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Soap is sitting next to Ghost on the Heli as they fly back to base. The 141 was out on a training mission, to get used to some new equipment that they recently got. Soap has Ghost hand on his lap, playing with his fingers as his foot taps against the floor. Every now and the Ghosts hand disappears from his grip as he talks to Price, but it's not even a few seconds before it's back again.
"We're here, hold on for landing." The pilot says.
Ghosts hand moves away from his again, grabbing onto the straps by his sides. Soap grabs onto his straps and waits for the Heli to land. The Heli lands and they strap themselves out and exit, Soap glued to Ghosts side.
"Good work everyone. I need a report on your thoughts about the new equipment. By tomorrow morning, got it?" Price says as they stand next to the Heli.
"I like these comms. It's much clearer, can actually hear who's talking from the first word." Soap says, tapping his throat mic, Gaz nodding by his side.
"Glad to hear it." Price smiles.
They make their way towards the base entrance, talking more about the the new equipment.
"Who's that?" Gaz asks, pointing towards two people standing close to the gates.
Price turns and looks towards them, smile spreading on his face as he looks down at his watch.
"They're early." Price smiles.
"Who?" Ghost asks, stopping when Soap freezes by his side.
What are they doing here?
The two unknown visitors make their way towards the 141. Gaz stops next to Soap and Ghost as Price walks towards the visitors, hand extending in greeting.
"Welcome! Didn't think you'd be here so early." Price says, shaking their hands.
A man and a woman, they look so familiar, or no Soap looks so much like them. Gaz turns to look at Soap smile spread on his face.
"Your parents man! You talk so much about them." Gaz laughs.
"Go say hi Johnny, you just said how you miss them." Ghost says, trying to nudge him forward.
No, no, no. Why are they here? This is my place. My safe space.
Soap stands there, unmoving, eyes staring at his fathers face. Price turns and the three of them make their way to the rest of the men.
Please no, go away. Go away, go away, go away!
"Soap?" Price calls.
Soap looks towards Price, worry clear on his face. Soap looks back towards his father, anger clear on his face.
"Sir." Soap croaks out.
"No need to be formal." Price says, face crinkling as he frowns.
Soap continues looking at his father, hands shaking as he stares back.
"Not going to say anything to your mother? To good for us now that you're a soldier." Soaps father sneers.
"Sorry Sir. Mother, nice to see you again." Soap replies automatically, no emotion in his voice.
Soap sees, out the corner of his eye, as the rest of the 141 steps aside, giving them space.
No please don't go away.
Soap's father bends down, making a show of tying his shoe, but Soap knows better. He knows better, but he can't do anything.
"You know boy," Soaps father begins as he stands back up, "getting a call, asking to come and visit our son, some special occasion. To come congratulate the soldier you've become. It makes me sick. It makes me sick seeing you glued to that man behind you. I hoped the Military would beat you straight, because God knows I couldn't. You make me sick, pretending to be such a big man, not even calling your own mother. Soldier means nothing, you're just a pathetic boy playing dress up."
Soap stands there, words clouding his mind, he sees his mother sneer next to his father. His father face is red, veins popping from his neck.
"You'll never be anything. You're wasting your life playing around like this." His father shouts, pulling his hand away to throw the rock Soap knew he picked up earlier.
He doesn't react when it hits his head, just above his eye. It hurts, it hurts so much, but he can't care. He can't care when his mother smiles as blood clouds his eyes vision, as his father lets out a laugh. He looks down, watching as the blood drips onto the dirt.
Drip, drip, drip, drip.
A small puddle forms, the cut is deep, he can feel it. He must have thrown a sharp rock. He wanted to do damage. Soap blinks to clear the blood from his vision. When he opens his eyes again, he's looking down at his feet moving on the tiled floor.
Blue, white, black, blue, white, black, blue, white, black.
After a few seconds the tiles blur too much and he closes his eyes again. Someone taps his cheek and he opens his eyes again, one eye sticking shut. That's weird. It blurs in front of him, so much it makes him sick. Something is pressed in his hands, just in time for him to empty his stomach. He looks down into the thing. A bin. It's a bin, looks like the one in his room. I want to go to bed.
He looks up and the bin, just like the blur from earlier, is gone. Soap sits there, he doesn't know for how long, it feels like seconds, but also a lifetime. The blur is back, two others joining this time, or where they there before?
Something cold is placed in his hands and he looks down, then its gone. He looks up and feeling something cold on his face. He sighs, it feels nice, he's so hot.
"That's it Johnny." He hears, so familiar, yet so strange.
The cool sensation moves over his face, over his neck and it's back in his hands.
"Come back Soap."
Soap focuses on the familiar voices. His head hurts, it hurts so much, but the cold is making it feel better.
"Good son, focus on us."
I'm trying. It hurts.
The hands cooling him continue, wiping over heated skin, voices continue talking. Soap looks up towards them, blond hair making him focus.
"You see me?"
Soap stares, trying to make himself remember. He knows this person, he loves them. He turns and sees the others, he knows them too. He cares for all of them. He should just remember who they are.
"That's okay Johnny. Just listen to us."
Soap looks back focusing on the blond hair. The way its flat against their head. Like they wore a hat or a mask.
The mask.
"That's right, remember."
Soap looks at their eyes, the whisky brown makes his heart clench. The crooked nose makes him want to smile and the thin scared lips makes his next breath easier.
"Simon." He croaks out.
"There you go love. You back with us." Ghost smiles.
"Yeah." Soap sighs, looking around him.
Gaz and Price are standing on both sides of Ghost. Price has a cloth in his and and Gaz a med-kit.
"Did someone get hurt?" Soap asks.
Gaz tilts his head in question. Soap nods to the med-kit in his hand and looks into his eyes again. He can't see any injuries on anyone.
"We're good man." Gaz says, voice strained.
"Okay." Soap says nodding, head throbbing as he moves.
He closes his eyes, letting out a small groan at the pain.
"I'm hurt?" Soap asks, he knows, why else would he be in pain.
He just can't remember why it hurts. He opens his eyes and looks towards Ghost.
"Yes Johnny, got another trophy." Ghost says, giving him a strained smile.
"Can't remember." Soap mumbles.
"It's better for now. Gaz stitched you up, gonna heal up nicely."
"Thanks Gaz." Soap says, looking towards him.
"It's nothing man. Gotta make that ugly mug worth looking at." Gaz jokes, it's strained, like he's trying to lift the mood.
Soap lets out a small laugh. He looks towards Price, he hasn't said anything yet. He isn't looking him in the eyes, avoiding Soaps as he tries to look at them.
"Did I do something wrong?" Soap asks carefully.
"No son. You didn't do anything." Price sighs.
"You won't look at me. What did I do?" Soap asks.
"You didn't do anything. You got hurt because of me." Price says, face crumbling.
"What? I don't believe you, what happened?" Soap demands, head throbbing as he sits up.
Price looks towards Ghost. Ghost nods, patting Price on the shoulder.
"I wanted to surprise you. Wanted to make a big thing, big party. You are under consideration for a promotion, should just get the forms signed and sent. I called your parents, you always rave about them, thought it would make it special."
"My parents?"
Soap stares ahead of himself. His parents, the ones he lied about. Lied about how much they loved him, cared for him. They didn't know how much they actually hated him, hated his choice to join the military. They didn't know he was never meant to be born. Usually a happy accident to others, he was just a burden. The reason his parents lives were ruined, the reason for everything bad that happened to them. Joining the military was an out, a reason to get away from them. Away form the hurtful words, the heavy hands hitting him. Away from the constant work, work he did to make him love-able, to make him someone to be proud of.
"Don't go away again." Ghost says, tapping his cheek.
"I'm fine." Soap says, even he can hear the lie in his voice.
"Johnny." Ghost sighs.
Soap looks back to Price, he's looking at him now.
"I'm sorry son. If I knew, I wouldn't have called them."
"It's okay. Not your fault, wanted them to look like the parents I wanted. Shouldn't have lied. Just easier than living the truth I guess." Soap says, rubbing his hands over his face, hissing as he accidentally scratches his stitches.
"Careful love." Ghost says, holding his hands out to Soap.
Soap grabs onto them and fiddling with his fingers.
"You okay?" Gaz asks carefully.
"Not really. My dad threw a rock at me. They hate me." Soap sighs, bringing Ghost hand to his face, nuzzling into it.
Ghost holds onto him, leaving him to use him as he wants to. Soap feels the bed dip by his side, and a second later Prices fingers run through his hair.
"I'm sorry son." Price says again.
"It's fine. I know they hate me. Knew my whole life, never went a day without hearing one of them saying it. Just hoped I'd be able to make them, at least, be proud of who I became, but even that is to big of a dream." Soap says, leaning into Prices hand, holding Ghosts hand closer.
Gaz makes a wounded sound next to Ghost. Soap looks towards him, his eyes are filled with tears. Soap pats the open space beside him and Gaz doesn't waste time sitting down. He leans into Soap, holding him in a side hug.
"I got over it. It doesn't hurt as much anymore. Not a child anymore. I made my place, I made myself proud. And look, I have you guys." Soap says with a small smile.
"You'll always have as, no getting rid of us." Gaz sniff, tears wetting Soaps shirt.
"Same goes for you, I care too much about you guys." Soap says.
Ghost leans forward and rests their foreheads together. Saying so much, without uttering a word.
"I'm so proud of you son. You make me proud everyday, seeing you grow into a brilliant soldier." Price says, holding onto his neck.
Soap can't stop the tears, can't stop the sob leaving his throat. He holds onto them, they hold him together as he sobs for all he doesn't have, and all he has. He sobs for the scared little boy who doesn't know why being alive is such a sin. He sobs for the teen who was beaten for holding another boys hand, and he sobs for the man who finally found his family.
When his sobs die down, Ghost helps him clean up. Price and Gaz leave them, giving them some time alone. Ghost helps him wash, helps him into clean cloths and helps him towards the break room.
Inside he finds the rest of his family waiting for him. Recruits, privates and other friends celebrating his accomplishment. If he had anymore tears, he would have cried all over again.
"Proud of you Johnny." Ghost says, tapping their heads together.
"Congratulations L.T." Gaz smiles, grabbing Soap into a hug.
Price nods at him, patting him on the shoulder.
Soap looks at the people around him, feels the warmth of them as they smile, and sees the care as they congratulate him. This is love, this is family.