smoke you up

by loviet

Summary:

Johnny slaps on a look of innocence, “I was just thinking, you know, blazing up helped me with the pressure and anxiety and maybe it could help you with yours.”

Jaehyun blinks heavily and frowns, Yuta’s beauty makes it hard to focus, “what do you mean?”

The air punches out his lungs when he feels Yuta’s hand, warm and firm, slide around his waist so he can lean close and whisper in his ear, “he wants to know if you want me to be your plug too.”

Jaehyun is tired and overworked. Yuta might be the solution.

When Jaehyun was in high school, he was voted Most Likely to Succeed and Most Ambitious. 

Which says a lot, considering you weren’t allowed to win more than one superlative. 

Everyone who meets him expects great things from him. His teachers, his classmates, his friends, his parents, his neighbours - when he went off to college, they expected him to return to his hometown as a mogul.

It’s a lot of pressure on a person.

And Jaehyun is…coping...at best.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come out with us?” 

Jaehyun doesn’t have time to look up at Johnny to respond. He continues to spin his highlighter around his fingers as he flips a page in his notebook, “I’m good, man.”

“Taeyong’s coming,” Johnny hesitates at the end of his sentence and even with Jaehyun’s eyes glued to the page, it makes him smile a little. 

“You don’t need me to wingman you, he stares at you like he’s waiting for you to bend him over and propose,” Jaehyun murmurs as he highlights another line. The neon yellow is making his eyes burn. 

“Jesus, dude.” 

He has to glance up for half a second just to confirm the blush rising on his roommate’s face. It’s pretty cute that he has a puppy crush on his friend. 

“I have three major papers due this month, an exam, and a presentation. I really can’t go out, man. Next time.”

“Dude, you say that all the time. I know you gotta study but you need to relax too. You should enjoy your 20s,” Johnny’s a little tipsy from pre-gaming, Jaehyun’s a little jealous because Johnny doesn’t need to bury his head in books every second of the day to get good grades. 

Jaehyun presses his lips together and fights the urge to roll his eyes. It doesn’t help the stress building over him when, on top of his academics, people want him to be social and carefree by attending every party and event that gets hosted. 

It’s too much.

He constantly feels his heart racing and his head spinning when he thinks of his course load. He loses the most weight during the semester and he gains it back the fastest during breaks because he can’t find time to eat between study groups, tutorials, and classes. 

If he went to this party with Johnny, he’d spend the entire time thinking about all the work he could’ve been doing if he stayed in. 

“Next time, Johnny.”

Johnny stares at him for a long time before he walks over and squeezes his shoulder, “I really think you should come, but if you need to get work done, I get it. Here’s where the party’s happening, if you need a break, swing by. There are some people I want to introduce you to.”

Jaehyun picks up the scrap of paper with an address scribbled on it. It’s not too far from his apartment but he doesn’t have time to even think about it, “wait, you want to introduce someone to me? That’s new.”

“Ha ha, you’re so funny, “ Johnny deadpans, “text me if you change your mind, okay?” 

Jaehyun hums and waves as Johnny shoves his shoes on and slips out the door.  

And back to the books he goes.

————

It’s 2AM when Jaehyun caves. 

When the information stops sticking, he knows that he has to take a break. Not because he’s looking out for himself but because he’s not productive otherwise. He figures that a little bit of fresh air would wake him up enough to get him back in the headspace to actually retain information. 

If he leaves at 2AM, he can be back before 3AM and get two more hours of reading in.

He changes into something slightly decent for going out and follows Google Maps to a frat house across campus. 

Of course. 

Johnny has never joined or rushed a frat a day in his life but naturally is so well connected that he gets invited to all the parties. 

He doesn’t know how he does it.

It's probably the charisma...or his height.

It’s a rager even on a Tuesday night. He weaves his way through the house, hoping to catch sight of Johnny who he texted before he arrived. 

“Jae!”

Oh, he’s drunk. 

Johnny always pulls out ‘Jae’ when he’s loaded

Jaehyun makes it over to them and accepts the bear hug that Johnny drowns him in. He’s vibrating and beaming with a thousand-watt smile, “hey buddy! I’m so glad you came, holy shit! I thought I was seeing things!”

“Yeah, yeah, I needed a break.”

Johnny’s smile grows as he reaches out to bring someone close, “you know, Taeyong.”

“Of course, hey Taeyong, you’re looking stunning as usual,” Jaehyun kisses him on the cheek and gives him a hug. 

There was something about Taeyong that was always so elegant and classy, a kiss on the cheek always seemed appropriate shy of bowing and kissing him on the hand. 

“It’s nice to see you,” Taeyong smiles and leans into Johnny’s side sipping a glass of champagne. 

He’s not sure where or how he got champagne and a champagne flute at a frat party. 

Classy. 

Taeyong presses a kiss on Johnny’s cheek, “I’ll be back, I’m going to go see Doyoung.”

Johnny nods and watches him slip away before turning to Jaehyun and clapping his hands together, “okay, I’m so glad you’re here, there’s someone I want to introduce you to.”

“I just got here, let me get a drink or something first,” Jaehyun grumbles as he eyes everyone’s cup. 

“I don’t know how long you’ll be here before you sneak out,” Johnny grabs his arm and drags him away, "and he's an elusive motherfucker too, so it's a miracle you're both here at the same time."

Curiosity gets a hold of him as he follows behind Johnny, maneuvering through the crowd until they make it to the other side of the house where someone is leaning up against a wall.

“Jae, this is Yuta.”

Johnny steps to the side and it takes a moment for Jaehyun’s eyes to adjust to the pulsing lights before they land on him.

Oh, fuck.

He’s gorgeous. 

Yuta has a shock of long red hair half tied up with a million silver bobby pins glinting under the lights to match the earrings along the cuff of his ear. He’s wearing an oversized shirt that’s half-buttoned up so that the tattoos on his chest peek through. It takes a minute before Jaehyun’s eyes trail below the belt and he swears he doesn’t salivate at the sight of skin-tight ripped jeans. 

It’s a shock to his central nervous system because he can’t remember the last time he allowed himself to be attracted to someone. And he is attracted to Yuta.

There is no doubt about that. 

Jaehyun hasn’t dated since high school but this type of slow, sensual sex appeal is quickly becoming his type. Desire and want are foreign concepts to him but the presence of Yuta makes him familiar, fast.

“Yuta, this is my roommate and best friend, Jaehyun.”

Yuta’s looks up from his phone and his eyes widen in recognition for a second before his smirk grows, “golden boy.”

Jaehyun blinks, confused, but Johnny laughs and slaps Yuta on the back, “that’s right. This is the guy I told you about. Jung Jaehyun, the smartest person I know.”

Yuta holds out a hand and Jaehyun cringes at how clammy his own hand is when he reaches out and shakes hands with him, “nice to meet you.”

“Johnny speaks very highly of you,” his voice is sultry or maybe it’s the dripping smirk. Or hell, maybe Jaehyun is just hallucinating all of it.

“He’s a kiss ass,” Jaehyun says back. 

Johnny chuckles but Jaehyun only hears Yuta’s laugh and the line of his throat when he tilts his head back. 

“How do you know Johnny?”

Yuta glances at Johnny and they share an amused grin, “Yuta’s my plug.”

Plug. 

Jaehyun’s mind comes up blank as he tries to make sense of it. He has an extensive vocabulary but he can’t make sense of what a ‘plug’ is in this context.

He can’t help but blurt it out, “plug?”

Yuta tilts his head with that same teasing grin, “of the recreational variety.” 

“Rec—" it finally clicks and he can’t help the speed at which he snaps his head and looks over at Johnny. 

He has a shit-eating grin, “how do you think I’m so chill all the time?”

It takes way too long for Jaehyun to make sense of any of this. He figured if Johnny smoked weed Jaehyun would've been able to tell.

“Oh,” he said dumbly, “I had no idea.”

Johnny shrugs, “it helps, you know, with the stress.”

Jaehyun still feels his brain playing catch-up so he just nods, “sure.”

Jaehyun spares a glance at Yuta and feels his stomach clench when he catches his assessing gaze moving slowly up his body. He gulps when Yuta’s eyes finally make it to his and instead of looking away, flustered that he was caught checking him out, Yuta just grins. 

Yuta raises his brow, almost like a challenge, Jaehyun backs down first and looks away. Yuta’s stare feels knowing and heavy like it can touch him and feel his blushed skin. It’s too much, he feels like he can’t breathe all of a sudden. 

Johnny clears his throat obnoxiously and it snaps him out of it. He looks up and finds Johnny’s buzzed smile staring back at him, it’s nearly blinding. 

“What is that stupid look for?” Jaehyun mutters with a scowl. 

Johnny slaps on a look of innocence, “I was just thinking, you know, blazing up helped me with the pressure and anxiety and maybe it could help you with yours.”

Jaehyun blinks heavily and frowns, Yuta’s beauty is distracting and makes it hard to focus, “what do you mean?”

The air punches out his lungs when he feels Yuta’s hand, warm and firm, slide around his waist so he can lean close and whisper in his ear, “he wants to know if you want me to be your plug too.”

Feeling Yuta’s exhale down his neck makes the edges of Jaehyun’s brain so fuzzy. He leans away so that he can get a better look at Yuta. He swipes his tongue against his lips and lets out a breath when Yuta’s eyes follow the movement. 

“I can make you feel real good if you let me, baby,” Yuta croons, his thumb stroking slowly up and down the side of his waist. 

Baby.

He is not going to get half-hard at someone’s house party. 

He is not.

God, he already feels like he’s getting a contact high. Is that even possible?

“Uhh…” his throat is dry, “I’m good. I’m okay.”

Yuta’s smile grows and he squeezes Jaehyun’s hip, “alright, golden boy, whatever you want. If you change your mind, Johnny knows where you can find me, yeah?”

Jaehyun feels like he's shaking out of his skin, “um, y-yeah. Sure.”

Yuta gives me one more long look before letting go of Jaehyun and stepping away. He gives Johnny one of those weird jock handshakes and nods at him, “see you around, Suh.”

Jaehyun might be a bookworm but he’s still a man. He watches Yuta as he walks away and nearly goes insane at the rip in his jeans strategically placed under his ass. He can’t look away even after Yuta disappears in the crowd.

“Fuck,” he doesn’t realize he’s whispered it out loud until Johnny laughs. 

“He’s hot, right?” Johnny snickers when Jaehyun looks away. 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes but he feels like a live wire, “whatever, where’s Taeyong?”

“Mmmm,” Johnny smirks and it’s night and day compared to Yuta. Jaehyun follows Johnny’s line of sight and finds Taeyong on the other end of it. Taeyong’s staring back with a wide grin and a few bruises on his neck that he didn’t notice earlier. 

Jaehyun gasps and looks at Johnny, “you finally made a move!”

“I’m going to be a taken man soon,” Johnny said, his eyes glazed over and his grin dopey. 

Jaehyun quickly grabs a beer from a cooler nearby. He needs to get drunk if he’s going to deal with Johnny’s lovesick face. He’d been hung up on Taeyong since freshman year and he was happy that he finally got him but god, he did not give up a night of review for this. 

“Maybe you will be too,” Johnny’s back to looking like a menace. 

Jaehyun raises his brows as he takes a sip, “what are you talking about?”

Johnny roots around in his jeans and pulls something out, “here, take it.”

“How many scraps of paper do you carry around in your pocket?” Jaehyun snorts as he takes it from him. There’s a phone number on it.

“You should call him,” Johnny prompts. 

He tucks the scrap away, “I don’t know, dude.”

Having any sort of relationship feels unfathomable now. 

“No, man, not to ask him out, I mean, yeah if you want to, but I mean to call him for his services.”

Jaehyun huffs and when he understands, “I don’t need to smoke weed.”

"Consider it. You don’t even need to smoke it. Yuta does edibles too,” Johnny nudges his shoulder with his elbow, “you’re burning yourself out. You make yourself sick with how stressed you get with school. You still have 2 years to go and the stress will only get worse. I want you to look out for yourself more and chill out for fuck's sake.”

Jaehyun softens, “it’s not that bad, John.”

“Yeah, it is.”

Jaehyun feels his heart sink at the sombre tone in his voice. Johnny sighs and rubs his eyes in an attempt to sober up, “I’ve known you for a long time and you’re not doing well, Jaehyun. You coming out tonight was the first time in months you’ve done something outside of studying and working and you’re still anxious. You don’t need to get high but you need to do something to balance out.”

“Okay, I get it, can we drop it? Let’s just have a good night,” Jaehyun deflects and he knows Johnny sees through him but he’s relieved when Johnny nods and slings his arm around his shoulder. 

“By the way,” Johnny says in his ear as he leads them toward Taeyong, “his ears aren’t the only part of his body that’s pierced.”

Jaehyun nearly blacks out. 

————

It’s not to say that Jaehyun’s priorities change but he starts taking more frequent study breaks. 

When the words start to blur together and when his eyes dry, he begins to feel a restless itch under his skin. 

And Johnny starts capitalizing on that.

It’s definitely not because of a certain dealer whose eyes haunt him during his 3 hour stress naps.

No, when Jaehyun puts in extra effort to get dressed up when he’s hopped up on 8 extra shots of espresso and 4 hours of sleep, it’s not because he’s hoping to run into a certain redhead. 

He walks into yet another crowded house party and his eyes immediately go for a sweep of the room. It’s become common practice to search. 

Because he wants to find Johnny. Obviously. 

“You’re here.”

Jaehyun holds his breath for a second but lets it out when he turns and finds Taeyong smiling at him instead of...never mind. 

“Hey—um yeah I figured I could use a break. Is Johnny around?”

Taeyong’s eyes are glassy but there’s something intense and all-seeing about them. Like a tipsy oracle in glitter eyeshadow. He's perfect for Johnny, “he volunteered for a booze run. He should be back soon. Drink with me?”

You don’t say no to Taeyong. 

How can you? When he looks at you with those sparkly watery eyes and precious baby girl pout. 

“Unless you’re looking for someone else?”

Sometimes Taeyong is so sweet that you forget that there’s a reason he is so compatible with Johnny. He has the same amount of overly observant fucker in him. 

Jaehyun grits his teeth at Taeyong’s knowing smile, “lead the way.”

They trek their way through crowds of people who seem to part to let Taeyong glide through. He ends up with a cup of something pink and overly sweet. 

“‘M sorry if I’m keeping you from something. I just never see you out at these things and whenever you are, Johnny whisks you away,” Taeyong mumbles as he sways to the music pulsing through the house.

Jaehyun softens, it’s impossible not to when it comes to Taeyong. He fears the power Johnny will hold over him once he and Taeyong join forces, “it’s fine. I’ve just been busy and wanted a change in scenery. I'm here, you have my attention.”

Taeyong’s eyes sharpen and suddenly the soft little lamb grows fangs, “two nights out in a month, either your stress levels are off the charts or you’re not just here for a change in scenery.”

Jaehyun stiffens because just as the words leave Taeyong’s mouth, he catches a flash of fire red from the side of his eye. He can’t help himself when his gaze goes a little crazy, spasming around the room trying to relocate it.

“Looking for someone?” Taeyong purrs in his ear with a knowing smile. 

Jaehyun chokes out a laugh, feigning confusion but before he can verbalize his denial, his eyes snap up over Taeyong’s shoulder. 

There. 

Yuta doesn’t seem to notice him and just strides past, heading off deeper into the house. He looks beautiful, hair tied half up with a leather jacket stretched over his shoulder.

Taeyong hums with a smile and continues chattering away knowing Jaehyun is barely listening. 

He watches Yuta out of the side of his eyes for most of the night.  

He feels like prey that needs to know the predator's location at all times. Yuta never really approaches him, he just hovers in his periphery and while they don’t interact, Jaehyun swears he feels Yuta’s gaze sliding up and down his body multiple times throughout the night. 

Jaehyun tries to be surreptitious when he spots Yuta chatting with people. It’s a pattern, Yuta never seeks out company, people are just drawn to him and flock to his side. 

Makes sense when Yuta looks so mouth-watering. 

He’s wearing jeans that are more ripped than they are whole. He lost the leather jacket somewhere along the way and instead has a basic plain white T-shirt on with the sleeves rolled up and it’s so simple but all Jaehyun can see is arms!

At some point, Jaehyun loses sight of him and figures Yuta may have wandered to the backyard.

Johnny eventually comes back with his arms full of liquor. He finds them a little later, a slow hand curving around Taeyong’s waist who melts immediately into his chest, “I almost thought I was seeing things. Jaehyun, what finally managed to bring you out and into the light?"

Taeyong’s eyes glaze over as he nuzzles into Johnny like a sleep happy kitten, “Jaehyun’s horny for Yuta.”

“No fucking shit,” Johnny’s grin is shit eating and awful.

Jaehyun huffs and looks away, “he’s drunk.”

“Drunk, not blind,” Taeyong coos as he drapes his arms over Johnny’s shoulder, hanging off of him, “Jaehyun wants to mouth kiss Yuta and gay marry himmmmm!”

“Jesus,” Jaehyun mutters under Johnny’s laugh. 

Johnny’s giggles die down before he nudges his friend with his elbow, “you buy off him yet?”

“No,” he grumbles with his eyes firm to the ground, “I just came out to have a good time. Looks like that’ll be a challenge.”

Johnny raised his brow, “he’s been asking about you. But I’m sure you don’t care, you know, since you’re only out for a good time.”

It takes herculean strength to resist the urge to ask what Yuta’s been saying about him.

“I’m getting another drink away from you fuckers,” he mutters before shuffling anywhere other than the sound of them cackling.

Jaehyun wanders into the kitchen and freezes when he sees Yuta behind the kitchen island, handing a guy a baggie of something while pocketing a wad of cash. 

He isn’t sure what he should do, if he should slowly back away or if doing so would just pull more attention to him. 

Before he can decide, Yuta’s eyes flicker over his buyer’s shoulder and land directly on him. His lips part in shock for a moment before they quirk up in a smile. 

The guy he’s with doesn’t notice right away, “when will you get your nex—“

“Leave,” Yuta says it quietly without looking away from Jaehyun.

His buyer, who looks barely over 21, sputters, “wait but—“

“I said leave or I’ll never sell to you again,” his voice comes out in a curling growl. 

Safe to say he scurries away without a second glance. 

Once they’re alone, Yuta’s face softens and warms. 

“Hey, golden boy.”

Jaehyun shifts nervously when it’s just the two of them before he shuffles over, “hey, um, good sale?”

“Can’t complain. Why? Interested?” Yuta smirks as he leans against the fridge. 

He looks at his empty cup and laughs lightly, only a little awkward, “not today. You know, for someone who’s around a lot of pot, you don’t really smell like it.”

Yuta gasps dramatically, “you’re smelling me? You better get up real close if you want a good whiff.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and relaxes a little. Yuta leans over and grabs a bottle of vodka off the counter, “want me to top you off?”

“Sure.”

Yuta gets right in Jaehyun’s space, invades it, owns it. Jaehyun lets out a slow breath as he tilts the bottle into his cup while holding eye contact, “say when.”

He’s so pretty up close. 

Jaehyun gulps as he counts the lashes on Yuta’s face and clears a little space in his fried brain to store the picture of his smile. 

“I said say when, baby.”

His voice is soft but a little firm and it grounds him. Jaehyun snaps out of it and sees already half the cup full, “shit. That’s too much.”

“Here, let me cut it,” he says as he pours pineapple juice in the rest of the cup.

Jaehyun takes a small sip and winces at how strong it is before he passes it to Yuta to take it off his hands, “sorry, I just have a late night when I get back and an early morning, don’t think I can take anything this strong.”

Yuta raises a brow and takes a sip for him. Jaehyun has to bite down on his tongue to avoid making a noise at the sight of his pink tongue pressing to the rim of the cup.

“It’s already 2AM, so what, you’re going to go back home and keep studying? And then wake up early and do it again?” Yuta asks with a tilt of his head. His hair grazes his shoulder and Jaehyun desperately wants to reach over and brush it aside.

Jaehyun’s hands feel empty, “just…have a lot I’m juggling.”

“You work so hard, though. You could relax, and spoil yourself. You’ve more than earned it,” Yuta’s voice comes out like a small purr and it makes him a little delirious, “you’re so good. So sweet. You deserve it.”

“How would you know?” He murmurs softly, fighting off a shiver threatening to curl down his spine. 

Yuta lets out a breathy laugh, “how can I not? You competed in a debate tournament, tutored freshmen for midterms and presented at a national conference in the same week. No one works harder than you. You should be so proud.”

“How…how do you know about all that?” His heart is pounding. Jaehyun doesn’t have a big social media presence nor does he publicly post about the events he’s a part of. 

Yuta leans close, his breath hot against his ear, “I’ve known about you longer than you’ve known about me.”

Jaehyun pulls back just so he can look him in the eyes, “wait…so that party when Johnny introduced us…”

“Not the first time I’ve noticed you,” he says behind the red cup, “can you blame me? Johnny tells me about his cute, overworked roommate that he wants to help chill out and I get curious. Then I saw you and knew…”

“Knew what?” Jaehyun feels like he’s going to die. 

Yuta doesn’t answer and just pokes a finger into his dimple and refuses to elaborate, “Johnny didn’t do you justice. Prettiest thing in the world, aren’t you?”

The heat explodes across his face and it makes Yuta gasp, his eyes sparkling. His ring-covered fingers trail across the shell of his ear in awe, “pink as a peach.”

God, something bad is happening to Jaehyun, his brain is getting fuzzy around the edges, and everything becoming plush and foggy. 

“Umm…” he struggles to find the words. 

Yuta’s fingers trail off his ear, down his arm and hook his finger on Jaehyun’s belt loop tugging him close, “next time you’re craving a break, come find me. Let me smoke you out, pretty boy.”

“Okay,” he said, dumb with his pupils blown open. 

Yuta opens his mouth but gets cut off when Jaehyun’s phone blares out an alarm. He fumbles with his phone and slides off his alarm, “shit, sorry. It’s a study reminder, I need to head back.”

He’s a little relieved that Yuta doesn’t try to convince him to stay because he isn’t sure how strong he is to resist. 

“It was nice seeing you,” Jaehyun says softly.

Yuta smiles and lets his touch fall off Jaehyun, “have a good night, then. Try not to stay up too late.”

Jaehyun makes no promises so when he goes to walk past him, Yuta catches his wrist, “you still have my number, right?”

“From Johnny, yeah,” Jaehyun’s throat feels dry. 

Yuta’s smile feels like a smirk as he squeezes Jaehyun's wrist tightly, “good.”

“Why?” Jaehyun just has to ask. 

Yuta's eyes fall on his mouth before he answers. 

“No reason. But I’ll wait for your call, baby.”

————

It’s never been this bad before. 

Jaehyun has never been this bad before.

He hasn’t slept in 72 hours except for an hour-long nap. He’s lived off of coffee and energy bars. He hasn’t showered yet. He’s jittery from the caffeine, his leg won’t stop taking and his heart won’t stop racing for more than a second. 

His workload was bad enough as it was but he was scheduling himself so that he could manage it. But last week he was slammed with last-minute assignments and quizzes and he didn’t know how to fit everything in a regular day. 

It all fell apart when the study guide he was trying to print out jams in his printer and the entire thing just freaks out and refuses to function. He had tried to fix it with a great amount of patience. He looked up videos and tried to get the online support chatbot to help and nothing worked. 

When the entire printer refuses to even turn on, it breaks him.

He just starts crying on the floor of the apartment. 

Jaehyun holds his head in his hands and sobs and sobs until his head hurts and his throat is sore. It feels monumental.

It shouldn’t be this hard. He isn’t in med school or law school, he’s doing his undergrad degree, how is it this hard? How come everyone else seems to be doing just fine, enjoying college like it’s one big party?

Maybe this isn’t for him, maybe he should just drop out and find something else to do with his life that doesn’t suck the soul out of him.

Jaehyun searches for his phone, he knows Johnny’s out on his first date with Taeyong and he doesn't want to bother him but he needs help. He needs someone to ground him and stop him from this meltdown. 

When he pulls his phone out from under a stack of paper, something flutters to the ground. 

It’s Yuta’s number. 

Jaehyun overthinks every decision in his life, even the minor ones. 

Jaehyun’s brain doesn’t stop whirring, even when he’s asleep. 

This time, he just acts. 

 

Me:

hey, it’s jaehyun - johnny’s roommate from the party

 

He’s so grateful when a reply comes faster than his rationality can talk him out of it. 

 

Yuta:

how could i forget. what can i do for you, golden boy?

 

Jaehyun swallows the stone down his throat as he types out his reply.

 

Me:

i wanna take you up on your offer

 

The three dots flicker for 4 minutes and he stares at the bubble like it holds the answers to all life’s questions. 

When Yuta responds, it’s just an address. 

————

Jaehyun doesn’t bother cleaning up his appearance at all. 

The only thing he’s changed are his shoes that he swapped in favour of his house slippers. His face is probably still swollen from crying, his eyes red, his clothes wrinkled and stained with coffee, he doesn’t care. 

He just needs someone to turn his brain off and make everything easy. 

Jaehyun just turns up on his doorstep and instead of knocking, he texts that he’s arrived and waits. When Yuta opens the door, Jaehyun feels his shoulder drop and something small unwind in his chest. 

“Hey, golden boy,” Yuta purrs as he leans up against his door frame, “didn’t think I’d hear from you.”

It wasn’t the booze talking. 

Stone cold sober and he’s still the most devastatingly attractive man Jaehyun has seen. 

He’s in a tank top with his tattoos on display and a grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips. Jaehyun wants him in a visceral way. He’s so strikingly beautiful.

Jaehyun’s running on such little sleep that he isn’t sure his body is doing what his brain thinks it is when he tries to smile at him. Yuta’s eyes immediately narrow and he nudges the door open, “come in.”

When he steps in, it kinda sinks in that he’s standing in the apartment of Johnny’s dealer or technically, Jaehyun’s dealer from now on. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, maybe a dark, dingy apartment smelling of stale marijuana. It’s a surprise to see that the place is clean and actually decorated, slightly smelling like vanilla. 

“It’s nice,” he murmurs. It’s different than Jaehyun and Johnny’s place. Everything that gives their place personality came from Johnny. Jaehyun’s room looks like how it did when he first moved in, he just never invested much in making his house a home. 

Yuta hums and leans against his kitchen island, watching him move around, “so, what brought you to my doorstep, baby?”

“Weed,” Jaehyun says with a blink. 

Yuta snorts and inches close to him, “there’s a lot of different types of weed I can get you.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun widens his eyes and he fidgets. The impulsive burst of confidence fizzles as quickly as it came. He feels out of his depth, “um, I kinda just assumed that there was just one standard type of weed.”

Yuta pouts but his eyes are fired up, “you're a weed virign, aren’t you?”

“God, don’t say that,” Jaehyun says with a grimace. He doesn’t want to hear Yuta of all people calling him a virgin.

Yuta’s laugh rumbles from the base of his chest, “well aren’t you? I assumed since you lived with Johnny that maybe you shared his stash.”

“I only found out that night at the party, actually,” Jaehyun rubs the back of his neck and shifts on the balls of his feet, “can’t I get whatever you get Johnny?”

Yuta tugs on the corner of Jaehyun’s shirt and tilts his head to meet his embarrassed gaze, “he gets the strong stuff, I think you need a gradual start.”

“Okay, so what should I get?” He’s getting antsy, he was hoping he’d be in and out and back in his apartment to keep studying within 30 minutes. 

Yuta hums, “did you do any research? Some strain you might like? Indica, sativa, hybrid, do those words mean anything to you?”

“No,” he’s getting agitated. He just wants the blunt or whatever. 

“Follow me,” Yuta says as he takes his hand and leads him into his bedroom. 

Yuta’s bedroom is as nice as the rest of his place but there’s a lot more marijuana memorabilia for lack of a better word. Yuta sits on the edge of his bed and pulls out a box from his bedside table. 

“There’s three main strains or types. The difference is how much THC and/or CBD is in it. That tells you what the general effect it’ll have on you is,” he explains, “indica, sativa, hybrid and ruderalis are the different types of cannabis plants.”

Jaehyun feels pulsing behind his eyes and where he’d normally feel grateful for the thorough explanation, it’s just making him impatient. He just wants the pain to go away. Why can’t Yuta just do that?

“Are you looking to chill out, help your sleep, deal with stress or anxiety or like all of the above?”

He doesn’t mean to snap, he really doesn’t know where the anger comes from and he feels immediate regret when it comes out of his mouth, “I just didn’t think it would be a fucking chemistry lesson just to get you to give me some weed. I just want to stop feeling so wound up and shut my head up for one second. Can’t yo—“

He gets cut off when a tissue gets shoved up his nose. For a second, he thinks he’s being chloroformed except he’s still conscious. 

“Wh—“

“Your nose is bleeding, babe. Sit down, tilt your head forward,” Yuta’s voice is calm and soothing as he guides him down to sit next to him on his bed. 

“I’ll get you some water.”

He feels Yuta stand and walk out. He pulls the tissue away and groans when he sees splotches of blood. He presses it back to his nose and leans forwards. He hears Yuta’s footsteps and the sound of glass being set down. 

“Let me see,” Yuta says as he grips Jaehyun’s wrist and guides it away from his face. Jaehyun blinks blearily at him but Yuta just grins at him, “still handsome as hell.”

Jaehyun just groans and lets Yuta wipe his nose with a damp towel, “looks like the bleeding stopped. But you should take it easy.” 

He hands Jaehyun a glass of water and watches him carefully sip at it, “when’s the last time you slept?”

“Um…Wednesday?”

Yuta’s eyes widened, smirk wiped off, “that was like three days ago.”

“So, now you know why I need that weed.”

Yuta takes the glass from him once it’s empty and manhandles Jaehyun until he’s laying down under his blanket, “what are you doing?”

“What you need is sleep. You’re going to take a nap until you’re not at risk of bleeding out through your nose.”

“No, I need to go back. Can I just buy like 100 grams and get out of here?” He isn’t fighting back, not really. Not when this pillow is so soft and the blankets are fluffed around him. 

Yuta hovers over him, their foreheads brushing together, “I’m not going to let my nosebleeding sleep-deprived and over-caffeinated golden boy get high for the first time alone in his apartment. I like to be gentle when it’s someone’s first time. I like to prep them, ease them in, make sure they’re relaxed and have a good time. I wanna make sure they can’t smoke with anyone else without thinking about me.”

“Are you talking about weed or something else?”

Yuta grins widely and he’s breath-taking, “get some sleep and maybe I’ll tell you when you wake up.”

————

When Jaehyun wakes up, it’s with a start and filled with dread. 

What time was it?

He fumbles for his phone and squints when his home screen blinds him.

11:00PM

Five hours.

He’s been asleep for five hours. 

Five hours that he could’ve been studying, revising, writing papers. 

“Fuck!”

He shoves the blankets aside and almost cracks his knee stumbling out before rushing out of the bedroom. 

“Hey, are you alright?”

Jaehyun flinches when he runs into Yuta, “sorry, I’m sorry, I need to go. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, take a breath. You’re good. Want me to take you home?” Yuta’s eyes are all earnest and warm and Jaehyun just needs to leave.

“No, I need to go. I’ll run. I’m sorry, I’m embarrassed and thank you for helping me with the nosebleed.” 

He runs out of there before Yuta can say anything.

————

Yuta:

did you get home okay, golden boy?

are you okay?

text me when you get in please, just want to make sure you’re safe

can you let john know? he can text me.

baby?

————

Jaehyun shuts his phone down, he just throws himself into work and powers through his study plan at a frightening rate. 

Johnny, who Yuta must’ve texted, checks on him and makes sure he sleeps and eats enough to not get another nosebleed. 

Weeks go by like this. 

It must get bad because Johnny deploys Taeyong to come over and lure him into having a movie night in the living room. 

Somehow, by the skin of his teeth, he makes it through the other side of hell month. 

It feels like an out-of-body experience when he walks out of his last exam with the knowledge that at least for a little while, he has nothing he needs to do after this. No papers, no flash cards, no readings. 

There’s only one thing he really has on his to-do list and he isn’t looking forward to it.

He doesn’t have time to prepare for it when he walks out of his exam with his bag slung over his shoulder and finds Yuta on his phone leaning against the wall across the hallway. 

He knows he needs to apologize. He showed up at Yuta’s apartment, snapped at him, bled on his rug, passed out for hours, ran away and then refused to talk to him after. 

It’s the least he can do but he was hoping that he’d have time to collect himself and figure out exactly what he was going to say. 

Steeling himself, he walks over to Yuta and clears his throat, “hey.”

He expects the cold shoulder or maybe indifference, so he’s a little surprised when Yuta looks up at him and smiles. 

Yuta is so pretty, so intimidating, so sexy - he could cry. 

“Well, well, well if it isn’t the elusive golden boy, how are you?” It doesn’t sound mean, just teasing, and he feels himself ease up a bit. 

He’s nervous when he answers, “um, I’m good. Better.”

Yuta’s lips lift and he reaches out and slides Jaehyun’s glasses off his face and puts them on top of his hair. It’s adorable.

“Good, you look relaxed,” he says with a smile. 

“I actually wanted to apologize,” Jaehyun starts and he feels his stomach churn. This feels worse than a thousand exams. 

Yuta tilts his head with a little frown, “you have nothing to apologize for.”

“Yuta, I ran out on you after causing you so much trouble,” he says, exasperated. 

He snorts incredulously, “trouble? You fell asleep in my bed. Johnny’s done worse and I don’t even find him half as cute.”

“But still. I was a dick.”

“And maybe I overwhelmed you with a crash course on pot that you didn’t ask for. You’re so smart that I thought a more clinical approach to pot might be easier for you. Clearly, I miscalculated.”

“Okay, can we just…”

“Yeah,” Yuta says with a smile, “let’s call it even.”

Jaehyun feels his shoulders droop in relief, “good. I’m glad.”

Yuta watches him with a slow smile, “what’s the rest of your schedule like today?”

“Um… uncharacteristically free actually,” he was thinking of doing some laundry, maybe stopping by the gym for a quick workout and getting some groceries but he can’t really convince himself to tell Yuta. 

“Wanna come over and give it another go?”

————

It’s a bit odd being inside Yuta’s apartment in the middle of the day, not in the midst of a mental breakdown.

“Want anything to drink?” Yuta calls as he drops his keys on the kitchen counter as he walks in. 

Jaehyun hovers unsurely before nodding, “sure.”

“Make yourself comfortable,” Yuta calls from the kitchen. 

Jaehyun hums and goes to sit on the couch when Yuta’s voice picks up again, “go to my room.”

He stiffens and tries to peer around the corner where Yuta is pattering around, “what?”

“It’s more comfortable and I don’t smoke in the living room,” he says. 

Jaehyun winces when he rips the skin on his lip with his teeth. He hesitates a second and somehow, Yuta senses it. It’s bizarre how in such a short time, he gets such a good read on him, “or we can do whatever you’re comfortable with. Watch a movie or something.”

He steels himself and stands, “bedroom’s fine, to the left?”

“Yeah, that photographic memory live in action, huh?” He can see Yuta’s dripping grin in his mind.

Jaehyun scoffs and just shuffles into Yuta’s bedroom. It’s the same since he was last in here except he wasn’t passed out under the covers. Even the lighting, Yuta has blackout curtains, the only thing illuminating his path is the purple LED lamp and a singular candle. 

He sits gingerly on the edge of the bed and waits patiently for Yuta to return. It’s bizarre being here, surreal even. He wonders for a moment if he should’ve sat on the ground or on the chair by Yuta’s desk. Before he can spiral, Yuta nudges his way, kicking the door shut behind him with his foot as he carries a mug in. 

“You’re insane, you left a lit candle on when you left the house?” Jaehyun blurts as he takes the warm cup of tea from him and holds it in his hands.

Yuta grins and reaches up and pinches the flame between his fingers, “flamless, c’mon, give me some credit.”

Jaehyun scoffs and hides his embarrassed face behind his mug, he watches carefully as Yuta bends and pulls a box from under his bed. He pulls out an altoid tin where five pre-rolls sit like sardines in a can. 

“So is this your career plan? Open up a dispensary in California? Put the white weed moms out of business?” he asks while taking a hearty sip. The tea is perfect, sweet and soothing, it warms him from the inside out. 

Yuta’s lips hitch as he stretches over to grab the ceramic ashtray off his bedside table to place in it next to him. The reach causes his shirt to ride up exposing a butterfly tattooed on his hip. Jaehyun salivates as he stares at it, “I’m actually an Accounting major. Boring and stereotypical.”

“Oh, no shit,” Jaehyun blurts. He didn’t know what he expected with the tattoos, ripped jeans and recreational hobbies. Probably an art major or something that provides a bit more freedom and creativity, “I guess it helps with the sales and profits.”

Yuta actually laughs this time before gingerly placing a singular joint on the ash tray with a lighter set down next to it, “yeah, easier to put together my balance sheet of weed related assets and liabilities.”

Jaehyun loosens up as Yuta’s long fingers slip through his hands and pull the mug out of his grasp, “so, ready?”

His hands chill without the warm of the mug but they thaw quickly as his palms sweat, “yeah, um, but maybe no explanation this time? Just light me up.”

“You trust me that much, pretty boy?” Yuta raises a brow with a smirk. 

Jaehyun huffs, “yeah and if you fuck me up, Johnny’ll bang down your door looking for blood.”

“Hmm, we don’t want that, do we?”

Jaehyun gulps as he watches the veins on the back of Yuta’s hands flex and shift as he holds the joint between two fingers and flicks the lighter on. He holds it to the end and lights it before holding it up to Jaehyun’s mouth, “don’t worry, I’ll guide you through it. Just do what I say.”

That immediately drains any remaining tension out of him. The idea that this was one less thing for him to overthink and over analyze, and that all he needed to do was follow instructions takes the pressure off of him. 

“Okay,” he mutters. He reaches up for the joint but Yuta pulls it away just as his fingers brushes it.

“Ah, I didn’t tell you to take it, did I?”

Jaehyun blinks and looks at him, confusion reflecting in his eyes. Yuta just smiles, “don’t think, just lean forward and suck, golden boy.”

His throat dries and he’s glad he doesn’t do something stupid like get on his knees. Instead, leans closer and he does as he’s told. It’s immediately wrong. He breathes in too sharp, the smoke goes down wrong and burns uncomfortably making him jerk back and cough. 

Yuta’s hands stroke down his back as he pushes into Jaehyun’s space, “you’re okay, take a deep breath, cough it out.”

“Sorry,” Jaehyun gasps out as he tries to catch his breath. 

Yuta just runs his fingers through Jaehyun’s hair, slow and grounding, “nothing to apaologize for. Wanna try again or call it a day?”

“No, no,” Jaehyun’s lungs still burn but he feels better, “I want to try again.”

Yuta pulls back but he doesn’t move away. He stays close in Jaehyun’s space and brings the joint back up to lips, “this time let’s take it slow, yeah? Follow my lead.”

“M’kay,” Jaehyuun mumbles. 

Yuta smiles and it almost tastes fond. He has the joint in the V between pointer and middle finger while using his other fingers to grip Jaehyun’s jaw firmly, “first open your lips and put them around the base.”

Oh god.

Jaehyun breathes through his nose and wraps his lips around the joint. Yuta hums approvingly, his eyes lidded, “now take a slow breath and hold it.”

Jaehyun does just that. At first it feels fine, nice even, but then there’s an itch in his throat and his struggles to hold his breath much longer. He coughs again, the smoke puffing out of his mouth and into Yuta’s face, “oh fuck, I’m so sorry.”

Yuta’s eyes are a little glazed and Jaehyun wonders if the contact high was already getting to him, “smoking is a lot when you’re not used to it. The smell doesn’t always help either. Can I try something that might make it easier?”

“Sure,” Jaehyun says curiously.

“Do you trust me?” Yuta asks with a smirk. 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and fights down a grin, “reluctantly.”

The smile slides off Jaehyun’s face as he watches Yuta do the hottest thing he’d ever seen. 

Yuta keeps his eyes locked on Jaehyun and brings the joint up to his own mouth and takes a long drag. It’s quick and easy and he doesn’t choke or cough the way Jaehyun did. He just inhales, places the joint on the ashtray and grips Jaehyun by the back of his neck. 

He lets himself be pulled into Yuta’s orbit far too easily. And when Yuta’s thumb presses on Jaehyun’s bottom lip, urging his jaw slack, he doesn’t need to think. He just moves the way Yuta wants him. 

Yuta’s nose brushes against his and he tilts his head just enough to fit their mouth close without touching and then he exhales. 

“Breath it in for me,” he says breathlessly. 

Jaehyun obeys without question, shotgunning whatever Yuta gave him. The smoke that escapes both their mouths instead curls and billows around them. What he does catch, it goes down smoother this time but there’s still a bit of a burn.

“How do you feel?” Yuta’s thumb is still on his lip, digging into the plush skin and at some point his other hand landed on his hip, gripping tight. 

Jaehyun makes a weird sound as he fights through the haziness. But then he stops fighting because isn’t that the point? Isn’t the haziness what he wanted? 

It’s a slow release, to let go of the instinctual desire to be in control and of clear mind. It feels like lifting one finger at a time off of the grip around his chest. 

And then everything just fucking melts. 

“There you go,” Yuta purrs as his thumb leaves Jaehyun’s mouth. Each of Jaehyun’s blinks are heavy and sleep laden. 

“Feels good,” he sighs as he trails down each feature of Yuta’s face. The purple glow makes him look sensual and Jaehyun just wants to sink into him. 

“Yeah?” Yuta’s fingers slip under Jaehyun’s shirt and strokes at his hip, “doing such a good job, aren’t you? So fucking good at everything you do.”

Jaehyun shivers under the praise, his eyes going glossy as his organs turn into a puddle inside him, “more, please.”

Yuta’s eyes darken for a beat, his jaw tense before he picks up the joint, “anything for you.”

His eyes flutter shut and his jaw goes slack, opening up for him without being told. Yuta hums, pleased and looks up at Jaehyun from under his lashes as he takes a slow inhale from the joint. 

This time, when Yuta pulls him close, Jaehyun slides his thighs over his lap. The drag of denim on denim makes his head spin. 

Yuta doesn’t seem the least bit urgent despite holding his breath. He just wraps his hands around Jaehyun’s waist and yanks him deeper into his lap. It’s not a grind but the sensation rips a gasp out of Jaehyun at the same moment Yuta smokes him out. 

He doesn’t hear the moan escaping him nor does he realize that he’s leaned all his weight against Yuta to the point that their lips finally touch. 

“Baby,” Yuta groans, his eyes dazed as he stares down his nose at Jaehyun shifting in his lap. He brings the remaining joint to his mouth and takes a long drag until the joint is burnt down to his finger tips. 

Jaehyun doesn’t think he can take any more and it seems Yuta knows because he just lets the smoke wisp out through his teeth while staring as Jaehyun’s lips parted with wounded panting. 

Yuta was so hot, Jaehyun just wants to press against him and drool. 

He tosses the remaining stub of the joint on the ashtray and smiles a syrupy smile.

Jaehyun frowns at his collar, rubbing it between his fingers to feel the texture. It makes his skin tingle and itch. Yuta shifts and pulls them both properly onto the bed before leaning his back on the headboard. He settles Jaehyun on his lap, his legs spread over Yuta’s hips, and drags his palms up and down his thighs, “head feeling quieter?”

“S’always feels this good?”

Yuta tightens his grip on Jaehyun’s waist, “most of the time, yeah.”

Jaehyun tucks his face into the soft crook of Yuta’s neck. Despite being steeped in weed, his cologne is strong. Woodsy and mint. He sighs and snuggles in further. He can’t even wrap his mind around the work he has to get done, his GPA or the assignments that he’ll have to get started on soon. He’s just floating with a fucking care in the world. It feels amazing. 

“You feel so good,” Jaehyun nuzzles and takes another deep breath. 

Yuta’s knuckles stroke up and down his spine rhythmically, “so do you, baby. So warm, so sweet.”

Jaehyun shivers and without thinking, purses his lips and presses them against Yuta’s steady pulse. 

He feels Yuta’s chest rise with a sharp breath before he curls his fingers around his strands of hair and pulls. 

“Ahh—” the moan is quick and accidental. But the pain is so good, he turns gooey and soft in Yuta’s lap as his eyes struggle to stay open. 

“Careful, sweet thing,” Yuta’s voice should probably sound threatening but it just makes Jaehyun soar. 

Yuta lets go of his hair and slides his hand to cup Jaehyun’s cheek. He leans into his touch before forcing his eyes open. A punched out whimper escapes him when he sees Yuta’s pupils blown wide, his face dusted pink. 

Jaehyun’s lips lift in a half smile, “you’re pretty.”

Yuta’s eyes widen and his breath stutters in surprise. His ears look a little red. It makes Jaehyun keen, “you took my line.”

“‘M pretty?” He asks, lashes fluttering. 

Yuta smirks, “fishing for compliments, now? You’re breathtaking, always thought so. Since the day I first saw you.”

“Hmm at that party?”

Yuta’s thumb digs into the dimple on Jaehyun’s cheek, “no, not the first time I saw you.”

Jaehyun tilts his head and makes an inquisitive sound that makes Yuta smile, “2020 varsity swim team qualifiers. I was in the crowd watching the meet. Looked like a fucking Greek god. But then you stopped showing up and I learned you only competed for one season, thought I’d never see you again until Johnny told me his roommate’s name.”

“You’ve known me for nearly 3 years?” Jaehyun asks as he blinks back to reality. 

Yuta smiles, “just vaguely.”

“What a waste of 3 years,” Jaehyun mumbles before looping his arms around Yuta’s neck. He bumps their noses together and lets out another airy sigh. 

Yuta tilts his head a little and brushes their noses back and forth, “isn’t it?”

Jaehyun swipes his tongue against his bottom lip when he finds Yuta’s gaze on them. He tastes the air that puffs out of his mouth and suddenly he’s starved. 

He closes the little gap there is between them and kisses Yuta. 

A gruff groan tears out of his chest and his mouth moves with twice the eagerness. Yuta grazes his bottom lip with his teeth as Jaehyun scrapes his nails through his red hair, reveling against the soft touch. 

Small whimpers escape Jaehyun as Yuta’s hands scale up his back. Jaehyun opens his mouth and lets Yuta’s soft tongue press in.  

He shudders at the warm slick tongue that licks its way deeper and needier. Jaehyun slides his palms around Yuta’s neck and strokes at his jaw. 

Everything feels so much more intense and sensitive now. The glide of Yuta’s smooth skin under his thumb, the wet stroke of his tongue behind his teeth, Jaehyun can feel it in his lungs. His mind is clear, empty and the only thing he can think about is Yuta Yuta Yuta Yuta. 

He shifts closer, clenching at the fabric of his shirt and whines, high and needy. Jaehyun needs more, he needs to fuse himself to Yuta, feel his veins pulse the same blood, and live under his skin. 

He’s greedy for it. Desperate. 

Jaehyun doesn’t think about sex as much as other hot blooded men his age. He never had the mental bandwidth for it and with exhaustion chasing after his heels, his body didn’t have the bandwidth either. 

But now? 

Jaehyun can’t think of anything else beside Yuta laying him down and fucking him within an inch of his life. It gives him whiplash. 

Delirious, Jaehyun ruts his hips up and lets out a reedy moan when he feels Yuta harden cock against him. He feels so good, thick and warm even through the fabric of his denim. 

Suddenly, there’s a tight grip on his jaw and they’re being wrenched apart with a filthy wet smack. He can’t help the pathetic whine that leaves him. He wants more not less. 

“Easy, golden boy,” Yuta’s eyes are half lidded and his voice curls out in a growl. 

He knows he’s being bratty, “why? I wan’ it.”

“Fuck, baby. C’mon don’t do this to me,” Yuta groans in exasperation, “you know we can’t.”

He sobers up a little and tries to lean away as his stomach sinks. Does he not—did he read this wrong? Even high and careless he thought they were on the same page.

Yuta reels him back to his chest, “uh-uh you’re not escaping that easy, baby.”

“But…why?” He asks dumbly, his eyes soaking in Yuta’s lips, red and kiss bitten. 

Yuta leans in and presses a kiss to his Adam’s apple and he tosses his head back, “you’re high, sweet thing. I want you sober when I finally have you.”

“Uhh…” Jaehyun can’t think straight. 

Yuta tilts his head so their eyes meet, “come back to me when you're sober, I’ll give you whatever you want.”

Jaehyun whines, he wants that floaty, foggy, cotton brained feeling back. He wants to just explode, he vibrates under his skin. He tries instead to lure him in with a slow grind against Yuta’s thigh hoping it’d be enough to make his self control snap.

Yuta’s grip tightens excruciatingly on his waist and stills him from dry humping his leg like a teenager. His eyes hold dark promises that Jaehyun can’t even fathom yet, “hey now, pretty boy. Be good for me, yeah?”

He blinks heavily, liquid heat dripping down his lower stomach, “I can be good.”

“Mmm, I know you can. You’re the best boy I’ve ever seen. I’ve ever had,” Yuta cooed before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. 

Jaehyun drops his head to Yuta’s shoulder and quivers, “I’ll be so good for you.”

A shudder ripples through him again before he realizes that it came from Yuta, his chest trembling. 

“Yeah, baby I know you’ll be, fuck. Don’t go radio silent on me. Be in touch, work hard and then come find me. I’ll be here. Waiting for you.”

————

“So what’s going on with you and Yuta?”

Jaehyun stiffens as he stands by the coffee maker waiting for his k-cup to brew his drink. 

Johnny had joined him in the living room for a study session which meant Jaehyun studied and Johnny raided the pantry, “what do you mean?”

“Your sweater in your laundry basket smells like weed and you have hickeys on your neck. I can only think of one person you know who’d give you both.”

Jaehyun pinches his nose, “why the fuck are you smelling my dirty laundry, you freak.”

Johnny shrugs as Jaehyun takes his coffee before wandering over to the couch where their notes and laptops are spread out. 

“Are you guys dating or something?” Johnny doesn’t let it go. He probably doesn’t know how. 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “No we’re not dating. We’re not in the eighth grade. We’re not boyfriend-and-boyfriend.”

“Damn, was hoping I could get my weed for cheaper if you were.”

Jaehyun scoffs out a laugh before hunching over his notes again. After climbing off of Yuta’s lap, he had cooked a quick meal for Jaehyun just as their hunger hit a fever pitch and the both of them stood shoulder to shoulder eating out of the pot over the sink. 

They sat in front of the tv for the rest of the day watching nature documentaries and just…touching. 

He respected Yuta’s request to hold off on sex but that didn’t mean they couldn’t take turns cuddling and running fingers through each others’ hair and petting at patches of skin. The high made touching feel like a brand new experience. They kissed a few times but it proved to be too difficult without getting worked up. 

Eventually when the high wore off, Yuta called him an Uber, kissed him on the neck and told him not to be a stranger. 

It’d been a few days since then, the hickies faded but the two of them kept in touch. They send meaningless texts and stupid memes. Yuta sends photos of his day, of songs he’s listening to and of cats he meets on the street. Jaehyun, when he remembers to check his phone, has less to update but Yuta makes him send pictures of his meals. It forces him to take breaks and eat three times a day. 

He does meet up with him a few times between classes for coffee. Yuta is still charming and mysterious, he still makes Jaehyun’s gut twist. But there’s something not as guarded about him now. Around Jaehyun, Yuta becomes approachable and human. He laughs and teases, he compliments Jaehyun until he’s red in the face and pays for their coffee with his weed money. 

And when he catches Jaehyun staring at his mouth, he grins and tells him to be good. 

It’s torture. 

Jaehyun hasn’t gone back to Yuta’s apartment yet. It’s a mix of his panic, fear and a genuinely busy schedule. He doesn’t want to rush through a night with him in an effort to get back to studying.

Yuta brings low dosage edibles for Jaehyun as a compromise to them not getting high together again. It’s easier than smoking but Jaehyun moderates. It’s not as enjoyable without Yuta’s heavy petting. 

He feels a little more human himself now. 

“I’m glad you’re getting along. You seem…healthier. You actually respond to my texts within 24 hours. So whatever the two of you are doing is working.”

Jaehyun picked at the corner of his notebook. It’s true, he’s noticed it in himself as well. While he still spirals and overworks, Yuta forcing him to eat and step away from work whenever he can afford it has brought a bit of balance in his life. 

“He helped me get high,” he offers the nugget to Johnny hoping it’d be enough to excuse everything away and leave him alone. 

It, of course, backfires. 

Johnny sits up, “oh my god. What the fuck, dude! I wanted to be the first person you smoked with. I can’t believe after this many years of friendship and I don’t get to see high-Jaehyun.”

“If it makes you feel better, I wasn’t very good at it. I was basically choking. Yuta had to shotgun me.”

Silence ricochets off the apartment walls. 

“Yuta smoked you out? Yuta was actually smoking with you?”

Jaehyun shifts uncomfortably at the attention. He tries not to think about that day too much. The weed, the kissing, the grinding, the filthy promises, it’s all too much for him.

“Like I said, I wasn’t very good at it.”

Johnny scoffs, “dude I wasn’t very good at it at first either but Yuta just told me to try making brownies with them. And he’s never gotten high with me. Like even in social settings.”

“Wait…really?” 

Yuta hadn’t even hesitated smoking with Jaehyun. 

Johnny bobs his head, “I thought maybe he was those guys who sold but never tried it. Shit. He really does like you, huh?”

Jaehyun ducks under the soft teasing smile Johnny shoots his way, “I thought he just found you cute but I guess it wasn’t that simple.”

“I can’t—I’m not. We’re not together or anything,” it’s basically as good as a confession for Johnny. Clarifying that they weren’t in a relationship wasn't the same as saying he didn’t want to be in one. 

Johnny didn’t seem as angst ridden, “you can’t? Bullshit. You two are spending time now, even though you’re busy. If you two hooked up nothing else would change. You’d keep meeting up when you could, texting and calling when you can't.”

“Not the most fulfilling relationship with my priorities.” He’s not even sure why he’s humoring this conversation. 

Johnny leans back on his hands, “Yuta has a 4.0.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen, “what the fuck?”

“Yep. He’s also on the soccer team, volunteers for the fashion department during their final projects, and sells weed on the side. All while spending time with you. You two could study together or smoke together or study on bleachers during his practices. Jesus, Jaehyun. Dating isn’t hard, especially if you know the attraction is mutual,” Johnny says. 

This is why he didn’t want to say anything. Johnny is smart when he chooses to be. He hates when he’s right. 

“Did you know,” Johnny says softly, “if you got B’s for every single course until you graduate, you could still get into your top choices for grad schools.”

Jaehyun grinds his teeth, “I like getting good grades.”

“That’s fine. But don’t sacrifice things that bring you joy just to reach goals that won’t matter in 5 years.”

Jaehyun’s grip tightened on his pen, “Johnny.”

“All I’m saying,” Johnny continues, “is stop acting like you can’t have one and not the other.”

————

When Jaehyun won his first award, he was over the moon. He was ecstatic, he posted the photos on LinkedIn, he added it to his resume and even invited his parents to attend. 

By his second year, the novelty wore off. 

He was an easy pick to be nominated for these kinds of awards. He was smart, wrote good papers and had a face the university wouldn’t mind representing them. 

Every semester he’d be nominated for a handful of awards and win nearly all of them. 

It became a thorn in his side. 

He doesn’t bother inviting anyone anymore. Sometimes Johnny would still ask to come when he’d see Jaehyun get dressed up but it felt like a waste of time to make anyone sit through this. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful so he always thanked his professors for nominating him, he’d wear a suit to the ceremonies and mingle dead eyed with a bunch of academics he didn’t know. 

So today wasn’t any different. 

He isn’t even sure what the award is called or what project was nominated for it. He just waited until his name was called and walked up the stairs and onto the podium to accept the plaque.

And to be honest, he’s been wrung out more than usual given that a certain dealer hasn’t made good on his promise yet.

Jaehyun shakes himself out of it and continues to play the part, mindlessly scanning the crowd as he stands for photos, their faces are a blur: professors, teaching assistants, department heads, random important people, Yuta, other stude—Yuta?

His eyes swivel back, he nearly does a double take. 

Yuta’s sitting in the audience, second row. 

And his hair is black. 

The minute their eyes connect, Yuta smirks and winks at him. 

He has to blink hard to ensure this wasn’t some illusion his own loneliness and longing had concocted. Time warps as he shakes hands with the people on stage, smiles a perfunctory smile as cameras flash and walks across and off the  stage. Without looking away from Yuta. 

His heart is skipping and dancing off beat as he walks around the perimeter of the room, towards the restrooms. He should probably go back to his seat and wait for the ceremony to end, but he hopes Yuta follows his lead.

And like clockwork, the bathroom door swings open and Yuta strolls in. 

Jaehyun nearly drops to his knees. 

Yuta is wearing a suit, simple black and a striped shirt. No tie, too many buttons undone. His hair is still shaggy and long but the black is much more striking than the red. 

“W-what are you doing here?” He asks while trying to quell the trembling of his hands. He wants to reach out and touch so badly. 

Yuta smiles and leans back against the closed door, “you told me you had an award ceremony and I took a wild guess that you were being the one honored.”

He pulls his hand from behind his back and holds out a pink  bouquet, “congratulations, pretty boy.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun says and accepts it with shaky hands, “thank you. You didn’t have to do this. You didn’t have to spend your Friday night here, you know?”

Yuta slides his hands into his pockets and rocks on the back of his heels, “am I making you uncomfortable by showing up?”

“No,” Jaehyun blurts quickly, “it’s just..I don’t know—“

“Don’t want people celebrating your achievements?” Yuta challenges. 

Jaehyun huffs and looks down at the flowers. He never received a bouquet for these events before, “something like that.”

“Such a smart, hardworking boy deserves to enjoy his accomplishments,” Yuta croons as he reaches out to smooth a hand down Jaehyun’s tie. 

Jaehyun’s face burns. It’s like a Pavlovian response everytime Yuta gets like this. He flushes and feels arousal sweep through his body like an autumn breeze. 

His grip tightens around the bouquet, the crinkle of the plastic echoing around the room, “thank you for coming.”

Yuta softens and his smile curls gently around the ends. He tugs on his tie and brings Jaehyun close to kiss him on the forehead, “good job, baby. Proud of you.”

He’s done for. 

“I’m sober.”

They both pull back and stare at each other in equal shock. 

Yuta’s eyes darken, “good for you. Is there something else you wanted?”

“Yuta,” he breathes out petulantly. Jaehyun wasn’t good at asking for what he wanted in life. He just went after it himself, “you said to come to you and you’d give me what I wanted.”

He laughs and taps Jaehyun’s dimple with his fingers before dragging them to graze his bottom lip, “you’re gonna have to tell me what you want so I can give it to you.”

Jaehyun is ambitious, he is determined and he is motivated. 

Instead of answering, he parts his mouth, rolls his tongue out, sinks down on Yuta’s fingers and sucks . 

He sighs when Yuta lets out a breath through his nose and presses his fingers down on his tongue. He hums around the digits and feels his head get cloudy. He looks up at Yuta from under his lashes and locks in on the tight bolt of his jaw.

It’s inappropriate, doing this in the university bathroom with an entire award ceremony happening a couple hundred feet away. 

But it’s so good seeing Yuta riled up. 

“Use your words, baby.”

He shivers and slowly drags his mouth off his fingers, “wanna get fucked.”

Yuta looks stunned, and frankly Jaehyun feels a little stunned himself. For how tightly wound he is and how he struggles with indulgences and self care, it shouldn’t fall out of his mouth that shamelessly. But he’s drunk with it. 

It’s crass but honest.   

“Full of surprises, huh? Such a good boy,” Yuta whispers, “speaks his mind, knows what he wants. So fucking perfect.”

Jaehyun’s fingers dig into the plaque he holds and holds back a whine. He has a bit more dignity than that.

But Yuta sees right through him as his spit coated fingers hold Jaehyun’s jaw. He gets in close and presses his thigh between Jaehyun’s legs, “you just need a little praise, right? You work yourself to death and only have your grades and these awards to validate you. But you need to hear it, don’t you? You need someone to see you for the genius you are. You need someone to be in awe of you and tell you how smart you are. How good. How strong and sweet and dedicated and handsome you are. You just want to shut your brain off and be my good little baby, don’t you?”

He’s hard. 

He’s so fucking hard. 

Every word out of his mouth turns him on to a level he can’t explain. He does need that. He needs someone who just knows how to touch him and doesn’t expect Jaehyun to make the decisions. He needs something stronger than weed. 

He needs Yuta so badly it makes him crazy.

Jaehyun barely starts to nod but Yuta’s grip on his jaw goes iron-clad, “ words, baby.”

“Yeah,” he’s winded and dazed. He doesn’t even realize his hips jerking forward in a clumsy grind against Yuta’s thigh, “yeah I need that.”

“And what my sweet baby wants, he gets.”

God, never in his life would he have thought that a praise kink was all he really needed. Someone to just switch his thoughts off and make him feel good. 

Yuta lets go of him and straightens up with his eyes lit ablaze, “how much longer do they need you here?”

“I can leave now.” 

Yuta barks out a laugh, “don’t you want to mingle?”

“Fuck, no. Take me home.”

Yuta tips his head back and laughs before he takes Jaehyun’s hand, “then let’s go. You deserve a reward, golden boy.”

————

Yuta’s grip around Jaehyun’s hand is tight but not crushing, it grounds him, and stops him from floating up into the sky. His thumb brushes over Jaehyun’s knuckles when they wait at a stop light. Jaehyun can’t stop looking at the side of his face, the feline sharp lines, his teeth digging into his lip, earrings cuffing his ear and his hair pulled half up. 

“Patience, darling,” Yuta doesn’t look at him, his eyes focused forward, but his mouth hooks up a little. 

Jaehyun, without a lick of marijuana in him, feels loose-limbed and soft. He leans against Yuta and presses his nose under the curve of his jaw, “I’m being patient.”

“Five more minutes,” Yuta’s voice is rough when he pulls away and tugs Jaehyun’s hand, leading them both across the street toward his apartment.

He finally looks at Jaehyun and it’s like nothing else fucking matters. 

“Five more minutes and you’ll be all mine.”

————

Realistically, it was more like 10 minutes. 

But Jaehyun wasn’t counting.

Not when the door closes behind them, Yuta crowds close to him, their foreheads nudging together. He’s pressed against Yuta’s front door, his jaw slack and Yuta’s wet tongue presses in, mapping out the geography of the roof of his mouth. 

The bouquet, his award, and his grey blazer were crumpled on the ground by their feet, he couldn’t care less though, not with the hot, hard line of Yuta’s body firm against him. He clawed at his back, pulling him in. His fingers thread through his hair, curling in and pulling hard.

“Baby,” Yuta moans into his mouth as his finger carve into his hips, “honey, sweetheart.”

“Yeahh?” It’s breathy and a little too wanton to seem like he’s focusing. 

Yuta pulls him away by the back of his neck and lets his eyes scurry over his face, inventorying the dazed look and headspace he was clearly in, “focus, pretty boy. Eyes on me.”

“Mmm,” Jaehyun hums as he claws into Yuta’s dress shirt. He was a wet dream and every last thought in his overactive brain is turned to absolute liquid. Was this all it took? Yuta’s intoxicating sexual charisma and lovely sweet personality?

“Jaehyun.”

Oh. 

His name sounds so good out of his mouth. 

Yuta is out of breath but he has a gentle smile on his lips, “do you still want this?”

Jaehyun nods but it’s not enough for Yuta, “words, baby.”

“Yes, next question.” 

Yuta lets out a breathy punched out laugh, “how do you want me?”

“Inside me, next question.”

Yuta tips his head back, exposing the curved stretch of his neck and laughs loudly. Jaehyun darts forward and attaches his lips to his neck, Yuta makes a purring noise and the vibrations makes him shiver. His reaches down and grips Jaehyun’s ass. 

“One last question, will you stay the night?”

“Yes, any other questions?” Jaehyun spits out impatiently but Yuta just grins and steps back, hand in hand.

“None. C’mon, sweet thing. Bedroom. Now.”

————

Yuta is quick with his hands. 

In no time, he has Jaehyun stripped bare, on his back against white blankets. 

He can feel his skin heating up and it must look the part too because Yuta presses his palm against his sternum and peels it away moments later to see the way his blush rushes to refill his palm print, “pretty as a peach, aren’t you?”

He leans down and presses kisses down the side of his neck, nipping and biting his way down Jaehyun’s chest, “bet you bruise like one too, huh, sweet?”

He grabs Yuta’s shoulders, clawing his nails into his bones, “shirt, take your shirt off, please.”

Yuta blinks up at him from above his waist before he catches Jaehyun’s hand and kisses his knuckles, “I’ll take my shirt off.”

“Ye–“

“On one condition.”

Jaehyun flutters his eyes as Yuta stalks his way up his body until he’s hovering over him, his necklace hanging over Jaehyun’s mouth, he wants to bite it. He wants it to hit the back of his neck when he gets fucked. 

Jaehyun wants and wants and wants. 

“Condition?” He slurs out. 

Yuta drops his weight down on his chest, and he feels a little delirious with the pressure of his body against his. He wants to suffocate under it. 

“Yeah, baby. All you have to do is repeat after me and I’ll take it off. Okay?” He croons.

Jaehyun’s not at his sharpest. He’s horny and high on Yuta so he doesn’t question him any further, “okay.”

“That’s my sweet boy. Repeat after me, yeah?” He purrs. 

Jaehyun nods.

Yuta brushes their lips together, just enough to entice him, “You”

“You”

“Are.”

“Are.”

“A.”

“A.”

“Lucky.”

“Luck—”

Jaehyun sobers a little, his eyes wide, “what are you doing?”

“Shh, don’t you want me to take my shirt off?” Yuta mumbles, eyes lidded, “keep going, baby. Doing so good for me, yeah?”

Jaehyun swallows the lump down his throat and reaches out to curls his fingers around Yuta’s belt, “Lucky.”

“Man.”

“Man.”

Yuta smirks, slow and dirty, pressing his palm just above Jaehyun’s dick, “now all together now.”

“You are a lucky man,” Jaehyun chokes out.

Yuta sits up on his knees and unbuttons his shirt, “yes I am. Lucky to have a sweet, smart, boy like you, aren’t I?”

He lets his shirt drop off his shoulders. 

Jaehyun looses his breath. 

Yuta has nipple peircings. 

He lets out a pathetic moan before reaching out and gripping Yuta’s flank and thumbs at his nipples, feeling the metal barbels against his thumb. Yuta hums, his eyes dropping shut as his body flinches and twitches, “like ‘em?”

“So fucking hot,” Jaehyun mutters before lurching up and licking across the bud, sucking it into his mouth.

“Shit, fuck, baby,” Yuta hisses before pushes Jaehyun away, “you’re not distracting me that easily. Don’t you want me to take my pants off?”

Jaehyun knows what’s coming, but his mind is wiped clean when Yuta wraps his ringed fingers around his cock and gives it a firm stroke. The warmth of his hand on the ridges and veins of his dick felt heavenly. His jaw falls slack and he arches his neck back, “want you naked. So bad.”

“You know what you have to do then, right?”

Jaehyun lets out a pitiful whine, “please don’t make me.”

“I’ll give you anything you want, darling. But can you be good and do this one thing? For me?” Yuta pouted as he tightened his grip around Jaehyun’s cock. 

“Fine,” he breathes out.

Yuta rocks forward, lets Jaehyun’s dick slide against the crease of his thigh and kisses him on the forehead, “that’s my baby. Now repeat after me.”

“I.”

“I.”

“Am.”

“Am.”

“Irreplaceable.”

“Irreplaceable.”

“I am irreplaceable,” Jaehyun moans it out just as lubed finger slides in between his legs and crooks up. Cotton fluffs and fills his head while everything else fades away to make space. 

Yuta draws his finger back but not out before slamming it back in, ripping a slutty scream out of his mouth, “yes you are, baby. There’s no one like you. Not a single person can make me feel the way you do. A fucking dream.”

He didn’t even know when Yuta shucked hs pants off and conjured up a bottle of lube.

“More,” Jaehyun cries out. Yuta slips another fingers in, using his free hand to hold Jaehyun down when his hips twitch. 

“New rule,” Yuta whispers in his ear, “everytime you want something from me, you need to repeat after me.”

Jaehyun tilted his head to the side and feels his eyes water, “why?”

“Because maybe you’ll start cutting yourself some slack if you start saying the things I think about you,” Yuta’s eyes are blown black and wide, his teeth glinting white like fangs, “or maybe I should just tie you up like a little present, edge you until you can’t breathe and force you to listen to me pour praise on you for hours.”

Jaehyun panted, trying to catch his breath, “next time. Please.”

“You’d let me?” Yuta nipped the shell of his ear. 

Jaehyun gasped and tilted his head to the side to let Yuta bite marks into the tendons of hs neck, “anything you want.”

“What I want is for you to repeat after me.”

Jaehyun nods so much, he nearly cracks his neck. Yuta rewards him to with a wet kiss, licking into his mouth and dragging his bottom lip between his teeth, “I want you to say, I am good enough. ”

He feels his chest seize, he’s spent years trying to convince himself and everyone around him that he was good enough. Smart enough. Ambitious enough. Successful enough. It felt like a battle that never ended. A journey with no end in sight.

No one…no one ever said it though. Even if they didn’t mean it, no one said it. Maybe they thought it but he doesn’t think he’s ever heard the words. His parents have told him how proud they are of him, his friends compliment him and tell him to take care of himself better. 

But no one’s ever told him that he was enough. That maybe he had nothing to prove because everyone already knew. 

That maybe he could rest a bit. 

This is harder to swallow and maybe Yuta sees the panic in his eyes because his fingers slow but he keeps them curled and presses up so that the tease of pleasure was always there. 

“You’re good enough, baby. Just the way you are, whether you get on the Dean’s List or fail out of half your courses. You’re fucking perfection. Say it.”

Jaehyun licks his lips before chewing on the skin. Yuta takes his free hand and taps on his bottom lip scoldingly before crooking his fingers up cruelly, “I can wait all day, honey, but can you?”

“I’m….I–ah,” he gasps when Yuta pushes his fingers in deeper as a reward, “I’m go–good enough. I’m perfection.”

Three fingers slip in and Jaehyun hears white noise like it’s a symphony. 

White noise and a quiet buzzing chant in the background. 

I’m perfect. 

I’m perfect.

I’m perfect.

I’m perfect. 

I’m perfect for me. 

I’m perfect for him. 

“Yes, baby,” Yuta sounds winded, awestruck, “perfect for me. Made for me. Made for me to worship. Next time I’ll get on my knees for you.”

Oh, he had said all of that out loud.

“Yuta,” his words are wet with saliva as he forces himself not to come, “enough. Please. Want your cock.”

“You want my dick? Not my mouth?” Yuta smirks. 

Jaehyun spreads his legs and tilts his hips up, drawing Yuta’s eyes, “you can use your mouth in the morning. Want your dick now.”

“God, love it when you boss me around. Tell me when to use my mouth on you,” trembling hands grip Yuta’s shoulders, nails breaking skin as Jaehyun watches Yuta roll a condom on, “you want my cock, baby? You know the rules.”

“Fuck, fine. What do you want me to say?” Jaehyun growls out, desperately. 

He shivers when Yuta nudges his cock between his legs, dragging it up and down passed his hole, “Tell me how good you are.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and blinks up at Yuta, “ tell me how good you are. There. Done.”

“No, sweetheart, don’t repeat after me this time. I want you to list out how good you are,” Yuta mumbled against his neck before stroking his tongue up over his pulse. 

Jaehyun feels his chest cave in when he sees the tenderness veiling over the lust, “what?” 

“I think I’ve already given you some hints. Go on, sweetness. Let’s hear it,” Yuta tempts him with by grinding their cocks together.

His mouth is dry and he scrambles to remember the things Yuta’s said about him. He’s mortified, having to compliment himself and brag is not in his nature. It’s never been, “I’m smart. Best grades in my faculty.”

“Big brains are sexy,” Yuta replies, voice strain, letting his dick slowly sink into Jaehyun’s tight, wet, sweltering heat. 

Yuta isn’t even halfway in and Jaehyun already feels so full, he can feel it in his throat, he’s not sure how he manages to talk, “I’m…I’m smart.”

“You’ve already said that. Something new, babe,” Yuta grits out, his teeth clenched as he tries to not drill into Jaehyun. 

“Ahh…ah…I’m handsome.”

Yuta kicks his hips forward, he’s almost fully in but not quite, “you’re a fucking Greek God, look at you. Unreal.”

Yuta strokes a hand down Jaehyun’s abs before tugging on his dick. Jaehyun whimpers and swings his hands above his head and claws his fingers into the pillow under his head. Everything feels so intense, so much. He feels full like he could burst and pleasure sparking every square inch of his body. 

He doesn’t know how he hasn’t imploded yet.

“You with me?” Yuta breathes out. 

Jaehyun squeezes his eyes shut, “I’m hardworking and ambitious and driven. I have one hell of a work ethic.”

“That’s my boy,” Yuta slams his hips all the way in, pushing Jaehyun up the bed, arching his back up the entire way while tearing a scream out of his raw throat. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, so good,” Jaehyun sobs as Yuta wraps his hand around his ankle and pulls his up over his shoulder so he can sink in deeper. Yuta silences him with his mouth, gives Jaehyun his tongue in trade. He licks the moan straight out of his throat. 

Yuta loses it a little when Jaehyun clenches down.  He forgets the rules and starts a brutal pace to take the edge off and give the both of them some much needed relief. His hips piston and Jaehyun’s moaning turns messy and pitchy. It’s fucking music to his ears. 

It’s only when Jaehyun’s hand blindly comes down on Yuta’s chest and catches the corner of his nipple piercing, does Yuta return back to his body a little. His hips slow to a more torturous grind but even that feels a bit too much with how tight Jaehyun is, “c’mon baby. Speed round. Let’s go.”

He’s so high on Yuta’s body and the pleasure it’s driving into him that Jaehyun can’t feel shame, embarrassment or humbleness. He just starts spilling praise on himself.

And within seconds, Yuta’s thrusts start to fall in sync with every gasp. 

“I’m confident.”

Thrust.

“I am successful.”

Thrust. 

“I deserve every award I get.”

Thrust.

“I am worth more than my grades.”

Thrust.

“I am kind.”

Thrust.

“I am confident.”

Thrust. 

“My friends love and cherish me.”

Thrust. 

“I am valuable.”

Thrust.

“I am desirable.”

Thrust.

“I am not a failure.”

Thrust. 

“I am allowed to make mistakes.”

Thrust.

“I am good. I’m a good boy.”

Hell breaks loose. 

Yuta has both of Jaehyun’s legs over his shoulders, he has him nearly bent in half, and his hips move like sin. This stomach tenses and flexes as his hips move in nonstop waves, “that’s right. My good, sweet boy with the tightest fucking ass, feel like you’re made of silk around my cock. Fucking perfect.”

Yuta’s jaw is iron tight, a roar building in his chest as he leans over him, chain dangling over his face. Jaehyun opens his mouth and bites down on the gold. It’s the only way to brace himself before he’s pounded straight into the mattress, his neck bent at an angle and his hands flailing desperately from something to hold onto. 

But he never slows down. 

He is a feral animal between Jaehyun’s legs. 

Soon Jaehyun’s own praises get drowned out by the ones tumbling out of Yuta’s bruised mouth. It’s a frenzied rambling and Jaehyun hears every single word.

“Everyone wants you.”

“Everyone is jealous of you. They want to be you. They want to have you. How could they not? Look at you. And imagine if they knew how good you felt. If they saw how fucked out you look when you take dick. They’d never leave you alone.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“But I get you.”

“You’re sweet. Wanna eat you up most of the time. Wanna show you how tight my throat is.”

“Wanna kiss you the rest of the time.”

“You’re so fucking tight.”

“You’d look so pretty when you come.”

“Will you, sweet baby? Will you come for me? Will you let me see how pretty you look when you let go?”

“Baby, where do y—“

”Inside,” Jaehyun gasps out, “wanna feel you.”

“Fuck.”

Jaehyun feels delirious with praise, he’s melting into his sheets, he sneaks his hand down and tugs his dick finally pushing him over the edge. 

The moan is low and long, it draws out as he comes all over his stomach and lets Yuta chase after his own relief. He thrums at the pain-fed pleasure of overstimulation. He just melts under his body, fusing to the mattress he’s being railed into. He lets Yuta do whatever he wants, he just gasps and whimpers when it feels too good, too hot. 

“A masterpiece.”

He cracks open his eyes just as Yuta catches his orgasm and watches his exquisite features as they pinch together. Yuta dives down, crushing their lips together into something needy and hot. Pleasure washes over his face and Jaehyun can feel his cum fill the condom in him, making him flinch at the sensation. Yuta stiffens as he rides out the last vestiges of his orgasm, but he keeps their lips locked in a long wet kiss before he collapses on top of Jaehyun, dropping his legs off his shoulders.

“Sorry, baby,” Yuta mumbles tiredly into his neck when he hears Jaehyun’s groan, he kisses the skin a few times. Jaehyun is still barely coming down from his high that he can’t even make out the words to tell Yuta that he doesn’t mind the feeling of his body pressed against his.

Jaehyun feels the heat pulsing down to his toes, his body throbbing deliciously as it catches up to the onslaught it was put through. Even his mind feels like jelly. He just wraps his legs around Yuta’s waist and holds him there even though he’s gone soft inside him and it’s starting to feel gross.

They both seem to pass out for a few minutes, but it’s Yuta who comes back to reality first. He sits up slowly, still seated inside Jaehyun, and reaches up to brush Jaehyun’s sweaty hair back, “hey, golden boy. How’re you doing?”

“Tired,” is all he can mumble. He wishes he has the strength to say that he doesn’t think he can ever have sex with anyone else ever again. That it’ll never be this mind blowingly good or mind numbingly overwhelming. 

Yuta hums sympathetically and presses small kisses across his face, “let me get up and clean us up, we can snuggle. We can shower in the morning.”

Jaehyun is satisfied with the word ‘we’, and tries not grimace when Yuta slips out of him. He keeps his eyes closed and just listens to Yuta roll off the bed and putter around the room. He hears the bathroom door open, and the sink run before Yuta crawls back up over him. Jaehyun lets out a slow hiss when the damp towel touches his stomach. 

“I know, honey. Just stay with me,” Yuta coos as he wipes Jaehyun down. 

“Want me to get you some clothes?” He whispers as he kisses Jaehyun’s stomach after he finishes cleaning it.

Jaehyun attempts to shake his head, “no, you’re going to take them off of me in the morning anyways.”

Yuta chuckles low and doesn’t fight him on it. He leaves again to the bathroom and just as Jaehyun feels his consciousness slipping, Yuta slips in next to him and pulls him to his chest, wrapping them up in a blanket. Jaehyun curls into him immediately, drawn to his warmth and softness. 

He feels the brush of Yuta’s lips on his forehead and for the first time in ages, he sleeps a restful night.

————

Jaehyun wakes up with Yuta’s devilish grin between his legs and snaps into full consciousness when he wraps his lips around his dick and makes him come down his throat in record time.

They shower together and Jaehyun has to fight Yuta into letting him return the favor while they’re in there. 

When they’re satiated, dry, and dressed in a new set of Yuta’s clothes, they wander out to the kitchen where Yuta attempts to put together a semblance of breakfast. It’s a nice slow morning, everything feels like molasses, time doesn’t seem real and all Jaehyun can think about is the warmth of the sunkissed tiles on his feet and the coffee coursing through his system. He hasn’t had a slow morning since highschool. It’s delightful and he aches for more.

He’d been sacrificing this all these years and for what? A slightly higher grade?

“I’ve been thinking,” Jaehyun breaks the silence slowly from where he’s sitting with his mug of coffee, “of seeing the university appointed therapist.”

Yuta doesn’t judge him or overwhelm him with an overly enthusiastic response. He sits with the information for a moment before nodding, “that’s good. I don’t know if the school has the best one but I know some friends who have their own therapist that don’t cost an arm and a leg, if you want options.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jaehyun says softly, he had also heard some not so great things about the mental helath services here but he didn’t think he’d be able to afford anything better, “that’d be great.”

Yuta has a smile on his face as he turns off the stove and brings over a plate of eggs for them to share, “what made you decide to go?”

“When I realized that weed makes me feel good and I knew I couldn’t rely on it every time I felt burnt out. Figured I would try doing something else about it. Learn to cope with the stress better,” he admits as he picks at the food, “and it’s not like I could self-medicate with sex even though it’s been the best solution so far.”

Yuta smirks with his fork hanging out of his mouth, “I mean, I would recommend it. Think of it as outpatient treatment.”

Jaehyun laughs and feels the weight of his admission lighten. It’s not a depressing, angst-driven confession, with Yuta it feels freeing, like a weight lifting off his chest that they’re celebrating. 

It’s a good thing. 

He’s good. 

“So, how about this?” Yuta sits up and faces Jaehyun properly, “I’ll drive you home, let you finish up this semester and after your last exam, let me take you out on a date. Dinner maybe?”

Jaehyun blinks at him, confused. The semester wasn’t meant to end for another 2 months. He wanted to wait that long? He hadn’t been sure where they stood before last night, if it was just a passing infatuation from Yuta’s side or if it was something deeper. Knowing what he does now, he can’t fathom waiting longer than they absolutely had to.

His pause must’ve been read wrong because Yuta, for the first time since knowing him, looked nervous and uncertain. So, he reaches across the counter and laces their fingers together. 

“Let’s compromise. Drive me home, and then pick me up on Friday at 8 o’clock for dinner. And if all goes well, I’ll let you take me to bed and you can smoke me out after. Deal?”

Yuta freezes, his eyes calculating as they scan Jaehyun’s face to see if he’s seriously stepping away from his books and study guides to go on a date that will most definitely turn into an overnight sleepover. His lips curve into a slow smirk, "ordering me around, golden boy?"

"Yes," Jaehyun breathes out, "I'm going after what I want."

Yuta must see something, he doesn’t say another word.

His eyes just soften and glow as he lifts their linked hands and presses a kiss to it.

“Deal. I'm all yours.”

Best contact high, ever.

Notes:

smoke responsibly kiddos

prompt # YJR65