Work Text:
Truth is harder than a lie
The dark seems safer than the light
And everyone has a heart that loves to hide
I'm a mess and so are you
We've built walls nobody can get through
Yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do, ever do
Bring your brokenness, and I'll bring mine
'Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy's waiting on the other side
If we're honest
If we're honest
Francesca Battistelli
Gillian peered out of the window of the farmhouse once again, furrowing her brow as the farm track remained stubbornly dark. She had been expecting Caroline nearly an hour ago, and as the minutes had ticked by she had felt more and more antsy about her absence. The blonde was usually as regular as clockwork, and it wasn’t like her to not even text to say that she was going to be late…. Especially on one of their usual Friday nights.
The regular get together had happened almost accidentally, starting when Caroline had been picking up Flora from hers one Friday night and she had asked her to stay for dinner. A glass of wine over the stew that she had had in the slow cooker all day had turned into two, and then a glass of the emergency brandy that she kept under the sink as they chatted companionably in front of the fire. By then it had been too late, and they had drunk too much for Caroline to risk driving home, and they had both fallen asleep huddled up together on the sofa. The following week Caroline had invited her to hers for a takeaway, and thus, their Friday night dinners were born. Gillian treasured each and every one, and looked forward to them every week. At times she almost counted the hours until she would be able to spend time with her stepsister, even if she did avoid referring to her with that tag in her head whenever she could.
As she looked out again, wondering whether it would be worth calling her, her phone beeped with a text.
C - Now on my way, sorry! Kids have been little shits today. I’ve got the wine. C x
Giillian grinned down at the screen, tracing her finger across the words. She knew how hard Caroline’s day to day job was, and the fact that her role didn’t really stop when she got home. She hoped that she would at least be able to offer some kind of stress relief for her at the end of another busy week, and she was incredibly gratified to hear that she had the wine. Caroline always bought the wine, usually purchasing something just a little bit fancier than she really needed to, and certainly spending more than Gillian’s meagre budget could afford. Sighing in relief now that she had heard from her, Gillian began to tap out a reply.
G: No hurry, the lasagne only bears a slight resemblance to charcoal, it’s got a way to go before it's completely inedible ;)
She was teasing, of course - she had actually got it out of the oven just a little while ago, and it was done perfectly. Caroline had never kept it a secret that she loved Gillian’s lasagne, although she couldn’t quite see what was so special about it. Still, if it made Caroline happy then it was worth the faff that it took to make it. She giggled as she got a grumpy emoji in return, stuffing her phone into her pocket and going to prepare the salad. Again, it wasn’t exactly her taste - but Caroline liked it.
After another twenty minutes or so she heard the familiar rumbling of the Jag on the farm track, headlights swinging into the courtyard, and she couldn’t help her face splitting into a massive beam. Brushing her hands off on her jeans, she darted to the door, flinging it open in time to see the blonde sliding out of the driver’s seat.
“What time do you call this?” she called teasingly, a warning growl echoing across from the other woman in response. Gillian couldn’t help chuckling, and made her way outside in her socked feet to meet her. “Only joking. You alright?”
“I will be after a glass of wine,” Caroline hummed, letting out a huffed sigh. “Honestly, I used to think that Friday’s were meant to be an easier day of the week, given that everyone is winding down for the weekend. It seems that these kids have other ideas.” She rolled her eyes, and Gillian grimaced at her in return, knowing that it was unlikely that she would have the patience to deal with them. She pulled the shopping bags out of the other woman’s arms and turned to walk back inside, the blonde’s heels clicking rhythmically on the cobbles as she followed her. It was a sound that was somehow unique to Caroline, and one that she loved to hear.
“Day was that bad, then?” Gillian gave back as she crossed the threshold, earning herself a pained groan in response. “What did they do this time?”
“What didn’t they do?” Caroline shot back bitterly, and Gillian pressed her lips together to try and stop herself from laughing.Hearing Caroline talk about the escapades of some of the children at the school was probably one of the highlights of her week, and Caroline was so funny without even meaning to be that they usually ended up in stitches. She didn’t alway have many occasions to laugh - living on the farm with all the day to day struggles that she encountered wasn’t always conducive to hilarity, so it was a welcome relief that felt utterly freeing to be able to laugh with Caroline.
Gillian dropped the bags onto the table and went to the cupboard to snag two wine glasses, bought for the express purpose of their evenings together when Caroline had protested one too many times at drinking wine out of one of her novelty mugs. Gillian actually thought that a nice red tasted better out of her “sheep farmers do it better” mug, but the headteacher didn’t seem to agree. “Go on then, spill,” she instructed as Caroline dropped down on one of the kitchen chairs, shrugging her way out of her expensive camel coat that Gillian always thought made her look exceptionally elegant… She’d also had one too many fantasies about the blonde turning up wearing nothing but the coat, but that was something that she didn’t exactly feel comfortable sharing with her.
Along with the progression of their Friday night dinners came the rather inevitable progression of Gillian’s feelings towards the other woman, although she had done her best to keep them under wraps as much as she could. As close and affectionate as their friendship had become, she couldn’t imagine that Caroline would ever see her as anything other than a friend - a best friend, mind, but a friend nonetheless. She had contented herself with that for a long time, and if it meant that she was able to have the blonde in her life in some form, then that was good enough for her.
“Well, first I came across Rhys Jenkins trying to set fire to the girls locker room,” Caroline started, rolling hers. “Reckoned that if the girls couldn’t use their one then they’d be forced to share with the boys…”
“Oh, yeah, bet they’d have loved that,” Gillian snorted, shaking her head as she pulled out one of the bottles of wine and made short work of uncorking it. “What did you do about that one?”
“Asked if he’d like to go and get changed in front of the girls whilst they all watched,” Caroline quipped back, and Gillian chuckled again, knowing that it was highly likely that she had said just that. “And he was, surprisingly, not very keen on that idea. He’s going to be reorganising the PE cupboard with the gym teacher and going on a fire safety course down that the police station in Sowerby Bridge.”
“Ooh, harsh,” Gillian winced, knowing that that was the station that the not-so-delightful Cheryl still operated out of - not to mention her formidable sounding sergeant. “Was it just him, then?”
“Nope, wish it was…” Caroline sighed, raking her hand through her hair as Gillian pushed a glass of wine in front of her, smiling at her gratefully. “Next was Elouise Simons, who I caught selling knock off Dior perfume in the loos after a tip off from one of the year eights - they’d had an allergic reaction to whatever crap she’d filled it with, covered in hives! And she had the cheek to tell me that I had to let her because she wants to be the next apprentice!”
“Enterprising,” Gillian commented, biting back another laugh as Caroline shot her a little glare, although her eyes were starting to twinkle. She went to open the oven and pulled out the two plates of lasagne that she had set to warm, sliding one in front of the blonde before sitting down. “You can’t blame her for trying, bet some of those kids would love to be on TV.”
“Well, she’s hardly going to get on there trying to sell perfume that she’s knocked up in her Dad’s garage, is she?” Caroline retorted, rolling her eyes. “It’s probably full of… I don’t know, WD40 or something.”
“Oi! Nothing wrong with a good bit of WD40, I’ll have you know!” Gillian shot back with a sly grin - she wasn’t joking, either. It was rare that she could afford anyone to come and repair anything on the farm, and her motto was that if she could, she would spray a bit of the miracle substance on it, and then it would usually start working again. And if it didn’t… well, she’d just spray a bit more.
“It is when it’s used as eau de toilette,” Caroline murmured, shaking her head, and Gillian stuck her tongue out at her. “Anyway, after her… God, there were so many today that I lost count.”
“Here, have some of this, then,” Gillian offered, pushing the bowl of salad that she’d made in front of her. It wasn’t much, although she was quite proud that she’d managed to grow most of it herself. Now that the summer months were drawing to a close she was starting to be able to harvest the veggies that she had been carefully tending all summer, although she wasn’t going to admit to the headteacher that the only reason that she had grown anything resembling salad was for her benefit. “Know how you like a bit of rabbit food.”
Caroline hissed at her playfully before helping herself, Gillian smirking at her in return. Their teasing banter was such an integral part of their friendship, and she loved every minute of it. “How about you, then? How have you been?” Caroline picked up her fork and smiled at her, and Gillian felt herself settle. All was well with the world once again, her earlier worries about the blonde long gone. Friday nights were her favourite.
After a lovely meal filled with yet more gentle teasing and lots of laughter, the pair of them retired to the sofa, both of them slumping down on the worn cushions with a sigh of relief. Gillian had lit the fire earlier - the nights were getting chillier now, and she found that they needed it to try and keep the chill from invading the farmhouse. It was always colder up at the farm, exposed as it was to the elements, and she knew that she needed to keep the temperature above a certain level if not only to stop Caroline complaining about the cold, but also to keep the damp away. Noticing that it had burnt down a little too much, she stood and went to throw a couple more logs on.
“I do like it, now it’s the season for fires,” Caroline hummed, shooting her a lazy smile as she stood up again. “You always do such a good job with them, I usually just end up with a few smouldering bits of wood, and Flora laughs at me.”
“Ahh, years of practice,” Gillian replied, winking at her. Noticing that the blonde had drained the last of her wine, she gestured towards her glass. “More wine?”
“More wine,” Caroline confirmed, holding out her glass towards her. It was hardly a question - when it came to the pair of them then the answer was always yes. Gillian plucked it out of her grasp and made her way back into the kitchen, clocking the empty bottle that still sat in the middle of the table.
“Okay if I open another one?” she called, her hand already in the other woman’s bag as she searched for a second. Caroline hummed a yes in reply, and as Gillian’s hand closed around a new bottle it brushed something else… Pulling it open, she frowned down at the copy of Cosmo that was lurking in the bottom of the tote. “Never considered you to be a Cosmo girl, Caz?” she commented with a grin, pulling it out and giggling at the cover. She and her friends, as teenagers, had always been desperate to get their hands on a copy of this particular magazine, although the appeal had definitely faded as she got older.
“What?” Caroline called, and after a few seconds she appeared in the kitchen, her eyes going to the magazine in Gillian’s hands. “Oh, that. Confiscated it off a year nine. They had it open at the sex tips page! I mean, I ask you!” She raised her eyebrows to the heavens and Gillian snorted, flushing slightly. It hadn’t been much after year nine that she would have been attempting to look at that page herself…
“My secret sex dungeon…” Gillian read, bursting out laughing. “Eh, do you think this is Judith?” She raised her eyebrows at the other woman, earning herself a long laugh in return.
“She’s certainly got the money for one,” Caroline commented, her eyes sparkling, and Gillian couldn’t help thinking just how beautiful she looked. The way that the firelight was dancing across her skin, the gleam in her eyes and the flush in her cheeks… she really was every one of Gillian’s dreams come true. To distract herself from such wandering thoughts, lest her feelings show on her face, Gillian looked down as she started to flick through the magazine. After a few seconds she gasped, stabbing her finger inbetween two of the pages.
“Caz!” she exclaimed, turning it around to face the other woman. “Look! Did you ever do one of these?” Caroline squinted at the page before letting out a huff, grabbing her glasses out of her bag so that she could see it properly. Gillian, meanwhile, had turned it around again so that she could read the article. It was a list of questions that Cosmo reckoned you should ask someone that you were getting to know - so that you really knew them. Caroline moved to her side to look too, before letting out a little laugh.
“I did far too many of those,” she hummed, shooting a quick smile at the farmer. “They were all the rage when we were at school. We used to pass them round in maths, some of the kids got detention when they were caught.”
“Not you, eh? Miss Goody Two Shoes,” Gillian retorted, earning herself a playful poke in her side.
“I’ll have you know that I was very clever at hiding things when I was younger,” Caroline shot back imperiously, and Gillian rolled her eyes at her. “There are certain benefits to having a bigger chest, and one of them is that you can sneak things down your bra a lot more easily.” Gillian’s eyes widened as she flushed, turning her attention quickly back to the page as she tried to stop thinking about what it would be like to sneak certain things down Caroline’s bra - like her hand.
“Shall we have a go at it, then?” she asked, not really thinking about what she was saying. Her mind was still in the gutter, and she was doing her best to squeeze her thighs together and stop thinking unstepsisterly thoughts. It was easier said than done. “Might be a laugh?”
“Oh, go on then,” Caroline gave back good naturedly as she retrieved another bottle of wine. “First, though - more wine.”
After sloshing a good helping into each of their glasses, they carried them back carefully to their seats, the magazine tucked firmly under the farmer’s arm as they settled themselves back onto the sofa. “So… how do you want to do this, then?” Gillian hummed, flipping it open again and running her finger down the questions. “Shall we both write down our answers, take it in turns? Some kind of… I dunno…buzzer system?” She giggled, and Caroline wrinkled her nose, clearly a little hesitant about this now that they were sitting down again.
“Let’s take it in turns,” she suggested gamely, sighing as she tucked her legs up underneath her. The action only served to expose a little more of her thigh, and Gillian did her best to tear her gaze away and focus on the words on the page.
“Right… let’s start with one for you, then,” Gillian ventured, turning so that she was sitting with her legs crossed underneath her, facing the blonde with a huge grin. “What’s your all time favourite dessert?”
“Well, that’s fairly inoffensive,” Caroline commented, cracking a smile. “That’s a hard one, though… I’d probably have to go for a raspberry mille feuille.”
“A raspberry mill what?” Gillian retorted, screwing her face up in confusion. “What’s one of those when it’s at home?”
“I don’t make them at home, too bloody complicated,” Caroline laughed, shaking her head. “I usually get them when I go to that cafe that Mum insists on. Although sometimes the deli stocks them too… I might pick you one up next time I go, if you’re lucky.”
“Right… I’d rather have a chocolate brownie?” Gillian asked hopefully, and Caroline just laughed at her in return.
“My turn, give it here,” Caroline said playfully, and snatched the magazine out of her hands. She pushed her glasses onto the end of her nose, looking down at the page, and Gillian fought another surge of attraction. Caroline looked strangely authoritative, and although she had seen her wearing glasses before - of course she had - it never failed to be attractive to her. “So… what’s your favourite holiday you’ve ever had, and why?”
Gillian tilted her head to the side thoughtfully, considering her answer. “Farmer’s don’t get a lot of holidays, you know, not like you teachers.” She nudged Caroline’s leg playfully as the blonde glared at her, sniggering a little. “That’s an easy one, though. Barcelona.”
“I thought you’d only been the once?” Caroline replied, furrowing her brow, before her eyes widened in understanding. “You… you mean when we went together?”
“Y-yeah,” Gillian gave back, flushing a little. It really had been a wonderful holiday, and she had loved every minute that she had got to spend with the blonde. Caroline was so easy to be with, and the fact that she could be entirely herself without the fear of being judged was really rather special. “It was lovely… remember that beach?”
“Oh, that beach…” Caroline groaned, and both of them smiled at the memory. They had gone on a day trip to a nearby resort and had spent the day alternately swimming in the crystal clear sea and sunbathing on the golden sand whilst Flora and Calamity had giggled and played. She had been amazed that she had even convinced the headteacher to come swimming with them, although Caroline had been somewhat less amused when she had started a water fight. “It’s probably one of my favourites too, actually.” Their eyes met and they smiled at each other in shared recollection, and it was a moment before Gillian remembered that she was meant to be asking her another question.
“Favourite day of the week?” she asked, tapping her finger against the page as she waited to hear her answer.
“Easy,” Caroline laughed, settling back against the cushions and taking a big sip of wine. “Friday’s.”
“Ah, yeah,” Gillian nodded back, understanding completely. “It must be nice to know that work is done for another week, and you can have some time away from the school.”
“Ye-e-es, but that’s not all it is,” Caroline replied with a little smile. “I also get to spend Friday nights with you.”
Gillian almost spat out her wine in surprise - she knew that they both enjoyed their nights together, and Caroline often told her how much she appreciated and looked forwards to them, but she hadn’t thought that that extended to them being her favourite time of the week… Although, Gillian felt exactly the same. “Yes… yes you do,” she said weakly, trying to clear her throat as the alcohol burned the back of it.
Caroline tugged the magazine out of her hands once again and looked for the next question. “Favourite movie?” she asked, but before Gillian could answer she snorted, shaking her head. “I know this one… Pulp Fiction, right?”
Gillian beamed at her and nodded, thrilled that she’d remembered. “Y-yeah… that is my favourite,” she agreed happily. “Although, I do like It’s a Wonderful Life at Christmas - can’t beat it. I cry every time.”
“Why don’t I know this about you?” Caroline questioned with a little giggle. “I watch it every year too, when I’m wrapping presents. I used to shut John out and let him deal with the boys whilst I did it, along with a bottle of wine.”
“Well… maybe we can watch it together this year?” Gillian ventured hopefully, and felt a leap in her chest when Caroline nodded enthusiastically, pleased to be able to share one of her favourite festive traditions with her. “I’ll even get the wine.”
“No, I’ll get the wine,” Caroline admonished sternly, giving her another one of those trademark looks over the top of her glasses. “You’ll only buy that stuff that doubles as drain cleaner.”
“Oi!” Gillian retorted, pouting at her. “I’ll have you know that that costs a tenner a bottle, you know!”
“Tenner a case, more like,” Caroline muttered, earning herself a playful slap on the knee. “Anyway, what’s your question for me?”
“Okay… what’s your favourite song? Definitely not ‘Sweet Caroline’, I’m betting?” she teased, and Caroline stuck her tongue out at her. A few times now, usually when they were washing up or driving together, the song had come on the radio and she had tried to get her to sing along. Caroline had been rather vehemently opposed, but it hadn’t stopped the farmer - she usually got her to giggle about it in the end.
“Well…” Caroline bit her lip, a slight flush colouring her cheeks. “I never used to listen to a lot of music, used to have the radio tuned into classical most of the time…” Gillian groaned loudly, and she bared her teeth at her in response. “But now… probably Bette Davis Eyes.”
“Oh…” Gillian managed, her breath catching in her chest. She vividly remembered this song, and for her it held a special kind of memory. It had come over the speakers when she had finally got Caroline tipsy enough to dance with her at Hebden Women’s Disco, and she had spent the whole song singing the lyrics at her whilst she danced around her, considering it to be the perfect song for the blonde. “I love that song.”
“I know you do,” Caroline replied back quietly, a smile sliding onto her features. “You sing it quite well too, from what I remember.”
“Her hair is Harlow gold, her lips a sweet surprise,” Gillian sang softly, Caroline’s grin growing wider. “Her hands are never cold, she’s got Bette Davis eyes…” The other woman joined her on the last line, their voices blending into a sweet harmony. Gillian’s heart gave a happy thump, and if it was possible she fell a little bit more in love with her right then. It was a lovely moment.
“Anyway…” Caroline flushed again, shuffling in her seat as she cleared her throat. “What is your favourite book?”
Gillian bit her lip thoughtfully. “That’s a hard one… I bet you just think I read Farmer’s Weekly, don’t you?”
“No!” Caroline shot back unconvincingly, and Gillian giggled, shaking her head.
“You better go look up in the hayloft, then. Ran out of room in the house, so all my books are in there, now.” Caroline blinked at her in surprise, and Gillian just smirked at her, enjoying the fact that she’d surprised her. “I think it’s probably The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath - the main character is a Greenwood, you know.”
“I know…” Caroline gave back after a pause, looking at her thoughtfully. “Why The Bell Jar?”
“Dunno… I can just relate, I suppose,” Gillian shrugged with a rueful smile. “She’s buried up at Heptonstall, you know. Visited her a couple of times.”
“I know…” The way Caroline was looking at her was rather amusing, like she’d just performed some kind of trick. “I didn’t know that you… that you felt like that,” she carried on, and Gillian offered her a lopsided smile.
“S’alright. Anyway…” She snatched the magazine back off her lap, and started to read the next question. “What weird or strange superpower do you have?”
“Oh…” The blonde’s brow knitted into a frown as she shifted a little on the sofa, clearly having to think about it. “I… I don’t think I have one?”
Gillian snorted, shaking her head at her. “Yes you do!” she shot back, smirking at her. “I reckon your headteacher voice and that glare of yours is enough of a superpower - bet it makes even the fiercest of bullies quake in their boots!” She didn’t mention that when she had witnessed it herself it hadn’t been fear that she had felt - she found herself instead desperately attracted to her, although if it had been aimed at her she might have felt differently.
“I don’t know about that…” Caroline hummed, but a little smile crept across her face as she considered her words. “Doesn’t always work.”
“Bet it does. You’d have anyone confessing their secrets,” Gillian retorted, and to her surprise Caroline raised her eyebrows at her, sitting up a little straighter and fixing her with the very glare that she had just been talking about. She went in just an instant from Caroline, her lovely friend, to the strict headteacher that she had to be every day, and the farmer found her eyes widening, struggling to maintain eye contact with her. She felt oddly like she’d done something wrong, and she grimaced a little before Caroline started to giggle.
“Like that?” she laughed, and Gillian nodded, flushing again - although not because she was scared. “Right… give it here. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?”
“Easy,” Gillian shot back, rolling her eyes. “Remember when I thought I was off out on a date on Valentines, and it turned out to be with our Gary?” She mimed being sick, crossing her eyes comically, earning herself a little laugh.
“I did feel sorry for you with all that,” Caroline offered, grinning at her. “He… he really wasn’t all he cracked up to be, was he?” Gillian shook her head, screwing up her face in distaste. Although she had thought that her half brother was nice at first, he had quickly proved overbearing, paranoid and rude, and there had been a couple of times that he had even acted intimidating towards her. It was a trait that she couldn’t stand, reminding her all too much of Eddie, and she had done her best to steer clear of him as much as she could. She knew that her father still saw him from time to time, but she stayed out of it as much as possible.
“Only date I’d been on in years,” Gillian replied ruefully, shrugging, and Caroline looked surprised.
“Didn’t Robbie ever take you?” she asked, and Gillian shook her head again. Robbie’s idea of a good time tended to be a beer in front of the rugby, and she found the whole game so dull that she used to make excuses to go out and spend time with the sheep, just so she didn’t have to sit through yet another load of grumbling about various players and their actions. She couldn’t have cared less - about the game, or, in the end, about Robbie. “That… that’s a shame. You deserve to go on a nice date with someone,” Caroline continued, and Gillian looked down, fiddling with her sleeve. She didn’t really want to go on a date with anyone who wasn’t Caroline, but she could hardly admit that.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, and she could feel the other woman’s eyes on her. In an attempt at distraction she reached over to tease the questions back out of her hands, peering down at the page. “Next one… what’s the most bizarre text you’ve ever received?”
The headteacher snorted in amusement, raising her eyebrows at her. “I think you know the answer to that one, don’t you? Given that you sent it?”
“I did?” Gillian asked questioningly, and then the realisation of what she meant hit her. “Oh… oh shit…” she mumbled, wincing in embarrassment as she recalled the content of the message that she had sent to Caroline on her wedding day.
“Oh shit, indeed,” Caroline chuckled, reaching to poke her gently in the stomach. “What on earth possessed you to send that, anyway?”
Gillian felt her cheeks burning under her scrutiny, really not wanting to answer that question. “I… I was drunk,” she offered evasively, but Caroline shook her head, obviously not satisfied with her answer.
“It can’t just have been that,” she carried on, probing deeper. “I mean, maybe it was, but… I don’t know. It was a funny time between us, wasn’t it?”
Gillian just nodded. It had been a bloody awful time, actually. She had been like a wounded animal back then. They had had so much fun planning their parent’s wedding together and Gillian had loved getting closer with her, relishing the fact that she finally had a proper friend after so many years of having to be independent, with no one to talk to apart from her father and the sheep. And then… Well, then Kate had turned up again and Caroline had seemed to forget all about her, growing so distant that it was almost like she had imagined the friendship completely. It had stung horribly, and she wondered if they would ever have got over it if the worst hadn’t happened, what with Kate’s death. She felt almost disloyal even thinking about it, and did her best to push it to the back of her mind.
It hadn’t been the only reason, of course. Kate’s return had come with a kind of crushing jealousy for the farmer… Her feelings for the blonde had already been developing, and she knew that the teacher would be able to spend time with Caroline, and be with her, in a way that she could only dream of. “We’re alright now, though, eh?” she ventured, and Caroline nodded with an indulgent smile.
“I still don’t know where it came from, though,” she said, a little challenge in her voice, and Gillian reached for the bottle of wine again, depositing the last of it in Caroline’s glass, needing an excuse to get away from the sofa for a moment.
“N-n-nowhere,” she muttered, standing up so quickly that her leg bumped into the table, knocking a pile of magazines to the floor. “I was just being a p-p-p-pillock.” The look that Caroline shot her in return was so questioning that she felt herself wavering a little as she snatched the items off the floor, shoving them back on the table haphazardly. “Jealous, probably.” Definitely, but she wasn’t going to say that.
“Jealous…?” Caroline replied incredulously, but Gillian was already making her way to the kitchen.
“Red or red?” she called back towards her, forced jollity in her tone, trying her best to keep her voice steady. It was easier said than done.
“Red,” came the request, and Gillian reached into the shopping back yet again. “But, Gillian-”
“Are you going to read me the next question, then?” Gillian shouted back, rummaging in the drawer loudly for the corkscrew before remembering that it was still on the table. She snatched it, her fingers clumsy as she tried to stab it into the cork.
There was a short silence and a rustle of paper, and she heard Caroline clear her throat. “What’s your strangest phobia?”
Gillian stopped what she was doing for a moment, thinking hard about the answer - and the wisdom of revealing the answer to the blonde. She definitely didn’t want it being used against her… “Promise you won’t laugh?” she eventually replied, and made her way back round to the living room, throwing herself down on the sofa once more.
“I promise nothing,” Caroline gave back, wiggling her eyebrows at her with a smirk, and Gillian sighed, resigning herself to being teased.
“Turkeys,” she said gruffly, shuddering even at the thought of the horrible birds. “We had one on the farm once, when we first moved here… our neighbour used to raise them, and gave us one to fatten for Christmas. Right little arsehole, it was…”
“Turkeys?” Caroline replied incredulously, blinking at her. “What on earth did it do?!”
“It used to wait for me! Just beyond the wall, where I couldn’t see it, every bloody morning!” Gillian insisted, gesturing wildly towards the window. “Bastard. Chased me all the way to the sheep, every sodding morning.” Caroline bit her lip, going red as she tried to stop herself from laughing, and Gillian just rolled her eyes.”Go on, laugh.”
“I’m sorry,” Caroline spluttered, pressing her hand over her mouth as she giggled. “It’s just the thought of you being chased by a turkey, I-” She broke down into laughter, and Gillian couldn’t help grinning at her - she knew she looked like a total twit but it was worth it to see the other woman smile.
“My turn,” she mock-growled, whipping the magazine off her lap and turning it round so that she could see the next question, desperate to change the subject. Whether it be turkeys or texts that she shouldn’t have sent, she wasn’t having much luck. “What’s your favourite sleeping position?”
When she finally stopped laughing, dragging her fingers underneath her eyes to get rid of the tears of mirth that had gathered there, she composed herself before answering. “On my side, usually.”
“Wrapped around Ruth, right?” Gillian laughed, before her eyes widening. “The dog, I mean, not the-”
“Horribly homophobic, fairly nasty head of English at Crow Wood?” Caroline interjected, and Gillian nodded, embarrassed, not having wanted to remind the blonde of that bitch. If it wouldn’t have made things awkward - and, likely, got Caroline in trouble - she probably would have paid her a visit and ripped her a new one. “But, yes. Ruth does seem to end up in my bed most nights,” the blonde carried on, earning herself a smirk.
“Lucky dog,” she hummed, raising her eyebrows at her, and Caroline shot her a curious look. Realising what she had said she laughed a little too loudly, and threw the magazine into her lap, hoping to cover it up. She really needed to slow down with the wine - much more and she didn’t know what she might say.
“Right…” Caroline straightened the pages, smoothing them down pointedly, before asking the next question. “What stresses you out the most?”
“Oh… er…” Gillian mumbled, biting her lip. The most stressful thing that she was currently experiencing was how to hide the increasingly intense feelings that she was having from her stepsister, trying to maintain what appeared to be platonic affection whilst secretly wanting to tear her clothes off, but she couldn’t say that. “Don’t know. Can’t think,” she finally said evasively, pressing her lips together as if she was thinking about it.
“I thought you’d have said that it was the sheep going off on adventures? Eating some more cannabis plants?” Caroline giggled, and Gillian nodded quickly.
“Yep, you’re right… that’s definitely it,” she gave back, pasting a smile on her face that she knew wasn’t particularly convincing. She reached to tug the questions back from the blonde before taking another gulp of her wine, needing to move on - there was a flush on her cheeks again that was nothing to do with the alcohol. She was starting to regret starting these questions…
“What’s an embarrassing thing you’ve done and never told anyone about?” she asked, letting out a low whistle as she looked up at the other woman. This could be interesting… her suspicion was only confirmed when Caroline ducked her head, avoiding her gaze.
“Do I really have to answer this one?” she groaned, taking a little sip of her wine as she cringed.
“Yup,” Gillian replied, smirking at her. “You really do.”
“Right…but you’re not allowed to laugh at me,” she carried on, and Gillian just shrugged - she’d laughed at her about the turkey phobia, so it was hardly fair to expect her not to find it amusing… It only made her more curious as to what it could be. “Well… okay then. A few months ago, I’d had a really, REALLY, long week, and I stopped at the petrol station after work. Flora was rabbiting on about something in the back and I was getting a migraine, and… and when we went to leave…”
“What did you do?” Gillian giggled, encouraging her to continue.
“Well… Not only did I get back in the car and leave without paying… I’d forgotten to take the hose out.” She cringed hard as Gillian spluttered with laughter, dropping her head into her hands. “I ripped the whole thing out of the pump… I had to go back and sort out all the insurance stuff and everything. It was humiliating.”
“Oh, Caz,” Gillian said weakly, her sides aching with laughter. “You know what your mum would say about that, don’t you?” Caroline raised her eyebrows at her before she carried on, mimicking Celia’s waspish tone perfectly. “Oh, Caroline, that’ll be the menopause, addling your brain,” she imitated, and Caroline burst out laughing too.
“Don’t, my pelvic floor isn’t what it was,” she giggled, and that only made Gillian laugh harder. It was a while before they were both in control of themselves enough again to carry on, and Gillian found that her face was aching from smiling so much. It was always that way when she was around Caroline - they usually descended into hilarity, and it was something that she treasured.
“Give it here, then,” Caroline demanded, and Gillian threw the questions at her with a smirk. Caroline caught them neatly, looking down at the page. “Who do you look up to the most, and what qualities do you love about that person?”
Gillian offered her a shy smile, shrugging. “I would have thought that were obvious, Caz,” she said carefully, titling her head. “You.”
“What…?” Caroline’s mouth dropped open, and she looked utterly dumbfounded. “Me? Why me?”
“You twat,” Gillian laughed, shaking her head. It was a source of endless sadness for her that Caroline didn’t realise how special she was. “What’s not to admire? You… you’re so strong, so together. Everything my Dad always hoped I’d be, I reckon, but I never quite managed. And… well, you just…” She searched hard for the words, her brow furrowing. She was feeling a little clouded with alcohol now, so it was harder than it might have been otherwise. “You just accept me for who I am, really. You make me feel safe, and that… that’s really… nice,” she finished lamely, and Caroline shot her an emotional smile, reaching over to squeeze her hand.
“You know that I feel exactly the same about you, don’t you?” she offered quietly, and Gillian met her eyes in surprise. “You’re the one person that… that I never have to pretend to be anything else around. That I don’t need to be strong in front of, or in charge, or… or perfect.” She grimaced a little, but Gillian knew exactly what she meant. Whilst she was often held up as the one that messed up - it was almost expected now - it must have been even more exhausting to have to be perfect all the time. Caroline did a good job of it, but she found that she understood where she was coming from. Impulsively she leant forwards and enveloped her in a hug, Caroline reciprocating straight away and pressing a kiss to her temple. It was lovely, and demonstrated the true depth of their friendship.
As they parted Gillian smiled at her, knowing that she was probably betraying herself a little with the look of adoration which was surely in her eyes, but struggling to hide it. It was amazing to her, frankly, that Caroline could accept her for who she was, especially after her confession so many years earlier on this very sofa. She had always done that, though - just made everything so easy. Caroline met her gaze, and something soft appeared in them too, and Gillian almost felt herself leaning towards her. Before she had gone an inch, though, she stopped, something in her brain screaming at her that she couldn’t ruin this moment, she wouldn’t, by attempting to kiss her. That really would ruin everything.
To distract herself - and her wandering thoughts - she snatched the page of questions off the blonde yet again, wriggling a little in her seat to try and get herself to focus. “Right… my turn,” she hummed, bringing it closer to her face. “What is the best compliment that you’ve ever received?” She raised her eyebrows, looking up at her with a little smirk. “Bet that’s a hard one, eh?” There were so many things about Caroline that were so very special, she imagined that she must hear them all the time, so she was surprised with the headteacher shook her head.
“Not a difficult one at all, no,” Caroline gave back, reaching over to drop her hand on the farmer’s knee. Gillian stared down at it, not quite sure what to make of her gesture, before looking up again. “Do… do you remember a few months ago, when we were in the kitchen after our birthdays?”
Gillian nodded, furrowing her brow. It was something that was rather seared in her memory given Celia’s horrible comments that she made to her when they were talking about the woodworm. It had been an echo of all of the other times that she had felt like a disappointment to her father, and it was even worse to know that it was now Celia saying these things too. The fact that it had been in front of Caroline made it even worse. Before she could comment, Caroline carried on.
“I was talking to you about Ruth and… oh, don’t make that face,” Caroline giggled as Gillian scowled, the sense of anger that she felt over what had happened with the other woman still not having dissipated even after all this time. How dare anyone be like that with Caroline? If she had been there she probably would have lamped her one. “Anyway. I was talking to you about… that situation… you told me that I was very attractive, and that I should go for it, and that she should be so lucky.” Caroline blushed, looking down at her hand which she quickly retracted, almost as if she realised the insinuation and didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.
Gillian grabbed it quickly and pulled it back, feeling both a little overwhelmed that her friend had taken her words to heart that much, but also because that was the best compliment that she had ever received. It said a lot of just how much of a drip John was with all of his fancy words that he hadn’t managed anything better, although she was sure that most of the poetic words that he had said had probably been negated by everything that happened afterwards. Tentatively, she raised her hand to her lips and brushed them over the blonde’s knuckles, knowing that she was probably crossing a line but just wanting her to know that she really had meant it. “Really, Caz?” she ventured, squeezing her fingers gently. “That… meant so much to you?”
“Well, yes…” Caroline blinked at her, a little smile tugging at her lips. “I don’t think you realised just how special that was for me at that point… I used to be this really confident, self assured person who could walk into any room and just know that I commanded the attention, but… well, after Kate…” The blonde looked down, swallowing nervously as Gillian ran her thumb over her knuckles. “I… I lost a lot of that. Plus… well, I think that I always come across like I’m confident, or… arrogant, or whatever, but… It’s a bit of an act, really.” She offered Gillian a wobbly smile, and the farmer nodded, understanding completely. She had thought that herself when she had first met her - with her fancy car, designer handbag and supercilious attitude, but she had quickly learned that there was so much more to her than that. They were the accompaniments to a life, not her personality.
“I know, Caz, why do you think I said it?” Gillian replied quietly, offering her a shy little smile. “Not to mention the fact that it’s true. You are very attractive.” She fought the blush that threatened to overwhelm her cheeks, continuing to make eye contact although she was growing uncomfortable - she just wanted Caroline to understand, to know just how special she was.
“Thank you,” Caroline murmured, the flush on her cheeks rivalling Gillian’s, and both of them looked away at the same moment - Gillian reaching for her wine whilst Caroline made a show of smoothing down her hair. There was a slightly awkward silence for a few moments until Gillian pushed the magazine onto Caroline’s lap, taking another couple of gulps of wine as she did so.
“Right…” Caroline hummed, looking down at the page. “Oh, this is a big one… have you ever been in love?” Her blue eyes came up to meet the brunette’s, and Gillian’s stomach flipped. She could hardly be honest… Over the years she had come to realise that, with Eddie, it hadn’t been love - it had been infatuation, more than anything, that had quickly descended into a hatred borne of the terror that he subjected her to soon after they got married. And Robbie… well, she had never loved him. Hadn’t even come close - the most she had ever been able to say was that she was fond of him.
The truth was that the only person that she had even been in love with, and the person that she was still in love with - falling deeper down that particular hole every time she saw her or interacted with her in any way - was Caroline. And she couldn’t admit that.
“Yes,” she said simply, nodding as she looked anywhere in the room apart from at Caroline. “Is it my turn now?”
Caroline looked a little confused at her reaction - Gillian knew that she was being obvious in the fact that she didn’t want to discuss it any further, but she couldn’t think of what else to do. She couldn’t talk about it, and the amount of wine that she had had now was liable to make her tongue looser than it should be. The blonde pushed the questions over before taking another sip of her own drink, her hand fiddling with the end of her scarf.
“Oh, shit…” Gillian breathed when she saw the other question, a little smirk sliding onto her face despite herself. The following question… well, it was a change in tone, although it would hopefully lighten the atmosphere that had fallen between them - whilst their conversation had been heartfelt, it had been heavier than she’d expected given that the questions were meant to be fun. “Um… okay. What’s your… biggest turn on?”
Caroline’s eyes widened comically as Gillian let out a little giggle, and she could tell that her mind was working frantically. “That hardly seems fair,” she commented, tilting her head to the side. “You got have you ever been in love, and I got what’s your biggest turn on?”
“Can’t control the questions, Caz,” Gillian chuckled, tapping her on the knee with the magazine. “Luck of the draw, I’m afraid.”
“Right… Well…” The headteacher cleared her throat, looking down into her wine. “Firstly, I think that it’s only fair that, if I tell you, then you should tell me yours, too,” she bargained, and Gillian only had to think about it for a moment.
“Deal!” she declared, holding her hand out to Caroline who rolled her eyes before giving it a little shake. “You’re first, though.”
“Okay, well…” Caroline shifted in her chair a couple of times, clearly incredibly uncomfortable. “I…I spend my life being… in charge, and… in control… of everything. And… sometimes… It’s nice not to be in control any more.” She blushed deeply, and Gillian nodded with a smile, finding it rather thrilling to have this little nugget of information stored away about her friend. She could just imagine what she might do if given the chance to take control of Caroline… the thought of pinning her down, or pushing her up against a door, or… well, any number of things would meet the brief. She did her best not to give away the surge of arousal that coursed through her, and instead tipped her head to the side as if she were deep in thought.
“And me… I think it’s being asked what I want. Being able to choose, you know? Not just…” She shrugged, grimacing slightly. “It’s nice… being asked.” It was something that she had rarely got from anyone that she had slept with, unfortunately, but when she had day dreamed about sleeping with Caroline - of which there had been many times - that had been a feature. Caroline asking her what she wanted whilst she hovered over her, in that low, conspiratorial voice that she something addressed her with… well, it never failed to get her going. She batted some of those thoughts away now, not wanting to make her current state of agitation any worse.
“That’s understandable,” Caroline nodded with a little smile. “You should be a lesbian, really, we tend to do that a lot in bed.”
Gillian almost choked on her wine, some of the ruby liquid shooting up her nose and making her cough violently. “I’m fine, fine,” she choked out, her eyes watering, as Caroline eyed her in amusement.
“Which… actually leads me on nicely to the next question,” Caroline hummed, shooting her a little wink. Gillian nearly melted onto the sofa. “Have you ever been attracted to the same sex?”
Faced with any number of responses, Gillian decided to just brazen it out. “Yeah… I mean…It hasn’t always been blokes,” she shrugged, slightly delighted at the dumbfounded expression that instantly appeared on the headteacher’s face. “When I was younger… yeah, messed about with a couple of girls. It was nice…” she finished lamely, knowing that, in reality, it had been more than nice. It had been lovely, and if Eddie hadn’t come along then she didn’t quite know where she would have ended up. “And… well, we went to the disco, didn’t we? I’m not blind.”
“The disco?” Caroline blinked, her mouth hanging open. “You… you were attracted to someone at the disco?”
Gillian fixed her with a long look, the temptation to confess that, bloody hell, yes she had been - Caroline, of course - and the words were on the tip of her tongue when Caroline started speaking once again.
“Was it that woman that you said that you bought sheep dip off?” she enquired, raising her eyebrow, and Gillian couldn’t help bursting out laughing. The woman in question had to be nearly seventy if she was a day, and was so haggard and bitter that Gillian had only dealt with her the once. Not to mention that she no longer had most of her teeth.
“No!” she gave back finally, still spluttering with laughter. “Christ, Caz, I’ve got better taste than that.”
“Questionable. You did sleep with John,” Caroline retorted quickly, wrinkling her nose, and Gillian’s mouth dropped open.
“So did you!” she shot back, and both of them started giggling again, choking and wheezing as tears ran down their cheeks. When they finally started to calm down Gillian retrieved the magazine from her lap as she dragged her sleeve across her cheeks, little hiccoughed chuckles still escaping her. “Oh, shit… I can see why you confiscated this, it’s filth,” she giggled, pointing at the second to last question. “When was your last orgasm?”
“Oh, bloody hell…” Caroline laughed, dropping her head back on the sofa cushions as she blushed yet again. It had definitely been a night for blushing, although Gillian reflected that it had been worth it to get to know each other better. Although quite what she would gain from this question - apart from getting even more turned on - was debatable. Letting out a huffed sigh, Caroline carried on. “That was last night. Anyway, moving on…” She snatched the magazine out of her lap again and hid behind it, Gillian unable to think of any kind of witty retort. What Caroline did in the privacy of her own bedroom was her business, but knowing that she obviously wasn’t opposed to having some… fun… on her own… well, it was interesting. She resolved to think about it a little more later…
“Last question,” Caroline said grandly, before letting out a slightly choked breath. “Right, well… okay. Would you rather sleep with your best friend or with a random stranger?”
Gillian felt her whole body sag against the sofa, dropping her wine to rest on the cushions as she considered what to say. It felt like more than a simple question… It was the choice between the woman that she used to be, and the woman that she was now - the fact that she had always been one to sleep around now turned into the fact that she had sworn off just about everyone. And the reason for that… Well, that had been Caroline. She couldn’t even countenance the thought of sleeping with anyone else when she was so desperately, madly, irrevocably in love with the blonde. To do so would have felt like betraying the love that she felt for her, even if it wasn’t returned. And… here she was, asking her this question. It felt unfair, and suddenly Gillian just couldn’t be there, couldn’t give her an answer…
“I… I…” she started, shaking her head and standing up quickly, shoving her glass on the coffee table. “Bathroom,” she muttered, before turning and bolting for the stairs. As she pounded up them she couldn’t help cursing herself, knowing that she should have just said that it was a random stranger - then everything would have stopped, they would have gone back to their evening and carried on as normal. Running away was the cowards way out, she thought, and she knew that it had made everything a bigger deal than it needed to be… But she just couldn’t lie to her.
Shoving her way into the bathroom, she slammed the toilet seat closed and sat on top of it, dropping her head into her hands and rocking slowly back and forth. She needed to think of something… anything, that she could say, to try and make this go away.
“Gillian?” came Caroline’s voice, and she could hear the blonde climbing the stairs. Gillian’s panic intensified, and suddenly she couldn’t remember if she’d locked the door of the bathroom. “Gillian, are you okay?”
Before she could check the door swung open, Caroline’s anxious face appearing in the gap. “Jeez, Caz, privacy!” she shot out defensively, and seeing the flash of hurt that shot across her face as a result she sighed deeply, hating herself for a moment. “Sorry. Sorry… I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” the blonde ventured, taking a few steps into the room and coming to stand in front of her. Gillian ducked her head, unable to meet her eyes, and Caroline dropped to her knees, sitting in front of her with an imploring look on her face. “Did… did the question upset you?”
“N-n-no,” Gillian lied, shaking her head quickly, knowing that she was being entirely unconvincing. “Why would it upset me?”
“I don’t know…” Caroline murmured, and she laid both of her palms on Gillian’s knees, stopping the insistent bouncing of her legs. “Would it help if I answered it first?”
Gillian slowly brought her eyes up to meet Caroline’s, completely unsure of where she was going with this. Knowing that there was something else underlying her question, but having no idea what it could be, Gillian answered the only way that she could think of. “Y-yes,” she nodded, and Caroline offered her a little smile.
“It’s an easy question, for me… one I didn’t have to think about,” she said quietly, gently squeezing her knees. “I’d rather sleep with my best friend.”
Gillian blinked at her as her heart seemed to flip in her chest, not quite believing what she was saying. She couldn't mean her? And… if she did, surely there couldn’t be anything else to it than not wanting to sleep with someone totally random? “O-o-okay,” she managed, nodding slowly. “Well… I guess I can’t imagine you sleeping with a random stranger, eh? Probably the easier option.”
“Gillian…” Caroline signed, rolling her eyes a little. “I did sleep with a random stranger - remember Olga? And… whilst I wouldn’t hurry to repeat that little escapade, it showed me that I’m capable of it. Don’t… don’t you understand?”
“Understand what?” Gillian replied, terrified to make the jump in her mind to the thought that Caroline maybe, just maybe, might find her attractive? Or… want anything with her. It was unfathomable, and she had spent so many long years telling herself that it was impossible that it felt completely unreal.
“Gillian…” Caroline said again, groaning. “Honestly, you are a pillock…” With that, she reached up and cupped Gillian’s face in her hands, stroking her cheeks affectionately as she beamed at her. She made a slight movement forwards, but then seemed to stop, as if something had occurred to her. “Can… can I kiss you?” she whispered, and something in Gillian’s heart exploded into happy sparks. Nodding quickly, she surged forwards, meeting the blonde half way in a soft, chaste kiss that was everything that she had imagined. Caroline was impossibly gentle, and when they parted she couldn’t help staring at her with wide eyes, not believing what had happened.
“Caz…” she mumbled, tears filling her eyes as the realisation struck her that she had just kissed her best friend. “Caz… I… I’d sleep with my best friend, too,” she blurted, for want or anything else to say, and Caroline giggled in response.
“You would?” Caroline asked, stroking her cheek tenderly. “For… fun, or because…” She left the gap open for her to speak, and Gillian couldn’t hold in her words any longer.
“Because I love you,” she said quickly, her eyes slamming closed as she hunched into herself a little, terrified that she was about to be rejected. Gently fingers tipped her chin back upwards as she was tugged into Caroline’s arms, her breath ghosting softly against her cheek.
“Took you long enough,” Caroline gave back with a little laugh, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I love you, too…” That confession was enough for Gillian to make a bold move of her own, and she moved to capture Caroline’s lips, pouring every ounce of love that she held for her into their kiss. It was deeper than before, more passionate, and as she pushed her tongue into Caroline’s mouth the blonde moaned softly. It was like fuel to a flame, and all Gillian could think was that she wanted more.
“You… you really love me?” she panted when they finally broke apart, resting their foreheads together as they both grinned happily. “Really? Like, you aren’t just… drunk, or… mad, or…”
“No, none of those things,” Caroline laughed, nuzzling their noses together affectionately. “In fact… well… Okay, so… Don’t be mad…”
“About what?” Gillian asked, furrowing her brow as she pulled back to look at her. Caroline looked a little guilty, and for the life of her she couldn’t understand why. “What have you done?”
“Well…” Caroline swallowed nervously, biting her lip before she continued. “After I’d confiscated those questions earlier… I was just going to throw them away. But… Well, somehow I found myself putting them in my bag, and bringing them over here. I don’t know what I expected, really, but…” She shrugged, looking even guiltier. “I guess… Well, I hoped that it might get us to talk about some of the things that we don’t really ever talk about, get to know each other better, and that I might… “
“You might what?” Gillian gave back, narrowing her eyes at her a little.
“I might try and work out if you felt anything for me,” Caroline mumbled, her eyes big and doe like as she looked up at her. “I… I’ve had feelings for you for so long, and… It’s all I can think about, most days, and… I just needed to know, one way or the other. I told myself that… that if it was obvious, that you weren’t interested… Well, that I’d move on, finally.” Her eyes were bright, and Gillian could tell that she was close to tears as she wrapped her in her arms.
“You twat,” she muttered affectionately, pressing a kiss to her temple as she held her tightly. “You could have just asked me, you know?”
“Yeah, right,” Caroline laughed mirthlessly, shaking her head. “And risk losing you, or having you run a mile? You… you’re too important, Gillian.”
“I’m just as much to blame, I guess,” Gillian added thoughtfully, pulling back to look at her once again. “I… I could have asked you, too, rather than stewing about it in my own head for so long. I… I guess I just could never see why someone like you would go for someone like me.”
“Oh, Gillian…” Caroline breathed, and pressed a quick kiss against her lips once again. “You… you’re everything, you know that? Everything…” They met again in another kiss, Gillian thanking her lucky stars that some unlucky kid had had their magazine confiscated off them today by their headteacher, and that very headteacher was now wrapped around her, her clever fingers creeping under her shirt to skim the waistband of her jeans.
“Do… do you want to go and talk a bit more?” Gillian offered once they eventually pulled away, unable to help the happy grin from sliding onto her face. “We could go back down… or…” She bit her lip, hoping that the blonde got her meaning.
A slow smile spread across Caroline’s face as she looked at her, reaching to take her hand. “Well, Gillian Greenwood… what do you want?” she hummed, and Gillian just beamed even more.
“You,” she murmured, feeling so happy that she might burst. “Always you.” As she leant forwards to kiss her once again, the truth of that statement hit her. It had been, and always would be, Caroline. There was no one more perfect for her, and she would do her utmost to prove her love to her everyday that she was able to. Wherever this went, and whatever happened, she loved her. Caroline truly was the answer to every question that was ever worth asking, and the answer that she would never hesitate to give.
<3