Work Text:
Lu Guang couldn’t breath.
He felt a crushing pressure, of a pair of hands pressing as hard as they could into his throat. Somehow a choked sound escaped from his mouth, whether this was a plea for oxygen or an attempt at any final words was unknown to Lu Guang himself.
His vision was blurring, and the only thing that he could make out was red eyes and a sickening smile looking down on him as he was in his final moments. A snicker passed through the lips of his soon to be murderer and all Lu Guang could think was.
Thank God It’s Me And Not Him
Cheng Xiaoshi had gone out earlier, claiming that they both deserve bubble tea for their hard effort at work today (They had simply located someone's lost dog.) But Cheng Xiaoshi had hardly let Lu Guang make a remark about their so-called ‘Hard Work’ before he was already out the door of the studio, calling out that he would get Lu Guang’s usual.
The dark haired boy could return to the studio at any moment, but it was too late for Lu Guang.
Somehow the pressure on his throat grew tighter and Lu Guang knew that any attempt to fight back would be futile, every attempt that he had made earlier was unsuccessful, but the pressure was gone from his throat and all of sudden he was sitting up and heaving in and out.
His lungs aching desperately for the oxygen that he had been deprived of. Lu Guang wasn’t sure how long it took for him to fully come back into himself, when he did, he was met with the grinning face of Li Tianchen, whose hands were now casually pressing into Lu Guang’s shoulders.
“Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.” He didn’t even try to hide the fact that this was a threat, his hand shifted from his shoulder to cup Lu Guang’s cheek, and if the boy had any strength left in him, he would’ve pushed it away. But Lu Guang did not have the strength, a million disjointed thoughts were running through his head, and none of them made sense. Li Tianchen’s hand shifted from his cheek to the back of his head, and with an unnecessary amount of strength, pulled Lu Guang down so that the boy’s head was resting against his shoulder.
“What do you think Cheng Xiaoshi is going to think when he walks in here and see’s you like this?” The tone the pink haired took was teasing, but the reminder of his partner was almost enough to give him a second wind and his hands twitched as he made an attempt to push away from the other boy, but his attempt was pathetic as the other male simply took hold of his wrists, and everything went black. He wasn’t sure how long he wasn’t in his body for, but when he blinked back to reality his hands were tied together.
Li Tianchen smiled down at him, the boy had possessed Lu Guang for a few moments so that the boy wouldn’t struggle while being restrained.
“Come on Lu, no need to struggle.” The shorter boy grabbed a fistful of his hair and dragged him up slightly.
“Once you and Cheng Xiaoshi give me what I want, I’ll be out of your hair.” This was followed by him tightening his grip on Lu Guang’s locks, and leaning in closer to his face, he leaned as close as he possibly could to Lu Guang’s ear, and even then Lu Guang could see the smirk that plagued the other boy’s face.
“If we gave him a little call, how long do you think it would take for him to get here?” He shifted slightly, Lu Guang’s bound hands were forced to to fall behind his neck, the shorter boy’s face was still uncomfortably close to his ear.
“How fast do you think he’d get here, if he saw how you looked right now?” Li Tianchen’s hands pressed into his back, and Lu Guang all of sudden wished for the harsh violence that he was met with earlier, Lu Guang could live with the fact that the boy holding onto him wanted him dead, he could deal with the fact that Li Tianchen wanted to hurt him.
But he could not deal with touching him gently.
There was something disturbing in the way he looked at Lu Guang, and as much as he knew it was a good thing that Cheng Xiaoshi was away from the grasp of the psychopath in front of him, for a moment he couldn’t help but yearn for his partner's presence here. But he tried to shake the thought away.
The longer that Cheng Xiaoshi was away from Li Tianchen the better, and even if that meant he had to come home to Lu Guang’s limp body on the couch a second time, so be it. Lu Guang would rather be stabbed again and left to die on this godman couch for a second time, then ever have to see Cheng Xiaoshi brushing too close to death.
Li Tianchen’s shifted forcing Lu Guang’s chin to come to a rest on his shoulder, and for a moment he was hit with a bone crushing sense of tiredness and his eyes began to shift shut, but Li Tianchen most of noticed that he was going limp, because the boy jerked upwards. Which caused Lu Gunag to become wide awake again.
“Didn’t anybody ever tell you that sleeping on the job was unprofessional?” The little jab hit way too close to a teasing remark that Cheng Xiaoshi would make as Lu Guang was leaning on the counter, rubbing at the dark marks underneath his eyes, and Cheng Xiaoshi would lean down in front of him and offer a small smirk as he poked at his eyebags, and try and encourage Lu Guang to lay down on the couch for a little bit while he finished closing up.
The familiar sound of the doorbell announcement rang out and Lu Guang had never felt so relieved and so scared at once, Li Tianchen leaned into his neck, and he could feel the smirk against the skin of his neck and Lu Guangs entire body shivered.
“Yo Lu-” Before Cheng Xiaoshi could finish calling out, using the strength that he could muster Lu Guang managed to scream out.
“Run!” His own voice felt uncomfortable in his throat, and even without foresight, Lu Guang should’ve known that the boy was never going to listen to him, because in a split second, Cheng Xiaoshi was at the entry of the living room, his cheeks flushed red from either how fast he ran or the heat outside.
“Lu Guang!” The boy called out, his eyes taking in the scene before him.
Li Tianchen twisted himself out of Lu Guang’s arms, but kept his hands wrapped tightly around the his wrist, Cheng Xiaoshi was across the room in a second his fist flying toward Li Tianchen’s face, but with an unprecedented amount of strength, he yanked Lu Guang off the couch and used his body as shield.
It was all too reminiscent of that night in the dark underground subway. Cheng Xiaoshi had managed to pull his punch back and instead made a desperate lunge for Lu Guang instead, he attempted to reach his arms out to the other boy.
But an arm locked around his neck and forced him back against Li Tianchen.
“One more step closer and it’s over for him!” Cheng Xiaoshi was only a foot or so from them, but he stopped dead in his tracks. Li Tianchen snorted at Cheng Xiaoshi’s compliance, but his grip loosened from around Lu Guang’s neck.
“Why don’t you take a seat and we can get down to business.” It wasn’t poised as a question, but instead a vague threat as Li Tianchen’s hand forced Lu Guang’s chin upwards, putting on a display the bruises that were blossoming across his throat. Cheng Xiaoshi gritted his teeth as he planted himself down on the couch, as close as he possibly could get to the two of them.
“There, now let him go.” Cheng Xiaoshi was not making any effort into holding in the rage that he felt, Lu Guang thought the best and worst thing about Cheng Xiaoshi wore his heart on his sleeve.
It was the best, because it meant that Cheng Xiaoshi was a genuine person, it was one of the things that had drawn Lu Guang to the other boy.
It was one of the things that had made Lu Guang fall in love with him.
But it also drew others towards him, those that would take advantage of his honest reactions and bleeding heart, and at the very least Lu Guang wished that for his own safety Cheng Xiaoshi would learn to compose himself just a little bit.
But Cheng Xiaoshi would not be himself if he didn’t react to every small impulse that he had, he wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t throw himself into the face of danger without ever thinking about what would happen to him.
Li Tianchen smirked, and reached behind him, he pulled something out of his pocket and chucked it towards Chen Xiaoshi who had no trouble catching the envelope.
“I have a job for you.” Lu Guang didn’t need to even turn around to know that there was still a smirk plastered on Li Tianchen’s face.
“Let him go and I’ll consider doing it.” Cheng Xiaoshi replied, flicking the envelope in their direction, but instead of letting go, Li Tianchen’s grip tightened on Lu Guang.
“You’re in no position to be making demands, so here’s what’s going to happen.” Li Tianchen tilted Lu Guang’s face upwards, and his other hand began to fiddle with Lu Guang’s hair and Lu Guang could see that Cheng Xiaoshi hardly helped in the knee jerk reaction to rush to his side.
“You two are going to look into that picture, and you are going to find exactly what I need you to find.” The hand that had been messing with Lu Guangs hair, shifted down so that it was pressing down on Lu Guang’s heart, Li Tianchen’s voice grew quiet as leaned down over Lu Guang, caging his body into his hold, but his voice was still loud enough that Cheng Xiaoshi would hear what was said.
“And if you manage to do it quick enough, maybe I’ll keep my partner here in one piece while you’re gone.” The way he had said my made a sickening weight made itself known in Lu Guang's stomach. Lu Guang knew that this was said to get a rise out of Cheng Xiaoshi and he made a small wish that the boy would not have a knee jerk reaction, just this once.
But he should’ve known better.
Cheng Xiaoshi lunged for them and Lu Guang made a valiant effort in trying to break free of Li Tianchen’s grasp and the three of them ended up on a heap in the floor, Cheng Xiaoshi’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, and he desperately made an attempt to pull him away from his captor, but Cheng Xiaoshi seemed to forget what the other boy was capable of, and once again everything went black.
When he came back around again, it was with a dizzying vision and to the sound of Cheng Xiaoshi’s voice, calling out his name. Something cold was pressing into the skin of his thigh, and he looked down and found that a knife was being held against his skin, and a hand was at the back of his head pushing him towards the ground.
“Are you going to listen now, or am I going to have to make some more marks on your pretty face for you to get it through your head!” The knife moved from his thigh, and Lu Guang had the sudden realisation that he could smell blood coming from somewhere
For a second he managed to glance up, and he caught sight of Cheng Xiaoshi’s face. A small cut was under his eye, and he was breathless. Lu Guang had to take a deep breath in, before he managed to choke out the words:
“Please, please don’t hurt him, I’ll do what you want.” Because this was the truth, Lu Guang would do anything for Cheng Xiaoshi, he had altered timelines, he had thrown himself into danger countless times, just to keep his partner safe. Having to go back and look for something, meant nothing as long as it kept Cheng Xiaoshi out of danger.
“I wasn’t talking to you Lu, but your partner may want to take the hint from you.” Li Tianchen pulled Lu Guang up by the roots of his hair. Lu Guang glanced back up to Cheng Xiaoshi, who looked torn between acting out in rage or breaking down and crying. Lu Guang wasn’t sure what had happened while he was under Li Tianchen’s control, but it had been enough to upset Cheng Xiaoshi.
“Cheng Xiaoshi, it’s okay, we can do it.” Lu Guang pushed out, and Cheng Xiaoshi looked between him and Li Tianchen, before replying.
“Okay, we’ll do it.” The knife was pulled away from Lu Guang and the boy was pulled up so that his back was resting against the couch, but Li Tianchen’s arm remained wrapped around his shoulders and he gestured for Cheng Xiaoshi to take a seat again.
Cheng Xiaoshi did, but his leg came right down next to Lu Guang, so that his side was being pressed into it.
“I’m going to need to speak to my partner, so could you let him come up here?”
The way that Cheng Xiaoshi had said my was entirely different to the way Li Tianchen had said it. When Li Tianchen said my it sounded like Lu Guang was a possession, a doll that could be tugged around and made to do whatever his owner deemed fit. When Cheng Xiaoshi said my, he made it sound like Lu Guang was something precious, something that was worthy of the love and attention that Cheng Xiaoshi dedicated to him.
Though in the back of his mind, Lu Guang knew that he wasn’t. He had never been and never would be worthy of any kind of love that was given to him. Lu Guang wasn’t someone who was deserving of the blind devotion that Cheng Xiaoshi offered him.
Lu Guang wasn’t worthy of anything.
Li Tianchen loosened on him, and for a moment Lu Guang thought that he might be pulled into an embrace by his partner but instead the pink haired boy's hand grabbed onto his face, his nails dug into the skin of his cheek.
“You can do your thing from down here, can’t you Lu?”
Lu Guang could only tilt his head slightly in response, but Li Tianchen took that as a yes and reached for the envelope beside him, the seal was already broken and a picture was held in front of his face.
Cheng Xiaoshi snatched it away from both of them, Lu Guang feared that Li Tianchen was going to respond violently but he simply rolled his eyes.
“Tell us what we're looking for first.” Cheng Xiaoshi snapped, making sure to keep the photo away from Lu Guang’s eyes.
“I want you to find my birth certificate.” Honestly that was not what Lu Guang was expecting, he was expecting, blackmail, some kind of attempt at changing the past that they would have to learn to live with. But this was just some run of the mill job that any customer could’ve given to them.
“Cheng Xiaoshi.” Lu Guang nudged the boy’s leg and lifted his bound hands up so that he could hold onto the picture, Cheng Xiaoshi grimaced at the knots around his wrists, and instead of passing the picture to him, Cheng Xiaoshi held the picture in front of his face, and leaned down so that his face was pressing into Lu Guangs other cheek.
Cheng Xiaoshi was glaring across Lu Guang’s face, and he whispered into his ear:
“I’ve got you, I won’t let anything happen while you’re looking.” The assurance was something that Lu Guang didn’t know that he desperately needed, but something in his heart sparked at the fact that Cheng Xiaoshi was looking out for him.
From the other side of his head, he could hear Li Tianchen scoff.
“Whatever, that’s the day that Qian Jin moved us into his house, I need you to figure out which file he put my certificate in and then come back and tell me.
“Couldn’t you have just looked yourself?” Cheng Xiaoshi snapped back, but the other boy roughly pulled at Lu Guang’s hair, and Cheng Xiaoshi snapped his mouth shut again.
Li Tianchen snapped his fingers in front of the photo. His other hand was still resting at the base of Lu Guang’s neck, his fingers pressed near the bruises that he had not put there not so long ago.
“You going to look Lu?” Lu Guang let out a huff, but he took a deep breath in and blinked once and all of a sudden he was watching a memory from a few years ago. Cheng Xiaoshi and Li Tianchen seemed to forget that Lu Guang could still hear what was happening around him.
“Let him go, we’ve got it from here and will let you know when we're done.” He felt the hand that was on the base of his neck move so that it was gripping in an almost possessive manner at his arm.
Lu Guang watched two pink haired children run down the corridor, and he could see that Qian Jin was walking down the other end of the corridor with a briefcase in hand.
“It’s so pathetic how desperate you are to have him near you, I bet he’d be so much happier with a partner like me.” Lu Guang had to bite back his own response that he was perfectly fine with Cheng Xiaoshi.
“What, some guy who kidnaps him and ties him up like some freak?” Another hand gripped at his arm, but this grip did not feel possessive, rather it felt protective. Nails weren’t digging into his skin, and it didn’t feel like he was being pulled but rather Cheng Xiaoshi was leaving him the room to move closer if he wanted to.
Lu Guang blinked twice, and he could feel himself focus back in on the scene around him. He tried to ignore Li Tianchen, and turned to face Cheng Xiaoshi.
“Remember our rules?” Lu Guang asked, his voice at the very least seemed to sound less broken then it did before which Lu Guang took as a win.
“You really think I'm going to go and leave you alone with him?” Cheng Xiaoshi looked between a mix of shock and anger, and Lu Guang shook his own head.
“It’ll be okay, this will be in and out and I-” A hand pressed down on top of Lu Guang’s mouth and fingers roughly smashed against his teeth.
“You know it’s rude to talk about guests like there not here.” His other hand reached out and for a moment it looked like he was reaching for Cheng Xiaoshi, and all that Lu Guang could think at that moment was that he could not let him touch Cheng Xiaoshi.
So he jerked forward and bit down on the fingers pressing on his teeth, in a second the hand that was when the hand that was reaching for Cheng Xiaoshi slapped across Lu Guang’s face. But he didn’t care.
As long as he was kept far away from Cheng Xiaoshi.
The boy in question was leaping across him to most likely put himself between Lu Guang and Li Tianchen, so Lu Guang lunged his hands forward and let them slap against Cheng Xiaoshi’s.
“Dive.” Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t even have time to react before he was gone from the room, Lu Guang didn’t even know if that was going to work, but he was glad that it did.
For a few seconds there was nothing, but then he heard Cheng Xiaoshi, panickedly calling out his name.
I’m here, I can see, I’ll get you through this
He could hear Cheng Xiaoshi, asking him a million questions a second, but he managed to cut through everything and told Cheng Xiaoshi one thing.
Focus
Li Tianchen was smirking victoriously, like he had won some kind of game in which he and Cheng Xiaoshi were the pawns. But Lu Guang would do everything to keep Cheng Xiaoshi from having to make a risky move, and he knew he’d have to dedicate some of his energy to blocking Li Tianchen out, so that his words could not be heard by his partner.
Cheng Xiaoshi was calling out for him again.
Walk down the hallway and go to the third door on the right.
Lu Guang could see that Cheng Xiaoshi was moving but the boy as sternly as he could said, well more like thought.
If you go quiet I am coming back immediately, and if you want me to come back just say so.
Li Tianchen was touching his arm again, and Lu Guang had to refrain from the thought of: Please come back right now, I need you.
Instead he told Cheng Xiaoshi to take a seat at the desk that was in the study that he walked in.
“Do you think he’s worried that I’m going to steal you away again?” Li Tianchen asked, moving so that he was sitting directly in front of Lu Guang, he had to bite down on his tongue and focus on guiding Cheng Xiaoshi on using the passcodes on a laptop on the desk that he was currently sitting at.
Li Tianchen’s hand came to rest on his ankle, and his finger started rubbing circles into the skin.
Stop
Cheng Xiaoshi’s movements immediately came to a halt and Lu Guang had to quickly add:
Not You, you’re doing fine.
Lu Guang could feel the swirling emotions of rage, fear and worry through their connection.
And He couldn’t blame Cheng Xiaoshi for these feelings, if their positions were reversed, Lu Guang knows that his feelings would be the same swelling mix of uncertainties. Lu Guang would have never left Cheng Xiaoshi here with this boy, but Lu Guang would stay here and let this boy do whatever he wanted as long as it kept Cheng Xiaoshi safe.
Lu Guang quietly thought.
My own life means nothing, as long as his partner got to get up and see the sunrise again the next day.
Lu Guang heard a shuddering gasp on the other end of his connection.
Li Tianchen was saying something, but Lu Guang could hardly hear him through the frantic thoughts that were running through Cheng Xiaoshi’s head.
What is he doing to you right now?
Li Tianchen at that very moment decided to lean forward and use his fingers to tilt Lu Guangs head upwards, his eyes were pink right now and Lu Guang swallowed down the protest that had been building up in his throat.
It doesn’t matter, now reach for the second drawer down and shuffle through the papers.
Cheng Xiaoshi did as instructed but Lu Guang could hear him say:
It does matter, it matters to me and it should matter to you.
Li Tianchen leaned closer to him and whispered.
“I bet he’s thinking about all the things that I could do to you while he’s gone, I wonder what the worst case scenario is for him?” A hand found its way to Lu Guang’s neck again and he couldn't help the little:
“Not again.” That slipped past his lips.
What? Cheng Xiaoshi called out to him, and as the fingers pressed into the now visible bruises around his neck.
Nothing, now stand up and look at the top shelf to the right.
But Cheng Xiaoshi did not move and it was at that very moment that Li Tianchen decided that he was done messing around and yanked Lu Guang so that he was laying down on the ground, with harsh cold hands digging into his shoulders.
Lu Guang? His partner was calling after him and Lu Guang had to fight to keep the fear from invading his thoughts.
“I wonder if I possessed you right now, would he be able to tell that it wasn’t you?” Li Tianchen leaned his face closer to Lu Guang’s and the boy had to bite down on his lip.
Of Course, of course he’d know.
Cheng Xiaoshi jolted upwards, and Lu Guang called for him to stop, which the boy very reluctantly did. As Li Tianchen practically sat on top of him, Lu Guang had to reassure his partner.
It’s fine, top shelf on the right now, there should be a red file and if what I saw is right it should be in there.
Cheng Xiaoshi reluctantly did as he was told and Lu Guang had to turn some of his attention back towards the boy that was looming over him.
But in his mind he could hear:
Please be alright, please I’d give anything for you to be safe right now.
Beyond the feelings of concern and fear, there was another emotion that was fueling Cheng Xiaoshi’s thoughts, but Lu Guang didn’t have the time to press further into it, as Li Tianchen grabbed a fistful of his shirt at the front and yanked Lu Guang upwards so that their foreheads were pressing together.
“You know Lu, I think we’d make a good pair, I think you should really consider being my partner.” Lu Guang didn’t dignify that with a response, but that just seemed to make Li Tianchen even angrier.
Stop touching me.
Lu Guang could practically feel Cheng Xiaoshi gritting his teeth at that.
Lu Guang I’m coming back
Don’t Lu Guang told him, they were so close now, that Lu Guang being scared and uncomfortable didn’t matter anymore, this would be over soon and they could put this behind them.
Li Tianchen put his free hand around Lu Guang’s bound wrists, and jerked them upwards so that they were pinned right above his head.
“Why don’t you tell him this?” Li Tianchen said as he leaned close to Lu Guang’s ear and hissed out his next words.
“If he doesn’t get back soon, I’ll make you mine.” There was a flash of red in his eyes, and Lu Guang knew that he Cheng Xiaoshi was hearing this, Lu Guang had lost the strength and will to block Li Tianchen’s voice from his head.
Cheng Xiaoshi was calling for him, but Lu Guang couldn’t even think of a reply as Li Tianchen slammed his knees down into his chest.
“I’ll have you one way or another, and when Cheng Xiaoshi comes back it’s going to be to you begging for him to put you out of your misery.”
Somewhere far away, Lu Guang heard Cheng Xiaoshi screaming out his name and the sounds of hands clapping together.
Li Tianchen’s hand was cupping Lu Guang’s cheek again, and he leaned close. To close and-
Come back, please com-
He desperately thought, but he could feel that Cheng Xiaoshi was gone from the connection, that the boy couldn’t hear anything until he got back here.
He heard the sound of feet thudding on the ground and all of above his head, in an instant the weight on top of his chest was gone, there was a bunch of yelling above his head, and Lu Guang made the effort of pushing himself off the ground, as he managed to get himself into a sitting position he could hear the sound of the door slamming shut as well.
“Lu Guang!” His partner called, running back to the living room and planting himself down in front of him. Cheng Xiaoshi’s cheeks were red, and his eyes were watering, Lu Guang made an attempt at asking:
“Li Ti-” But he didn’t even finish before the soft voice of his partner cut through the fear that Lu Guang was feeling at that very moment.
“He’s gone, I’ve got you.” Silence overcame the two as Cheng Xiaoshi silently went about untying Lu Guang, the ropes had left angry red marks and Lu Guang could see the anger building in Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulders again as he looked at them.
Lu Guang, lifted his now free hand to his sore throat and he saw the way that Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulders tensed up as he took in the bruises around his throat. He glanced around the room, and took note of the overturned furniture and some broken glass on the other end of the coffee table.
“We’re going to have to clean up.” Lu Guang pointed out, and then hands were pressing into his shoulders and Cheng Xiaoshi’s features contorted into that of an absolute rage.
“That’s what you’re thinking about? Not the fact that you almost died because you didn’t call me for help!” Cheng Xiaoshi had tears running down his face and didn’t let Lu Guang have the opportunity to speak before he began yelling again.
“I could’ve lost you! I could’ve come back to your corpse and you don’t even seem to care!” Cheng Xiaoshi’s head came to a rest against Lu Guang’s shoulder and he pulled the boy into a bone crushing hug, Lu Guang could feel the tears blending into the fabric of his shirt but found he didn’t care, instead he found himself lifting a hand up to his own cheek and being shocked at the water running down it.
He tried to turn his attention back to Cheng Xiaoshi, afterall the boy was the one who was scared and hurt right now, this wasn’t about Lu Guang. But as Lu Guang tried to say anything of comfort, he found a small sob making its way past his lips, but he choked it back down.
Cheng Xiaoshi was still crying, his fingers were curling into the fabric of Lu Guang’s shirt, and through a small sob the boy whispered:
“I can’t lose you, I can’t.” Lu Guang’s hands laid usually at his side for a few moments, before he brought them to rest on top of Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulders, he rubbed small circles into the boy’s tense muscles. The black haired boy slumped forward into Lu Guang’s arms.
“You can’t leave me alone.” Cheng Xiaoshi desperately pleaded, lifting his head to look up at Lu Guang, who was glad that his own tears had come to a halt, he wasn’t sure Cheng Xiaoshi would be able to carry the burden of the feelings that Lu Guang was holding in his heart.
Nor should he have to.
“I won’t, I’ll stay right here.” Lu Guang quietly promised, this seemed to be the right thing to say, because slowly Cheng Xiaoshi’s sobs turned into quiet sniffles and he wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but eventually they managed to pull themselves off the ground.
Cheng Xiaoshi, was still desperately clinging to Lu Guang’s shoulders as if he was afraid that if he let go that Lu Guang would disappear into thin air, which was ridiculous because if anyone should be scared of someone leaving it should be Lu Guang.
He had lost Cheng Xiaoshi once, and the threat of losing him again was constantly looming over him. But Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t know that, all he knew was the here and now, and the here now was when he almost lost his best friend again.
“Idiot, I’m here.” Cheng Xiaoshi’s grip on him lossend only slightly, and Lu Guang fought back the urge for the corners of his lips to perk up.
“Let’s shower and clean up.” Lu Guang offered, and Cheng Xiaoshi simply nodded but as they walked away from the living room, Cheng Xiaoshi shifted his arm so that it was intertwined with Lu Guang’s own.
Lu Guang, chose not to comment, instead he leaned slightly closer to his roommate.
A small reminder that they were both here, and that they were both alive.
At least for now.
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lu Guang showered after Cheng Xiaoshi, and he did his best to look away from the mirror and not catch sight of the purple marks on his skin. When he came out of the shower, Cheng Xiaoshi was sitting at the kitchen counter, with two cups of tea in front of him.
“I called the police already, they’ll try to keep tabs and find him.” Lu Guang nodded and took the seat across from Cheng Xiaoshi, the boy pushed the slightly fuller cup towards him.
They sat in silence for a few moments, before it was Cheng Xiaoshi that broke the silence.
“You shouldn’t have made me dive.” His hands were gripping on the mug so tightly that Lu Guang feared that it was going to break, but Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulders jerked slightly, and he looked up with a fierce anger behind his eyes.
“He could’ve killed you while I was gone, he could’v-” Lu Guang reached across and pulled the cup from Cheng Xiaoshi’s hands, the boy paused, seeming slightly confused by the other boy’s actions, his mouth was agape and he started frantically moving his arms around.
“Don’t you care what happens? Don’t you care if you get hurt?” Cheng Xiaoshi’s hands came down on the counter top, and Lu Guang saw something flash through his eyes as his partner took a steadying breath.
“It was really you huh?” Lu Guang reached his arm out.
“Cheng Xiaoshi what ar-” But a hand latched out to Lu Guangs own stretched out one, and wrapped his fingers so tightly around it.
“You.” Cheng Xiaoshi wasn’t yelling anymore, but Lu Guang almost preferred the yelling over the quiet way his partner whispered out.
“Really meant it when you thought your own life meant nothing.” Lu Guang couldn’t answer that, because if he opened his mouth he’d have to lie to Chang Xiaoshi and say that he hadn’t meant it or that Cheng Xiaoshi was reading into something that wasn’t there, but he had lied to Cheng Xiaoshi enough and even if he lied right now he knew the other boy would not even pretend to believe him.
So instead, Lu Guang just gave a small nod. Cheng Xiaoshi all but threw himself across the counter to wrap his arms around him.
“You mean everything Lu Guang, and I don’t know how you could ever think you don’t.” Cheng Xiaoshi sighed into his ear.
“I’m sorry.” Lu Guang managed to slip out, he wasn’t sure why those were the words that came out his mouth, but they were what felt right to say in the moment. Cheng Xiaoshi just pulled him closer.
“I’m sorry I made you dive.” He continued to say, but he wasn’t just saying sorry for today, he was saying sorry for ever pulling Cheng Xiaoshi into this mess in the first place, Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t deserve to be here, constantly being plagued by people and memories that weren’t his problem to begin with.
Cheng Xiaoshi deserved to just be a boy who loved looking at pictures.
Lu Guang deserved to have his soul ripped apart by all the crushing guilt who bore on his shoulders.
A knuckle lightly knocked against his forehead.
“Idiot.” Cheng Xiaoshi breathlessly whispered out, before he reached his hand to take hold of Lu Guangs own.
“That’s usually my line.” Lu Guang bit back, which made his partner let out a light chuckle,
“Yeah.” His grip on Lu Guang’s hand tightened. “But that’s because I’m usually the reckless and impulsive one.” Lu Guang couldn’t help but roll his eyes at his partner's comment.
“Can’t I be reckless for once?” Lu Guamg quietly asked, but Cheng Xiaoshi shook his head as raised Lu Guag’s hand up slightly, his finger rubbing light circles into his knuckles.
“No, because when I’m reckless I have you there to stop me, when you’re reckless you won’t let anyone stop you.” His finger pressed slightly harder into the skin of Lu Guang’s knuckles.
“You know that you can tell me when you’re scared or hurt right? You don’t need to carry everything on your own.” Cheng Xiaoshi’s voice was soft, and it was so much more gentle then the boy’s usually zealous nature.
“I know.” Lu Guang quietly whispered, now being aware of how much attention that Cheng Xiaoshi was giving him. Cheng Xiaoshi lifted his hand upwards, so that it was right in front of his face.
“I don’t think you do.” A gentle kiss was placed on top of his knuckles, and Cheng Xiaoshi looked pleased when Lu Guang did not yank his hand away.
“But I’ll keep telling you.” Cheng Xiaoshi smiled up at him, and Lu Guang couldn’t help the way his lips flicked upwards.
The two of them managed to get themselves off the ground, cleaning up the teacups, and they both fixed the living room up, finally they made their way up to their bedroom.
Cheng Xiaoshi flopped down on his bottom bunk, and Lu Guang found himself pausing at the foot of the ladder.
“Cheng Xiaoshi.” He called out, and the boy lifted his head slightly. With a burst of confidence that Lu Guang had no idea where it came from, he leant down and brushed the bangs from his partner's forehead and placed a chaste kiss on the skin.
“I’m your partner.” Cheng Xiaoshi smiled up at him, and shuffled over. It was clear what he wanted and who was Lu Guang to deny him.
As the two laid there together, Cheng Xiaoshi reached for Lu Guang’s hand, interlocking their fingers together, the boy rolled onto his side and he reached his free hand out to brush a loose strand of hair from Lu Guang’s face.
“You are my partner, and I am yours.” It wasn’t I love you.
But it was better then that.
Lu Guang was Cheng Xiaoshi’s until the end of time and then some after that.
Cheng Xiaoshi was Lu Guang’s.
That was all that mattered.