Chapter Text
“Hm, she’s definitely back home, don’t know why she isn’t answering.”
“Brat’s probably on the phone with that shitty boyfriend you mentioned.”
Erwin groans at the person in reference, hands automatically balled up into eager fists.
“He’s not here, relax, overprotective brother.”
“What if he is?” Erwin’s eyes narrow, glancing up the stairs. “I’ll give her an early Christmas present and redecorate his face.”
Levi smirks at the rare show of indignation on his friend’s face. “Doubt she’ll appreciate that, deserved as it may be. Want me to check on her? Give you a chance to calm down?”
Erwin sighs, already gesturing upwards before heading towards the kitchen. “Don’t know how you’re so calm about this.”
“Didn’t say I was.” Levi mumbles, sauntering up the stairwell. He was prone to emotional bursts more than Erwin but found it easier to manage and was usually quick to recover – he knew his friend could harbour a deeper, sinister dark side. Especially when it came to his sister.
He shakes his head, reaching the landing, and notices light peeking out from her door, which is slightly ajar. She’s home alright, and I don’t hear any voices.
Pausing at her door, he gives her the courtesy of knocking first. “Hey brat, it’s me. Me and your brother just got back.”
Silence.
Huffing in annoyance, he knocks louder, before opening the door wide. Before his eyes go wide. Before he feels his heart leap into his throat. What the-
You had been home for a few days for the Christmas break – not that your parents had seen much of you, with all the time you spent cooped up in your room. This was for two reasons that they did not know.
- You and your shitty boyfriend had finally broken up. Rather, he had broken up with you. And though you should have seen it coming, though you know deep down you should have instigated it, you can’t help the fog of heartbreak and depression that had engulfed you.
You would tell your family eventually, but you had yet to come to terms with it yourself. - You were a camgirl. Rent and bill costs were hiking up an ungodly amount, as well as your grad school workload which meant you barely had time to maintain your part-time job to supplement your meagre funding. This had turned out to be an unexpectedly lucrative opportunity that had been jokingly suggested by your asshole ex in the middle of a… heated session.
“Babe your body’s so hot, bet you could make a million bucks online. Even more after I cover your tits in my- “
You would never tell your family this.
You didn’t have that much time in the week during term to devote to this new hobby but were making the most of the free time at home, finding it a welcome distraction to break you out of the post-breakup fugue.
Plus, it was the festive season, and with many people in particularly high (or low) spirits and more free time, it seemed only right to cash in on the holiday cheer and the generosity of your followers and purchase some holiday-themed lingerie.
You were a natural businesswoman, it seemed.
And that is how you came to be perched on your childhood bed, hair falling in perfectly glossy waves, earphones plugged in, surrounded by your old plushies who had now been witness to a variety of debaucherous acts, adorned in a delicate lacey green matching set – the thong featuring a Christmas tree on the little material it was made of, along with a little jingly bell at the centre of the waistband.
It rang cheerily as you jumped with shock, face matching Levi’s expression.
“… Hi?”
Levi reddens, blanches, turns away and shuts the door.
Oh God. Your heart has never beaten this fast; you’re worried you're about to go into cardiac arrest as you slam your laptop screen down and hurriedly grab something, anything to cover yourself.
You wrap a satin robe around you at speed before calling out, unsure if he’s even still outside. He looked so freaked out…
“Levi? Please, I’m decent.”
Why the fuck was he still standing there?
Images of you flash through his mind, and he hates it. Hates how… alluring you looked. It makes his sullen scowl set in a little firmer than usual, as he sets about to storm away when your voice rings out, light and airy. He takes a deep breath before entering again, eyes scanning over the thing barely covering your skin – it was far too short, far too silky-
Decent my ass.
“Wear your other robe.” He grunts out.
“Wha?”
“You still have it, right? The fluffy one with the cat ears.”
“Levi, what the fuck?”
“Just wear it.” His voice carries an almost dangerous glint which prompts you to stand up, partly in alarm but also annoyance.
“Fuck’s sake, would you chill? God I’m sorry, okay, I should have locked the door, I just didn’t expect you guys would be back tonight.”
In the middle of your explanation, you had untied and thrown your offending robe away carelessly on the floor, and Levi was too enthralled with the sudden exposure of your body again to tell you to pick it up. You find your other dressing gown, unaware of his eyes on you until it’s wrapped securely your waist, and you turn to face him. You've put the gown's hood up, the cat ears looking extra perky almost matching your animated tone. It's... adorable.
He realises he hadn't listened to the end of your sentence, and you were looking at him expectantly. He looks straight at your eyes. “That’s better.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Jesus sorry to offend you. Didn’t realise you were such a prude.”
His eyes narrow suddenly. “Didn’t realise you were such a-“
“A what?” You challenge, daring him to finish. You watch as he regains his breath back.
“God,” He sighs in exasperation, halting his initial thought. “I’m not- it’s fine, I’m just- really wished you had locked the door if you were planning on virtually fucking that idiot of yours.”
“I wasn’t!” You close your eyes, willing your face to cool down. “I wasn’t, I was…”
The silence brews something uneasy.
“I uh, fuck, please don’t tell Erwin. Or my parents, obviously, but especially not him.”
“Jesus Christ, what you are doing?”
“I uh, do some camming.”
“… What?”
“I strip down in front of strangers for money, okay?” You hiss.
He stares at you. He wants to be chill about this, it’s fine, he’s not even your brother so what does it matter what you do in your spare time?
Strip down in front of strangers for money.
“Why?”
“Because grad school’s expensive, rent’s expensive, and apparently I’ve got a nice enough body, and I can use it to survive.”
He ignores any mention of your nice body and cuts to the chase. “Erwin can give you money.”
“What?”
“I can give you money too, if we’d known you were struggling that much,”
“No, Levi stop.”
“I’m not shaming sex work, okay, but you have sources of support, you can rely on us.”
“Levi.” You urge him, and he finally looks at you. “Thank you,” you start gently, “but I really don’t want your money. It's not even just about that. This is-I mean though it started off out of curiosity and then urgency, I actually kinda like it. Like, no I’m not gonna be doing this forever, but- look I’m not going TOO far you know, and I’m starting to take pictures of myself and it’s making me feel…”
You don’t finish. He doesn’t say anything. Then you both hear Erwin calling your names.
“… We should go, he’s been waiting to hug you with those bone-crushingly massive arms.”
You manage a smile.
Levi had been joining your family for most big holidays for nearly a decade now. Granted, he was already nearly an adult when he first became friends with Erwin, and you were in your surly preteen years, so you hadn’t particularly wanted to spend that much time together back then – but still, he was a cherished addition to the family. Your parents treated him as a second son, especially after his uncle passed away, and insisted he join Erwin whenever he would plan to visit.
Your grandparents who were now over for dinner were similarly delighted to see and fawn over him and Erwin, giving you breathing space from their incessant questioning of your life choices.
“Levi, take some more vegetables, you’re a growing boy,”
You nearly choke on a sprout, barely stifling a snicker as Levi rolls his eyes, resignedly accepting various offerings. “Nearing 30, remember? Sure you’ve not gone senile?”
Your grandpa laughs good-naturedly, smacking him on the back. He’s the only one who can get away with jokes at the expense of Levi’s height.
“And you, stop laughing.”
You gasp as a pea is thrown in your face, accepting the unspoken challenge and catching it in your mouth.
His eyes widen.
“Holy crap, good catch, kiddo,” Erwin praises.
“Yeah, let’s try again.”
“Children, children,” your mother chides. “Stop playing with your food, eat it please.”
A few moments of thoughtful silence and chewing passes. You throw a carrot at Levi.
“HEY.”
You laugh loudly at his admonished expression, and Erwin joins in.
“Ah, so lively when all the kids are around,” your grandmother beams. “You two have always gotten along, it’s so sweet.”
“Gotten along?” You question dryly with a scoff.
“Nothing sweet about her- STOP it.” He warns when you lobby another carrot at him.
You stick your tongue out.
“So Levi,” your father clears his throat, before his wife loses her temper over wasted food. “Business going well?”
“Getting better, Sir.” Levi sits up, though eyeing you warily from the side. “I’m getting a steady stream of clients now, and it gets especially busy towards the holiday season.”
“So proud of you, honey!” Your mother praises.
“All because of you guys,” Levi smiles genuinely at them. “You’ve been so supportive of my photography, I would never have taken the plunge to start a career from it by myself.”
"Well the free family portraits we get certainly don't hurt! You'll do another for us this year, yes?"
"Of course."
Erwin raises his wine glass, urging the rest to follow.
“Jeez, you gonna toast that?”
“To family,” he smiles at Levi, who’s eyes soften.
“Yeah.”
You down your glass as soon as everyone cheers, letting the warmth settle in your belly.
“Slow down honey, we’re not getting wasted here.”
You snicker at your dad as Erwin sneakily pours you a little more. “Not yet.”
“So, how’s school going, darling?”
Your grandpa’s question has you crinkling your nose slightly, wishing you could return to throwing more food at Levi.
“It’s… going.” You sigh – clearly they want more. “I’m uh, in the midst of thesis-writing and well, it’s a pain the butt. Grad school’s no joke.”
“You're so smart honey, you'll be brilliant!” Your grandma smiles warmly, and despite the growing imposter syndrome any praise fills you, you make sure to return her smile. Until her next question makes it vanish. “And how’s that pesky boyfriend? You've never introduced us!”
“Oh yes, will he be joining for Christmas?” your mother asks. You sense Erwin and Levi tensing up from either side of you, though neither say anything.
“He-um. No, no he won’t.”
Your response sounds curt even to you as you take a big swig of your drink, urging your eyes to stay dry.
“Honey?”
“He-we-I-we broke up, okay?” Your drink is finished. No one says anything but you feel all eyes on you.
“Oh sweetie, you didn’t say!”
“It’s fine,” you attempt a smile before standing up to clear your plate away. “Thanks for dinner.”
You hear murmurs in the room once you’ve left, and focus on washing up, your eyes finally welling up. By saying it out loud, it was finally real. Another failed relationship. Were they talking about which number this was?
What was wrong with you?
“Hey.” You wipe your eyes as Levi comes in, concern evident in his eyes, though he disguises it well under his otherwise nonchalant expression. “Your grandparents are about to head off.”
You nod without a word, making your way to leave. He reaches out and squeezes your shoulder as you pass. “You okay?”
You squeeze your mouth together, not wanting to say anything. But you offer him another slight nod.
“Okay,” he murmurs, “But just so you know, Erwin’s big brother instincts are extra sensitive now, so be prepared. He might actually crush your bones this time when he hugs you.”
You snort. “Thanks for the warning?”
Levi sits with Erwin on the couch, waiting as you talk with your parents. There’s a pattern here. You had dated a few boys since starting college. None had particularly lasted long, but Erwin was already ready, always on duty to soothe you, with sweet reassurances and promises of death threats, and had roped Levi into the role too. Looking at your downtrodden eyes each time, Levi didn’t even need Erwin to ask.
He hated seeing you like that.
Eventually, he sees you trudging towards the lounge. He can see how exhausted you are though you force yourself to join them. Levi catches your eyes and gives you a small smile as Erwin captures you in his arms.
“…Christ, Erwin. Levi wasn't wrong. Let a girl breathe.”
“You did the right thing.”
You lean back in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You were too good for him, you did well by cutting him off.”
Levi watches as your expression becomes distressed.
“He,” you sniff, hating how it bubbles up again, “I didn’t. He did.”
“What?”
“He broke up with me.”
Levi’s eyes furrow, catching Erwin’s strong stare before facing you again. How could he?
“How could he?” Erwin repeats Levi’s thought, pushing you back into his arms.
“I-I should have, I just wanted us to make it through this year, I wanted to try.” You sound so small.
“I’m going to kill him.”
“Erwin,” Levi admonishes, silently agreeing.
“I swear. Didn’t like you together, but now this is causing you so much pain. Can’t stand it. Why would he?”
You stay silent for a few moments, nuzzling into Erwin’s chest. “Doesn’t matter anymore, ‘win. Please.”
He sighs. “I love you, okay?”
“I know. Me too.”
Still enveloped in his arms, you open your eyes and blearily stare at Levi, who hasn't stopped looking at you with a mixture of emotions. Sometimes he has to remind himself that he is considered a part of the family too, not wanting to overstep in moments like this. But he wants to offer comfort too, something you also seem to crave, the way you keep staring. He shuffles slightly closer to the pair, reaching out to stroke your hair. Your eyes immediately close, head angled towards him.
He thinks about the silkiness of your hair, the wet of your eyes, and even the snorts accompanying vegetables flung at him, while he tries to sleep later that night.
“The parents are out, and you know what that means.” Erwin announces, holding up a bottle of whisky.
“Ugh, it has to be whisky?”
“Sorry you’re too much of a brat to appreciate a good drink.”
“Ew, sorry you’re eighty years old inside and need a gross nightcap to get a good night’s sleep.”
“You’re not wrong,” Erwin reflects. “You should see the number of vintage bottles he’s collected. Truly an old man's hobby.”
“It’s simple. Effective.” Levi grunts while pouring himself a generous drink. “Gets the job done.”
“Is the job alcoholism?”
“Shut it, brat. Feel free to make yourself shitty strawberry vodka bleach or whatever broke students drink nowadays.”
“She has better taste than that.” Erwin furrows his thick eyebrows. “I taught you better than that anyway. You can afford better liqueur, right?”
Your eyes meet Levi’s and hurriedly look away as you take a swig of the offending bottle. Levi scoffs and takes the bottle away.
“Oh yeah, Dom Pérignon every Friday night.”
“Let me make a festive drink that will satisfy all our tastes.” Erwin decides, grabbing the whisky from Levi and heading into the kitchen.
“Oh we’re getting fucked up tonight, Levi.”
His eyes roll. “You are. I don’t get fucked up.”
“Oh?” Your eyes glint dangerously, and Levi flicks your forehead in response. “Ow!”
“Don’t even think about it. He wants you comfortably plied with alcohol to tell him all about what happened.”
“Hm?
“Shitty ex. What happened.”
You frown. “Nothing. I mean, you know, general shittiness, nothing more needs to be said.”
“Hm.”
“Alright, here we go. There’s more in the kitchen.” Erwin passes you both mugs with steam rising out. You bring your nose over, letting it warm your face, smelling an inviting concoction of spice, whisky and apple. You feel tipsy already.
“Toast!” You declare, bringing your mug up. “To uh, alcohol.”
“Great job,” Levi rolls his eyes, bringing his mug up. “To stubborn brats.”
“To family!” Erwin yells.
Your eyes widen. “Geez how much did you have already?”
Levi sighs, returning downstairs.
“He’s in bed.” He tells you. You’re sipping at a mysterious drink, sprawled on the couch. He joins you, gingerly moving your feet to make space for him.
As it turns out, Erwin was the first to get fucked up.
“He is… surprisingly lightweight.” You giggle. “I outlasted him!”
“Great achievement. Good job.”
“It is. Thank you.”
“What the hell are you drinking?”
“Squodka.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“Squash and vodka, dude. Ooh, I have some skittles here too.”
“Stop right there.” He groans. “Way too much sugar. This is seriously what you drink?”
You hum, finishing your drink before you respond. “Well, it’s definitely no Dom Pérignon.”
There’s silence for a few moments.
“Have you still been… you know?”
“Hm?”
“On… camera.”
“Oh.” You glance at him. “Like, since you caught me?”
Levi feels his cheeks redden slightly. He blames it on the booze.
“Well, I mean, it’s been busy with family stuff here, I wanna spend time with you guys.” You murmur. “But also…”
“What?”
He doesn’t mean to sound so interested.
‘I-I told you that I was…” You lower your voice and look around, as if Erwin wasn’t already passed the fuck out, but waiting outside the room for a confession of some kind. “I want to um, take photos.”
Levi gives you a questioning look. You busy yourself with pouring another squash and vodka drink as you speak. “Like um, the camming aspect is, is fine, but I really like the idea of… like creating a specific vibe. You know? I mean, you know.”
“You’re not being super clear. But yeah, I know.”
“Right, you know, you’re a photographer! I… I’ve always admired your work.” You admit quietly, and Levi observes you chewing your bottom lip. “It’s beautiful. It’s… thoughtful. Like you know what you want to capture exactly, you know how to make it look good.”
“So you… want to be a photographer?”
“Well, I mean, I want to have pictures taken of me that make me seem… um, pretty?”
He raises an eyebrow. “You… you don’t think you’re pretty?” He tries his best to hide his astonishment.
You pout. “Well. I mean, it's not…”
You struggle with your words, taking a few gulps of your drink instead.
“Do you have any you can show me?”
“Hm?”
“Photos.”
You blush. “I-well I have a few I tried. Are-are you sure? I’m… not the most clothed you know.”
The image of your lacey underwear hasn’t left his mind since he walked in on you. He downs the rest of his drink, putting it aside. He’s here to give his expert opinion. “It’s fine. I won’t freak out.”
You smile shyly, going through the photo album on your phone. Then you tentatively show him your screen.
It’s not quite as revealing as what he walked into the other day, but it makes him feel warm, nonetheless. You’re wearing a plain tank top, one strap teasingly falling off your shoulder, your legs crossed over, toes pointed daintily to cover your panties.
“Sorry, that’s like… really basic, pfft I don’t know why I’m showing you that.”
“The lighting could be improved.”
“What?”
“Plus the backdrop, the composition. You can do better even with your shitty phone.”
You pout.
“There should always be an intention there. But you-“ He meets your eyes. “Well. You don’t need any work.”
You stare for a good while, feeling hot. “Oh. Thanks.”
The corner of his lips twitch. You grab a skittle and throw it at him.
“What-hey!” He raises his voice slightly, trying to find where the sweet landed, giving you time to will your face to stop feeling so warm. “Jeez brat. What was that for?”
“Sweets for a growing boy,” you laugh, reaching to throw another. The force of his hand on your leg makes you pause, and you look down at him nervously. “Levi?”
He stares humourlessly. And then brings his other hand down to your foot, and….
“FUCK-Levi-noooooo-“ you screech, overtaken by a high-pitched squeal as he tickles your foot. “Wa-wait Levi-ah!”
Your foot reflexively kicks at him; he moves his attacking hand up to continue his onslaught on your tummy, making your squeals even louder. “Fuck fuck fuck no no no no-“
“You admit defeat?” He growls, unaware of how it does something to you. You stare at him with wide eyes, out of breath. His own soften, worrying he has hurt you. His removes his hand briefly, placing it on your knee to give it a gentle squeeze. “You okay?”
“Y-yeah.” You blink slowly, catching your breath for a few moments. “Levi?”
“What?”
“Can you photograph me?”
“… What?”
“I really like your photos.” You say simply, eyes growing drowsy. “And I… want to like myself.”
His eyes widen as yours flutter close. His heart… aches.
For the second time tonight he tucks in a Smith sibling.