takes his hand and quickly pulls him that way, hovering once they’re there like he’s awaiting further instructions.
Interesting.
“Maybe we should take these off this time,” Seokjin suggests, tugging at the hem of Jungkook’s long-sleeved shirt. “Avoid the mess.” Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to obey, shirt pulled off quickly, revealing the broad expanse of his shoulders, his flat but soft belly, the definition of his pecs. A colorful mosaic of tattoos winds down his right arm and Seokjin tries to take all of it in, eyes finally meandering back up to Jungkook’s face. He stares back, top teeth rolling over his lower lip like he’s waiting for approval.
Seokjin wraps his fingers around Jungkook’s wrist to urge him closer then lets his palms trace up Jungkook’s sides, over his shoulders, down the swell of his chest, brushing his pebbled nipples.
“Oh,” Jungkook whines, almost startled by the sensation and Seokjin lifts an eyebrow before ducking down to capture one in his mouth, sucking lightly before swiping his tongue over the peaked flesh. “F-fuck.”
While Seokjin swirls the tip of his tongue there, he thumbs at the other, thinking he could spend the rest of his evening doing this and he’d be the happiest man alive. After only a few moments though Jungkook’s knees threaten to give out, his breathing harsh as he grips Seokjin’s shoulders to steady himself.
“Sorry, they’re just, um, sensitive,” he mumbles as Seokjin pulls away, almost like he’s embarrassed by it which is asinine since it’s one of the hottest things Seokjin’s ever experienced in his life.
“Nothing to apologize for,” Seokjin assures him, keeping their eyes locked as he blindly reaches for Jungkook’s fly, luckily nearly hitting the target and only having to slightly adjust. He tugs the button free then pulls the zipper down, knuckles skimming where Jungkook’s briefs are pulled tight, already straining against the material. Jungkook tries to muffle a whine and Seokjin’s fingers slip inside the denim at his hips to ease his jeans over his ass and to the floor so he can step out of them.
“These too?” Jungkook asks, thumbs in the elastic of his underwear and Seokjin smirks and nods, taking a seat on the couch while Jungkook removes the final stitch of clothing. Seokjin can tell he’s nervous standing there naked with an audience, but Jungkook clenches his fists at his sides and holds his chin up.
“Take a seat,” Seokjin offers and Jungkook moves to do so but hesitates almost instantly, eying the cushion next to Seokjin. “Everything okay?”
“It feels weird, putting my bare ass on furniture that’s not mine,” Jungkook explains and Seokjin laughs.
“Well then,” he starts, patting his lap, “how about here?” Jungkook seems to be suffering a critical error for a second but takes a clumsy step forward, though he seems unsure of how to position himself. “Like this,” Seokjin instructs gently, turning Jungkook so his back is to him and easing him down to his lap. Jungkook’s legs fall open on either side of Seokjin’s and he places his hands on Seokjin’s knees for balance, back arching in this position. “Fuck,” Seokjin murmurs.
“Am I too heavy?” Jungkook asks quickly, moving like he might get up so Seokjin grips his hips to hold him in place.
“No, just- this is really hot,” Seokjin tells him, chuckling at the surprised sound Jungkook makes. “God,” Seokjin whispers, letting his hands slide to palm Jungkook’s cheeks, barely spreading them. He gets just a glimpse of the furl of Jungkook’s asshole and bites his lip to contain the deranged sound that threatens to come out of him. “Tell me if this is too much.”
“It’s not,” Jungkook supplies as he peeks over his shoulder at Seokjin, laughing giddily at his own eagerness. “It’s really, really not,” he asserts, arching his back even more.
“Can you reach the lube?” Seokjin asks and Jungkook leans toward the coffee table in front of them to grab it, giving Seokjin an even better view. When he sits up again he moves back, pressing himself against Seokjin’s crotch, shifting to feel how hard he is too and making a pleased little sound at that.
Seokjin holds his hand in front of Jungkook, palm up, and waits as he twists the packet open and pours out its contents. Seokjin’s other hand rests on Jungkook’s hip to steady him and he reaches between Jungkook’s thighs, wet fingers trailing up Jungkook’s length before he makes a proper grip.
“A-ah,” Jungkook sputters, hips lifting instantly into the friction, thighs squeezing Seokjin’s legs for leverage. “I thought you might, um…”
“Hmm?” Seokjin hums, having to take a second to figure out what Jungkook’s getting at, what having him in this position might imply. “Ah. I wasn’t sure that was an option.”
“I’ve never, um, done anything. Like that,” Jungkook haltingly admits.
“I see,” Seokjin says, starting to stroke Jungkook slowly, trying to dispel any building tension.
“I mean I want to,” Jungkook adds hastily. “Eventually. But maybe not- not yet.”
“This is good for now?” Seokjin confirms, kissing between Jungkook’s shoulder blades, feeling the sigh that leaves his lungs.
“Yeah, really good,” Jungkook assures him, head tipping back. “I like your hands.”
Seokjin chuckles against Jungkook’s skin. “Do you?”
“Y-yeah, you’re good with them,” Jungkook tells him, sucking in a breath when Seokjin speeds up a little.
“You like how hyung touches you, hmm?” Seokjin prompts, and they don’t know each other well enough for the honorific yet, but he sees the shiver that runs through Jungkook at his choice of words.
“Hyung touches me so well, like he knows just what I need,” Jungkook agrees and it’s Seokjin’s turn to come unraveled, his hand tightening reflexively on Jungkook’s hip. Jungkook’s doing a lot of the work now, rolling up into Seokjin’s touch, his bare ass brushing the tent in Seokjin’s slacks every time and Seokjin swears if - as a grown man - he comes in his pants he might die of mortification but he can’t bring himself to make Jungkook behave right now.
“You’re doing so well, Jungkook-ssi,” Seokjin praises him and Jungkook moans, fingers digging into Seokjin’s thighs.
“Getting close,” Jungkook warns and Seokjin can tell, has clocked the tremble of his thighs, can see the clench of his jaw even from this angle.
“Do you want to slow down?” he asks and when Jungkook hesitates to answer he readily offers, “or do you wanna come?”
“I-” Jungkook starts, turning his head again and Seokjin takes in his side profile, notices the flush trickling down his neck and over his shoulders, and is certain he’s never seen a more gorgeous sight than this.
“It’s okay if you want to, hyung doesn’t mind,” Seokjin assures him and Jungkook nods rapidly. “Get the cup ready.”
Jungkook has to sit up to comply so he won’t lose his balance, his back pressed to Seokjin’s front, shaky hands tearing the plastic to free the specimen cup. “I can’t see so you have to help,” Seokjin explains and Jungkook nods again, the cup disappearing between his legs and his hand covering Seokjin’s to get the angle he needs.
“F-fuck, I’m coming,” Jungkook moans, cock pulsing in their grip as Jungkook slides their tangled fingers up around the head, squeezing tighter. His hitching whimpers have Seokjin biting his shoulder to keep himself in check, not too hard but enough to make Jungkook whine, fucking forward into the circle of their fists until it’s too much and he lets go. He’s gasping to catch his breath, his full weight leaning back on Seokjin and it feels nice, being pressed like this, the closeness. Seokjin’s painfully hard but relieved he managed to keep from making a complete mess of himself, though his underwear is sticky with precum.
“Can you stand?” Seokjin asks after a few minutes and Jungkook shifts quickly but Seokjin puts a hand on his thigh. “Hey, take your time. I just wanted to make sure your legs didn’t fall asleep.”
“I’m good,” Jungkook answers, sounding a bit worn out. He slowly slides off Seokjin’s lap, glancing over his shoulder again as he screws the lid onto the cup and starts to redress.
Seokjin’s legs have fallen asleep so he stretches them out and waits for the pins and needles to pass before he stands, going to the sink to wash his hands and Jungkook joins him, once again quiet, the same awkwardness from yesterday threatening to creep in but Seokjin’s not having it this time. While Jungkook tries to lather the soap between his palms Seokjin shoves his own in between under the water, a flurry of movement that has Jungkook laughing.
“Hey!”
“What, I was here first,” Seokjin asserts, bumping Jungkook’s hip with his own to move him to the side. Jungkook does the same back with less force than he’s capable of which is good, if he wanted to he could probably send Seokjin flying across the room.
Jungkook turns off the water and Seokjin grabs a towel and uses it to dry both their hands at once, eliciting more sleepy giggles from Jungkook.
Jungkook grabs the cup and they head back to the waiting room together and he sets it on the desk while Seokjin does his actual job and prints the label and the check.
“Thanks for the help,” Jungkook murmurs, peering up through his lashes, cheeks still flushed and it smacks Seokjin square in the heart, a critical hit.
“Anytime,” he says, not picking up on the implication right away until Jungkook’s eyes go wide but he finds he doesn’t really mind once he realizes what he’s said.
“If it’s not too much trouble,” Jungkook says with a smile, doe eyes still on Seokjin as he walks backward toward the clinic door. He doesn’t look away or stop smiling and then he’s out of view and Seokjin’s heart is beating way too fast for this to be lust alone. It’s been years since he’s had a real crush and he’s giddy knowing Jungkook will be back to see him again next week.
~
Jungkook does come back twice a week every week on his usual days, always right before closing time. Seokjin locks the clinic door behind him, takes him to Suite 1 and helps him fill the cup. There’s very little pretense at this point; after the first week Jungkook stops taking the check, even though Seokjin still prints it, and after a few months they drop that bit of the act entirely. Seokjin tries not to get ahead of himself but now that Jungkook’s not coming in for the money, it feels more like he’s doing it just to be with Seokjin. Without the exchange of compensation for donation the intake form is forgotten too, the only thing that remains is the cup which gets left by the wayside more and more frequently even though they always bring it with them.
Seokjin does his best to go about the whole thing cautiously, not wanting to move too fast and potentially scare Jungkook off. The arrangement stays consistent; they go to the room, he jerks Jungkook off, and they clean up. The awkwardness that used to creep in after has made itself scarce and Seokjin would like to keep it that way, and even though it would be fun to add some new things to the mix, there’s something purely amazing about being in control, getting to watch without getting too caught up as he takes Jungkook apart. It’s a task that’s still surprisingly easy, even after these few months of them regularly doing whatever this is.
Jungkook hasn’t pushed for more either, hasn’t tried to take things to another level or even really put his hands on Seokjin much. Seokjin does his best not to take that personally, fully aware that Jungkook’s inexperience has to be a contributing factor and he has absolutely no intention of pressuring him. They always end up having a good time, laughing a lot, and though their conversations are brief they’re easy too. Plus Jungkook’s unreasonably pretty to look at, feels too good under Seokjin’s hands, and that’s enough for him. He has a good time when they’re together and he’s getting pretty used to jerking off in the shower once he’s home for the night to take the edge off. He assumes once Jungkook’s ready for more, if he ever is, he’ll let him know.
Except that it’s been about three months now and he hasn’t, and even though Seokjin’s still getting to know him he’s getting a vibe that maybe Jungkook is ready. On several recent occasions it’s like he’s psyching himself up for something, frazzled and fidgety in a way that he hasn’t been for a while, and at the last minute he loses his nerve or changes his mind and they stick to the routine. Seokjin’s always been pretty good at reading people and even better at being patient which has served him well at his job, but the nervous energy is amping him up too and it’s clear that an intervention is in order.
The worst Jungkook can say is no, which looks fine on paper but will be a little harder to swallow in reality if it’s said to Seokjin’s face, but with risk comes reward.
The next time Jungkook shows up on his regular day and stops at the desk like he always does, Seokjin’s in the middle of finalizing an appointment so he doesn’t look up from his computer screen, wanting to ensure he gets all the pertinent details from the phone call he just ended into the system. Jungkook hovers and it does nothing for Seokjin’s nerves, his conviction to make some kind of bold move losing steam quickly. “I’m just finishing this up, I’ll meet you in the room,” he says, trying to buy himself a little time and a little breathing room to reset.
“Oh. Cool,” Jungkook replies casually but his surprise at the change in routine is evident. This is new, different, so of course he’s a little thrown but he disappears down the hall anyway. Seokjin finishes setting the appointment and pushes back from his desk, taking a series of deep breaths. He can do this, he’s going to do this, it’s happening. He shakes the tension from his shoulders then gets up to lock the front door and follows after Jungkook.
When Seokjin gets to the first suite he finds Jungkook sitting on the desk, legs swinging, the rubber from his shoes eliciting a dull thud when they make contact with the wood. He looks as nervous as Seokjin feels, watching him closely as he closes the door to the room and carefully rolls up the sleeves of his lab coat, taking slow steps toward Jungkook.
“Is now a bad time?” Jungkook blurts, chewing on his thumbnail once the words have broken free.
“A bad time?” Seokjin repeats.
“For me to be here. If you’re busy or- or it’s just a bad time, you can tell me. I can go,” Jungkook explains, brow creased in concern.
“It’s not a bad time,” Seokjin assures him as calmly as he can.
“You didn’t bring a cup, should I get the tissues or-” Jungkook starts, his words evaporating into thin air when Seokjin drops to his knees in front of him. Jungkook opens and closes his mouth a few times, aborted syllables trying to form a coherent thought so Seokjin waits patiently, head tilted up at him. “Holy fuck,” Jungkook manages at last. “Um. Are you… are you serious?”
“I’m down here aren’t I?” Seokjin says evenly, licking his lips and Jungkook tracks the movement and shifts on the desk.
“You’re- I can- you’ll let me- you’re going to-” Jungkook stammers and Seokjin chuckles, a deep rumble of amusement before opening his mouth, tongue out. It’s an invitation he hopes is too irresistible despite Jungkook’s disbelief but he stays planted on the desk, eyes wide.
“Unless you don’t want to?”
“I-no, I do, I-” Jungkook rushes out, hands frantically going to his fly to open it and Seokjin huffs out an amused laugh. He reaches out to grab Jungkook by the waistband of his jeans and yanks him to his feet and forward. Jungkook staggers with the force of it, not that Seokjin is that strong but Jungkook’s unprepared and off-kilter. Seokjin catches him by the hips to steady him where he stands in front of him now.
When he looks up he’s met with the same surprised expression and he cocks his head. “You’re sure?”
It’s not really a question, he knows Jungkook’s sure, but asking it catalyzes Jungkook back into the struggle to get his pants out of the way as quickly as possible.
“Take your time, I’m not going anywhere,” Seokjin teases and Jungkook whines at that like he’s too overwhelmed to speak but needs to protest anyway. He hurries to shove his pants to his knees, thumbs tucking into his underwear but then he pauses, eyebrows lifting for complete confirmation. “Really, you can. I want to,” Seokjin confirms gently, hands brushing Jungkook’s out of the way so he can ease Jungkook’s briefs down his thighs.
He’s completely hard already, cock bobbing right in Seokjin’s face and he looks down at himself in alarm like he’s being rude or something. If Seokjin wasn’t desperate to get him in his mouth he might take a second to tease him again but he’s got clear priorities right now. He scoots in closer, one hand wrapping around the base of Jungkook’s dick and the other staying steady on his thigh.
“Do you need the lube?” Jungkook asks, trying to be helpful but so out of his element it’s endearing.
“I think I have it covered,” Seokjin tells him, licking his lips deliberately again before he leans in and Jungkook moans before he even makes contact, throwing his arm over his eyes so Seokjin pauses. “Okay?”
Jungkook nods, a small rapid bobble of his head. “You’re really hot.”
Seokjin laughs, sitting back but keeping contact. “Why does that seem distressing?”
“Your lips, I just- I’ve thought about this and I just- I might not make it,” Jungkook rambles, finally dropping his arm but his eyes are squeezed shut. When Seokjin doesn’t answer, because really what does one say to that, Jungkook cracks one lid to peer down at him. “In a good way.”
“You’re not making any sense,” Seokjin replies, slowly stroking him, keeping his touch light.
“I know,” Jungkook admits with a whine.
“Do you still want me to-”
“Yes,” Jungkook cuts in quickly, blinking his eyes open like he’s mustering the strength to go on.
“Then we understand each other just fine,” Seokjin explains, moving in again, still watching Jungkook’s face as he swipes the flat of his tongue up the underside of the head of Jungkook’s cock. Jungkook’s inhale is sharp so Seokjin waits a second, the warm smooth skin of Jungkook’s cockhead still on his extended tongue, and he raises an eyebrow.
“Please,” Jungkook whispers, the frenzied desperation in the single word bringing Seokjin up to match his intensity so quickly he feels lightheaded. He does his best to keep his cool at least outwardly, and guides Jungkook’s dick over the swell of his lips, opening his mouth wider to take him deeper.
The thudding of his heart competes with Jungkook’s broken moan to be the loudest sound in the room and Jungkook sways when Seokjin pulls back before sliding his lips down again. Seokjin moves his free hand to Jungkook’s hip and tightens his hold. He presses his tongue against the underside of Jungkook’s dick, forceful licks as he bobs his head slowly and when Jungkook looks down and meets his gaze he gasps.
“Oh, oh my god,” Jungkook moans, rocking forward accidentally and he hisses at the added friction, Seokjin relaxing his jaw to accommodate him. Jungkook can’t seem to stop the miniscule roll of his hips and Seokjin wonders if he even knows he’s doing it but he’s not going to stop him. He’d let Jungkook fully take control of this if he wanted to, let him take what he needs, but he’s not going to interrupt what they’re in the middle of now to tell him that.
Not that he has time anyway judging by the way Jungkook’s breathing hitches, the muscles in his thighs clenching and his hip flexing in Seokjin’s grip.
“Hyung, I-I’m gonna-” Jungkook tries to warn him and Seokjin pulls back just enough so he doesn’t choke as Jungkook starts to come, as it floods his mouth. Jungkook hunches over and braces his hands on Seokjin’s shoulders, struggling to stand but keeps rutting shallowly forward like he can’t get enough and Seokjin swallows, breathing steadily through his nose that’s pressed to Jungkook’s pelvis.
Jungkook finally pushes against Seokjin’s shoulder to leverage himself back, blinking down at Seokjin like he’s trying to figure out what just happened, reaching out to cup Seokjin’s cheek and he reflexively leans into the touch. Jungkook’s thumb traces his swollen lower lip and Seokjin’s barely able to resist kissing the pad of it, aware that’s far too romantic for their arrangement.
Jungkook sort of crumples ungracefully to the floor but Seokjin still has a hand on him and pulls him forward as he sits back on his heels, Jungkook nearly ending up in his lap with Seokjin’s arms around him. It’s a more intimate gesture than they usually find themselves in but Seokjin’s not inclined to let go, lets himself have this indulgence. Jungkook leans into it, sweaty forehead tucked in the junction of Seokjin’s neck and shoulder and Seokjin can feel the expansion and contraction of Jungkook’s ribs, the searing heat pouring off his skin, the weight of him as he holds him, and realizes he is utterly and completely screwed.
Jungkook huffs a tired laugh against Seokjin’s neck, trying to find the energy to put space between them so Seokjin helps him sit more upright but selfishly keeps him close. “I knew it would be different but I didn’t know, you know?”
Seokjin chuckles, brushing damp strands of hair from Jungkook’s forehead. “I think so?”
“’was really good, hyung, I feel all jell-oey,” Jungkook hums, eyelids heavy and smile soft and sleepy.
“I’m glad,” Seokjin says and it could be awkward but instead it comes out so genuinely Seokjin’s a bit embarrassed. “You wanna take a nap?”
“I like naps,” Jungkook confirms, making a disgruntled noise when Seokjin disentangles himself and stands, going to the small closet in the room and digging out a pillow and two blankets. They’re not much, akin to what airlines give out and wrapped in the same sterile plastic which Seokjin removes. He arranges one blanket on the couch, then the pillow, then drapes the other blanket over it as a makeshift bed.
Jungkook’s still sitting on the floor when Seokjin returns, dozing a little and he startles when Seokjin places a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, come here,” Seokjin urges quietly, taking Jungkook’s hands and pulling him to his feet. He gently tucks Jungkook back into his pants and does up the fly, making Jungkook’s cheeks flare crimson in the process, then leads him to the couch. “Jja-jan!” Seokjin announces, showing off his creation with a sweeping arm.
“I can really nap?” Jungkook asks in surprise, trying to blink his eyes open.
“I have some things to finish up, closing duties, so yeah if you want,” Seokjin confirms, feeling shy about the offer but Jungkook grins happily and it settles Seokjin’s vulnerability. Seokjin lifts the top blanket and nods his head for Jungkook to get in, which he does, the smile not leaving his face.
“You’re the best, hyung,” he manages around a big yawn, wriggling when Seokjin drapes the top blanket over him, tucking it in around his shoulders and hips. “Thanks.”
“Get some rest,” Seokjin replies, fully aware his ears are bright red and he’s sure Jungkook’s noticed, too but he doesn’t say anything. Seokjin turns the light down as he goes, leaving the door open just a sliver before returning to his desk.
It’s an understatement that it’s hard for Seokjin to focus when the person he very recently realized is the man of his dreams in sleeping meters away, he’s sure he’s not doing his best work. He’s torn between wanting to rush through everything so he can get back to the suite and taking his time so Jungkook can rest and he can draw out the moment. He has no business thinking it means anything more than it does, but it’s a struggle not to blow the slight hint of familiarity out of proportion.
If he keeps dawdling he’s going to have to take a later train which isn’t a huge deal but means less sleep before work tomorrow so he forces himself to stop daydreaming about Jungkook coming home with him and trudges back to the room.
Seokjin leaves the lights low, quietly approaching and instantly struck by how peaceful Jungkook looks while he sleeps; he’s rolled onto his belly, legs tangled in the blanket and feet sticking out, his head turned to one side and his hair falling across his forehead. Snores he would define as less than soft follow the rise and fall of his ribs and Seokjin hates that he has to disturb him but he kneels down by the couch and places a hand gently on Jungkook’s shoulder.
“Hey, Jungkook-ah, time to wake up,” Seokjin says quietly, squeezing just a little and Jungkook makes a whiny noise of protest. “I know, but we gotta go. Come on, I’ll walk with you to the subway.”
Jungkook fights to open his eyes and Seokjin has the momentary fear that he’ll be disoriented, not know why Seokjin’s waking him up or where he is, but he just sluggishly twists around until he’s on his back, stretching his arms overhead and his legs down the length of the couch, yawning. “Mmm. Thanks for letting me sleep.”
“I think you needed it,” Seokjin says, trying to tease but it comes out grossly fond. Luckily Jungkook seems too groggy to notice.
“You wore me out,” Jungkook tells him with a laugh cut off by another yawn, pushing himself upright. His hair sticks up from the static of the cheap pillow and Seokjin resists the urge to pet it flat for him.
“Sorry?” Seokjin apologizes with a chuckle.
“No, it was good. Really really- it was great. Best sleep I’ve had in a while too,” Jungkook corrects. “Beats the hell out of warm milk and melatonin.”
“Too bad you can’t get a doctor to write a prescription for blowjobs,” Seokjin jokes and Jungkook snickers, finally getting to his feet and stumbling a little into Seokjin who reaches up to steady him.
“Seems like you have to do that a lot,” Jungkook mumbles.
“What?” Seokjin asks, hesitant to let go of Jungkook but he does.
“Keep me from falling,” Jungkook explains, smiling sleepily before heading for the door of the suite. He stops near Seokjin’s desk and stares across the empty waiting room. “It got dark.”
“You slept for over an hour,” Seokjin tells him and Jungkook hums, following Seokjin to the door and waiting while he unlocks it, holding it open for Jungkook and then locking it behind them. Jungkook shivers against the chill of the autumn air, shoving his hands in his pockets as they start walking to the subway station nearby.
“Chilly,” he notes, walking closer to Seokjin than probably necessary but the small amount of shared body heat is nice.
“You need a coat,” Seokjin says. Jungkook shrugs but doesn’t argue or agree. After a few moments of silence, Seokjin starts, “So… can I ask you something?”
“Um, sure?” Jungkook replies, his shoulder bumping Seokjin’s as they near the entrance to the station.
“You don’t have to answer, obviously,” Seokjin prefaces, “but what’s the money for?”
“The money?” Jungkook repeats, stepping onto the escalator in front of Seokjin.
“You know, what you made from, ah, donating,” Seokjin clarifies, watching the back of Jungkook’s head, his shoulders, to see if he’s crossed a line but he gets no reaction. Jungkook doesn’t answer right away so Seokjin scrambles to prevent any discomfort. “Some people use it for partying or vacations, or to supplement income. It’s none of my business, sorry, I shouldn’t have-”
“Oh. Nothing in particular really, I’ve just been saving it,” Jungkook interrupts.
“Saving it?” Seokjin asks and Jungkook turns to look at him.
“Yeah. I mean I have a job, I don’t really need it. But there doesn't seem to be a reason not to make a little extra doing something I’m already doing,” Jungkook explains easily.
“Wow. How entrepreneurial of you,” Seokjin teases and Jungkook rolls his eyes but he’s grinning.
“The dragon rises up from a small stream,” he says with a pleased smirk before turning away as the escalator reaches the bottom.
Seokjin chuckles, resting his hands on Jungkook’s shoulders. “Yes he does.”
Seokjin follows Jungkook through the station, winding around the evening commuters and they pause between the turnstiles that lead to one of the platforms.
“This is me,” Jungkook says, gesturing to the stairs leading down to line 2.
“I’m 5,” Seokjin tells him, nodding in the direction of his train.
“Thanks for walking with me. And letting me nap. And… other stuff,” Jungkook mumbles, tongue bumping his lip rings.
“I’ll see you later, Jungkook-ah.”
There’s a moment where neither of them move and Seokjin considers that maybe he should kiss him, or at least hug him, but they both stand there awkwardly.
“Bye!” Jungkook blurts suddenly, turning and rushing through the turnstile before disappearing down the steps.
~
The next time Jungkook shows up they have to go through the ruse of checking him in because there’s someone else in the clinic waiting on a patient in one of the rooms. Jungkook looks smug the whole time he’s filling out the intake form and Seokjin tries to surreptitiously peek at the Last ejaculation answer but it’s not like Jungkook’s being discreet - he puts the date he was last at the clinic, a question mark for the time and a smiley face. When he looks up at Seokjin’s flushed face he seems overly pleased to have rattled him.
Seokjin hands Jungkook a cup and shows him to his suite, which really has become his - it’s not that Seokjin wouldn’t make use of the room if the clinic was busy and he had nowhere else to put people, but it hasn’t been busy enough to be at the full capacity of 6 rooms so he’s left Suite 1 empty, just in case. It’s intentional but not sentimental, at least that’s what he tells himself.
As he closes the door once Jungkook’s inside he wonders if he’ll actually do anything without Seokjin in the room and he feels a twinge of something he identifies as jealousy, which is ridiculous. There’s no one to be jealous of, just the missed opportunity to be there, to be the one-
Seokjin’s thoughts are interrupted by the man who was in Suite 3 as he drops off his cup at the desk and Seokjin smiles, goes through his thorough albeit record speed follow-up instructions for test results and billing and escorts the man toward the door, holding it open in an effort to usher him and his partner out of the clinic in a way that he hopes looks polite and not impatient. The second they’re out the door he’s flipping the sign to Closed and the bolt to locked, jogging to Suite 1 where he left Jungkook only a handful of minutes ago, still worried he might have started without him. Hopefully even if he did, he hasn’t finished without him.
When Seokjin throws the door open, only slightly out of breath, Jungkook’s sitting on the desk just like last time, still fully clothed thank god. Seokjin’s not sure he could have handled it if Jungkook had actually done what he’s pretending to do, if he had filled the cup and gone home with his check. The giddiness makes Seokjin rush, stumbling over his own feet and ending up clumsily in the open vee of Jungkook’s thighs. He disguises it as smoothly as he can, cupping Jungkook’s cheeks and swooping in quickly to kiss him. It’s ridiculously passionate like he hasn’t seen Jungkook in years and not a few days and Jungkook kisses him back like he’s going off to sea. It’s silly how breathless they both get and Seokjin feels dizzier when Jungkook whimpers against his kiss-swollen lips.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Seokjin manages, staying close with a hand on Jungkook’s nape and their foreheads pressed together.
“Worth it,” Jungkook replies, chasing Seokjin’s kisses again.
Seokjin realizes they haven’t actually kissed since that first time and he has the absurd thought that if they spent the whole time doing nothing but this and Jungkook went home that would be okay with him. Better than okay, it would be nice, it would be-
“I, uh, I have a surprise for you,” Jungkook tells him, putting his hand on Seokjin’s chest to push him back just enough so he can slide off the desk before reaching for his fly.
Seokjin laughs. “I’m not sure that’s much of a surprise at this point but I’m still excited-” he breaks off instantly, words robbed right out of his mouth when Jungkook shifts his jeans down and reveals a hint of lacy green, soft seafoam against his beautiful skin. It’s only the top bit of fabric visible so far but Seokjin’s mind races to fill in the blanks with what he knows, what must be going on under the persistent denim.
“I-” Jungkook starts, tugging his fly closed and Seokjin’s eyes snap up. “I guess I never thought to ask, if you were into wearing them yourself or if you would want someone else-”
“I want you,” Seokjin confirms easily, eagerly, because fuck he really does, he’s wanted him on a primal level for a season but now he wants to keep him year-round.
“You didn’t say anything so-” Jungkook explains and Seokjin realizes he hadn’t, he’d been gawking and thanking his lucky stars and forgot basic etiquette and the human language which still seem to be failing him so he drops to his knees instead. He knee-walks the last few centimeters and reaches out, arms wrapping around Jungkook to bring him closer as he buries his face in the peek of green.
“It’s okay?” Jungkook asks, nervousness still evident in his words and Seokjin huffs a laugh against his skin, looking up at big, round eyes.
“Okay? This is- I can’t believe this is really happening,” replies in awe and when Jungkook smiles, that same giddiness from before blooms rampant in Seokjin’s chest, spreading like wildfire that’s set on consuming every bit of him.
“Can I?” Seokjin asks, fingers barely tucking into the waistband of Jungkook’s pants where they rest low on his hips and he nods, excitement and shyness battling in his expression. Seokjin is gentle as he eases Jungkook’s jeans down, helping him step out of them, and his eyes drag up the length of Jungkook’s legs; slim calves, shapely thighs, he’s seen them before of course but once the seafoam is in his line of sight he feels lightheaded and helpless in a way he kind of loves.
Jungkook tugs his shirt over his head while Seokjin studies the pattern of the lace, wide and swooping so he can see hints behind the delicate complexity of the design. He doesn’t miss the way the material is pulled tight because Jungkook’s half hard just from being under his gaze. Seokjin’s hands skim up the backs of Jungkook’s thighs, up over the swell of his ass and then settle on his hips like he’s pinning him there to get a better look. He leans in, nosing along the bulge, breathing in the scent of fabric softener and soap and Jungkook, a heady combination that nearly has him swooning.
“They’re very pretty on you,” Seokjin assures him, eyes fluttering open to look up and Jungkook lets out a harsh breath that he must have been holding on to in anticipation. “Gorgeous.”
“I- I just bought them,” Jungkook admits, humming when Seokjin mouths over the head of his dick through the netting, breathing hot against him.
“Did you?” Seokjin purrs before his teeth scrape down over Jungkook’s soft inner thigh, then moving back up to kiss over his hips.
“My first pair,” Jungkook confirms and Seokjin sits back on his heels to really take Jungkook in, watching the blush fan out over his cheeks. “I thought… you might like them.”
“You bought them… with me in mind?” Seokjin asks, curious and pleasantly surprised.
Jungkook nods so eagerly it sends a pang of fondness right to Seokjin’s heart. “I did, I’ve wanted to get something like this for a while but… I was nervous, I didn’t know what would look good on me and I thought maybe it was too weird. Besides, who was I gonna wear them for?”
“You could wear them for yourself,” Seokjin says softly, “but don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to get the opportunity to see them. How do you feel now, wearing them?” Seokjin asks, thumbs drawing lazy shapes on Jungkook’s hip bones.
“Pretty,” Jungkook murmurs, almost like he shouldn’t be saying these things. “Sexy.”
“You’re fucking right about that,” Seokjin asserts. “Lean back on the desk for me?”
Jungkook does as he’s asked and Seokjin follows quickly like a man dying of thirst, pressing right back in, lips dragging over skin-scorched lace. He sneaks a hand up one leg hole to shift Jungkook’s dick into a more comfortable position so he’s not straining against the confines of the material as much but he leaves them on, pulling his hand free so he can keep exploring over the panties.
Jungkook’s hands are braced on the desk and his head tips up to the ceiling, exposing the sharp line of his jaw that Seokjin’s more than a little obsessed with, so much so that he almost leaves his position of reverence to stand and claim the spot with fevered kisses. He feels delirious around Jungkook, some kind of infatuation that he’s not sure he’s ever experienced before. He’s never been addicted to anything but he imagines this is what it must feel like, the persistent need to indulge, the rush and relief when he’s given the opportunity.
Seokjin mouths over the lace until it’s wet, slick with his saliva and Jungkook’s precum, getting drunk off Jungkook's soft moans that tumble out with every pass of his lips. His dick presses insistently against the seam of his slacks but it’s an afterthought, something he might deal with later when he doesn’t have everything he’s ever fantasized about in front of him.
Jungkook’s shifted forward, huddled close to him with one hand cradling the back of his head and the other on his shoulder to keep himself upright. His touch is light in both places like he doesn’t want to impose but Seokjin kind of wishes he would, wishes he’d press just enough, use him however he needs to. Since he’s not against the desk anymore though, Seokjin sucks one finger into his mouth before putting his lips back to the lace and sneaks his hand up the leg hole of the panties in the back, trailing it down Jungkook’s crack.
“Oh,” Jungkook moans, tilting back into the touch and giving Seokjin just enough room to get his spit-slick finger to Jungkook’s hole, resting the pad there. “You can, you can,” Jungkook murmurs feverishly.
“I’d need lube,” Seokjin tells him, shocked at how gravelly his voice is, the arousal unmistakable. He doesn’t expect Jungkook to pursue it but seconds later the sample packet is in Seokjin’s view. He looks up at Jungkook, the undeniable inferno of want in his gaze, his subtle nod to assure Seokjin he really wants to so Seokjin takes the packet. He has to fight to keep his hands steady enough to open it, wanting to keep Jungkook at ease when internally he’s reached fever pitch. He spreads a generous amount of lube over his fingers, nudging Jungkook’s thighs apart to get his hand between them and leaving a sticky trail up the insides of Jungkook’s thighs as he gets his hand under the lace again, leaning in to breathe hot over the head of Jungkook’s cock.
Jungkook whines, torn between pressing into the heat of Seokjin’s mouth or into for his touch, his back arching and Seokjin almost lets out a delirious laugh, overwhelmed by every bit of it.
“Please,” Jungkook whispers when Seokjin hasn’t done anything yet, hips moving back to present himself even more and Seokjin shoves his face against Jungkook’s pelvis, breathing deep against his skin, then settles the pad of his finger against the tight furl of Jungkook’s asshole again. Jungkook inhales sharply and makes a sound like he’s going to ask again but he doesn’t need to, Seokjin wants nothing more than to comply with his request. He rubs a few firm circles before sliding inside, the tight squeeze of Jungkook’s muscles at odds with his pleasured sob, how he pushes himself back greedily.
“You said you hadn’t before,” Seokjin says, lips dragging over the panties as he speaks, “is that still the case?”
“I-” Jungkook starts, whimpering when Seokjin sinks his finger deeper, and he hesitates for a moment before continuing. “Just a little, in the shower.”
“Oh?” Seokjin prompts, slowly moving in and out, not very deep but Jungkook’s legs still shake.
“Sorry,” Jungkook murmurs and Seokjin doesn’t stop moving inside him but sits back to look up at him.
“Why should you be sorry?” he asks, tilting his head in confusion.
Jungkook glances down but then looks straight ahead, brow knitted in distress or pleasure, Seokjin can’t tell. “I thought maybe you’d… wish you’d been the first.”
Seokjin chuckles, burrowing back into the heat of Jungkook’s groin, his words muffled. “Maybe. Maybe I like the idea of touching yourself in the shower.”
“Yeah?” Jungkook urges, unsure.
“Were you thinking about me?” Seokjin asks, pressing deeper.
“Y-yeah,” Jungkook admits freely.
“Did you think about me doing this? Or-”
“Fucking me,” Jungkook supplies, words stretched thin. “I came so hard, I was worried I might pass out so I had to sit on the shower floor.”
Seokjin hums appreciatively. “Put your hand on my shoulder, okay?”
“Huh?” Jungkook asks, clearly struggling to comprehend.
“One hand on my shoulder, Jungkook-ah,” Seokjin repeats and Jungkook does as he’s told, gasping in surprise when Seokjin uses his other shoulder to duck under Jungkook’s opposite knee, hitching his leg up. Jungkook’s fingers tighten, biting his skin through his lab coat as he wobbles but manages to keep his footing. “Ready?”
“For-for what?” Jungkook manages and Seokjin grins, pressing deeper right against Jungkook’s prostate. “Oh god,” Jungkook moans, inadvertently shoving himself into Seokjin’s face, spine curling. “What the fuck?”
“Didn’t find this in the shower, huh?” Seokjin asks wickedly, rubbing firmly on the spot
“Hyung, a-ah, I’m getting close,” Jungkook warns breathlessly, urgently. “Should I take them off?”
“Do you want to?” Seokjin asks, mouthing up the length of Jungkook’s dick.
“They’ll get messy,” Jungkook says in a whisper like it’s embarrassing but there’s a thrill in his tone.
“Yeah?” Seokjin urges, placing a few hard kisses to the crown of Jungkook’s cock, teasing him inside. “Gonna be my messy boy?”
“A-ah,” Jungkook gasps, thighs tensing. “Oh fuck- can I? I’m so close I don’t- don’t think I can stop.”
“Let me see you,” Seokjin encourages, one last drag of his lips before he sits back just enough, still fucking into Jungkook’s hole as he starts to come. He bites his lip to contain a whimper as Jungkook clenches down on him, as the lace catches each pulse of Jungkook’s release. Seeing the way his legs shake and his chest heaves as he soaks through the fine mesh makes him feel rabid and Seokjin leans back in to put his mouth there, overcome with the need to taste him.
Jungkook shudders in his arms, his grip on Seokjin’s shoulder so tight it will probably bruise. He eases his hand out from between Jungkook’s legs and helps him find his balance again, staying close as Jungkook comes down, placing soft kisses on his belly to reassure him in the interim when it’s too early for words. The persistence of his own arousal tugs at his attention but he ignores it for now.
Jungkook steps back on trembling legs until he hits the desk and he lies down flat against it, legs dangling. Seokjin watches the rapid rise and fall of his chest in time with harsh breaths and tries not to freak out at the long stretch of silence between them. He should get up before the inevitable soreness in his knees reminds him he’s not as young as he used to be yet something keeps him here in this slightly subservient position. Not that he’s waiting for permission but there’s an unsteadiness to this moment, a return to equilibrium after letting himself completely fall into the heat of the moment. It’s not so much embarrassment as it is concern that Jungkook might decide to draw a line at certain things, or maybe he’s worried if Jungkook sees his face right now his infatuation will be unavoidably obvious.
“Hyung?” Jungkook says after a few moments, struggling to upright himself but Seokjin tracks the shake in his muscles so he hurries to his feet, schooling his expression, putting a lid on just how enamored he is.
“Okay, Jungkook-ah?” Seokjin asks, perching on the edge of the desk so Jungkook knows he’s there.
“Mmm,” Jungkook hums, eyes closed and Seokjin takes the opportunity to greedily note the rosy flush over his cheeks, spilling down his temples, the deepened pink of his lips, the way his hair sticks to the sheen of perspiration on his forehead. He’s wrecked but beautiful, wrecked and beautiful. When he opens his eyes Seokjin quickly looks away, letting his gaze drift back in time to catch Jungkook staring at the obvious tent in his pants.
Seokjin clears his throat and stands, heading to the small vanity in the room. He gets a washcloth from the cabinet and runs it under warm water, his back to Jungkook which is good, it gives him time to calm down and discreetly adjust himself so it’s not quite as obvious how turned on he is. He shuts off the water and turns, finding Jungkook standing now but still leaning against the desk, looking down at the floor. Seokjin can’t tell if he’s wrung out from getting off or upset but he hurries back, holding out the cloth toward Jungkook. “If you want to clean up.”
“Oh, right,” Jungkook murmurs, a tinge of embarrassment coloring the words and despite the roller coaster of emotions Seokjin’s wrestling with he’s not going to let Jungkook experience any discomfort if he can help it. He pulls the cloth back when Jungkook reaches for it and musters every bit of courage he can.
“I could… do it,” Seokjin offers, his need to take care of Jungkook right now too powerful to ignore. “If that’s okay.”
“Please,” Jungkook agrees quietly, standing perfectly still as Seokjin kneels again, slowly easing down the panties and setting them aside. He carefully brushes the cloth over Jungkook’s skin, being thorough but gentle, rising when he’s done and taking the cloth and underwear back to the sink.
“I don’t have anything to loan you,” he apologizes over his shoulder as he rinses the washcloth, tossing it in the laundry bin under the sink.
“It’s okay, I can go without,” Jungkook tells him. Seokjin leans forward against the counter, the messy green lace wadded up in his hand, hesitating to run it under the water. The urge to keep them, and keep them like this as some kind of reminder is strong but he shakes his head to push past it. He does his best to clean them, wringing the excess water out and getting one of the small bin liners out of the cupboard to tuck the panties in, taking them back to Jungkook.
“I got them as clean as I could,” he says as he passes the bag. “Sorry.”
Jungkook tilts his head. “Why? It’s my mess.”
“Because I wanted you to- I asked you to…” Seokjin trails off. “Anyway, they looked really nice on you.”
“Thanks,” Jungkook replies, a shy smile tugging at his lips. “Do you want me to-”
“I can, ah, walk you out?” Seokjin cuts in, hating the way Jungkook’s brow crumples in confusion. Seokjin never wants Jungkook to feel like he has to do anything, he doesn’t want there to be a sense of obligation. It’s easier to keep things as they are, for the best really. “Gotta unlock the door,” he adds, moving past Jungkook to the hallway and through the lobby where he has to wait as Jungkook redresses. He emerges from the first suite looking ruffled, the bag clutched in his hand as he approaches Seokjin.
Seokjin unlocks the door, holding it open. “I’ll see you later?”
“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook mumbles, shuffling past him and hurrying in the direction of the subway station and Seokjin gets the distinct feeling he did something wrong when he was trying to do something he thought was right.
Seokjin goes home and showers and doesn’t even have to ignore his boner, because tragically his hard-on has been replaced with a heart-on. He makes dinner and watches TV and pretends that what happened at the clinic today was no big deal. It’s not that he doesn’t want the memory burned into his brain, that he doesn’t want to spend some time ruminating on the intricacies of Jungkook’s tensed muscles or the complete mess they made of his underwear, he very much does want to do those things. But Jungkook probably just has some kind of voyeuristic fetish, and inevitably it would never work out in the long run.
So there’s really no point in Seokjin pursuing anything, letting himself get even more invested. Jungkook might not come back into the clinic again and Seokjin won’t even have to worry about it.
But he kind of wants to worry about it, which is the problem.
He goes to bed late because he can’t stop obsessing and then ends up tossing and turning for a long time until finally he allows the events of the day to fully replay, the highlight reel of the really good stuff slightly soured by the way he rushed Jungkook out the door.
He can’t keep going on like this when he doesn’t know what Jungkook’s intentions are, if he’s just having a good time or if it means more to him than that. It’s probably for the best if Seokjin just ends it; it was fun while it lasted but he should call an end to their arrangement. At least Jungkook won’t be in until next week, his usual day, so Seokjin has time to figure out how he’s going to go about it.
The next morning goes smoothly, Seokjin makes his train with plenty of time so he doesn’t have to rush, he even gets a seat which is rare. The walk from the station to the clinic is brisk, it’s a chilly but sunny morning and something about it feels like a fresh start. There’s a level of efficiency to his work that’s been missing lately, when he’s been frazzled by thinking about the next time he’d see Jungkook, but since he’s decided to move on from that he’s ridiculously clear headed.
He’s nearly two hours into his morning, working like a well-oiled machine, when someone chucks a wrench in the gears. And that someone shouldn’t be here, at least not until next week. Friday morning is not Jungkook’s usual day or time and there are other people in the clinic Seokjin has to consider, and many hours until closing time when he’d usually be able to deal with Jungkook.
“Can I… help you?” Seokjin asks haltingly, eyes drifting to the man sitting across the room and peering curiously at them over his Vogue magazine.
“Hey,” Jungkook says, leaning on the desk looking much too relaxed compared to the absolute panic Seokjin is experiencing.
“Um. You know you can’t donate today right? Since you were already in twice this week?” Seokjin reminds him.
“I’m not sure what happened yesterday counts,” Jungkook mumbles, blushing and biting his lip to hide a small smile but Seokjin’s heart hammers relentlessly against his ribs anyway because even though he’s convinced his brain he needs to end this his heart is a much harder sell.
He glances at the guy in the waiting room again who quickly pretends he’s been reading and not eavesdropping. “I suppose that’s true,” Seokjin relents. “Okay well if you want to take this to the room-” Seokjin starts, holding out a cup and Jungkook’s brow furrows. “Everything okay?”
“I thought… you would show me to the room,” Jungkook explains, “like you normally do.”
“Right,” Seokjin agrees, “it’s just- I have another patient and someone waiting, so…”
Jungkook follows Seokjin’s eyes to the man in the lobby who actually hides behind his magazine now. “Is he donating?”
“No, his partner- they have a surrogate,” Seokjin explains quietly. “But, you know, I need to be up here in case they need anything so…”
“Sure,” Jungkook says, frowning, but he takes the cup. Before Seokjin can say anything else he heads down the hall to their - his - usual room.
Seokjin feels like he’s taken two steps forward and about a million steps back, the desire to be in the suite with Jungkook is so persistent and loud. Not even for sexy reasons either, but just to be around him, to make him laugh to ensure that frown isn’t still in place.
The patient in Suite 4 returns to the desk and Seokjin goes through the motions of his job. Once the couple leaves he tries to settle behind the desk and tries to resist doing anything outside of the normal parameters of his actual job. After 20 minutes Jungkook still hasn’t come out of the room and Seokjin tries to convert his building worry into agitation instead, wondering what could be taking him so long, what game he’s playing at. Eventually he works himself into such a state of annoyance that he jumps up out of his chair, sending it rolling back into the door to the back office. Seokjin marches through the waiting room, locking the door and flipping the sign to Closed before making his way to the first suite.
When he throws the door open Jungkook doesn’t even flinch, he’s lying on his back across the desk, tossing the cup in the air and catching it. Seokjin is fuming at this point but grits his teeth and deploys his professional demeanor. “Did you need more time-”
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” Jungkook blurts, sitting up quickly, his casual facade vanishing instantly.
“What?” Seokjin asks, startled and trying to sort out what Jungkook could even be apologizing for.
“I said I’m sorry about what happened yesterday,” Jungkook repeats.
“I-”
“Actually, I’m not, I’m not sorry,” Jungkook rushes on, cutting Seokjin off. “It was amazing and I thought you thought so too and I thought about it all night and I was still thinking about it this morning when I woke up and just… I had to come back and see you.”
Seokjin attempts to absorb the onslaught of words he just endured. “Then why did you say you were sorry?”
“Because it seems like you’re upset, so I thought that’s what I should say,” Jungkook admits quietly.
“I’m not,” Seokjin replies after a second, crossing his arms.
“Not what? Sorry, or upset?” Jungkook asks anxiously.
“Either, really,” Seokjin admits with a sigh, sitting next to Jungkook who moves over to make space.
“I really want to do something for you, I- I want to make you feel good, you know? And I know you probably think I don’t know what I’m doing and you’re probably right, I don’t. But I’m a fast learner,” Jungkook promises.
“Jungkook-ah, you don’t have to-”
“I know. I know I don’t, I want to, remember?” Jungkook cuts in. “I have wanted to, but I didn’t know how to start and then I thought maybe you didn’t want me to, especially after last night.”
“Oh,” Seokjin manages, a bit stunned that Jungkook picked up on that, and upset that he wasn’t better at hiding it.
“But… do you want me to?” Jungkook presses, eyes huge as he looks expectantly at Seokjin. Asked point blank, it's not like he can lie, and he doesn’t want to anyway, so Seokjin nods lightly, his chest feeling tight when Jungkook breaks into a grin. “So I can try?”
Seokjin attempts to smother his own giddy smile, still worried about seeming too eager. “What do you want to try?”
“Touching you,” Jungkook supplies shyly, softly, his hand drifting to rest on Seokjin’s knee almost experimentally.
“I mean… I’m not legally allowed to be a donor at my place of business,” Seokjin teases.
“I think we can drop the pretense,” Jungkook says, scooting closer.
“Which is what exactly?” Seokjin asks, eyes flitting to Jungkook’s lips, definitely close enough to be kissed.
“I haven’t come in a cup in weeks, and you haven’t cut me a check,” Jungkook reminds him, leaning in.
“What are you getting at?” Seokjin murmurs, letting the gravitational force that seems to exist between them tug him forward too.
“I’m trying to get at you,” Jungkook whispers, rolling his eyes.
Seokjin laughs, probably louder than he should when he’s sitting this close to someone because it seems to startle Jungkook. “Sorry, sorry. I’m nervous.”
“Why are you nervous?” Jungkook prompts, fully focused on Seokjin, patiently waiting for him to answer.
“I don’t know, because I like you, because I’m worried about what’ll change after this, if you decide you’ve gotten everything you want out of it,” Seokjin tries to explain.
Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “What is it you think I want?”
“Well, at first it was money,” Seokjin starts.
“Was it?” Jungkook asks in amusement, smirking.
“Was it not?” Seokjin hits back, utterly confused.
Jungkook shakes his head then shrugs. “I mean, I didn’t hate that part. I don’t know, there was just kind of… a thrill to it? Like being in public, but not really. That someone would know what I was doing, even if they weren’t directly watching, you know?”
Seokjin hums, letting the information sink in. “Cerebral voyeurism.”
“And then I got here and you were the one who would know, and you’re so handsome and I liked you instantly. So thinking that it was you that knew…” Jungkook trails off.
“Right.”
“It was hot, I was like… super into it, but you probably didn’t even think about that, did you?” Jungkook asks.
“Not at first,” Seokjin answers honestly. “I mean, I thought you were cute but I wasn’t really thinking about it that much until the first time… I heard you.”
“Did you?” Jungkook presses, obviously excited by this revelation.
“I didn’t mean to,” Seokjin rushes to defend himself, though it’s clearly not necessary. “Okay I was kinda loitering outside your door, but I didn’t expect- it’s a violation of privacy, obviously-”
“That’s so hot,” Jungkook interrupts, scooting closer again, his hand firmly on Seokjin’s thigh now.
“It is?” Seokjin asks in surprise.
“I was hoping you might,” Jungkook admits, teeth scraping cutely over his bottom lip.
“Oh. Well then I feel way less guilty about the boner I got,” Seokjin mutters.
“You got a boner?” Jungkook repeats, leaning farther into Seokjin’s space.
“Yup,” Seokjin confirms, cheeks heating.
“From hearing me?” Jungkook wants to be sure.
“Yah! You sound really pretty when you come okay? And I haven’t gotten laid in a while,” Seokjin grumbles, pouting.
“So what do you think?” Jungkook asks, actually bouncing in excitement.
“About what? I feel like I just told you a lot of things I think,” Seokjin says coolly.
“Me… doing something for you,” Jungkook hints, tongue playing with his lip rings and drawing Seokjin’s attention.
“What did you have in mind?” Seokjin asks, voice rough and he clears his throat, tearing his eyes off Jungkook’s mouth.
“I have a lot of things in mind but I should probably start with something in my wheelhouse,” Jungkook points out. “I know handjobs aren’t, like, super exciting-”
“Says who?” Seokjin cuts in, narrowing his eyes.
Jungkook blinks back at him. “People?”
“People who haven’t had a good handjob,” Seokjin mutters.
“What if I don’t give a good handjob?” Jungkook asks nervously.
“I think you have plenty of experience with the equipment,” Seokjin jokes and Jungkook snorts. “Plus you’ll be touching my dick so I feel like this is a win-win.”
Jungkook’s eyes meander down at the mention and he stares at Seokjin’s slacks. “You’re getting hard already,” he points out, squirming.
“I’m enthusiastically looking forward to a proficient handjob,” Seokjin deadpans and Jungkook laughs, but the sound slowly trails off.
“How should we, um…” Jungkook starts and Seokjin glances around the room.
“Couch?” he suggests.
“Couch,” Jungkook confirms, both of them sliding off the desk and making their way to the center of the room. They sit side by side, both facing forward, their thighs touching but hands in their laps. Seokjin is kinda waiting for Jungkook to take the lead but it’s clear he’s nervous so after a few seconds Seokjin shifts to face him, cupping Jungkook’s chin to turn his head. He’s deliberate as he slowly leans in, searching Jungkook’s eyes and hoping it’s not just his own adoration for Jungkook reflecting back at him there. He closes the gap and brushes his lips lightly over Jungkook’s before really pressing in. He keeps the kisses soft, exploring like they’ve never done this before and somehow it does seem new. Jungkook melts into it quickly, a hand back on Seokjin’s thigh, drifting higher but stopping short of touching the bulge in his slacks. After literal months of being edged, a few extra minutes shouldn’t be anything he can’t endure and yet they are; Seokjin covers Jungkook’s hand and pulls it a little higher, stopping when Jungkook freezes.
“Is this… okay?” Seokjin asks, about to pull back but Jungkook nods. “You’re sure? If you changed your mind that’s- that’s okay, you just need to tell-”
“I didn’t change my mind,” Jungkook confirms, “I’m just… nervous too.”
“That’s okay,” Seokjin assures him. “I can, ah, help, if you want.”
Jungkook nods again and Seokjin slides his hand up until it’s pressed against his dick and almost immediately Jungkook’s fingers curl, feeling the length of him. Seokjin hisses and Jungkook pulls back quickly.
“No, no it’s- it feels good. Sorry I’m really, um, worked up I guess,” Seokjin apologizes with a breathless laugh. It’s enough to relax Jungkook, his hand going back to cup Seokjin through his pants, rubbing carefully. “Fuck, it’s kind of stupid how much I’ve wanted this.”
“You said it’d been a while,” Jungkook recalls.
“Yeah, but,” Seokjin starts, humming when Jungkook squeezes, hips rocking up into it, “I mean how much I wanted you to do it.”
Jungkook tsks. “You should have said something.”
“I didn’t want to rush you,” Seokjin explains. “How are you at multitasking?”
“What?” Jungkook asks with a laugh.
“I wanna keep kissing you but I really don’t want you to stop doing that,” Seokjin says, laughing too.
“I think I can manage,” Jungkook huffs. “But could I maybe… get these out of the way?” he asks, plucking at Seokjin’s slacks.
“Yeah? Yeah. Yes, definitely, I can just-” Seokjin rushes out to Jungkook’s amusement. He struggles in his hurry to open his fly and Jungkook quickly slips his hand under the elastic of his underwear, fingers trailing over bare skin. “Fuck, that’s-”
“Wet,” Jungkook interrupts, finger lightly tapping the slit of his cock and Seokjin jolts.
“Fuck,” Seokjin repeats, nearly lunging forward to connect their lips. Jungkook does a decent job of keeping up with everything, only occasionally forgetting what his hand is doing when Seokjin starts kissing his neck or tugging his earlobe with his teeth.
Eventually Jungkook huffs in annoyance against Seokjin’s mouth, causing him to pull back, laughing in surprise. “What’s that about?”
“I don’t have enough room,” Jungkook complains.
“To…?”
“To work!” Jungkook exclaims, gesturing to Seokjin’s crotch. “Can these, like, come off?”
“Pretty sure they’re designed to,” Seokjin teases and Jungkook groans, tugging at the material. “Okay okay, hold on,” Seokjin grumbles, lifting his hips and sliding his pants and underwear far enough down his thighs to free his dick which admittedly feels a lot better once it’s not trapped in his clothes. Jungkook stares, blinking a few times but not moving or saying anything. “Um…”
“Sorry I-” Jungkook says, fighting to bring his eyes up to meet Seokjin’s. “I’ve never seen, um…”
“A dick before?” Seokjin jokes.
“Never, um, hard. Not in real life,” Jungkook confirms.
Seokjin can’t tell if he’s mesmerized or terrified. “Do you want me to put it away?”
“No!” Jungkook protests, gripping Seokjin’s wrist to keep him from moving.
“Well I don’t know! You’re just staring-”
“It’s just a lot-”
“It’s not that much, come on,” Seokjin grouses, noticing the amused shake of Jungkook’s shoulders. “Why are you laughing at me?”
“I’m not! I mean, I am, just-”
“Yah!”
“It’s a big dick, hyung. You know you have a big dick,” Jungkook scolds.
“I don’t-” Seokjin starts to argue but gasps instead when Jungkook wraps a hand around him.
“Look how small my hand looks,” Jungkook points out.
“Now you’re just making fun of me,” Seokjin mutters but it’s a struggle to pretend to be mad when Jungkook starts to experimentally stroke. He keeps his touch light for now which Seokjin appreciates since they haven’t busted out the lube yet, as horny as he is he doesn’t need friction burn.
“Is it okay?” Jungkook asks after a long stretch of silence and Seokjin realizes he’s been uncharacteristically quiet, eyes fixated on the languid movement of Jungkook’s fist.
“Yeah, it’s ah… feels good,” he manages, sounding far more out of breath than he should.
“The angle’s kinda weird,” Jungkook comments and Seokjin raises an eyebrow at him. “I mean, doing it from the side like this. I’m not used to that,” Jungkook explains with a small laugh.
“Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Seokjin agrees, honestly not caring how Jungkook wants to jerk him off as long as he doesn’t stop.
“Maybe if I…” Jungkook trails off, pulling his hand away and Seokjin resists the urge to yell in protest. He doesn’t have time anyway, eyes widening when Jungkook shifts to throw a leg over his lap and straddle him, scooting closer and taking a hold of Seokjin’s dick again, his fist nearly brushing his own crotch in the process. “Oh, yeah, that’s way better.”
“Fuck,” Seokjin mutters, hands coming up and hovering on either side of Jungkook’s hips, the position suggestive and making him feel even more desperate for this.
“Still okay?” Jungkook asks, earnestly looking right into Seokjin’s eyes and Seokjin lets his hands touch down on Jungkook’s hips.
He has to swallow down a moan that wants to break free so he can answer. “Um, yes.”
“You sure?” Jungkook asks, raising an eyebrow.
“It’s just, ah, this is incredibly sexy because I can imagine how you’d look if you were, you know, on top,” Seokjin manages, face flushing with the confession.
“On top?” Jungkook repeats, the pad of his thumb swirling around the shiny head of Seokjin’s dick.
“R-riding me,” Seokjin stutters out, his hands skimming down Jungkook’s thighs and back up.
“Oh, that kind of on top,” Jungkook murmurs and Seokjin’s about to apologize but then Jungkook starts to say, “We could-”
“One thing at a time,” Seokjin cautions, biting his lip to draw his focus, trying to maintain some semblance of control.
“We could though? Eventually?” Jungkook presses and it’s not like Seokjin would say no but he definitely isn’t going to now while Jungkook’s touching him. He doesn’t trust his voice this time so he nods, cupping Jungkook’s nape to draw him in to kiss him again.
Jungkook is a bit more coordinated in this position, able to keep up with Seokjin’s frantic kisses while tugging on his cock, even though he seems like he’s getting lost in it too. He whimpers against Seokjin’s lips, his hips rocking forward for friction and he ruts against his closed fist where it’s wrapped around Seokjin’s dick.
His kisses turn urgent and he squirms in Seokjin’s lap, needy but it’s clear he’s trying to delay his own gratification, which Seokjin guesses he can appreciate. But honestly he’d rather they do this together anyway, and not just because he selfishly wants to see Jungkook get off again. There’s an appeal to the closeness of it, less like they’re doing each other a favor and more like they’re both as invested in this as Seokjin knows he is.
“Hold on,” Seokjin says, breaking the kiss even though Jungkook whimpers at the loss. His lips are swollen and deep pink and he slides his tongue over them like he’s noticing that too. “What if we…” Seokjin starts, squeezing Jungkook through his pants. He’s rock hard and reflexively pushes into the contact, moaning, but then tries to slide his hips back.
“Wait, I was supposed to- this is about you,” Jungkook reminds him, pouting.
Seokjin shrugs easily, dipping his fingertips into the waistband of Jungkook’s sweats, his skin burning hot under Seokjin’s touch. “You can, just- I have an idea.” Jungkook’s sweatpants are baggy enough Seokjin can shove them down under his ass and under his balls with him still straddling his lap “Get the lube?”
Jungkook twists and leans back to retrieve the packet from the nearby table and Seokjin keeps his hands on his hips so he doesn’t get off-balance.
“Okay give me your hand,” Seokjin instructs and Jungkook does as he’s told, palm open between them. Seokjin empties the packet and tosses the empty plastic aside, gently taking Jungkook by the wrist so his handful of liquid doesn’t spill, and guides it down to his cock as he uses his free hand to press his own alongside it, wrapping Jungkook’s fingers around them both. “All right, now just-”
“Oh. Oh fuck,” Jungkook swears, grip tightening.
“Jungkook-ah?” Seokjin checks in, peering up at him. “Alright?”
“I don’t know,” Jungkook answers, eyes wide and locked on his hand.
“You don’t know?” Seokjin repeats, amused.
“My dick is touching your dick,” Jungkook says as if Seokjin wasn’t aware of the situation.
“Yes, I know,” Seokjin states and Jungkook looks up to glare at him.
“It’s really hot okay?” he huffs. “I don’t know if I can-”
“Sure you can,” Seokjin purrs, covering Jungkook’s hand with his own and slowly starting them moving. “Just like this, hmm?”
Jungkook’s focus is back in their laps, staring as their cockheads temporarily disappear in their combined grip before Seokjin slides their hands back down. “W-what if I come?”
Seokjin snorts. “That’s kind of the point.”
“I mean early,” Jungkook clarifies, shifting forward a few centimeters.
“Then it’ll be wetter,” Seokjin answers and Jungkook moans.
“Oh god,” he murmurs, finally taking over more of the actual pump action, leaning into the feeling.
“It already is, you’re leaking,” Seokjin tells him, voice low, and Jungkook whines. “You’re fucking sexy, god you look so good like this,” he continues just to hear Jungkook whimper, to feel him tremble in his lap. His hand speeds up even as he collapses forward, burying his face in Seokjin’s shoulder, hips jacking up into their grip. Seokjin can hear every sound so clearly, feel every breath against his skin, gasping when Jungkook holds their hands in place and fucks into the circle of their fingers, his cock sliding against Seokjin’s with each thrust.
“Hyung,” Jungkook moans, words muffled by his shirt.
“Doing so well, JK. This feels incredible,” Seokjin praises, his free hand settling on Jungkook’s lower back, warm and steady.
“’m gonna come, hyung, sorry I can’t-” Jungkook babbles feverishly, rhythm faltering.
“That’s it, go ahead and let go,” Seokjin encourages and Jungkook snaps, hips shoved as close as they can be, moaning as he spills between them over both their fingers where they’re tangled together.
He’s a hiccuping wreck as he works himself through it, Seokjin moving their hands as best he can with how closely they’re pressed together now. Jungkook jolts from the aftershocks so Seokjin pulls his hand away to try to settle him but Jungkook keeps rutting into his loose grip around them, dragging the slick head of his cock over Seokjin’s like he can’t get enough.
“Easy baby,” Seokjin coos and another bead of come leaks out of Jungkook's slit.
“Hyung I want- I wanna see you,” Jungkook slurs, sitting up as best he can, letting go of them both to re-grip Seokjin’s dick. “Please.”
“Like this then,” Seokjin tells him, putting his hand over Jungkook’s again and focusing on short, fast strokes up by the head.
“It’s okay?” Jungkook asks, eyes flitting between Seokjin’s face and what he’s doing.
Seokjin feels dizzy with arousal, the extra wet slide of their hands from Jungkook’s release overwhelmingly messy and filthy and perfect. “Y-yeah, just don’t stop,” Seokjin begs, and he knows he sounds desperate but he doesn’t care. He lets his hand drop so he can grip the cushion under him, his hips lifting as his muscles tense, so close to tipping over the edge. It feels like every molecule in his body is rearranging as he starts to come, letting out a breathy moan when he sees the way Jungkook is looking between them, his eyes wide and his bottom lip trapped by his teeth. Seokjin follows his gaze and watches as another dribble of come squeezes out of Jungkook’s slit.
Seokjin grabs him by the hips, pulling him close again so they’re pressed together, Jungkook’s arm trapped between them but he doesn’t seem bothered by it. Seokjin tilts his face up to connect their lips and Jungkook meets him in the middle, kissing back hungrily even though he’s obviously a little wrung out, wrapping his arms around Seokjin’s shoulders for support.
Everything’s messy, Seokjin’s aware Jungkook’s probably smearing come and lube all over his lab coat and things are even more disastrous lower down but he doesn’t really mind. It’s kind of nice to be messy like this, let things happen without worrying so much. His feelings are messy too, something he’s been trying hard to prevent, but right now with no space between them he finds he doesn’t mind that so much either.
Their kisses slow into something lazy and sweet, Jungkook eventually pulling away just so he can fall completely forward, Seokjin taking his weight as Jungkook nuzzles his nose against his clavicle and lets out a sleepy sigh.
“Need another nap?” Seokjin asks, hand petting over Jungkook’s back.
“Maybe an intervention,” Jungkook mumbles and Seokjin laughs.
“An intervention?” he repeats and when Jungkook sits back up he’s smiling. Without thinking, Seokjin reaches out to brush his hair off his forehead.
“I think I liked that too much,” Jungkook explains, “and I won’t want to stop.”
Seokjin feels oddly courageous in this moment, only hesitating for a millisecond before saying, “Who says you have to?”
“Oh… yeah?” Jungkook asks hopefully. “I don’t?”
“I’d prefer it if you didn’t,” Seokjin confirms, kissing him gently again.
“Are you hungry?” Jungkook suddenly asks and Seokjin chuckles.
“What?”
“Do you wanna grab dinner? I know a place nearby,” Jungkook clarifies.
“It’s not even noon,” Seokjin points out and Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“Lunch then. Brunch. Whatever, I don’t care what we call it,” Jungkook says.
“I just need to… catch my breath,” Seokjin replies. “And clean up somehow.”
“But after that, yes?” Jungkook presses, letting Seokjin manhandle him off his lap so he can stand and survey the damage. Both of their clothes are wrecked, there’s no way around it, and the couch is a bit damp but considering its intended purpose it should be an easy wipe down.
“I could eat,” Seokjin agrees, waddling with his pants around his knees to the closet. “I think there might be spare scrubs in here we can use…”
He hears the sink running as he rummages through the linens, finding mismatched scrub tops and bottoms in sizes he thinks they might be able to use, turning to find Jungkook naked and doing his best to clean up with a washcloth. It’s completely bizarre that while Seokjin finds it pretty hot since there’s no denying Jungkook looks incredible without clothes on, there’s another competing sensation that vies for top spot, the fondness of unfounded familiarity.
Jungkook sighs, looking a bit dismayed but is satisfied enough with what he’s been able to accomplish without a proper shower. He takes the clothes Seokjin hands to him, investigating the material. “Well, this is gonna be fun without underwear.”
“Just don’t get a boner,” Seokjin suggests and Jungkook snorts.
“Maybe I should rescind my lunch invitation, that’s a big ask when I’m around you,” Jungkook says with an over the top wink.
“Stop,” Seokjin warns but he can’t keep from smiling. He strips off his clothes as well, grabbing a fresh cloth and attempting to make himself at least partially presentable. As he pulls on his scrub pants, lost in happy thoughts, he suddenly freezes. “Wait, is this a date?”
Jungkook hesitates for long enough that Seokjin turns to make sure he hasn’t left the room but he’s there, glancing up at Seokjin nervously. “Um, maybe?”
“What does ‘maybe’ mean?” Seokjin presses, narrowing his eyes.
“Do you want it to be a date? Would you still say yes if I said it was a date?” Jungkook replies, fidgeting with the tie on his pants.
“Yes,” Seokjin answers easily.
“Okay but would you say yes if it wasn’t a date?” Jungkook follows up, frowning.
“I mean, yeah, but with less enthusiasm,” Seokjin affirms, tugging the scrub top over his head.
Jungkook’s laugh is relieved and a little bit dorky, Seokjin has to admit, but he also has to admit he thinks it’s really cute. “Then it’s a date.”
~
Considering how well lunch went, Seokjin’s a little rattled when Jungkook doesn’t return the next week on Tuesday. Certainly things are different between them but it felt like it was good different and Jungkook’s unexpected absence is jarring. He should have asked for Jungkook’s number, he’s not sure why he chickened out at the last second after their date when he had been intending to ask.
Maybe it’s for the best, not having his number will keep him from texting and seeming too needy even though he definitely feels pretty needy. He tries to keep himself distracted for the remainder of his shift and the entirety of his evening but it’s a challenge when he has Jungkook’s clean laundry on his table (he’d offered to take care of their dirty clothes) and that magazine still on his nightstand.
For literal months he let himself get entangled in this and it’ll be difficult to extract himself without a scratch, and he doesn’t really want to anyway. He repeats a mantra of optimism as he gets ready for bed and while he tries to fall asleep.
By the time he makes it to the subway station the next morning, the minimal effects of his positive thinking have worn thin and then they’re completely worn off during his walk to the clinic. As he’s unlocking the door and dreading returning to what he now considers the scene of a crime against his heart, the key sticks as it tends to do when the weather starts to get really cold, just adding to his frustration.
“Come on,” he grumbles, jiggling it in the lock, then suddenly there are hands on his shoulders and he shrieks right as the bolt turns and he staggers forward into the dark waiting room.
“There’s no money here!” Seokjin quickly blurts, putting his hands up. “It’s- it’s not that kind of bank.” Eruptive laughter has him turning to find Jungkook doubled over clutching his stomach. “Jungkook-ah?”
“Now that was funny, hyung,” Jungkook manages through giggles, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.
“You scared the hell out of me!” Seokjin shouts.
“I’m sorry, I just- I wanted to get here before anyone else,” Jungkook says, taking a cautious step closer.
“You didn’t come by yesterday, I thought maybe you were done, ah, donating,” Seokjin mumbles, looking away. He’s trying not to seem too upset about it, he should play it cool and confident.
“I am,” Jungkook confirms and Seokjin’s head snaps up.
“Oh,” he manages, fighting to maintain a neutral expression but he must be failing because Jungkook quickly jumps in.
“Nonono, not- I mean I’m done actually donating,” he tries to clarify.
“Okaaay?” Seokjin draws out, not entirely sure what he’s getting at.
“So you know, I’d like to see you… outside of here. More than just Tuesday and Thursday,” Jungkook adds, looking shy.
“Oh?” Seokjin hums hopefully, taking his own step forward. “Like when?”
“Like… Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday-”
Seokjin chuckles. “Whoa, slow down-”
“-Saturday, Sunday…” Jungkook finishes.
“Wow, seven days a week?” Seokjin teases, tugging on the sides of Jungkook’s jacket playfully.
“Yeah, if that’s okay with you,” Jungkook confirms and Seokjin nods, leaning in to close the gap and kiss him but Jungkook pulls back. “Cool, I’m glad that’s settled. So, can I go to my room?” he asks, glancing down the still-dark hallway.
“I thought you said you were done donating?” Seokjin reminds him.
Jungkook heads for the first suite anyway, turning and walking backwards, smiling brightly at Seokjin as he starts dropping his clothes on the way. “For old time’s sake.”