Chapter Text
Ace chugs on her water bottle, sweat dripping from her temple down to her neck. Their volleyball practice had just ended and the evening had fallen. Their teammates take a short rest by the bleachers before scattering to the nearby comfort room to change, leaving the two close friends behind.
“Kain tayo sa labas?” Myka suggests as she wipes her sweat with a towel. She watches Ace take her phone from her bag to check for new notifications.
It has been a routine for the two to hang out after practice. Their friendship has grown over the past year, being in the same university together and taking the same course. They also decided to join the women’s volleyball varsity together, continuing the path they had taken back in high school.
“Hm? Sandali.” Ace’s phone vibrates in the middle of their conversation, indicating a new message. She swipes to open it. When Myka notices Ace's expression turn bright, she immediately knows from whom it is. “Si Jana,” Ace tells her with a vibrant smile then shows her phone screen to Myka.
Jana had sent Ace a selfie, a cute tight-lipped smile on her face, and a familiar building entrance in the background.
“Nandito pala siya,” Ace’s smile stays on her face as she taps on her phone to initiate an outgoing call. She brings her phone to her ear. “Hello, Jana?”
Myka continues to pack her belongings, a shirt slung over her shoulder, ready to change.
“Oo, sandali ha? Magbibihis muna kami tas lalabas na agad ako. Okay. See you. Hehe,” Ace ends the call and nods at Myka. “Tara?”
They walk together to the comfort room to change clothes.
“Sorry, pass muna ako tonight, Myks. Nandito si Jana eh.”
And Myka totally understands. It is rare for Jana to visit their school on a weekday. She has endlessly heard Ace’s rants and complaints about the struggles of their relationship, realizing it is hard to maintain a happy one when both of them are attending different schools and living in separate cities.
So, she is happy for her friend.
Well, she tries to be happy.
“Ano ba? Okay lang! Ang bihira kaya bumisita ni Jana.”
After changing into fresh clothes, they walk out of the school gates together and Myka watches Jana greet Ace excitedly with a hug, her arms wrapping around the taller girl’s neck and giving her girlfriend a quick peck on the lips.
“Na-miss kita,” Myka hears Jana say.
“Ako rin,” Ace giggles before giving Jana a short kiss on her temple.
“Mauna muna ako Ace ah?” Myka smiles at them before turning to leave.
“Sige, Myks. Ingat!”
“Bye, Myka,” Jana says before turning to her girlfriend to give her another hug and speaking to her in hushed whispers.
They walk their separate ways.
—
Myka slings her gym bag back on her shoulder. It feels heavier the longer she walks on the sidewalk. The weight of her backpack doesn’t help. Her phone vibrates and she opens it to see a new message from Patty.
From: Gabby Patty 🦀
Uy nakisabay ako kay Jana sa univ niyo. Kain tayo?
From: Gabby Patty 🦀
San ka? Nasa 7/11 lang ako. Malapit sa school mo.
Myka feels lighter reading the older girl’s messages.
To: Gabby Patty 🦀
Ge! Kita tayo diyan :))
Patty and Jana attend the same prestigious university in Manila together. And although Myka and Patty don't hang out as much anymore, they'd easily fall back into old habits whenever they are within the same space - as if nothing had changed, as if they are still in high school.
When Myka reaches the nearest convenience store, they greet each other with a hug. Myka has missed Patty. It always feels comfortable, easy, and safe with her.
“Ba’t ka ba napadpad dito?” Myka asks as she pulls out one of the cup noodles from the shelf.
“Wala lang. Feel ko lang bumisita ng isang random 7/11 an hour away from where I live,” Patty deadpans as she scans through the products of the store.
Myka rolls her eyes and laughs at Patty’s sarcasm.
“‘Di ba pwede na miss ko lang ang bestie ko and decided to give her a visit?” Patty flashes a smile at her, batting her lashes cutely.
“Char. Ang sweet naman,” Myka says before walking towards the cashier to pay for her food, Patty following suit.
“Ako pa.”
Patty doesn’t take long to notice Myka’s sullen expression when they settle by the table near the store's window.
“Huy,” she pokes her nose. “Anyare?”
“Wala.”
Patty can tell Myka is lying. She is avoiding eye contact, staring down at her food.
“Si Ace ba?”
Myka doesn’t answer, signifying a yes.
“Ano ba, Myka. It’s been what? More than 2 years? May girlfriend na yung tao, girl. Get up.”
“Tingin mo ba nae-enjoy ko ‘to?” Myka swirls the noodles with her fork. “I've been trying to get rid of these feelings since the day she and Jana got together.”
“Then try harder! Sa dinami-rami ng tao sa campus niyo, wala ba talagang bago?”
“May mga cute naman,” Myka tries to recall.
“Edi dun ka na. You deserve someone who sees you, you know?” Patty pauses her munching to look over at her friend, “Someone naaa… ‘di mapapagod sa mukhang ‘yan.” She points and chuckles at Myka’s pout.
Myka playfully glares at her.
“Sayang naman pagka-greenflag mo if dun ka sa ‘di makakakita ng worth mo,” Patty says nonchalantly and shrugs.
Myka smiles at Patty, heart feeling warmer. She sighs and leans towards her shoulder, “Na-miss kita, Gabby.” Myka doesn’t see the red tinge that blossoms Patty’s cheeks when she does so.
—
Ace drops her bags on her bedroom floor and slumps on her bed, feeling tired but, at the same time, her heart full. Her phone vibrates to notify her of a new message.
From: Aking Jana 🤍
Jgh safe, mahal! See you again next week <3
To: Aking Jana 🤍
Hehe, pwede ba tomorrow na? 🥹
From: Aking Jana 🤍
:( gusto ko din sana eh kaso busy talaga ako the following days
To: Aking Jana 🤍
Okay po 😎
From: Aking Jana 🤍
Patingin nga walang glasses 😂
To: Aking Jana 🤍
🥺🕶️
To: Aking Jana 🤍
Miss na kita agad ☹️💔
From: Aking Jana 🤍
Hahahahahaynakooo. Ang cute mo, love.
To: Aking Jana 🤍
Hehe. Pwede pa send nung pictures natin?
From: Aking Jana 🤍
Sure, waittt
From: Aking Jana 🤍
[Attached Images]
Ace scrolls through their photos together one by one. They were at a Japanese restaurant during dinner, satisfying their ramen cravings. The first photo was of Ace who was too busy opening her chopsticks to notice the camera on her. Ace swipes further to see a series of their selfies together with cute and wacky expressions, one of them is a candid of Jana laughing at her while Ace smiles at the camera. The last photo of the set is of Jana holding up her chopsticks with her nose scrunched cutely.
Ace saves the last photo and taps on Instagram. But before she can post a story, she receives an incoming video call from Jana.
“Hi, mahal,” Jana greets then places her phone on her table.
Ace immediately notices that Jana looks like she is about to leave, instead of settling in her bed. “Aalis ka ba?” Ace asks.
“Oo. Kaya nga ako tumawag kasi nagmamadali ako. Ininvite kasi ako ng teammates ko tonight. Drink out kami,” Jana says nonchalantly, checking her purse to see if she is missing something, as if it isn’t almost one in the morning.
“Ang late na, ah?”
“Ano kasi, babe, ang hirap kasi maghanap ng oras to hang out with them. Weekend naman tomorrow at na-miss ko na rin mag-inom.”
“Edi sana nag-inom nalang tayo kanina,” Ace says, starting to feel irritated.
“Alam ko naman may practice ka pa tomorrow. Tsaka, it won’t take long naman,” Jana says but Ace knows it’s a lie. “‘Di ba you’ve always told me to have fun-fun lang?”
Ace sighs in frustration but stretches her patience, “May limits naman kasi niyan, mahal. Nakakatakot kasi ang late na. ‘Tas iinom pa kayong lahat. Baka may mangyari pa sa’yo pag-uwi mo. Wala pa naman ako diyan para bantayan ka.”
“I can look after myself naman, mahal.”
“I know pero,” Ace sighs, “‘Di ko mapigilan mag-alala.”
“Wala naman kailangang alalahanin, love. Patty will be there. I-uupdate rin naman kita. And not all of us are drinking naman,” Jana says then pauses, realizing what she had implied.
Ace nods then scoffs. They both know there is only one person in Jana’s volleyball team who doesn’t drink. “Ano? Siya hahatid sa’yo pauwi?”
“Ano ba, Ace?” Jana starts, tired and annoyed. “Pwede bang tama na yang Arnie Arnie na ‘yan? Friends lang naman talaga kami. Alam mo na ‘yon. Whatever happened before will stay in the past. Pinuntahan na nga kita diyan-” Jana stops herself and slowly inhales, composing herself before she could blurt out anything she might regret.
Ace keeps a straight face, not showing any ache she feels in her heart. “Okay,” she says simply. “Okay, enjoy.” Ace taps the red button on her screen and hangs up.
The video call ends and her room suddenly feels awfully quiet and empty, her phone being the only thing lighting up her room.
It is amusing how fast the night changed, how two people can easily be filled with disdain even after spending a really good time together just a few hours ago.
Ace isn’t surprised though. This isn’t the first time this has happened. Their fights are happening more frequently these past few weeks, the distance between them not helping at all. It is slowly becoming extremely difficult for Ace to balance her studies, volleyball, and her relationship with Jana.
Especially her relationship with Jana.
She isn’t good at handling her own emotions and doesn't know how to deal with the negative ones. She buries them inside her instead.
Ace realizes where she left off: her pending Instagram story. The photo of Jana scrunching her nose fills her screen, ready to be posted on Instagram and only missing a caption. Ace looks at her screen for a moment before her vision starts to blur. Realizing she is about to cry, she takes a deep breath and taps on the X button instead, discarding the story. She clicks her phone locked, places it on her bedside table, and falls asleep with a heavy heart.
Ace wakes up to a few messages from Jana the next morning.
From: Aking Jana 🤍
I’m sorry, love.
From: Aking Jana 🤍
You were right. It was late at night na. Hindi nalang ako pumunta. Sorry I upset you.
From: Aking Jana 🤍
I love youuu. And only you. 🙁
Ace reads the messages again and again.
She feels like they are going in circles.
She types in a response anyway.
To: Aking Jana 🤍
It’s okay po. I love you too.
Jana’s reply comes in an instant.
From: Aking Jana 🤍
😾
To: Aking Jana 🤍
Hahaha bakit?
From: Aking Jana 🤍
Stop with the ‘po’ 😾
To: Aking Jana 🤍
Hehe sorry, mahal. Enjoy ka today. Love you. I’m sorry din.
From: Aking Jana 🤍
Love you too 🥰
—
The weekend arrives the following day. After volleyball practice, Ace and Myka decide to head to the nearest mall to unwind. They are eating dinner together at the food court when Myka starts the topic.
“Kumusta kagabi?” Myka asks as she takes a bite of her food.
“Ah, kami ni Jana?” Ace takes a moment to think, unsure of which part of the night she should share. “Saks lang. Nag-enjoy kami at first pero… ‘di ko na alam.” She shrugs.
Myka looks at her friend with a brow raised, curious about what she means.
“Parang lagi nalang kami nag-aaway even over the smallest things.”
Myka internally cringes at herself when she feels even the slightest bit of hope in her heart. She hates that she feels this way when she knows her friend is going through a rough time. She wants her to be happy, she really does, Myka tries to convince herself.
“So, ‘di kayo okay?”
“Okay naman. Nag-sorry naman siya. Ewan. Minsan nakakapagod na,” Ace confesses with her head low, feeling guilty for being tired of her relationship.
“Baka kulang lang kayo ng bebe time,” Myka tells her with a small smile and Ace chuckles in response. “Sinamahan pala ni Patty si Jana kagabi kaya nagkita kami.”
“Talaga ba? Sayang ‘di kami nagkita ni Pat.”
“Okay lang, may next time pa rin naman,” Myka says then looks up to see Ace giving her a teasing smile. “Ano?” Myka asks, confused.
“May something ba kayo?”
“Huh? Wala ‘no! Ba’t mo naman naisip ‘yon?”
“Kala ko talaga since high school eh. Iba kasi tinginan niyo.”
“Tinginan?” Myka looks at Ace weirdly.
“Parang may… yearning,” Ace waggles her brows teasingly at her.
“Baliw! Friends lang kami no?!” Myka’s quick to say. She has never imagined Patty as a partner, never considered it. Not that it’s a bad thought, but she quickly shakes the idea away.
They proceed to Timezone after eating. Ace, of course, walks to the hoops first and swipes her card. Myka follows.
Ace consistently scores shot after shot and she laughs when she sees Myka struggle to score even more than five.
“‘Wag ka ngang tawa nang tawa diyan! Basketball is not for me talaga,” Myka rolls her eyes, regretting wasting her credits on the game.
“Ganito lang ‘yan, oh,” Ace starts holding her ball up, showing her friend the correct arm position in shooting the ball. “Tapos,” Ace shoots another point.
Myka tries to follow Ace’s hand position and shoots. It misses the hoop by an inch, bouncing off. “I give up,” Myka groans.
Ace laughs once more, “Okay lang ‘yan. Practice makes perfect. ‘Di rin nga ni Jana nakuha at first pero natutunan din niya.”
Myka nods and fakes a chuckle, “Dun na nga tayo sa iba.”
They walk to another game and before Myka can swipe her card, Ace beats her to it. “Ako na. Hindi mo naman na enjoy mag-basket,” she laughs.
Myka tries to ignore the skip of her heartbeat at the simple but considerate gesture.
The two enjoy each other’s company, spending all their credits. When they walk back to the counter where all the prizes are, Ace takes a phone call in the middle of choosing an item.
“Hello?"
Myka gives the staff who is waiting for them a short smile as an apology, waiting for Ace to finish her call.
“Ano?! Si Jana?”
Myka looks at Ace, concerned.
“Okay, sige. Punta ako diyan,” Ace ends the call then faces Myka. “Sorry, Myks, alis muna ako. Si Jana kasi. Pupuntahan ko siya.” She hands her friend her card, “Ikaw nalang magpili ng prize. Sa’yo na ‘yan. Bawi ako next time, promise.”
Myka watches Ace exit the arcade, leaving her alone in the crowded room.
—
Ace finally arrives at the location given to her by Patty. “Sorry talaga, Ace,” her text reads, explaining that she’s at a family event.
Jana had informed Ace of her whereabouts hours ago, telling her they were just going out for a quick drink. Knowing Jana, Ace didn’t expect her to abuse her alcohol tolerance and get wasted. Jana knew better than that.
Ace runs her hand through her hair in frustration and quickens her pace. She can already hear the music boosting through the speakers just a few meters away. When she enters the open-aired drinking place, it doesn’t take her long to spot Jana and her teammates.
Jana’s hair is sprawled all over the table, her head bent down on it. Two of her teammates are busy having a drunken conversation beside her while one of them, Arnie, is right beside her holding a glass of water for Jana to drink.
Ace’s heart drops at the sight and a budding anger starts to fill her chest. Nevertheless, she composes herself and walks to their table.
“Ace,” Arnie says, standing up and giving way for Ace to sit beside her girlfriend. Jana’s other friends greet her drunkenly.
Ace only nods in greeting before turning to her girlfriend. “Jana, okay ka lang?” she asks quietly, sliding an arm on Jana’s back to check on her. She ignores the thrumming beating through her chest.
“Kanina ka pa niya hinahanap,” Arnie says as she occupies the chair across them, placing the glass of water on the table.
Ace sits still as she listens to Arnie explain why she received the call in the first place.
“Ayaw niya raw umuwi kung wala ka.”
“Hm?” Jana groans then realizes who is beside her. “Ace? Anong ginagawa mo dito?”
“Jana, hatid na kita sa apartment mo,” Ace says.
“Gusto niyo ba ng ride? I-uuwi ko na rin sila eh,” Arnie suggests and points to their other friends.
—
The car ride is quiet. Jana’s drunk friends both fell asleep, one in the passenger seat and the other beside them in the back. Arnie turns on some low music to fill the silence.
“Sorry, Ace,” Jana croaks, head throbbing in pain as it rests on her girlfriend’s shoulder while Ace’s arm wraps around her waist. “Sorry naabala pa kita.”
Ace remains silent as she always does whenever she is filled with anger and disappointment, the thought of Arnie taking care of Jana ingrained in the back of her mind.
When they reach Jana’s apartment, Ace thanks Arnie and assists her girlfriend inside her room. Jana’s head is still spinning and aching when she sits on her bed, but she is already more aware of her surroundings than she was a while ago.
Ace is quiet as she fetches Jana a glass of water and a couple of pain relievers for the next morning. After a while, she occupies the space next to Jana, handing her the glass of water before helping her out of her shoes. Ace then takes a seat beside Jana with a tired sigh.
“Galit ka ba?” Jana asks softly after downing a mouthful of water, looking up at her imploringly. Ace’s eyes look empty and tired.
Ace breaks eye contact, not wanting Jana to see through her, that she is almost at her limit. Instead, she brings a hand to Jana’s hair and says, “Magbihis ka na para makapag-pahinga ka.”
Ace waits for Jana to finish changing and washing up. She checks on the time: 1:33 A.M .
Once she’s done, she sits beside Ace and then wraps her arms around her waist, burying her face in the crook of the taller girl’s neck. “Stay the night?” Jana whispers, snuggling into Ace.
Ace ignores her girlfriend’s request and instead asks with an annoyed tone, “Ba’t ba hindi mo maiwasan ang pag-inom?”
Jana is confused at the sudden change of mood and pulls away, hurt that this is the response she gets after giving affection. “Ha?”
Ace’s brows are already furrowed when they face each other. “Alam mo naman na low ang tolerance mo. Ba’t inom ka pa nang inom?”
Jana scoffs in disbelief. “Sorry, ha. Na na-miss ko ang girlfriend ko. Na hindi ako natuwa sa last na pag-uusap namin kagabi kaya I needed something to make me feel better,” she says sarcastically.
Ace’s jaw clenches. “O? Tapos? Gumaan ba pakiramdam mo?”
A frown starts to form on Jana's face and her mouth shakes a little as she pouts, signifying that she's about to cry, one which Ace would normally give into. But Ace has reached her breaking point.
“Pwede mo naman ako tawagan para mapag-usapan natin ng maayos,” Ace says exasperatedly.
Jana tries to hold back her tears. She then weakly asks, “Away pa rin ba tayo tonight?”
Ace looks away, can’t bear to see the hurt in Jana’s eyes. She doesn’t answer the question but instead, informs her while standing up, “Sasamahan ko pa si Mama bukas pumunta ng Baclaran.”
Jana takes Ace’s hand, stopping her from turning around to leave. “Please, Ace?”
Ace doesn’t budge from where she stands, head still turned away from her girlfriend’s pleading eyes.
Jana isn’t sure what ignited her own anger so quickly. She carelessly lets go of Ace's hand and says, annoyed, "Sabihin mo nalang if ayaw mo nang kasama ako.”
“Can’t you understand me for once, Jana?” Ace asks, annoyed and in disbelief.
Jana ignores the question. Instead, she challenges, "Sige. Pag lumabas ka sa kwartong ‘to, tapos na tayo."
Ace can’t believe what she is hearing. She runs a hand through her hair in frustration. “Seryoso ka ba?”
Jana’s eyes burn with anger and pride, intent on standing her ground knowing full well Ace will simply acquiesce; to apologize and tell her she’s staying the night. Ace always does.
But Jana soon finds out that Ace is no longer the same girl back in high school when the taller girl replies with a simple, “Okay.”
Jana watches Ace turn around and sling her bag on her shoulder, slamming the door behind her with finality.
She’s left alone in her apartment, her jaw clenched in defeat as her tears finally welled over and trickled down her cheeks.
—
Three days have passed since their break up. Ace is back to shooting hoops during the evenings, replacing the normal routine she had with Jana every night. Neither of them initiated phone calls, video calls, or even texts.
Tonight, Myka decides to keep her friend company after hearing about what happened between Ace and Jana. After eating dinner together at Ace’s home, the two of them chill at the neighborhood’s basketball court. Myka sits on a bench nearby while Ace, still as sullen as the day she last saw Jana, misses every shot she attempts.
Exhausted, Ace sits beside Myka and lazily dribbles the ball while her friend watches her, the cold evening breeze adding to the gloomy atmosphere.
Myka hesitantly asks, “Nag-usap na ba kayo?”
Ace shakes her head slowly and continues dribbling.
Silence engulfs them.
“Why don’t you try calling her? Malay mo naghihintay lang siya sa’yo.”
“Baka hindi. Baka ayaw na niya sa’kin,” Ace says with her head low.
“Pero what if hindi? Edi sayang lahat ng pinagsamahan niyo,” Myka adds. “Ang cute-cute niyo pa naman. You always knew how to calm her down and she always knew how to make you smile.”
Ace catches the ball and places it on her knees this time. Myka doesn’t see the tears starting to brim in Ace’s eyes. Ace bites her lower lip, fighting the tears that are threatening to fall. “Don’t say that,” she says weakly.
“Huh?”
“Ma-mimiss ko siya,” Ace's voice cracks. The memories she had with Jana fill her thoughts: Jana’s smile, her giggles, how gentle she was with her, how she took care of her. The basketball court didn’t help. It reminded her of prom night with Jana, when they shared their first dance and their first kiss together.
‘ Sinong aawayin ko? ’ Jana’s cute voice echoes in the back of her mind, causing a tear to roll down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away with the back of her hand.
“Aww, Ace,” Myka coos, feeling bad for contributing to Ace’s heartache. She pulls her friend in for a hug to comfort her, running a soothing hand on her back and Ace lets Myka hold her. She releases all the tears she had been holding back since the night she left Jana’s apartment.
Unbeknownst to them, Jana is watching them from a distance, her gaze locked on the arms wrapped around Ace. Her grip on the plastic bag tightens, and after a torturous stretch of silence, she turns on her feet, leaving the scene in hurried strides.