Chapter Text
I would say I'm sorry if I thought it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I have said too much
Been too unkind
Fandral was anxious, he was running late for his meeting with Loki. The funeral for the false Loki had been attended by Helblindi Prince on behalf of Jotunheim. Fandral had been given the task of seeing him safely back through Alfheim, then he could meet up with the real Loki at the cabin, but he was running a day late. If Loki had already left, as she should have, Fandral had the details of their next meeting place and could make it easily before Loki moved on. He couldn't wait to hold her in his arms again, to kiss her.
He was a day late getting to the cabin on the beach, and as expected Loki had done as she was told and had left. But to Fandral's utter horror and confusion the list of future meeting places and timings was torn to shreds and lying in a heap on the table. Why? Had she committed them to memory, he knew she was incredibly intelligent. Or had she gone rogue and if so what had prompted her to do so?
Fandral dragged his fingers through his hair and decided to head towards the next scheduled meeting spot in the hope that she had memorised the details. He fed and watered his horse and set off straight away. She was on foot, she had at most a day's head start, he might catch her enroute.
<<>>
Loki had covered more ground than he had expected to, the boots made his feet uncomfortable but he knew he would look suspicious without them. He had found an empty barn to sleep in overnight and after a meagre meal from the supplies he had taken from the cabin he curled up to sleep on an old straw bale. Tomorrow he would try and buy some food. Frigga had taught him that anything he stored in his pocket dimension would stay fresh. He was heading due East, they were expecting him to head South East to Vanaheim, he would head straight across Alfheim towards Nidavellir then head South and work his way to Midgard. He just hoped his knowledge of the maps of the kingdoms was relatively accurate.
At least he was free, that was all that mattered. How had he allowed himself to be taken in by them? Fandral had not come back when he said. Tears gathered in Loki's eyes and he swiped them away angrily. He had allowed himself to think that the swordsman cared for him, he was a fool. Fandral had just wanted to know what having a Jotunn felt like, well now he knew and that was why he hadn't come back. They had taught Loki all he needed to know in order to survive, he didn't need any of them. In spite of his anger the tears flowed again and they stayed with him until he cried himself into a restless night's sleep.
<<>>
At the next meeting spot no one had seen Loki, Fandral asked around the village, her appearance was fairly distinctive, those emerald green eyes would be very noticeable. But he met with a disappointing result, no sign of his beloved Jotunn. He had not passed her on the road, so he decided to stay at the appointed meeting spot for a couple of nights in case she had gotten waylaid or injured and he had missed her somehow. His anxiety grew with his longing, there was a gnawing in his heart. He had never felt like this about any of the other women that flitted through his life. But then Loki was special in so many ways…
After two frustrating days there was no sign of her still and Fandral reluctantly had to turn his horse back towards Asgard. He left instructions with the household that if Loki turned up they should send word to the palace by raven coded for Frigga's eyes only and ensure they gave the youngster any help that she or he needed. He rode swiftly homeward and tried to fight the unease that was within him. Had something happened to her on the road? She wasn't yet seventeen years old and if she was still female she could be a target for undesirable attention.
<<>>
Loki approached the large town with trepidation. It was easier to vanish without trace in a large population, but there was also more risk while he was still stuck in this female form. It was useful for eliciting sympathy, but it also attracted the wrong kind of attention. He wandered through the market stalls, spending a little of his money on provisions, putting them in the canvas bag Sif had given him. Once he was in a safe place he would swap the majority of it to his pocket dimension to keep it both fresh and safe. No one else could access that space.
Frigga and Odin had given him coin, but he had no idea how long he would be travelling for and he had effectively cut off his source of replenishment by tearing up the list he had been given. Once he was a bit further on he would try to find casual work to earn food, lodging or coin to keep himself going. At least Sif had had the foresight to provide him with male clothes so that when this damned elixir wore off he could dress appropriately. It would also make finding work easier and make him less vulnerable. He saw the looks he was getting from some of the men…
He found a run down building on the edge of the town, he double and triple checked that he hadn't been followed before he unpacked his foodstuffs. He ate a small meal and drank some water, then carefully stowed two thirds of the remaining food in his pocket dimension. There was a stream nearby and he headed towards it and refilled his water skins. There was undergrowth and rocks and no one in sight. He stripped down to his small clothes and clambered into the cold water to clean the dust of the road off him and out of his hair. He carefully rinsed out his dress and laid it on the rocks to dry. He put on clean clothing then washed out his small clothes and added them to his dress to dry.
He lay in the sun and had a nap while his clothes dried off a bit then he bundled them up and took them back to the run down building where he hung them up to finish drying. He concocted a story in his head he could use while hunting for work as he walked across Alfheim. All this thinking was making him weary, he needed another nap, or perhaps it was all the walking. All he wanted to do was go to sleep, he seemed to be perpetually tired, perhaps his body was changing at long last?
<<>>
Fandral clambered down off his horse and handed the mare over to the stable boy to look after. Sif had seen him arrive and came towards him and once they were alone she spoke to him "I take it that all is not well by the expression on your face."
"I've lost her. I literally do not know where she has gone, Sif. She's too young to be out there on her own. In protecting her from Thor I fear we have put her in graver danger. Come with me while I tell Odin and Frigga what has happened, then I am not repeating myself."
"You have feelings for her. I can see it on your face, Fandral. Don't try and deny it." Sif touched his arm, she was concerned for her friend and fellow warrior.
"I've been with her since before she was fourteen. I have watched her grow up, endure pain, fight, learn. Of course I have feelings for her. It would be hard not to. Don't read anything into it, Sif." Fandral tried to hide the emotions he was feeling, but there was no fooling Sif.
"Whatever you say, Fandral. Do you want to get cleaned up before we face the AllFather and the Queen?"
"No, the sooner they hear this the better." Fandral gritted his teeth and the two warriors walked towards the throne room.
Fandral explained the situation to Odin, Frigga and Sif.
"Do you think she has done this deliberately?" Frigga asked.
Before Fandral could answer Odin laughed "We should never have taught her tafl. She is quite the expert at strategy. Of course she has done it deliberately. We need to think like her if we are ever going to find her."
"She has never beaten you, Odin." Frigga reminded him.
"She has come incredibly close on numerous occasions. And this is real life, not a board game. She has had time to make several moves already before we even realised she was playing. And she may have an endgame in sight, which is an advantage we don't have. How far she has planned depends on what triggered her. Did she always intend to run or did something spook her? Any ideas?" Odin looked at the others.
Fandral cleared his throat "I think she may have been spooked. I was meant to be with her on day seven, but because I had to escort Helblindi I didn't get to the cabin until day eight. Perhaps she thought we had betrayed or abandoned her. If she felt that way she would change strategy like in tafl to throw us off track. She is young, but she is very intelligent. She learned a lot while she was here and I'm quite sure geography was one of her many subjects."
Odin sighed “We need to think like her to even try to get close to what she is planning. We will have a strategy meeting in the morning. I will arrange to have maps brought in. Fandral, we have both played against her so we will have the best idea of what her moves will be, but ladies, you will know where best she can get provisions and shelter.”
Fandral was agitated “We need to start now, sire.”
“No. You need to rest. You need a clear head, Fandral. This is not an amateur player we are tackling, Loki’s an expert. We all need to be at our best. Eat and sleep and come here in the morning.” Odin chased the swordsman and the female warrior out.
Sif and Fandral headed to the kitchen and grabbed some food, then she bade him goodnight as he headed off to his own quarters to try and snatch some sleep before the following day's meeting with the king and queen.
Boys don’t cry - or do they?